September 25, 2024 • 10 mins
Offering a hard truth today, with love. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Sharon, who is drowning in debt,
(00:45):
not even her own debt. She says, I was a
single mom for a long time, but now I'm married
to a great guy. But man, he has gotten us
into a lot of debt. He was not in debt
when I married him. I'm trying to get through this,
but I'm not sure how we can. At fifty seven
years old, I did not think I would ever end
up here. I only have about ten years on my
(01:07):
house and it will be paid for. But now there's
all this credit card debt from his business. I'm not
sure what to do anymore, and I'm hoping you have
some advice. He is not a bad person except for
this debt problem and it's making me crazy. Thank you
so much from Sharon, Sharon, I will have my very
blunt mother Delilah words for you and for anyone else
(01:28):
listening with this situation coming up next Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from Sharon, who was single, taken life as it came.
Sounds like she was very successful paying off her house
and now she says, I'm married to a great guy,
(01:50):
but he has gotten us into a lot of debt.
And again at the end she says, he's not a
bad person except for this debt. Sharon. If he's not
a bad person, if he is it's really a great guy,
then he will sit down with you. You will have
an honest and frank discussion, and he will understand that
he does not, in any way, shape or form, have
the right to hurt you with his bad choices. If
(02:13):
he cannot hear that, cannot receive that, cannot respect that,
then guess what, he's not a great guy. Because this
isn't about money, and this isn't about debt. This is
about respect. This is about love. When somebody loves another
person and respects them, they don't do things that hurt
(02:34):
that person. You're paying your house off, which means he's
living with you, right, I mean, I'm guessing you're married.
You're not living in separate places. So you are extremely
responsible financially and he is extremely irresponsible financially. So you
need to set down and you need to say this
(02:56):
has got to stop now. If you are business is
going to continue to put us into debt and is
not making money, then you need to choose another line
of work, or you need to take up a second job.
You need to be responsible for the debt that you
have created. And if he can't receive that and honor
(03:16):
it and do it, then he's not really a great
guy and he doesn't really love you and respect you,
because this issue is far more about love and respect
than about money. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Alexandra, who says,
(03:39):
I don't know what to do and I need some advice.
I have three sons to live in the area. They
live very close to me. However, they don't come and
visit me. When I invite them or call them to
come over, they don't come to help me. They find
excuses not to come or at least I feel like that.
I just remodeled my house and I invited them to
(03:59):
come and see the changes, but no results. One of
them is married and they live close to his mother
in law and they are there most of the time.
My second son just recently called to ask for money
for college. I don't mind helping him, but my heart
is telling me he's using me, and I don't like
that feeling. I was unemployed for two years and none
(04:22):
of them even came to give me a hand. My
heart is broken. I did not raise them like this.
I gave my soul to them as a single parent.
What should I do? From Alex? I will have my
mother Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
(04:50):
dilemma is from Alex. A woman who was a single
mom raised three boys. Now they're grown and on their own,
and none of them seem to have time or energy
to spend with mom. And she's feeling kind of bitter,
kind of hurt, kind of neglected. And I would too, Alex,
But here's what I would say to you. You are
(05:11):
going to have to build a life where your needs
are met by other people, not by your sons, because
your sons have flown the coup, and they've moved on
with their lives and their wives and their college and
their careers, and for whatever reason, they're not recognizing the
sacrifices you made to raise them. But there are so
(05:37):
many people in this world, Alex, that would love to
have a good friend, a mentor a mother figure. So
many people that you can fill your heart and your
home with. And if your boys are too busy or
too distracted their loss, there's plenty of other people, especially
young people, who would love to have somebody who could
(05:59):
miss toward them and encourage them and spend time with them.
There's probably some kids, some young people, some young adults
in your own neighborhood who did not have a mom
like you, who sacrificed to raise them, and they would
love the attention and affection that you could shower them with.
So if your own biological kids are too busy living
(06:23):
their own life to be connected to you, then create
a family of love and live life fully. That's what
I've done, That's what I would do if I were you.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young man named Chris,
who says, my girlfriend and I are quote taking a
(06:47):
break from our relationship because she says we argue a lot.
She says she isn't happy because of all the arguments,
and this is what needs to happen. Now listen to this.
We are still living together. Okay, two sentences back, we're
taking a break from our relationship. Now fast forward. We
(07:09):
are still living together and we have two beautiful children together.
She also has a child from a previous relationship that
I've been raising for over four years. Our two kids
are one and two. I really do love her, and
I know the fighting is not just her fault. I
work ten to twelve hours a day, six days a week,
but I've been on medical leave for the last month
and a half because I had surgery. I can't go
(07:32):
back to work until the beginning of March. She means
so much to me and I just don't want to
lose her. My heart breaks more every day that we're apart.
I don't know what to do. I'm trying to give
her space, but it's hard. When she goes out and
leaves me at home. I feel like she doesn't want
(07:54):
to try to work things out, even though she tells
me she loves me and cares about me? What should
I do? Please help me from Chris. Oh, Chris, I've
got some words from the Delilah for you, young man. Coming
up next, Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young man
(08:16):
who is in such a horrible situation living with his girlfriend.
He has two children with her, plus he's raised her
other child for four years, and she has decided to
take a break from the relationship and go out, leaving
him at home with the kids, and he doesn't know
what to do. Chris, this is insanity. What your girlfriend
(08:38):
wants is to have her cake and eat it too.
She wants you to be there when she needs you,
to raise the children, to love her and support her
while she goes out and parties. That is insanity. If
you're the one who is parenting the kids, staying home,
being responsible, and she's acting like a nineteen year old
(09:00):
who wants to go party, that is so wrong on
so many levels, and you need to be honest and
face it and stop letting her walk all over you.
It's not good for you, certainly not good for your children.
You need to start talking setting some healthy boundaries and saying,
you know what if that's the life you want. If
that is the choice you make, then make that choice.
(09:22):
But I'm not going to sit here night after night
while you put on your high heels and go have
fun saying we're taking a break from our relationship while
I'm still fully invested in this relationship. That's my best advice.
Good luck, God bless you. Talk to somebody, get some
support and some help. I so hope you have enjoyed
(09:45):
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on
Hey It's Delilah to m
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Sharon, who is drowning in debt,
(00:45):
not even her own debt. She says, I was a
single mom for a long time, but now I'm married
to a great guy. But man, he has gotten us
into a lot of debt. He was not in debt
when I married him. I'm trying to get through this,
but I'm not sure how we can. At fifty seven
years old, I did not think I would ever end
up here. I only have about ten years on my
(01:07):
house and it will be paid for. But now there's
all this credit card debt from his business. I'm not
sure what to do anymore, and I'm hoping you have
some advice. He is not a bad person except for
this debt problem and it's making me crazy. Thank you
so much from Sharon, Sharon, I will have my very
blunt mother Delilah words for you and for anyone else
(01:28):
listening with this situation coming up next Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from Sharon, who was single, taken life as it came.
Sounds like she was very successful paying off her house
and now she says, I'm married to a great guy,
(01:50):
but he has gotten us into a lot of debt.
And again at the end she says, he's not a
bad person except for this debt. Sharon. If he's not
a bad person, if he is it's really a great guy,
then he will sit down with you. You will have
an honest and frank discussion, and he will understand that
he does not, in any way, shape or form, have
the right to hurt you with his bad choices. If
(02:13):
he cannot hear that, cannot receive that, cannot respect that,
then guess what, he's not a great guy. Because this
isn't about money, and this isn't about debt. This is
about respect. This is about love. When somebody loves another
person and respects them, they don't do things that hurt
(02:34):
that person. You're paying your house off, which means he's
living with you, right, I mean, I'm guessing you're married.
You're not living in separate places. So you are extremely
responsible financially and he is extremely irresponsible financially. So you
need to set down and you need to say this
(02:56):
has got to stop now. If you are business is
going to continue to put us into debt and is
not making money, then you need to choose another line
of work, or you need to take up a second job.
You need to be responsible for the debt that you
have created. And if he can't receive that and honor
(03:16):
it and do it, then he's not really a great
guy and he doesn't really love you and respect you,
because this issue is far more about love and respect
than about money. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Alexandra, who says,
(03:39):
I don't know what to do and I need some advice.
I have three sons to live in the area. They
live very close to me. However, they don't come and
visit me. When I invite them or call them to
come over, they don't come to help me. They find
excuses not to come or at least I feel like that.
I just remodeled my house and I invited them to
(03:59):
come and see the changes, but no results. One of
them is married and they live close to his mother
in law and they are there most of the time.
My second son just recently called to ask for money
for college. I don't mind helping him, but my heart
is telling me he's using me, and I don't like
that feeling. I was unemployed for two years and none
(04:22):
of them even came to give me a hand. My
heart is broken. I did not raise them like this.
I gave my soul to them as a single parent.
What should I do? From Alex? I will have my
mother Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
(04:50):
dilemma is from Alex. A woman who was a single
mom raised three boys. Now they're grown and on their own,
and none of them seem to have time or energy
to spend with mom. And she's feeling kind of bitter,
kind of hurt, kind of neglected. And I would too, Alex,
But here's what I would say to you. You are
(05:11):
going to have to build a life where your needs
are met by other people, not by your sons, because
your sons have flown the coup, and they've moved on
with their lives and their wives and their college and
their careers, and for whatever reason, they're not recognizing the
sacrifices you made to raise them. But there are so
(05:37):
many people in this world, Alex, that would love to
have a good friend, a mentor a mother figure. So
many people that you can fill your heart and your
home with. And if your boys are too busy or
too distracted their loss, there's plenty of other people, especially
young people, who would love to have somebody who could
(05:59):
miss toward them and encourage them and spend time with them.
There's probably some kids, some young people, some young adults
in your own neighborhood who did not have a mom
like you, who sacrificed to raise them, and they would
love the attention and affection that you could shower them with.
So if your own biological kids are too busy living
(06:23):
their own life to be connected to you, then create
a family of love and live life fully. That's what
I've done, That's what I would do if I were you.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young man named Chris,
who says, my girlfriend and I are quote taking a
(06:47):
break from our relationship because she says we argue a lot.
She says she isn't happy because of all the arguments,
and this is what needs to happen. Now listen to this.
We are still living together. Okay, two sentences back, we're
taking a break from our relationship. Now fast forward. We
(07:09):
are still living together and we have two beautiful children together.
She also has a child from a previous relationship that
I've been raising for over four years. Our two kids
are one and two. I really do love her, and
I know the fighting is not just her fault. I
work ten to twelve hours a day, six days a week,
but I've been on medical leave for the last month
and a half because I had surgery. I can't go
(07:32):
back to work until the beginning of March. She means
so much to me and I just don't want to
lose her. My heart breaks more every day that we're apart.
I don't know what to do. I'm trying to give
her space, but it's hard. When she goes out and
leaves me at home. I feel like she doesn't want
(07:54):
to try to work things out, even though she tells
me she loves me and cares about me? What should
I do? Please help me from Chris. Oh, Chris, I've
got some words from the Delilah for you, young man. Coming
up next, Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young man
(08:16):
who is in such a horrible situation living with his girlfriend.
He has two children with her, plus he's raised her
other child for four years, and she has decided to
take a break from the relationship and go out, leaving
him at home with the kids, and he doesn't know
what to do. Chris, this is insanity. What your girlfriend
(08:38):
wants is to have her cake and eat it too.
She wants you to be there when she needs you,
to raise the children, to love her and support her
while she goes out and parties. That is insanity. If
you're the one who is parenting the kids, staying home,
being responsible, and she's acting like a nineteen year old
(09:00):
who wants to go party, that is so wrong on
so many levels, and you need to be honest and
face it and stop letting her walk all over you.
It's not good for you, certainly not good for your children.
You need to start talking setting some healthy boundaries and saying,
you know what if that's the life you want. If
that is the choice you make, then make that choice.
(09:22):
But I'm not going to sit here night after night
while you put on your high heels and go have
fun saying we're taking a break from our relationship while
I'm still fully invested in this relationship. That's my best advice.
Good luck, God bless you. Talk to somebody, get some
support and some help. I so hope you have enjoyed
(09:45):
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on
Hey It's Delilah to m
Host
Delilah
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