July 2, 2024 • 13 mins
Spending time or energy wishing you'd taken a different path only steals your joy! ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Let me see a show of hands, raise your hand.
If you are somebody who spends time thinking about what
could have been, what might have been, what should have been,
stop stop doing that. It's not going to fix anything.
In fact, try to remove these phrases from your vocabulary
(00:38):
would have been, could have been, should have been, because
it's not what is. What is what is, and spending
one ounce of energy wishing that you had taken a
different path will only steal your joy. It's one thing
to look back on the past and re member with fondness.
(01:01):
Great trips, great times, great experiences. That's awesome. Cherish those memories.
Or to look back on the path and say, you
know what, I made some bad choices there. I don't
want to do that again. But looking back going oh,
if only I had done this, I could have gone
to school, I could have been something great. If only
I'd married Joe instead of Steve in my life with
(01:24):
blah blah blah, stop that. You are right where you
are and there is no going back. There is no
would have been, could have been, should have been?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Stop wasting your energy looking at the ghost of a
direction your life did not take. Instead, look at where
you are and all the opportunities that are in front
of you. God has a plan for your life. Look
forward and see where this wonderful life is going, and
(01:54):
stop doing the would have been, could have been, should
have been?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Okay, let go of that ghost of the direction your
life never took.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Hi, good evening, you've called the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Hi do I love?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
My name's Al hi Al? What can I do to
make your night, your spring, summer night, summer night a
little more special?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, I'm calling just to I guess was married for
twenty three years, knew the person for twenty eight got
divorced back in twenty eighteen. Still she's we have two
kids together and kind of just recently found out that
she is to somebody asked her to marry her. I
(02:39):
was hoping and always tried to work things out with her,
but unfortunately, I guess I was not necessarily something she
wanted to come back to, so got divorced and tried
working at it. Yeah, we both heard each other and
I guess I'm just looking to maybe be heard or
I haven't really discussed it with anybody, so I'm not
(03:01):
sure how I feel. I guess kind of hurt.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
But wait, wait, wait, you've been divorced since twenty eighteen,
so I'm not great at math. But that's like six years, right,
and all this time you've been holding out hope that
she would come back or let you back in her heart. Right, dude,
that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
And again, for the most part, we've been in each
other's lives because of our kids, and at times I
would get the vibeer thinking that she was going to
come back or she wanted to be one of me
back around, but never really said anything. She's become the
person that doesn't share feelings, and it just struck me.
(03:41):
I never heard it from her. I still haven't heard
it from her that she's getting married or somebody who's
asked her to marry her. To my understanding, I don't
even know too much about this guy for the most part,
met him recently in November because he came over. My
son graduated from major university, daughter graduated from high school.
This man they both kind of had back to back
(04:05):
graduations and he's been there in the picture, and it
just caught me off off guard.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So did you ever during the past six years say
to your ex, I still love you. I want to
make this work. I want to Okay, it's not that
you didn't communicate it, it's that she doesn't feel the
same way.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Probably, Yeah, So I just wanted to ask you to
play a nice song.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No, what you want is you want to figure out
how the heck you're going to close that chapter when
you still love her so much. That's what you want. Probably, yeah,
because I can hear that you love her as much
as you ever have. Right, I'm sorry holding out hope
for somebody, especially when you had life and children together
(04:54):
and plans and hopes and dreams, and and you're like,
how did you just like how did you just stop? Like,
I don't get it right, been there done that? Only mine?
Would you know, throw a carrot out every few months
and I would go running back and you know, spend
(05:16):
the night and didn't realize, Oh, that's what that was. Huh,
that's all that was.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I wish I was that lucky. We were brought together
as a family. I thought we were gonna come together,
walked in Paris after right after midnight, and hoping things
would work out, but didn't really get a vibe. So
(05:47):
but maybe I didn't try. Maybe it's my fault for
it not be more focal at that time.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You know what this tells me? This tells me that
whoever is meant to spend the rest of your life
with you is going to be one hello over a
woman because you are such a sweetheart, You have such
a good heart and such a good soul. And the
fact that you have been loving this woman this completely
without her participating, tells me that you are going to
(06:17):
be gifted blessed with a woman who will love you
so much it's just going to blow your.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Mind, that's hope.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It's going to make you uncomfortable because you aren't going
to know how to receive that at first. But I
suspect it's going to be awesome.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Let's help you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So you need to have a conversation with your ex
and say, so, is it true you're getting married? Is
it true that you love another and you've moved on?
And if it's not, you need to say I've never
stopped loving you, I've never stopped caring about you. And
if there is any place in your heart that thinks
(06:59):
that we could try again. Please tell me otherwise let
me go.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Well, I think she let me go.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You just didn't get the memo or just refused to
read it.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I got so many mixed signals at times. But she
would have me over. She had an accident. I was
called her and my daughter and came over, tried to
take care of her. After that, she had me helping
around the house. And I've heard that that's a way
for a woman to kind of let you know that
they kind of want you around, made need to. So
(07:35):
maybe again, maybe wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Well, like I said, you sound like a hell of
a good man. What a knucklehead she is?
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Well, maybe I wasn't at the time when we were together.
You know, sometimes those really explosive relationships that are very
deep to be very abrasive at the same.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
You don't sound like you have it in you to
be explosive.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
I've changed, so.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I haven't. I'm still explosive.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I try not to be anyone.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I try, but it doesn't work very well. I do
really well until I'm pissed off right, and then I
don't do so well. Ah. I wish I could give you.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
A big hug.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
It just sounds like such a sweetheart.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Thank you, good luck. I'm going to play a song
just for you.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
All right, thank you.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Hi Jeff, I've been dating this girl now for about
two months. We just recently moved in together, and she
was acting kind of strange. So we finally sat down
and talked about it, and she said she felt a little,
you know, overwhelmed by me being there all the time,
and that she she just needed some space. So we
decided that I would move out my own apartment and
(09:01):
you know, try it for you like that.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So when she's saying I need a little space, what
she's saying is I need a little space away from
you right now because I'm feeling smothered.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
She says she still loves me and she wants to
be with me, but you know, she just we need
to live in our own place. So that's what we decided.
But we're still like going.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
With the relationship.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
But what scares me is I'm just you know, one
hundred percent sure if this is like a slow breakup
or you know, if she's actually being truthful with me.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So it's wisdom on her part to recognize that she's
uncomfortable and to be honest with you, and it's wisdom
on your part to honor that and say, okay, but
you've got, you know, certain fears and doubts, and you're saying,
should I invest any more time in this or should
I move on down the road to life?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You know me well and you want me to give
you some insights.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Yeah, I do know this.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
You're very articulate, and you're willing to communicate and you're
willing to talk through it. So whatever is to happen,
you guys will come to that decision by discontinuing to
be honest and to talk through it. You know, probably
when you're able to let go of expectations, then she'll
have the freedom to figure out what it is that
you know she needs and wants.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Yeah, I totally respect that she did open up to
me and tell me your true feelings. I'm just hoping
it's not leaning towards the ultimative that I don't want
to happen, as us splitting up.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, but you know what that might happen. It happens
in life, and you have to accept that reality. So
there's no guarantees.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
So I should just relax and take life as it
is right now.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Hey, there's a great idea. Yeah, relax, have fun, see
the world, get to know her, and in time God
will reveal what it is you're supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Yeah, I hope. So good luck on good right.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Thank you, Loretta? What can I do for you?
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I just wanted to apologize to my ex husband for
browbeating him for twenty five years and generally being awful.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
For twenty five years. Yeah, you were awful for twenty
five years.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I know, amazing, right. I didn't do it on purpose.
I didn't know I was being awful, but I realize
now things that I did.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay, give me an idea of awful, Loretta.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I mean everything. I told him how to hold a fork,
how to walk, how to talk, how to dress, how
to act, how to wear his.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hair, how to and he obeyed you.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, he did.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
That's pretty awful, I know, unless, of course, he had
really bad hair and didn't.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
No, he didn't.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Actually, I just actually I was trying to make him
acceptable to my.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Family and now he's no longer with you.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
No. I divorced him because I thought he still wasn't
good enough, and I was wrong. I mean, you know,
I can't even I want him to understand that when
I was doing those things, I didn't know how bad
they were. I did what my mother did, what my
grandmother did, what I thought how it supposed to be.
(12:01):
And I don't know why or how he ever put
up with it, or stayed in love with me, or
even tolerated it, how he stayed in the house. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Are you guys in contact at all? Now? Do you
ever speak?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Oh? Yeah, see each other? And I talked to him,
and I mean, we live really far apart.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
And have you told him what you've told me?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And has he accepted your apology?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He's a little leary. Yeah, I could see.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He's like, I'm not going to be like Charlie Brown
and Lucy here. Yeah, ain't pulling that football out on me.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I've tried to explain that to him. I really want
him to know how very very sorry I am, because
he was always good enough. I just want him to
know I appreciate it and I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Find
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Let me see a show of hands, raise your hand.
If you are somebody who spends time thinking about what
could have been, what might have been, what should have been,
stop stop doing that. It's not going to fix anything.
In fact, try to remove these phrases from your vocabulary
(00:38):
would have been, could have been, should have been, because
it's not what is. What is what is, and spending
one ounce of energy wishing that you had taken a
different path will only steal your joy. It's one thing
to look back on the past and re member with fondness.
(01:01):
Great trips, great times, great experiences. That's awesome. Cherish those memories.
Or to look back on the path and say, you
know what, I made some bad choices there. I don't
want to do that again. But looking back going oh,
if only I had done this, I could have gone
to school, I could have been something great. If only
I'd married Joe instead of Steve in my life with
(01:24):
blah blah blah, stop that. You are right where you
are and there is no going back. There is no
would have been, could have been, should have been?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Stop wasting your energy looking at the ghost of a
direction your life did not take. Instead, look at where
you are and all the opportunities that are in front
of you. God has a plan for your life. Look
forward and see where this wonderful life is going, and
(01:54):
stop doing the would have been, could have been, should
have been?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Okay, let go of that ghost of the direction your
life never took.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Hi, good evening, you've called the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Hi do I love?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
My name's Al hi Al? What can I do to
make your night, your spring, summer night, summer night a
little more special?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, I'm calling just to I guess was married for
twenty three years, knew the person for twenty eight got
divorced back in twenty eighteen. Still she's we have two
kids together and kind of just recently found out that
she is to somebody asked her to marry her. I
(02:39):
was hoping and always tried to work things out with her,
but unfortunately, I guess I was not necessarily something she
wanted to come back to, so got divorced and tried
working at it. Yeah, we both heard each other and
I guess I'm just looking to maybe be heard or
I haven't really discussed it with anybody, so I'm not
(03:01):
sure how I feel. I guess kind of hurt.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
But wait, wait, wait, you've been divorced since twenty eighteen,
so I'm not great at math. But that's like six years, right,
and all this time you've been holding out hope that
she would come back or let you back in her heart. Right, dude,
that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
And again, for the most part, we've been in each
other's lives because of our kids, and at times I
would get the vibeer thinking that she was going to
come back or she wanted to be one of me
back around, but never really said anything. She's become the
person that doesn't share feelings, and it just struck me.
(03:41):
I never heard it from her. I still haven't heard
it from her that she's getting married or somebody who's
asked her to marry her. To my understanding, I don't
even know too much about this guy for the most part,
met him recently in November because he came over. My
son graduated from major university, daughter graduated from high school.
This man they both kind of had back to back
(04:05):
graduations and he's been there in the picture, and it
just caught me off off guard.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So did you ever during the past six years say
to your ex, I still love you. I want to
make this work. I want to Okay, it's not that
you didn't communicate it, it's that she doesn't feel the
same way.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Probably, Yeah, So I just wanted to ask you to
play a nice song.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No, what you want is you want to figure out
how the heck you're going to close that chapter when
you still love her so much. That's what you want. Probably, yeah,
because I can hear that you love her as much
as you ever have. Right, I'm sorry holding out hope
for somebody, especially when you had life and children together
(04:54):
and plans and hopes and dreams, and and you're like,
how did you just like how did you just stop? Like,
I don't get it right, been there done that? Only mine?
Would you know, throw a carrot out every few months
and I would go running back and you know, spend
(05:16):
the night and didn't realize, Oh, that's what that was. Huh,
that's all that was.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I wish I was that lucky. We were brought together
as a family. I thought we were gonna come together,
walked in Paris after right after midnight, and hoping things
would work out, but didn't really get a vibe. So
(05:47):
but maybe I didn't try. Maybe it's my fault for
it not be more focal at that time.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You know what this tells me? This tells me that
whoever is meant to spend the rest of your life
with you is going to be one hello over a
woman because you are such a sweetheart, You have such
a good heart and such a good soul. And the
fact that you have been loving this woman this completely
without her participating, tells me that you are going to
(06:17):
be gifted blessed with a woman who will love you
so much it's just going to blow your.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Mind, that's hope.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It's going to make you uncomfortable because you aren't going
to know how to receive that at first. But I
suspect it's going to be awesome.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Let's help you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So you need to have a conversation with your ex
and say, so, is it true you're getting married? Is
it true that you love another and you've moved on?
And if it's not, you need to say I've never
stopped loving you, I've never stopped caring about you. And
if there is any place in your heart that thinks
(06:59):
that we could try again. Please tell me otherwise let
me go.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Well, I think she let me go.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You just didn't get the memo or just refused to
read it.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I got so many mixed signals at times. But she
would have me over. She had an accident. I was
called her and my daughter and came over, tried to
take care of her. After that, she had me helping
around the house. And I've heard that that's a way
for a woman to kind of let you know that
they kind of want you around, made need to. So
(07:35):
maybe again, maybe wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Well, like I said, you sound like a hell of
a good man. What a knucklehead she is?
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Well, maybe I wasn't at the time when we were together.
You know, sometimes those really explosive relationships that are very
deep to be very abrasive at the same.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
You don't sound like you have it in you to
be explosive.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
I've changed, so.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I haven't. I'm still explosive.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I try not to be anyone.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I try, but it doesn't work very well. I do
really well until I'm pissed off right, and then I
don't do so well. Ah. I wish I could give you.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
A big hug.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
It just sounds like such a sweetheart.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Thank you, good luck. I'm going to play a song
just for you.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
All right, thank you.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Hi Jeff, I've been dating this girl now for about
two months. We just recently moved in together, and she
was acting kind of strange. So we finally sat down
and talked about it, and she said she felt a little,
you know, overwhelmed by me being there all the time,
and that she she just needed some space. So we
decided that I would move out my own apartment and
(09:01):
you know, try it for you like that.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So when she's saying I need a little space, what
she's saying is I need a little space away from
you right now because I'm feeling smothered.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
She says she still loves me and she wants to
be with me, but you know, she just we need
to live in our own place. So that's what we decided.
But we're still like going.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
With the relationship.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
But what scares me is I'm just you know, one
hundred percent sure if this is like a slow breakup
or you know, if she's actually being truthful with me.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So it's wisdom on her part to recognize that she's
uncomfortable and to be honest with you, and it's wisdom
on your part to honor that and say, okay, but
you've got, you know, certain fears and doubts, and you're saying,
should I invest any more time in this or should
I move on down the road to life?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You know me well and you want me to give
you some insights.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
Yeah, I do know this.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
You're very articulate, and you're willing to communicate and you're
willing to talk through it. So whatever is to happen,
you guys will come to that decision by discontinuing to
be honest and to talk through it. You know, probably
when you're able to let go of expectations, then she'll
have the freedom to figure out what it is that
you know she needs and wants.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Yeah, I totally respect that she did open up to
me and tell me your true feelings. I'm just hoping
it's not leaning towards the ultimative that I don't want
to happen, as us splitting up.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, but you know what that might happen. It happens
in life, and you have to accept that reality. So
there's no guarantees.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
So I should just relax and take life as it
is right now.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Hey, there's a great idea. Yeah, relax, have fun, see
the world, get to know her, and in time God
will reveal what it is you're supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Yeah, I hope. So good luck on good right.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Thank you, Loretta? What can I do for you?
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I just wanted to apologize to my ex husband for
browbeating him for twenty five years and generally being awful.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
For twenty five years. Yeah, you were awful for twenty
five years.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I know, amazing, right. I didn't do it on purpose.
I didn't know I was being awful, but I realize
now things that I did.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay, give me an idea of awful, Loretta.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I mean everything. I told him how to hold a fork,
how to walk, how to talk, how to dress, how
to act, how to wear his.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hair, how to and he obeyed you.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, he did.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
That's pretty awful, I know, unless, of course, he had
really bad hair and didn't.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
No, he didn't.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Actually, I just actually I was trying to make him
acceptable to my.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Family and now he's no longer with you.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
No. I divorced him because I thought he still wasn't
good enough, and I was wrong. I mean, you know,
I can't even I want him to understand that when
I was doing those things, I didn't know how bad
they were. I did what my mother did, what my
grandmother did, what I thought how it supposed to be.
(12:01):
And I don't know why or how he ever put
up with it, or stayed in love with me, or
even tolerated it, how he stayed in the house. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Are you guys in contact at all? Now? Do you
ever speak?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Oh? Yeah, see each other? And I talked to him,
and I mean, we live really far apart.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
And have you told him what you've told me?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And has he accepted your apology?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He's a little leary. Yeah, I could see.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He's like, I'm not going to be like Charlie Brown
and Lucy here. Yeah, ain't pulling that football out on me.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I've tried to explain that to him. I really want
him to know how very very sorry I am, because
he was always good enough. I just want him to
know I appreciate it and I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Find
Host
Delilah
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Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.