November 30, 2025 • 6 mins
This episode breaks down the true meaning of company culture and gives leaders a full step by step blueprint to define and protect the culture they want. It teaches actionable behaviors that turn culture from a poster into a daily lived experience.
Host: Paul Falavolito
Connect with me on your favorite platform: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Substack, BlueSky, Threads, LinkTree, YouTube
View my website for free leadership resources and exclusive merchandise: www.paulfalavolito.com
Books by Paul Falavolito
Host: Paul Falavolito
Connect with me on your favorite platform: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Substack, BlueSky, Threads, LinkTree, YouTube
View my website for free leadership resources and exclusive merchandise: www.paulfalavolito.com
Books by Paul Falavolito
- The 7 Minute Leadership Handbook: bit.ly/48J8zFG
- The Leadership Academy: https://bit.ly/4lnT1Pf
- The 7 Minute Leadership Survival Guide: https://bit.ly/4ij0g8y
- The Leader's Book of Secrets: http://bit.ly/4oeGzCI
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of
performance through strong human relations, team building, and golajiving. This
is the seven minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul Fellavaliedo.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello everyone, and welcome to this seven minute leadership podcast.
It's episode five point thirty nine. Today we're talking about
one sentence that can change the course of your entire
life if you let it, and here it is, improve
and respect your opinion about yourself. It is the only
validation you need to design the life you want. Leaders
(00:45):
love external validations, promotions, compliments, plaques, metrics, applause, views, likes,
and comments. Humans are wired to chase it. But here's
the uncomfortable truth. All of that is unstable. It moves,
it shifts, it disappears when people change jobs, priorities, and moods.
(01:08):
If your confidence hangs on someone else's approval, you're always
going to feel a quiet pull in your chest, like
someone else's holding the steering wheel of your life. So
let me tell you a quick story. A few years back,
I had a stretch where nothing felt right. I was
doing the work, hitting goals, showing up every day, but
(01:31):
something was missing. I realized I had outsourced my own
self worth. I had given everyone else a vote on
my potential. Every comment shaped me, every criticism shook me,
Every praise inflated me for a day, then vanished. I
felt like I was runting space in my own life
(01:54):
instead of owning it. And one morning I sat in
my vehicle before work, staring at the denboard and said
something I had never said out loud. I am done
letting other people decide what I believe about myself. That
simple internal line changed more things than any conference, degree, promotion,
(02:16):
or award ever did. And here's what I learned. When
you upgrade your opinion of yourself, your entire life upgrades
with it. Suddenly you are not waiting for a green light.
You start building your own runway. You start saying yes
with conviction and know without guilt. You stop shrinking around
(02:40):
people who expect you to stay small. So let's talk
about how you can actually do this. Because inspirational talk
is great, but action is better. So grab your notes
because this part is the real work. Step one, identify
(03:01):
the voice you have been listening to. Everyone has a
voice in their head that sounds like a mix of
old bosses, parents, critics, or past failures. Before you can
respect your opinion of yourself, you need to know when
the voice in your head is not even yours. Ask yourself, this,
(03:22):
whose standards am I trying to meet right now? Mine
or someone else's. If the answer is not yours, that
is step one. Step two, write down the version of
yourself you actually respect, not the version the world wants.
The version you can look in the mirror and be
(03:43):
proud of. Write it out in a simple list. I
respect myself when I show up on time. I respect
myself when I keep my promises. I respect myself when
I lead with patience. I respect myself when I work
the plan instead of winging it. That list is your
internal compass. The more you act in alignment with it,
(04:07):
the more your opinion of yourself strengthens. In step three,
stop negotiating with your worth. Most people have a bad
habit of discounting themselves like a clearance rack. They talk
themselves out of opportunities before they even try. Leaders do
the opposite. They state who they are, they state what
(04:31):
they bring, and they refuse to shrink to make others comfortable.
If you would defend a friend you respect, then defend
yourself the same way. In step four, speak to yourself
like someone who is building something important. The language you
use determines the life you create. If your inner dialogue
(04:55):
sounds like I'm not sure I can do this, or
people like me you do not get opportunities like that,
then your life will match that script. Rewrite the script,
make it sound like a leader. Make it sound like
someone who is designing their life on purpose. In step five,
(05:17):
do one small act every day that reinforces the identity
you want. People think confidence comes from motivation, it doesn't.
It comes from evidence. If you want to respect your
own opinion, give yourself proof, send the email, make the call,
clean the desk, fix the mistake, finish the task. Micro
(05:41):
wins build a macro identity. Here's the final truth. Once
you respect your own opinion of yourself, you stop begging
the world for approval, You stop chasing validation, you stop
waiting for permission. Your life stops being reactive and becomes intentional.
(06:02):
You don't just lead your team better, you lead yourself better.
And that is the foundation of everything. So ask yourself
right now, what would change if I only needed my
own validation? What would I start? What would I stop?
(06:22):
Who would I become? That answer is waiting for you
on the other side of a stronger opinion of yourself.
You deserve to build a life that feels like it
was designed, not assigned, and it starts with one decision.
Respect your own voice, trust your own judgment, let your
(06:43):
own approval be enough. This has been the seven minute
Leadership Podcast and I thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
For more Paul fell of Alito podcast, visit paulfellaalito dot com.
Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of
performance through strong human relations, team building, and golajiving. This
is the seven minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul Fellavaliedo.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello everyone, and welcome to this seven minute leadership podcast.
It's episode five point thirty nine. Today we're talking about
one sentence that can change the course of your entire
life if you let it, and here it is, improve
and respect your opinion about yourself. It is the only
validation you need to design the life you want. Leaders
(00:45):
love external validations, promotions, compliments, plaques, metrics, applause, views, likes,
and comments. Humans are wired to chase it. But here's
the uncomfortable truth. All of that is unstable. It moves,
it shifts, it disappears when people change jobs, priorities, and moods.
(01:08):
If your confidence hangs on someone else's approval, you're always
going to feel a quiet pull in your chest, like
someone else's holding the steering wheel of your life. So
let me tell you a quick story. A few years back,
I had a stretch where nothing felt right. I was
doing the work, hitting goals, showing up every day, but
(01:31):
something was missing. I realized I had outsourced my own
self worth. I had given everyone else a vote on
my potential. Every comment shaped me, every criticism shook me,
Every praise inflated me for a day, then vanished. I
felt like I was runting space in my own life
(01:54):
instead of owning it. And one morning I sat in
my vehicle before work, staring at the denboard and said
something I had never said out loud. I am done
letting other people decide what I believe about myself. That
simple internal line changed more things than any conference, degree, promotion,
(02:16):
or award ever did. And here's what I learned. When
you upgrade your opinion of yourself, your entire life upgrades
with it. Suddenly you are not waiting for a green light.
You start building your own runway. You start saying yes
with conviction and know without guilt. You stop shrinking around
(02:40):
people who expect you to stay small. So let's talk
about how you can actually do this. Because inspirational talk
is great, but action is better. So grab your notes
because this part is the real work. Step one, identify
(03:01):
the voice you have been listening to. Everyone has a
voice in their head that sounds like a mix of
old bosses, parents, critics, or past failures. Before you can
respect your opinion of yourself, you need to know when
the voice in your head is not even yours. Ask yourself, this,
(03:22):
whose standards am I trying to meet right now? Mine
or someone else's. If the answer is not yours, that
is step one. Step two, write down the version of
yourself you actually respect, not the version the world wants.
The version you can look in the mirror and be
(03:43):
proud of. Write it out in a simple list. I
respect myself when I show up on time. I respect
myself when I keep my promises. I respect myself when
I lead with patience. I respect myself when I work
the plan instead of winging it. That list is your
internal compass. The more you act in alignment with it,
(04:07):
the more your opinion of yourself strengthens. In step three,
stop negotiating with your worth. Most people have a bad
habit of discounting themselves like a clearance rack. They talk
themselves out of opportunities before they even try. Leaders do
the opposite. They state who they are, they state what
(04:31):
they bring, and they refuse to shrink to make others comfortable.
If you would defend a friend you respect, then defend
yourself the same way. In step four, speak to yourself
like someone who is building something important. The language you
use determines the life you create. If your inner dialogue
(04:55):
sounds like I'm not sure I can do this, or
people like me you do not get opportunities like that,
then your life will match that script. Rewrite the script,
make it sound like a leader. Make it sound like
someone who is designing their life on purpose. In step five,
(05:17):
do one small act every day that reinforces the identity
you want. People think confidence comes from motivation, it doesn't.
It comes from evidence. If you want to respect your
own opinion, give yourself proof, send the email, make the call,
clean the desk, fix the mistake, finish the task. Micro
(05:41):
wins build a macro identity. Here's the final truth. Once
you respect your own opinion of yourself, you stop begging
the world for approval, You stop chasing validation, you stop
waiting for permission. Your life stops being reactive and becomes intentional.
(06:02):
You don't just lead your team better, you lead yourself better.
And that is the foundation of everything. So ask yourself
right now, what would change if I only needed my
own validation? What would I start? What would I stop?
(06:22):
Who would I become? That answer is waiting for you
on the other side of a stronger opinion of yourself.
You deserve to build a life that feels like it
was designed, not assigned, and it starts with one decision.
Respect your own voice, trust your own judgment, let your
(06:43):
own approval be enough. This has been the seven minute
Leadership Podcast and I thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
For more Paul fell of Alito podcast, visit paulfellaalito dot com.
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