September 4, 2024 • 10 mins
I give out a lot of advice. Is it right? Is it wrong? What do you think? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Carla. She says, my boyfriend and
I have been together for ten years. Ten years. That's
(00:48):
a decade. That's not ten days or ten weeks. That's
a decade. We went out and looked at rings last
Friday and purchased one. When we got home, he looked
at me and said, it's been ten years, and I
know you've been waiting, So will you marry me? He
hands the ring to me and I said, I love you,
And then I told him no because it wasn't a
(01:10):
proper proposal. Until he figures it out, I won't accept it.
Was I wrong to tell him that I feel that
he doesn't know how to ask properly, that it's not meaningful,
torn from Carla. Carla, you're not gonna like my words
coming up next, I think, and a lot of other
people might not either. But I've been around the block
(01:33):
three times, maybe four, and I'm going to share my honest,
Mama Delilah words of acceptance with you. Coming up next,
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Carla, who's been with her
boyfriend for ten years. They went out ring shopping, he
(01:54):
bought it, went home and proposed, and she rejected the proposal,
saying it wasn't a proper propose. Until he figures it out,
I won't accept him. So here's the deal, Carla, if
you've been with him ten years, you know him through
and through. If you've been with this man and loved
him for ten years, you know everything there is to
know about him, and you probably know that he isn't
(02:17):
one to write romance novels or to follow the lines
of your favorite rom com. You said, if he doesn't
ask properly, it's not meaningful. That is a croc of doodoo.
Meaningful isn't writing words in the sky or being on
(02:37):
camera at a game. Meaningful is holding your hair when
you're throwing up in the toilet because you have the
flu or something else. Meaningful is being there when you
are tired and broken. Meaningful as being there when your
mom is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or breast cancer. Meaningful is
being there when you're in the delivery room waiting for
(02:59):
your child to get other, or being there when you
realize you can't have children and you come up with
another plan. Meaningful is being there through the good times
and the bad times in life. It's not a love song.
That's not the way real life works. If this is
a good man, if you are in love with a
(03:19):
good man, a hard working man, a man who is
kind and honest and has integrity, you hit the jackpot, Carla.
And if he can't follow an imaginary script you've written
in hit your head, then that's your problem. And you
are going to be stubborn for what reason. If he
(03:40):
loves you and you alone, and you are rejecting that
proposal because it's not good enough, get rid of the
script you've written in your head and embrace real life.
And please, please, if this man loves you and he's
a good man, make an ends and tell him thank
(04:01):
you for being honest and having integrity, and for loving
you even though you've written this rom com in your mind.
Good luck, God bless you. I hope to hear back
from you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is quite the tangled little mess.
(04:25):
It comes from a listener who says, I found out
my husband was cheating on me last year. He attempted
to fence set and I kicked him out of the
house and told him to go be with his mistress.
That shocked him. He ended up dumping her, begging and
pleading to come home. After a month or so, I
let him come back, although I thought it might be
too soon. I was hardhearted and could not forgive him
(04:49):
for falling in love with another woman, or being torn
as to whether our marriage was worth saving, or mourning
the loss of his mistress. I was resentful. He began
confiding in a friend who was trying to get over
his own wife's affair. Because of all of our pain
and our confiding in one another, we ended up having
(05:10):
our own affair. It didn't take long for my husband
to find out. There was a terrible fight, and I
filed for divorce within days. I was so filled with
shame I could not look at myself in the mirror,
and I ended my affair as well. When my husband
found out I had ended my affair, he asked me
to give our marriage another shot, claiming he still loved me.
(05:33):
I had no real interest in saving our marriage, but
for the sake of our daughter, I figured we should
at least try. He asked me to give it six months,
and I have agreed. We've attended one marriage counseling session
so far, and I can tell he is trying so
hard to save this. I know I've hurt him. I
know I've committed to six months and then reassess where
(05:53):
we are. Do you think, Delilah, a marriage can survive
two affairs? Is our marriage actually worth saving? Please help me?
Jane not my real name. I will have my words
for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from
(06:18):
a woman who caught her husband cheating. She in turn cheated,
and now they are trying to save their relationship and counseling,
and she says, do you think a marriage can survive
two affairs? Of course, I think a marriage can survive
two affairs. I think a marriage can survive multiple affairs.
And deaths, and children that are drug addicted, and all
sorts of things. I have seen marriages survive, amazing, amazing things.
(06:45):
Is our marriage actually worth saving? Why are you asking
me that, Jane? I don't know you. I don't know
your marriage. I don't know anything about your husband, his heart,
or your heart. But I do know that if you
love him, and if he loves you, and if you
had real joy in one another, and if you want
(07:06):
to make it work, you can put it back together.
Nothing is impossible. If you'll pray and ask God to
help you. It'll be impossible on your own, but with
God's help, anything is possible. So you decide if it's
worth saving. You decide if there is still love that
exists between the two of you. You decide how much
(07:28):
effort you want to put into rekindling that flame, and
you decide what will bring joy to you, to your husband,
and to your daughter. Tonight's dilemma is sent to us
by somebody I'm gonna call Danielle. She says, here is
my dilemma. My husband is sixty three and I'll be
(07:50):
sixty next year. We enjoy traveling together. The problem is this,
my husband keeps himself fit, even gloats about exercising at
the gym regularly, and I keep active. But he has
time and energy for his daily gym exercise, but no
time or energy for a romantic life. He says he's
too tired for fun things like dancing or something umspontaneous. Hmmm.
(08:19):
I've always been crazy about my husband, but frankly, he's
become a bore. I come home late for work. He
doesn't even bother to get up from the computer to
say hello. I'm always trying to think of ways to
do nice things for him. I cook him his favorite dinner,
I pick up his favorite cigars, but I don't get
any such delightful surprises in return. Instead, he reminds me
(08:44):
that we will be doing a lot of traveling once
he retires in a few years, as if that promise
of in a few years should sustain me through the
lack of affection. Now, he has regular checkups, so health
is not the issue. I'm starting to get tired of
feeling like I'm married to a very old man. Any
(09:05):
advice would be appreciated. I will have my words for you,
girlfriend coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a
listener who says she feels like she's married to an
old man because Hobby doesn't want to show any spontaneous affection.
(09:31):
Her words, not mine. He's too tired for fun things,
she says, like dancing or whatever. M mm hmmm. So
how to how to get that fire smoldering? Once again?
I'm not really sure. If he has no health issues,
you got to communicate, You got to figure out. You
(09:52):
got to break through and find out what is taking
his attention or his affection. If it's not you, he's
spending time on the computer when you want to be
doing a little dance around the living room, that's not
a good sign. Have you checked on his computer to
(10:12):
see what he's spending time with or who? I don't know.
Maybe our listeners have some suggestions. Go to our Facebook
page and leave your comments for this listener who's a
little perplexed as to why hubby is putting off for
tomorrow what he should be having fun doing today. I
(10:36):
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Carla. She says, my boyfriend and
I have been together for ten years. Ten years. That's
(00:48):
a decade. That's not ten days or ten weeks. That's
a decade. We went out and looked at rings last
Friday and purchased one. When we got home, he looked
at me and said, it's been ten years, and I
know you've been waiting, So will you marry me? He
hands the ring to me and I said, I love you,
And then I told him no because it wasn't a
(01:10):
proper proposal. Until he figures it out, I won't accept it.
Was I wrong to tell him that I feel that
he doesn't know how to ask properly, that it's not meaningful,
torn from Carla. Carla, you're not gonna like my words
coming up next, I think, and a lot of other
people might not either. But I've been around the block
(01:33):
three times, maybe four, and I'm going to share my honest,
Mama Delilah words of acceptance with you. Coming up next,
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Carla, who's been with her
boyfriend for ten years. They went out ring shopping, he
(01:54):
bought it, went home and proposed, and she rejected the proposal,
saying it wasn't a proper propose. Until he figures it out,
I won't accept him. So here's the deal, Carla, if
you've been with him ten years, you know him through
and through. If you've been with this man and loved
him for ten years, you know everything there is to
know about him, and you probably know that he isn't
(02:17):
one to write romance novels or to follow the lines
of your favorite rom com. You said, if he doesn't
ask properly, it's not meaningful. That is a croc of doodoo.
Meaningful isn't writing words in the sky or being on
(02:37):
camera at a game. Meaningful is holding your hair when
you're throwing up in the toilet because you have the
flu or something else. Meaningful is being there when you
are tired and broken. Meaningful as being there when your
mom is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or breast cancer. Meaningful is
being there when you're in the delivery room waiting for
(02:59):
your child to get other, or being there when you
realize you can't have children and you come up with
another plan. Meaningful is being there through the good times
and the bad times in life. It's not a love song.
That's not the way real life works. If this is
a good man, if you are in love with a
(03:19):
good man, a hard working man, a man who is
kind and honest and has integrity, you hit the jackpot, Carla.
And if he can't follow an imaginary script you've written
in hit your head, then that's your problem. And you
are going to be stubborn for what reason. If he
(03:40):
loves you and you alone, and you are rejecting that
proposal because it's not good enough, get rid of the
script you've written in your head and embrace real life.
And please, please, if this man loves you and he's
a good man, make an ends and tell him thank
(04:01):
you for being honest and having integrity, and for loving
you even though you've written this rom com in your mind.
Good luck, God bless you. I hope to hear back
from you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is quite the tangled little mess.
(04:25):
It comes from a listener who says, I found out
my husband was cheating on me last year. He attempted
to fence set and I kicked him out of the
house and told him to go be with his mistress.
That shocked him. He ended up dumping her, begging and
pleading to come home. After a month or so, I
let him come back, although I thought it might be
too soon. I was hardhearted and could not forgive him
(04:49):
for falling in love with another woman, or being torn
as to whether our marriage was worth saving, or mourning
the loss of his mistress. I was resentful. He began
confiding in a friend who was trying to get over
his own wife's affair. Because of all of our pain
and our confiding in one another, we ended up having
(05:10):
our own affair. It didn't take long for my husband
to find out. There was a terrible fight, and I
filed for divorce within days. I was so filled with
shame I could not look at myself in the mirror,
and I ended my affair as well. When my husband
found out I had ended my affair, he asked me
to give our marriage another shot, claiming he still loved me.
(05:33):
I had no real interest in saving our marriage, but
for the sake of our daughter, I figured we should
at least try. He asked me to give it six months,
and I have agreed. We've attended one marriage counseling session
so far, and I can tell he is trying so
hard to save this. I know I've hurt him. I
know I've committed to six months and then reassess where
(05:53):
we are. Do you think, Delilah, a marriage can survive
two affairs? Is our marriage actually worth saving? Please help me?
Jane not my real name. I will have my words
for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from
(06:18):
a woman who caught her husband cheating. She in turn cheated,
and now they are trying to save their relationship and counseling,
and she says, do you think a marriage can survive
two affairs? Of course, I think a marriage can survive
two affairs. I think a marriage can survive multiple affairs.
And deaths, and children that are drug addicted, and all
sorts of things. I have seen marriages survive, amazing, amazing things.
(06:45):
Is our marriage actually worth saving? Why are you asking
me that, Jane? I don't know you. I don't know
your marriage. I don't know anything about your husband, his heart,
or your heart. But I do know that if you
love him, and if he loves you, and if you
had real joy in one another, and if you want
(07:06):
to make it work, you can put it back together.
Nothing is impossible. If you'll pray and ask God to
help you. It'll be impossible on your own, but with
God's help, anything is possible. So you decide if it's
worth saving. You decide if there is still love that
exists between the two of you. You decide how much
(07:28):
effort you want to put into rekindling that flame, and
you decide what will bring joy to you, to your husband,
and to your daughter. Tonight's dilemma is sent to us
by somebody I'm gonna call Danielle. She says, here is
my dilemma. My husband is sixty three and I'll be
(07:50):
sixty next year. We enjoy traveling together. The problem is this,
my husband keeps himself fit, even gloats about exercising at
the gym regularly, and I keep active. But he has
time and energy for his daily gym exercise, but no
time or energy for a romantic life. He says he's
too tired for fun things like dancing or something umspontaneous. Hmmm.
(08:19):
I've always been crazy about my husband, but frankly, he's
become a bore. I come home late for work. He
doesn't even bother to get up from the computer to
say hello. I'm always trying to think of ways to
do nice things for him. I cook him his favorite dinner,
I pick up his favorite cigars, but I don't get
any such delightful surprises in return. Instead, he reminds me
(08:44):
that we will be doing a lot of traveling once
he retires in a few years, as if that promise
of in a few years should sustain me through the
lack of affection. Now, he has regular checkups, so health
is not the issue. I'm starting to get tired of
feeling like I'm married to a very old man. Any
(09:05):
advice would be appreciated. I will have my words for you,
girlfriend coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a
listener who says she feels like she's married to an
old man because Hobby doesn't want to show any spontaneous affection.
(09:31):
Her words, not mine. He's too tired for fun things,
she says, like dancing or whatever. M mm hmmm. So
how to how to get that fire smoldering? Once again?
I'm not really sure. If he has no health issues,
you got to communicate, You got to figure out. You
(09:52):
got to break through and find out what is taking
his attention or his affection. If it's not you, he's
spending time on the computer when you want to be
doing a little dance around the living room, that's not
a good sign. Have you checked on his computer to
(10:12):
see what he's spending time with or who? I don't know.
Maybe our listeners have some suggestions. Go to our Facebook
page and leave your comments for this listener who's a
little perplexed as to why hubby is putting off for
tomorrow what he should be having fun doing today. I
(10:36):
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah
Host
Delilah
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