May 31, 2023 • 47 mins
Join Brooke Taylor (@Brookeradio) and SK Hammer (@SKHammer) for a conversation about the good, bad and ugly of being a full-time influencer. SK opens up about heartbreak that led her to grad school in South Carolina and how 'Wellness Walks' saved her life.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Stage. Welcome to the backstage withYou're all access passed to music City,
where nothing is off limits. Graba drink, let's go backstage. Welcome
to another episode. I'm so excitedabout this. Hold on, let me
get you here. Let me cuteyour walkout music. Y'all. Welcome Eska
(00:24):
Hammer to the studio. That actuallysounded really good. I was like,
Eskay, what is what's your favoritesong? And she hit me with a
shoot. I was like, oh, she does, what's a shoop man?
Yeah? Salt and Peppa. Iknow it just it just took me
a minute. But I'm not I'mnot a good dancer. So I'm like,
shoot, shoot, that's it.Yeah, okay, It's like was
(00:45):
that actually good though? Yeah?Some castor and so funny. I literally
texted Eska and I was like,you want to be on my podcast?
She was like, okay, Iwould love to. I said I would
be honored. Honored. Yeah,I threw out honored she did. She
threw out the honored friend card.Yeah, but I seriously, I'm so
excited to talk to you about lifein general. Backstage with Brooke really just
(01:07):
kind of embodies backstage, behind thescenes kind of vibe and everybody thinks you
know music industry, but in Nashvillespecifically, I feel like you've made this
mark as like a Nashville influencer obviously, like across the US too, like
you travel a ton and you justwent to Israel, which we're going to
talk about that, but I justI want to dive into like influencer life
(01:30):
because I feel like a lot ofpeople they see Instagram or TikTok or whatever
social media outlet that people use,and that's what they think, oh my
gosh, that's so awesome, butthey don't get to see literal blood,
sweat and tears that goes into beingan influencer. It's a full time job.
So I'm excited to talk about this. So first your story. You
(01:51):
went to college and then you decidedto go get your masters, and I
just tell me this story on howI mean, I know the story,
worry, but everybody else doesn't knowthe story about how sk decided you were
going to move across the country andyou're going to take a leap of faith
and how you know sk Hammer onInstagram was born. Yeah, okay,
(02:13):
let's let's roll it back, rollit back, honey. Yes, So
I did. I went to theUniversity of Utah for undergrad and while there,
I just was overly involved. Youwould say, um, was in
every club organization, like really tryto get my hands in everything and do
(02:34):
it all. Um that is mypersonality. That was my personality. And
from there I developed this love forcollege. Listen, it's there's it's it's
a real thing. Though. It'slike, I mean college is fun.
Yeah, yeah, it was likeyou know, it's like glory days,
like you find yourself, you becomewho you're you know, maybe going to
(02:55):
become. And it was a greatexperience. And because I was so involved
on campus, I really wanted togo into this career that's called student Affairs
essentials like everything I was doing inschool, but like as an advisor,
So like why wouldn't you want todo that? You know, throw parties,
(03:16):
work in greek life, student government, like you know, it's just
it was right up my alley andI was like, that's what I'm gonna
do. But it took me along time to get there. Because I
graduated with a degree in exercise sportsscience. I was gonna do personal training
or medical field. And I graduatedfrom undergrad and honestly, there was a
(03:39):
lot of imposter syndrome with that,and I was like, oh, I
need to look a certain way beforeI can start training people right, And
like, with that expectation on me, it hindered my ability to adequately help
other people help myself. And soI had a job just like a regular
(04:01):
best job in my life. Myjob after college was so great. I
was like an executive assistance. Iwas just gonna say, what was it.
I loved it. I loved it. I did not foresee myself getting
that job, but I had likea sorority sister, like an older one,
like hit me up and be like, do you know anyone that's graduating
looking for a job? Me like, hello, that's me. Yes,
(04:23):
it's me, Hello, Hi.And I got into this job that was
really it was a good learning likea good learning step. And it was
kind of like the my parents sawit and they glorified it because my parents
come from the age of you geta job, you stick with it,
good benefits, good pay. Theytreat you right like somewhere where you're going
(04:44):
to retire. Yeah, this isyour end all be all. And every
time I would talk about my job, like this is awesome, like you
have it so good, like thisis so great. So then that compared
to what I do now, theydon't understand. Yeah, they do not
understand at all. U. Sothat's like very interesting to have that conversation
with them. And I'm sure alot of people also are on the same
page of like what is this jobthat you do and how are you doing
(05:08):
it? Totally. So while Iwas in this job between undergrad grad I
fell in love as some do,yeah, and dated this guy. We
dated like long distance for a while, and he was living in San Francisco,
and so as I'm like in thisjob that you know, it's a
great job, but it's really justlike clocking clock out, don't have to
(05:31):
think about it totally, don't knowwhere it's going, don't think it's my
passion. Like, Okay, I'mthinking about going back to school. He's
in San Francisco, so I'm lookingat schools in northern California in the city,
and we get to a place where, Okay, tuition is gonna be
really expensive if I try to dothat because out Yeah, So I'm like,
(05:51):
okay, I'm gonna live there fora while, get in state tuition
we'll do our thing. So weweren't going to live together. We I
found a place like in the cityin San Francisco, really good rent,
like really good friend. I'll tellyou it was nine I was just gonna
say, really good right. Iwas like, it's gonna be under a
thousand. It was nine hundred dollarsin San Francisco. Literal dream come true,
(06:15):
like right now, you know.It literally was like blessings. It
was like I was like, Okay, I want to pursue a relationship with
this man and I want to takethat next step, and like, okay,
what can I do? And soI found a place to live easy,
found a job, easy, likeinterviewed, got it, and it
got to the place where I wasso excited. I was like, everything's
working out. This is gonna begreat. I'm gonna move to San Francisco
(06:39):
and I'm gonna date this man thatI love and then we're gonna get married.
Yeah. And I tell him andI did not get the reaction that
I expected. Did he not knowthat you were? I think he knew
we were talking about it, youknow, I just don't know if he
thought I was actually making moves oractually taking it serious or like would actually
(07:00):
be able to find a place tolive or find a job, like I
think that he was just like youknow, keeping the pace, like yeah
yeah, and like you know,looking back, there's a lot of things
that I should have known, Likeit was his idea, like we should
date closer to each other before wetalk about marriage totally. So I'm like,
okay, let me get my bag, right, cool, Like that's
(07:23):
the stipulation, let's do it.Yeah, And then um I tell him
and he looks at me and hegoes, you can't afford that. That
was his reaction, Like you can'tafford that period? Excuse sir? What?
Like that was just I just Iwas like, okay, interesting and
I was like, cars, howI can make it work? Blah blah
blah. He goes on a boystrip that weekend, comes home and dumps
me. Boys trips. So youhad already did you had signed a lease
(07:46):
already, You hadn't signed papers,hadn't signed anything, which was great,
which was it was hard. Itdefinitely was hard, and it was I
mean, it was right, youknow what I mean. I don't want
to chase someone that doesn't want tomarry me, Like I don't even one
day someone that listen. I wasjust talking with somebody about this about how
like these memes go around social mediaright now, where it's like if somebody
wants to be around you, they'regoing to text you back, you know
(08:09):
what I mean. Like these girlsthat are like, oh, they're just
playing a game and they're you know, they're playing coy. They're like they're
playing and I'm like, no,if he wanted to text you, he
would text you already, you knowwhat I mean. So like to sit
on you for having that perspective,because a lot of people don't. They
might have tried to stay. Yeah, And it was I mean, it
really opened up an opportunity. Andthis is where we get to Clemson because
(08:31):
I was really just location bound andthen I took it as this like okay,
open it up. I applied everywhere. I interviewed everywhere, and it
was great because this job that Iloved and I have so much respect for,
and you know, they shape alot of who I am. They
were open, they were like,we'll take care of all your things.
You go as many interviews as youneed to go on is like much time
(08:52):
as you need off, Like weacknowledge that this is the next step in
your career and we support you.Yeah, so of course I took advantage
of that. I was like,where can I go? Like I was
gone every month for interview weekends andit was so fun. But Clemson was
my first interview weekend and I didn'tknow about it. A small town in
(09:13):
the South, you know, Iwent to school in South Carolina as a
trust I know. I was like, okay, whatever I have. I
have University of Southern California and NYU, I have Vanderbilt. I'm like,
whatever, this is a fun littleI'm getting away right weekend ended up Clemson's
where I went. And a bigpart of that decision was money. They
(09:33):
are awesome. They provide They providedme a full tuition, housing, food,
like amazing. Where do I sign? Yeah? I was like,
hey, no, that's a no, totally yeah. And I think that
it was a it was a reallyhard time in my life. And I
think a big part of why itwas a hard time is like I didn't
involve God in that decision. Yeah. I think that I was feeling types
(09:56):
of ways after my college boyfriend andI broke up in and I was like,
oh, set of this for thisnext guy, and I ended up
fall in love with him wanting tomarry him, and then yeah, he
also breaks up with me, andso I'm like, God, do you
want my back? Like, I'lldo this on my own totally. I
mean, listen, we all getthere at those points in our lives where
we're like I know better than youdo, and you'll always look back and
be like, hey, sorry,yeah you know exactly. But yeah,
(10:20):
and so it was. It was. I was wrestling with a lot of
changes at that time. It ismy first time living outside of you tame,
my first time experiencing anything that waslike different from the culture and the
people that I grew up with.Yeah, but ten out of ten recommend
Yeah, you gotta go through helltoo, you know, go, you
gotta go get sing it if you'regoing. If you're going through it,
(10:41):
keep on moving, don't slow down. If you're moving, you might get
out before the dell even knows you'rethere. I think we are available to
be signed. Yeah, I'm like, we're going to get a contract.
We could just be called bk newBee. Okay, let's go heck yeah,
(11:03):
I um, I just I loveyour how you started off saying I
mean not love, but you knowwhat I'm saying, Like when you were
talking about imposter syndrome and how thatcan be such a thing. I had
no idea that you studied exercise science. Funny story about me. This is
a little fun fact about BT thatyou might not know. I was an
exercise science major before. Like assoon as I got to college, I
(11:26):
was, yeah, I want tobe an athletic trainer. This is what
I want to do. Makes sense. You were athletes. I played volleyball
in college. That was my wholething. I showed up to my first
anatomy class and they gave us thelike quiz in the beginning, and they
were like, if you do badon this, you could you should consider
dropping this course. Literally got threequestions right three. I was like this
saying for me. I like lookedat the professor and I was just like,
can I be excused? Like thisis not for me? And our
(11:50):
school was like known for like theirnursing program and stuff, so they were
just like on everything, but that'sa hard major too, like succeed in
Yeah, So I mean what Iknow, I had no idea. I
mean, yeah, I was prettypretty good at academics. That's like exercise
science. Man. I just Italk for a living, Okay, So
(12:13):
I feel like my brain's like thissmall sometimes compared to people. But um,
the imposter syndrome of like not feelinglike you're good enough to do something
that you're good at, it's sucha real thing nowadays, it is,
and I feel like it definitely likeHindsights twenty twenty, right, but like
it definitely did hold me back,and like if I could go talk to
(12:33):
my younger self and be like,hey, that doesn't matter, and especially
like in ten years, like peoplelike that's what people actually want. Like
people want someone who's relatable, wholooks like them, who can offer advice
and like have similar Like I've beenthrough that, here's what I do.
Yeah, so I wish I definitelylike it is. It is hard,
(12:54):
Like we all go through it totally, and I mean even nowadays, Like
I know that we've talked offline aboutcertain things, but like the imposter syndrome
nowadays when it comes to social media, and I mean doing it for a
living, I mean you've got togo through that a lot. Oh yeah,
every day every day, I'm likeup and up and down up and
down like oh I love this,this is so great. I'm doing so
(13:15):
great, and then I need toquit, Like what is this? I
can't keep up? Like I'm notgood enough. I'm not you know,
trendy enough, artistic enough, prettyenough, cool enough. I don't know.
Yeah, there's all the enough everythingyou can think of well, and
it's just like, you know,everything is based on your value of how
many likes you have, how manyfollowers you have, how many you know,
if you have a blue check mark, if you're you know, if
(13:39):
you've gone viral, if whatever,blah blah blah. But people don't see
They see all of that stuff thinkingthat it just comes as it comes right,
but they don't see the literal likecrazy hours that you work. Yeah,
like I mean taking taking for example, say you have to edit a
video. How long does it takeyou to edit one? Sixteen second?
(14:00):
And it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing howlong it takes me? Like our minimum
depending if I want to like justdo my normal you know practice, you
know, you practice, you learnyour craft, your skill totally. If
if I'm trying to do anything that'slike a little bit out of my comfort
zone, trying to do something newand creative. Yeah, I'm like,
it takes a really long time,and it's it's definitely commendable too, because
(14:22):
editing is a hard thing to dofirst and foremost, but then also like
editing and then posting, and thenyou know, searching and seeking out brand
deals and things like that. Ithink a lot of people don't understand like
what it takes to I say,what it takes, but like, what
is like a day day in thelife of an influencer, like a full
time influencer. That's what you dofor your full time job. Take us
(14:43):
through a normal day, Like whatit looks like my day? Wake up,
take my wellness walk. We cantalk more about that later. This
girl, but wake up. Iwake up like six, so I'm like,
she's up. I'm up. We'retrying to get stuff done. Walk,
work out, breakfast, get onthe computer. It's like emails,
editing, engaging, following up,giving insights like brand seed insights. You
(15:07):
have to go back through and getall your insights, and then making sure
you have your cover photo right andlike lined up and that looks good on
your feed. And then okay,we're looking at what's trending on TikTok.
Right, now, Okay, howdo I create this? Like then you
are googling it and trying to likerecreate it and then negotiating with brands and
then not only that, but likeokay, yeah, normal day to day
(15:28):
things, right, But then thepart for me is like I stand up
for my computer, work's not done, Like I always have my phone in
my hand. I'm always thinking like, Okay, this could be like a
really pretty picture, this could makea cool reel, or I need to
like film part of this because thatone day sometime maybe I'm gonna need a
clip of this. And then andso instead of being like present with my
friends, I'm like, okay,I like picture, or I'm like thinking
(15:50):
the back of my head, likeif I do intentionally try to be present,
that's when I'm mostly like, oh, like I want to get I
want to get my camera out,like I really want to like I want
to capture this. I want tocapture this feeling that I'm feeling right now,
this experience, and I want toshare that because it is either you
know, aspirational, inspirational, it'smeaningful to me, and I just want
to like put myself out there orsomeone else could get something from this,
(16:11):
and so it's like constantly always running, you know, I'm doing it until
I go to bed at night,and not truly ever getting a break too.
And I think that's what I've noticedand like learned from you as a
friend. By the way, asK and I met through Instagram too.
By the way, our Instagram wewe had a mutual friend I don't even
(16:33):
remember how, but then we justInstagram and we went to Saint and Najo
our first date. That was ourfirst date. We were there for hours,
we were there for so long,we talked for so long, talking
about our lives and just hanging andwe just literally hit it off and have
been friends ever since. So that'sa that's a gist of our friendship and
how that began. But it was, you know, it was a little
(16:55):
Instagram friendship and then we were like, let's hang out. So we hung
out and here we are. Butjust knowing you and knowing that you just
never like mentally get a break.Yeah, I always empathize so much with
you and your job and like whatyou do because you truly can never turn
off, which is not a badthing. It's not I'm not saying that
that's a bad thing. But forthe backstage quote unquote purpose of like who
(17:15):
you are and like your job,like you go on vacation and you've got
to document it or you have tohave you know, outfits planned for brand
collaborations and like listen, ladies likeor gentleman. If she's not posting,
she's not making money. And that'sthe that's the beauty of all of this,
you know, the beauty of thebusiness. Is like my parents drive
(17:36):
a semi truck for a living,and if they're not driving, if they're
not moving, they're not making money. And that's just like how they're like
job works. So it's just likeit's so interesting to me for other people
to like talk about like their jobsand like how it works, because I
don't think people truly get it.They're like, oh, it must be
nice to just be able to siton your phone all day, and it's
like, actually, it must benice to actually not have your phone all
day. You know, it mustbe nice to leave your phone at home.
(18:00):
That's like, right, I wishI could. Let's circle back to
your wellness walks. I love thisand this is one of my favorite things
that you do because it truly helpsme want to like get out and like
take a walk because mental health,wellness, physical wellness, emotional wellness,
spiritual illness. You're like the wellnessgirly in my life and I always love
seeing you take your wellness walks becauseyou truly it's not just something you post
(18:22):
about. I feel like there area lot of influencers that like they'll post
about something, but it's not reallywho they are. You truly do take
a wellness walk every single night.What inspired you to like want to do
that or like, how did thewellness walks start for you? Um?
Okay, So when I moved toNashville, so I've been here for three
years. I moved during COVID itwas July twenty twenty. Loved being here.
(18:48):
I felt like I didn't know ifit was forever, and I was
wrestling with a lot of things oflike now I'm trying to do influencing full
time. I'm still not back inUtah with my friends and family. I
just graduated from grad school, likethat was halted in the middle of my
program and then just like hey,good job, you have your degree,
Like goodbye. So weird. Yeah, such a strange time. So and
(19:12):
then like like I said, likefrom moving from Utah, having those two
years in grad school of like selfreflection and evaluation, which it really wasn't
because I was just masking everything.I like adopted some really unhealthy lifestyle habits
during that time. That was reallyI didn't really know how to cope with
(19:33):
what I was feeling, and Ididn't really want to address it, and
I really was just doing everything Icould to avoid Yeah, my best,
my favorite coping mechanisms avoidance. Butthen when I when I looked at it,
and I was like very very verydepressed, like not okay, not
wanting to be here, didn't reallysee my value of like you know,
(19:56):
I'm like I'm not even with likefamily, like I left Utah on no
one checks in and I'm just hereand I'm alone. And I just felt
like I was like grappling for friendshipsand like pulling and trying so hard,
and that's that's not the way toget friendships, you know. But like
it just was like as trying todo things and I was doing it,
oh in a way that was moreharmful than helpful. And it finally got
(20:18):
to a place where I was likeI need something's got to change, something's
got to give, And like Iwas just drinking a lot and like really
like it would cause me to beeven more depressed. And I just would
get in like phases and just getangry and not want, not be happy
with who I was or what Iwas doing. And so I took a
couple months and I just basically tryingto do seventy five heard Have you heard
(20:41):
of that? Yeah? Yeah,So like there's all these lists of things
to do when you do seventy fiveheart, and one of them is like
a forty five minute workout outside.So I started going to walks and I
would do this every day. Andwhat I realized and I talked to a
friend. His name's Doug Cartwright.We knew each other in college and he's
written a book and I've read hisbook, and he came to Nashville and
like we met but the rooftop atLosers and I'm like in this, like
(21:03):
you know, I'm in this phaseof my life that I'm just like going
all out and you know, tryingto avoid and I meet this friend who,
like I was a soft I wasa freshman in college, and he
was like this cool older classman,like, yeah, this guy that was
like he's so cool and cute,and like I cannot like, I just
thought he was so cool. Andthen the fact that like what ten years
later, he's like, hey,I'm a Nashville, let's meet up.
Talk to me. How like hislife has changed. He's going through this
(21:26):
like spiritual wellness whatever. Yeah,And so it was I think it was
something in either his book or somethinghe said that was like that time without
your phone, that time just tobe alone. And so I took that
as a challenge. And so myroutine is I wake up and I just
got outside. I mean, Ihad my phone with me for safety.
It's still on sleep mode do notdisturb, and I try really hard not
(21:48):
to look at it. And Ifeel like when I feel like I'm doing
good, I'm like on my phone, you know. Yeah. But you
know, when I really try totake the time to be intentional about that
walk, I'm going to tell youthe first couple of months it was so
hard. Yeah, because I hadto actually think, there's no music,
no podcast, nothing, I hadto think I had to be alone with
(22:10):
my thoughts. Right. That's andI mean, listen, that is a
loud place to be. Yeah,yeah, and it was hard, Like
there are times I feel like Icouldn't even get through my walk without being
like it's too much, it's toomuch, and just that routine and like
really really reflecting and really being like, Okay, this is not who I
want to be. What do Iwant to be? How do I want
to become that person? What needsto change? What am I not going
(22:33):
to give up? What can Iand like how am I really feeling started
going therapy. I'm not lying whenI say the Wellness Walk has changed,
like saved my life. Like Ido not know where I would be if
I did not start this practice ofjust before I look at my phone,
before I get into emails, beforeI check notifications, before anything gets in
my brain that can derail me orlike distract me. I'm outside, I'm
(22:56):
in nature, I'm in silence.Can't like I can't speak enough about it,
like I recommend it to everyone.I might not be the first thing
you do in the morning, butjust like because like like you said,
like I'm always on, always thinkingabout things and so and I you know,
as you can maybe now know likeI do that because I'm hurting you
know, I'm trying to avoid rightlike the other situations and I so I'm
(23:18):
constantly working. Yeah, and soI've really had to learn to take time
be still. That sucks, butit's amazing. I mean, listen,
and I you're dedicated to it.Like when I tell you, Eska,
we'll go out in the pouring rainif it's cold, It like it doesn't
matter. She is suited up,she is geared up, ready to go
in her wellness walks. And it'sit's such an inspiring thing for not just
(23:41):
me, but so many of yourfollowers do their wellness walks and they'll like
tag you, And I know thatthat means so much to you because it's
such a therapy thing for you andto be able to like feel like that
you're helping somebody else and it's justlike, listen, if you help one
other person, that is like sopriceless. And I know that that means
so much to you. So Ijust know that those wellness walks might seem
(24:03):
like a mundane or just something that'sjust a part of your life, but
you even just posting about them orlike they're they're changing people's lives. And
how it saved yours. Like,I'm sure that there's people who haven't tagged
you in a video or something.There's probably people out there that are like
their wellness walks have saved their livestoo, So like it's really important to
make sure that you know that you'remaking a difference, whether or not you
(24:25):
feel like you are. I knowfor a fact, because it's helped me
and like my journey of like wantingto be you know a little more a
little more move like do not alittle moment, yeah, a little more
movement during the day, even ifit's just like ten minutes, Like it
is such a game changer. Andlike you said, not being on your
phone, because it's so easy tojust like take a walk, but you've
(24:45):
got a podcast on or music on, or somebody texts you and it's just
like then you're right back into itall. But when you just fully disconnect
and she will like you are alwayson do not disturb mode in the morning
if I text you, I'm like, oh, she's on our walk,
she's out, she's doing something.But I think that's such a cool thing
that you've implemented and that you've kindof taken into other places in your life.
(25:07):
Like you're my wellness girl. Likeanytime that I go to SK's Instagram,
I know that there's something going on, whether it's like your emotional wellness,
your mental health, whether it's yourspiritual wellness like in our Bible study
and things like that. I justI love that you are not only helping
to like work on yourself, butlike you're working on other people too.
And like I said, I knowthat you are. You're in it,
(25:30):
so you see it right here,but like from a like a bigger,
like broader perspective lens, like you'rehelping so many people. And I hope
you know that because I know thatI can get very like you know,
oh, this is just my job. Yeah. No, I appreciate you
saying that, because even as Ipromote wellness, I have those moments I
mean mostly all the time, butthose moments of imposter syndrome still, especially
(25:51):
with like the whole that girl wellnesstrend. Yeah, I have literally had
close friends be like you do that? How are you wellness? Like this
isn't very wellness of you? Like, yeah, you don't look a certain
way. I'm like I'm on theIsrael trip and like this girl was like
literally ask me, like, howdo you promote wellness when you like are
also eating and drinking and like thesize that you are, Like somebody said
(26:15):
that to your face. Yes,what we've been drinking so okay, but
like it I think actually, likeso I do get the imposter syndrome in
that, but it gives me away to explain exactly why I do this.
It's because I do it for theeveryday girl, like the girl or
man or person that is like,you know, I don't have time for
(26:36):
that. It's not my vibe.Like I love my diet cokes. I
love this, I love doing livingwith friends like great. Yes, I'm
not doing this to like change,you know, Like I don't know.
I just feel like there's so muchapplause given to like huge transformations or like
super super strict, dedicated routines,and I just want to show that there's
a way to implement if it's justone, if it's just one element of
(26:59):
wellness every day, whether that's itcould be social social wellness, like you
and I getting together one thing everyday, and like ways to do it
in a way that like you don'tfeel like you have to end your whole
life, which I feel like asas I go on and as people go
on, these things are like thesethings fuel the soul totally. So you're
going to do more and more everyday and then you are going to have
(27:21):
those transformations, but you're going todo it in a way that's not self
like decriminating and like like self sabotaging. Well, and I so as K
and I work out with the samepersonal trainer, So Jamie shout out to
Jamie and good Life Training and welove you so much. But um,
I think it's such a cool thingbecause I started working out with Jamie because
(27:41):
I saw you posting about it andI was just like, oh, I'm
gonna hit him up and see,like what this is all about. But
Jamie is all about and I thinkthis is why I love you so much,
is because he's all about like it'slife's about balance, right, Like
if you want to get taco bell, you can get taco bell and not
feel bad about it because that's justlike a part of life. And if
it's a part of your life,He's going to shift and make sure that,
(28:03):
like we stay in a calorie deficitto make sure that we're still like
on track for our goals. Soit's just like give and take here and
there in different places in your life. And I think that's so like normal
about any type of wellness, right, Like you don't have to be a
bodybuilder and not eat cheeseburgers ever againto like be healthy, you know what
I mean? And for someone tosay that about you, it's just like
(28:26):
you're healthy and my body in whatway? You know what I mean?
Like I don't have to weigh onehundred and fifty pounds and be a size
you know, seven or whatever tolike be healthy or whatever it is.
And I just I hate that societyhas told us that we're supposed to look
a certain way because I mean,you know, in my postpartum journey and
like what I've been going through andjust like feeling different about my like my
(28:48):
body's different. Like I went frombeing like a size ten twelve to like
now I'm a fourteen sixteen and likewearing baggy clothes because I'm ashamed of my
body, which is like why,you know, It's just like why are
we ashamed of what we look like? Because who told us that it was
we're supposed to look a certain way. Because there's so many people that are
that smaller size that are not healthy, emotionally not healthy, spiritually not healthy,
(29:15):
like you know if socially. Yeah, there's just so many. It's
just like pick your heart, right, Like pick which wellness area is going
to be your hard one, Likeit could be physical, it could be
emotional, whatever. But everybody doesn'tlook the same. And I think that's
what's so great about the world isthat we can all be different, but
we can all like be nice toeach other. Yeah. I don't like
how so many people are just somean all the time, especially on social
(29:40):
media, Like I can't believe thatgirls said that's your face. Yeah,
I mean. It's the thing aboutit is it doesn't phase me because it's
more often than not that the questionscome, you know, and I'm so
happy to answer them because I getit. Like we are taught that in
what we see is like wellness isABC. You know, in a lot
times we think wellness, we thinkphysical. I think physical wellness. That's
(30:03):
what we think. And so itis great that it opens up a conversation
totally, Like at least I feellike I've gotten to a place where I
can look back at you know,college grad sk and be like, no,
you can be a trainer if that'swhat you want, you can.
And so like, now that Isee that, I can say I'm I
have that confidence in myself to belike no, I I am passionate about
(30:26):
this and it is something I knowand it is something I care about and
I can still do it without beingperfect. Right. I love that.
Yeah, you can literally accomplish somethingwithout being perfect. Yeah. And another
another plug. So I while ingrad school, I actually create a curriculum
for first year students around the eightelements of wellness. So like, I
(30:48):
know what I'm I know what I'mtalking about. Like, let me show
you. She's like, let meget out my guide. Okay, okay,
we have we have a degree toback up. I'm not just sitting
on, you know, on Instagramsaying you should you should ask homegirl for
her her email address and send hera PDF file. And I'm like,
here's my biby bliography or my researchand work I've done. Oh my gosh,
(31:10):
that is seriously, that's that that'sepic. Have you ever thought about,
like, if you decided not todo influencing again, would you want
to go back and be in physicaltherapy or do something with that that degree.
Um, yeah, yeah I thinkI would. I definitely enjoid it
and inflection. She's like, okay, yeah, as much as like we're
sitting here like influencers like this,I'm like, man, I love it.
(31:34):
Yeah, I love it so much, even when I hate it.
Yeah, you're just you're good atit. I just it's just, you
know, the biggest thing for meis like, no, I haven't asked
someone for time off. That's huge. I mean that's like real, that's
so real though. Yeah, likeI will just ask myself for time off
and one hundred year it is.But no, I do think that I
(31:56):
would not be able to be inthis position. I do not have that
bone in my body that a lotof really great entrepreneurs have of like I'm
going for I'm risking it. Likethere's a lot of me that is very
safe and very rational. I wantto make the best decision. I weigh
all my options, so I knowthat I could not fully engage in this
job if I didn't have my degreestotally, because I know if something happens,
(32:21):
I have degrees and I can goget a job. But like I
really admire like you know that.It's a huge part of like what gets
people going is like, hey,I don't have anything else, Like I
gotta I gotta make this happen,right, So yeah, I think,
like I think there's always possibility,and I didn't want to keep that open
because who knows what's going to happenwith totally. If you're hiring for a
(32:44):
personal or a physical therapist or somethinglater in life, maybe Eska will be
the guy or the girl that youyou run to keep it to keep it
open, I'll send you her emailaddress. So when it comes to like
influencing though, has there ever beena part of you, it's ever just
like I'm done. I want toquit, Like I can't do this anymore.
Yeah. Back in twenty nineteen,my account got hacked. Oh god,
(33:06):
I don't know those I got hacked, And like there was a moment
I was like, wow, likeif I'm just what if I just like
don't get it back, what ifI just like you know what I mean,
There was that moment I was like, Wow, this could be totally
this could be my way out.Yeah, Like I found a way out
because let me tell you, I'vebeen doing this since the app opened,
(33:28):
Like I feel like it was liketwenty ten. I signed up, got
my user name, Like we're postingpics. We're trying to, you know,
did the whole thing. College travelafter call like always, I was
like Instagram girl, like, hereto my DSLR. You know. It
was like what I was known for. It was rough out in the streets
back in the day when you hadthe like the you had to have an
external camera like you had the digitalcamera, you had to upload it.
(33:50):
It was it was a grind youdid that. Yeah, I'm like at
frat parties, I'm like, yes, Solar, let's go. I don't
know how they let me in.In college, I didn't drink, so
I was like just this like I'mthe sober counselor with like and I'm thinking
like dsl or photos of like peopledoing things they probably never want to like
relive, like did you destroy thosememory? Honestly though, it's so funny.
(34:14):
One of my best friends from collegeis like so mad at me because
I really I was like I photographedeverything, like I was documenting it all
like for everyone, Like there wasone point every single fraternity story like open
house video was all my photos.Wow, Like everyone, Like I just
did it all and not like becauseit was a job, but I just
always had my cameras, right,Like, do you have this anyway?
(34:36):
We got I my computer got full. You know this, we're all dealing
with like full storage things. Yes, my computer got full, my college
computer, and like all my stuffwas on it, and you can't upload
the there's like new like what Idon't know what's it called, Like it's
from version one point out a versionone. Oh yeah, you can't upgrade
it. You can't update update itif you don't have any storage. So
(35:00):
all that stuff is on this mycollege computer. And I'm like, one
day I'll be a millionaire and beable to pay someone who like knows computers
get all that stuff off. Butall the time, she always messaged to
me, she's like, I'm somad, so mad at you because lost
all those memories. Oh man,so yeah, she's mad. I'm mad.
But probably the peoples, you know, are like so happy. And
(35:20):
there's people are running for president twentyyears that you have pictures of them doing
keg stands in college. Oh man, yeah, you're definitely gonna want to
pay somebody to get those pictures off. That gonna be good, make my
money back. Influencing is such aI feel like, strange topic for some
people. I feel like kind ofuncomfortable. Yeah, and like peoplefortable people
(35:43):
are aged. I feel like getit yeah for the most part. But
like you said earlier, how likehaving those conversations with like your parents,
like they don't get it. Yeah, those conversations are weird. They're so
weird. So my parents literally didn'tunderstand what I was doing ever, and
they don't follow me because I don'tlet them. I mean, but so
(36:06):
they really don't get it, likethey don't see it whatever. But I
guess um who wasn't like Rachel Parcel. She's a Utah girl. She was
on like the local news. They'relike, oh, that's what our daughter
does, got it? And thenthey like we're able to figure out because
there was like some special to talkabout. I mean, I'm Noel.
I am not even I'm not tryingto compare myself to her at all.
(36:27):
Like I'm not even on that levellike this girl she's got it. But
what I'm saying is my parents werelike, oh, okay, yeah,
I still get texts like good youneed to move home, Like how are
you making red. They're just likethey're they're just let me do my thing.
But I like the way I tryto ascribe it to people who don't
get it that are a little older. I'm like, basically, it's like
me making a commercial for someone.Yeah, so it's like a commercial that
(36:51):
you'd see on TV. It's justnow that you see it on social media.
But it's like, from your perspective, it's not just actors. It's
like, but like you're literally playingthe actor in the in the ad or
the commercial or whatever it is,and like that's all it is. That
makes so much sense. Yeah,so maybe try like I'm just I'm just
(37:12):
an actor and a commercial, anactor and a commercial every single day.
Some of my followers are like,yeah, you are one of the things
that I love talking about too,which I know that you're very particular with
who you work with, but thereare so many influencers. I feel like
that just say yes to everything.Oh let me tell you a story,
Okay, let's hear it. Forabout two years, two years one year.
(37:36):
So when I went to grad school, I was like, I told
you, it was not happy,it was not whatever. Right, I
had a ton of credit card Ihad sixty thousand dollars of credit card debt
when I went to grad school,which is why obviously I made the decision
to go to the free grad school. Totally um, but that was me.
I was like, I wasn't Iwasn't comfortable with how I looked,
how my body had changed. Iwasn't comfortable with, um, what I
was doing. I told you,I was making like life choices that were
(37:59):
not in line with my value andwere not what I have ever experienced before.
So I just posted ads and Iwas that girl. I was like,
yes everything. I was like,for a free little container of deodorant,
I'm like, I will smile andhold that deodorant. I love it.
I will, you know, everythingI can get for, which sucked
because I mean it was great.I got out of debt, so grateful
(38:20):
for that. I'm grateful for theopportunities that taught me a lot about negotiations
and country blah blah blah. ButI really was when I left Utah,
I was like on that cusp oflike I could name I could drop names
like of all these like huge influencers, and I was like right there with
them. And then you lose allyour authenticity, you lose it and I
did. I lost it and I'vebeen working to bring it back. But
(38:40):
I was doing everything I could,everything I could, which is why now
I am so adamant about like I'mdoing the things that makes sense for me,
that fit my lifestyle, that likeI fit into a wellness category or
you know when I talked about it'snot gonna be weird, right, something
that's like you're passionate about it.And it's similar in radio two, like
(39:00):
we do on air endorsements, right, So like within my show, like
if you're listening to the radio andyou hear me talk about something, it's
like usually something that is like we'reallowed to say no, you know what
I mean. So it's just likeI feel like a lot of people when
they listen to the radio, theythink, oh, they just got paid
to say that, and it's justlike, we did get paid to say
that, but we are allowed tosay no to things, and I think
(39:21):
that's one of the cool things.But I mean, I'll tell you there
are radio people that will say yesto everything. They don't care what it
is. They're like, you're gonnapay me to talk about I'm gonna talk
about it, which I feel likeis one of those things where it's like
you really do lose your authenticity becauseit's like do you want me to actually
engage with this brand or are youjust collecting a paycheck? But which is
such a hard thing too, becauseit's like, like you said, this
(39:43):
is your full time job if there'sno money coming in, Yeah, it's
hard to say no to stuff.But I feel like you're so good at
like thank you it a lot likeyou're it never feels icky, like you
know, you follow some people andyou're like it's huge, but yeah,
yeah, I was trialed by airhonestly, So if you're if someone's out
there, you know, I've beenthere, done that, and don't do
(40:06):
it bad idea really not great fornot great for your career, but I
mean I've been there. Yeah,you live in I think there's a lot
of things in life too that II mean, off top of on topic,
like I've been so afraid to failthat I just didn't do these things
right, and so I think itis so great to be like, wow,
I did that and I made amistake and like I learned from it,
(40:28):
because if I didn't learn from it, where would I be you know,
yeah, I remember like the firsttime I was like when was it
like twenty fourteen? A friend hada boutique and she was like, can
you take this um you're going toI was going to Costa Rica for a
spring break. Can you take thispost picture for it? On? I
felt so weird, hated it.I was like I'm not a sellout.
(40:49):
I don't want to do this,blah blah blahlah blah. Like now I'm
like, oh I did that allthe time. I got all the time.
But it was like it's either thatcould have been my fete, my
whole life could have been like Idon't want to do that. I'm like
feel awkward. I don't want mycollege friends to think I'm weird. I
don't want people to think I'm sellingit, but I don't want people to
think like I'm ach or cringe.Yeah, And instead I went full three
sixty, which I mean eighty,which was not a great way, but
(41:13):
like it at least like you failand you make mistakes instead of sitting in
that safe box. And I feellike that's a lot of ways how the
world sucks sometimes because everybody wants topoint out your mistakes. But it's like,
if you don't make a mistake,you're not going to learn from it.
And it's like you can look atother people's mistakes and try to learn
from it, but until you sitin it, it's such a different feeling
(41:35):
than to say, oh, wellthey did that, let me try this.
But it's like when you when youfail at something, or you make
a mistake at something, per sethat the way that you recover from that
and you learn from it, likethat is like priceless. Yeah, I
feel like being friends with you,I've learned that a lot because of your
favorite quote or the advice that yourboss gave you fail harder, you have
to. I think about that allthe time because of you. Yeah.
(41:58):
No, I am afraid. Iwant to be perfect. I want to
be seeing a certain way and Iwant I don't want to make mistakes.
They're not fun, no, butthey're human. Yeah. Like listen,
we're not robot Yeah, we're notrobots. Like we're not. We are
never going to be perfect. Andlike you said earlier, like we can
work on ourselves, but we're notgoing to be perfect. Nobody is ever
going to be perfect except for you. Lord, You're listening except for you.
(42:22):
Um, but it's so important toremember, like, failing is not
the end all be all, Likeof failing doesn't put a period on whatever
you're working on. It's a commaand you learn from it and you just
keep going and you keep climbing thestairs, you keep trying to get to
the top. But yeah, failureis such a key part of success.
(42:42):
I think, Yeah, appreciate you. You know, I got you.
I got you boo. I'm likethe annoying positive friend. I always tell
people that I'm like, I'm thatannoying positive friend that's like, don't worry,
I've got a quote that's gonna makeyour day. Okay, we're getting
ready to wrap up. But ifthere is one little piece of advice you
could give to somebody who is maybean influencer listening, maybe they are wanting
(43:07):
to do influencing, they're not surewhat to do, Like, what would
you say, is something that helpedyou in the beginning, Maybe advice that
you wish you would have gotten whenyou were just starting skhammer on Instagram.
I think the biggest thing that I'venoticed working with a lot of influencers and
being in the space is you cannotforget how valuable in person relationships are.
(43:28):
Yeah, and how people feel whenthey're around you is huge. And being
able to carry on a conversation withsomeone that's been my biggest thing. And
I think that I get it becauseit's hard to do that when you can
sit in your corner in your roomand talk to your phone all day and
you have thousands of people who arethere listening and engaging and making you feel
(43:50):
special, but there nothing will comparewith face to face interaction, kindness,
communication. Yeah, and just don'tforget that. Yeah, having community is
really everything. And it's like havingthose people in your life that's like,
hey, come over, Hey,let's go do something. Hey we got
to hang out because it's just likeI for one after COVID, especially like
(44:14):
I'm such a hermit, Like Ilove staying home now and I'm like,
no, yeah, it's hard.It's not who we're meant to be.
We're meant to be around humans.And like I have always thrived, Like
I'm always the girl that like lightsat the room, I'm always walking around,
but but after COVID, my husbandwill call me out about it.
He is like your light is dimming, Like you've got to get that back.
(44:35):
You've got to get around people becausethat's where you thrive and it's important,
Like you said, those in personrelationships. You can talk to your
phone all day, but that phoneis not going to talk back to you
might in a text message, butthere's something different about making eye contact with
somebody and like actually feeling that emotion. It just it just feels good.
You know, it's really good.It does, even if it takes a
(44:55):
little bit more effort to get there. Total is I get that. Yeah,
listen, we all love a nightand sweatpants with no makeup on.
Those are our favorites. Order somepizza, work on our eating wellness.
Yeah. Okay, So to wrapup, I have this little gumball machine
I'm excited for where these are justkind of like random questions that every guest
(45:17):
that comes in gets to add tothe to the question. So let's see
what we got here. I ampretty nervous, but we got this.
Okay. This is from Callie Hardy, Callie be good. She says,
if you had to marry any TVcharacter, who would it be? Top
of my head? Tom Hanks.Okay, have you guys seen the new
(45:39):
Auto movie? No, is itso good? I watched on the plane
to Israel, and I always dothis. I always watch sad movies.
Were you sobbing on the plane likelike like like wiping it on the seat.
I'm like, dut, like Ifeel like Tom Hanks would be a
really good husband, wouldn't you justbe like, I don't know? The
movie was so sweet and I know, I mean I I don't really know
(46:00):
a law about his personal you know, I don't know who he is as
a person, but I do knowlike the characters that he plays. I'm
like he'd make a great father,you know, like have some good advising
nurturing. Yea, yeah, probablywould like treat me kindly. So that
that became out of the top ofmy head. All right, Tom,
you know I might come back.I might comment on this later and be
(46:22):
like a sexy honk you know she'sa I'm gonna change my hands or to
thor obviously I'll work on my Okay, that's another day another talking. Honestly,
though, this is like, inthe last two weeks, my whole
perspective on like men in dating hasshifted, and it's so weird. I'm
like wanted like twenty three to twentyseven. I want like the hot young
(46:44):
whatever, and I think maybe,you know, just the woman in me
is coming out like he'd make agreat father. Oh that's he's so sweet.
Oh we could like sit on theporch together. Isn't that funny?
How your like perspective changes like thatso quick? So quick. I'm like
in the fact that I like noticedit like night and day. I'm like,
whoa, something happened. Listen.My husband is four years younger than
(47:07):
me. That's so I'm a coupe. That is one has been my type
forever. Yes, just a littlebit younger. And you're just like,
I know more than you, butlike un full of life. Yes,
like you know, and they're like, you're so cool. Eska is single,
So if any guys are listening,or you have any single guy friends
that are amazing, just let usknow. Expectations are really high. So
(47:30):
well, let's end on a littlea little shoopy shoop hey. Eskay Hammer
on Instagram if you want to followher, I love you, I love you.
Stage. Welcome to the backstage withYou're all access passed to music City,
where nothing is off limits. Graba drink, let's go backstage. Welcome
to another episode. I'm so excitedabout this. Hold on, let me
get you here. Let me cuteyour walkout music. Y'all. Welcome Eska
(00:24):
Hammer to the studio. That actuallysounded really good. I was like,
Eskay, what is what's your favoritesong? And she hit me with a
shoot. I was like, oh, she does, what's a shoop man?
Yeah? Salt and Peppa. Iknow it just it just took me
a minute. But I'm not I'mnot a good dancer. So I'm like,
shoot, shoot, that's it.Yeah, okay, It's like was
(00:45):
that actually good though? Yeah?Some castor and so funny. I literally
texted Eska and I was like,you want to be on my podcast?
She was like, okay, Iwould love to. I said I would
be honored. Honored. Yeah,I threw out honored she did. She
threw out the honored friend card.Yeah, but I seriously, I'm so
excited to talk to you about lifein general. Backstage with Brooke really just
(01:07):
kind of embodies backstage, behind thescenes kind of vibe and everybody thinks you
know music industry, but in Nashvillespecifically, I feel like you've made this
mark as like a Nashville influencer obviously, like across the US too, like
you travel a ton and you justwent to Israel, which we're going to
talk about that, but I justI want to dive into like influencer life
(01:30):
because I feel like a lot ofpeople they see Instagram or TikTok or whatever
social media outlet that people use,and that's what they think, oh my
gosh, that's so awesome, butthey don't get to see literal blood,
sweat and tears that goes into beingan influencer. It's a full time job.
So I'm excited to talk about this. So first your story. You
(01:51):
went to college and then you decidedto go get your masters, and I
just tell me this story on howI mean, I know the story,
worry, but everybody else doesn't knowthe story about how sk decided you were
going to move across the country andyou're going to take a leap of faith
and how you know sk Hammer onInstagram was born. Yeah, okay,
(02:13):
let's let's roll it back, rollit back, honey. Yes, So
I did. I went to theUniversity of Utah for undergrad and while there,
I just was overly involved. Youwould say, um, was in
every club organization, like really tryto get my hands in everything and do
(02:34):
it all. Um that is mypersonality. That was my personality. And
from there I developed this love forcollege. Listen, it's there's it's it's
a real thing. Though. It'slike, I mean college is fun.
Yeah, yeah, it was likeyou know, it's like glory days,
like you find yourself, you becomewho you're you know, maybe going to
(02:55):
become. And it was a greatexperience. And because I was so involved
on campus, I really wanted togo into this career that's called student Affairs
essentials like everything I was doing inschool, but like as an advisor,
So like why wouldn't you want todo that? You know, throw parties,
(03:16):
work in greek life, student government, like you know, it's just
it was right up my alley andI was like, that's what I'm gonna
do. But it took me along time to get there. Because I
graduated with a degree in exercise sportsscience. I was gonna do personal training
or medical field. And I graduatedfrom undergrad and honestly, there was a
(03:39):
lot of imposter syndrome with that,and I was like, oh, I
need to look a certain way beforeI can start training people right, And
like, with that expectation on me, it hindered my ability to adequately help
other people help myself. And soI had a job just like a regular
(04:01):
best job in my life. Myjob after college was so great. I
was like an executive assistance. Iwas just gonna say, what was it.
I loved it. I loved it. I did not foresee myself getting
that job, but I had likea sorority sister, like an older one,
like hit me up and be like, do you know anyone that's graduating
looking for a job? Me like, hello, that's me. Yes,
(04:23):
it's me, Hello, Hi.And I got into this job that was
really it was a good learning likea good learning step. And it was
kind of like the my parents sawit and they glorified it because my parents
come from the age of you geta job, you stick with it,
good benefits, good pay. Theytreat you right like somewhere where you're going
(04:44):
to retire. Yeah, this isyour end all be all. And every
time I would talk about my job, like this is awesome, like you
have it so good, like thisis so great. So then that compared
to what I do now, theydon't understand. Yeah, they do not
understand at all. U. Sothat's like very interesting to have that conversation
with them. And I'm sure alot of people also are on the same
page of like what is this jobthat you do and how are you doing
(05:08):
it? Totally. So while Iwas in this job between undergrad grad I
fell in love as some do,yeah, and dated this guy. We
dated like long distance for a while, and he was living in San Francisco,
and so as I'm like in thisjob that you know, it's a
great job, but it's really justlike clocking clock out, don't have to
(05:31):
think about it totally, don't knowwhere it's going, don't think it's my
passion. Like, Okay, I'mthinking about going back to school. He's
in San Francisco, so I'm lookingat schools in northern California in the city,
and we get to a place where, Okay, tuition is gonna be
really expensive if I try to dothat because out Yeah, So I'm like,
(05:51):
okay, I'm gonna live there fora while, get in state tuition
we'll do our thing. So weweren't going to live together. We I
found a place like in the cityin San Francisco, really good rent,
like really good friend. I'll tellyou it was nine I was just gonna
say, really good right. Iwas like, it's gonna be under a
thousand. It was nine hundred dollarsin San Francisco. Literal dream come true,
(06:15):
like right now, you know.It literally was like blessings. It
was like I was like, Okay, I want to pursue a relationship with
this man and I want to takethat next step, and like, okay,
what can I do? And soI found a place to live easy,
found a job, easy, likeinterviewed, got it, and it
got to the place where I wasso excited. I was like, everything's
working out. This is gonna begreat. I'm gonna move to San Francisco
(06:39):
and I'm gonna date this man thatI love and then we're gonna get married.
Yeah. And I tell him andI did not get the reaction that
I expected. Did he not knowthat you were? I think he knew
we were talking about it, youknow, I just don't know if he
thought I was actually making moves oractually taking it serious or like would actually
(07:00):
be able to find a place tolive or find a job, like I
think that he was just like youknow, keeping the pace, like yeah
yeah, and like you know,looking back, there's a lot of things
that I should have known, Likeit was his idea, like we should
date closer to each other before wetalk about marriage totally. So I'm like,
okay, let me get my bag, right, cool, Like that's
(07:23):
the stipulation, let's do it.Yeah, And then um I tell him
and he looks at me and hegoes, you can't afford that. That
was his reaction, Like you can'tafford that period? Excuse sir? What?
Like that was just I just Iwas like, okay, interesting and
I was like, cars, howI can make it work? Blah blah
blah. He goes on a boystrip that weekend, comes home and dumps
me. Boys trips. So youhad already did you had signed a lease
(07:46):
already, You hadn't signed papers,hadn't signed anything, which was great,
which was it was hard. Itdefinitely was hard, and it was I
mean, it was right, youknow what I mean. I don't want
to chase someone that doesn't want tomarry me, Like I don't even one
day someone that listen. I wasjust talking with somebody about this about how
like these memes go around social mediaright now, where it's like if somebody
wants to be around you, they'regoing to text you back, you know
(08:09):
what I mean. Like these girlsthat are like, oh, they're just
playing a game and they're you know, they're playing coy. They're like they're
playing and I'm like, no,if he wanted to text you, he
would text you already, you knowwhat I mean. So like to sit
on you for having that perspective,because a lot of people don't. They
might have tried to stay. Yeah, And it was I mean, it
really opened up an opportunity. Andthis is where we get to Clemson because
(08:31):
I was really just location bound andthen I took it as this like okay,
open it up. I applied everywhere. I interviewed everywhere, and it
was great because this job that Iloved and I have so much respect for,
and you know, they shape alot of who I am. They
were open, they were like,we'll take care of all your things.
You go as many interviews as youneed to go on is like much time
(08:52):
as you need off, Like weacknowledge that this is the next step in
your career and we support you.Yeah, so of course I took advantage
of that. I was like,where can I go? Like I was
gone every month for interview weekends andit was so fun. But Clemson was
my first interview weekend and I didn'tknow about it. A small town in
(09:13):
the South, you know, Iwent to school in South Carolina as a
trust I know. I was like, okay, whatever I have. I
have University of Southern California and NYU, I have Vanderbilt. I'm like,
whatever, this is a fun littleI'm getting away right weekend ended up Clemson's
where I went. And a bigpart of that decision was money. They
(09:33):
are awesome. They provide They providedme a full tuition, housing, food,
like amazing. Where do I sign? Yeah? I was like,
hey, no, that's a no, totally yeah. And I think that
it was a it was a reallyhard time in my life. And I
think a big part of why itwas a hard time is like I didn't
involve God in that decision. Yeah. I think that I was feeling types
(09:56):
of ways after my college boyfriend andI broke up in and I was like,
oh, set of this for thisnext guy, and I ended up
fall in love with him wanting tomarry him, and then yeah, he
also breaks up with me, andso I'm like, God, do you
want my back? Like, I'lldo this on my own totally. I
mean, listen, we all getthere at those points in our lives where
we're like I know better than youdo, and you'll always look back and
be like, hey, sorry,yeah you know exactly. But yeah,
(10:20):
and so it was. It was. I was wrestling with a lot of
changes at that time. It ismy first time living outside of you tame,
my first time experiencing anything that waslike different from the culture and the
people that I grew up with.Yeah, but ten out of ten recommend
Yeah, you gotta go through helltoo, you know, go, you
gotta go get sing it if you'regoing. If you're going through it,
(10:41):
keep on moving, don't slow down. If you're moving, you might get
out before the dell even knows you'rethere. I think we are available to
be signed. Yeah, I'm like, we're going to get a contract.
We could just be called bk newBee. Okay, let's go heck yeah,
(11:03):
I um, I just I loveyour how you started off saying I
mean not love, but you knowwhat I'm saying, Like when you were
talking about imposter syndrome and how thatcan be such a thing. I had
no idea that you studied exercise science. Funny story about me. This is
a little fun fact about BT thatyou might not know. I was an
exercise science major before. Like assoon as I got to college, I
(11:26):
was, yeah, I want tobe an athletic trainer. This is what
I want to do. Makes sense. You were athletes. I played volleyball
in college. That was my wholething. I showed up to my first
anatomy class and they gave us thelike quiz in the beginning, and they
were like, if you do badon this, you could you should consider
dropping this course. Literally got threequestions right three. I was like this
saying for me. I like lookedat the professor and I was just like,
can I be excused? Like thisis not for me? And our
(11:50):
school was like known for like theirnursing program and stuff, so they were
just like on everything, but that'sa hard major too, like succeed in
Yeah, So I mean what Iknow, I had no idea. I
mean, yeah, I was prettypretty good at academics. That's like exercise
science. Man. I just Italk for a living, Okay, So
(12:13):
I feel like my brain's like thissmall sometimes compared to people. But um,
the imposter syndrome of like not feelinglike you're good enough to do something
that you're good at, it's sucha real thing nowadays, it is,
and I feel like it definitely likeHindsights twenty twenty, right, but like
it definitely did hold me back,and like if I could go talk to
(12:33):
my younger self and be like,hey, that doesn't matter, and especially
like in ten years, like peoplelike that's what people actually want. Like
people want someone who's relatable, wholooks like them, who can offer advice
and like have similar Like I've beenthrough that, here's what I do.
Yeah, so I wish I definitelylike it is. It is hard,
(12:54):
Like we all go through it totally, and I mean even nowadays, Like
I know that we've talked offline aboutcertain things, but like the imposter syndrome
nowadays when it comes to social media, and I mean doing it for a
living, I mean you've got togo through that a lot. Oh yeah,
every day every day, I'm likeup and up and down up and
down like oh I love this,this is so great. I'm doing so
(13:15):
great, and then I need toquit, Like what is this? I
can't keep up? Like I'm notgood enough. I'm not you know,
trendy enough, artistic enough, prettyenough, cool enough. I don't know.
Yeah, there's all the enough everythingyou can think of well, and
it's just like, you know,everything is based on your value of how
many likes you have, how manyfollowers you have, how many you know,
if you have a blue check mark, if you're you know, if
(13:39):
you've gone viral, if whatever,blah blah blah. But people don't see
They see all of that stuff thinkingthat it just comes as it comes right,
but they don't see the literal likecrazy hours that you work. Yeah,
like I mean taking taking for example, say you have to edit a
video. How long does it takeyou to edit one? Sixteen second?
(14:00):
And it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing howlong it takes me? Like our minimum
depending if I want to like justdo my normal you know practice, you
know, you practice, you learnyour craft, your skill totally. If
if I'm trying to do anything that'slike a little bit out of my comfort
zone, trying to do something newand creative. Yeah, I'm like,
it takes a really long time,and it's it's definitely commendable too, because
(14:22):
editing is a hard thing to dofirst and foremost, but then also like
editing and then posting, and thenyou know, searching and seeking out brand
deals and things like that. Ithink a lot of people don't understand like
what it takes to I say,what it takes, but like, what
is like a day day in thelife of an influencer, like a full
time influencer. That's what you dofor your full time job. Take us
(14:43):
through a normal day, Like whatit looks like my day? Wake up,
take my wellness walk. We cantalk more about that later. This
girl, but wake up. Iwake up like six, so I'm like,
she's up. I'm up. We'retrying to get stuff done. Walk,
work out, breakfast, get onthe computer. It's like emails,
editing, engaging, following up,giving insights like brand seed insights. You
(15:07):
have to go back through and getall your insights, and then making sure
you have your cover photo right andlike lined up and that looks good on
your feed. And then okay,we're looking at what's trending on TikTok.
Right, now, Okay, howdo I create this? Like then you
are googling it and trying to likerecreate it and then negotiating with brands and
then not only that, but likeokay, yeah, normal day to day
(15:28):
things, right, But then thepart for me is like I stand up
for my computer, work's not done, Like I always have my phone in
my hand. I'm always thinking like, Okay, this could be like a
really pretty picture, this could makea cool reel, or I need to
like film part of this because thatone day sometime maybe I'm gonna need a
clip of this. And then andso instead of being like present with my
friends, I'm like, okay,I like picture, or I'm like thinking
(15:50):
the back of my head, likeif I do intentionally try to be present,
that's when I'm mostly like, oh, like I want to get I
want to get my camera out,like I really want to like I want
to capture this. I want tocapture this feeling that I'm feeling right now,
this experience, and I want toshare that because it is either you
know, aspirational, inspirational, it'smeaningful to me, and I just want
to like put myself out there orsomeone else could get something from this,
(16:11):
and so it's like constantly always running, you know, I'm doing it until
I go to bed at night,and not truly ever getting a break too.
And I think that's what I've noticedand like learned from you as a
friend. By the way, asK and I met through Instagram too.
By the way, our Instagram wewe had a mutual friend I don't even
(16:33):
remember how, but then we justInstagram and we went to Saint and Najo
our first date. That was ourfirst date. We were there for hours,
we were there for so long,we talked for so long, talking
about our lives and just hanging andwe just literally hit it off and have
been friends ever since. So that'sa that's a gist of our friendship and
how that began. But it was, you know, it was a little
(16:55):
Instagram friendship and then we were like, let's hang out. So we hung
out and here we are. Butjust knowing you and knowing that you just
never like mentally get a break.Yeah, I always empathize so much with
you and your job and like whatyou do because you truly can never turn
off, which is not a badthing. It's not I'm not saying that
that's a bad thing. But forthe backstage quote unquote purpose of like who
(17:15):
you are and like your job,like you go on vacation and you've got
to document it or you have tohave you know, outfits planned for brand
collaborations and like listen, ladies likeor gentleman. If she's not posting,
she's not making money. And that'sthe that's the beauty of all of this,
you know, the beauty of thebusiness. Is like my parents drive
(17:36):
a semi truck for a living,and if they're not driving, if they're
not moving, they're not making money. And that's just like how they're like
job works. So it's just likeit's so interesting to me for other people
to like talk about like their jobsand like how it works, because I
don't think people truly get it.They're like, oh, it must be
nice to just be able to siton your phone all day, and it's
like, actually, it must benice to actually not have your phone all
day. You know, it mustbe nice to leave your phone at home.
(18:00):
That's like, right, I wishI could. Let's circle back to
your wellness walks. I love thisand this is one of my favorite things
that you do because it truly helpsme want to like get out and like
take a walk because mental health,wellness, physical wellness, emotional wellness,
spiritual illness. You're like the wellnessgirly in my life and I always love
seeing you take your wellness walks becauseyou truly it's not just something you post
(18:22):
about. I feel like there area lot of influencers that like they'll post
about something, but it's not reallywho they are. You truly do take
a wellness walk every single night.What inspired you to like want to do
that or like, how did thewellness walks start for you? Um?
Okay, So when I moved toNashville, so I've been here for three
years. I moved during COVID itwas July twenty twenty. Loved being here.
(18:48):
I felt like I didn't know ifit was forever, and I was
wrestling with a lot of things oflike now I'm trying to do influencing full
time. I'm still not back inUtah with my friends and family. I
just graduated from grad school, likethat was halted in the middle of my
program and then just like hey,good job, you have your degree,
Like goodbye. So weird. Yeah, such a strange time. So and
(19:12):
then like like I said, likefrom moving from Utah, having those two
years in grad school of like selfreflection and evaluation, which it really wasn't
because I was just masking everything.I like adopted some really unhealthy lifestyle habits
during that time. That was reallyI didn't really know how to cope with
(19:33):
what I was feeling, and Ididn't really want to address it, and
I really was just doing everything Icould to avoid Yeah, my best,
my favorite coping mechanisms avoidance. Butthen when I when I looked at it,
and I was like very very verydepressed, like not okay, not
wanting to be here, didn't reallysee my value of like you know,
(19:56):
I'm like I'm not even with likefamily, like I left Utah on no
one checks in and I'm just hereand I'm alone. And I just felt
like I was like grappling for friendshipsand like pulling and trying so hard,
and that's that's not the way toget friendships, you know. But like
it just was like as trying todo things and I was doing it,
oh in a way that was moreharmful than helpful. And it finally got
(20:18):
to a place where I was likeI need something's got to change, something's
got to give, And like Iwas just drinking a lot and like really
like it would cause me to beeven more depressed. And I just would
get in like phases and just getangry and not want, not be happy
with who I was or what Iwas doing. And so I took a
couple months and I just basically tryingto do seventy five heard Have you heard
(20:41):
of that? Yeah? Yeah,So like there's all these lists of things
to do when you do seventy fiveheart, and one of them is like
a forty five minute workout outside.So I started going to walks and I
would do this every day. Andwhat I realized and I talked to a
friend. His name's Doug Cartwright.We knew each other in college and he's
written a book and I've read hisbook, and he came to Nashville and
like we met but the rooftop atLosers and I'm like in this, like
(21:03):
you know, I'm in this phaseof my life that I'm just like going
all out and you know, tryingto avoid and I meet this friend who,
like I was a soft I wasa freshman in college, and he
was like this cool older classman,like, yeah, this guy that was
like he's so cool and cute,and like I cannot like, I just
thought he was so cool. Andthen the fact that like what ten years
later, he's like, hey,I'm a Nashville, let's meet up.
Talk to me. How like hislife has changed. He's going through this
(21:26):
like spiritual wellness whatever. Yeah,And so it was I think it was
something in either his book or somethinghe said that was like that time without
your phone, that time just tobe alone. And so I took that
as a challenge. And so myroutine is I wake up and I just
got outside. I mean, Ihad my phone with me for safety.
It's still on sleep mode do notdisturb, and I try really hard not
(21:48):
to look at it. And Ifeel like when I feel like I'm doing
good, I'm like on my phone, you know. Yeah. But you
know, when I really try totake the time to be intentional about that
walk, I'm going to tell youthe first couple of months it was so
hard. Yeah, because I hadto actually think, there's no music,
no podcast, nothing, I hadto think I had to be alone with
(22:10):
my thoughts. Right. That's andI mean, listen, that is a
loud place to be. Yeah,yeah, and it was hard, Like
there are times I feel like Icouldn't even get through my walk without being
like it's too much, it's toomuch, and just that routine and like
really really reflecting and really being like, Okay, this is not who I
want to be. What do Iwant to be? How do I want
to become that person? What needsto change? What am I not going
(22:33):
to give up? What can Iand like how am I really feeling started
going therapy. I'm not lying whenI say the Wellness Walk has changed,
like saved my life. Like Ido not know where I would be if
I did not start this practice ofjust before I look at my phone,
before I get into emails, beforeI check notifications, before anything gets in
my brain that can derail me orlike distract me. I'm outside, I'm
(22:56):
in nature, I'm in silence.Can't like I can't speak enough about it,
like I recommend it to everyone.I might not be the first thing
you do in the morning, butjust like because like like you said,
like I'm always on, always thinkingabout things and so and I you know,
as you can maybe now know likeI do that because I'm hurting you
know, I'm trying to avoid rightlike the other situations and I so I'm
(23:18):
constantly working. Yeah, and soI've really had to learn to take time
be still. That sucks, butit's amazing. I mean, listen,
and I you're dedicated to it.Like when I tell you, Eska,
we'll go out in the pouring rainif it's cold, It like it doesn't
matter. She is suited up,she is geared up, ready to go
in her wellness walks. And it'sit's such an inspiring thing for not just
(23:41):
me, but so many of yourfollowers do their wellness walks and they'll like
tag you, And I know thatthat means so much to you because it's
such a therapy thing for you andto be able to like feel like that
you're helping somebody else and it's justlike, listen, if you help one
other person, that is like sopriceless. And I know that that means
so much to you. So Ijust know that those wellness walks might seem
(24:03):
like a mundane or just something that'sjust a part of your life, but
you even just posting about them orlike they're they're changing people's lives. And
how it saved yours. Like,I'm sure that there's people who haven't tagged
you in a video or something.There's probably people out there that are like
their wellness walks have saved their livestoo, So like it's really important to
make sure that you know that you'remaking a difference, whether or not you
(24:25):
feel like you are. I knowfor a fact, because it's helped me
and like my journey of like wantingto be you know a little more a
little more move like do not alittle moment, yeah, a little more
movement during the day, even ifit's just like ten minutes, Like it
is such a game changer. Andlike you said, not being on your
phone, because it's so easy tojust like take a walk, but you've
(24:45):
got a podcast on or music on, or somebody texts you and it's just
like then you're right back into itall. But when you just fully disconnect
and she will like you are alwayson do not disturb mode in the morning
if I text you, I'm like, oh, she's on our walk,
she's out, she's doing something.But I think that's such a cool thing
that you've implemented and that you've kindof taken into other places in your life.
(25:07):
Like you're my wellness girl. Likeanytime that I go to SK's Instagram,
I know that there's something going on, whether it's like your emotional wellness,
your mental health, whether it's yourspiritual wellness like in our Bible study
and things like that. I justI love that you are not only helping
to like work on yourself, butlike you're working on other people too.
And like I said, I knowthat you are. You're in it,
(25:30):
so you see it right here,but like from a like a bigger,
like broader perspective lens, like you'rehelping so many people. And I hope
you know that because I know thatI can get very like you know,
oh, this is just my job. Yeah. No, I appreciate you
saying that, because even as Ipromote wellness, I have those moments I
mean mostly all the time, butthose moments of imposter syndrome still, especially
(25:51):
with like the whole that girl wellnesstrend. Yeah, I have literally had
close friends be like you do that? How are you wellness? Like this
isn't very wellness of you? Like, yeah, you don't look a certain
way. I'm like I'm on theIsrael trip and like this girl was like
literally ask me, like, howdo you promote wellness when you like are
also eating and drinking and like thesize that you are, Like somebody said
(26:15):
that to your face. Yes,what we've been drinking so okay, but
like it I think actually, likeso I do get the imposter syndrome in
that, but it gives me away to explain exactly why I do this.
It's because I do it for theeveryday girl, like the girl or
man or person that is like,you know, I don't have time for
(26:36):
that. It's not my vibe.Like I love my diet cokes. I
love this, I love doing livingwith friends like great. Yes, I'm
not doing this to like change,you know, Like I don't know.
I just feel like there's so muchapplause given to like huge transformations or like
super super strict, dedicated routines,and I just want to show that there's
a way to implement if it's justone, if it's just one element of
(26:59):
wellness every day, whether that's itcould be social social wellness, like you
and I getting together one thing everyday, and like ways to do it
in a way that like you don'tfeel like you have to end your whole
life, which I feel like asas I go on and as people go
on, these things are like thesethings fuel the soul totally. So you're
going to do more and more everyday and then you are going to have
(27:21):
those transformations, but you're going todo it in a way that's not self
like decriminating and like like self sabotaging. Well, and I so as K
and I work out with the samepersonal trainer, So Jamie shout out to
Jamie and good Life Training and welove you so much. But um,
I think it's such a cool thingbecause I started working out with Jamie because
(27:41):
I saw you posting about it andI was just like, oh, I'm
gonna hit him up and see,like what this is all about. But
Jamie is all about and I thinkthis is why I love you so much,
is because he's all about like it'slife's about balance, right, Like
if you want to get taco bell, you can get taco bell and not
feel bad about it because that's justlike a part of life. And if
it's a part of your life,He's going to shift and make sure that,
(28:03):
like we stay in a calorie deficitto make sure that we're still like
on track for our goals. Soit's just like give and take here and
there in different places in your life. And I think that's so like normal
about any type of wellness, right, Like you don't have to be a
bodybuilder and not eat cheeseburgers ever againto like be healthy, you know what
I mean? And for someone tosay that about you, it's just like
(28:26):
you're healthy and my body in whatway? You know what I mean?
Like I don't have to weigh onehundred and fifty pounds and be a size
you know, seven or whatever tolike be healthy or whatever it is.
And I just I hate that societyhas told us that we're supposed to look
a certain way because I mean,you know, in my postpartum journey and
like what I've been going through andjust like feeling different about my like my
(28:48):
body's different. Like I went frombeing like a size ten twelve to like
now I'm a fourteen sixteen and likewearing baggy clothes because I'm ashamed of my
body, which is like why,you know, It's just like why are
we ashamed of what we look like? Because who told us that it was
we're supposed to look a certain way. Because there's so many people that are
that smaller size that are not healthy, emotionally not healthy, spiritually not healthy,
(29:15):
like you know if socially. Yeah, there's just so many. It's
just like pick your heart, right, Like pick which wellness area is going
to be your hard one, Likeit could be physical, it could be
emotional, whatever. But everybody doesn'tlook the same. And I think that's
what's so great about the world isthat we can all be different, but
we can all like be nice toeach other. Yeah. I don't like
how so many people are just somean all the time, especially on social
(29:40):
media, Like I can't believe thatgirls said that's your face. Yeah,
I mean. It's the thing aboutit is it doesn't phase me because it's
more often than not that the questionscome, you know, and I'm so
happy to answer them because I getit. Like we are taught that in
what we see is like wellness isABC. You know, in a lot
times we think wellness, we thinkphysical. I think physical wellness. That's
(30:03):
what we think. And so itis great that it opens up a conversation
totally, Like at least I feellike I've gotten to a place where I
can look back at you know,college grad sk and be like, no,
you can be a trainer if that'swhat you want, you can.
And so like, now that Isee that, I can say I'm I
have that confidence in myself to belike no, I I am passionate about
(30:26):
this and it is something I knowand it is something I care about and
I can still do it without beingperfect. Right. I love that.
Yeah, you can literally accomplish somethingwithout being perfect. Yeah. And another
another plug. So I while ingrad school, I actually create a curriculum
for first year students around the eightelements of wellness. So like, I
(30:48):
know what I'm I know what I'mtalking about. Like, let me show
you. She's like, let meget out my guide. Okay, okay,
we have we have a degree toback up. I'm not just sitting
on, you know, on Instagramsaying you should you should ask homegirl for
her her email address and send hera PDF file. And I'm like,
here's my biby bliography or my researchand work I've done. Oh my gosh,
(31:10):
that is seriously, that's that that'sepic. Have you ever thought about,
like, if you decided not todo influencing again, would you want
to go back and be in physicaltherapy or do something with that that degree.
Um, yeah, yeah I thinkI would. I definitely enjoid it
and inflection. She's like, okay, yeah, as much as like we're
sitting here like influencers like this,I'm like, man, I love it.
(31:34):
Yeah, I love it so much, even when I hate it.
Yeah, you're just you're good atit. I just it's just, you
know, the biggest thing for meis like, no, I haven't asked
someone for time off. That's huge. I mean that's like real, that's
so real though. Yeah, likeI will just ask myself for time off
and one hundred year it is.But no, I do think that I
(31:56):
would not be able to be inthis position. I do not have that
bone in my body that a lotof really great entrepreneurs have of like I'm
going for I'm risking it. Likethere's a lot of me that is very
safe and very rational. I wantto make the best decision. I weigh
all my options, so I knowthat I could not fully engage in this
job if I didn't have my degreestotally, because I know if something happens,
(32:21):
I have degrees and I can goget a job. But like I
really admire like you know that.It's a huge part of like what gets
people going is like, hey,I don't have anything else, Like I
gotta I gotta make this happen,right, So yeah, I think,
like I think there's always possibility,and I didn't want to keep that open
because who knows what's going to happenwith totally. If you're hiring for a
(32:44):
personal or a physical therapist or somethinglater in life, maybe Eska will be
the guy or the girl that youyou run to keep it to keep it
open, I'll send you her emailaddress. So when it comes to like
influencing though, has there ever beena part of you, it's ever just
like I'm done. I want toquit, Like I can't do this anymore.
Yeah. Back in twenty nineteen,my account got hacked. Oh god,
(33:06):
I don't know those I got hacked, And like there was a moment
I was like, wow, likeif I'm just what if I just like
don't get it back, what ifI just like you know what I mean,
There was that moment I was like, Wow, this could be totally
this could be my way out.Yeah, Like I found a way out
because let me tell you, I'vebeen doing this since the app opened,
(33:28):
Like I feel like it was liketwenty ten. I signed up, got
my user name, Like we're postingpics. We're trying to, you know,
did the whole thing. College travelafter call like always, I was
like Instagram girl, like, hereto my DSLR. You know. It
was like what I was known for. It was rough out in the streets
back in the day when you hadthe like the you had to have an
external camera like you had the digitalcamera, you had to upload it.
(33:50):
It was it was a grind youdid that. Yeah, I'm like at
frat parties, I'm like, yes, Solar, let's go. I don't
know how they let me in.In college, I didn't drink, so
I was like just this like I'mthe sober counselor with like and I'm thinking
like dsl or photos of like peopledoing things they probably never want to like
relive, like did you destroy thosememory? Honestly though, it's so funny.
(34:14):
One of my best friends from collegeis like so mad at me because
I really I was like I photographedeverything, like I was documenting it all
like for everyone, Like there wasone point every single fraternity story like open
house video was all my photos.Wow, Like everyone, Like I just
did it all and not like becauseit was a job, but I just
always had my cameras, right,Like, do you have this anyway?
(34:36):
We got I my computer got full. You know this, we're all dealing
with like full storage things. Yes, my computer got full, my college
computer, and like all my stuffwas on it, and you can't upload
the there's like new like what Idon't know what's it called, Like it's
from version one point out a versionone. Oh yeah, you can't upgrade
it. You can't update update itif you don't have any storage. So
(35:00):
all that stuff is on this mycollege computer. And I'm like, one
day I'll be a millionaire and beable to pay someone who like knows computers
get all that stuff off. Butall the time, she always messaged to
me, she's like, I'm somad, so mad at you because lost
all those memories. Oh man,so yeah, she's mad. I'm mad.
But probably the peoples, you know, are like so happy. And
(35:20):
there's people are running for president twentyyears that you have pictures of them doing
keg stands in college. Oh man, yeah, you're definitely gonna want to
pay somebody to get those pictures off. That gonna be good, make my
money back. Influencing is such aI feel like, strange topic for some
people. I feel like kind ofuncomfortable. Yeah, and like peoplefortable people
(35:43):
are aged. I feel like getit yeah for the most part. But
like you said earlier, how likehaving those conversations with like your parents,
like they don't get it. Yeah, those conversations are weird. They're so
weird. So my parents literally didn'tunderstand what I was doing ever, and
they don't follow me because I don'tlet them. I mean, but so
(36:06):
they really don't get it, likethey don't see it whatever. But I
guess um who wasn't like Rachel Parcel. She's a Utah girl. She was
on like the local news. They'relike, oh, that's what our daughter
does, got it? And thenthey like we're able to figure out because
there was like some special to talkabout. I mean, I'm Noel.
I am not even I'm not tryingto compare myself to her at all.
(36:27):
Like I'm not even on that levellike this girl she's got it. But
what I'm saying is my parents werelike, oh, okay, yeah,
I still get texts like good youneed to move home, Like how are
you making red. They're just likethey're they're just let me do my thing.
But I like the way I tryto ascribe it to people who don't
get it that are a little older. I'm like, basically, it's like
me making a commercial for someone.Yeah, so it's like a commercial that
(36:51):
you'd see on TV. It's justnow that you see it on social media.
But it's like, from your perspective, it's not just actors. It's
like, but like you're literally playingthe actor in the in the ad or
the commercial or whatever it is,and like that's all it is. That
makes so much sense. Yeah,so maybe try like I'm just I'm just
(37:12):
an actor and a commercial, anactor and a commercial every single day.
Some of my followers are like,yeah, you are one of the things
that I love talking about too,which I know that you're very particular with
who you work with, but thereare so many influencers. I feel like
that just say yes to everything.Oh let me tell you a story,
Okay, let's hear it. Forabout two years, two years one year.
(37:36):
So when I went to grad school, I was like, I told
you, it was not happy,it was not whatever. Right, I
had a ton of credit card Ihad sixty thousand dollars of credit card debt
when I went to grad school,which is why obviously I made the decision
to go to the free grad school. Totally um, but that was me.
I was like, I wasn't Iwasn't comfortable with how I looked,
how my body had changed. Iwasn't comfortable with, um, what I
was doing. I told you,I was making like life choices that were
(37:59):
not in line with my value andwere not what I have ever experienced before.
So I just posted ads and Iwas that girl. I was like,
yes everything. I was like,for a free little container of deodorant,
I'm like, I will smile andhold that deodorant. I love it.
I will, you know, everythingI can get for, which sucked
because I mean it was great.I got out of debt, so grateful
(38:20):
for that. I'm grateful for theopportunities that taught me a lot about negotiations
and country blah blah blah. ButI really was when I left Utah,
I was like on that cusp oflike I could name I could drop names
like of all these like huge influencers, and I was like right there with
them. And then you lose allyour authenticity, you lose it and I
did. I lost it and I'vebeen working to bring it back. But
(38:40):
I was doing everything I could,everything I could, which is why now
I am so adamant about like I'mdoing the things that makes sense for me,
that fit my lifestyle, that likeI fit into a wellness category or
you know when I talked about it'snot gonna be weird, right, something
that's like you're passionate about it.And it's similar in radio two, like
(39:00):
we do on air endorsements, right, So like within my show, like
if you're listening to the radio andyou hear me talk about something, it's
like usually something that is like we'reallowed to say no, you know what
I mean. So it's just likeI feel like a lot of people when
they listen to the radio, theythink, oh, they just got paid
to say that, and it's justlike, we did get paid to say
that, but we are allowed tosay no to things, and I think
(39:21):
that's one of the cool things.But I mean, I'll tell you there
are radio people that will say yesto everything. They don't care what it
is. They're like, you're gonnapay me to talk about I'm gonna talk
about it, which I feel likeis one of those things where it's like
you really do lose your authenticity becauseit's like do you want me to actually
engage with this brand or are youjust collecting a paycheck? But which is
such a hard thing too, becauseit's like, like you said, this
(39:43):
is your full time job if there'sno money coming in, Yeah, it's
hard to say no to stuff.But I feel like you're so good at
like thank you it a lot likeyou're it never feels icky, like you
know, you follow some people andyou're like it's huge, but yeah,
yeah, I was trialed by airhonestly, So if you're if someone's out
there, you know, I've beenthere, done that, and don't do
(40:06):
it bad idea really not great fornot great for your career, but I
mean I've been there. Yeah,you live in I think there's a lot
of things in life too that II mean, off top of on topic,
like I've been so afraid to failthat I just didn't do these things
right, and so I think itis so great to be like, wow,
I did that and I made amistake and like I learned from it,
(40:28):
because if I didn't learn from it, where would I be you know,
yeah, I remember like the firsttime I was like when was it
like twenty fourteen? A friend hada boutique and she was like, can
you take this um you're going toI was going to Costa Rica for a
spring break. Can you take thispost picture for it? On? I
felt so weird, hated it.I was like I'm not a sellout.
(40:49):
I don't want to do this,blah blah blahlah blah. Like now I'm
like, oh I did that allthe time. I got all the time.
But it was like it's either thatcould have been my fete, my
whole life could have been like Idon't want to do that. I'm like
feel awkward. I don't want mycollege friends to think I'm weird. I
don't want people to think I'm sellingit, but I don't want people to
think like I'm ach or cringe.Yeah, And instead I went full three
sixty, which I mean eighty,which was not a great way, but
(41:13):
like it at least like you failand you make mistakes instead of sitting in
that safe box. And I feellike that's a lot of ways how the
world sucks sometimes because everybody wants topoint out your mistakes. But it's like,
if you don't make a mistake,you're not going to learn from it.
And it's like you can look atother people's mistakes and try to learn
from it, but until you sitin it, it's such a different feeling
(41:35):
than to say, oh, wellthey did that, let me try this.
But it's like when you when youfail at something, or you make
a mistake at something, per sethat the way that you recover from that
and you learn from it, likethat is like priceless. Yeah, I
feel like being friends with you,I've learned that a lot because of your
favorite quote or the advice that yourboss gave you fail harder, you have
to. I think about that allthe time because of you. Yeah.
(41:58):
No, I am afraid. Iwant to be perfect. I want to
be seeing a certain way and Iwant I don't want to make mistakes.
They're not fun, no, butthey're human. Yeah. Like listen,
we're not robot Yeah, we're notrobots. Like we're not. We are
never going to be perfect. Andlike you said earlier, like we can
work on ourselves, but we're notgoing to be perfect. Nobody is ever
going to be perfect except for you. Lord, You're listening except for you.
(42:22):
Um, but it's so important toremember, like, failing is not
the end all be all, Likeof failing doesn't put a period on whatever
you're working on. It's a commaand you learn from it and you just
keep going and you keep climbing thestairs, you keep trying to get to
the top. But yeah, failureis such a key part of success.
(42:42):
I think, Yeah, appreciate you. You know, I got you.
I got you boo. I'm likethe annoying positive friend. I always tell
people that I'm like, I'm thatannoying positive friend that's like, don't worry,
I've got a quote that's gonna makeyour day. Okay, we're getting
ready to wrap up. But ifthere is one little piece of advice you
could give to somebody who is maybean influencer listening, maybe they are wanting
(43:07):
to do influencing, they're not surewhat to do, Like, what would
you say, is something that helpedyou in the beginning, Maybe advice that
you wish you would have gotten whenyou were just starting skhammer on Instagram.
I think the biggest thing that I'venoticed working with a lot of influencers and
being in the space is you cannotforget how valuable in person relationships are.
(43:28):
Yeah, and how people feel whenthey're around you is huge. And being
able to carry on a conversation withsomeone that's been my biggest thing. And
I think that I get it becauseit's hard to do that when you can
sit in your corner in your roomand talk to your phone all day and
you have thousands of people who arethere listening and engaging and making you feel
(43:50):
special, but there nothing will comparewith face to face interaction, kindness,
communication. Yeah, and just don'tforget that. Yeah, having community is
really everything. And it's like havingthose people in your life that's like,
hey, come over, Hey,let's go do something. Hey we got
to hang out because it's just likeI for one after COVID, especially like
(44:14):
I'm such a hermit, Like Ilove staying home now and I'm like,
no, yeah, it's hard.It's not who we're meant to be.
We're meant to be around humans.And like I have always thrived, Like
I'm always the girl that like lightsat the room, I'm always walking around,
but but after COVID, my husbandwill call me out about it.
He is like your light is dimming, Like you've got to get that back.
(44:35):
You've got to get around people becausethat's where you thrive and it's important,
Like you said, those in personrelationships. You can talk to your
phone all day, but that phoneis not going to talk back to you
might in a text message, butthere's something different about making eye contact with
somebody and like actually feeling that emotion. It just it just feels good.
You know, it's really good.It does, even if it takes a
(44:55):
little bit more effort to get there. Total is I get that. Yeah,
listen, we all love a nightand sweatpants with no makeup on.
Those are our favorites. Order somepizza, work on our eating wellness.
Yeah. Okay, So to wrapup, I have this little gumball machine
I'm excited for where these are justkind of like random questions that every guest
(45:17):
that comes in gets to add tothe to the question. So let's see
what we got here. I ampretty nervous, but we got this.
Okay. This is from Callie Hardy, Callie be good. She says,
if you had to marry any TVcharacter, who would it be? Top
of my head? Tom Hanks.Okay, have you guys seen the new
(45:39):
Auto movie? No, is itso good? I watched on the plane
to Israel, and I always dothis. I always watch sad movies.
Were you sobbing on the plane likelike like like wiping it on the seat.
I'm like, dut, like Ifeel like Tom Hanks would be a
really good husband, wouldn't you justbe like, I don't know? The
movie was so sweet and I know, I mean I I don't really know
(46:00):
a law about his personal you know, I don't know who he is as
a person, but I do knowlike the characters that he plays. I'm
like he'd make a great father,you know, like have some good advising
nurturing. Yea, yeah, probablywould like treat me kindly. So that
that became out of the top ofmy head. All right, Tom,
you know I might come back.I might comment on this later and be
(46:22):
like a sexy honk you know she'sa I'm gonna change my hands or to
thor obviously I'll work on my Okay, that's another day another talking. Honestly,
though, this is like, inthe last two weeks, my whole
perspective on like men in dating hasshifted, and it's so weird. I'm
like wanted like twenty three to twentyseven. I want like the hot young
(46:44):
whatever, and I think maybe,you know, just the woman in me
is coming out like he'd make agreat father. Oh that's he's so sweet.
Oh we could like sit on theporch together. Isn't that funny?
How your like perspective changes like thatso quick? So quick. I'm like
in the fact that I like noticedit like night and day. I'm like,
whoa, something happened. Listen.My husband is four years younger than
(47:07):
me. That's so I'm a coupe. That is one has been my type
forever. Yes, just a littlebit younger. And you're just like,
I know more than you, butlike un full of life. Yes,
like you know, and they're like, you're so cool. Eska is single,
So if any guys are listening,or you have any single guy friends
that are amazing, just let usknow. Expectations are really high. So
(47:30):
well, let's end on a littlea little shoopy shoop hey. Eskay Hammer
on Instagram if you want to followher, I love you, I love you.
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