August 17, 2025 • 12 mins
Mindy and Mikaela speak with Open Arms Counseling about Back-To-School stress for kids and parents!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If I had to guess, I would say, if you
look at the year a calendar and you say, what's
the most stressful part of that year, I would probably
say around Christmas time the holidays, because people are hustling
and bustling. They're out there shopping, they're getting their house ready,
they're meeting family. It's a very stressful part of your year.
But I also think for some families, back to school
(00:22):
is right up there.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
It has to be, especially if you have multiple kids right.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And starting new schools. Like doctor Cohen's kids have always
gone to school with uniforms. They're going to a public
school now, all new groups of friends, all new buildings,
no more uniform totally different.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We have a new building guy in with us today
and we have one of our favorite partners, and heirst
with open arms counseling. So and I brought my new
building thirteen year old seventh grade son in in case
we need to ask him any questions.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
And hers with open arms counseling. Are you on with us?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We see her?
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Hi there, Hi, and hi for everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We're good and Hi Christian, how you doing good?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, we're doing okay.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I mean, I think this is a really stressful time
man for a lot of families. I don't know what
you're seeing, but let's talk a little bit about that first.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Oh, definitely, I definitely see that it is a stressful
time for everybody in the family. You know, the kids
are going back to school, the parents are figuring out
all the scheduling again, and depending on where somebody is
in school, if it's their first time at a new
school building, or possibly it's their senior year and their
last year in that school, it can be all sorts
(01:40):
of different kinds of stress.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So you bring up such a good point. I literally
remember being a senior in high school and walking into
the Westerville North building and thinking to myself, Oh, this
is my last first day of school, and it was
hard because I loved school so much. But not everybody
loves school, and that can be stressed in itself too,
because they got to go right back into an environment
(02:03):
that maybe they don't love as much as others.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Absolutely, and you know what comes next, you know, college
or no college, a trade school, whatever, whatever comes next,
it's something different that you've never experienced before.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Christian, you are transitioning to a new building, are you stressed?
Or are your friends stressed? Anybody feeling that right now?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
I wouldn't say so. I think all the friends that
I know are excited. I mean, maybe some might be
a bit stressed, but that's just because we're moving into
a new new building and we have eighth graders as well,
so like they're the big ones.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
And you don't feel intimidated at all though, right, No,
I'm really excited for this new building, new school year,
and maybe I'll have and another opportunity to make new friends.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
But and not everybody's that way, right And also, and
it's stressful for parents when because you worry, you worry
about your kids. Are they going to make friends? Are
they going to accept this new environment? So maybe Christian's
not so worried, but parents might be.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Well I agree there. I do think that Christian is
coming at it from one of the healthiest attitudes out there.
It's a new experience, it's going to be fun, and
I have a chance to make more friends. That is
the best outlook and one way to look at that.
I'm so excited for Christian, but not everybody. You're right,
not everybody sees it that way.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And how do you parent through that?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Like as the parent, what are the things you need
to say to students who aren't feeling that way, who
are really hesitant, who are really nervous.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Let them know and see if you can go to
the building before it opens up and wander the hallway,
make it a little more comfortable, take a tour, talk
about what are your expectations or what is making you
worried about it, and see what you can do to
dispel that. Is it that it's a new building. Is
it they're concerned about making friends, and go over how
(04:01):
to make friends.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So you have this whole other issue when it comes
to school violence, because we've heard time and time again
in the news bad things, shootings, things happening, kids bringing
guns to school, and that is an increased sense of insecurity.
And you do worry as parents because when you send
your child to school, you want them to know that
(04:23):
they're safe.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Absolutely agreed. And again that's conversations that I wish people
didn't have to have with their kids, but conversations that
need to happen. What to do if something were to happen,
and how to meet back up again.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I hear a lot.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
You know, we're incredibly fortunate and I think we do
hear a lot about gun violence because we're just exposed
to the news, but I think I hear more about
fists and hitting and those kinds of things inside schools.
What should we advise our kids if someone tries to
provoke them or something starts to happen. I mean, our
kids could be the one provoked it, but if it's
someone who's provoking them, right, or if hits them or
(05:04):
is after them, what do we tell them in those
situations to do? Because that's really hard. I think instinctually
you would want to defend yourself, but that might not
be the best thing to do.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Absolutely, honestly, the best thing to do is to try
to walk away if you can get away and not
you know, get pulled in. Other kids are trying to
get you pulled in because they want to get to you.
They want to make you angry, they want to have
somebody to fight with. And if you just blow them
(05:35):
off and like, well, not blow them off actively, but
just it doesn't bother you and let them know if
it's not bothering me and just walk away, it's they're
less likely to go after you and pick another target.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
What about when it comes to teachers, because in schools
all across the country now some more than others, obviously,
but they have become a violent workplace because of kids
acting up and acting out, a lack of discipline and
lack of authority, authority, And so you're a teacher and
hear you your heart's in the right place because you
(06:11):
really want to make a difference in these kids' lives.
But then another part of you is like, it's just
not worth it anymore to have to deal with these
fights and these violent situations. So they have to be
a little bit stressed out too.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
They will, yeah, absolutely, especially in schools that are known for,
you know, violence. I would say that in this situation,
the best thing to do would be to go to
the school board meetings, talk to them about what are
the ramifications for kids who do incite violence in school,
and work on having an actual consequence for that, the
(06:49):
one that makes a difference, one that says, you know,
you are not allowed in school, and let if you
are going to act in this way, Christ, others can
start learning again.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I'm sorry you were done. Christ, So let me ask you,
what is there anything that worries you about school? Homework? Friends,
getting in fights like anything, your teacher having a mean one.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
I'm like really good friends with everyone. I'm kind of
I wouldn't say I'm so worried. I'm like a little
worried about ending up with the wrong teacher, like the
just strict, even even to kids that are doing good
as well.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Well, I don't want to give Christian any worries. He's
doing so great. It sounds to me like Christian gets
along with everybody. And that's the kind of attitude that
I would encourage parents to work with their kids to
get that that happy, go lucky. I'm friends to all,
and I'm excited and curious to learn.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I love that he does say hi to everybody.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I mean, we went to open house and the other
night and it was hi.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
So and so, Hi so and so.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And I think so many kids maybe or don't come
out of their shell anymore to say phones.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
They all have her looking down at their phones. They're
not making eye contact, they're not looking at their friends anymore.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
As much he doesn't have one that see.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Do you see how he is and why he is
that way? Christian, you don't have a phone yet?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Nope, not yet.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I love even Kayla for that I mean, I saw
what happened with Logan and look at his personality, right,
but An, I will say, he's dealt with some bullies, Christian,
do you want to share that?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And then maybe Anne can talk about dealing with bullies.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Can I talk to her about the fourth grade one?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You can talk to her about that one.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, And he's also been approached by a little girl
who wants to date him.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
It's not a little girl, it's a girl my age.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
That's a little girl to me. Remember I have twenty
three and twenty two year olds my age.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
You're a little boy to me when you were like
four or something. So tell about this bully and let's
see what Anne has to say about bullying.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Okay, So basically, there was this guy in my fourth
grade class. His name is Isaac Rhymer and.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Let's help.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Sorry, I'm sorry, my bad. So Isaac was how do
I say this?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was just not.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Very nice to other classmates. And he was not he
was not He was really not nice with girls and
like he would, he wouldn't make them feel ashamed of themselves.
And I kind of got targeted on it. And one
time I was playing with their girls at recess. We
(09:52):
were it was like some sort of like night of
the Museum thingy. He walked over to me and like,
I don't know how how he says this, Like he
made me like do the splits or something and it
really hurt or something like that. And something just came
to me because I remember like how he had treated
me and other people bad, and I threw a punch
(10:13):
at him right here in the cheek. He had a
red mark on his face when I went down to
the office. I wasn't in trouble, just like this was
used for self defense.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And really, Christian is not the kind of kid who
would throw a punch, so we were really surprised to
hear that.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But if someone's forcing you to do something.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
What needs to happen, Well, I think, okay, I know
I'm going to hear the ann's and encouraging punching people.
I do agree with what Christian did. If you are
being forced and you're in pain and you need to
get somebody off of you, I think there's absolutely okay
to throw that punch and help yourself. And you're right,
I do believe it's self defense. I know my dad,
(10:57):
and my dad is ninety two. When he was in
he had a bully that would come up and, you know,
take his lunch money from him every day. And one
day he heard him coming up from behind him and
something clicked and he got up, turned and gave him
a punch in the face. And my dad never punches
anybody and knocked him back. He never sotle his lunch
money again. My dad felt bad about it and then
(11:19):
started befriending him. They ended up being best friends.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So you got to defend yourself.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You've got to such such good advice, Anne, And I'm
sure you have plenty of families asking the question.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I know we're up against a break if.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
If people need to reach out, if the school year
is tough to start, or after it starts they have issues.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I know you have a great team. How can folks
get a hold of you and your team?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Just give us a call six one four six two
five seven one eighty three or go to our website
openarms dot com. We'll look forward to meeting.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You, you know what, And happy new school year to
everybody listening, and hopefully they get off to a great
start and then they won't look forward to summer as much.
At the end of the year they'll be like asolutely.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I hope they all have a fantastic year.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
We deserve it.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
That is so you Christian. Thanks everybody. Thanks An, have
a great rest of your Sunday.
If I had to guess, I would say, if you
look at the year a calendar and you say, what's
the most stressful part of that year, I would probably
say around Christmas time the holidays, because people are hustling
and bustling. They're out there shopping, they're getting their house ready,
they're meeting family. It's a very stressful part of your year.
But I also think for some families, back to school
(00:22):
is right up there.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
It has to be, especially if you have multiple kids right.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And starting new schools. Like doctor Cohen's kids have always
gone to school with uniforms. They're going to a public
school now, all new groups of friends, all new buildings,
no more uniform totally different.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We have a new building guy in with us today
and we have one of our favorite partners, and heirst
with open arms counseling. So and I brought my new
building thirteen year old seventh grade son in in case
we need to ask him any questions.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
And hers with open arms counseling. Are you on with us?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We see her?
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Hi there, Hi, and hi for everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We're good and Hi Christian, how you doing good?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, we're doing okay.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I mean, I think this is a really stressful time
man for a lot of families. I don't know what
you're seeing, but let's talk a little bit about that first.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Oh, definitely, I definitely see that it is a stressful
time for everybody in the family. You know, the kids
are going back to school, the parents are figuring out
all the scheduling again, and depending on where somebody is
in school, if it's their first time at a new
school building, or possibly it's their senior year and their
last year in that school, it can be all sorts
(01:40):
of different kinds of stress.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So you bring up such a good point. I literally
remember being a senior in high school and walking into
the Westerville North building and thinking to myself, Oh, this
is my last first day of school, and it was
hard because I loved school so much. But not everybody
loves school, and that can be stressed in itself too,
because they got to go right back into an environment
(02:03):
that maybe they don't love as much as others.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Absolutely, and you know what comes next, you know, college
or no college, a trade school, whatever, whatever comes next,
it's something different that you've never experienced before.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Christian, you are transitioning to a new building, are you stressed?
Or are your friends stressed? Anybody feeling that right now?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
I wouldn't say so. I think all the friends that
I know are excited. I mean, maybe some might be
a bit stressed, but that's just because we're moving into
a new new building and we have eighth graders as well,
so like they're the big ones.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
And you don't feel intimidated at all though, right, No,
I'm really excited for this new building, new school year,
and maybe I'll have and another opportunity to make new friends.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
But and not everybody's that way, right And also, and
it's stressful for parents when because you worry, you worry
about your kids. Are they going to make friends? Are
they going to accept this new environment? So maybe Christian's
not so worried, but parents might be.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Well I agree there. I do think that Christian is
coming at it from one of the healthiest attitudes out there.
It's a new experience, it's going to be fun, and
I have a chance to make more friends. That is
the best outlook and one way to look at that.
I'm so excited for Christian, but not everybody. You're right,
not everybody sees it that way.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And how do you parent through that?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Like as the parent, what are the things you need
to say to students who aren't feeling that way, who
are really hesitant, who are really nervous.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Let them know and see if you can go to
the building before it opens up and wander the hallway,
make it a little more comfortable, take a tour, talk
about what are your expectations or what is making you
worried about it, and see what you can do to
dispel that. Is it that it's a new building. Is
it they're concerned about making friends, and go over how
(04:01):
to make friends.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So you have this whole other issue when it comes
to school violence, because we've heard time and time again
in the news bad things, shootings, things happening, kids bringing
guns to school, and that is an increased sense of insecurity.
And you do worry as parents because when you send
your child to school, you want them to know that
(04:23):
they're safe.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Absolutely agreed. And again that's conversations that I wish people
didn't have to have with their kids, but conversations that
need to happen. What to do if something were to happen,
and how to meet back up again.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I hear a lot.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
You know, we're incredibly fortunate and I think we do
hear a lot about gun violence because we're just exposed
to the news, but I think I hear more about
fists and hitting and those kinds of things inside schools.
What should we advise our kids if someone tries to
provoke them or something starts to happen. I mean, our
kids could be the one provoked it, but if it's
someone who's provoking them, right, or if hits them or
(05:04):
is after them, what do we tell them in those
situations to do? Because that's really hard. I think instinctually
you would want to defend yourself, but that might not
be the best thing to do.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Absolutely, honestly, the best thing to do is to try
to walk away if you can get away and not
you know, get pulled in. Other kids are trying to
get you pulled in because they want to get to you.
They want to make you angry, they want to have
somebody to fight with. And if you just blow them
(05:35):
off and like, well, not blow them off actively, but
just it doesn't bother you and let them know if
it's not bothering me and just walk away, it's they're
less likely to go after you and pick another target.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
What about when it comes to teachers, because in schools
all across the country now some more than others, obviously,
but they have become a violent workplace because of kids
acting up and acting out, a lack of discipline and
lack of authority, authority, And so you're a teacher and
hear you your heart's in the right place because you
(06:11):
really want to make a difference in these kids' lives.
But then another part of you is like, it's just
not worth it anymore to have to deal with these
fights and these violent situations. So they have to be
a little bit stressed out too.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
They will, yeah, absolutely, especially in schools that are known for,
you know, violence. I would say that in this situation,
the best thing to do would be to go to
the school board meetings, talk to them about what are
the ramifications for kids who do incite violence in school,
and work on having an actual consequence for that, the
(06:49):
one that makes a difference, one that says, you know,
you are not allowed in school, and let if you
are going to act in this way, Christ, others can
start learning again.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I'm sorry you were done. Christ, So let me ask you,
what is there anything that worries you about school? Homework? Friends,
getting in fights like anything, your teacher having a mean one.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
I'm like really good friends with everyone. I'm kind of
I wouldn't say I'm so worried. I'm like a little
worried about ending up with the wrong teacher, like the
just strict, even even to kids that are doing good
as well.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Well, I don't want to give Christian any worries. He's
doing so great. It sounds to me like Christian gets
along with everybody. And that's the kind of attitude that
I would encourage parents to work with their kids to
get that that happy, go lucky. I'm friends to all,
and I'm excited and curious to learn.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I love that he does say hi to everybody.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I mean, we went to open house and the other
night and it was hi.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
So and so, Hi so and so.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And I think so many kids maybe or don't come
out of their shell anymore to say phones.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
They all have her looking down at their phones. They're
not making eye contact, they're not looking at their friends anymore.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
As much he doesn't have one that see.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Do you see how he is and why he is
that way? Christian, you don't have a phone yet?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Nope, not yet.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I love even Kayla for that I mean, I saw
what happened with Logan and look at his personality, right,
but An, I will say, he's dealt with some bullies, Christian,
do you want to share that?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And then maybe Anne can talk about dealing with bullies.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
Can I talk to her about the fourth grade one?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You can talk to her about that one.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, And he's also been approached by a little girl
who wants to date him.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
It's not a little girl, it's a girl my age.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
That's a little girl to me. Remember I have twenty
three and twenty two year olds my age.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
You're a little boy to me when you were like
four or something. So tell about this bully and let's
see what Anne has to say about bullying.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Okay, So basically, there was this guy in my fourth
grade class. His name is Isaac Rhymer and.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Let's help.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Sorry, I'm sorry, my bad. So Isaac was how do
I say this?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was just not.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Very nice to other classmates. And he was not he
was not He was really not nice with girls and
like he would, he wouldn't make them feel ashamed of themselves.
And I kind of got targeted on it. And one
time I was playing with their girls at recess. We
(09:52):
were it was like some sort of like night of
the Museum thingy. He walked over to me and like,
I don't know how how he says this, Like he
made me like do the splits or something and it
really hurt or something like that. And something just came
to me because I remember like how he had treated
me and other people bad, and I threw a punch
(10:13):
at him right here in the cheek. He had a
red mark on his face when I went down to
the office. I wasn't in trouble, just like this was
used for self defense.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And really, Christian is not the kind of kid who
would throw a punch, so we were really surprised to
hear that.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But if someone's forcing you to do something.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
What needs to happen, Well, I think, okay, I know
I'm going to hear the ann's and encouraging punching people.
I do agree with what Christian did. If you are
being forced and you're in pain and you need to
get somebody off of you, I think there's absolutely okay
to throw that punch and help yourself. And you're right,
I do believe it's self defense. I know my dad,
(10:57):
and my dad is ninety two. When he was in
he had a bully that would come up and, you know,
take his lunch money from him every day. And one
day he heard him coming up from behind him and
something clicked and he got up, turned and gave him
a punch in the face. And my dad never punches
anybody and knocked him back. He never sotle his lunch
money again. My dad felt bad about it and then
(11:19):
started befriending him. They ended up being best friends.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So you got to defend yourself.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You've got to such such good advice, Anne, And I'm
sure you have plenty of families asking the question.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I know we're up against a break if.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
If people need to reach out, if the school year
is tough to start, or after it starts they have issues.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I know you have a great team. How can folks
get a hold of you and your team?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Just give us a call six one four six two
five seven one eighty three or go to our website
openarms dot com. We'll look forward to meeting.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You, you know what, And happy new school year to
everybody listening, and hopefully they get off to a great
start and then they won't look forward to summer as much.
At the end of the year they'll be like asolutely.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I hope they all have a fantastic year.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
We deserve it.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
That is so you Christian. Thanks everybody. Thanks An, have
a great rest of your Sunday.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!