Family gets into a massive brawl over how to season some chicken.

Family gets into a massive brawl over how to season some chicken.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KVP, I and your show time
for stupid stories.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stop y'all all stop line.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Yeah, you are the stories brought to you by uh
comedy Works.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
All right, comedy Works. He's coming in a little bit later,
Shane Smith. Right, Shane Smith coming in. We're gonna have
dude lots for you today. Man. Check out this big
daddy rich Texas Hippy Coalition. They're coming back through town.
We'll have him on a little bit later, I think
right around eight thirty eight forty. Uh. Then Shane Smith
came in at nine o'clock. At ten o'clock, we're gonna
replace something we did yesterday which was really cool. Yeah,

(00:35):
Scoop came back for it. We did a thing of
performance session with Tim Montana, Tiam Montana. Uh he fits
that bill too, Yes, very much. So he's a very
Tim Montiner, Tim Mountainer, conn of God.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
I introduced myself as Sean Illinois. He was not impressed.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
You know, he's only had that happen about I don't
know eight million times. Right, Hi, my name is wal Colorado.
Shut up, man. Uh, but he was he was super cool.
Man was Uh, he's got a story like when you
hear this interview, you will freak out at what they've
done over the last three days. Like now, the interview

(01:18):
was recorded yesterday right before they went on stage. You know,
they were on stage just they fiddlers for Bush. So
they opened up and they were all excited about it.
But the prior twenty four hours had been uneff being believable.
Like when you hear the story of what these guys

(01:39):
had been through in the last just I mean just
day and a half, you're like, what are you doing here?
It was that wild. So that's a little treat later
on in the show for you. That's trust me. When
you hear the second part, there's definitely a oh wow,
right excu you'd like, you're like, what wait, really crazy? Anyway,

(02:00):
I guess I should start with stories, a rightnah, see
you tell me this cool New York Post is sharing
a debate over whether or not it's cool to park
in front of your neighbor's house. So I don't have
to worry about this where I live, but I have
lived in sub divisions before where I had to park
in front of my neighbor's house or the neighbor would

(02:23):
park in front of my house. Okay, how do you
feel about that.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
How come you can't park in front of your own house?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
What is then? Maybe there's another car, or maybe there's
something going on, or maybe you know.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
If it's like downtown is just busy street parking, all
bets are off.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
That's just a free for.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
All down there in a subdivision. I mean I park
in front of Julie's neighbor's house all the time because
hers are full of cars. Yeah, that's what I was
curious though, there's not a lot of other options. You
think the neighbor gets upset about it. Maybe they get upset,

(03:00):
but I don't think they have a reason to still
outside your house whatever, as long as they're not blocking
your driveway or your walkway.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Okay. A right man in Indonesia allegedly stabbed his friend
of death last week over the classic riddle which came first,
the chicken or the egg?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's what they're arguing over, and yeah, stabbed.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Them, uh huh to death. I got feeling that friendship
wasn't on the best of the terms before the old
chicken or the egg conversation started.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Does it say what the survivor had picked?

Speaker 2 (03:30):
No? Oh, okay, well I think it's irrelevant. Thirty nine
percent of Americans say their emotional health is more improved
by a dog, and I can't say that about a cat,
can't you. No. Twenty seven percent said the same about
their mental health improved by a dog, and twenty five
percent say their dog helps them boost their physical health too.

(03:53):
So look all kinds of reasons to go to doggie.
Where's your cat? People that were cat people at eh? No? No,
you know why? There's cats are savages, they're killers, and
people get cats. They're not happy anymore. They're afraid for
their lives.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
You're sad. Go the dumb friends, lyue, you'll find something
that makes you happy.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Eighty eight percent of Americans say they are opting out
of travel this coming Labor Day weekend because of rising
airfare costs and flight delays. Yeah join us inline. Amnic
Connecticut is in the hospital after he was bitten by
a rattlesnake. He was trying to help. Well, this is

(04:34):
just weapons grade stupid helping a snake. You don't help
a rattlesnake. You finished the job when it comes to rattlesnake.
There's a reason the rattlesnake was near death or about
to die or in an uncomfortable situation. They deserve to
be rattlesnakes. Look, especially when it comes to human contact,
your contact should be killing it. Other than that, no,

(04:58):
no contact.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
It was crossing the street and he just wanted to
help him across the street. That's when he got bet
shut up. Yeah, like a rattlep snak can't cross the street.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
You're just stupid for interfering in that dude's day, right,
I mean, look, some be said about Survival of the
Fittest that moron's not fit. Nowe's in a coma helping
a rattlesnake. You don't help rattlesnakes, you run them over.
What a idiot. So Tom Cruise is doing something stupid

(05:29):
cool like you talk about. Scoop and I were talking
about this yesterday it was revealed what Tom Cruise is doing.
So at the end of this Olympics, Tom Cruise is
gonna if you're not seen one of these stadiums, it's massive,
He's gonna run off the top of him somehow with
the roof because it's kind of flat and just like
repel down from under the stage. He's gonna take the

(05:50):
torch and then the whole deal is, you know, you
pass the torch to where the next Summer Games is
gonna be. Well, Tom Cruise is taking the torch from
you know, the Paris Olympics. And then he's he's already
recorded this earlier stunt where he I guess he helicopters
in or skydives in to the Hollywood Sign. He climbs

(06:12):
to the Hollywood Sign all the time holding the effing
torchs like can you imagine being on the Olympics crew
or the marketing team. And Tom Cruise went to the
Olympics with this in mind, with this whole stunt like
drawn out in his mind. He went and basically eliminated

(06:33):
a lot of people's jobs, and that the whole marketing
team got fired, Like everybody on the marketing team. They
probably had a staff of twenty people that was supposed
to plot and plan how the next transition was gonnaccur,
how the you know, how it was gonna look, how
the you know, aesthetically, how it's gonna peer on TV,
and what it was gonna be to sort of spring

(06:54):
the excitement for the next Olympics four years in the
next city, which is La So Tom Cruise goes the
Olympic community and said, I got an idea. How about
I repelled down? I take the torch so I record
this crazyest on a skydive in and I do this
like straight mission impossible stuff, and the whole marketing teams
like anybody got anything better? Anybody anybody want come to put?

(07:17):
Can anybody beat that?

Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm guessing it's been a long long time since Tom
Cruise has heard the word no, right, I mean you
want to do what? Okay, sure, you.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Want to do? What was the tors and repel down
in this skuy that I've in Hollywood sign And then
you go.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Sure, and you're doing all your own stunts.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Okay, look, we're gonna let you do this one more time, Tom,
Is it all right? How did Willie Nelson handle groupies?
In nineteen eighty seven, he was on the Johnny Carson
Show and Johnny Carson was just talking to Willie about
his career. Johnny asked him, when you're on the road,
there are groupies, and rock stars have groupies. I'm sure
you do. You know, the women who want more than

(07:59):
just an outaga. How do you handle that? Willie Nelson
just smiled and simply said, I try to give it
to him. What I mean, you get canceled for that today.
But classic Willie Nelson, all right, got California open his

(08:19):
car door while sitting in traffic. Listen to this, So
just in case you were oblivious to the fact our
laws are changing, August eighth is the day if I recall, right,
but the laws are changing for motorcycle riders in a
traffic backed up stop situation, right and when the traffic

(08:42):
is beginning to move, I think when the traffic was
under like ten or fifteen miles an hour. Motorcycles now
have the right to split lanes and go to the
front of traffic, both at red lights and on the highway.
So just know, starting here the next week or so,

(09:03):
that will happen and it is legal, all right, is
one legal.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
And it'll probably surprise you a couple times.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
The guy in California, he was sitting in traffic stopped
and there's a guy in a motorcycle who was lane splitting,
which is again legal in California. Right, So what does
this guy do? He opened his car door. Oh thank god,
the dude on the motorcycle saw it in time and

(09:32):
skid it to a stop just before hitting his door.
But again, lane splitting, although surprising for some, safer much
safer for the motorcyclist, and as much as you're gonna
be offitted to buy it, it is going to occur,
and it is going to occur where motorcycles will go

(09:53):
around lane, will split lanes and go round the very
first car at a red light where trap your stop.
That is legal. Now, don't start yelling at him saying, hey,
you're just cutting line. Look at motorcycles gonna get out
faster than what your car is, unless you're trying to
race the dumb motorcycle, which don't do that either. Uh,
but it's just Look, it's one of those things. It's

(10:15):
all to improve efficiency. Don't don't be a Karen. It's
gonna happen. Don't freak out, and definitely don't open your
door to try to peed the motorcyclist. Stupid, all right?
A man who got it's kind of a wild story.
A man who murdered his friend by stabbing him through
the heart with a broken golf club has been jumped
for eighteen years. The story is kind of wild, So

(10:36):
we're we're reard. Are you a r I? D H.
How would you pronounce that name? Ra Red Red? I'll
go with reed whatever, We'll just come r R Levy.
He attacked this dude named Craig different names there anyway,
at his home. Now the killer. See here's where this

(11:00):
is what makes the story so wide, and Nelley busted
this dude. The killer wanted to take photos of his
friend when he was badly beaten, so he claimed he
was acting in self defense. He said, oh, listen to
the story. He said. On the day of the murder,
they ended up at Craig Levy's home. They were playing

(11:22):
Xbox games or listening to music. They watched YouTube and
some ww wrestling event. But these guys were close. I mean,
they were doing a lot of things. And you will
come over. WA's wrestlings your thing, buddy, you will play Xbox,
sure thing, pal, You're my best you know you're my bestie.
And then two hours later I'm stabbing you to death. Anyway,

(11:43):
Levy said that McNaught fell asleep as you said, watching TV,
he claimed his friend, and woke him up, suddenly grabbed
him and choked him before whacking a guth club off
on the floor, breaking in Levy further claimed his friend
armed himself with another weapon he had in my head
with a spinan thought I was gonna die. Levy told

(12:03):
jurors that he picked up the shaft of the broken
golf club to protect himself. He claimed he must have
stabbed his friend with it during the confrontation, but he
didn't do it deliberately. Here's the deal. He caught an ambulance,
but he waited two hours before he called the ambulance.
Oh and then in those two hours he took photos,

(12:26):
several photos of the Craig McNatt guy with his face off,
jacked up, and you know him with the club still
in his chest. He took photos of him, and then
waited two hours before he called for the ambulance. So
that's what I got him convicted.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, something's not adding up here, because it sounds like
they were having a grand old time till he fell asleep.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah. Yeah, Uh. Basically they said, look at the time,
you took photos to boast what you had done. Levy
replied to the jury that yeah, it comes across that. Well,
they can't say that too anyway. They just convicted him
for eighteen years minim eighteen years for the murder so

(13:10):
I was acting in self defense. Bro, you waited two
hours and he took a bunch of photos of your
friend dying. That's a little evil, all right. So here's
some crazy a family fight that well, this is a
family brawl that really really goes to the next level.
So it happened on Sunday night, just to give you

(13:32):
a kind of rundown. Involves a gun, a knife, a broom,
a can of bug spray, and a piece of port
of cooked chicken. Twenty seven year old Anthony Harper he
was cooking chicken, or twenty five year old sister Hope
Harper asked him why he didn't season it so it
could crust up. Everybody wants that chicken crust up. Shoot,
give me some crusted up chicken.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
So no seasoning, huh?

Speaker 2 (13:56):
He said, I know how to cook my chicken. And
then he said Grammy was gonna season the chicken. The
grandmother was in the other room. Hope caught him a
dumb dog. Oh no, you didn't, you dumb dog, You
dumb dog, which prompted Anthony to shove it into the
kitchen table and then punching the face. You dumb dog.
You no, you didn't chow you the table, punching in

(14:16):
the face. And then someone else in the home walked
in and fired a handgun in the ceiling to break
it up. Because that sounds like, you know, completely normal
reaction to a brother and sister fight. Just walk in
the fire handgun through the said, sure, sounds normal to me.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
You knock it off, you kids bang.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
My stepdad didn't pull a gun on me and my
brother when we were fighting one time.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Really didn't fire it, thought correct.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
No, no, And I had the upper hand too. I
was whooping my brother's ass at the tongue. Me and
my brother used to go rounds and sometimes I'd win,
sometimes he'd win. But yeah, I was opening his ass
in the front yard. Ben comes out with a handgun.
He's like, I don't know what breaks us up. I'm
going to get my gun, and my mom starts screaming
and me and my brother punching my brother. Look, brothers

(15:10):
will get into it. At least me and my brother did.
We threw blows. That's my best friend, and I was
laying him out. I was like, well, I'm get this good.
I'm getting good. And he come out with that handgun
and Mom was screaming, and both me and my brother
were like, whoa, hey, hey, we are cool. There was
no more fighting going on here. Nah, hey, bro, we're cool.

(15:32):
And was like, nah, we cool. I'm just bleeding over.
Don't worry about this. Yeah that look that In most
cases that gets you to stop fighting, especially the dude
fires off in the ceiling like boom, Like damn, why'd
you have to go fire off a handgun in the house.
Some people would frown on that unless you're a sharp
shooter from Turkey. Anyway, that didn't end the fight. No,

(15:57):
there's more. Hope, that's the sister. She grabs the steak
knife and then she started chasing Anthony around the house
with the steak knife. She finally stopped when Grammy, remember
grandmother was in theother room, supposed to yes, but was
trying to season. We're going to season the chicken. Grammy

(16:18):
showed up in the living room and swatted Hope with
a broom. So Grammy comes in tea and Hope up
running through the house with a steak knife. Tease her
up with a big ass broom whack. But it's not
over her. Anthony grabs a can of raid. Now this

(16:40):
is the same dude that hit his sister and push
her into the table. He grabs a can of raid
and it started spraying Hope in the face with the
raid bug spray, and then she apparently kicked him. This
dude's a bitch. She kicks him, grabs the bug spray
from him, and sprayed him in the face with it.

(17:03):
So now they're both covered in bug spray. Granny's swinging
a broom like they're a pinata. You got some dude
in the kitchen firing off gun like rounds upstairs. Hell
probably dog dead upstairs. Somebody finally called the cops. Both
the siblings were arrested in want to press charges, so
they both are facing something battery charges. Meanwhile, Grammy's left

(17:25):
season a chicken and they had a bug spray.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Everybody's ears are ringing, everybody's blind.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Unless you're the dude who's a sharp shooter from Turkey.
He was like just another day in the neighborhood. That
dude's awesome. All right, there you go, stupid stories. That
sounds like a great family brawl. Like if I was
a fly on the wall, that'd be awesome. Like, oh yeah,
what is this dysfunctional, crazy ass family like you know,
some people would argue they need their own reality show.

(17:56):
That could be our next Kardashians.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
This Thanksgiving, there's just gonna be a whole lot of
don't talk about the turkey or the chicken any not
a word if it's dry, don't talk about that chicken.