December 3, 2024 • 16 mins
Man gets arrested for Shoplifiting during Shop with a Cop event.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
One seven nine kbp I and your show time for
stupid Stories.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, yeah, you are stupid stories brought to you.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
By It's a Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's Giving Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Yeah, give your favorite charity or five to one C
three of your choice. Giving Tuesday, Pay a forward, help
out saw, it's a good week for that. Uh, let's see.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's also National green Bean Castro Day and oh say
something else too? What else is it? There's some other
weird holiday associated with it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I feel like Ozzie should get something related to feel
like Ozzy Day, you know, like go pee on the
Alamo Day or bite a bat Day or something like that,
you know, or just gibberous day.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
All right, let's get to a two. Many wear and reflect.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
The vest and a hard hats entered the stadium in
Texas with fake construction credentials and apparently using some pretty
pun packed names.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Did you see their names?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh? Really need? The names are the best part, all right.
One of their names Harry as Crack. Oh no a
z c r A c Harry as Crack. The second
one Duncan d u n c A n Duncan.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I don't where this is going.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No Duncan mcchanner. Yeah, yeah, kind of what I was expecting.
I care who you are. That's funny. That is funny.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Uh. More than three thousand fake Gibson electric guitars shipped
from Asia were seized at a port. Oh it happened
to LA so it was seized by agents. So look,
if you're getting them, If you think you're getting the
Gibson guitar for Christmas, you might want double check. The
(02:02):
Gibsons are made of what like Nashville and Illinois, right, Montiana?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, okay, they're all made here in America. They should
be coming through a port, right right.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Asia specifically, they're all made in Nashville and Montana.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So yeah, not.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Gonna be a real Gibson if it's coming from Asia,
especially three thousand.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Of them, all right.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
So look, it looks like Stowly brand vodkis filed for bankruptcy.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Stoly Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Nancy Pelosi not doing enough drinking Apparently nowadays, some woman,
an influencer, is upset and claims she's embarrassed because Targets
self checkout lanes sniffed on her for having too many items.
Oh no, she got busted twice doing it. So no, surprise.
They went back looked at they looked at this woman's
(02:52):
own videos on TikTok, and they went back to the
the cash registers that day, pulled up her things and
it just ratted her out because she's she got busted
for stealing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Now she got busted for her theft again. Idiot people, stupid.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Let's see a couple.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Of stories where somebody, look, I think this is pretty rad.
I wanted to do that. I think everybody, at least
every guy has wanted or thought about.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Stealing ATM man or how much money's in that bitch?
You know what. I'm like, hmmm, but how would you
get it open? Normally?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Cameras around A couple of stories about that somebody in
Washington stole an excavator.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
To steal an ATM.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
They used the excavator to break out, uproot the ATM,
the load of the ATM in the back of a truck,
which led police on a chase before they got away.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
There's the problem. You just need to break it open
there on the scene and grab what you right out.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Here's another story. This one's out of Australia. According to
Victoria Police, this happened just before five am on Saturday,
November thirtieth. Video it shows a vehicle crashing in and
through the doors of the mall, then driving inside the
shopping center. Police say at least seven businesses sustained significant damages.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
The offenders then ran the vehicle into.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
A kiosk that had the atm They stole a safe,
fleeing the scene in an unknown direction to travel. This
is the dumbest part of the story. You're ate for
this the last ends of the story. No one was
inside the shopping center at the time. Need I remind
you that it was at four point thirty in the morning.
(04:38):
Of course nobody was there. Idiots says no local arrests.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Have been made.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Funny, let's see another story about well guys fellas tom
to throw old Yeller away. Doctors have issued a warning,
I'm sleeping on those nasty yellow pillows.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh yellow pillows. Huh do you have one of those?
I don't know why guys tend to get hung up
on their old yellow stained pillow, but there's.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Plenty of doctors that come out and say, hey, you
probably need to launder that pillow, at least try to
wash it. But if it's really stained yellow that's well,
that's all kinds of stuff that's sliva and drool along
with sweat, natural oils. That's stuff that might live and
thrive in. So probably like probably time to throw old
(05:35):
yellow awave.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's that bad. Yeah, if you have a MyPillow, those
are great.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Those are great, and they're washable and.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
We uh we got my pillows and uh god, we
love them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Man, we just got them like three weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, they're fantastic.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
It's so funny because they come flat as hell. You're like, well,
that's a damn rip off, but you don't. You don't
use them right out of the box. You got to
throw them in the in the dryer for like twenty
minutes and then they go poof yep, and all the
material just go poof, comes live in it and you
go watch them.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Hell, we've watched there's a few times since then. Sorry,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
They're a little pricier than a standard pillow, not.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Anymore if they last forever.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Now they got they're gonna sell right now fourteen dollars
every one of them. Oh wow, even king sized pillows
right now. It's crazy. I'm like, well, that's cheaper than Walmart.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Pillows.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
All right, Disney World that temporarily shut down this Haunter
Mansion ride over the weekend. Uh uh so a guest
scattered their loved ones ashes on the ride. Oh, I mean,
I get the sentiment, but damn, y'all don't realize this
is gonna end up, you know, in the trash. It's
(06:44):
not clear how long it shut down for an employee
post about it on Reddit. They said, as I write,
this Haunter Mansion is down to being evacuated due to
somebody spreading human ashes on the ride. They're going to
say it's a dumb thing to do the person's ashes, Well,
just d'up with the trash. Your loved one's asses are
going to be vacuumed up in a bucket with mass
droppings and thrown in the garbage. They also said it
(07:09):
was definitely caught on videos that the person will likely
get banned from all Disney parks.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Did they say how much? Is it the entire contents
of this person?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
No, they didn't say how much, but enough apparently you
shut down the whole damn ride, right, it was just
a little.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I don't think they would.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I think that's the proper way to do it like
a little tiny shit.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, yeah, I mean just yeah. I mean no, it's
a scatteral hole. There's a lot there, you know, Like,
wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Make it more of a symbolic thing than a here's
where you're going to remain forever.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Thing, right, I mean, besides, do it a place that
doesn't affect everybody else that day. You know, like it's
one thing, you know, it's you, your immediate family, friends, whatever,
but it's another thing toffect everybody else, especially a Disney World.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
A little bit in the flower bed out front, not
a problem, right, the ride a little different?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Well, let's peak the rides.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Look if Margeritaville was a place, they need to hire
some dermatologists. This forty year old man showed up oh A,
Texas with severe it says severe burnie rash on both
his hands that he developed two days earlier.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Now how severe, you may ask, how severe? How severe?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Listen to this a couple of days earlier, this guy.
It's weird because it reads a couple of days later,
this guy's hands blistered. A few weeks after that, skin
dark and scaled. The skin of his hands have finally
returned to normal, but lime juice and sunlight was the
(08:49):
culprit sunlight, Lime.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Juice and sunlight. Now I'm sure you're like lime juice.
Here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Turns out this guy I had this nasty skin eruption
because he manually says he manually squeezed a lime.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Oh, heaven forbid, as opposed to putting it in a juicer.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I guess as supposed to.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know the bitch ass way put it in a
machine and use a lever. Yeah, that's how you squeeze
the line, man, damn with your damn hand like a
man and wring it out right.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Come on, man, everybody knows that. Please hand me the
lime squeezer so I could squeeze some lime on my case. Ada,
shut up, He said.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
He manually squeezed a lime several times and then headed
to an outdoor soccer game in parentheses without applying sunscreen.
What bitch ass state this anyway? His doctors diagnosed the
man with you ready for this Fido photo dermatitis.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh doesn't sound fun.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Fial photo dermatitis. What the hell's that?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
According to a case report, it's conditions caused by toxic
substances found in plants that reacted with UV light and
they cause a burning, blistering, scaling, a discolored pigment in
the skin condition.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Okay, sounds severe.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
But come on, man, like if you if a full
grown man can't squeeze a lime nowadays without getting I
don't know, some serious skin condition, drag your ass into
Rocky Mountain Men's Clinican.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Go get a te shot for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I don't think this is a tea issue.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, it definitely is. It's weak lotioning.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Hands sounds like a science experiment.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And so soft it breaks out when lime juice hits it.
Come on, man, there is no doubt that dude suffering
from low.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Te lime juice. Please.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
All right, So, if you're a thief, a burglar California,
well you probably should consider what or who you're robbing first.
And I see where this is one of the situations
where you could probably think, oh, it's just a church
going person or a pastor or youth minister.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
How badass could they be? I'm go rob this church.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Okay, Well, the dude in California got a little bit
more than he bargained for it. He breaks into church
with an axe. Oh wow, scary the pastor. However, he
heard the alarm, he was nearby. He ran over to
confront the intruder, and apparently they started brawling. Now, normally
(11:46):
you would probably give the the.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Guy with the axe a little bit of edge in
a fight like that.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Normally you'd be like, oh, okay, let you know, size
that guy upsides that guy up. I'm gonna give it
to the dude with the acts, right right. Not in
this case, the pastor was gouy named Nick Naves. He's
got a pretty good background and I don't know kickboxing,
jiu jitsu, a.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Bunch of other em may stuff. Oh okay, So he
was able to whoop that dude's ass.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Held him for like fifteen minutes without doing really any
harm to him. Uh, he was arrested some unclear what
the charges are, but he's gonna be facing a bunch
of them. Hey, the Lord works some mysterious ways.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Was this pastor unarmed or did he have sun armed
or do you have something like none?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Chucks? Shut up's good? He throwing nuns at him, making
it a habit.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh shut up, all right? So shop with the cop events.
We see him all the time at Christmas time and
without fail. Every year we have a story where some
moron gets picked up for shoplifting during a Shop with
the Cop event.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's as predictable as Mariah Carrey at this point.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
She recorded that song in nineteen ninety four, nineteen ninety six.
It wasn't a number one single till like twenty sixteen
or nineteen or something. Yeah, I guess some facts of
Christmas songs. I saw that earlier today I was like, wow,
I guess shows you how longevity runs into Mariah Carey camp.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But she's anyway.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
The Shop of the Cop event is just something that
notoriously has some dumbass shoplifting in it. And this guy,
this happened in Virginia, their annual Shop of the cob event.
Now it's funny because remember the stab of Walmart came
up to the cops and informed them that there was
a shoplifting in progress, like they had on camera. Guy
(13:44):
shoplifted and he was there while I don't know, forty
unlike forty like patrol cars were out in front and
they weren't unmarked. There was fifty uniform personnel inside the
Walmart taking kids shopping with the cops, fifty.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Of them in their full full dress.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Full outfits.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Sheriff police state they had them all there, right, so
all these shop with the cop events.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You got fifty uniformed police officers there.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
There are forty marked police cars in the parking lot,
and this dumb ass decides this a great time to
go shopless. Between the Sheriff's department and other police officers,
they're more than fifty uniform personnel at the store. Security
footage showed a man concealing merchandise and the attimpted to
(14:35):
leave the store. Police said, as we approach him from
different directions, they all with all yeah. The man tried
to scape out the back of the store.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
He was apprehended.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Police were stunned that the man identified his thirty two
year old Hector d. Velesquez, even at temph of the crime,
giving the overwhelming police presidence visible both inside now outside
of the store. He said, we had forty marked patrol
cars in the front of the store.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Uh so he would have had to see him. It
just looks like it didn't matter to him.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Mountain this guy uh by the Squez Maldonado is his
last name. He was trying to have active warrants for
failure to appear in court on previous shoplifting charges as
well as open larceny cases a few other charges. Now
he's got a few other family charges tacked on. Two
at the grand larceny police aided stone or pocketed fourteen
(15:36):
hundred dollars worth of items.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh wow. He probably thought all the cops are just
too distracted dealing with the shop with the deal.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But I mean, how how dumb can you be?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Like every single year we get a shop with a
cop shoplifting story from all these idiots decided that was
the prime time going to shoplifting spree, only get busted
by I don't know fifty.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Plus cops in the building.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Imagine that dude being surrounded like, oh, Kingle that way,
Cale that way, Cagle that way.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Not looking good for me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
There are cops everywhere.
One seven nine kbp I and your show time for
stupid Stories.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, yeah, you are stupid stories brought to you.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
By It's a Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's Giving Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Yeah, give your favorite charity or five to one C
three of your choice. Giving Tuesday, Pay a forward, help
out saw, it's a good week for that. Uh, let's see.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's also National green Bean Castro Day and oh say
something else too? What else is it? There's some other
weird holiday associated with it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I feel like Ozzie should get something related to feel
like Ozzy Day, you know, like go pee on the
Alamo Day or bite a bat Day or something like that,
you know, or just gibberous day.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
All right, let's get to a two. Many wear and reflect.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
The vest and a hard hats entered the stadium in
Texas with fake construction credentials and apparently using some pretty
pun packed names.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Did you see their names?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh? Really need? The names are the best part, all right.
One of their names Harry as Crack. Oh no a
z c r A c Harry as Crack. The second
one Duncan d u n c A n Duncan.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I don't where this is going.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No Duncan mcchanner. Yeah, yeah, kind of what I was expecting.
I care who you are. That's funny. That is funny.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Uh. More than three thousand fake Gibson electric guitars shipped
from Asia were seized at a port. Oh it happened
to LA so it was seized by agents. So look,
if you're getting them, If you think you're getting the
Gibson guitar for Christmas, you might want double check. The
(02:02):
Gibsons are made of what like Nashville and Illinois, right, Montiana?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, okay, they're all made here in America. They should
be coming through a port, right right.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Asia specifically, they're all made in Nashville and Montana.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So yeah, not.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Gonna be a real Gibson if it's coming from Asia,
especially three thousand.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Of them, all right.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
So look, it looks like Stowly brand vodkis filed for bankruptcy.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Stoly Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Nancy Pelosi not doing enough drinking Apparently nowadays, some woman,
an influencer, is upset and claims she's embarrassed because Targets
self checkout lanes sniffed on her for having too many items.
Oh no, she got busted twice doing it. So no, surprise.
They went back looked at they looked at this woman's
(02:52):
own videos on TikTok, and they went back to the
the cash registers that day, pulled up her things and
it just ratted her out because she's she got busted
for stealing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Now she got busted for her theft again. Idiot people, stupid.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Let's see a couple.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Of stories where somebody, look, I think this is pretty rad.
I wanted to do that. I think everybody, at least
every guy has wanted or thought about.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Stealing ATM man or how much money's in that bitch?
You know what. I'm like, hmmm, but how would you
get it open? Normally?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Cameras around A couple of stories about that somebody in
Washington stole an excavator.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
To steal an ATM.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
They used the excavator to break out, uproot the ATM,
the load of the ATM in the back of a truck,
which led police on a chase before they got away.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
There's the problem. You just need to break it open
there on the scene and grab what you right out.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Here's another story. This one's out of Australia. According to
Victoria Police, this happened just before five am on Saturday,
November thirtieth. Video it shows a vehicle crashing in and
through the doors of the mall, then driving inside the
shopping center. Police say at least seven businesses sustained significant damages.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
The offenders then ran the vehicle into.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
A kiosk that had the atm They stole a safe,
fleeing the scene in an unknown direction to travel. This
is the dumbest part of the story. You're ate for
this the last ends of the story. No one was
inside the shopping center at the time. Need I remind
you that it was at four point thirty in the morning.
(04:38):
Of course nobody was there. Idiots says no local arrests.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Have been made.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Funny, let's see another story about well guys fellas tom
to throw old Yeller away. Doctors have issued a warning,
I'm sleeping on those nasty yellow pillows.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh yellow pillows. Huh do you have one of those?
I don't know why guys tend to get hung up
on their old yellow stained pillow, but there's.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Plenty of doctors that come out and say, hey, you
probably need to launder that pillow, at least try to
wash it. But if it's really stained yellow that's well,
that's all kinds of stuff that's sliva and drool along
with sweat, natural oils. That's stuff that might live and
thrive in. So probably like probably time to throw old
(05:35):
yellow awave.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's that bad. Yeah, if you have a MyPillow, those
are great.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Those are great, and they're washable and.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
We uh we got my pillows and uh god, we
love them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Man, we just got them like three weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, they're fantastic.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
It's so funny because they come flat as hell. You're like, well,
that's a damn rip off, but you don't. You don't
use them right out of the box. You got to
throw them in the in the dryer for like twenty
minutes and then they go poof yep, and all the
material just go poof, comes live in it and you
go watch them.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Hell, we've watched there's a few times since then. Sorry,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
They're a little pricier than a standard pillow, not.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Anymore if they last forever.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Now they got they're gonna sell right now fourteen dollars
every one of them. Oh wow, even king sized pillows
right now. It's crazy. I'm like, well, that's cheaper than Walmart.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Pillows.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
All right, Disney World that temporarily shut down this Haunter
Mansion ride over the weekend. Uh uh so a guest
scattered their loved ones ashes on the ride. Oh, I mean,
I get the sentiment, but damn, y'all don't realize this
is gonna end up, you know, in the trash. It's
(06:44):
not clear how long it shut down for an employee
post about it on Reddit. They said, as I write,
this Haunter Mansion is down to being evacuated due to
somebody spreading human ashes on the ride. They're going to
say it's a dumb thing to do the person's ashes, Well,
just d'up with the trash. Your loved one's asses are
going to be vacuumed up in a bucket with mass
droppings and thrown in the garbage. They also said it
(07:09):
was definitely caught on videos that the person will likely
get banned from all Disney parks.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Did they say how much? Is it the entire contents
of this person?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
No, they didn't say how much, but enough apparently you
shut down the whole damn ride, right, it was just
a little.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I don't think they would.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I think that's the proper way to do it like
a little tiny shit.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, yeah, I mean just yeah. I mean no, it's
a scatteral hole. There's a lot there, you know, Like,
wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Make it more of a symbolic thing than a here's
where you're going to remain forever.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Thing, right, I mean, besides, do it a place that
doesn't affect everybody else that day. You know, like it's
one thing, you know, it's you, your immediate family, friends, whatever,
but it's another thing toffect everybody else, especially a Disney World.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
A little bit in the flower bed out front, not
a problem, right, the ride a little different?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Well, let's peak the rides.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Look if Margeritaville was a place, they need to hire
some dermatologists. This forty year old man showed up oh A,
Texas with severe it says severe burnie rash on both
his hands that he developed two days earlier.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Now how severe, you may ask, how severe? How severe?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Listen to this a couple of days earlier, this guy.
It's weird because it reads a couple of days later,
this guy's hands blistered. A few weeks after that, skin
dark and scaled. The skin of his hands have finally
returned to normal, but lime juice and sunlight was the
(08:49):
culprit sunlight, Lime.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Juice and sunlight. Now I'm sure you're like lime juice.
Here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Turns out this guy I had this nasty skin eruption
because he manually says he manually squeezed a lime.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Oh, heaven forbid, as opposed to putting it in a juicer.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I guess as supposed to.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know the bitch ass way put it in a
machine and use a lever. Yeah, that's how you squeeze
the line, man, damn with your damn hand like a
man and wring it out right.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Come on, man, everybody knows that. Please hand me the
lime squeezer so I could squeeze some lime on my case. Ada,
shut up, He said.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
He manually squeezed a lime several times and then headed
to an outdoor soccer game in parentheses without applying sunscreen.
What bitch ass state this anyway? His doctors diagnosed the
man with you ready for this Fido photo dermatitis.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh doesn't sound fun.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Fial photo dermatitis. What the hell's that?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
According to a case report, it's conditions caused by toxic
substances found in plants that reacted with UV light and
they cause a burning, blistering, scaling, a discolored pigment in
the skin condition.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Okay, sounds severe.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
But come on, man, like if you if a full
grown man can't squeeze a lime nowadays without getting I
don't know, some serious skin condition, drag your ass into
Rocky Mountain Men's Clinican.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Go get a te shot for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I don't think this is a tea issue.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, it definitely is. It's weak lotioning.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Hands sounds like a science experiment.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And so soft it breaks out when lime juice hits it.
Come on, man, there is no doubt that dude suffering
from low.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Te lime juice. Please.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
All right, So, if you're a thief, a burglar California,
well you probably should consider what or who you're robbing first.
And I see where this is one of the situations
where you could probably think, oh, it's just a church
going person or a pastor or youth minister.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
How badass could they be? I'm go rob this church.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Okay, Well, the dude in California got a little bit
more than he bargained for it. He breaks into church
with an axe. Oh wow, scary the pastor. However, he
heard the alarm, he was nearby. He ran over to
confront the intruder, and apparently they started brawling. Now, normally
(11:46):
you would probably give the the.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Guy with the axe a little bit of edge in
a fight like that.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Normally you'd be like, oh, okay, let you know, size
that guy upsides that guy up. I'm gonna give it
to the dude with the acts, right right. Not in
this case, the pastor was gouy named Nick Naves. He's
got a pretty good background and I don't know kickboxing,
jiu jitsu, a.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Bunch of other em may stuff. Oh okay, So he
was able to whoop that dude's ass.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Held him for like fifteen minutes without doing really any
harm to him. Uh, he was arrested some unclear what
the charges are, but he's gonna be facing a bunch
of them. Hey, the Lord works some mysterious ways.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Was this pastor unarmed or did he have sun armed
or do you have something like none?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Chucks? Shut up's good? He throwing nuns at him, making
it a habit.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh shut up, all right? So shop with the cop events.
We see him all the time at Christmas time and
without fail. Every year we have a story where some
moron gets picked up for shoplifting during a Shop with
the Cop event.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's as predictable as Mariah Carrey at this point.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
She recorded that song in nineteen ninety four, nineteen ninety six.
It wasn't a number one single till like twenty sixteen
or nineteen or something. Yeah, I guess some facts of
Christmas songs. I saw that earlier today I was like, wow,
I guess shows you how longevity runs into Mariah Carey camp.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But she's anyway.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
The Shop of the Cop event is just something that
notoriously has some dumbass shoplifting in it. And this guy,
this happened in Virginia, their annual Shop of the cob event.
Now it's funny because remember the stab of Walmart came
up to the cops and informed them that there was
a shoplifting in progress, like they had on camera. Guy
(13:44):
shoplifted and he was there while I don't know, forty
unlike forty like patrol cars were out in front and
they weren't unmarked. There was fifty uniform personnel inside the
Walmart taking kids shopping with the cops, fifty.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Of them in their full full dress.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Full outfits.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Sheriff police state they had them all there, right, so
all these shop with the cop events.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You got fifty uniformed police officers there.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
There are forty marked police cars in the parking lot,
and this dumb ass decides this a great time to
go shopless. Between the Sheriff's department and other police officers,
they're more than fifty uniform personnel at the store. Security
footage showed a man concealing merchandise and the attimpted to
(14:35):
leave the store. Police said, as we approach him from
different directions, they all with all yeah. The man tried
to scape out the back of the store.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
He was apprehended.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Police were stunned that the man identified his thirty two
year old Hector d. Velesquez, even at temph of the crime,
giving the overwhelming police presidence visible both inside now outside
of the store. He said, we had forty marked patrol
cars in the front of the store.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Uh so he would have had to see him. It
just looks like it didn't matter to him.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Mountain this guy uh by the Squez Maldonado is his
last name. He was trying to have active warrants for
failure to appear in court on previous shoplifting charges as
well as open larceny cases a few other charges. Now
he's got a few other family charges tacked on. Two
at the grand larceny police aided stone or pocketed fourteen
(15:36):
hundred dollars worth of items.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh wow. He probably thought all the cops are just
too distracted dealing with the shop with the deal.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But I mean, how how dumb can you be?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Like every single year we get a shop with a
cop shoplifting story from all these idiots decided that was
the prime time going to shoplifting spree, only get busted
by I don't know fifty.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Plus cops in the building.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Imagine that dude being surrounded like, oh, Kingle that way,
Cale that way, Cagle that way.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Not looking good for me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
There are cops everywhere.
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