December 4, 2025 • 35 mins
On today's show, granny still knows how to eat it, where to not follow your dreams, a raccoon who can't handle his booze, drunk monkey island, and a biker influencer has a really bad day.
LINKS:
octogenarian wins 'best technique' at lesbian pie-eating contest: 'Savoured every morsel'
Teen with dreams of lion taming mauled to death after climbing into enclosure at zoo
Drunk raccoon found passed out in liquor store bathroom: Officials - ABC News
Biker Influencer Karen Sofía Quiroz Ramírez Dead at 25
The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.
The Treehouse Website
Get MORE from the Treehouse Show on Patreon
Get a FREE roof inspection from the best company in DFW:
Cook DFW Roofing & Restoration
CLICK HERE TO DONATE:
The RMS Treehouse Listeners Foundation
LINKS:
octogenarian wins 'best technique' at lesbian pie-eating contest: 'Savoured every morsel'
Teen with dreams of lion taming mauled to death after climbing into enclosure at zoo
Drunk raccoon found passed out in liquor store bathroom: Officials - ABC News
Biker Influencer Karen Sofía Quiroz Ramírez Dead at 25
The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.
The Treehouse Website
Get MORE from the Treehouse Show on Patreon
Get a FREE roof inspection from the best company in DFW:
Cook DFW Roofing & Restoration
CLICK HERE TO DONATE:
The RMS Treehouse Listeners Foundation
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Want more Treehouse, check out our YouTube exclusive shows at
YouTube dot com. Slash at Treehouse on air.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It is time leave your worries outside and laugh with
us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trenholm,
Raj Sharma and Jerry Caldwell. At the end of what
appears to be Old People Week, inside the Treehouse told
you a story about the world's oldest bus driver, ninety
(00:42):
five year old Raymond Hagar in Wichita Falls, Texas. Then
I believe it was yesterday I told you about the
Grandma's Stand in McKinney. That's where you can talk to
and listen to a sweet old Lady's started in New
York City, And now it seems San Francisco had started
(01:07):
their version because over the weekend, eighty one year old
Babs Ditch competed in a San Francisco lesbian pie eating
contest and one best technique, proving there is no age
limit to good tongue skills. The competition took place at
(01:31):
Ricky Sports Bar to raise money for the Curve Foundations
twenty twenty six Lesbian Visibility Week. I'd say mission accomplished there.
Uh yeah, Ricky's is the only sports bar in the
San Francisco Bay Area dedicated to celebrating women's sports. They
described the contest as an epically sloppy, no hands, no
(01:51):
forks battle for bragging rights had a one hundred dollars
cash prize.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Sounds like a speed dating competition.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, it could have started as one thing and finished
as something else, as headshake in there. This is also
a good time to promote our Patreon. Go to patreon
dot com slash treehouse on air and you can see
Babs getting after it.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Oh be Babs.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, but now that you've seen a lesbian pie eating contest,
do you want to see a gay hot dog eating contest?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I mean, I guess in the interest of fairness, yeah,
I mean at this point.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Well, sorry to disappoint you, because I don't therefore I
didn't google that. Yay. Look this popped up on my
algorithm this morning, and I'm not prepared for any more
Algo shifts. Okay, so I'm not piping in gay hot
dog eating contest into my computer today. Thank you if
you want to be my guest, or if lucky, perhaps
(03:00):
you were Babs guessed at one point over the eight decades,
good on her though, Yeah, rocking it in the move
Boo and the Beret.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah. That the combination is pretty spectacular.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
And it's interesting too because you noticed she kept her
eye glasses on, so she wanted to see what she
was doing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Are those glasses or goggled?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You know what. I'm not sure. Let's see if we
can go back and take a look it kind of
it's tough to tell. I mean, there were she goes
face first into that pie. It looks more like eye glasses.
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
She she's a season vet. I mean they probably dual function,
that's true, right.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, she's definitely a season vet. She's seen war.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
She's eating pie in the best of times. She's eating
pie in the worst of times. She's been in a
dust bowl when it was a euphemism.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I don't know what what qualifies as a Subaru classic,
but I bet she drives it invented and I bet
you didn't go home alone.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I bet Oh, yeah, no, definitely not. And the sticker
on the back of that Subaru tray will read I
can even make a dust bowl wet or just simply
lesbian pie Eating Champion twenty twenty five, sim Francisco, So it.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Might be one of those that has you know, twenty
stickers that it goes back to nineteen eighty eight.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
A fine year, a fire, very fine year. Like I guess,
I guess it was because of the other stories I
saw this week, the ninety five year old bus driver,
the actual grandma stands and McKinney that you know social
media algorithm said, you know what Dan needs to see today.
He needs to see this old lady getting after a pie.
(05:08):
And you know what, it wasn't wrong, which.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Brandy told me. She goes, well, you're like my grandma
stand You know, I come to you and I need
something to explain.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Wow, just when you thought dating a younger woman was
gonna be fun. Uh huh, she stabs you right in
your old ass heart. On the other hand, trap, you
could lean into that and you can have a daddy stand,
except there will be no talking. That had to hurt
(05:48):
when she said that, though.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
You know, she meant it in a nice way, and
it was just the way it came out there. It was, Yeah,
it's stung a little bit. Then I found it amusing.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, I'm glad you can find it amusing. But it's
interesting how when young people pay an older person a compliment.
It hurts first because they don't realize it's like they
just genuinely think they're offering up a compliment. Problem is
they're not on the receiving side of it, so they
don't realize that it's sweet. But it also stings a bit.
What was she asking you about that she needed to
(06:22):
go to your stand and ask for clarification or information
on the past?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I don't remember what the question.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Was, classic old man maneuver.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, Trey just fell asleep midway through, woke up and
just screamed, get off my lawn.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It was something about the Cold War and that's ah,
did you tell her? It was the best?
Speaker 3 (06:51):
It was?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
The The Cold War was the best inspiration Hollywood has
ever had because we got some of our finest films
out of the Cold War. In music and music, Yeah,
I mean tons of great stuff. Like don't get me wrong.
The post nine to eleven era was also good for
Hollywood because for a while there, Hollywood didn't know who
the new bad guys were. The Cold War was over
(07:14):
and then it's kind of shifting stuff and it was
kind of lost, and then nine to eleven happens and
you got a little bit of terrorist stuff in there
before nine to eleven. But after nine eleven, then Hollywood's like,
now we got our bad guys for every show, every everything,
and we're still in that era.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh yeah, trust me. I would get you know, go
to these auditions and you know there's fifty people in
there that looked just like each other.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was like, no, I can't. And so I remember
telling Fern, who's the vice president casting for CBS. I
was like, no cab drivers, no terrorists, and she's just like, well,
then you're not gonna work. And I was like, okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
It's okay to have standards. Yeah, it really is. It's
okay to be like, you know what, I don't want
to I don't want to only portray a stereotype.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I would look at it as I guess it kind
of depends on you know, uh, if you need to
pay bills and or well, let me at least look
at the script. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
No, I just couldn't do it. I remember I turned
down one audition for it's called Taxi twenty Taxi twenty
one or some Taxi twenty two something length, and I
just was like, I can't go I'm not going to
be And this was playing a like devout Muslim cab driver,
(08:42):
like the whole garb, and I was like, Nope, I'm
not going. And I get a call from Fern and
she's like, you're the owner of the cab company. I
was like, I'll see it at the audition.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
As long as I'm in management. Because because because it
does make sense if you were to say, as you did,
you told the head of CBS, no cab drivers, no terrorists.
I'm not playing those roles. But what if she came
to you with a doctor a medical drama, because it's
also very stereotypical Indians in the medical field, would you
(09:13):
have turned that down because it was stereotypical.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
No, but also keep in mind that's brand new, like
Er was on for fourteen fifteen years before they had
an Indian doctor. Yeah, and I would watch I love
the show, and I would watch it. I'm like, I
just don't trust that hospital. Yeah, like there's not one
Indian doctor in that place.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I'm not going. Eventually they did. Eventually they did, but
it took a few seasons.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, and they brought in perminder nagra from Bend Atle
like Backham yep, and that was the only one. And
then now you turn on like you go to the show.
I don't know if you guys watched the pit. No,
it's really good, that's what I've heard. And there's a few.
There's a few Indian doctors and that one one's a
female resident. That's pretty cool. So no, I would tend
(10:03):
I mean stuff like that, like scientist doctor.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So it's okay if the stereotype is prestigious, Yes, got it.
So if CBS comes calling with doctor Sharma new from
CBS Wednesday nights at nine, Healing Hearts and Racist Minds,
Oh yeah, every week, every week, every Wednesday at nine,
(10:29):
you'd be on board with that one.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
The way you can act like your parents are proud
of you.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yep. I just want to be able to say, you know,
not a doctor, but I play one on TV. Let's
just be able to say that line and mean it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And ironically it'll pay more.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
This is.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Are dot com.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Eight three three Cook df W is the phone number
to get your free roof inspection and property reviews scheduled
with Daniel Cook eight three three Cook at DFW. The
website cookdfw dot com. We talked on a recent episode
Daniel on My Television. It suggested to me I should
watch the film Christmas Twister. I will say, based on
(11:26):
the artwork, I was very intrigued. But after watching the trailer,
man that is I can That's as much as I
can say. I mean that is, that is some terrible performances,
and those are the ones that they put in the trailer.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Well, Dan, that's scary because if you which we all
know who listened to the show, you will give a
lot of leniency toward bad movies. So if you're the
one that's saying, WHOA, this is going to be awful,
I'm really scared. I have not heard of that movie
at all. But if I'm gonna trust that, if you're
the one saying that, I'm definitely not gonna go look
(12:06):
it up.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I'll send you a link to the trailer. If you're
a fan of Starship Troopers, I think I just said
Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers like Starship Troopers. This film, Christmas
Twister also stars Casper Van Dean.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I am not a Starship Trooper fan.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
That movie was so ridiculous I can hardly get through it.
I kind of got mad at myself that I stood
there and waited and watched it.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think that's part of the reason. There was just
something about it at the time, and I'm like, why
do I love this movie? It's just dumb and dumb,
and it's one of those that it's kind of it's
kind of morphed into a comedy. So like, if I
watch it now, it's hysterical, especially when Neil Patrick Harris's
(12:53):
character comes on for those little commercials. It's like, as
they're torturing this alien life for him, but like want
to know.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
More, Come on, come join us.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yes, uh well, speaking of come join us, come join
the party on the roof that happens every single day
at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration in the most respectable, honest
terms eight three three cook DFW. Get that free roof
inspection and property review eight three three cook DFW, especially
if your home gets hit by a Christmas twister.
Speaker 6 (13:37):
You're in the treehouse, visit us online at Treehouse on
air dot com.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by
Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof
inspection and property review. No one else offers that as
far as we know, call eight three three cook DFW.
That's eight three three cook DFW or the website cookdfw
dot com. Turns out Jerry was the one brave enough,
(14:06):
brave enough to search for gay hot dog eating contest
and nothing came up. Jerry, Uh, nothing, legit came up. Well,
just sit back and wait. I'm sure you'll get an
invitation in no time.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Apparently, Joey Chestnut is still the winner of the Nathans
record holder of the Nathan's hot Dog eating contest at
seventy six hot dogs, which is about the equivalent of
sixteen pounds of wiener.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
He'd be popular at Hunky's.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I just don't know how that happened. How they do that?
The competitive eating is it just how do they stretch
their stomach out to do something like that?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
One I believe it's practice. And two they don't eat
the hot dogs in a normal way that we all
eat a hot dog. You know, you got you know,
the wiener in the bun and then your toppings and stuff. Well,
the first of all, they have no topics on it.
And what they do is they eat the wieners separately
from the bread, and the bread they soak in water
so they can just swallow it. Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Yeah, but still seventy two hot dogs has or seventy
seven hot dogs whatever it is, has to take up
a tremendous amount of space in your stomach. So I
don't know how they.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
That's why you're not allowed. That's why you're not allowed
to poke any of them in the belly after the competition. Right,
It's like.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
They they they practice like they have a whole training
regiment that they go through.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
It sounds stupid because it is, but it's real. They
have an absolute regiment when it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
I saw some video some guy and this was the
second fastest time, Like he did like that old seventy
six er from that steakhouse in Amarilla.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Seventy two ounce, yeah, the Big ex and Steak ranch
in Amarillo.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah, which it's not only the steak, but it's like
a baked potato and some other things solid. Yeah, he
finished it all in six minutes and twenty three seconds
And that was the second fastest time ever.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Holy shit. Yeah. The first fastest was a lady in
twenty fifteen. I think she knocked it out in like
five something minutes. I mean, it's it's insane what people
are able to do if they really set their mind
to it. Speaking of which, it is great to have dreams,
but you also need a plan. Okay, case in point
(16:35):
a wanna be lion tamer was killed by a lion. Again,
great to have dreams, that you need to have a plan.
You can't just jump into a lion enclosure in Brazil
and think you automatically know how to tame lions without
any sort of tools. But that's exactly what this guy did.
(17:00):
Year old man was mauled to death after climbing into
a lion enclosure Sunday morning in Brazil. Viral video capture
the incident. No, I don't have it, and I didn't
look for it. Showed the victims scaling a roughly twenty
six foot tall fence to enter the lioness's enclosure at
Aruda Kamara Zubatentacal Park.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You really did see the video?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I assume it was just him climbing into the enclosure
and then I'm sure social media police, you know, turn
it off or make it go dark before the before
the lioness grabs him by the mouth, which is what
I heard.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
She did it's blurred, but what he does is he
hops on a fence, then he jumps onto a tree
and then shimmies down the tree to get into the enclosure.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So he learned to break into this lion enclosure by
watching looney tunes.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
This was not his first time. From what I read,
h that that he he was delusional and thought he
had a connection with the lions, and uh was well,
the zoo knew he was crazy. He wouldn't hire him.
M But you know sometimes they say, like bartending, you
don't know if you can really do it till you
(18:08):
get behind the bar.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And you just throw yourself to the lions. Ye no, oh,
you're not wrong about that. But I will say it
turns out he did have a connection to those lions.
I mean it was more like them to him. But
still I don't know if that same affection he had
in his heart was shared with the lions unless they
(18:33):
ate the heart as well. But his name was Gerson
Demelo Machado. He had long aspired to be a lion tamer.
Turns out he was not. He reportedly did have mental
health issues and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. The zoo
confirmed in a statement that the individual deliberately entered the enclosure,
(18:53):
was attacked by the animal and did not survive his injuries. So,
knowing what we now know about this story, and from
what Trey told us about how this guy was a
repeat offender, he had attempted to and had actually jumped
into the line enclosure previously, shouldn't zoos have security on
(19:14):
site to tranquilize the guests and the animals as needed.
You would think, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I would say probably most American zoos have something on hand.
But this is Brazil.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I'm Brazil's not exactly you know. I mean, it's not
a third world country. They have money, they have capabilities,
They have a zoo. It has an enclosure. It's not
like just a walk about part Afghanistan had a zoo
Dan Okay, look that's different. I believe theirs was zoo.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
In quotations, I mean, I feel confident like most American
zoos you would not be able to pull off what
this guy did. They and maybe maybe we're just ahead
of this of all the other zoos in idiot prevention.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
You know what, I think that's it, That's exactly right,
because in America, we know that we have to make
the enclosure not just safe from the lions jumping out
into the guests, but being enough room from where the
guests stand to trees and things to launch themselves into
the enclosure. You're right, we've, idiot proved it going both ways.
(20:38):
Brazil only did it the one way, and now that
dude paid the price, I mean.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
And we had an advantage. We have white women here
that that we have, you know, just study them and
know how to, you know, keep them out of enclosures,
and then you're pretty much safe because they will go
to any means you know necessary to pet the death.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Kiddie. Absolutely, you keep an eye. You keep an eye
on Keeley and Kylie. You see what they do, and
then you just you know, make the appropriate adjustments in
their wake.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Also, doesn't the Dallas zoos serve beer and wine and liquor.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I don't know about liquor.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I know beer and wine.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, And also I want to keep them from getting
sauced and then and then deciding at that moment like
I'm gonna be a lion tamer as well.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
I'm just gonna jump off the mono rail in the
wilds of Africa.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I can I can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm gonna peditor out.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Are left kids? We have a free roaming primate stupidest spiral.
Uh so, yes, Stray, I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I think the US has idiot proved to a higher
standard than the rest of the world. On the other hand,
maybe the rest of the world doesn't want to idiot
proof because they're like, you know what, you want to
go to an American zoo, you can't get close to
these animals at all. You come to our zoo in
the second or third world country, you might have a chance.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
And for everyone else it's like, hey, we didn't charge
any extra for that show.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
M hm. That's also true speaking of shows and wild animals.
So it's apparently old People and Animals week here inside
the Treehouse and this one is an immediate classic of
a Virginia liquor store had an unusual guest over the weekend.
A drunk raccoon was found passed out in the bathroom.
(22:31):
Oh beautiful. According to the Hanover County Animal Protection and
Shelter authorities, found the masked bandit collapsed face down in
the bathroom of the Ashland ABC store on Saturday morning,
where the furry burglar had apparently gotten so White Girl
wasted it, ransacked the bottom shelves, and drank multiple types
of alcohol. In a social media post, officials said they
(22:56):
took the very intoxicated raccoon back to the shelter to
sober up before releasing him back into the wild. I
think that maybe what they should have done was to
turn the raccoon over to tray to immediately take to
an AA meeting. According to the authorities, after a few
(23:17):
hours of sleep and zero signs of injury other than
maybe a hangover in poor life choices, the raccoon was
safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that
breaking and entering is not the answer. Usually, the Hanover
County Animal Production and Shelter helps rescued animals if they're
found in the wild. This case was a little different,
(23:37):
but the mission remained the same.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And have a hell of a story for his buddies.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yes, that's right, I found the magical land of liquor boys.
Let me tell you all about it. And now let
me ask you guys this. Let's say you work at
this liquor store. You walk into the bathroom on Saturday
morning to give it a clean before opening up the
door to the public and you come across a face
down raccoon next to the toilet. What do you do?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Miserate a little bit. I've been there, buddy, Just shut
the door, given out a murder sign.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, I just turn off a light and leave then,
because an't they don't they carry brabies, is right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I don't think they carry it innately, but they you know,
it is sometimes possible for them to get rabies and
go a little crazy. In this case, I don't think
this one was foaming at the mouth. I think it
was just you know, frothing.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah, he drink, he'd drink the rabies away.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Maybe that's what it was. He had rabies and he
got into the bottom shelf liquor and just whiskeyed it away.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yeah, that's that's how you beat uh rabies in the
animal world. You just get hammered. Yeah, and hope it
goes away.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Right, Like that's in the pamphlet they hand out rabies
in you an unexpected journey that ends at the liquor store,
face down in the bathroom. It's good and convenience.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
He didn't have to wait for the per simons to
fall off the tree and start you know, fermenting.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, this this that actually reminds me of I can
never remember the island, but it's an island somewhere that's
full of monkeys and they drink, they steal alcohol, and
they eat fermented fruits like crazy. They're just crazy, crazy
drunk monkeys. And I think they smell.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, that's gonna be somewhere like Southeast Asia. That's what
that sounds like.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Yeah, that's that's not rock Wall. I mean no, no,
you mean what maybe not every night?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It just depends on what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, I
guess the real question there would be if you work
at that liquor store where you open the door and
see the raccoon face down, you know, next to the toilet,
is does he have a friend that's human next to him,
also face down holding his fur back?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Saint Kitts.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
That's where it is, really it is in the Caribbean.
You just gave me a whole new island to go explore.
That's not that far away from where I live.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Yeah, but that they can also rip your face off,
So now alcohol.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I think they don't give him fireball and don't give
him Jaeger. I feel mostly safe about it. If you
just give him like like beechy cocktails, give him a
nice rum punch. I don't think they'll have the fighting
gena turned on.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yeah, rum punch.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You These are the small ones that, uh, I think
the vervet monkeys something like that.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Okay, so the non face rippers, yeah, they're just they're
just here for the party. How the Saint Kit's not
made that part of their tourism campaign, right, Just drunk
monkeys screaming I'm here for the party, me too, Just
a four page pamphlet. Drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys.
(27:32):
I mean, is it. I think it's the Bahamas that
have the the feral pigs on the island and they're
actually kind of crazy, like they'll eat some stuff. But
you know, drunk monkeys on Saint Kits, I mean, that's
that'll that'll bring in tourists. Yeah, I mean just imagine, yeah,
imagine being at a swim at bar and that the
dude next to you, it's just a full on monkey.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Saint Kits. Come for the weather, stay for the drunk monkeys.
See it sells itself, it does. I'm never going, but
you guys have fun.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, I just have a monkey with a Pina colada
and a cigarette. Hey yeah, here for a good time,
not a long time.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
We're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online a Treehouse
on Air dot com. Do you feel restless and anxious?
Feel like something's missing in your life? Maybe you just
need a little more Treehouse in it. Go to patreon
dot com slash Treehouse on Air and check out all
the bonus features of subscription offers, including bonus shows, behind
the scenes content, special subscriber only live shows, and so
(28:50):
much more. That's Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air.
That's p A t r e o in dot com
slash Treehouse on Air.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
You're in the Treehouse. Visit us online at Treehouse OnAir
dot com.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
You know the saying too close for comfort? That's how
I felt there near the end. Thank you, Jerry, appreciate that.
If it is Thursday, Happy Thursday to you. If it
is your Friday that you're listening to the show, Happy
Ford Day Inside the Treehouse. Two massive stories that we
need to touch on before we close up the Treehouse
for this week. The first of which is this a
(29:40):
sport Bank influencer is dead at the age of twenty five,
killed after running into a truck. You know the saying
at least they died doing what they love. I feel
like the reason why you do the thing saying that
you love is because it doesn't kill you, and the
(30:03):
moment that it does kill you, I feel like the
love affairs should be over. That's just what I think
it is. It is, yeah, but I mean as I mean,
as the truck is going through your body and eventually
gets to the heart, I imagine you're not going to
have the love for the sport biking that you once did. Again.
(30:27):
That's just me, though. Karen Sophia Kiros Ramirez, a popular
influencer known for posting motorcycle related content, has died. The star,
also known as bike Girl Online, lost control of her
motorcycle and ran into a truck in Columbia on Wednesday.
After colliding with the trunk, she was then run over
(30:48):
by another truck. This is sorry, come on the most like.
According to a transportation official, the most likely hypothesis for
the accident is that the motorcyclist was traveling between two
vehicles and act more commonly referred to as lane splitting.
(31:10):
The official also told an investigation into her death is underway,
although I imagine it won't take very long. So just
keep that in mind with whatever hobby you have is
just you know, if it has a deadly element to it,
(31:30):
maybe don't do it. Be careful, or don't do the
stupid side of it. Because the lane splitting thing, I've
seen a lot. I've seen a lot of that, and
I see that a lot of where I live, and
I wonder, I don't know how you guys don't eat
more trucks, but and when and when someone does, By
the way, like we've seen this in the like the
(31:51):
DFW motorcycle community where they do the stunting and they'll
shut down the freeways and inevitably one of them gets
hurt and or dies. They all have a big motorcycle
uh you know, rally on the middle of a freeway
where they stop trafficking stunt in memory of the person
that died doing that exact thing. I'm not saying you're
(32:12):
asking for it. I'm just saying, maybe find a different
way to you know, celebrate your sport or to live
life on the edge.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, like a stupid In California, lane splitting is legal,
Like you can like they encourage it because of how
conjust to traffic is.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah, that's right. I remember going to California before, and
that was a legal thing where they're allowed to do it,
and in Texas it's not right, right, Yeah, in Texas
you might catch a door, and and in Texas, if
you catch a door, it's your fault. In California, if
you catch a door, then it's probably the other driver's fault.
(32:51):
But Texas lives by a different code than California. Yeah,
and then finally, go ahead, rush.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I was just say because if you didn't let them
split lanes and they just had to follow normal traffic
law mid the the backup would be insane, would it?
Mm hmm? There's so many motorcycles, I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I guess I guess there aren't is I guess there
aren't as many traffic or motorcycle related deaths on the
freeways in California. So they they guess it's okay, or
it's at least worth it from a statistical standpoint. It
just doesn't seem worth it to me from a safety
standpoint versus a traffic standpoint, to have lanes splitting be legal.
(33:34):
I mean, the cars aren't really moving in California, right,
I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I mean during I mean like during your rush hour,
like the morning rush hour, afternoon rush hour, but like
during the day, it's pretty pretty decent, but not.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
When traffic is stopped. If I'm a motorcyclist going between lanes,
That's when I'd be most worried, because what if someone's
been sitting in that car for forty five minutes, an hour,
two hours, three hours, and right as I'm going by
is when they decide to get out of the car
and go take a leak on the side of the road.
And that's when I eat their door. It's fair and
(34:13):
then and then finally tray. This one's for you if
you have a complicated relationship with your mother. Here is
a new idea. A man donated his mom's body to science,
but the military used it for an explosion test. Trey
(34:38):
is now thinking about and fantasizing about all the possibilities
of what to do with his mom when she passes.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Oh oh, she has to pass first.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
That changes things a bit. Yeah, for it to be legal. Yes,
for all things Treehouse. Go to Treehouse on air dot com.
You can also find and follow us on social media
and by the way from your listening platform right now,
get that share button, Share the Treehouse Show with a
(35:13):
friend and let's grow at Treehouse on air, on social.
For me, it's at the Danielmalley. For Trey, it's at
Tree Trenholme One. For Raj at comedian Raj. And for Jerry,
it's at that Jerry guy. We we'll see you next time,
right here inside the Treehouse
Want more Treehouse, check out our YouTube exclusive shows at
YouTube dot com. Slash at Treehouse on air.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It is time leave your worries outside and laugh with
us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trenholm,
Raj Sharma and Jerry Caldwell. At the end of what
appears to be Old People Week, inside the Treehouse told
you a story about the world's oldest bus driver, ninety
(00:42):
five year old Raymond Hagar in Wichita Falls, Texas. Then
I believe it was yesterday I told you about the
Grandma's Stand in McKinney. That's where you can talk to
and listen to a sweet old Lady's started in New
York City, And now it seems San Francisco had started
(01:07):
their version because over the weekend, eighty one year old
Babs Ditch competed in a San Francisco lesbian pie eating
contest and one best technique, proving there is no age
limit to good tongue skills. The competition took place at
(01:31):
Ricky Sports Bar to raise money for the Curve Foundations
twenty twenty six Lesbian Visibility Week. I'd say mission accomplished there.
Uh yeah, Ricky's is the only sports bar in the
San Francisco Bay Area dedicated to celebrating women's sports. They
described the contest as an epically sloppy, no hands, no
(01:51):
forks battle for bragging rights had a one hundred dollars
cash prize.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Sounds like a speed dating competition.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, it could have started as one thing and finished
as something else, as headshake in there. This is also
a good time to promote our Patreon. Go to patreon
dot com slash treehouse on air and you can see
Babs getting after it.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Oh be Babs.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, but now that you've seen a lesbian pie eating contest,
do you want to see a gay hot dog eating contest?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I mean, I guess in the interest of fairness, yeah,
I mean at this point.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Well, sorry to disappoint you, because I don't therefore I
didn't google that. Yay. Look this popped up on my
algorithm this morning, and I'm not prepared for any more
Algo shifts. Okay, so I'm not piping in gay hot
dog eating contest into my computer today. Thank you if
you want to be my guest, or if lucky, perhaps
(03:00):
you were Babs guessed at one point over the eight decades,
good on her though, Yeah, rocking it in the move
Boo and the Beret.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah. That the combination is pretty spectacular.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
And it's interesting too because you noticed she kept her
eye glasses on, so she wanted to see what she
was doing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Are those glasses or goggled?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You know what. I'm not sure. Let's see if we
can go back and take a look it kind of
it's tough to tell. I mean, there were she goes
face first into that pie. It looks more like eye glasses.
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
She she's a season vet. I mean they probably dual function,
that's true, right.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, she's definitely a season vet. She's seen war.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
She's eating pie in the best of times. She's eating
pie in the worst of times. She's been in a
dust bowl when it was a euphemism.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I don't know what what qualifies as a Subaru classic,
but I bet she drives it invented and I bet
you didn't go home alone.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I bet Oh, yeah, no, definitely not. And the sticker
on the back of that Subaru tray will read I
can even make a dust bowl wet or just simply
lesbian pie Eating Champion twenty twenty five, sim Francisco, So it.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Might be one of those that has you know, twenty
stickers that it goes back to nineteen eighty eight.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
A fine year, a fire, very fine year. Like I guess,
I guess it was because of the other stories I
saw this week, the ninety five year old bus driver,
the actual grandma stands and McKinney that you know social
media algorithm said, you know what Dan needs to see today.
He needs to see this old lady getting after a pie.
(05:08):
And you know what, it wasn't wrong, which.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Brandy told me. She goes, well, you're like my grandma
stand You know, I come to you and I need
something to explain.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Wow, just when you thought dating a younger woman was
gonna be fun. Uh huh, she stabs you right in
your old ass heart. On the other hand, trap, you
could lean into that and you can have a daddy stand,
except there will be no talking. That had to hurt
(05:48):
when she said that, though.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
You know, she meant it in a nice way, and
it was just the way it came out there. It was, Yeah,
it's stung a little bit. Then I found it amusing.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, I'm glad you can find it amusing. But it's
interesting how when young people pay an older person a compliment.
It hurts first because they don't realize it's like they
just genuinely think they're offering up a compliment. Problem is
they're not on the receiving side of it, so they
don't realize that it's sweet. But it also stings a bit.
What was she asking you about that she needed to
(06:22):
go to your stand and ask for clarification or information
on the past?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I don't remember what the question.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Was, classic old man maneuver.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, Trey just fell asleep midway through, woke up and
just screamed, get off my lawn.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It was something about the Cold War and that's ah,
did you tell her? It was the best?
Speaker 3 (06:51):
It was?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
The The Cold War was the best inspiration Hollywood has
ever had because we got some of our finest films
out of the Cold War. In music and music, Yeah,
I mean tons of great stuff. Like don't get me wrong.
The post nine to eleven era was also good for
Hollywood because for a while there, Hollywood didn't know who
the new bad guys were. The Cold War was over
(07:14):
and then it's kind of shifting stuff and it was
kind of lost, and then nine to eleven happens and
you got a little bit of terrorist stuff in there
before nine to eleven. But after nine eleven, then Hollywood's like,
now we got our bad guys for every show, every everything,
and we're still in that era.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh yeah, trust me. I would get you know, go
to these auditions and you know there's fifty people in
there that looked just like each other.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was like, no, I can't. And so I remember
telling Fern, who's the vice president casting for CBS. I
was like, no cab drivers, no terrorists, and she's just like, well,
then you're not gonna work. And I was like, okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
It's okay to have standards. Yeah, it really is. It's
okay to be like, you know what, I don't want
to I don't want to only portray a stereotype.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I would look at it as I guess it kind
of depends on you know, uh, if you need to
pay bills and or well, let me at least look
at the script. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
No, I just couldn't do it. I remember I turned
down one audition for it's called Taxi twenty Taxi twenty
one or some Taxi twenty two something length, and I
just was like, I can't go I'm not going to
be And this was playing a like devout Muslim cab driver,
(08:42):
like the whole garb, and I was like, Nope, I'm
not going. And I get a call from Fern and
she's like, you're the owner of the cab company. I
was like, I'll see it at the audition.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
As long as I'm in management. Because because because it
does make sense if you were to say, as you did,
you told the head of CBS, no cab drivers, no terrorists.
I'm not playing those roles. But what if she came
to you with a doctor a medical drama, because it's
also very stereotypical Indians in the medical field, would you
(09:13):
have turned that down because it was stereotypical.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
No, but also keep in mind that's brand new, like
Er was on for fourteen fifteen years before they had
an Indian doctor. Yeah, and I would watch I love
the show, and I would watch it. I'm like, I
just don't trust that hospital. Yeah, like there's not one
Indian doctor in that place.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I'm not going. Eventually they did. Eventually they did, but
it took a few seasons.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, and they brought in perminder nagra from Bend Atle
like Backham yep, and that was the only one. And
then now you turn on like you go to the show.
I don't know if you guys watched the pit. No,
it's really good, that's what I've heard. And there's a few.
There's a few Indian doctors and that one one's a
female resident. That's pretty cool. So no, I would tend
(10:03):
I mean stuff like that, like scientist doctor.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So it's okay if the stereotype is prestigious, Yes, got it.
So if CBS comes calling with doctor Sharma new from
CBS Wednesday nights at nine, Healing Hearts and Racist Minds,
Oh yeah, every week, every week, every Wednesday at nine,
(10:29):
you'd be on board with that one.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
The way you can act like your parents are proud
of you.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yep. I just want to be able to say, you know,
not a doctor, but I play one on TV. Let's
just be able to say that line and mean it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And ironically it'll pay more.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
This is.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Are dot com.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Eight three three Cook df W is the phone number
to get your free roof inspection and property reviews scheduled
with Daniel Cook eight three three Cook at DFW. The
website cookdfw dot com. We talked on a recent episode
Daniel on My Television. It suggested to me I should
watch the film Christmas Twister. I will say, based on
(11:26):
the artwork, I was very intrigued. But after watching the trailer,
man that is I can That's as much as I
can say. I mean that is, that is some terrible performances,
and those are the ones that they put in the trailer.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Well, Dan, that's scary because if you which we all
know who listened to the show, you will give a
lot of leniency toward bad movies. So if you're the
one that's saying, WHOA, this is going to be awful,
I'm really scared. I have not heard of that movie
at all. But if I'm gonna trust that, if you're
the one saying that, I'm definitely not gonna go look
(12:06):
it up.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I'll send you a link to the trailer. If you're
a fan of Starship Troopers, I think I just said
Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers like Starship Troopers. This film, Christmas
Twister also stars Casper Van Dean.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I am not a Starship Trooper fan.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
That movie was so ridiculous I can hardly get through it.
I kind of got mad at myself that I stood
there and waited and watched it.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think that's part of the reason. There was just
something about it at the time, and I'm like, why
do I love this movie? It's just dumb and dumb,
and it's one of those that it's kind of it's
kind of morphed into a comedy. So like, if I
watch it now, it's hysterical, especially when Neil Patrick Harris's
(12:53):
character comes on for those little commercials. It's like, as
they're torturing this alien life for him, but like want
to know.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
More, Come on, come join us.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yes, uh well, speaking of come join us, come join
the party on the roof that happens every single day
at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration in the most respectable, honest
terms eight three three cook DFW. Get that free roof
inspection and property review eight three three cook DFW, especially
if your home gets hit by a Christmas twister.
Speaker 6 (13:37):
You're in the treehouse, visit us online at Treehouse on
air dot com.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by
Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof
inspection and property review. No one else offers that as
far as we know, call eight three three cook DFW.
That's eight three three cook DFW or the website cookdfw
dot com. Turns out Jerry was the one brave enough,
(14:06):
brave enough to search for gay hot dog eating contest
and nothing came up. Jerry, Uh, nothing, legit came up. Well,
just sit back and wait. I'm sure you'll get an
invitation in no time.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Apparently, Joey Chestnut is still the winner of the Nathans
record holder of the Nathan's hot Dog eating contest at
seventy six hot dogs, which is about the equivalent of
sixteen pounds of wiener.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
He'd be popular at Hunky's.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I just don't know how that happened. How they do that?
The competitive eating is it just how do they stretch
their stomach out to do something like that?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
One I believe it's practice. And two they don't eat
the hot dogs in a normal way that we all
eat a hot dog. You know, you got you know,
the wiener in the bun and then your toppings and stuff. Well,
the first of all, they have no topics on it.
And what they do is they eat the wieners separately
from the bread, and the bread they soak in water
so they can just swallow it. Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Yeah, but still seventy two hot dogs has or seventy
seven hot dogs whatever it is, has to take up
a tremendous amount of space in your stomach. So I
don't know how they.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
That's why you're not allowed. That's why you're not allowed
to poke any of them in the belly after the competition. Right,
It's like.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
They they they practice like they have a whole training
regiment that they go through.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
It sounds stupid because it is, but it's real. They
have an absolute regiment when it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
I saw some video some guy and this was the
second fastest time, Like he did like that old seventy
six er from that steakhouse in Amarilla.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Seventy two ounce, yeah, the Big ex and Steak ranch
in Amarillo.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah, which it's not only the steak, but it's like
a baked potato and some other things solid. Yeah, he
finished it all in six minutes and twenty three seconds
And that was the second fastest time ever.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Holy shit. Yeah. The first fastest was a lady in
twenty fifteen. I think she knocked it out in like
five something minutes. I mean, it's it's insane what people
are able to do if they really set their mind
to it. Speaking of which, it is great to have dreams,
but you also need a plan. Okay, case in point
(16:35):
a wanna be lion tamer was killed by a lion. Again,
great to have dreams, that you need to have a plan.
You can't just jump into a lion enclosure in Brazil
and think you automatically know how to tame lions without
any sort of tools. But that's exactly what this guy did.
(17:00):
Year old man was mauled to death after climbing into
a lion enclosure Sunday morning in Brazil. Viral video capture
the incident. No, I don't have it, and I didn't
look for it. Showed the victims scaling a roughly twenty
six foot tall fence to enter the lioness's enclosure at
Aruda Kamara Zubatentacal Park.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You really did see the video?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I assume it was just him climbing into the enclosure
and then I'm sure social media police, you know, turn
it off or make it go dark before the before
the lioness grabs him by the mouth, which is what
I heard.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
She did it's blurred, but what he does is he
hops on a fence, then he jumps onto a tree
and then shimmies down the tree to get into the enclosure.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So he learned to break into this lion enclosure by
watching looney tunes.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
This was not his first time. From what I read,
h that that he he was delusional and thought he
had a connection with the lions, and uh was well,
the zoo knew he was crazy. He wouldn't hire him.
M But you know sometimes they say, like bartending, you
don't know if you can really do it till you
(18:08):
get behind the bar.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And you just throw yourself to the lions. Ye no, oh,
you're not wrong about that. But I will say it
turns out he did have a connection to those lions.
I mean it was more like them to him. But
still I don't know if that same affection he had
in his heart was shared with the lions unless they
(18:33):
ate the heart as well. But his name was Gerson
Demelo Machado. He had long aspired to be a lion tamer.
Turns out he was not. He reportedly did have mental
health issues and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. The zoo
confirmed in a statement that the individual deliberately entered the enclosure,
(18:53):
was attacked by the animal and did not survive his injuries. So,
knowing what we now know about this story, and from
what Trey told us about how this guy was a
repeat offender, he had attempted to and had actually jumped
into the line enclosure previously, shouldn't zoos have security on
(19:14):
site to tranquilize the guests and the animals as needed.
You would think, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I would say probably most American zoos have something on hand.
But this is Brazil.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I'm Brazil's not exactly you know. I mean, it's not
a third world country. They have money, they have capabilities,
They have a zoo. It has an enclosure. It's not
like just a walk about part Afghanistan had a zoo
Dan Okay, look that's different. I believe theirs was zoo.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
In quotations, I mean, I feel confident like most American
zoos you would not be able to pull off what
this guy did. They and maybe maybe we're just ahead
of this of all the other zoos in idiot prevention.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
You know what, I think that's it, That's exactly right,
because in America, we know that we have to make
the enclosure not just safe from the lions jumping out
into the guests, but being enough room from where the
guests stand to trees and things to launch themselves into
the enclosure. You're right, we've, idiot proved it going both ways.
(20:38):
Brazil only did it the one way, and now that
dude paid the price, I mean.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
And we had an advantage. We have white women here
that that we have, you know, just study them and
know how to, you know, keep them out of enclosures,
and then you're pretty much safe because they will go
to any means you know necessary to pet the death.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Kiddie. Absolutely, you keep an eye. You keep an eye
on Keeley and Kylie. You see what they do, and
then you just you know, make the appropriate adjustments in
their wake.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Also, doesn't the Dallas zoos serve beer and wine and liquor.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I don't know about liquor.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I know beer and wine.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, And also I want to keep them from getting
sauced and then and then deciding at that moment like
I'm gonna be a lion tamer as well.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
I'm just gonna jump off the mono rail in the
wilds of Africa.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I can I can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm gonna peditor out.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Are left kids? We have a free roaming primate stupidest spiral.
Uh so, yes, Stray, I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I think the US has idiot proved to a higher
standard than the rest of the world. On the other hand,
maybe the rest of the world doesn't want to idiot
proof because they're like, you know what, you want to
go to an American zoo, you can't get close to
these animals at all. You come to our zoo in
the second or third world country, you might have a chance.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
And for everyone else it's like, hey, we didn't charge
any extra for that show.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
M hm. That's also true speaking of shows and wild animals.
So it's apparently old People and Animals week here inside
the Treehouse and this one is an immediate classic of
a Virginia liquor store had an unusual guest over the weekend.
A drunk raccoon was found passed out in the bathroom.
(22:31):
Oh beautiful. According to the Hanover County Animal Protection and
Shelter authorities, found the masked bandit collapsed face down in
the bathroom of the Ashland ABC store on Saturday morning,
where the furry burglar had apparently gotten so White Girl
wasted it, ransacked the bottom shelves, and drank multiple types
of alcohol. In a social media post, officials said they
(22:56):
took the very intoxicated raccoon back to the shelter to
sober up before releasing him back into the wild. I
think that maybe what they should have done was to
turn the raccoon over to tray to immediately take to
an AA meeting. According to the authorities, after a few
(23:17):
hours of sleep and zero signs of injury other than
maybe a hangover in poor life choices, the raccoon was
safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that
breaking and entering is not the answer. Usually, the Hanover
County Animal Production and Shelter helps rescued animals if they're
found in the wild. This case was a little different,
(23:37):
but the mission remained the same.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And have a hell of a story for his buddies.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yes, that's right, I found the magical land of liquor boys.
Let me tell you all about it. And now let
me ask you guys this. Let's say you work at
this liquor store. You walk into the bathroom on Saturday
morning to give it a clean before opening up the
door to the public and you come across a face
down raccoon next to the toilet. What do you do?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Miserate a little bit. I've been there, buddy, Just shut
the door, given out a murder sign.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, I just turn off a light and leave then,
because an't they don't they carry brabies, is right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I don't think they carry it innately, but they you know,
it is sometimes possible for them to get rabies and
go a little crazy. In this case, I don't think
this one was foaming at the mouth. I think it
was just you know, frothing.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah, he drink, he'd drink the rabies away.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Maybe that's what it was. He had rabies and he
got into the bottom shelf liquor and just whiskeyed it away.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yeah, that's that's how you beat uh rabies in the
animal world. You just get hammered. Yeah, and hope it
goes away.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Right, Like that's in the pamphlet they hand out rabies
in you an unexpected journey that ends at the liquor store,
face down in the bathroom. It's good and convenience.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
He didn't have to wait for the per simons to
fall off the tree and start you know, fermenting.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, this this that actually reminds me of I can
never remember the island, but it's an island somewhere that's
full of monkeys and they drink, they steal alcohol, and
they eat fermented fruits like crazy. They're just crazy, crazy
drunk monkeys. And I think they smell.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, that's gonna be somewhere like Southeast Asia. That's what
that sounds like.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Yeah, that's that's not rock Wall. I mean no, no,
you mean what maybe not every night?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It just depends on what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, I
guess the real question there would be if you work
at that liquor store where you open the door and
see the raccoon face down, you know, next to the toilet,
is does he have a friend that's human next to him,
also face down holding his fur back?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Saint Kitts.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
That's where it is, really it is in the Caribbean.
You just gave me a whole new island to go explore.
That's not that far away from where I live.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Yeah, but that they can also rip your face off,
So now alcohol.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I think they don't give him fireball and don't give
him Jaeger. I feel mostly safe about it. If you
just give him like like beechy cocktails, give him a
nice rum punch. I don't think they'll have the fighting
gena turned on.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yeah, rum punch.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You These are the small ones that, uh, I think
the vervet monkeys something like that.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Okay, so the non face rippers, yeah, they're just they're
just here for the party. How the Saint Kit's not
made that part of their tourism campaign, right, Just drunk
monkeys screaming I'm here for the party, me too, Just
a four page pamphlet. Drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys.
(27:32):
I mean, is it. I think it's the Bahamas that
have the the feral pigs on the island and they're
actually kind of crazy, like they'll eat some stuff. But
you know, drunk monkeys on Saint Kits, I mean, that's
that'll that'll bring in tourists. Yeah, I mean just imagine, yeah,
imagine being at a swim at bar and that the
dude next to you, it's just a full on monkey.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Saint Kits. Come for the weather, stay for the drunk monkeys.
See it sells itself, it does. I'm never going, but
you guys have fun.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, I just have a monkey with a Pina colada
and a cigarette. Hey yeah, here for a good time,
not a long time.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
We're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online a Treehouse
on Air dot com. Do you feel restless and anxious?
Feel like something's missing in your life? Maybe you just
need a little more Treehouse in it. Go to patreon
dot com slash Treehouse on Air and check out all
the bonus features of subscription offers, including bonus shows, behind
the scenes content, special subscriber only live shows, and so
(28:50):
much more. That's Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air.
That's p A t r e o in dot com
slash Treehouse on Air.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
You're in the Treehouse. Visit us online at Treehouse OnAir
dot com.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
You know the saying too close for comfort? That's how
I felt there near the end. Thank you, Jerry, appreciate that.
If it is Thursday, Happy Thursday to you. If it
is your Friday that you're listening to the show, Happy
Ford Day Inside the Treehouse. Two massive stories that we
need to touch on before we close up the Treehouse
for this week. The first of which is this a
(29:40):
sport Bank influencer is dead at the age of twenty five,
killed after running into a truck. You know the saying
at least they died doing what they love. I feel
like the reason why you do the thing saying that
you love is because it doesn't kill you, and the
(30:03):
moment that it does kill you, I feel like the
love affairs should be over. That's just what I think
it is. It is, yeah, but I mean as I mean,
as the truck is going through your body and eventually
gets to the heart, I imagine you're not going to
have the love for the sport biking that you once did. Again.
(30:27):
That's just me, though. Karen Sophia Kiros Ramirez, a popular
influencer known for posting motorcycle related content, has died. The star,
also known as bike Girl Online, lost control of her
motorcycle and ran into a truck in Columbia on Wednesday.
After colliding with the trunk, she was then run over
(30:48):
by another truck. This is sorry, come on the most like.
According to a transportation official, the most likely hypothesis for
the accident is that the motorcyclist was traveling between two
vehicles and act more commonly referred to as lane splitting.
(31:10):
The official also told an investigation into her death is underway,
although I imagine it won't take very long. So just
keep that in mind with whatever hobby you have is
just you know, if it has a deadly element to it,
(31:30):
maybe don't do it. Be careful, or don't do the
stupid side of it. Because the lane splitting thing, I've
seen a lot. I've seen a lot of that, and
I see that a lot of where I live, and
I wonder, I don't know how you guys don't eat
more trucks, but and when and when someone does, By
the way, like we've seen this in the like the
(31:51):
DFW motorcycle community where they do the stunting and they'll
shut down the freeways and inevitably one of them gets
hurt and or dies. They all have a big motorcycle
uh you know, rally on the middle of a freeway
where they stop trafficking stunt in memory of the person
that died doing that exact thing. I'm not saying you're
(32:12):
asking for it. I'm just saying, maybe find a different
way to you know, celebrate your sport or to live
life on the edge.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, like a stupid In California, lane splitting is legal,
Like you can like they encourage it because of how
conjust to traffic is.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah, that's right. I remember going to California before, and
that was a legal thing where they're allowed to do it,
and in Texas it's not right, right, Yeah, in Texas
you might catch a door, and and in Texas, if
you catch a door, it's your fault. In California, if
you catch a door, then it's probably the other driver's fault.
(32:51):
But Texas lives by a different code than California. Yeah,
and then finally, go ahead, rush.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I was just say because if you didn't let them
split lanes and they just had to follow normal traffic
law mid the the backup would be insane, would it?
Mm hmm? There's so many motorcycles, I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I guess I guess there aren't is I guess there
aren't as many traffic or motorcycle related deaths on the
freeways in California. So they they guess it's okay, or
it's at least worth it from a statistical standpoint. It
just doesn't seem worth it to me from a safety
standpoint versus a traffic standpoint, to have lanes splitting be legal.
(33:34):
I mean, the cars aren't really moving in California, right,
I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I mean during I mean like during your rush hour,
like the morning rush hour, afternoon rush hour, but like
during the day, it's pretty pretty decent, but not.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
When traffic is stopped. If I'm a motorcyclist going between lanes,
That's when I'd be most worried, because what if someone's
been sitting in that car for forty five minutes, an hour,
two hours, three hours, and right as I'm going by
is when they decide to get out of the car
and go take a leak on the side of the road.
And that's when I eat their door. It's fair and
(34:13):
then and then finally tray. This one's for you if
you have a complicated relationship with your mother. Here is
a new idea. A man donated his mom's body to science,
but the military used it for an explosion test. Trey
(34:38):
is now thinking about and fantasizing about all the possibilities
of what to do with his mom when she passes.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Oh oh, she has to pass first.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
That changes things a bit. Yeah, for it to be legal. Yes,
for all things Treehouse. Go to Treehouse on air dot com.
You can also find and follow us on social media
and by the way from your listening platform right now,
get that share button, Share the Treehouse Show with a
(35:13):
friend and let's grow at Treehouse on air, on social.
For me, it's at the Danielmalley. For Trey, it's at
Tree Trenholme One. For Raj at comedian Raj. And for Jerry,
it's at that Jerry guy. We we'll see you next time,
right here inside the Treehouse
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