Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One nine KBPI and your show time for stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
St y'all all stop. Yeah you are stupid stories brought
you buy Colorado Parks.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
And Wildlife, And on Friday, all the state parks are
gonna be free for you.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
So what it's like Black Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Everybody's gonna be shopping, right except for you because you're
gonna be going to a state park.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
No not uh. You know today is Anti Obesity Day,
but they parted up with National Cake Day.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
That's just mean, Like damn, everybody can celebrate regardless.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Speaking of obesity, you put on some holiday weight. A
poll found that one in four Americans still haven't lost
the holiday weight they put on last year. Oh whoops, uh,
let's see mistletoe. Man, this is unfortunate. Remember when mistletoe
was that was in your arsenal Christmas parties? Right hey,
bink God means a missiletoe. Well, misstoe's dying out all
(01:00):
these work parties cross country. People are worried they'll catch
the sexual harassment complaint and you will just bringing a mistletone.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
This toe not good for hr.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
No, No, you better not put that misstoe like you
don't have to do it. Macy's had to delay delay
its quarterly earnings report. Why Why Well, they realized that
a single employee had hid one hundred and fifty four
(01:31):
million dollars worth of expenses over the course of three years. Wow, dude,
one employee one hundred and fifty four million dollars and
it took you three years to notice it. Damn it's a.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Lot of crazy. It's a lot of things to expense.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I think about that. That's fifty million dollars a year.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, I mean you gotta work hard at that expensing
real estate.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Are you spending more then you know? Think about this,
it's spending almost two million dollars a month. Yeah, you know,
well they are.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Usually you have her seats for some of those things, right, yes,
your receipts.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, man, there's been a what four million a month?
That's crazy to make like a million a week? Yeah,
that's crazy, just expensive. Yo, what says here? You ordered
seven hundred thousand sharpies?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It took him nearly three years to figure out that
a million dollars a week was missing that.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
We don't know. You're making too much money, right, I
feel like if you can't account for a million dollars
a week. Then you're making too much, Like what are
you doing? All right? So maybe parent of the Year.
I don't know. A mom in Miami. Apparently she got
no argument outside McDonald's. She pulled a gun. This is
(02:59):
a mom. Oh she pulled a gun, but she dropped
it because you know, girls can't handle guns, and accidentally
shot her fifteen year old daughter in the shoulder. I mean,
tell me, this doesn't sound like my family down in
Florida taking a vacation. Wait, you pulled a gun, out,
dropped it and the gun goes off. What are all
(03:19):
these guns like loaded, ready to right? Like, damn you
got one in the chamber.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
McDonald's. Yeah, gotta be prepared at all times.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Honey, I'm sorry I shot you, but it was an accident.
I feel like that's just a funny conversation. Forty seven
year old guy in Texas he barricaded himself inside of
Walmart and he didn't shoot guns, but he shot arrows
at people a bow an arrow said thing. Nobody was
seriously hurt. He must have been a terrible shot. That'd
(03:52):
be hard to post up against.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Did they say what he barricaded himself with? No?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Because some sections I figure are a little better for
a little more prepared, Like yeah, like you don't want
to be barricaded by the tissue paper.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
It makes a nice barrier but.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Doesn't stop much, right right, But like tires and stuff,
I mean, you're.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Just picking off raydom Walmart customers a bone arrow, that's
what I butter balls catching heat for an old report
from two thousand and six about a worker in Arkansas
who apparently sexually assaulted the turkey.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Oh no, so uh.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Top ten states with the highest STD rates. US News
and World Report came out top three Louisiana, Mississippi, and
Alaska Alaska. Oh weird, right, Yeah, dude, if you're a
chick in Alaska, no wonder you've got the STV. Yeah, yeah,
(04:52):
you do one, spreading it around because yeah, everybody wants
your attention. I arrested cargo ship doctor apparently ducked out
space station this weekend. But they can't open the hats
to get supplies because there's some sort of unexpected odor
emanating from inside of it. Oh so they don't want
to open it up.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
That's kind of weird, right, what kind of odor?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I'm curious myself? Wats out? Man venom is up there. Uh,
Indonesia has a cow shortage. Oh so now they figured
out a way to make milk out of fish. Ooh,
that's gotta be awful fish milk. Can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Ooh, I like my milk to come from animals that traditionally.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Have milk, right, I can't imagine some rainbow trout milk. Hey,
it's here, bluegill milk. Put it on your cereal salmon milk.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Catfish, I'm guessing it's just a generic fish.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
They get all kinds of fish and they milk him.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All at once. How do you even begin to milk
a fish? The fish have nipples. Video service of a
man throwing what appears to be coffee at a bull
elk in Evergreen. The video was shot by Matt Roll.
A man appears to be angered at the animal because
it's in his path on the way to work. He
was trying to get the work. That's when all the
(06:28):
action took place. The man in the video first yells
at the elk, and then the yelk charges after the man.
He eventually tosses his coffee in the animal's direction, and
it must have worked because it looks like the animal left.
He said he was trying to get the bull and
the bull wasn't having it. That day, nobody was hurting
the encounter. Spokesperson with the Colorade of Parks and Wildlife says,
(06:50):
in general, visitors should not approach wildlife and it's illegal
to rest wildlife at any time. Bitch, the elk came
after him. He was just walking to work. I throw
cove on it. Two.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Did he actually make contact?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, Okay, it's funny. Sind It's always in your best
interests give all wild animals no space, not if he's
on my way to work. All right, this is a
wild story. So Drug Enforcement Agency said Monday it got
(07:25):
a tip that led to a caesar of around listen
to this six hundred and seventy thousand fentanyl pills. Ooh,
and they were all headed to Denver. Now here's what's
crazy is they ended up being fake fentanyl pills. Six
hundred and seventy thousand fake fentanyl pills. According to the
(07:48):
release by the DEA Rocky Mountain Field Division, a concerned
citizen reported to suspicious men in Abuquerque who were traveled
at Denver by bus. Both men became nervous. One of
the men actually fled, leaving behind two large suitcases. The
Albuquerque Police Department responded, seized both the suitcases. A search
(08:09):
warrant was obtained and three one hundred and thirty thousand
fake pills two outreds of heroin were found in the suitcases.
The second man continued boarded the bus to Denver. He
also had two suitcases. The DA officer Kyra of Springs
contacted later detained the second man, seized the suitcase and
(08:31):
the backpack Kyra Springs Apartment Kay nine A learned presidents
and narcotics on all three of those packages those bags.
A search warrant was obtained and they found three hundred
and forty thousand fake fentanyl pills. Dude, what are you doing?
(08:51):
And they found several thousands of dollars in cash, oh,
some of the drugs. The suspect of the rest of
Kyra Springs later did fight as a fugitive from Denver,
who is one of announced any drug trafficking warrant says
number of Finnanel pills sees in this case was almost
enough to give every resident in the city a fake
(09:14):
finanol pill. But they're crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
They're fake though, so I mean the heroine throws this
out the window. But what are the charges for, you know, traffic?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Can you get arrested drugs for? I don't know. Hey,
you know, let me take some kid. I wonder what
you can get a red Like I'm thinking, if you're
selling fake pills, there's got to be a well, is
there a drug driving in charge in that? Because you're
not really selling drugs.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I feel like there might be something along the lines
of like theft by deception, because you're you're trying to
pass them off as real but you're selling them to
other people. But as far as like drug dealing, I mean,
they got him for heroin, that should be enough.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
But they got the one guy, the one guy in
the spring. He didn't have any heroin.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
But if you're just driving cross country with a bunch
of fake pills or back in the day, et cetera
used to have an E on it and people would
sell that as ecstasy to unsuspecting people. They'd be like,
it has an eye, it's ecstasy East days for ecstasy, dug, etcetera.
Has a little caffeine at it. You might feel a
little bit of a little like, oh, I think it's
(10:29):
kicking it. But again, not not illegal to sell somebody,
you know, but.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
If you're selling it as an ecstasy, it's really a
you know, placebo, right right? Is that? I feel like
there's got to be a some sort of deception deal
in that even those drugs.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
You're stealing from somebody, you're stealing their money.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But who by finnaff pills? Like, who's the dumb man? Yeah? Man? Yeah?
Me like, hey, you god like to get of them
real quick? Me and my boy, you're going to trip
on some finana? I don't think so who's doing that? What? Like?
That is stuff? Right?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You slinging those this ventanyl? Who's gonna buy that? Would
you ever buy somebody?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Man, you want to buy some fitanyl?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Hell no, there are a lot of people that take fentanyl.
Just for taking fentanyl.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
It's not like that it's a pain pill, right yeah?
Jesus So China, China pizza Hoot franchise is serving customers
deep fried frogs on their pizza.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Oh that's interesting. You have?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Man, This David Hint guy, he's a global food trend watcher.
He shared a picture that specialized pizza uh from China
and apparently it's a big ass, huge deep fried frog
on it. He says. Other countries and cultures prefer different
types protein pizza has offering a pizza top with a
(11:55):
frog in China, and frog is trending. The thick Us
pizza features red sauce basse under a bed of parsley,
with a whole fried bullfrog on the top. Whole frog. Yeah.
Two halves of heart boiled eggs with black olives appear
as the eyes of the frog. This it looks like
(12:16):
it's available in Chinese pizza huts that are offering this
protein packed pizza. And it looks like, Oh God, look
at that thing. It's a The frog is the full
size of the pizza.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Oh damn, have you ever eaten frog?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Slimy, what do you do with the bones?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
They just set aside?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
A weird on a pizza that someones in it. I
guess you're not eating the frog with the pizza. I guess.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, that's weird, man, that is so weird. I feel
like that pizza is a felony. I don't know, it's
just that's just weird, all right. So how about this?
Canadian border agents don't hear a lot about Canadian border agents,
but they seize you ready for this? Two hundred and
forty six kilograms of cocaine. Oh wow, that's a quarter
(13:06):
ton of cocaine. That's crazy. Put that in. That's five
hundred and forty two pounds.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Wow, two big dudes worth of cocaine.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
That is an enormous a mount of cocaine. So look,
if you are expecting a little fantatic cocaine this weekend
in my high city, forget about it. A luxury bathroom
brand in Japan is working on a new human washing
machine to replaces bathtubs. The English name for it literally
means human washing machine in the future. It's based on
(13:39):
the design some maniac came up with half a century ago.
Early version debuted at Expo in Japan nineteen seventy, but
this one is much more high tech. It looks like
a cockpit of a fighter jet fills with water that
does not sound safe anyway. They haven't revealed a ton
of details, but apparently uses microscopic bubbles that blast the
(14:02):
filth off of it. Meanwhile, AI tracks your vitals to
make sure you're comfortable and the water temperature is just right.
And also you ready for this, it dries you off.
This is the epitomele for lazy people?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That that was the question I had. Doesn't dry you
as well?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Dude? The whole thing when you step in from time,
it like lathers you up and watches you for the
first moment you get wet to the moment you dried off.
Fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay, so it takes the same amount of time as
a long shower anyway.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean I don't need fifteen minutes to take
a shower, but some people do. I guess they are
underling the prototype at a conference coming up this April,
fully focused the prototype of plans eventually sell all of
them the word as to what they'll cost. But imagine
it's it's gonna be big on amongst old people.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
You know, I thought maybe that it took up less
space than your bathtub.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
This thing's huge, is it?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Wow, that's big? What the hell? That's weird? That's I mean,
you talk about lazy man, Just take a shower, people, God.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
You're gonna have to get your bathroom extended.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Wow. All right, So twenty two year old woman in
Florida and name her name is Marlena Vellez. Anyway, it's
pretty big on TikTok she has about damn she got
about three hundred fifty thousand followers. She has a lot
more now because apparently she's added a lot more since
the story broke. She I guess she posts day in
(15:39):
the life stuff right. Some of her videos apparently have
millions of views, so she's doing it right. But she's
in the news because she got busted for stealing one
hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from Target, and apparently
she has all on video. She stole a bunch of
stuff on Target near Fort Myers last month that looks
(15:59):
like the cops because she posted all this stuff on
her TikTok have all the videos. The theft happened October thirtieth.
Police shared security cam shots of her face to see
if anybody recognized her. They said she filled her car
with about five hundred dollars worth of stuff, but she
scanned false barcodes had the self checkout to make it
all super cheap for her. Okay, somebody reads out to
(16:22):
him on Instagram gave them Marlena's name, so they checked
the social media counts and found all the proof they needed.
She posted a quote fun video that showed I guess
the same apple she was stealing from Target. She's piguring
out all the items that were stolen, chinam on. She's
got a video of her loading all the items from
(16:44):
the actual cart into her car. Anyway, now the arrested her,
stupid ass, and now she's facing theft charges. I mean,
that's just you would think of, especially in institution gram
slash TikTok influencer with make enough money to buy these
things right, life hacks for you. She added a lot
(17:08):
of followers from the story, so maybe maybe that's part
of her plan here today we're doing target hacks. Here's
how you steal it.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Do you think she turned herself in there?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Oh no, the cops the rest of her, right, But
somebody narch there was a snitch.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Oh yeah yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Hey, just to let you know somebody, not me, is
stealing on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Right, how stupid? Like, if you're that dumb, you just
deserve it, right, you know, that big of an idiot