Ridiculous Crime

If we say casino heist, you probably think Ocean's 11, 12, 13... Maybe Ocean's 8... Or the original Sinatra Rat Pack version. Look, we all do. This week, Elizabeth has got way more real life stories of international casino heists and robberies –– it's a Vegas buffet of crime!

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The fictional character Raffles established the public's notion of a gentleman thief. But what of the ladies? Josephine O'Dare and Amélie Condemine took the Raffles playbook and blazed their way through European society, lightening wallets and lifting gems. Whether they only made 72 cents on the dollar compared to male thieves remains unknown. 

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Nic Cage is a mixed bag of nuts. But Patricia Arquette is also no slouch when it comes to being, um, unique. Now imagine the two of them together –– young and in love. Well, you don't have to because it already happened! Zaron has the goods on the Love Quest that she sent him on to prove his. And things, of course, get criminally ridiculous!

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Charles Ponzi didn't invent the Ponzi scheme. No, two women pioneered the con on both sides of the Atlantic decades before Ponzi struck. Remember folks, if returns on your investments seem too good to be true, they totally are.

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In 2015, a convention descended on the Seattle–Tacoma Airport Hilton Hotel. The 3-day gathering of Furries was meant to be a fun place to let your fur down... but some let the fur go too low. Public nudity, diaper fights, drugs, booze, cops, firefighters, ambulances, emergency plumbers –– this story has everything. And then some! 

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A guy born in Italy moves to France and says he's the heir to the throne in Constantinople, then he heads to the United States to peddle fake titles. You know what that is? Ridiculous. 

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Paratrooper Jeff Manchester used his skills to burgle Corporate America as The Roofman. First, he'd focused on McDonalds and other fast food. Then, like a criminal butterfly, he morphed into a Toys 'R' Us Man who built a secret apartment in an open store –– it was the ultimate inside job. 

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Jack Shepherd was a petty, pretty thief. He wasn't very good at it, so he got caught a lot. And he escaped a lot. Just like Henry More Smith. He, too, couldn't stop stealing and couldn't stop freeing himself from prison life. These guys prove that you can't keep a good (well, at least non-violent) man down.

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He is an icon of midcentury America. He's cherubic. He's beloved. He's starred in Hollywood movies. And he's often stolen as a prank, but sometimes things turn darker –– but they always stay ridiculous.

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If you have psychic powers, you should see a scam coming a mile away. Not so for Maria Duval. The French psychic only wanted to use her powers for good, but three shady dealers used her name to create one of the world’s longest-running cons. Just because a letter has a coffee stain on it doesn't mean it's real. 

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Elizabeth may not watch tv, but that doesn't stop her from regaling Zaron with tales of television signal hijacking. From porn to zombies to aliens to more porn, no broadcast is safe.

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In the early '90s, the Chicagoland area was home to a bank robber known for wearing very specific masks –– masks of former US presidents. Notably, he wasn't inspired by the classic bank-robbing surfers film, and Point Break wasn't inspired by him, it was all just a...ridiculous crime.

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With debt mounting and no relief in sight, John Darwin figured his only option was to fake his own death. One sunken kayak and a complicit spouse later, he found himself in Panama with no clothes on. But that didn't last. Nothing ridiculous ever does. 

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Musicians get arrested... a lot. These singers, songwriters and superstars were busted in some of the dumbest, weirdest, silliest ways possible. Johnny Cash. Amy Winehouse. Ol' Dirty Bastard. Bob Dylan. Frank Zappa. All of them got popped for some... ridiculous crimes.

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As if the whole cryptocurrency thing wasn't ridiculous enough, enter Heather Morgan aka Razzlekhan. An entrepreneur and amateur rapper, she and her husband, Dutch, lived large. The source? Hacked bitcoin. Can't get enough of these clowns and their techno criming? Fear not, there are plenty of film and tv adaptations in the works. The grift lives on. 

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"Have you seen this man? Single, lonely, grouchy, rumpled and very possibly. the richest thief who ever lived..." so wrote the Washington Post in 1997 after one man ripped off his employer, the Loomis–Fargo armored car company. Phil Johnson stole 21 cubic feet of cash –– and he had a plan to get away with it. But a man's ego is a helluva thing!

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