Full Show Replay- Comedian Maz Jobrani! Kentucky Derby Funnies, Star Wars Day Funnies. (Ep 1362)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Caush you by your back out of upside. Oh hard crash,
Oh you'll see that off and Phil Sally rubs. Boy,
he did a good job getting m up and getting
out of there. Lay it all on my crew. I
wound up Suscott. I've got no praise.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
At the last car racing whoa long long?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
I'll have you know we're not French.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Just drink not to be such an idiot.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Actually, I'm just talking hypothetically. I'm embarrassed both of us.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, if you're faty looking stupid, you'll never have anybody.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
You want me to bend novos? You can smacking with
that paddle?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Are you crazy?

Speaker 4 (00:38):
I thought that menu were nuts?

Speaker 5 (00:40):
Are you not? These people are nuts?

Speaker 4 (00:42):
That guy is nuts.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
You're nuts. They're kind of nuts? Are you nuts? I'm
oh nut? I must have him out. Leave my nuts
out of it because it's day. I have a lot
of anger. He's gone fetal again. Oh I do love

(01:05):
that show Without you, there's no show that the show,
there's no celebration.

Speaker 6 (01:09):
Of songs are very catchy, very catchy. I can't get
the feeling out of my head. Also annoying point.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
With special I don't want to be cooked up in
that office.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Well, well, well we made it. It is Friday air min.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
It is going to be a crazy busy weekend.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yes it is, Yes, it is. And of course we
got sports of all sorts coming up. Oh no, probably
heard by now. The Stars got their ass handed to
than last night.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
It means a Game seven tomorrow night in Dallas.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I am a nervous wreck. I just hate Game seven.
Why couldn't we put them away? Never mind?

Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah, this is a must win situation. If we lose tomorrow,
season's over.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's it. And it was a great season. It's winner
goes on, loser goes home. Yep. And now that the
Lakers are eliminated, I don't really give a rats ask
about the NBA playoffs anymore because I wanted them to
win it all for Luca.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Yeah, me too, the Luca Lakers.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
That's it. That's it. Well, and of course, Mas, your
Bronni eor Old buddy is gonna stop by today and
we have more of those NASCAR tickets of Family four
packed to the Worth four hundred race Sunday at Texas
Motors Speedway, their.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
Grand stand tickets, and you're going to qualify for that
VIP experience that includes track passages.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Uhha, just don't get in the way of the pit crew.
Oh no, not at all. Don't want to do that,
Are you serious? Yeah? Well, according to one of our rescueals.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
I already sent him a birthday.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Ry James, Happy birth Ray James Birthday Day? Why I got?
I got? He's eleven today.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yeah, thank you, Annabelle, miss you too, all right, we
miss your buddy.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, let's see what we're celebrating today. Not only are
we celebrating Rainey's birthday, it's also International Space Day, the
mysterious unknown that only a few people have ever gone to.
I'm sure we can think of several other people who
should be sent there and left there. It is also
baby Day, when when when we were all one at

(03:41):
one time, and there's a lot of people who still
act like one. All but very true. It is Brothers
and Sisters Day, as for all of you who grew
up with one. I only had a brother, but I
always thought it'd be cool to have a sister too.

Speaker 4 (03:54):
You know, I'll be your sister.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Be okay, well you are n This is my late
sister's hoodie. Oh he said hoodie right he yah? Damn? Yeah,
thank you Roth. By the way, it's also National Player
Ukulele Day. I don't have one, but if I did,
i'd play it for it.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
I bought one in Hawaii and still haven't.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'll play it. It would suck, So let's move on.
And as long as we're talking about musical instruments, it's
also International Tuba Day. Ukulele you can whip out of
the party and play it. Nobody will stick their fingers
in their ears. However, you bring a tuba to a party,
whip it out, everybody looks at you and says, wow,
look at the time, I gotta go to work. I

(04:39):
see y'all later. I think it takes up the whole
living room here. I'm going to go outside. It is
also No Pants Day. If you show up at the
same party with no pants on, that's when everybody will
leave without saying a single word. It is National Fire Day.
Now we use it all the time for several reason,

(05:00):
but once you get burned by it, you'll be a
lot more careful than next time you use it.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
So it's also Fire safety Day, right, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Default National Life Insurance Day, which is a company basically
saying you bet one hundreds of dollars a month to
you die, that you won't die, and we'll come out
ahead when you do die.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
And the people that benefit are your family members.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
That's the ones you leave behind. Yeah, and since it's Friday,
let's all get a buzz on. It's International Savignon Bank Day. Cheers.
We're this close to being whyos as it is right
now it is, and.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
It's Single to Mayo weekend. I know Single to Mayo
isn't until Monday, but there's gonna be all sorts of
celebrations this weekend around the Metro Place.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh yeah, we have a whole show for Sinkle to
Maayo on Monday. Yeah. Great. And then on Sunday, when
we're at Texas Motor Speedway, it's Star Wars Day, May
the fourth, bewich the Rangers.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
Are having a Star Wars Day. They have a special
Mandalorian bobblehead Kumar Rocker Mandalorian.

Speaker 5 (06:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Now, if they only start winning, you oh jeez. All right,
so we got to look at sports of all sorts
speaking of us bitching about losing. And then it's the
freaking Full File and then the wheels officially come off
of this show on a product we are ready. Are
we ready now to do the morning stress? Let's do it?

(06:23):
Jay right, Ram Ramdoll. Yeah, I gotta give the text
to the boar right now? Okay, is everybody rubbing the
sleep out of their eyes and crashing where you need.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
To do it?

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Well? Then here you go. Yeah, rock and roll fantasy, Yes,
Nancy Wilson.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Nick, I'm just saying alrighty then.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Dallas, what was classic rock lone Star ninety two to five?
It is six thirty time for Sports of the.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
US, and it's brought to you by the Will Height
Law Firm. Injury lawyers go to Will Heightwinds dot com.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Damn, the thing we feel could happen did happen. The
Dallas Stars lost to the Chicago Avalanche seven to four
last night, which now forces a game seven tomorrow night
at the American Airline Center. Nathan McKinnon got credit for
a go ahead goal with ten to fifty six remaining
after the puck bounced off the shoulder of a Dallas

(07:20):
player and passed Jake Ottinger as Colorado avoided elimination. In fact,
it happened twice. Yeah. Here is coach Pete de Boor
talking about it.

Speaker 5 (07:29):
Teams are so evenly matched. You know, if you're going
to go into a game and you're going two goals
are going to go in off your own players, it's
gonna be tough to win that night.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah, and you didn't. Damn it was the bounce that
kept the Avalanche from being bounced. Now, Pete Duboor is
eight andero all time in game sevens, while the Avalanche
have lost the lack six times they've been in the
decisive seventh game of the series. That sounds all well
and good, but US Stars fans are really nervous about
tomorrow night deciding game because we shine one. Yes. Now

(08:03):
the winner goes on, loser goes home. The puck will
drop at seven o'clock. Come on, Stars, don't be making
mistakes and have goals for bouncing off your own players.
But he needs to be wearing victory green tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Damn right, Hey, ladies, time to get your goofy looking
hats out because it's Kentucky Derby time again. More than
one hundred thousand fans are going to flock to Churchill
Downs for the twenty twenty five Kentucky Derby tomorrow, with
post time at five point fifty seven pm hour time.
This year's run for the Roses features a strong field
highlighted by a horse named Journalism, the three to one

(08:39):
favorite in the latest odds. However, the favorite has failed
to win the last six editions of the Kentucky Derby.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Oh just thinking that every time they come out with
a favorite, they don't win, and.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
No horse bow has completed the triple crown since Justified
did it back in twenty eighteen. Now, can Journalism break
the current trend and be one of the twenty twenty
five Kentucky Derby horses to include in your twenty twenty
five Kentucky Derby bets?

Speaker 5 (09:05):
Know?

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, you just have to wait to tune in and see.
The Kentucky Derby will be broadcast live on NBC stream
via Peacock and NBC Sports dot Com, And if you
want to do it in style, you can go to
the Lone Star Park in Graham Prairie. They're having a
big Derby day tomorrow. Cool coverage begins at one thirty
tomorrow afternoon, with the main events scheduled for just minutes
before six pm.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
They start at one thirty and then they stretch it
out all the way we're talking about nothing. Oh you
gotta sit on.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
Those mint julips and show off your fancy hat.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
I get. I'll settle into your seat and good buzz
and then you hear then those hats get goofy or looking.
Every single year, sure do Lord, Lord.

Speaker 7 (09:48):
Entering the NBA playoffs, more money has been wagered on
La Lakers to win the finals and any other team,
especially after they traded.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
For Luca Luca Laker, we miss you.

Speaker 7 (09:58):
And then on Wednesday, the Lakers were knocked out of
the playoffs in the first round by the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Out that one hurt in the bottom row. I am yes.

Speaker 7 (10:08):
The Lakers are now making their off season vacation plans.
The betters are licking their wounds, and the sports books
are laughing all the weight of the band.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yes they are. Everybody was.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
No or are they headed to Galveston like tum dirty as?

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Did anybody buy any chance to see any of the
Byron Nelson golf tournament yesterday? Negative? Now if you did,
did you notice anything different about one of the favorite players?
What happened? Well? I stopped at this place in Little
Dodonne called the Angry Elephant. I'd have a Brewer two
and the Rangers were getting shut out by the A's
on one screen. The Byron was on the other screen.
When the Rangers game was over, I turned my attention

(10:49):
to the Byron Nelson's first round. Well, the number one
player in the world, our homeboy, Scotti Scheffler, was teeing
up for a shot. But you wouldn't have known it
was him. In fact, I didn't know him until they
flashed his name on the screen. Scheffler has shaved off
his beard and now he's totally unrecognizable. Wow. You know

(11:10):
when you see somebody you haven't seen the long while
and they've like dyed their hair or lost a bunch
of avis. Weird looking at them because you're used to
seeing them in a particular way and now they look
nothing like they used to. Well, that's Scotty Scheffler. Now
it may have made him play better because he's currently
tied for the lead after the first day of the tournament.

Speaker 6 (11:29):
Now.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
He had to miss the tournament last year because his
wife was having their first child. If you remember the
CJ Cup Byron Nelson tournament at TPC Craig Ranch and
McKinney is about to tee off a round two in
about forty five minutes from right now.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
Well, for the fourth time this season, as you know, Bo,
the Texas Rangers were shut out yesterday. He was at
the hands of the Athletics. A's starting pitcher Jeffrey Springs
gave up two hits in six score listenings as A's
beat Theers three to nothing yesterday.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
At Globe Lily Field.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
The Rangers have now gone seven consecutive games without hitting
a homer, matching the club's longest home run drought since
their seven game stretch back in July of twenty twenty one.
Hopefully the Rangers can snap out of it and homer
tonight when they kick off a three game series against
the Seattle Mariners at Globely Field in Arlington. First pitch tonight,

(12:23):
we'll be at seven oh five and other Rangers news.
By the way, they have placed catcher Kyle Higashioka on
the ten day injured list with a rib muscle strain.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Ow he is out for ten days at least. Yeah,
I saw some stat that they showed on the screen.
Out of seven of the last nine games the Rangers
have played, they have scored only two runs or less.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
Yeah, well on Tuesday night they had those fifteen runs,
but that was yeah fluke. When you look at it now,
that was a fluke.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yes, it was. I don't like flukes because they get
your hopes up and then you get fluked. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (12:58):
Elsewear in the Major League base World, a man, a
fan has done a humpty dumpty out of the stands
did a Peter pan almost right.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Onto his face.

Speaker 7 (13:08):
I saw that as he's in critical condition after falling
over the right field wall onto the warning track PNC
Park Wednesday evenings Pirates game. This is after a two
run double gave the Pirates a four to three lead
and inning number seven, A span a fan spilled over
the Roberto Clemente wall in right field and appeared to
lie motionless before first responders got into a hospital PDQ.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
He was twenty years old. He's identified as standout high
school football player Cavon Markwood. Mark Wood graduated from South
Allegheny High School in twenty twenty two team MVP.

Speaker 7 (13:45):
He earned first team All conference honors. He remains hospitalized
in critical condition and we're waiting for more information. Our
thoughts are with him and his family right there.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I hope the boy gets better now, but you know,
you get all over excited, you reach for a home run.
Yeah yeah, and down you go. And here's another said.
When pro rodeo Hall of famer Roy Cooper died in
a fire at his home in North Texas on Tuesday,
according to a statement from the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association,

(14:14):
he was sixty nine years old. The Wise County Messenger
reported the fire happened at about seven o'clock that night
at Cooper's home on County Road thirty to fifty one
near Decatur. His son, Tough Cooper, and Roy Cooper's other
two sons, Clint and Cliff Cooper, are all national finals
rodeo qualifiers and tie down roping. Roy Cooper's rodeo career

(14:36):
spanned more than three decades. The King of Country, George Strait,
posted a tribute on his social media accounts, calling Cooper
a good friend and his hero. Cooper was nicknamed the
Super Looper and was Rookie of the Year in nineteen
seventy six and won seven individual world championship, six in
tie down roping, one in steer roping, and one all

(14:58):
around title. He was a rodeo band. Roy Cooper was
inducted into the Pro Rodeo Hall of Fames inaugural class
in nineteen seventy one, and won the all Around world
title in nineteen eighty three. He was one of the
ten cowboys to win three world titles in the same year.
Core Guya hated to hear that. All right, get ready
because the Freaking fool File is next on the Bull

(15:20):
and Them show Dallas Forward's classic rock a Lone Star
ninety two to five Comfortably Numb, which is on my
agenda to get sometime this weekend. Don't care, just let
it happen. Let it happen. Okay, now it's time for
the freaking fool File. A seaside Massachusetts town appears to
have fallen prey to a mean ass woodpecker that has

(15:45):
damaged more than twenty cars in truck. Yeah. For weeks,
Rockport officials have dealt with broken car windshields and side mirrors,
not to mention all the bird turns all over cars
and truck. The bird is about two feet tall, about
the size of crow, and is responsible for damaging between
twenty and twenty five vehicles. There's another five, but they're

(16:07):
not sure if the woodpecker did that. Ron McGill, Zoo
Miami's communication director, said one reason for the woodpecker's aggressive
behavior could be he was really horny because it's the
peak of mating season and wood he wants to get laid.
Don't you would he that at it's un got some wood.

(16:35):
Sometimes the bird will look in the cars outside mirror
and think it's another woodpecker trying to muscle in and
steal whatever mate he was looking for, and he fights
the reflection. People who have seen that happen say it's
funny as hell until the bird starts damaging their car truck.
Then it ate quite as funny as it was. It

(16:55):
was all right, let's travel to Canada.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
Officers with the Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Police Department are reporting a
rather unusual case that saw them catch their suspect but
lose their police car. What The cops are patrolling an
area west of downtown when they encountered an intoxicated man
carrying an open bottle of liquor who walked across the road,

(17:17):
looked at the police car and took a big swig
out of his bottle, made a face at the officers,
and then ran off.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
What was he trying to get a rest. Yeah, obviously
not very mature.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
After a brief chase on foot, the officers caught him
and cuffed him. However, when they returned to their police car,
they found that someone had stolen it. Approximately fifteen minutes later,
the stolen cruiser was located in a back alley just
a few blocks north of its original location. Police are
still trying to figure out who briefly stole their car
and why they only drove it a couple of blocks

(17:51):
before abandoning it. Even better, the guy that they had
handcuffed took off running from them during the confusion, with
his hands cuffed behind him. He was arrested for public
intoxication after cops finally caught up.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
So he's running like this, We're done. You know you
should try that before you get cuffed. I just had
a video of that.

Speaker 7 (18:15):
Oh yeah, listening to Anna read that story and I'm going,
what's a Florida alcoholic doing all the way up in Canada?

Speaker 5 (18:21):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Exactly. A female robbery suspect became New York's Most Wanted
this week. The NYPD put out a poster for that
featured her.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Twirling her hair with a sexy.

Speaker 7 (18:33):
Pound on her face and an almost criminal amount of cleaveland.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Have you ever seen that picture? Lucy Laura is her name, Laura.
She's thirty four years old. L Uci E l O R. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (18:46):
She busted out of the seams a little bit. The
sultry image of thirty four year old Lucy Laura led
to her being busted by the long, sweaty hand of
the law on charges of attempting to steal her brother's
former fiancees in engagement ring and that had a big
price tag on it.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Laura is accused of telling her thirty eight year.

Speaker 7 (19:05):
Old brother, Carlos Laura Diaz, to snatch his thirty four
year old ex's ring as tensions flared inside an apartment.
It was around nine forty am about a week ago
in NYC, and Diz grabbed his ex's hand tried to
grab the ring. He failed to snatch it, but he
injured the woman's thumb in the process. Diz then allegedly
shoved the victim to the ground, causing her pain to

(19:27):
hit The cops said both took off. The cops caught
up to him around eight o'clock in the morning last
Wednesday and charges each one of them got charges second
degree attempted robbery. Wow, it's not clear where cops got
the image of Lucy Laura that they used in the
wanted poster, but it was kind of a smoke and
shot of her.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
There it is. You got to take the ad off.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yeah, Yeah, she's a pretty girl.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yes, I was on Love Island.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
She was a reality TV star, that's her ye, roblee.
Why she thought she was entitled to break the line.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
I'm so good looking. I do whatever I want to
and you can't say anything. I could make one big one,
but you don't exactly exactly. Okay, what the f is
wrong with some people who fly on a plane. There's
always something. Somebody gets slapped around or fingered. You know,

(20:25):
you just don't know what's gonna happen. Well, there's a
female passenger on a Southwest Airline's flight to Chicago stripped down,
naked and took a dump in her seat as the
plane landed. Police officers were called to Chicago's Midway Airport.
Saturday's flight four eighteen from Philadelphia arrived with one passenger

(20:49):
shocking the cabin by taking off her clothes, standing up
with her feet over the seat and pinching a loaf
right there in the seat, while other passages were watching
in horror and disgust.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
The smell of it.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Oh, it wasn't clear what happened to the craping woman,
but she was aggressively escorted off the plane and we
assume arrested. The plane was taken out of service because
they had to clean it, and the airline is considering
charging the defecating woman with the cleaning expense and for
the flights lost on the plane because of her actions.

(21:27):
When the woman was asked why she did it, she
simply said she felt like it because they wouldn't allow
her to get up out of her seat to go
to the bathroom while the plane was landing. Now you know,
you know, you could have just waited for a little
while while the plane was landing, thank you. You know,

(21:50):
disgusting the way people act something. What a world? What
a world? And there's always something about airline. In fact,
I got another story later on. We'll tell you about.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
It coming up next hour. It's your last chance to
score those worth four hundred grand stand tickets. It's a
family four pack and if you win, you're going to
qualify for the VIP experience that includes track passes for
Sunday's race at Texas Motor Speedway.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Bow has a.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Fun way for you to win coming up around seven
fifty here on the Bow and Them show on Dallas
fort Worth's Classic rock lone Star ninety two five.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I don't do anything all night long. I don't even
sleep all night long. No, you usually wake up around
your regular hour, don't you. Yeah, on the weekends, I
try to sleep as late as I can. But four
hours I'm up, no matter what time it is, no
matter how late I stay up, and then I go, oh,
well a little bit. All nighters are hard, man, I know,

(22:47):
I'm telling you, Okay. A Brazilian nun believe to be
the world's oldest person has died just a few weeks
shy of our one hundred and seventeenth birthday. I believe
she was that old man.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
I'm just tired of thinking about it.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Sister Inna Cannaberro was born May twenty seventh, nineteen oh eight,
and was confirmed in January as the world's oldest living person.
She was also the second oldest nun ever after sister
Lucille Randon, who died in twenty twenty three at the
age of one hundred and eighteen. Wow.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
Why is it about nuns man?

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I don't know. But on her one hundred and tenth birthday,
Canneberro was honored by Pope Francis, who just recently passed away.
A British woman named Ethel Catterham is now believed to
be the world's oldest person, at one hundred and fifteen
years old.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Once again, I'm tired just thinking about it.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh no, I don't want to get that old.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
Well, if you're healthy, I guess it's okay. But if
you're falling apart.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, yeah me. Now here's something else that's hard to believe.
It's been twenty years since You two was launched and
completely changed our viewing habits. Yeah. It all started with
one nineteen second clip of an elephant exhibit from the
San Diego Zoo called me at the Zoo. A guy
just walking around with his phone recording stuff, and that's it.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
And then cats took over a few chats.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yes, oh god, piano playing, cats, cats talking yep. Since then,
over twenty billion videos have been uploaded to the site.
There's also a billion views club for music videos that
have reached that benchmark, one of them being Adele's Hello
from the other's just cannot stand that song. If he

(24:34):
comes on the radio, I can't hit the button fast enough.

Speaker 4 (24:37):
Oh poor Adele. So those tickets that I got you
for her Vegas show.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
No, well over twenty billion views of it. She should
be happy. Then there's David Kenney, a contestant on Survivor
forty eight. He revealed that his girlfriend broke up with
him after he failed to win the million dollar prize
That's how shallow. Earlier in the season, Kenny stated and

(25:04):
shared that she warned him, I only have a girlfriend
if I win a million dollars, emphasizing her desire to
be a stay at home mom supported by his potential winnings. Well,
he lost the game and now she's gone. She has
hit the road. What a wench? Can you say? Gold
digging home now, Kenny tells The New York Post. He

(25:25):
described the relationship as really toxic and expressed at the
breakup was a positive turning point. Yeah, when you know
that's what your woman is after you for in case
you win a million dollars. Dude, what's Kenny? You are
being used? Yes? You are now residing in Ohio. Kenny
works as a jump pilot and is dating someone he

(25:47):
calls the girl of my dreams. I hate to bring
it up, but that's what he said about his now
ex girlfriend, who left him because he didn't win the
million dollar point. He added, I'm almost glad I didn't win. Well,
I can't blame you. Yeah, dude. Okay, Now we were
talking earlier about the Kentucky Derby is tomorrow. Yes, it

(26:09):
kind of officially kicks off the Triple Crown horse racing season. Well,
we have our own way of kicking off the horse
racing season, and it goes.

Speaker 8 (26:20):
Like this, Welcome to the third race at the honeymoon
is over downs.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
They're at the gates.

Speaker 8 (26:29):
And they're off, jumping out in the lead as Romance
and Affection with domestic list in close behind hits Romance
and Affection and domestic list. Here comes marriage vows, followed
by immediate child romance and affection falling off quickly mortgaged
up the ass, overtaking domestic g lisz and here comes
nesty attitude, followed by more children and drinking heavily coming
down the back stretch, drinking heavily, moving out in front

(26:51):
of mortgaged up the ass, but coming on strong on
the outside is credit in shambals, hits credit in shambles,
followed by I don't give a nesty attitude and up
yours Keith up Hers keep challenging for a second, going
into the clubhouse turn, passing on the rail as I
don't give it, taking the lead, followed by the working
house you cook like and your brother here they come
spinning out of the turn. I don't give it. Still

(27:13):
in front, up Heers keep challenging for the lead. Up
yours keep it. I don't give it.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Neck and neck and down the stretch they calmed up
yours keep is pulling away from it. I don't give it.

Speaker 8 (27:22):
My leg coming on strong as I am out of here.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
And passing the pack is the focking house, and that
the wire. It's up yours, keep the facking house.

Speaker 8 (27:29):
I don't give it, and I am out of here,
all right.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
And that's how we kick off the racing team Long
Star ninety two five sticks, who will probably announce they're
coming back here before the next couple of months.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Yeah, they're playing Doseke's Pavilion August first.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
That's right, they are. I was just joking.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
I forgot the Brotherhood of rock Tour.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
God, let me just keep calling nothing. I am mad
about it because they put on a really good show.
But I mean, are we like on every their tour
that they.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
Do every year they're back, yes, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
By the way, we have some tickets to the Worth
four hundred NASCAR race in Texas Motor Speedway this Sunday
where this show will be broadcasting from. And you're gonna
have to identify another NASCAR mystery voice, okay, because the
driver this is a family four pack of tickets. It's
one of the drivers. And uh, there's a hint I

(28:27):
can give you that will give it away, but we'll
do that around seven fifty. This moment, now, Monday.

Speaker 4 (28:33):
Is right ready to celebrate.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Man, I'm gonna get me to play to Inchriladas about
this big like myart ef just celebrate videotape? Well, how
can I videotape with one hand when I'm holding a.

Speaker 4 (28:55):
Debra could do it for us.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Oh yeah, like she wants to get close to my
buttthole life. Take one for the.

Speaker 7 (29:00):
Team Sinco to Mayo in twenty twenty six. We should
celebrate by getting a thermal camera and catching your fart
cloud on the screen as it comes.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
You ever seen those? Yes, I have. They spy on.

Speaker 7 (29:12):
People in the airport and show them releasing like the
mega cloud in the corner.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Well, but I have to have my Mexican food first. Yeah,
you know the fuel. You gotta be fueled down played, lad,
Well do it? We got a bunch of good stuff playing.
Oh you know what that also means, don't you? That
we all have to do a sing along to Mexican
radio by wall of Voodoos. Not a problem, Okay, I'll

(29:37):
get you the lyrics and everything.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
Which were in Diana E Barb.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
That's my walk on song.

Speaker 4 (29:46):
If ever I play baseball, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
I know here she is Iguana hersalad horror, Guana d horror.
That has kind of a ring when you really think
about it. Crown by Tacos will be just fine from
thank you, by the way. Sunday, like I say, we're
going to be out at the racetrack for the NASCAR race,
the Worth four hundred Texas Motor Speedway, and we're going

(30:11):
to give away some tickets here in just a little while.
But on that day it is Star Wars Day, May
the fourth, as in May the fourth be with you.
So I think, just in honor of that, the fact
that we're not going to be celebrating on this show
in the studio, I think we need to play one
Star Wars song this morning. Let's do it here you go,

(30:32):
ladies and gentlemen. The Star Wars canteen goes like this,
Sorry Barry manelogus Jedi Masters at the.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Stars always.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well and that pretty much sums up all the movies.
Dallas Forest Classic Rock Lone Star ninety two to five,
Foreigner singer Lou Graham seventy five today.

Speaker 4 (31:15):
Happy birthday, Lou. And he's on the road with Foreigner
right now.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yes, because Kelly Hansen has some problems or illnesses to
deal with. Yeah, okay, And of course we're giving away
tickets to the words four hundred race at take Us
Motor Speedway coming up. And NASCAR driver Kyle Busch is
forty years old today. He's not racing in the Cup Series.
He's competing in the NASCAR Craftsman's Truck Series race. In fact,

(31:40):
he's the defending champion of that one. Go Kyle. Okay.
That's just one of the things that's going on this weekend.
There's a lot going on this weekend, just like every
other weekend. So let's run it down and find out
what sounds good to you. It's time for Hey, what what?

(32:01):
I am so glad? You asked?

Speaker 4 (32:03):
The Dallas Stars facing off with the Calo out Colorado
Avalanche in a must win game come All Game seven
of Round one of the NHL Playoffs at the American
Airlines Center tomorrow night. The puck will drop at seven.
If the Stars lose, their season is.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Oh, winner goes on, loser goes home.

Speaker 4 (32:24):
Yeah, make sure you're wearing your victory green tomorrow night.
And it's race weekend at Texas Motor Speedway today through Sunday. Tonight,
the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series is back for the Speedy
Cash dot Com two fifty and then tomorrow at one
o'clock it's the Andy's Frozen Custard three hundred and on Sunday,
May the fourth be with you. We are going to

(32:45):
be live at Texas Motor Speedway from eleven am to
one pm ahead of the Worth four hundred race, which
will get underway at two point thirty Sunday afternoon. And
ahead of the race, you know who's singing the National Anthem.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Who's singing that old guy, the.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
Old lone survivor of ewog Man, John Graves and he
turns one hundred tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
Yeah, Mark Favor was telling us about him the other day.

Speaker 4 (33:10):
Wow Rangers fans at Texas Rangers start a three game
series tonight against the Seattle Mariners at Globelife Field. First
pitch tonight at seven o five. Tomorrow they'll play at
six oh five, and then on Sunday the first pitch
will be at one thirty five. If you love golf,
the CJ Cup Byron Nelson is now underway at TPC
Craig Ranch and McKinney. It's going on through Sunday featuring

(33:31):
North Texas his own Scottie Scheffler without a Beer Yes,
and Jordan Speed just to name a few. And tomorrow
at Lone Star Park in Grand Prairie it's Dallas Derby Day,
where you can check out the Kentucky Derby in style.
Also this weekend, bo the Dallas International Guitar Festival is
at Dallas Market Hall today through Sunday. Bring your guitars

(33:52):
and your gear to sell or trade and enjoy live
music all day long today through.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Sunday tell Jimmy Wallace said hello.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
Absolutely other live music this weekend. Country star Tricia Yearwood
is at Texas Trust CEU Theater in Grand Prairie, Tonight
at Lucas Oil Live at Windstar World Casino, one of
my favorites. Tonight Chris Isaac and then tomorrow at the
Arlington Music Hall. You can see the fabulous Thunderbirds and.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
Coss So they're still touring, Yes, they are.

Speaker 4 (34:20):
Sunday at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. The Austin singer
songwriter duo Penny and Sparrow are in concert. They're known
for their indie folk and alt pop music. They're really
a good band. Comedy this weekend. Friend of the show,
mas Jibbroni is at the Addison Improv Tonight through Sunday.
He's going to join us in the eight am hour
and tonight and tomorrow at tk's Comedy and Addison. Another

(34:43):
friend of the show, Brady Matthews at Centennial Hall at
fair Park Tomorrow and Sunday, the Dallas Home Show Frisco Tomorrow,
the thirteenth annual Frisco Streets Food, Truck and Music Festival,
and the Frisco Rail.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
District all for Single Love Them food truck.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yeah, awesome for Single to Mayo weekend. You may want
to head out to Irving for the Irving Taco and
Margarita Festival at Toyota Music Factory.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
Scarborough Renaissance Festival continues in Waksahachi and last week I
was out in Fort Worth for the Take Steps Walk
benefiting the Crons and Colaidis Foundation. Tomorrow morning I'm at
Trinity Groves in Dallas for the Dallas Walk and then
right after that I'm going to be heading out to
the Terrank County Sheriff's Departments offices in Bedford. That's their
training center. They're having a huge job fare. I'll be

(35:30):
out there at eleven am to one thirty pm tomorrow.
Come out and join me. And that, my friends, is
just some of what is going on this weekend.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Boys, I like a busy weekend. Thanks welcome Dallas for
Worst Classic Rock lone Star ninety two to five. We
just got words that our boys, Gimrani's in the building
right now, y, so we're going to have him up
here right after we give away these NASCAR tickets. That's right,

(35:58):
The worth four hundred race is at Texas Motor Speedway
on Sunday. We'll be out there broadcasting. We have a
family four pack, and you're qualified for the VIP experience,
which includes track passes. And all you gotta do is
figure out who is our NASCAR mystery voice. All right, okay,
this is the mystery voice. It's one of the drivers

(36:20):
who will be driving.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
Oh, he will be driving.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
He will, he will. Okay, Okay, So I'm gonna play
this clip. You tell me who this is, and I
will give you the family four pack of tickets for
the worst one. You're ready, yes, okay, listen up.

Speaker 9 (36:34):
All the other courses we go to right there designed
to be as smooth as possible, and you get natural
bumps over time. But when you go to a street course,
there's millions of cars running on these roads every year, right,
so they naturally get really rough and bumpy. In race cars,
it's probably ten times worse of a ride than in
a street car.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Okay, you have any ideas, man, you're gonna have to
give us a hen man.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Oh, if I give the hints that I've got, it
might give it away. Play it again. I'm gonna play
it again. Here it is again.

Speaker 9 (37:04):
All the other courses we go to right there designed
to be as smooth as possible, and you get natural
bumps over time. But when you go to a street course,
there's millions of cars running on these roads every year, right,
so they naturally get really rough and bumpy, and in
race cars it's probably ten times worse of a ride
than in a street car.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
So who is that mystery boy?

Speaker 4 (37:25):
I'm very handsome.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Here's a wild guest. B how I do No, he's
not racing anymore, just because no, no, no, I knew
that would throw you. Yes, let me get fun here
bulling them. Show tell me who was our mystery voice?
NASCAR driver Kyle Busch? No on christa Day's's birthday.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
Yeah, sure it was gonna be Kyle Busch.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
One? Then show one, Then show tell me who was
our mystery voice? Didn't Hamlin Handlin. I'm gonna try it
one more time than I'm gonna give you the hint.
Bon them, Show tell me who that NASCAR driver was?
Daniel Bard. No, here's your hint. He was on the

(38:13):
show yesterday, he called, and I was on the show yesterday. Now,
if you can remember and get your memory banks to
go back twenty four hours. Then you got yes, there
it is there, It is there. Bone them, show bon them,
show tell me who our mystery voice was that was
on the show yesterday, Ryan Blaney. Right, I thought i'd

(38:40):
throw you all a curve. Not Brainy Blaney. Yeah, Brainy.
I didn't know a guy's named Ryan. Brainy. He's a
dumb ass too. Okay, who is this Big Tom? All right?
Hold on, Big Tom. We'll give you some big passes
to the races on Sunday. Okay, don't go away. We
got to get some info from you, all right, Moroni.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
Thanks on the ball of them jealous And as you know, Bo,
we have had the privilege of partnering with some pretty
amazing businesses over the years, and Travel Nevada is a
new sponsor. They believe that we can help them get
the word out about vacationing in Nevada, so they're teaming
up with us. Welcome to the lone starfamily Travelnvada dot com. Now,

(39:25):
if you're a business owner who wants to join forces
with us, all you have to do is call or
email us. You can email Bo at lone Star ninety
two five dot com or Anna at lone Star ninety
two five dot com. We'd love to hear from you
and help you build your brand, and thank you again
to travel Nevada.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yes, we're all all right because an old friend has returned.
Ladyes Jalvin, Ma JEVRONI here, I am here, Mas is
all right, Mass, all right here, body is all right? Bye,
all right? But up in the club, how are you?
How have you been my friend? Man?

Speaker 3 (40:04):
This is one of my you know, I come to
Dallas every about year and a half or so to
do shows, and this is one of my favorite things
when I see you guys.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Oh well, we'd love them having you here on the show.

Speaker 4 (40:14):
Yeah, part of the family.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Thank you, thank you. Good to be part of this
great lift our spirits too. We look forward to We're
all right. I haven't ready to laugh man. Well, now
as you remember, the last time you were in here,
I was at home because I had a little accident,
don't you know.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Yes, yes, last time I didn't see you in person.
So this time seeing you hugging you, you're right there.
You're the real thing I thought they were. I thought
that maybe the previous version of you, when it were
you were on the screen, I thought maybe it was
like an anagram.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
AI AI or something I see and I couldn't walk.
Then yeah, well watch it look at that that. Don't worry.
I'm not taking anything off.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
We got money the moonwalk. Man, you're like Michael Jackson
over there. Yeah, well not why husher usher, I forgot
my glove.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Woh my gosh. Wow man, what's been going on since then?
Have you pranked your son again? Well, my my son
got deported. But the point is that's what he gets
for being brown.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
No, my son, you know, we pranked him back when
we were in Columbia. We did that that one where
for people that don't know it was. It happened to
be April Fool's Day and my son was, you know,
twelve or something and I just called his room, pretending
to be the lobby. Yeah and I and I, you know,
I did an accent like these and I said, hello, hello, sir,

(41:53):
are you using the internets? And he had no idea,
Like he's twelve years old, they don't even know how
a landline works. He's like, who's this person talking to me?
And I'm going, yes, we have here a proof that
you were on the internets and you're not supposed to
be on the inter you know, there's rules about the Internet,
and so I'm basically implying that maybe he's going on
there and watching stuff he's not supposed to be watching.
And the poor kids started. He's like, you gotta talk

(42:14):
to my dad. I'm like, no, you need to come down,
and then he goes, what's your name? I got My
name is Ricardo Montalban, which funny enough, like he had
no idea.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
What that is. We know what it is. Long story short,
the poor kid comes to my room knocked. He's like, Dad,
someone wants to see me downstairs. And I was like, ah,
that was me. Yeah, So I got him good, and
then he got us.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
One time, my wife and I we came from being
out somewhere and this guy he's like he he went
and he laid down in the kitchen and pretended like
he passed out, and he puts some ketchup.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
Oh, like he hit his head.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
I swear to God, and I walk in and I
see him, and I'm like, and my wife's like, Dara,
that's our son, that's his name, and I go, I go, no,
he's just kidding. Dara, get up, Dara, get up, and
he stuck to it and then I started figuring to go,
don't get up, and he gets like, ah, he's dying,
And I'm like, what the hell.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Don't ever do that again?

Speaker 3 (43:08):
And the kid had recorded it, so he's got this
video he put on camera somewhere.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Well, see, now, your kids, they're made to be messed with. Yes,
they're not supposed to return the favor on dad or
mom exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:22):
And he did it in a way because you know
they're younger. Like I almost had a heart attack, see,
like seeing what was happening. Yeah, that's your kid, that's
your kid.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
What are you doing? So yes, I was like, don't
ever do that again. And so now as a parent,
now I had to do this once, go to a
parent teacher conference. Is there anything worse in the world
for a parent? Oh?

Speaker 3 (43:45):
Well, first of all, I don't like going to back.
It used to be you would send the kids to
school and they just go to school. Now in this
modern era, there's a lot of like they come up
with themes, you know, daddy day, mommy day, daddy donut.
One time I went to I went to the book
Day one day, They're like book Fair, they're buying books.
And then that was it and I could go home.
And then and then the next day I didn't go

(44:07):
to the school. And then the next day my wife goes,
you know, our son was upset, you didn't go to
daddy donut day. And I go, there's a daddy don't day.
She goes, yeah, I go, but there's a book day.
She goes, yeah, But the next day was a daddy donaty.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
I'm like, am I going to school? Or is he
going to school? Why do I keep having to go back?
And I just I realized I have zero patience.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
First of all, I think I might have ADHD because
every time I go to those parent teacher conferences, the
teacher would be talking and my mind would.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
Start wandering, and I'm like this here, Wow, your mind
is trying to escape. Yeah, what it is.

Speaker 4 (44:43):
Some of your favorite stories that you tell on stage
are stories about your parents.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
I love those stories. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
I mean you know, again, having immigrant parents gives you
a lot of material, right, So yeah, we moved from
Iran back in nineteen seventy eight with my dad and
my mom, and you know, there was a lot of like.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
There's constant there.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
I think kids of immigrants kind of have to deal
with a lot because on the one hand, every kids
just trying to blend in, but when you have immigrant parents,
it's a whole other level. So I'll give you an example.
Like I used to do, uh you know, I did
the plays in school and the parents would show up
to watch the plays. And most of the parents would
show up, you know, dressed kind of nice but you
know fine, like like you know, khaki pants, maybe blue

(45:26):
buttoned up shirt.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
You know, that's it.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
My family, they thought if they're going to the play,
they're going to the opera. My mom would show up
with like a mink coat, you know. My dad's got
like a three piece suits, like we have VIP tickets.
Where do we enter?

Speaker 1 (45:41):
You know, your neck? It was crazy, man.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
So it was and I was always you could you
could spot the immigrants. You're like, oh no, that's my
backstage looking like, oh no, they they dressed up again.
And then I had I had an aunt that would
come and she would just get excited, so like every
little she kept giving me stay ovations during the show,
and I was like, just sit down.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's so embarrassing, you know. And back then, when you
moved here, there was a tense relations between Iran and America.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think it's still fifty years later,
still going.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
We're much better now. Yeah, yeah, Now everybody hates it. No, Well,
you know it's funny.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
I always say, like one thing I've said now in
stays I go, I go, people from the Middle East
when we come to America, we come because there's turmoil
in the old country.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
And I realized this because I was talking to my
Lebanese friend, he Goes Maz I came to America during
the Lebanese Civil War, and my Iraqi friend was there.
He goes, I came to America during the invasion of Iraq.
And I told them, I said, I came to America
during the Iranian Revolution. You never hear someone from the
Middle East be like, I came to America during summer.
It's always something always it's never seasonal, never season always

(46:56):
break exactly.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
Masni is at the adis an improv stick around. We
got some more visiting to do, Okay, now, I'm right sorry.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
I had to do this.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Dallas Hortworths classic Lone Star in ninety two five. She
was an American girl. So I want some of that pie. Yes,
I'm talking about apple Pie. Okay, don't be looking. Thank
you for clarifying American pie. Yeah, Ball Mo BROWNI is here.
He's at the Addison Improv And I think I told
you this last time. I really missed Superior Donuts. That

(47:29):
was what a great show that was, as do I.
It was so fun and the cast was fun and
it was jud Hirsh and Katie Sigul, David Keickner, who
was just here a couple of weeks.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
Yeah, I love all those guys. Jermaine Fowler, you know,
I ac sue. It's a crazy being in this in
show business is a weird thing because you'll come across
people you grew up watching, Yeah, and then all of
a sudden you're working with them. All of a sudden
you have their phone numbers. Like it was Judd Hirsh's
birthday recently and I have his number, and you know,
I know jud from the show. So I was like,

(48:02):
in my mind, I'm like, will even remember me? So
I texted her, Hey, happy Birthday's like.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Hey, what's going on? Guy? You know, like, Hey, this
is Judd Hirsh Hard. He's a real nice guy, super nice,
what great stories? You know? He he I didn't realize
how big.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
I mean, I knew how big he was, but I
didn't realize how big he was because he goes, he goes,
you know, when Taxi first came out, he goes, it
had it said Judd Hirsh you know, Judd Hirsh's Taxi
or something like that.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
That's how big he was.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
And he would tell the stories about how like Andy
Kaufman would do that, uh that that character, No, no, no,
the Tony the other the oh yeah, whatever his name was,
the his alter ego who was like a jerk Tony something,
and I forget right now, I'm blanking look at it.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
But he said the guy would show.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
So Andy Kaufman got that guy on the show, basically
would do that guy on the show. And he said
he when he did that character, he would pretend to
be that guy and he was just a jerk, just
a jerk.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
And Tony cif.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
He did that good too, that was funny. So he said.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
Judd hurstaid, like one time, like he was there and
he goes, you know that he was just being a jerk.
You know, even when they weren't filming, he was, he
was in character. So he goes he went over the producer.
He's like, can you go talk to Andy and tell
him to stop doing this? And they go, Judd, it's
in his contract. He's allowed to do this. He goes,
all right, well, if you're not gonna, I will, So
he goes. He went over and he grabbed him by
the collar, picked him up and goes, you better get out.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
You you got to stop this, and he threw him
out of this. He threw him out of the stadium.
He's a big guy. Judd's a big guy too.

Speaker 5 (49:35):
Well.

Speaker 4 (49:35):
I remember when he would be on Letterman and Letterman
would get uncomfortable, but then they said that Letterman.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
Was in on the joke.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
Yeah, a little bit like that Tony Clifton character, or
even like Andy Kaufman's characters were you know he if
you remember that was the famous uh the wrestler came
out and slapped him and Jerry Lawler. Jerry Lawler, I mean,
just it's such a crazy and what's crazy is to
think how crazy that was and now the world we're
living and we're like, oh, that happens every day.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
Yeah, yeah, you know, but everybody thought it was real
and they had worked it out. Yeah, it was I
thought it was brilliant. Yeah, things for the clicks.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
These days, Well, everything's now Mike Tyson fighting Jake Paul
you know, and was like, Oh, Tyson's got a chance.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
And then you're like, oh, no, he does it. You
know I didn't.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Well, it was funny watching that because everyone, everyone from
the old school was like, oh, he's gonna beat him up,
you know, you know, Jake Paul's gotta got something coming.
And then when you watched it, I think it was
Roy Jones Junior was the announcer going like, oh, his legs.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Oh, I don't like his legs. I don't like his legs.
I was like, oh, he's right. Wait a minute. I
was like, oh, Mike Tyson is old like me. Yes,
I was like, oh, you can't walk too.

Speaker 6 (50:42):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
He was fifty eight and it was down there at
Jerry World in Arlington where all that Oh is that?
Where was he? Do you have a new special? I?

Speaker 3 (50:53):
So the new especial I have is on YouTube, which
is called the Birds and the Bees And what you
had to teach your sons? What I had to teach
the kids, Well, the joke I do about I tell
a story about this. This actually happened is I stumbled
into the birds and the bees. And what I mean
by that is I wasn't ready for the talk. I
put on the show Blackish, which is a great show.

(51:14):
This is when the kids were like, my son was ten,
my daughter was eight, too young for the talk. But
the very first scene of and I thought, oh, it's
a family, let me watch it with them. Very first
scene of the entire show, the father walks in on
his son, who's about to do what teenage boys do.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Yeah, and the dad goes, oh, and he walks out.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
And it's funny because in the joke, I talk about
how I'm watching it with my son and my daughter
and boys tend to be spaced out and girls are
like laser sharp. So when that scene happens, my son
just keeps watching. It's like just watching it. My daughter
write away she goes what just happened? And I was like, oh,
what just happened? And I'm thinking to myself, do I
give her them the talk right now?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
They're eight and ten. I don't think, ask your brother
in three years keep this.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Yeah, well you're gonna be the bathroom will be occupied
by him for a long time. So then so so
I basically explained like something. I was like, oh, his
room is you know, he was just this, you know,
he's about to take his underwear off.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
Whatever.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
So she goes, oh, okay, And then the very next scene,
the father walks in to the mother and goes, hey,
I just caught our son.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
You know.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
He says the word, yeah, yeah, playing with something. And
again my son just uh and my daughter's like, well
what does that mean. He's like, oh, they grew up,
grow up so fast. So I found myself in this
thing of going like, you know, when can't boys are teenagers?
They just squeeze their peepy a little bit, just a
little bit, just a little bit, and and but very rapidly,

(52:42):
very rapidly.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Her jaw drops. She's like what And I'm so stupid.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
I went to my wife that night. I go, oh, hey,
by the way, just so you know, I did the talk.
She goes, what talk? I go, you know, the talk
the burs and the beast. She goes to who, I go,
our kids? She goes, they're eight and ten. I mean,
you know, never too so yeah, never too soon.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
You got to prime the pump before you get it going. Idiots.
He goes you've traumatized them anyway. So that was the
Birds and the Bees. How many times did you do
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert? I was on Colbert
twice as a guest and once doing stand up. Do
you know Paul Mercuriel. Yeah, I know Paul.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
Yeah, he's been in here a couple of times. Yeah,
Paul is a great guy. He and I we talked
from from time to time. Very funny. The whole the
whole experience of being on that show is amazing. Any
of these talk shows people don't realize because when you're
watching it, you go, oh, they're just having a conversation.
But when you're on it, you realize, oh, this is
a seven minute segment. There's a five minute segment. It's
got to move, move, move, And like you know, you'd

(53:44):
be talking to Colbert and you're like, oh my god,
this is great. We was just warming up and then
he'd be like, all right, thanks a lot. You can
catch him on like what just happened.

Speaker 5 (53:53):
That?

Speaker 3 (53:53):
It's so natural, it is, he's so good. I watched
I watch his monologue, you know, pretty much every day.
It just just to get a comedic twist on the
news and uh and there. You know, he's he's great,
smart and and those shows are fun to be on
and and but it's amazing how much work goes into it.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Right, ask him to tell you the Paul McCartney story. Okay,
all right, just tell him to tell them the Paul McCartney.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
Okay, next time I talking, I'll ask him. That's good
to know, all right, all right, find out, I'll find out.
I'm curious, now, what did he do with Paul McCartney.
We're suspension, so you'll have to ask Paul.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Yeah, story.

Speaker 4 (54:37):
We don't want to steal it from him.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Only Ronnie problem. I'll come see you tonight, all right,
I'm looking forward. So the guys I'm happy to see.
I'm happy to see you walking moonwalk, break dancing. That
break dancing was amazing. I still haven't got to spinning
around down yet. Well, you got to work on that. Yes,
he'll be in the Olympic suing my friends. Oh yeah, exactly,

(55:02):
crawl into the finish line. All right, dude, all right,
it's tough as a South Dallas surmoy.

Speaker 9 (55:13):
I'll have you know.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Lone Star ninety two. By by the way, fabulous Thunderbirds.
They're in town. Tomorrow night at the Arlington Musical. They
are God, they were so big back in the nineties,
eighties and nineties.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
Yes, By the way, who won our tickets to the
other NASCAR races that we're doing, Because what happened was
is George Lopez canceled yeah tonight for whatever reason we
don't know. So we gave away another family four pack
of tickets to the Worth four hundred race on Sunday,
and that went to that went to a first time

(55:49):
winter named Rod Meyer. He's in ponder.

Speaker 7 (55:51):
I thought he was a cop at first because all
these radio coms kept breaking in while I'm talking to him.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Oh yeah, my address is driver. He is a heavy
equipment operator. Oh at it this morning?

Speaker 4 (56:05):
Yeah, congratulations in a first time winner.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
Yeah, go all with it. Yes, so it is a
NASCAR weekend. Here's a couple of things you may not
have known. Jimmy Johnson, No, not the former Cowboys coach,
but the race car driver. He is the only NASCAR
Cup Series driver to win five consecutive championships, wow, from
two oh six to twenty ten. And any legit NASCAR

(56:30):
fan knows that Richard Petty won the Daytona five hundred
seven times and is widely regarded as the best driver
of all time. Yes, but did you know that Richard
Petty is credited with the invention of the window net
that's used on race cars. Oh really, he designed the
net to help prevent injuries. It's that you know, that
net that's on the side on the driver side to

(56:51):
keep the driver's arms and torso and head inside in
case there's a crack. For safety reasons. Yeah, because if
it wasn't there, you'd be thrown out, run over by
your own car. And the Kentucky Derby is tomorrow and
one hundred and fifty races. There have been three Phillies
female horses you all to win the Kentucky Derby, Regret

(57:12):
in nineteen fifteen, Genuine Risk in nineteen eighty and winning
Colors in nineteen eighty eight. The last time of Philly
raced was in twenty ten, and no Phillies will take
part in tomorrow's Derby. Oh real, it's all the mean horses.
I yeah, it's the man's world. And have found something
out about a place that dim Or and I have

(57:34):
gone to many times, Perries. Now is this all Perries?

Speaker 4 (57:38):
Just the Peries and locations here. Perry's Steakhouse and Grills
celebrating their forty sixth anniversary, and they're doing it up today.
The first one hundred people dining guests that start at
ten thirty this morning will receive seventy nine cent port
chop lunches seventy and their port chops are the ball

(58:02):
over the top, especially when they cut up, cut it
up at your table for you.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah. Yeah, well you scared me. I thought you were
gonna say Perry's is closed forty six years and county Man,
I don't know if I don't know if I could
be there by ten thirds, I'm sure there are people
already lined up for that. Yeah. So it said seventy nine,
that's forty six years ago exactly. Yeah, or seventy nine. Yeah,

(58:29):
so that's why they're seventy nine port chopped in. That's
worth it.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
Also, Mayfest is in Fort Worth this week and I
forgot it, And hey Annah, what's happening?

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Well? I hope we have better weather than we did
last year. Remember when all that hail was coming down.

Speaker 4 (58:43):
Yeah, just a few more things going on this weekend here. Yes, Hey,
Rock the Bank is back on lone Star. Everything seems
to be more expensive these days, so if you could
use an extra thousand dollars, just keep on listening. We
have your shot at one thousand dollars nine times today.
Boe and I have the first keyword coming up around
nine ten. When you hear it, you entered at Monestar

(59:04):
ninety two five dot com and you could be the
next big winner here on lone Star ninety two five.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Yeah, she's dangerous, all right, smother you in your sleep.

Speaker 4 (59:19):
Yeah, he probably deserve it.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
I knew i'd get a response like that. Hey, you
probably deserved it. Go ahead, girl, you go up by
the way. Next week, we have picked your ticket. Choose
between two three day wrist bands for Austin City Limits
that's in October. Yeah, or you can get a pair
of tickets to see Brian Adams at the American Airline

(59:41):
Center in November and opening for Brian Adams Pat bennettar No,
it's gonna be a great show. Of course, whichever one
you don't pick goes into the eight forty ticket window.

Speaker 4 (59:52):
All right, all right, let's talk time wasters. This is
what we have up on the Bow and m Show
page at lone Star ninety two five. Dot Com fifty
years ago. This week bo The Rolling Stones introduced their
new guitarist, Ronnie Wood, who replaced Mick Taylor, and they
did it up in style, playing brown Sugar on a
flatbed drug. Remember that they were driving down Fifth Avenue

(01:00:13):
in New York City. It happened on May first of
nineteen seventy five. Now here's Ronnie Wood talking about the
experience and seeing Alice Cooper's manager, Shep Gordon while he
was on the flatbed.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
I remember going down Fifth Avenue and seeing Shep Gordon
come around the corner with his briefcase going to work,
and all the police are going give me tickets, get
me tickets. I'm going where you want to come to
Madison Square, God, get your own tickets. You know it's
really funny. Well, I was living in Beaumont and I
drove up here to the Cotton Bowl to see that
Stone show. And there's Ronnie Wood.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
Yeah, Tour of the Americas nineteen seventy five, remember like
it was. Yes, you get a post on Ronnie Wood's
Instagram page, by the way, says he's going to be
celebrating his fiftieth anniversary with The Rolling Stones with something
very special and we're gonna find out on May eighth,
so stay tuned.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Happy birthday to Foreigners.

Speaker 4 (01:01:05):
Lou Graham, the original and former singer of Foreigner, turned
seventy five today. Now he's currently touring with Foreigner on
their farewell tour in Latin America, where he's coming out
to sing the final four songs, which he says is
going to be the case into next year.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
I'm doing Southeast Asia, I'm doing Europe, and the next
year I'm doing the whole of the US.

Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
It's gonna be good to see him up there with Foreigner.
Graham also says he's going to be releasing a solo
album next year, so not retiring anytime soon. Eddie Van
Halen's son Wolfie is making a splash with his band
Mammoth wv H. They have a new video called The
End and it's an all star affair of this video

(01:01:51):
with Danny Treyjoe Slash, Wolfgang's mom Valerie Burtonellie, isn't it.
We have the video up on our page now. The
script for this supernatural clip was written by Wolfy and
directed by Robert Rodriguez. The song itself starts with the
tapping guitar, just like Wolfy's dad, Eddie Van Halen used

(01:02:12):
to do. Music news Bruce Springsteen released yet another track
from the forthcoming collection Tracks to the Lost Albums, which
is going to be out June twenty seventh. The song
is called Faithless, and we have that up so that
you can check it out. And Van Morrison has released
a song called Cutting Corners. It's the second single off
the album Remembering Now, which will be out June thirteenth.

(01:02:35):
If you want to hear it, we have that up
on our page. And finally, remember the story from the
Freaking Fool file about that woman on the plane.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Yeah, shout it to just that took a dump on
the shot. Well, hold her beer.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
What possibly the most disgusting road rage incident ever? A
woman in Pennsylvania so upset that another driver cut her
off that she got out of her car and she
pooped on the car hood. And yes, there is video
of the encounter.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
Oh that's tremendously.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
We have the story and the video up on the
Bow and Them show page at lone star ninety two five.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Dot com Fallows Forest Classic Rock lone Star ninety two
to five. Time for Us to Dance a little last
is out of him.

Speaker 4 (01:03:18):
Oh yeah, and it's gonna be a busy, busy weekend, Yes,
yes it is.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
First of all, I gotta go see Myles Brownie tonight
at the Addison IMPROVM. It's such a sweetheart and he
funny too.

Speaker 4 (01:03:30):
Yes, And he purposely flew in yesterday so he could
see you today.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
That's well, that's because he's family around here. Yeah, he's
a good hang yeah. Yeah. And then of course we
got the big race on Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway,
and we'll have some audio to play for you. We'll
see which guests managed to stop by, because sometimes when

(01:03:55):
they say these people get sidetracked get ready for the race.
But we'll see how it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:00):
The Grand Marshall for the Worth four hundred presented by
Liquid Molly on Sunday is Shay Wigham of Mission Impossible.
He's in that new Mission Impossible movie with Tom Cruise,
and he's going to be stopping by in the eleven
am hour.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
On Sunday well to bring it. Yeah, we'll be out
there broadcasting from eleven until one, and then there'll be
some pre race stuff and then the race gets gone.
What about two.

Speaker 4 (01:04:25):
And I'm looking forward to seeing the national anthem being
sung by Don Graves, who turns one hundred tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
Wow, survivor of iwa Gina, man, that's one hundred years.
I don't know if I want to be that old.

Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
I don't know if I can't sing now?

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
Can you imagine singing in or one hundred exactly?

Speaker 7 (01:04:45):
Oh, and you're all trying not to fill up when
we do the broadcast because afterwards Favor is feeding us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Sinko to Mayo food. Oh is he shows and rows
and a bunch of other o's. That's like a plan
to meet. Okay, so thanks for tuning in today. Our
after show decompression SAS is about to kick in, so
don't go away, join the fun and watch us fall
on our faces over the price book already. Yes, it's

(01:05:13):
time to say.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Not to be such an idiot.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Actually, I'm just talking hypothetically. I'm embarrassed both of us.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Hey, if you're a faid of booking stupid, you'll never
have anything.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
You want me to bend novous? You k smacking with
that paddle? Are you crazy?

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
I thought that men you were not? Are you not?

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
People are nuts? That guy is nuts. You are not
kind of nuts. Are you nuts?

Speaker 5 (01:05:38):
Nuts?

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Him out? Start with I have a lot of anger.
He's gone fetal again. Oh I do love that show.
Without you, there's no show about the show, there's no celebration.

Speaker 6 (01:06:00):
Of songs are very catchy, very catchy. I can't get
feel them out of my head. At most annoying point with.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Special, I don't want to be cooped up in that office.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
All right, we'll see you on Monday for secull denial.
Go start, go start, please start