November 16, 2025 • 7 mins
In this jaw-dropping episode of The 7 Minute Leadership Podcast, Paul Falavolito reveals the hidden, unspoken truths about leadership that even top leaders don’t know. From losing relationships to being a constant target, this episode uncovers the side of leadership no one dares to talk about.
Host: Paul Falavolito
Connect with me on your favorite platform: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Substack, BlueSky, Threads, LinkTree
View my website for free leadership resources and exclusive merchandise: www.paulfalavolito.com
Books by Paul Falavolito
Host: Paul Falavolito
Connect with me on your favorite platform: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Substack, BlueSky, Threads, LinkTree
View my website for free leadership resources and exclusive merchandise: www.paulfalavolito.com
Books by Paul Falavolito
- The 7 Minute Leadership Handbook: bit.ly/48J8zFG
- The Leadership Academy: https://bit.ly/4lnT1Pf
- The 7 Minute Leadership Survival Guide: https://bit.ly/4ij0g8y
- The Leader's Book of Secrets: http://bit.ly/4oeGzCI
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of
performance through strong human relations, team building, and golachieving. This
is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul
Fello Aledo.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.
It's episode five twenty five. I just released the Leader's
Book of Secrets a few weeks ago, and for this episode,
I'm going to go even deeper. Today's episode is titled
The Dark Truth about Leadership, and I'm going to warn
(00:43):
you right now what I'm about to share with you
may make you uncomfortable. It may rattle the way you've
been taught to think about leadership. But that's the point.
The real truths about leadership are rarely talked about, and
they're not written in the glossy books on the front
(01:04):
table at the airport bookstore. So let's get right into it.
Truth Number one, Leadership will cost you relationships. Everyone says
leadership is about building teams, creating connection, and inspiring people.
(01:24):
That's only half the story. The darker side is this
leadership will cost you friendships, allies, and sometimes even family.
The higher you go, the fewer people you can truly
confide in. Not because you don't want to, but because
the weight of your responsibility separates you, leaders who try
(01:47):
to keep everyone close usually end up getting betrayed or burned.
It's lonely at the top for a reason. Truth number two.
Your team talks about you behind your back. You can
be the kindest, most generous, most approachable leader, but here's
(02:08):
the truth. Your people talk about you when you leave
the room. They pick apart your decisions, your tone, your expressions,
even your email punctuation. They judge you constantly. Leadership means
being dissected every single day. And here's the kicker, you'll
(02:29):
never really know what they think. At best, you'll only
hear ten percent of it. The other ninety percent floats
and whispers, text threads and side conversations. You'll never be
invited into. Truth number three. People don't want change, even
(02:49):
when they say they do. You'll hear employees say we
want innovation, we want progress, we want a better culture.
But here's the dark reality. Most people want the idea
of change, not the disruption that comes with it. The
second you start shaking up processes, holding people accountable, or
(03:13):
removing toxic employees, the very same people who begged you
for change will resist you. Leadership means being hated for
delivering exactly what people asked for. In truth number four,
success doesn't guarantee loyalty. You can double the company's revenue,
(03:36):
you can win national awards, you can put food on
people's tables. In the minute you make one unpopular decision,
you'll still have people turn on you. Success doesn't buy loyalty,
It buys expectation. In the second you stop delivering, people
forget what you did yesterday. Leadership is a true readmill.
(04:00):
The moment you step off, they forget you are the
one keeping it moving. In truth number five, most leaders
fail quietly. Here's the truth no one tells you. Most
leaders don't fail in a public scandal, a news story,
or even a resignation letter. They fail quietly, one compromise
(04:25):
at a time, one ignored red flag, one avoided tough conversation,
one small lie. They tell themselves that things will fix themselves,
and by the time they realize they've failed, it's too late.
The organization has rotted from the inside out, and the
(04:46):
leader is just the last one to admit it. Truth
number six. The higher you climb, the more you become
a target. At some point, Your job isn't to lead anymore,
it's to survive. Every promotion you take makes you more
of a target. Every title you add puts a bigger
(05:06):
bullseye on your back. People will root for your downfall,
sometimes from inside your own team. Jealousy isn't talked about
in leadership circles, but it's real when you're in the spotlight.
People want to see if you'll crack under the heat.
Truth Number seven. Leaders don't get to have bad days.
(05:30):
And this is the cruelest truth of all. Leaders don't
get the luxury of bad days. You can't come in tired, angry,
or broken without it affecting your entire team. Your people
don't see you as human. They see you as the standard,
and if you show cracks, they assume the foundation is crumbling.
(05:53):
The dark truth. Sometimes leadership means lying with a smile
on your face, even when your own world is on fire. Now,
I know this all sounds harsh, but here's why I'm
telling you this. Because leadership isn't about perks, titles, or power.
Leadership is about sacrifice. It's about standing in the fire,
(06:18):
knowing you will get burned, and still showing up anyway.
So the greatest leaders aren't the ones who avoid these
dark truths. They're the ones who accept them, embrace them,
and still say this is the path I choose. So
the next time you think leadership is glamorous, remember this episode.
(06:43):
The reality is darker, heavier, and lonelier than most people
can handle. And if you're still willing to lead after
hearing this, then you're the kind of leader the world
actually needs. This has been the seven Minute Leadership Podcast,
and I thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
For more Paul Fell of Aledo Podcasts, visit paulfellowalito dot
com
Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of
performance through strong human relations, team building, and golachieving. This
is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul
Fello Aledo.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.
It's episode five twenty five. I just released the Leader's
Book of Secrets a few weeks ago, and for this episode,
I'm going to go even deeper. Today's episode is titled
The Dark Truth about Leadership, and I'm going to warn
(00:43):
you right now what I'm about to share with you
may make you uncomfortable. It may rattle the way you've
been taught to think about leadership. But that's the point.
The real truths about leadership are rarely talked about, and
they're not written in the glossy books on the front
(01:04):
table at the airport bookstore. So let's get right into it.
Truth Number one, Leadership will cost you relationships. Everyone says
leadership is about building teams, creating connection, and inspiring people.
(01:24):
That's only half the story. The darker side is this
leadership will cost you friendships, allies, and sometimes even family.
The higher you go, the fewer people you can truly
confide in. Not because you don't want to, but because
the weight of your responsibility separates you, leaders who try
(01:47):
to keep everyone close usually end up getting betrayed or burned.
It's lonely at the top for a reason. Truth number two.
Your team talks about you behind your back. You can
be the kindest, most generous, most approachable leader, but here's
(02:08):
the truth. Your people talk about you when you leave
the room. They pick apart your decisions, your tone, your expressions,
even your email punctuation. They judge you constantly. Leadership means
being dissected every single day. And here's the kicker, you'll
(02:29):
never really know what they think. At best, you'll only
hear ten percent of it. The other ninety percent floats
and whispers, text threads and side conversations. You'll never be
invited into. Truth number three. People don't want change, even
(02:49):
when they say they do. You'll hear employees say we
want innovation, we want progress, we want a better culture.
But here's the dark reality. Most people want the idea
of change, not the disruption that comes with it. The
second you start shaking up processes, holding people accountable, or
(03:13):
removing toxic employees, the very same people who begged you
for change will resist you. Leadership means being hated for
delivering exactly what people asked for. In truth number four,
success doesn't guarantee loyalty. You can double the company's revenue,
(03:36):
you can win national awards, you can put food on
people's tables. In the minute you make one unpopular decision,
you'll still have people turn on you. Success doesn't buy loyalty,
It buys expectation. In the second you stop delivering, people
forget what you did yesterday. Leadership is a true readmill.
(04:00):
The moment you step off, they forget you are the
one keeping it moving. In truth number five, most leaders
fail quietly. Here's the truth no one tells you. Most
leaders don't fail in a public scandal, a news story,
or even a resignation letter. They fail quietly, one compromise
(04:25):
at a time, one ignored red flag, one avoided tough conversation,
one small lie. They tell themselves that things will fix themselves,
and by the time they realize they've failed, it's too late.
The organization has rotted from the inside out, and the
(04:46):
leader is just the last one to admit it. Truth
number six. The higher you climb, the more you become
a target. At some point, Your job isn't to lead anymore,
it's to survive. Every promotion you take makes you more
of a target. Every title you add puts a bigger
(05:06):
bullseye on your back. People will root for your downfall,
sometimes from inside your own team. Jealousy isn't talked about
in leadership circles, but it's real when you're in the spotlight.
People want to see if you'll crack under the heat.
Truth Number seven. Leaders don't get to have bad days.
(05:30):
And this is the cruelest truth of all. Leaders don't
get the luxury of bad days. You can't come in tired, angry,
or broken without it affecting your entire team. Your people
don't see you as human. They see you as the standard,
and if you show cracks, they assume the foundation is crumbling.
(05:53):
The dark truth. Sometimes leadership means lying with a smile
on your face, even when your own world is on fire. Now,
I know this all sounds harsh, but here's why I'm
telling you this. Because leadership isn't about perks, titles, or power.
Leadership is about sacrifice. It's about standing in the fire,
(06:18):
knowing you will get burned, and still showing up anyway.
So the greatest leaders aren't the ones who avoid these
dark truths. They're the ones who accept them, embrace them,
and still say this is the path I choose. So
the next time you think leadership is glamorous, remember this episode.
(06:43):
The reality is darker, heavier, and lonelier than most people
can handle. And if you're still willing to lead after
hearing this, then you're the kind of leader the world
actually needs. This has been the seven Minute Leadership Podcast,
and I thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
For more Paul Fell of Aledo Podcasts, visit paulfellowalito dot
com
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