Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So summer can bring on so many different things. For
the most part, it's fun. It's fun in the sun,
kids are out of school and it's just summer. You know,
it's a great time of the year.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Mikayla, It really is.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
But the kids are all out of school and you
want to make sure, you know, their noses are clean,
and sometimes that can be hard with the heat, the
humidity and the boredom.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I think is important absolutely, so they don't get bored. Unfortunately,
across the state of Ohio, there have been significant news
reports out in Columbus and Cleveland and Cincinnati that violence
in those teenage years and even younger like nine ten
twelve year olds are becoming more and more violent on
(00:43):
the streets this summer than ever.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Before, nine ten and twelve year olds.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Even beginning at that young We're talking about gun violence, fights,
gang related activity, all kinds of different things that police
departments in all of these major cities across our state
are noticing such an incre and these young kids getting
into crime. So what's happening at home? Why is it
something that's going on mentally physically?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So we thought we would bring anne Hurst with open
arms counseling in on this conversation because and you deal
with people of all ages, you deal with what's happening
at home and across cities abroad.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
What have you been noticing?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And it sounds like someone's doing something in the background.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
We can hear the siren.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I think they knew that I was doing this particular
radio program because it started just when you were, just
when you came.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Over to me, right, So what are you noticing out there?
Why are kids? Is it boredom? Like michaelab pointed to, well.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
It can be boredom, but I mean in a lot
of ways, boredom used to be one of the most
one of the greatest mothers of invention. Bored kids would
create things to do other than things that were violent.
I think that a lot of it is desensitization to violence.
And I'm not trying to blame video games on kids
(02:01):
being violent, but I do think that a lot of
the types of video games kids are allowed being allowed
to play, or scenes of violence that they're being able
to see on TV kind of creates a desensitization towards
that type of violence. And you should be careful about
what age range that you're doing that your kids are
(02:24):
when you're allowing them to play those games. And I
do think that a lot of it is not having
social skills. When you see somebody face to face rather
than on the TV or on the computer or texting,
you see the damage you're doing to the person, and
you tend to stop sooner rather than later. And I
(02:47):
think that that has a lot to do with it too.
Social skills.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Gosh, with those two things, there is a lot to
unpack there. So let me go back to your first
point about exposure to violence.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Through things like call of.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Duty or grand theft auto. Those are some of the
top ones I'm thinking about. And I know them because
you know, I have one boy who's in high school
who is interested in those games. So you can be
exposed to them. It doesn't mean you're going to do it,
but you're exposed to them. What becomes the spark do
you think for actually acting out? Like, do you think
(03:25):
there's beyond those two things that we are talking about?
Is there something that when do you make the step
to do the thing? You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Like you got to get there somehow, right.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I think that a lot of that is when you
their brains they are not thinking in you know, the
the prefunctional cortex has not come become developed yet, so
there is no real sense of consequence. So a lot
of times when the kid has not taught you know,
(04:01):
if you do this as far as moral goes, morality goes,
it's a developmental stage too. And one of those developmental
stages is I won't do it because I will get
in trouble for it. Yes, not until much, much much later.
I will not do it because it's the wrong thing
to do.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Interesting, So, and what can parents do? I mean? And
what are some signs? Maybe because you know those parents
out there who are very naive, Oh, my kid would
never do something like that, when really their kid is
doing exactly that. So what can parents do at home
to raise better kids? And what about some morning signs
to look out for that maybe your kid isn't all that.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
I would say the best thing to do at home
is to talk to your kids. I know, I say
that all the time. Sit down, talk to your kids,
Let your kids, you know, plan family time together, Bring
your kids out and show them what your values are
so that they can learn through you, not just what
you tell them, but what you show them. Take kids
(05:05):
different places where they can have meaning in their life,
like have them go with you to a homeless shelter,
to a food pantry to hand out food, or any
kind of thing where you're doing something for the community.
Dog walking dogs, Yeah, dog shelter. That was the next thing.
We thought, the same thing, dog shelter, walking dogs, anything
(05:28):
that you can do to show kids, you know, this
is where our moral fiber lies and this is some
of the things that you can do. The second thing, oh,
also send them to camp, get them away from the
phones for a while and let them be around their
own peers, talking to them face to face, doing things
(05:49):
without doing it through you know, social media, learning those
social skills. The second thing is warning signs. Warning signs
would be some of the basic kids who dissociate themselves
or isolate themselves, or kids who look at their friends.
(06:09):
Who are your children hanging out with? Whoever they're hanging
out with, that is who they are as well. Also
on top of that, how are they treating your pets
at home?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I've always heard that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah, how are they treating the pets at home? How
are they treating everything around them? Teach them to you know,
respect everything everyone life. I know life matters, and you know,
all lives matter. I know that was not popular to
say for a while, but I do believe that all
(06:46):
life matters, and you treat each life as a gift.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I think, you know, the isolation thing is really interesting,
and how you act with people once you get in
front of them, I think you had hit on that.
Some is it is there a mixture of anxiety and
what they think is the right way to act in
those situations because they're not in them very often.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I feel like anxiety might have something to do with
it too, just from some things that I've seen, you know,
at times in my own kids.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
It is possible that anxiety can be a part of that.
There's so many different things that could contribute. It could
be anxiety, it could be just the id personality where
or the ego, you know, just this is what I want.
And you know, if you've never been told no and
somebody tells you no, you get angry. You see that
(07:39):
with a kid who you know, I want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
No?
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Or recently I hear from teachers that they're seeing that
in the classrooms. For instance, one story I heard most
recently is a little one came into the classroom in
kindergarten and started screaming and said, I know, scream if
you give me phone, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Wow, you know what go to And I think so
much of it goes back to respect. It seems like
there is such a lack of respect for adults or
people in that type of authoritative position, and that has
to start at home. You've got to teach your kids
to respect others.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
You do.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
But what I think, and this is only from the
complaints my kids here because you know I'm too strict,
is that I think, Anne, are our parents exhausted and
just not teaching and throwing the I'm not saying it's right.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I'm just saying what excuse may be an excuse.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
But Anne summons up because when tough love, it's called
tough love. When my kid says, I can't believe you
my phone's only set to be on for three hours
a day, my fifteen year old, when these other kids
have it on for eleven hours.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Oh and one of her sons called through forgot that
we were on the air. He was asking mom, which
was Kayla, to give him a little more time.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
More time like our kids are our parents really exhausted
and or lazy? This is what I'm going to say,
And that is not helping the matter of respect or
kids isolating themselves because I have to fight my own
kids and they only get that much time every day.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And she only has two. Imagine families with like four
or five or six kids, right.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I completely agree. I think that the electronics are being
used more and more to babysit rather than parents actually
interacting with their children. Energy easy thing to do. It's
it's super easy. I'm not going to condemn anybody because
I get it. It's the easy way. However, a lot
of the good things in life come from doing the
(09:37):
hard thing.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yep, yep. And you can't just let your kids free
reign for eleven hours a day.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Back to where we used to not have technology growing up?
What did our parents do? And we turned out pretty
darn good.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
We were bored, we were kicked out of the house,
you know.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh, we ran around and played games, you know if
it was Monkey Move Up or Red Light Green Light
or Ghost in the Graveyard, always outside playing.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
So things to do, crass and stuff. I made like
little yarn dolls for all the cheerleaders and then start
they start buying them the.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Bond they make mud pie. We would literally make mud
pie with sticks and stuff. You would just do stuff
like that, and we were better because of it. Yes, absolutely,
so great conversation about that. Hopefully some parents are listening
and thinking, you know what, I got to change things up.
The other question we had because our next segment we
are going to deal with another kids and parents' topic,
(10:28):
and it's the little older kids who have graduated from
college and are now moving back home and they're becoming
those boomerang kids, which more than half college grads now
are doing this. And is it harder on the parent
or is it harder on the kid to move back home?
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Oh, I don't know who it's harder on.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I'm I'm We're about to find out find out.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I think it might be harder for the parents than
the kids, because the parents at this point, they've had
the taste of having, you know, freedom, nothing against children.
They adore their children. I'm not saying they don't, but
when parents get freedom for the first time, I mean
they have not been able to go anywhere without the
thought of my children for eighteen years or more, and
(11:14):
then they have four years of freedom where it's like
I can do things now, and then the child moves
back home. Now the parent is always worried about that child.
Having a child is like having your heart exist outside
of you. It's you always worried about anything that could
happen to that child. So suddenly the worry comes back
(11:37):
full fourth. Well, you know you weren't worried before.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
And I almost disagree with you on that, because I
worry all the time. I'm gonna worry less. Camie's getting
ready to move back on Thursday, and I'm going to
not worry as much because I know she's going to
be home each night when she comes back.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
I'm thinking, it's my question, are you going to worry about?
How is she going to get a job? Where is
she going to job? It's just going to big No, I.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Have to worry about that. Yeah, she's got a job
working in the Ohio States Athletic Department.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
She's got a job.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But I worry. That's why I like life three sixty.
I worry every Friday and Saturday night when I see
she's out and about with her friends, and I don't
get sleep till I see she's back at her apartment.
So I don't know. But then you look at them.
They've had total freedom to come and go and stay
out whenever they want, go wherever, see wherever because they
didn't have to answer to anybody. But now they've got
to go back under mom and dad's roof.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
It could be diffinful for them.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah, I think it could be difficult for them. It
depends on the parents and it depends on the kids.
I think that there are some families where the parent
is like, I'm free, and then suddenly the kid comes
back and they're not going to like check in or anything.
They're just going to live and not work for her
a very long year of time.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That would suck.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So we are looking actually for folks to call in
about their boomerang experiences when their kids have moved back
home Wednesday and then yeah, and you're going to win
some stuff if we have tickets to the state Fair.
So for everyone out there for the next moment, please
start to call in six one four eight two one
nine eight eight six six one four eight two one WTV.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
In and best way to get a hold of you.
If people are listening and they're like, oh my gosh,
I want to reach out to Open Arms because I
think I need some help of my own.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Give us a call for sixty one four six two
five seven one eighty three, or go to our website,
openarmscunseling dot com.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
All right, good to talk to you, and have a
great rest of your Sunday.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Thanks bye.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
This is what matters, and we're taking your calls when
we come back. Win some state Fair tickets, folks, This
is what matters.