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December 10, 2025 4 mins
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sometimes you wonder was the number one criteria to be
a member of the Donald Trump cabinet serving like the
president as a past star of reality TV or anything
on television. Think about it. Pete Hegseth Defense Secretary was
a big deal on Fox News Channel. Mike Huckabee Ambassador
to Israel, Mehmet Oz from DHHS, Kerrie Lake, Lenna McMahon,

(00:22):
Janeine Pyro, Kimberly Gilfoyle, and of course Sean Duffy, same
guy who before growing up and serving in Congress, a
dichotomy often not related by members. He produced raunchy videos,
did strip teases in one of them, and then hosted
a reality TV series. They all like to show off
how fit, trim and good looking they are, But you

(00:44):
wonder did they know anything about their jobs. Duffy called
a big news conference at Reagan National Airport in DC
this week, complete with props, to announce the spending of
one billion taxpayer dollars to make airports giant club meds.
He wants airports to be more user friendly, family friendly,
food friendly, and workout friendly. He's giving airports all over

(01:08):
the country the chance to apply for grant money for
workout gear stair steppers, universal machines, treadmills. We already have
to show up three hours early for that flight to
Ford Lauderdale. But rather than just sit there and wait,
he says, work out, break a sweat, burn off the calories.
Excuse me. Duffy was serious, and he proved it by
pulling off the necktie and doing ten pull ups. And

(01:32):
he said, see how easy that was, and look at me,
I'm huge. But wait, there's more. He looked around at
the mall of poison booths known as airport restaurants. It's true,
the food we eat in these places is nutritionally bankrupt,
sugar bombs, preservatives everywhere. Airports truly are where the good
diets go to die. But do we really want Uncle

(01:54):
Sam following us around terminal d at lunchtime? Haven't we
been through this with the queen mother of bad food,
Michelle Obama. Duffy also thinks we've lost our manners when
traveling a generation to go, you travel, you dress like
it's a job, interview suits and ties for guys, dresses
and makeup for ladies. Duffy was also evoking a time

(02:16):
when seats were comfortable, hot meals were served planes arrived
and departed on time, and the attendants were hot. So
I get it. Let's make sure we're in our Sunday
best when the wings fly off the seven thirty seven
and there's no Petko flimsy to tell the pilot we're
flying directly into another plane. Today most of us dress

(02:37):
like extras from pirates of the Caribbean, replete with support
animals in tow, ranging from pigs and peacocks to wolverines.
For a reason, the deregulated airlines have made flying a
form of Stockholm syndrome. The waiting, the discomfort on the plane,
the nickel and diming for six stale pretzels. And that's

(02:57):
before I get back home, when I'll need a kosine
just to get my car out of the parking lot.
Nobody forced to travel by plane looks forward to it anymore.
And now we should be exercising to ease the pain.
That's just what we need. At O'Hare, a sweaty forty
five year old trying to trim down for the high
school reunion between connections, leaving the piebald goat unattended. Then

(03:20):
sure enough she plops down right next to me in
coach no big deal. Ever been in a locker room
at halftime of a girl's high school basketball game. The
whole idea, while ideal, is a waste of time and money.
Most airports don't have the room for this stuff, couldn't
afford the liability insurance in the event Miss Piggy here

(03:41):
falls off the treadmill or her support wolverine gets loose
and chews off Little Timmy Skullnik's left arm. Waiting for
flight far Awaight to Des Moines. Duffy thinks this will
make flying recreational. He's wrong. Just let us be in there,
Let us hate ourselves for a day as we travel
to and fro. Leave us alone as we blow up

(04:01):
a healthy diet, just to medicate against the pain of
being in there. Save the billion
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