December 3, 2025 • 10 mins
A Raccoon got trashed at a liquor store, then passes out in the bathroom.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KBPI and your show time for
stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stal that Yeah all stop, Yeah you are stupid stories
brought to.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You by so Monday with Cyber Monday and with two
day shipping, that means today is porch Pirate Wednesday. Oooo.
All right, stay away from my porch.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Get off my porch. So bad news?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Are candle lovers love candles? What's the bad news?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Parent company of Yankee Candle is in troublemen. They're laying
out hundreds of workers, closing a Yankee candle store near
you too, man, They're all you gotta be Look, let's
be honest. It's twenty twenty five. You gotta sell a
lot of candles that have a candle store, right, you
know it's not something that you said, like, Hey, I'm
gonna open a candle store and everybody looks at you
(00:51):
like a damn Are you sure? Like that's a little
that's tough, right?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
And those Yankee candles are expensive for the little bit
that you get in there. Yeah, man, i'd see why
people need the value. Ikea I have found has the
best value on like pillar candles.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
See, I'm not going to Ikea at all. You know
where I'm going to Walmart because I'm already there getting food.
All right, Christmas Tree Farm in New Jersey, all right,
set that sets the scene, right, it's set a Christmas
tree farm and say Kansas.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
No, but we're ready for the Hallmark movie of the
week here.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, they're getting some backlash because well they're selling spray
painted Christmas trees. Now here's the deal, though, they embrace
the disgrace they sell well, they sell different colored trees.
They sell pink trees, purple trees, light blue trees, turquoise trees,
(01:52):
magenta trees, red tree, even black trees. They sell black trees.
So apparently some people. Look, some people are all like,
you're disrespecting Christmas. Or there's a whole bunch of people
saying that they're bringing hazardous chemicals into their homes. Yeah,
but you do that every time you open up a
box of processed food. Ladies, shut up.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
In the tree. Isn't your worst thing you brought into
the house.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I'm like, you know what, so what let him do it?
Pink trees. Hey, you want a pink tree, Go have
a pink tree. I don't care. It's not my house.
You like the dummy, But people get all upset relaxed.
There's several other things that you get stressed about in
the world. The color of somebody else's Christmas tree shouldn't
bother you.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right, you don't like it by the green one? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I hears story about a drunk ninety year old woman
in California. Somebow survived. Oh no, it's not of your
old man. Somebody's survived that a crashing his car into
a coffee shop on Thanksgiving. Thankfully the shop was closed
at a time. But I mean, I look at it
like this, This dude's ninety years old. Man ninety, he's not,
(03:02):
and he's driving, maybe not for much longer, but he's
driving at ninety, and it's a holiday. He probably he
probably put down. I mean, let's be honest, A nine
year old can't wait a buck thirty. He'd probably put
down a little Christmas cheer, little Thanksgiving cheer, drink whatever.
I got a little two house. I think we give
(03:23):
this due to break he's ninety, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do we let him drive again?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
That's questionable, right, that part I could question. However, man,
you know he's ninety. I feel like the court will
be like yo, man, go home, you don't drive anymore
and enjoy the next you know, eight months in your life.
Oh but yeah, man, put a nine year road in jail.
(03:48):
I can't do.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
That your final insurance payment.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Right right, that's funny. So GameStop announced the customer to
Texas traded in a Pokemon trading card for thirty thousand,
five hundred dollars, marking marking the most valuable single trade
in ever recorded in game stops history.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So is that what it's worth or is that what
they gave him for it?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
That's what they game for.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, so that card's probably worth fifty fifty sixty Yeah, yeah,
because game Stop they undercut you like crazy there.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah. But I mean, dude, I traded in a couple
of sub sandwiches that inspired last year. He got, you know,
forty three cents in credit. No, you can trade it
in anything and they'll give you credit for it, right,
It's crazy. So I'm just you're blown away that they did.
I'm blown away that there's a Pokemon card worth thirty
thousand dollars to be honest, it's crazy. A Pokemon card, y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah, thirty thousands and even one of the best way
I know.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's wild.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Man.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Those stupid cards are now worth so much freaking money, right,
that's that's just bananas, all right, man, here's a good
got your trick. I can't believe this moron fell for it.
It's happening in Indiana. Police Sport officials say a man's
in jail on robbery and unloveable handgun possession charges. Officials
(05:11):
say they got call and this kyler reported that her
boyfriend was robbed of his firearm. We listen to what is.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Of course, the girlfriend has to call up because the
boyfriend's all embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, and he should be, please say, the victim and
did this. He gave the gun to this Johnson guy unloaded.
Johnson then asked for the magazine to see how much
the gun weighed loaded. So this moron gave the dude
(05:45):
the clip. And of course whatd this Johnson guy do.
We would put the clip in the gun and it
poured the gun at the victim and said you're not
gonna be getting your gun back and just walked off,
please say. Johnson fled the scene, but was later located
by officers and taking in custody. He's got all kinds
of prior criminal convictions, and he's prohibited from possessing the firearm,
(06:08):
so he's just you know, he's got the book thrown
at him. But damn, dude, you fell for that. You
can't fall for that.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Well, that's it. That come feels pretty good in my hand.
But what's it feel like with some bullets in it?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
No, man, let me see what it feels like with
a clip in it. At what point do you go
maybe this is a scam? Geez, come on man, what yo?
Let me take this bike for a test drive, all right?
Proof that Philly folks are the hardest. Philadelphia Police is
searching for the thieves who stole personal items from private
(06:42):
vehicles as firefighters fought well a house on fire Crews
were working to douse the flames and somebody, somebody went
through their gear and they took all these personal items,
cutting keys, and the firefighter's car that was parked back
of this station. So damn they went through the firefighters
(07:04):
gear while they were fighting the fire. They're in the
back of the truck going through all their personal stuff,
and they go to the fire station and then rob them. Oh,
they're like stuffing their robbing one dude's cars. He took
his car and everything in it, Like, damn, that's that's
next level. Here's some sports like celebrities, who's you know,
(07:27):
homes get robbed when they're on an away game. Right now,
you got people waiting at police stations. It's crazy. Animal
control officers near Richmond, Virginia, shared photos after a male
raccoon broke into a liquor store last Friday. I mean, raccoons.
Out of all the animals that you would like to
(07:48):
see drink, the raccoons is up there.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah. They are the lush of the animal community.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And they look so cute doing it, you know, but
you totally see them going vindictive in evil right and
of all the end I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
they're cute now, but when they get drunk, they're a
whole different animal. So this raccoon breaks into liquid store.
He got hammered, passed out the bathroom apparently, and the
employee found him sprout out of bathroom floorid await. The
(08:16):
next morning, he knocked a bunch of bottles off the shelves,
and obviously when the bottles hit the floor, what happens.
They break. So this raccoon was like, well, well, I'm
not gonna let that whiskey go to waste. So it
starts just lapping it up, and he apparently overserved himself
(08:37):
in a significant way. He took in some gin, some whiskey.
They described him as quote very intoxicated, this raccoon. So
I guess they took it to an animal shelter where
the raccoon was allowed to sleep it off for a
few hours. They released it back in the wild. There
were zero signs of injury for the rack. It's got ouse.
(09:03):
It's pretty funny, totally see raccoon doing that.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
He'll be back.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, he's doing coming tomorrow. I think it was more
of that bourbon and whiskey. Whatever it was. Man, that's funny,
that big mail raccoon. They're they're normally intimidating because those
things can fight.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Man, they're smart too. They'll figure out what alcohol they
really like and that's gonna be the target.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Hilarious. All right, Three people got arrested in Florida Keys
last Saturday after they were caught well getting it on
in a supermarket parking lot. Now, it's funny because it
wasn't like it was around like midnight or you know
ten pm. This happened just before.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Noon, oh, well afternoon de light.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah. The consisted of forty five year old woman, forty
three year old man, a fifty nine year old man.
All three were drunk. They were charged thisarly contoxication. He's
an exposure lude conduct in public. The woman named Sharon
was also charged with resisting without violence. Police say Sharon
(10:09):
has done this type of thing before. Oh, she was
arrested for similar public conduct just a couple of months ago.
Different dudes.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Wow, wow, Sharon likes sharing guys.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Huh samn Sharon, Yeah, apparently likes we were thinking. You know,
almost any grocery store is kind of well, when you
think about it under that lens and guys, it kind
of fits man right, Whole Foods.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, I betly, Oh you do.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
The pigley wigglely. He definitely need a shower Kroger. I
don't even know where
One o seven nine KBPI and your show time for
stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stal that Yeah all stop, Yeah you are stupid stories
brought to.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You by so Monday with Cyber Monday and with two
day shipping, that means today is porch Pirate Wednesday. Oooo.
All right, stay away from my porch.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Get off my porch. So bad news?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Are candle lovers love candles? What's the bad news?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Parent company of Yankee Candle is in troublemen. They're laying
out hundreds of workers, closing a Yankee candle store near
you too, man, They're all you gotta be Look, let's
be honest. It's twenty twenty five. You gotta sell a
lot of candles that have a candle store, right, you
know it's not something that you said, like, Hey, I'm
gonna open a candle store and everybody looks at you
(00:51):
like a damn Are you sure? Like that's a little
that's tough, right?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
And those Yankee candles are expensive for the little bit
that you get in there. Yeah, man, i'd see why
people need the value. Ikea I have found has the
best value on like pillar candles.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
See, I'm not going to Ikea at all. You know
where I'm going to Walmart because I'm already there getting food.
All right, Christmas Tree Farm in New Jersey, all right,
set that sets the scene, right, it's set a Christmas
tree farm and say Kansas.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
No, but we're ready for the Hallmark movie of the
week here.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, they're getting some backlash because well they're selling spray
painted Christmas trees. Now here's the deal, though, they embrace
the disgrace they sell well, they sell different colored trees.
They sell pink trees, purple trees, light blue trees, turquoise trees,
(01:52):
magenta trees, red tree, even black trees. They sell black trees.
So apparently some people. Look, some people are all like,
you're disrespecting Christmas. Or there's a whole bunch of people
saying that they're bringing hazardous chemicals into their homes. Yeah,
but you do that every time you open up a
box of processed food. Ladies, shut up.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
In the tree. Isn't your worst thing you brought into
the house.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I'm like, you know what, so what let him do it?
Pink trees. Hey, you want a pink tree, Go have
a pink tree. I don't care. It's not my house.
You like the dummy, But people get all upset relaxed.
There's several other things that you get stressed about in
the world. The color of somebody else's Christmas tree shouldn't
bother you.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right, you don't like it by the green one? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I hears story about a drunk ninety year old woman
in California. Somebow survived. Oh no, it's not of your
old man. Somebody's survived that a crashing his car into
a coffee shop on Thanksgiving. Thankfully the shop was closed
at a time. But I mean, I look at it
like this, This dude's ninety years old. Man ninety, he's not,
(03:02):
and he's driving, maybe not for much longer, but he's
driving at ninety, and it's a holiday. He probably he
probably put down. I mean, let's be honest, A nine
year old can't wait a buck thirty. He'd probably put
down a little Christmas cheer, little Thanksgiving cheer, drink whatever.
I got a little two house. I think we give
(03:23):
this due to break he's ninety, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do we let him drive again?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
That's questionable, right, that part I could question. However, man,
you know he's ninety. I feel like the court will
be like yo, man, go home, you don't drive anymore
and enjoy the next you know, eight months in your life.
Oh but yeah, man, put a nine year road in jail.
(03:48):
I can't do.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
That your final insurance payment.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Right right, that's funny. So GameStop announced the customer to
Texas traded in a Pokemon trading card for thirty thousand,
five hundred dollars, marking marking the most valuable single trade
in ever recorded in game stops history.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So is that what it's worth or is that what
they gave him for it?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
That's what they game for.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, so that card's probably worth fifty fifty sixty Yeah, yeah,
because game Stop they undercut you like crazy there.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah. But I mean, dude, I traded in a couple
of sub sandwiches that inspired last year. He got, you know,
forty three cents in credit. No, you can trade it
in anything and they'll give you credit for it, right,
It's crazy. So I'm just you're blown away that they did.
I'm blown away that there's a Pokemon card worth thirty
thousand dollars to be honest, it's crazy. A Pokemon card, y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah, thirty thousands and even one of the best way
I know.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's wild.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Man.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Those stupid cards are now worth so much freaking money, right,
that's that's just bananas, all right, man, here's a good
got your trick. I can't believe this moron fell for it.
It's happening in Indiana. Police Sport officials say a man's
in jail on robbery and unloveable handgun possession charges. Officials
(05:11):
say they got call and this kyler reported that her
boyfriend was robbed of his firearm. We listen to what is.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Of course, the girlfriend has to call up because the
boyfriend's all embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, and he should be, please say, the victim and
did this. He gave the gun to this Johnson guy unloaded.
Johnson then asked for the magazine to see how much
the gun weighed loaded. So this moron gave the dude
(05:45):
the clip. And of course whatd this Johnson guy do.
We would put the clip in the gun and it
poured the gun at the victim and said you're not
gonna be getting your gun back and just walked off,
please say. Johnson fled the scene, but was later located
by officers and taking in custody. He's got all kinds
of prior criminal convictions, and he's prohibited from possessing the firearm,
(06:08):
so he's just you know, he's got the book thrown
at him. But damn, dude, you fell for that. You
can't fall for that.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Well, that's it. That come feels pretty good in my hand.
But what's it feel like with some bullets in it?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
No, man, let me see what it feels like with
a clip in it. At what point do you go
maybe this is a scam? Geez, come on man, what yo?
Let me take this bike for a test drive, all right?
Proof that Philly folks are the hardest. Philadelphia Police is
searching for the thieves who stole personal items from private
(06:42):
vehicles as firefighters fought well a house on fire Crews
were working to douse the flames and somebody, somebody went
through their gear and they took all these personal items,
cutting keys, and the firefighter's car that was parked back
of this station. So damn they went through the firefighters
(07:04):
gear while they were fighting the fire. They're in the
back of the truck going through all their personal stuff,
and they go to the fire station and then rob them. Oh,
they're like stuffing their robbing one dude's cars. He took
his car and everything in it, Like, damn, that's that's
next level. Here's some sports like celebrities, who's you know,
(07:27):
homes get robbed when they're on an away game. Right now,
you got people waiting at police stations. It's crazy. Animal
control officers near Richmond, Virginia, shared photos after a male
raccoon broke into a liquor store last Friday. I mean, raccoons.
Out of all the animals that you would like to
(07:48):
see drink, the raccoons is up there.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah. They are the lush of the animal community.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And they look so cute doing it, you know, but
you totally see them going vindictive in evil right and
of all the end I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
they're cute now, but when they get drunk, they're a
whole different animal. So this raccoon breaks into liquid store.
He got hammered, passed out the bathroom apparently, and the
employee found him sprout out of bathroom floorid await. The
(08:16):
next morning, he knocked a bunch of bottles off the shelves,
and obviously when the bottles hit the floor, what happens.
They break. So this raccoon was like, well, well, I'm
not gonna let that whiskey go to waste. So it
starts just lapping it up, and he apparently overserved himself
(08:37):
in a significant way. He took in some gin, some whiskey.
They described him as quote very intoxicated, this raccoon. So
I guess they took it to an animal shelter where
the raccoon was allowed to sleep it off for a
few hours. They released it back in the wild. There
were zero signs of injury for the rack. It's got ouse.
(09:03):
It's pretty funny, totally see raccoon doing that.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
He'll be back.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, he's doing coming tomorrow. I think it was more
of that bourbon and whiskey. Whatever it was. Man, that's funny,
that big mail raccoon. They're they're normally intimidating because those
things can fight.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Man, they're smart too. They'll figure out what alcohol they
really like and that's gonna be the target.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Hilarious. All right, Three people got arrested in Florida Keys
last Saturday after they were caught well getting it on
in a supermarket parking lot. Now, it's funny because it
wasn't like it was around like midnight or you know
ten pm. This happened just before.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Noon, oh, well afternoon de light.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah. The consisted of forty five year old woman, forty
three year old man, a fifty nine year old man.
All three were drunk. They were charged thisarly contoxication. He's
an exposure lude conduct in public. The woman named Sharon
was also charged with resisting without violence. Police say Sharon
(10:09):
has done this type of thing before. Oh, she was
arrested for similar public conduct just a couple of months ago.
Different dudes.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Wow, wow, Sharon likes sharing guys.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Huh samn Sharon, Yeah, apparently likes we were thinking. You know,
almost any grocery store is kind of well, when you
think about it under that lens and guys, it kind
of fits man right, Whole Foods.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, I betly, Oh you do.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
The pigley wigglely. He definitely need a shower Kroger. I
don't even know where
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