Pillow Talks

Pillow Talks

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Episodes

E277: How to Take Your Orgasm to the Next Level with the Four Orgasm Amplifiers

September 10, 2026 • 52 mins
Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again. What if that wasn't luck? In this episode, you'll hear: Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets The four thing...
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E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years)

September 3, 2026 • 49 mins
At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort. So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other fart and floss, and nothing seems to happen on its own anymore? In this episode, you'll hear: Why nothing sexy happens spontaneously after about six months, and what has to replace it The thing you have to clear out of the way before you can build desire at all ...
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E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers

August 27, 2026 • 50 mins
It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee. In this episode, you'll hear: Can you ask your partner to start initiating again after you spent years shutting them down? A monthly quota for sex: reasonable or red flag? Oral every single time: too much to ask or not a big deal? The blowjob stereotype...
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E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This

August 20, 2026 • 66 mins
We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including one accusation we still can't believe we had to respond to. In this episode, you'll hear: The one line in that reel that set the whole thing off The accusation that hurt more than anything we've ever been called onlin...
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E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood

August 13, 2026 • 60 mins
This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pillow trick that changes everything, plus how many positions you actually need for great sex. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: 🛏️ How to introduce new positions when you've been together forever ⭐ The most underrated positio...
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E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off

August 6, 2026 • 57 mins
It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences, fantasies, the death grip, and how to give better feedback in bed. Plus, we’re giving you questions to share with your partner to help you get on the same page and build your goals for your sex life! 💛 In this episode, you'll hear:  🔥 Do men ac...
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E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed

July 30, 2026 • 50 mins
You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list. We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop controlling, lose yourself. But 80% of you tell us that you struggle to actually do that. So we're saying something a little controversial this week: "just let go" might be the worst sex advice out there. Listen in to learn what actually helps you feel prese...
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E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates

July 23, 2026 • 56 mins
We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners. This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent relationship killers that chip away at intimacy, plus the small shifts that bring you back to each other. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: The full D.R.I.F.T. Framework and why that 67% roommate stat lands so hard for so many couples 📱 How the average person's 144...
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E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs

July 16, 2026 • 61 mins
Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀 We asked our community to send us the disagreements they just can’t seem to settle with their partner, and today we’re weighing in as your official referees. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: 💋 Is oral foreplay or the main event? 🐾 If the pe...
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E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments

July 9, 2026 • 66 mins
It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions! This one really pulls back the curtain on us as a couple. Ready for honest reactions, beyond real talk, and more than a little oversharing? 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Whether we've ever set foot in a swingers or sex club If we’re starting an Only Fans Is it weird that...
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E267: The Hygiene Episode

July 2, 2026 • 55 mins
Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that? This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex questions one by one. Nobody taught us how to actually take care of our bodies for sex. Not our parents, not health class, not anyone. And so we've been left to piece it together ourselves, often while carrying a whole lot of shame that doesn't belong to us. That's exactly what t...
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E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

June 25, 2026 • 60 mins
You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them as we can, with real answers, tips, and stories. No question is too awkward, too niche, or too "is it too late to ask this at my age?" 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: What "tossed salad" actually means, because it's never ...
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E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

June 18, 2026 • 56 mins
Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated. We're back with Part 3 of Is This Cheating?, weighing in on your trickiest, most "wait, is that okay?" scenarios. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Why every couple has to define cheating for themselves, and the talks most people skip Real listener dilemmas...
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E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

June 11, 2026 • 65 mins
So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Whether women actually want a "book boyfriend," or if that fantasy is better left on the page? The real deal on mental load: is it running in the background every single day? C...
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E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

June 4, 2026 • 56 mins
When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Most long-term couples slowly drift from enjoying each other to managing life together, and fun is usually the first thing to quietly disappear. In this episode, we're talking about why couples lose the fun, why it matters way more th...
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E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

May 28, 2026 • 67 mins
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves novelty, the other finds comfort in what already works. Here's the thing: it's probably not about compatibility. It's about your sex personality types. In this episode, we walk you through all five types, what drives each one, the superp...
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E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

May 21, 2026 • 58 mins
The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the moment when things aren't going as planned, how to keep your sex life feeling connected and fun even when performance issues are in the mix, and how both partners can show up for each other without making everything weird. 💛 In th...
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E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

May 14, 2026 • 65 mins
For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complicated, too demanding, or just... less important. But here's what we want you to hear: that's NOT true. In this episode, we reframe the whole conversation, asking what it would look like if women approached their own pleasure with t...
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E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

May 7, 2026 • 63 mins
This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we asked our community to help us show up for you in a big way. In this episode, we're reading real responses from real parents — practical, doable ideas and a little tough love for making intimacy a priority again, even with kids in the house. 💛 In this episode, yo...
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E258: Weed, Alcohol, and Sex: What's Actually Happening to Your Body and Desire

April 30, 2026 • 64 mins
Whether it's a glass of wine to take the edge off or a gummy to get out of your head, a lot of people use substances to feel more relaxed, more connected, or more in the mood. But there's a lot more happening under the surface than most people realize. In this episode, we're pulling back the sheets on how alcohol and marijuana actually affect desire, arousal, communication, and orgasm — including some real talk from our own...
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