Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Want more Treehouse, check out our YouTube exclusive shows at
YouTube dot com slash at Treehouse on air.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
It is time to believe your worries outside and laugh
with us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with
Trade Trenholm and Raj Sharma. Today inside the Treehouse, something
big is in a museum that you're not going to believe.
(00:51):
Remember the Apple Dumpling Gang back in the day, that
that old movie.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
What don Knotts Classic?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Don Knotts Classic. That's right, Well, there's an updated version
to that that we'll share with you inside the Treehouse today.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
But first we will start with.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
In case you didn't already know, twenty twenty five slaps
and the hits just keep on coming. The latest example,
the sham Wow guy is running for Congress. We live
in an amazing time. Can we all just take a
moment and appreciate that If being arrested in two thousand
(01:40):
and nine after a physical fight with a prostitute in
Miami Beach floor does not sound like the beginning of
a career in politics, then you have not been following
the news for a very long time. Vince Offer born
Vince Shlomy, also known as the sham Wow Guy just
filed to run for Congress in Texas. He's officially entered
(02:04):
the Republican primary in District thirty one, a rural area
north of Austin. He joins a crowded field, challenging longtime
Representative John Carter, and his early messaging includes parody videos
and anty woke branding. It's one of the most unexpected
additions to the twenty twenty six Texas races so far.
(02:26):
Welcome the sham Wow Guy to congressional election politics.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
When when did the sham Wow Guy move to Texas?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
It's I'm guessing around the same time, like Eon and
Rogan and all those tech guys and the podcast guys,
along with everybuddy tone who seems to be an unwitting
neighbor to a.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Lot of them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I haven't had a chance to look up the actual
district map for thirty one, but I do wonder is
that the area that I'm wondering? Is it the area
where our buddy lives. Is it that area where Elon
has bought a bunch of stuff? Is that where Rogan's
studios are? Sort of in that North Austin rural bastrop area.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I'm not that familiar with central Texas because even though
we're all from Texas, it's big state and most of
us don't leave our bubble very often. I also like
how he changed his name from Vince Shlomi to Vince Offer,
very fitting of a pitch man of his tature.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
District thirty one is Georgetown, Kalleen, Temple, Oh interested in Ville,
a little bit around Rock.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yeah. I had car trouble that started in that area.
It was right around Temple, right around Temple, and somehow
managed to roll into Austin just enough power with no
air conditioning on, windows down and just using good old
fashioned up and down and just kind of rolling in
(04:06):
momentum into Austin. That was a fun road trip, let
me tell you.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
I used to go into sam Marcus and driving back
home from a Mesquite to sam Marcus and Sat Marcus
Mesquite pass through that all the time. And I mean,
I don't know, I don't know what his So it's
anti woke stuff, I don't know. I know it's a
super conservative area.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, but and it is a Republican primary, so it's
him along with the incumbent John Carter and a few
other people throwing throwing their rags into the race.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
You mean there's sham wows.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
No, he's the sham wow guy. The rest of them
just got rags.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I wonder if he's gonna do that like for his campaign,
Like he's going to pass out sham wows with like
his campaign slogan on it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Absolutely going to wipe out the debt.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I'm going to soak up your liberal ty and leave
behind zero streaks. I mean, I can understand I haven't
even had a chance yet because this news is so fresh.
I have not had a chance yet to look at
all his messaging and his political ads, if he has
(05:18):
any or if this is all just social media based
whatever it is. But I mean, yeah, a lot of
it writes itself. I mean, being a pitchman from the
two thousands, being known for the sham Wow as well
as the slap Chop. And I'm also pretty sure that
he was the pitchman for Scrub Daddy, which was the
smiley faced little sponge of which now there's a scrub Mommy.
(05:42):
I wonder if that's too woke for him.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Was the slap Chop a product or was that what
he did to the hooker?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
The slap Shop actually describes this scenario in and of itself,
because he chopped off his tongue with her teeth and
then he hit her a bunch, hence the slap chop.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
I actually have the slap chop and it works really well.
It's it's really that's one of the.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Products that I had to buy.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
I saw it, I was like, you know what, I
really don't like cutting up my own vegetables, so let
me see how it works.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
And it's great.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
But yeah, I would like to be like every single
one of the people that are running against him. I
just want to see what their ads look like, Like
you know, you know, so and so Vince Offer is
running for Congress. Don't let him speak for you because
half his tongue is missing.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Like you, I mean, this is this is local politics stuff.
It's Republican primary and very as you said, Raj in
very conservative minded area of Texas. So I imagine most of
the other candidate's messaging is going to be America first,
(07:05):
or patriotic, we believe in God fit, you know, faith
and family type of stuff. Lots of you know, photos
and videos with them doing family things with the kids. Meanwhile,
Vin's offered is doing his thing. And now, granted that
incident happened all the way back in two thousand and nine,
he may have turned over a new leaf. He may
(07:26):
himself be throwing out some of this type of conservative messaging.
I don't know, but I think he kind of have
to lean into the angle that everyone knows him for.
Otherwise you just erase any sort of an advantage you
have over everybody else.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Right, and Trey, I.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Think you bring up a great point, Like the slap chop,
is that the product or the thing that happened between
him and the prostitute. Therefore, I think this brings up
the age old question what came first, the chicken or
the egg, or in this scenario, the actual slap chop
or the incident? Like did one inspire the like? Which
one inspired the other? Like the incident happened with the hooker,
(08:06):
and that gave him the idea for slap chop.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Yeah, I haven't turned it over, but I'll look and
see if it's, like in the shape of her teeth.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
A proprietary design. And if they ever find her decomposing
in the woods, there'll be two ways to identify her.
One if there's any teeth left, and two the slap chop.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
I mean, he can say, I mean, like, if the
hooker thing comes up, he can be like, hey, but listen,
I hired local. You know, I'm making you know what
I mean, like I put into the economy.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
As far as I know, I think it was an
American work sex worker that he had hired in February
two thousand and nine after a physical fight with a
prostitute in my Me Beach, Florida. Vince Offer born Vince
shlow Me, also known as the sham Wow Guy. According
to the police report and an arrest affid David Offer,
(09:10):
this is called the ShamWow Guy. The sham Wow Guy
met a woman identified as Sasha Harris in some reports.
So let me put on my ice agent mask for
a brief moment. If in this police report I see
the victim is Sasha Harris or the sex worker in
this case of Sasha Harris, I'm assuming she's not an illegal.
So you're right, Raj, he hired American made. Yeah, which
(09:32):
you know, you know it's not good to be caught,
you know, smacking a hooker but at least it wasn't
an illegal He paid her one thousand dollars for straight
sex in his hotel room. That's an interesting phrase because
they use it in quotations straight sex, but it's still
kind of open ended, like is it straight sex like
(09:57):
non gay or just straight sex? Like just sex and
nothing else?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
See you means more more Yeah, no weird fetish type thing, right,
Like are we talking?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah? Yeah, mm hmm. I like.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
I like how Charlie Sheen phrased it. He's like, I
don't I don't pay for sex. I paid them to leave.
Uh so uh because that yeah, so the straight sex,
So that's good. I mean, but then you're you're having
straight sex, nothing weird and half your tongue gets bitten off.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Splain yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
A physical fight erupted when the sham Wow guy reportedly
you know what, actually for this story, you're right trade
that the slap chop guy is more suited. A physical
fight erupted when the slap chop guy reportedly tried to
kiss her and she bit his tongue, refusing to let go. Ooh,
I wonder if this is the pretty woman scenarios him
no kissing and he's like she bit down to him,
(11:01):
not unless you're Richard Gear.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
It was Richard Gear, wouldn't be straight sex.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
The slap Chop guy then punched her several times in
the face, causing lacerations and fractures. Slap Chop ran to
the lobby for help with a bloodied tongue. Both individuals
were arrested. Slap Chop was charged with felony aggravated battery.
Are you ready for the case resolution?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
M HM.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Prosecutors later declined to file forward. Prosecutors later declined to
file formal charges against either person, so the case did
not result in a conviction. Slap Chop later said that
the arrest probably saved my life, though he has not
publicly elaborated on the circumstances leading to that sentiment.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
I believe meth was involved.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Yes, I think there was like drugs and alcohol involved
in that.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
But here's my question. We're guys.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Uh, if you are kissing a girl and she bites
down on your tongue, wouldn't you start punching.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
To how hard is she biting?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Like? Not a good way?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Well then I won't hit her in a bad way.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Your good trios. This is a line a treof.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
On air, dum Co.
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dot com. I'm not sure if any of us expected this,
but rip the DOGE. DOGE is no more the Department
(15:11):
of Government Efficiency has been shut down by the federal
government and what some are calling a friendly fire incident
because it allegedly turned into just another bureaucratic entity that
it was set out to destroy in the first place.
I love a good irony story, and this kind of
seems like it. It is no longer a centralized entity.
(15:34):
That is according to the first public comments from Trump's
administration at the end of DOGE. This came from the
Office of Personnel Management Director Scott Kupor. He said that
doesn't exist at least not anymore eight months early, Trey,
is this a good thing? Is this sort of like
a well they did their job and now they're done
(15:57):
or was this just more of a sounds like the
idea fizzled.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Well, their charter was only I mean, they're basically shutting
down eight months early. It was not something that was
set up to be a permanent fixture. I mean didn't
come close to what it's it's stated goals were I'm
gonna guess at the end of the day, probably net
neutral cut some waste, but probably wasted some money.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
That sounds like a perfect government department. I mean, honestly,
that's on paper what most departments are like at the
federal level.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Well, when you're most of them just piss away money.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yeah, given enough time, it probably would have as well.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
But I mean when you have when one of the
main guys that they brought on board as an ecstasy
and ketamine addiction, I can't imagine it functioning well.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Was that the guy was that the one whose handle
was Harry Balls with Z.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
No it's Elon Musk. He talked about it.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Yeah, we carred a whole thing around with him that
had next to see in Kennymine.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Well, forget him for a moment, but like one of
the guys that was actually saddled with going through and
trying to discover and find all this waste. I think
he was like a nineteen or twenty year old employee
of Musks and like his handle online was something like
Harry Balls or monkey Balls or something.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Yes, you're gonna send him an email, sir, your.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Handle violates federal HR policies. KED can you at least
change it to Harry and just take off the balls.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
He's like, cool, now I means just Harry's sixty nine.
You're like, oh man, God, we.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Should have just should have let him keep the balls.
They made him worse.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
That email. Can you go back to balls? Please?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Changed a lot more people, honest to God, call call
yourself whatever you want. If you can find some honest
to God legitimate waste in this government and do something
about it, Please God, make it happen. I don't care
what your what your you know, Reddit handle is.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
It is funny though, because side note, uh girlfriend works
in HR and the.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Girlfriend does uh huh, oh no you remember here?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, but you like you've heard about it for ages
and and I kind of figured it. People had wised up,
you know. It's like, hey, when you become an adult,
drop you know the you know, gamer boy sixty nine
handle from your email and like get a professional one
and she gets it all the time of the resumes
(18:48):
of people with you know, like gamer boy sixty nine
for their email addresses. It's like, how do you want
to be taken seriously?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Do they think that doesn't show up?
Speaker 4 (18:58):
They use it?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
It's like you know, get another email addressed, dude.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Get a burner.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, like, you don't have to. If you love, if
you love your gamer tag or your first email address
so much that you want to hang on to top
Brony sixty nine, then fine. But yeah, at least go
to Gmail and pick up a more professional sounding one,
something that you know allows you to allows you to
(19:25):
lead a different life, a professional life, and whatever else
you're in.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Two on the side.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Fine, there was something in there. There was something else
in there, hr related in your girlfriend Trey. Now I'm
blinking on what it was. I guess I was just
so distracted by the fact that people still use their
idiotic email handles in a professional sense. AT's my god,
(19:51):
it was wrong with people. Oh, I remember what it was.
We should we shouldn't be all that surprised having the
sham Wow guy running for Congress when we had a
guy in the gun going by hairy Balls with a
Z working for the Office of Personal Management. I love
twenty twenty five. I think the time we're living in
(20:11):
right now really is a special, special era.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
Can you imagine just sitting in that waiting room and
somebody goes, mister balls will see you now.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Plate, but the plate is also fuzzy, Like everyone made
a big deal in the movie Idiocracy, because everything that's
happening in our lives in real life feels like it's
a plot or a subplot or a sequel to the
movie Idiocracy. And in that movie, the popular shoes that
(20:41):
everyone wore were crocs. The popular shoes that everyone now
wears in real life are crocs. I feel like we're
only a small step away from wearing crocs for shoes.
We're eventually going to get some sort of soft, rubber,
silicone headwear to protect what little brain matter we.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Have left, let's hope not.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
You don't want to be a crockhead.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I I really think you go against Darwinism if you
if you start putting helmets on people.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
This country's founded.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Stilling the herd well exactly.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
That's why you can't have helmets like that's yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Mean you can have them, but it has to be
your own choice, I.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Mean now, yeah, especially like if you believe in time blindness,
please you are not allowed to wear a helmet.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you guys own do you Dan?
Do you own a pair of crocs? No?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I used to have some for yard shoes. But I don't, really,
I don't.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I lost them.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I don't know what happened to them.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Trey you have I at one point someone had gotten
me a pair, and granted they were comfortable, and I'd
wear them to like just go outside and.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Walk dazy or whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
But no, not on a date, no long going, not
on your job interview with Harry Balls sixty nine.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
I think that a mandatory wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
You know, you get the job when they hand you
a pair of fuzzy crocks to wear around the office.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
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Speaker 4 (23:42):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Now time for us inside the Treehouse to go on
a little road trip and step inside a place we
don't often go, and that's a museum. Twelve hundred years ago,
a Viking took a dump and now it's in a museum.
(24:10):
This is the largest fossilized human turd in existence.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I can think of a few others.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
This is an actual turd, raj, not just a figurative one.
I agree with you, but this is just an actual turd. Yeah,
so this is a real thing. This is the largest
fossilized human poo in existence. My god, this is just
so so, that's sure.
Speaker 5 (24:39):
Yeah, it's a It's an impressive sized pooh. I would
I would expect nothing more from a Viking than if
it was a small poof from a Viking, I would
be very sad.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, based on research and study of this Viking turd,
apparently the Viking who left it was probably also said
at least physically okay, because, according to researchers, if I
can find it here. According to researchers, the title of
(25:13):
the most expensive poop in history belongs to an extraordinary
Viking copper light dating back twelve hundred years, discovered in York,
England in nineteen seventy two during construction work. It's an
exciting job. This remarkable specimen measures an impressive eight inches
in length and two inches in width, making it the
(25:40):
largest fossilized human excrement ever uncovered. Aptly named the Lloyd's
Bank copper Light after the nearby Lloyd's Bank, it carries
an astonishing valuation of thirty nine thousand dollars. Experts believe
it originated from a ninth century Viking who suffered from
intestinal parasites, offering unique insights into Viking dietary habits and
(26:03):
health conditions. Today, this fascinating artifact proudly resides at the
Yorvik Viking Center. I have questions mm hmm. Number one,
why is this turd bolted down.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I think the hold like it's that like through a casing.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Well still it's got like the the glass or plastic
cuffs over each end of it. Like are they afraid
it's going to run off?
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Well?
Speaker 5 (26:43):
What if somebody bumps into it and and the pooh goes?
I don't know how to phrase this.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What does the pooh go.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
The pooh shatters? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Just imagine all the years of study, yeah, that you
did as a person, yeah, into archaeology, anthropology, the papers,
the late not study sessions, the testing, all to be
the guy that has to wear the white gloves that
carries the Viking turd around the museum.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I want to know is how do they value this
at thirty nine thousand dollars? Like what director of antiquities
was called in to u you know.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
How?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Like I mean, did they take this on the Antique
road Show?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I want to see that episode. Look what I found
on my construction site.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
If it wasn't fossilized, that would be like what if
it was just one of the constructive instruction workers that
took a dumb and was like, oh I gotta go
right now and on site, and I was like, no, no, no,
that's a Viking turd.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
That wasn't me. That's fossilized.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I mean, we're talking about a turd here that, as
it said, was eight inches long and two inches in diameter.
That is a that's a healthy that's a healthy turd.
I'm surprised the Viking who left it wasn't found a
few feet away also fossilized after having past this thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Because I way, you know, think of fossilizes that. It
kind of shrieks at that point because and yeah, what
what was he eating that his turd fossilized? I feel
like they you know, get wet, they dissolve.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Lies, come and break it all down.
Speaker 8 (28:50):
You're right, yeah, maybe it's like the old you know, uh,
the camping thing that I heard, like it dig a
hole and then you can poop it and then you
cover it.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
So maybe he did that.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
And then you know, after twelve hundred years, you know,
they're like, hey, we need a parking lot here.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Oh look, Viking turd.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
So these guys are everywhere Jesus.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
And how okay, how do they know what's I'm like,
the test ding it like, I don't know how they
know it's like, well, this is a this is definitely
a Viking, definitely a Viking turd.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
You know what if if they can do twenty three
and meters and figure out true certain things, I'm sure
they can find out some things about a twelve hundred
year old fossilized turd.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
And I always figured if you have intestinal parasites, they're
eating what you're consuming. Clearly they had had enough because
because then if it weren't for intestinal parasites, there's gonna
be some bleeding involved with that.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
One, right, because this is the one that got out. Yeah,
we don't know what might have been left inside of him,
a lah elvis. You know when they when they opened
up his insides, all the stuff that was impacted.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
How do we know that isn't the intestinal parasite? How
do we not know that that's the ancestor of tremors?
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Nobody moved a muscle.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Because honestly, Trey, you're right when you look at this thing,
it actually does look like one of the worms from trimmers,
exactly like Michael Grossman and Reba uh or not Reba
is the Reba McIntyre. Mm hmm, yeah, I can see
Michael Grossman from Family Ties and Reba McIntyre shooting this
thing in the mouth with an elephant gun in their basement.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Maybe that's the origin story. We found it Hollywood's big
digging up eighty stuff.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
There you go. This is the redoot. Ye gotta love
holiday weeks.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
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(31:33):
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next time right here inside the Treehouse