DELILAH DILEMMAS: Help me out here...

Trying to lend and ear and a bit of advice. ~ Delilah

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called

(00:24):
a Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you
call me with yours situation and I try to help
you come up with the right solution. Today, we're going
to listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Shannon. Shannon writes to me, I
started talking with Ray over a year ago, and many

(00:48):
things have happened that have caused us to be a part.
I've never actually met him, but I feel that Ray
is my soulmate. I was expecting him to visit this weekend,
but another situation equation is happening and he is enabled
to be here. I've done my research and I believe
the reasons are true. Delilah. I have been an only

(01:08):
parent for twenty years, had not dated before Ray, and
now I am facing waiting even longer for him. I
feel a connection with him that I've never felt with
another human being. I've continued meeting other men, but truly,
I'm not interested in them. I haven't been close to
a man for seventeen years. I've been busy raising my daughter.
I'm entering my fifties. I don't want to waste any

(01:30):
more time. But if I could have a few wonderful
years with him, then I feel the weight would have
been worth it. I'm so confused, and yes, I am heartbroken.
He won't be at the airport tomorrow as he had promised.
When is the right time to give up? For the record,
I'm not a quitter, and unfortunately I am loyal to
a fault. Please give me some of your wonderful insight.

(01:51):
Thank you from Sharon. Sharon, I will have my words
of love for you, my words of insight for you.
Coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Sharon, who
met a man not face to face, hasn't met him
face to face, but has been corresponding with him. I'm

(02:14):
guessing over the internet, Sharon for over a year and
just has not had the chance to meet him yet.
And here's what I would say, Sharon, if a man
is in love with you and is worthy of your
time and energy, he will find his way to you,
no matter what. He will take a plane, he will
take a train, he will paddle a boat to get

(02:37):
to you. If he wants to be with you, he
would do whatever it took to make a way to
meet you. So if this is the first time that
your plans have fallen through, then I would say give
him another chance. But if it happens again, I would
say there's something fishy going on. I'm talking about there,

(03:00):
there's another person in his life, or something is just
not right. If he wants to be with you, Shannon,
he will move heaven and earth to come to meet you,
to hold you in his arms, to look in your eyes,
and to start planning his life with you. And if
he is not that excited to be with you that

(03:20):
he would move heaven and earth to be with you,
then you need to move on down the road because
there's something he's not being fully disclosing about. Good luck, Shannon.
You sound like such a sweetheart. Get the book Act
like a Lady, Think like a Man by my friend
Steve Harvey. Came out several years ago, but it's such

(03:41):
a good book, and that'll give you a pretty clear
view into the way that men think about you know,
the women they want to love. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from Christine, who says, Delilah, my husband passed away two

(04:01):
years ago. He was fifty eight. I am fifty three.
I had a first date three weeks ago, but I
asked him out. I guess it was mutual. We've been
texting and talking via the phone, and when I see
him at work, he works in a different department and
I don't see him every day. He is on the
shy side, and I am too. Our first date was

(04:23):
pizza and beer, and we both had a good time.
But he has not asked me back out, and I
want a second date. I am very anxious, but I'm
trying to be patient. I forgot what it was like
to go out with guy. Now I've had this taste
of fun and I can't seem to stop thinking about him.

(04:44):
What should I do? From Christine, I'll have my words
for you coming up next. Christine. If your heart is
ready to love again and to open up, and you

(05:04):
feel you've healed from the loss of your husband, then
good for you. But do not put too much energy
into somebody who's not pursuing you. If this man is
interested in you, even if he's shy. If he's interested
and wants to date you, he will let you know.

(05:26):
In the meantime. The more involved you get with life,
the more involved you get with outside activities or a
church group or a club or exercise group, the more
people you will meet, and the more opportunities you will
have to meet like minded men who are also single.

(05:46):
Good luck and God bless you. Hayden writes Haydenlilah, I
have a dilemma. One of my very close friends has
suddenly stop talking to me anymore, and I can't think
of anything I might have done to cause this to happen.
It feels like they've been avoiding me in public when

(06:08):
I see him, and is very dismissive when I talk
to him. How do I get to the bottom of
this issue If he won't even talk to me, I
miss my friend. Do you have any advice, Delilah? Thanks
so much from Hayden Hayden, I will share my words
for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Hayden,

(06:36):
whose friend has stopped talking, stop being emotionally available, even
going so far as to avoid them in public places. Hayden,
there is nothing you can do. I know you miss
your friend, but if your friend has turned frigid, their
heart has grown cold, and they're not even willing to
tell you why, there's nothing you can do when somebody

(07:02):
attacks you with silence. I know that sounds odd, but
I learned years ago in a support group that I
was in that silence is violent when someone you love
doesn't even respect you enough to tell you what you
have done wrong so you can make amends. If you

(07:23):
have no clue and they're just shutting their heart and
walking away, there's nothing you can do. You can beg,
you can plead, you can say, talk to me, please
let me know. I'll make amends, I'll do whatever. But
if their love for you has grown cold, there's nothing

(07:45):
you can do but to love them and let them
go and pray that one day they'll miss you enough
and love you enough and respect you enough to open
up and say, Okay, here's that's why, here's why I
can't be your friend, Or here's what you've done to

(08:06):
offend me, here's what happened, Here's here's the delio. Or
maybe maybe it's something so far out of your control
that you just there's nothing you can say or do,
but right now, all you can do is respect them
enough to know that if they want to talk to you,

(08:28):
they'll come around in their time, And until then, you've
got to fill your heart and your time with other
people who do want to be connected to you. I
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah