Ep. 39 - Jillian Is a Real B - A Very Merry Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:03):
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(00:40):
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Speaker 3 (00:48):
This is the FCB Podcast Network.

Speaker 4 (01:10):
Welcome everybody to another episode of a Very Married Podcast.
I'm your very Merry host Kira Davis, and I am
here with my very Mary co host Amelia Hamilton. Amelia,
happy day. How are you doing? I am doing well.
How are you today? I am so good. I don't
want to delay at all. I want to talk about

(01:31):
this as a lot immediately. This movie, there is so
much going on. Today's movie is Dear Santa, and I'll
let Amelia introduce it. But before we get started, Amelia,
really quick, we need to just do some housekeeping. Number one,
I want you to just tell people where they can

(01:53):
subscribe to and get a hold of us so that they.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Know, yes, all right, so we are obviously a very
Married podcast, So subscribe like us, leave a review, tell
your friends we are wherever you find podcasts. You can
find us, but also follow us on a Very Merry
Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, and a Very Merry Pod on
Twitter and email us at a Very Merry Podcast at Gmail.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
That's great. And then the other thing is is that
the nature of this podcast is lighthearted, poking fun at
cheesy Christmas movies. But we recognize that a lot of
work goes into making these movies. So we want to
congratulate everyone who completed this film and did all the
work to make this film. And we are very appreciative
of all of the efforts that go into Christmas Land,
and everything we do here is done with love. We

(02:41):
wouldn't want it any other way. Okay, Amelia, tell us
about today's movie. I have so much to say.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
I do too. So this is the twenty eleven classic
Dear Santa. It was originally a Lifetime movie, so I
have not watched this in a long time. It was
an old favorite of mine and oh my goodness, I
had forgotten a lot of this and it was it was.
It was very different than I remembered.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
So is it the favorite?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
I do still like it, but it was so when
you know the other the last the first movie we
watched this season, which we're in season four now. By
the way, congratulations to us. But so the first one
we watched this year, which was Christmas Prints, I had
I had kind of joked that like the little thing
came up in the beginning with you know, mourning fear,

(03:34):
you know, so I so now I'm paying attention. And
when this one popped up, it said PG thirteen violence,
alcohol and follul language, and I went, oh, I remember,
and it is. It had more of like a teen
movie feel to it, and I immediately went, okay, is
this different?

Speaker 4 (03:53):
And it is.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
It was different than I remembered it was. It was
not exactly Christmas Land.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
It was like.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Christmas Land, but a little more grown up.

Speaker 5 (04:00):
You know.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
It was Lifetime Christmas Land. It was Lifetime Christmas Land.
And it was different than I remembered in that way,
but it was you know, it was twenty eleven, and
you know, we are we are recording in twenty twenty three,
so it kind of took me back to like those
early Christmas Land years when they had not figured out
like the formula. So there were some of those some

(04:21):
of the tropes were there and some of those feelings,
but it was definitely it definitely was filmed in those
years where they didn't like I said they did not
have the formula, and they were like, Okay, let's make
a Christmas movie. So so I do still I mean,
I did still enjoy it. I did still like it.

(04:41):
But it's not the movie to watch when you want
that feeling.

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Yeah, it's not. It's not a Hallmark it's not a
Hallmark movie. It's not Christmas Land. It's Holiday Land. It's
like it's like the county next to Christmas County, right right.
I still though I had fun watching it. You texted
me last night you were like, oh my gosh, Kara,

(05:07):
I'm rewatching this through your eyes. I mean, there's there
are there are some significant things in here that, of
course are are very like relevant to where I live
and my life right now. But let's get started, because
tell people first, tell me introduce the movie. Tell people
about the movie. One of the interesting things about this

(05:30):
movie is that it's directed by Jason Priestley from nine
O two one.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh Yes, and we do love our Jason Priesley Christmas
Land movies.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
He has we love I love me some Jason Priestley.
I've always looked a Jason Priesley fan. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Absolutely. Plus it has it has several favorites. So it
is starring Amy Acker, who is an actress I love.
She will always be spread from the Buffy universe.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
To me, it has I didn't watch Buffy. I wasn't
a Buffy fan. I've never watched it. I've actually been
thinking of now that there's at and they're not making
anything new, I've been thinking about going to It's so iconic,
but I love her. She pops up and she's she's
a batgirl right like, she is just kind of an everything.
She pops up in TV movies, in studio movies, and

(06:14):
she's always she's looked the same for twenty five years
with gentlemen. How she's doing this beautiful woman? Yeah, Yeah,
she's like some kind of vampire. She's gorgeous and I
really enjoy herself. Happy to see her. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
And the male love interest is David Hayden Jones, who
is also a Christmas Land favorite. He's been in a
lot of Christmas Land movies.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Okay, am I am I crazy? But he reminds me
of Luke McFarlane. Yeah, I can see it. I see it.
It's the Canada mouth he does, yeah, very kidding, something
about the way Canadian men hold their mouths. It's very Canadian.
And then he also has all of Luke's features. He's

(06:59):
just sort of yeah, I can see I see your
ned and scruffian. I like him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
So we open, we quickly established that the protagonist who
is Crystal Corruthers, and she is like, hang on, hang on.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
I have to say, right, this is right from the start,
I'm like, okay, this is a Canadian movie. I did
look up some of the info on it and it
is like it is a Canadian movie, like it was
made for Canadian audiences. And then obviously Lifetime picked it up.
So I'm not gonna make too much fun of that.
But the fact that the main character, the two main

(07:37):
women in the show are Crystal and Jillian. Never have
there ever been two more Canadian names. Those are such
Canadian names. Every girl from if you were born between
the years nineteen seventy and nineteen eighty in Canada, there's
a good chance you were a Jillian or a Crystal.
I have four Crystals in my high school class at

(07:59):
christ and Mackays MacArthur, Christal Macangor and Crystal Sensbury, and
three of them are still my best friends.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh my gosh, okay, what about the guy named Derek
where there are a lot of Derek's.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yes, I had so many Derek's, Derek, Jason, Crystal, and Jillian.
I love it. I love it anyway. That tickled me,
all right.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
So Crystal, okay, So first thing happens. She's walking down
the street and she pulls up her iPhone and she's
got her little notes have open and it's like Christmas list,
and it's just a list of designer names. It's like
Christmas list Louis Vuton, Like, yes, I would like one
Louis Vuton for Christmas. Please, just I would like one Chanelle.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
That's gonna be my Christmas list this year, Kia, so
get on it. Oh okay, that's actually the list I
gave Mark too. So we're all said, maybe I should
send my listraight to Mark then cut out them.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
You might as well, because the only chance you'll get
of having a gift from this house is if Mark
says it.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
I think we both have an equal chance of getting
a getting what we want from Mark if we send
him a LISTA just says Chanel.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
So so I might as well. You might as well.
That's what I do. I don't even let him guess anymore, Ladies,
just a piece of advice before we move forward really quickly.
I think this is actually relevant Amelia for this podcast. Okay,
because Christmas season, giving seasons coming up. Yeah, there's a
lot of women are like, my god, he doesn't buy
me the things I want and I'm so disappointed. And

(09:23):
it's like he doesn't know me. No, he doesn't know you.
He doesn't understand you. Men don't understand women. So don't
set yourself up for disappointment. It's not that he doesn't
love you and it doesn't appreciate all the little things,
but he doesn't want to get you something that you're
not gonna like. There's a lot of pressure. Just give
him the list, make it simple, form a link. Yeah,

(09:47):
just give him the list. Forget about the romance part
of it. The romance is that he's like showing up.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
So are you saying that if I send Mark a
link to something specific that I want it, Chanel, he'll
get it for me.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
I'm saying that if he has any intentions of getting
you a gift, it will be a gift that you
have specifically requested. But good if she has good luck
coming through Kira, all right.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
So she's walking down the street with her list, and
she sees this red dress in the window and she's
ogling it and drooling over it, and meanwhile there's this postman,
you know, emptying the mailbox behind her, and this Dear
Santa letter you know, comes out of the mailbox. There's
a gust of wind and it blows it onto the
window in front of her. And we all know how
I feel about art that like, it's supposed to be

(10:36):
the kid drew it, but it clearly was an adult.
Well it's one of those it's like Deer Santa to
the North Pole, and obviously an adult wrote it in
a childish handwriting.

Speaker 4 (10:44):
It bugs me.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
So it, you know, just gets plastered to the window
in front of her by the wind and she grabs it,
but she's distracted by the dress, so she just shoves
it in her purse. The saleslady comes outside and goes,
it's the last one left, and it's in your size.
So I maybe the saleslady knows her because she shops
her all the time.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
Let's say that.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Because either that or she just looked at her and
automatically knows what size she is.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
I don't know, could be. I believe that salesladies. I
believe that you can't look a person and kind of
know the size. After a little wife, I'll buy it. Okay,
we'll accept it.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
So later she's having a video call with her mom,
who is on some it's definitely not a green screen.
First of all, he's definitely on an island, and it
is not a green screen.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
It's not a green screen. And she is not She
is not skyping because this isn't probably isn't even facetiming
in two thousand. Oh No, she is not skyping from
the beach.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
No.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
I mean, so she's you ever been on a beach vacation?
You brought your laptop out to the to the beach,
to skype, to skype.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Just to tell my daughter that, listen, she's thirty. It's
time to cut off her allowance. So she's like, listen,
you're thirty. We're tired of supporting you. This beautiful Manhattan apartment.
She's like, you either have to get a job or
a man to support you. But starting after Christmas, it's

(12:08):
time for you to get your own life.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
We're cutting you off. But I love that that was
the binary choice that her mom gave me. It's like,
either get a job or get a man. And then
crystals like, well, obviously i'm gonna get a man. I'm
not gonna get it right.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Well, she's like, I don't know what to do because,
like she says to her friend, she's like, I've been
trying to get a man for thirty years. And I
was like, you were trying to get a man when
you were like born. That seems that's a lot. Well,
it does all the prep work, Okay, that's fine. So
she's like, I guess. She's like, I guess I have
until Christmas to find a man or something.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
And so then she goes. So then she's so she
comes across the letter again, she's looking through a purse.
He's the letter again and again with the aggressive canadianness,
even the child.

Speaker 4 (12:53):
The child.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
She goes, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to
write last year.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
But Amelia, they're in New York. They're in New York City.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to ir last year.
So the gist of the letter is the mom has died,
because again this is old school Christmas Land this was
one of the tropes.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
They can't be divorced.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
The mom has passed away, so this is the second
Christmas without mom, and she's like, I need a new
wife for my dad. She needs to be nice, she
needs to be pretty, and she needs to make her
dad smile again.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
Love Olivia.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
So so Crystal starts telling her rich friend who did
she have a name? I don't remember.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
I'm like, no, I don't think she did. She's like
a fast friend. Yeah, bobo Kim Kardashian. I will say this.
It was at this point in the movie Amelia that
I noticed that there's not a single blonde person in
this movie. Interesting, everybody was a brunette. The only blonde
person was the dead wife because they showed like a

(13:57):
brief second of her in a picture. Is this some
kind of Jason Priestley like Freudian kind of like, I
wonder if his wife is a brunette. But there weren't
any blonde people in this movie. Love it. That's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
So I also noticed that even though there's no black
best friend, the rich best friend one hundred percent had
black best friend energy. She I don't know what it was,
but the friend is like, okay. So she's telling the
rich best friend that. She's like, she's like, I am
gonna be the wish and the friend is like, what

(14:32):
if she's a hillbilly? What if they live in the suburbs.
She's just like she's like trying to be the voice
of reason. She's like, you can't just like follow this
family around. That's weird. What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (14:43):
The friend was the only person making sense. I was like,
this is how we know this is a lifetime movie,
because there's somebody who's actually like, you could be murdered.
Like there is an episode of our show called The
Surprise is Murder, and it's all about how the innocent
Hallmark girl you know, always go off with these people.
But in real life, it's like, hey, you should not

(15:04):
be walking alone in the strange woods, right, older gentlemen.
You literally just met on the path, you know, right.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
And that's why I think that it was black best
friend energy, because she's like, you don't know these people.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
But there were no there were no blonde. There were
no minorities in this movie except one. We'll get to
that one. But there were no minorities in this movie. No,
not even blonde people. I saw one. I played it
was fun to play spot the black person because we're
somewhere more diverse these days. A doorman. So all right,

(15:42):
So the.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Next scene, she is straight up stalking this family in
her range rover. She's out in the suburbs. And of
course they've got this perfect beautiful house. He's got an
adorable kid. There's music playing. He's in this little pickup truck.
He's you know, got a snowplow on the front. And
then she like follows them, the dad and the daughter

(16:03):
having breakfast in a diner. They're adorable. She drops her
The little girl drops.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
Having breakfast in front of the in front of the window.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, so she can like watch them, you know, playful
banter at their breakfast.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
Weird, it's not weird.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
She's like leaning down in her range rover so she
can watch them. The little girl drops her mitten and
then she like goes and the crystal goes and like
drops it on the front porch and then like watches
him come out, and you know, he finds it, and
she is she is full on stalking these weirdos. And
I thought to myself, I wrote down gas was a

(16:40):
lot cheaper in twenty eleven. Like, I realized that she's rich,
but she's driving around in this range rover. I realize
that she has no job and she's got all the
time in the world and all the money. But gas
was cheaper because she she could just drive around all
day in this gas guzzler, following these people around.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
I doubted that she's even worrying about the price of gas.
I'm going to assume that she makes a special detour
to the only full service gas station in New York
City daily to get her casts.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Maybe she's driving over into New Jersey because they only
have full service in New right.

Speaker 4 (17:12):
Maybe no, she would not go to New Jersey, that's true,
all right.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
So then the dad, what's his name, Derek? He leaves
the daughter with the babysitter and goes into the back
door of this building, and I don't think she realizes
what it is, so she just follows him in.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
And it turns out that it is a soup kitchen.
So all right, so now we meet before we start. Okay,
I've worked and I had volunteered in soup kitchen. Oh bye, Yes,
this is definitely a Christmas Land soup kitchen in the
middle of New York City. Where are the naked people,

(17:54):
Where are the people covered in feces? Where are the
drug addicts with the needle hanging out of their arms?
None of those people were there.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
They were very clean, their clothes were all clean. There
was no mumbling, it was they were all.

Speaker 4 (18:11):
Doing very well.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I'm proud of themselves. I'm proud of themselves.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
Just people who are on hard not even on hard times.
Some of them are choosy, you know, they're just aren't
like us. But they're just people who are a little
down on their lap, just need someone to be nice
to them. Yep. All right.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
So so now we meet Pete.

Speaker 5 (18:34):
Who who kind of like and this is like the
gay best friend in Christmas Prince.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
This was like offensively over the top gay stereotype head
right down to the fact that he was wearing like
a bubblegump pink chef uniform, like the full like the
hat and the coat like the chef uniform. But it
was all bright pink.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
Oh my goodness. So she walks into this kitchen and
I see him in the periphery, right, I see the
pink outfit and I'm like, uh oh, gay bf. Okay,
this is lifetime, So we're gonna do that. We wouldn't
see the now we might see gay BFF on Hallmark,
not seeing him on Great American Right. But I was like,
this is gonna be gay BF. And he gets an intro.

(19:31):
He gets an intro, Honey, it is like Jack from
Will and Grace. He binds around and the camera pans
in on him and his Barbie pink chef hat and
he's got this huge diamond earring and he's.

Speaker 6 (19:44):
Like, well, hello, dou fabulous and she like recognizes the
shade of his pink and he is like recognizes whatever
she's wearing.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
And they're like Hindred spirits and he is like he
went to culinary school and they're fancy together.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
Oh my, it was no. He was so gay. He
was so they wanted you to be you a doll,
oh honey, oh girlfriend? And is it Derek delicious? Yes,
he is a tall drink of water. I am just
so gay. I'm going to be your best friend. I'm
going to dedicate the rest of my life to you.

(20:23):
I forget Derek in love get together. He couldn't have
been so stereotypically gay. And I'm not saying that guy
doesn't exist because I have lived with a couple of them.
But for online that is yeah, we we For mainstream,

(20:46):
I should say yeah, I'm sorry. I just got so
distracted thinking about that introduction. I was like, they did
not just go there? They oh, but they did.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
So he gives us a little more exposition about Derek.
This the shelter had been his wife's place, because Derek
has another job as a snowplow man because he's manly,
but this had been his wife's place, and when she
was dying, he promised that he would keep it going
for her forever and ever. So, she's super awkward with
the homeless people. She doesn't know what to do. She's uncomfortable,

(21:18):
but he thinks she's kind of adorable.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
Whatever.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
She ends up, you know, volunteering because she's there and
it's awkward, so whatever. The next day she goes back,
she volunteers again. She's getting a little more comfortable, you know.
Olivia shows up at the shelter the next day and
she's practicing her flute and honestly, she doesn't really like
the flute, but her she doesn't have the heart to
tell her dad she's not into it, which she really

(21:43):
likes is ice skating, but I don't know. She saysn't
have the heart to tell her dad that that's her
real passion.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
All right.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
So now we meet homeless Frank and he refuses to
come inside. We don't really know what the story is there,
but he refuses to come inside. So Derek always just
brings a little meal out to him and that's their deal.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Derek asks what's her name, Crystal, if she will come
tomorrow morning early because they're having a food delivery and
he needs some help on loading the truck. And she oversleeps,
so she rushes down there. She's got a little bit
of like face mask, face mask left on her face,
and it is obviously the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened.
She can't even imagine. So she shows up, she got

(22:26):
a little bit of mask left on her face, and
there's this.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
Other broad there, another brunette.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
And she totally smooches Derek, and Derek's like, well, there's
only like this one box left, but like I guess,
like thanks for showing up at the very end whatever
you tried. And it's like, I don't know who this
lady is. Oh my gosh, I had a little bit
of face mask left. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
She looked like a total fool, but I will say
her jacket game was on point. It's weete I loved on. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Also, just like every other food kitchen sup kitchen that
we see in Christmas Land, they only have like the
freshest produce.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
Right, no canned food, and they have a trained chef
in the kitchen who office clearly doesn't have any other
job or they're paying him. Maybe that's maybe he that is,
maybe that's why they're having some problems.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
This is just like Robert Baron and his soup kitchen
with all the with like one.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
I was thinking about Robert Baron and the soup kitchen
and then it reminded me of the Cobweb factory. Yes,
all right.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
So so Crystal and Pete go to this like coffee
truck and they're like and Pete is like, Okay, I
was not expecting you to be heartbroken about Jillian, who
was the girlfriend. He's like, I thought you just had
a little crush. I didn't know you actually had intentions
toward our Derek. So she shows so, so she shows
in the letter while they're in line for the coffees

(24:00):
and he's like, oh my goodness, it is fate. So
the deal with Jillian is they just dated in college
for a little bit and then he dumped her to
marry Laura, and he married the blonde.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
Yes, to marry the dead blonde.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
He's like, so all you have to do is show
Derek what that you have, what it takes to be
a mom, and then he just like walks away and
sticks Crystal with the bill after he ordered.

Speaker 4 (24:26):
The gayest coffee in the gayest way possible. Another thing
that was like, he's like goes up. He's all like,
let me get to extra gay here, and then he's like,
I'll have a double. It was a completely made up drink.
It was just back in twenty eleven, we were still
making jokes about coffee orders, right exactly.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
And then I love how he's just so casual, like
all you have to do is like wreck this guy's
relationship and be a mom to this girl who's grieving,
and you'll be fine.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
And she sends to me, Amilia, I don't know why
you're so skept.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
And she's also like, maybe I need to tell tell
him about the letter, and he's like, no, it's fate.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
I agree with him. He said at one point, what
he doesn't know won't hurt him. And I don't think
that you should tell somebody that you began your relationship
with them by stalking them. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Yes,
please make a note, Amelia.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
Okay, so all right. So then Crystal continues stalking on
that note by showing up at the rink because the
day before Olivia had said that she skates on Wednesdays
with her dad, and obviously there's only one rink in
New York City and only one time that it's open.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
No, she did tell her what rink it was. I
do remember that I didn't know because I only know
Bryant Park in New York City. I don't know much
about New York City, so I remembered. I was paying
attention to this part because it was also a very
Canadian thing that they are like, I want to take
ice skating lessons. Now sometimes that translates to the Christmas movies.

(26:04):
But when they all get to the ice, they all
skate very well, just.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Very nat Although I did notice that when Crystal gets there,
because she was like, oh, I'm a pretty good skater,
and she was telling Olivia. But when they got there
and she goes out and skates, they only show.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
Her from the neck down.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Her head's cut off and all the shots unless they're
really wide shots.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
That was probably what of Jason Priestley's like figure skating
champion pals came in for the day.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
So she goes out there and she does all these
you know, she skates and she's you know whatever, she's
spinning and but then she stops and then she just
falls over on purpose. So they have to rush out
there and help her, which okay, fine. So then so
Derek then his phone rings and he's dealing with important business,
snowplow business, and Crystal and Olivia are kind of hanging

(26:55):
out and she's like, I'm going to show you how
to turn figure skating one on one. It's called a spin,
So obviously was I was like, Jason Priestley, I'm disappointed
in you because I know that he knows how to
play hockey.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
Yeah. I don't know, but maybe the coaches do call
it a turn.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
They don't know. I'm gonna excuse it skated growing up,
nobody calls it a turn.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
I don't know what they call it on the ice.
I call it a spin, and I feel like I'm
not I don't know anything about the US. I'm saying,
though I.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Grew up on the ice. Nobody calls it a turn.
Everybody calls it a spin.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
Take it from me, Okay, the Canadian will take it
from you.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
The person who I'm just saying, I did figure skate
when I was little.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
I didn't. I always wanted to. I was the little
girl that always wanted to take biggure skating lessons and
always the bride, never the bridesmaid. I just had to
settle for nothing. I'm just saying that I did figure
skate and they are called spins. Well, Jason Priestley, this

(27:58):
is another X on. This is so Blondes and you
called Finn's turns all right.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
So now she's showing her how to she's trying to
show her how to spin, and she basically just knocks
the kid down on the ice, which.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
I love, you know, I love a good kid falling
down video time. What do you do?

Speaker 2 (28:19):
So she's, you know, hanging out with Olivia, and the
mean girls come over and they do this like bit
with their chapstick and like pop their lips at her,
and it's actually pretty funny. Even though I hated these
little girls.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
I giggled. I thought it was actually super cute. They're like, eh,
they're like making fun of Crystal because they're like, oh,
that Jacka is so twenty ten. And then they do
what we have to do this Amelia, we have so
when we're in public together, they do this a little
swipe with their chapstick and then top it off with
a wah. Yeah, it was so good. It was pretty funny.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
So then Olivia talks about how they both like this
guy Andrew, but he plays dadgeball with Olivia, So I mean,
she's got that going for her and that's probably why
these girls don't like her. So they're all so Derek
comes back and they're all hanging out and then Jillian
just stomps onto the ice and her boots, acting like
a bee word like an.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
Idiot, and they all leave. No. Well, first of all, okay,
I'm sorry. You do not walk on the ice with
your heels. It's not even about safety. You don't put
those divots in the ice. People need that ice to
be smooth. Yeah, she's a real bee.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
She has a bee, so Crystal's a little put out, and.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
And by Bee we mean bad Christmaster.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Bad Christmas exactly. That's what Bee stands for. So Chrystal's
hanging out with her best friend again. I love this
part so much. I laughed out loud. She goes to
her friend, do you ever just want a normal life?
And her friend goes, is this about that family you're stalking?

Speaker 4 (30:00):
I swear she did. She had Bobo Kim Kardashian vibes.
I laughed so hard, Oh, this is about that.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Family you're talking and she just kind of like Crystal
just kind of looks at her and then the scene's
over and I was like, that's a scene that they
could have totally cut, but it was perfect and I
loved it.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
This was great. It was I think that's like Jason
Priestley's sort of snarking and Jason Priestley's got another show.
Have you seen it? It ran here in the States
on AMC, But it was like a Canadian staple, not
when I was a Canadian. I was living here at
the time. But he plays a used car salesman and

(30:42):
he's won multiple Canadian awards for this show. But it
is a very dark character. They play I am not.
I'm gonna have to find that it's really good. It's
actually really really good. Like dramedy, these days, it seems

(31:04):
like everybody's talking, but no one is actually listening to
the things they're saying. Critical thinking isn't dead, but it's
definitely low on oxygen. Join me Kira Davis on Just
Listen to Yourself every week as we reason through issues
big and small, critique our own ideas, and learn to
draw our talking points all the way out to their
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(31:27):
Davis and FCB Radio podcasts on Apple, on Spotify, iHeart,
or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Okay, so back at the soup kitchen the next day,
Oh so earlier, I should mention that Pete had referred
to Jillian as a two faced hyena and Chrystal didn't
really get it. So the next day they'ret the soup
kitchen and Jillian walks in and she goes you who
and then starts giggling like hey, so she's so. Crystal's like, okay,
I get the hyena reference now, and she is her

(31:56):
you Who's and stuff. We're just irritating. So they're about
stuff up.

Speaker 4 (32:01):
Setting her up is irritating. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
So this homeless man starts coughing, and Derek is like, Oh,
I'm gonna I need a nap can. Does anyone have
a napkin to give him as a new summing to
cough into. So Jillian hands him a kleenex from her
purse and he coughs all over her glove, and as
she leaves, she.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
Throws away her glove.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
And we're supposed to think that this is more of
her being a bee. But to be honest, there are
very few people who could cough all over my glove
and I would keep them, or at least not.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
Okay, I get that bout what if your glove was
like this felt very white privileging to me, Like what
if your glove costs one hundred bucks? I get it
that you don't want to, well my gloves, just don't
hold it up and take it, take them to the cleaners.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
So maybe it's because I buy gloves he are like
a dollar because Walmart. Yeah, And to be fair, even
at that, I'd probably just wash it. I'd probably just
shove it and I would fold it inside out and
wash it.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
Yes, so she is being a real.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Beat Okay, so she is being a bee just.

Speaker 4 (33:09):
Dropping it and by the way, dropping it like right outside,
right outside, wait to show her disgust for the people
in there.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Okay, I accept that because I was thinking. I was like,
even if it was like my bestie or somebody, I
would be like, I don't really want this flum covered glove.
But but you're right, because even though my gloves are
like i'd buy them for like a dollar at the checkout,
I would probably still just wash it. All right, all right, fine,
I've changed my mind.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
Okay, good.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
So and then Crystal is kind of walking out at
the same time, and Derek's still inside doing whatever he's doing,
and Jillian is like, is that a real Stella m
handbag or something? And she's like, actually, it's burbery. And
obviously it's burbery because it's like got the check pattern.
I don't know why she thought it was going to
be a Stella McCartney and then and she's like and

(34:00):
then so Jillian's like, I'm actually, no, mine's burbery. And
then Crystal goes, I don't think Burberry uses vinyl.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
I loved that.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
I was like, snap, so I did like, and that
was one of the things about this movie is that
the girl does fight back, you know. And in Christmas
Land when the girlfriend, you know, when the like competition
kind of girl is mean, the Hallmark the Christmas Lane
girl just kind of takes it like she doesn't really
fight back because the lady, yeah, the like competition, you know,

(34:34):
mean girl is allowed to be mean. Yeah, and the
Christmas Land heroine is not mean back. But Crystal fights back.

Speaker 4 (34:46):
I liked it. I liked that little Caddy remark. And
there were a couple of other moments in the movie
too where she was like super catty and I was like, yeah, oh,
I'm here for this and my life like tickled burbery.
It's so dated, right, I don't know that we're carrying heround,
that we're hearing on about burbery these days like we
did then. Also, yeah, you're right, that bag was clearly

(35:06):
burbery and clearly fake, like clearly Vinyl. So I love
I loved that little barb. Jillian is such a bee.
She's awful.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
So so Derek and Gillian leave and do their thing,
and then Frank, who refuses to go inside, is hanging
around again, and he seems cold but he won't go inside,
so Crystal gives him her scarf, and then she is inspired.

(35:37):
So she goes home and like cleans out her whole
house and gets all of her extra stuff, including like
her spices, spices.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
She's like going through a close. Okay, sweater scars, got it.
It's winter, people need warmth. And then she goes to
the kitchen. I'm like, great, she's putting a food package together. Fabulous.
And she goes to the spice cabinet. So anyways, the
homeless people got a lot of spices.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, So she goes back to the food the soup
kitchen the next day and she's like, here, Pete, I
got some spaces, you know, and he's like thanks, like
he's excited, but yeah, I think you would have been
like yeah, He's like you're human, you know. And I
was kind of thinking, obviously everything she owns is expensive.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
I'm like, I'm.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Pretty sure that this place would have been better off
if you had sold your items and donated the money,
and you could have.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
I saw the label on the spices and it was
Walmart brand. It was it was great. I was more
referring to her.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
I was more referring to her clothing items, because she
went around and like gave everybody her scarves and her
sweaters and stuff. And I was thinking, like, for every
Kashmir scarf, she could have sold it and bought ten
Walmart scarves and kept all these people, correct, kept a
lot more people warm.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah, just before your people lot that many times during
the film, like why doesn't she just sell some of
her stuff? Right?

Speaker 2 (37:02):
So, speaking of their need for money, Derek opens his
mail at the Soup Kitchen and just huge red letters
across the paper.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
It just says notice of eviction. So soup Kitchen, clearly
they're getting evicted. Let me guess they're getting evicted if
they don't pay by Christmas, my Christmas.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
I think it might even be Christmas eve.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
I don't know. Anyway, there's a patly because this New
York City landlord, despite all of the protection laws for rectors, right,
I can do that, just boot you out of a
place with one week notice, right.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
And also I just and I do not know, but
it seems like these are the kind of things that
would happen like at the end of a month to me,
I don't know, not like I'm four.

Speaker 4 (37:51):
Literally right before the holiday. Yeah, anyways, who cares? It
was At that point, I'm like, okay, I understand I'm
in Christmas Land or I'm in Christmas Lands Jankier neighbor
holiday Land, and I need to disbelief. So okay, fair enough.
The eviction process can be as short as a week.
I accept it exactly.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
So Olivia comes flying in. She can spin now. She
is so excited she has learned to spin.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
So Crystal's like, walk, I think you mean she's learned
to turn.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Actually, I think she said spin now because I was
excited because she's a spin She said it right, and so.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
I did notice.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
So Crystal's like, well, obviously, now what you need is
a skating skirt so that when you spin, it flies
out and then it is true. It's a big deal.
And Derek's like, well, we can't go tonight because I
need to like, I need to work, I need to
plows and driveways. So let me call I think her
name is Jessica or something, the babysitter, and and Olivia

(38:54):
is like, well, why can't Crystal babysit for me? And
Crystal kind of starts to panic, and I thought this
was whole Larius Pete just like nips at her with
her with his tongs, kind of like that was so cute,
and she's like what He's like, I was really cute.

Speaker 4 (39:09):
What are you saying no for? I also realized there
are several times in this movie where he asks Crystal
or Crystal helps out, and I'm and I'm thinking, like,
you hardly know this woman. And also the other thing
is that she is available all the time. So she's young,
she's gorgeous, she's rich, and she lives in New York

(39:30):
City and she never has anything to do. I just
feel like Derek should be, you know, there should be
a lot of red flags around this woman. He should
have some questions.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Yeah, yeah, so and she makes this comment to to Pete.
She's like, I've never babysat before, and he's like, I
thought all of us preteen girls did.

Speaker 4 (39:47):
I laughed, Okay, you got me, gay Pete, you got
me Pete, all the preteen girls. And she's like, well
I didn't.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
So, and of course they do this whole like bit
about how she's like useless. She tries to like open
a can of soup with her hands, just like pull
the top off, use a can opener.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Your favorite thing a woman. It reminded me of the
Lindsay Lohan movie that we did where she was like
the pancakes and the kitchen and she couldn't even like
understand what the pan died or something.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yes, she's like, how do I use this? Like yeah,
like I think, sir, and she didn't know how st
so and I thought it was cute because she says,
so they end up like ordering a pizza. She's like
burning stuff. But they have a really fun night and
it's cute. But I thought it was really cute because

(40:42):
she says to Olivia, so, how are the cherry chapsticks?
And that's I thought that was a cute little moment
for them, and.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
She tells so.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Olivia tells Crystal that she and her mom used to
have Christmas date night where they would go to Roselawn
Park and have a cocoa and they would make a
wish on this Christmas tree and she said, but you know,
this year, I don't think I need She said, but
this year, I wrote a letter to Santa, and I
think maybe my wish is gonna come true. She said,

(41:11):
what about you and your mom? And Crystal says that
her mom was always busy, but she had really nice nannies,
So it's kind of and Olivia's kind of like, what's
a bummer?

Speaker 4 (41:21):
Yeah, yeah, the obligatory, rich, distant parent and yeah, that's
definitely a trope. Yeah, all right.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
So then the phone rings and it's like very twenty
eleven because she like looks at the caller idea and
the landline and she's like, it's Jillian. I have an idea,
Olivia does. She's like, I have an idea. So she
answers and she's like, oh, hi, Jillian. She's like, no,
my dad's not home. I think he's on a date
with Crystal little troll child.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
Yeah though, because Gillian's a bee, so.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
She has a bee, and now we know whose team
Olivia is on, so naturally obviously, so it's kind of cute.
Derek comes home and Crystal and Olivia are watching I
think it's a Christmas Carol and they're just like snuggled
up sleeping on the couch and so he's like, listen,

(42:20):
it's super late. Why don't you just crash here tonight
in the guest room or on a couch whatever, in
a couch.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
Because no one ever has everyone has a guest house
in Christmas Land, but no one ever seems to have
a guest guest room, like you don't see it. There's
a few times when there's a guest room, but only
if they own a bed and breakfast or something. It's like,
I all, this is a trope in Hollywood period, like
in films period, this idea of like, oh, the husband
and wife live in this huge house in the suburbs.

(42:50):
He gets in a fight with the wife and has
to sleep on the couch. Right, don't tell me you
don't have five bedrooms in that house. Right. Well?

Speaker 2 (42:57):
And also you know when I when I sleep at
a friend's house, I feel like they'll frequently if they
don't have a guest room, they'll like either have the
kids share a room and give me one of the
kids rooms, or when the kids will sleep on the couch,
they don't like, pick me on the couch and the
kid gets their room. But that's what happened here.

Speaker 4 (43:15):
I have always put the adult in the kid's room
and made the kids uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
Right, But anyway, Olivia slept in her room and she
slept on the couch. But before they go to bed,
he's telling her like that he's dating Jillian. He's like,
I really, he's like Jilly, Olivia needs a mom. He's like,
but it's not, he's not. It's not really about me.
So it's kind of like he's kind of like, I'm
just gonna marry somebody to give this kid a mom.
And I'm like, that's not really super healthy for the

(43:39):
kid to just like.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
I'm just gonna marry somebody. I know. It's like so resigned.
And also it's like, all right, you're gonna marry somebody.
Also like she hasn't Why does somebody have to be Jillian?
Like she's the worst you got. You guys have no couch.
You're a hot single dad widow with a good job,
your own home, and you run a freaking soup kitchen.

(44:03):
Throw a rock, dude and hit some like.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I know, I don't get it. And and she's not.
She the wife hasn't been gone that long. It's not
like the daughter is like suffering over here because you've
been single forever. And there's like you're like this revolving
door of women and she's confused. I've got to just
pick somebody. I don't know what's going on. That was
the weirdest argument I've ever heard for why you need

(44:28):
to marry Jillian?

Speaker 4 (44:29):
But yeah, it was.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
It's not like great, it's not like I'm in love
with her, and Olivia adores her, so this is like,
you know, it was very strange. It's not about me, okay, Okay.

Speaker 4 (44:43):
So she.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
So she spends the night and in the morning she
wakes up and they're just like decorating the tree in
the room where she's sleeping.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
So they're talking about why artificial trees are terrible, and
they're right, they are terrible. And Jillian walks in horrified
because she was gonna come over and make brunch this
morning and basically walking in on this like adorable domestic
scene that doesn't involve her. And were she anyone but
Jillian Vibe, I would be on her side because I

(45:18):
would be mad if I were the girlfriend in that
situation too.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
But she is a bee, so whatever, be mad? Yeah,
I mean it is. You're right, it was both. It's
like I would be too, Why is this young attractive
woman at your house and there doesn't seem to be
even though he's flirting with the idea of marrying her
and she clearly wants to marry him. There doesn't seem

(45:43):
to be a sense of like real permanency to their relationship.
They still do seem like they're in the beginning stages
of dating. So I did get the impression that maybe
Jillian was like, Okay, I don't like her being here,
but we're not serious enough for me to like make
demand uns loudly at least, right, But then we have

(46:05):
the great bakeoff.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
We do, so okay, so Jillian, this scene was hilarious.
So Jillian goes into the kitchen and is really trying
and not even so first she's just trying to put
herstal down. So she walks into the kitchen sees where
she had tried to make soup but like then forgot
about it and burned the pan, and she goes, oh,

(46:27):
my lord, what happened here? So, first of all, there
is no oh my lord kind of talk going on
in Great American family. No, there was no taking the
lord's name in Vain.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
It was several taking the lord names. And it was
so jarring, it really was. It was. It was disconcerting.
There was a gd in there, that's your life.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
I have that layer too, It was so.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
It was so I was like, oh, no.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
I was like, we can have the mean girls, we
can have still snapping back. We are not taking the
Lord's name in vain on Christmas. No, no, no, I
would say here for it.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
But that is again, even when someone dropped that GD,
I was like, this is so Canadian because and you'll
notice this too when you watch British television, which I
know you watch a lot of, because Amelia is an
eighty three year old woman trapped in a young woman's body.

(47:29):
But there is such a God. There's a godlessness too
that like entertainment sphere, they are definitely way further down
the post Christian era road than we are here in America.
So there are things that you still wouldn't necessarily see

(47:49):
on mainstream television in America openly, like having a news
anchor or something openly mocking, you know, Christian belief or
openly say something about, oh, God is just made up.
I was watching a British show the other day and
just the host of the show just said it so casually,
and everybody just laughed, like we all accept this idea

(48:09):
that there's no God. And I don't care what their
beliefs are. I just think it's interesting that it's very acceptable.
And here we still we don't think we do, but
we still have some boundaries on how far we'll go
to ridicule religion. And so you still wouldn't see that
in a Christmas movie. Yeah, I was like, well yeah.

(48:30):
And then so she's like, I guess she's not much
of a cook.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
I wrote down all these little like quotes like this
was like rapid fire. And then so she's gonna make
a brunch and Olivia wants her to stay, and she goes, well,
I'm sure Chrystal has things to do, like shopping.

Speaker 4 (48:47):
Okay, Like I guess that was a barb, but like, yeah,
I do have to go shopping. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
So speaking of shopping Crystal, so Olivia has been saying
that she kind of needs some new stuff and that's
something she used to do with her mom, and Crystal
had said, well, you know, I would be happy to
take you shopping sometime, and so Olivia mentions it to
her dad in front of Jillian, and I love this moment.
Jillian goes, well, you know, Derek, I don't think that

(49:19):
we really know Crystal well enough for her to just
take Olivia's shopping, which you just left her alone with
your kid last night, like you know, we're well enough
to babysit, but not well enough to be alone in
public with.

Speaker 4 (49:32):
Her, but whatever.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
So he's like, well, yeah, I guess maybe I don't
know Crystal well enough to like take my kids shopping,
so I'll just go with you. So now, good job, Jillian.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
How you've got them going.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
On a family outing together. Are you happy now you
did it?

Speaker 4 (49:50):
She is not happy about that. Keep shut, ladies.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
So he so Derek goes outside to do whatever he's doing,
and she's like, so, Jillian's like, you know, you can
help me make breakfast whatever. She's like, you do know
how to whip cream, don't you? And of course Crystal doesn't,
but she's like yeah. So the two of them get
into this like bake off where she's Jillian's scrambling the

(50:18):
eggs and Crystals whipping the cream, and they're like fighting
each other and they end up basically in a food
fight in the kitchen, and Derek walks in and is like,
what is going on here? Except he knows exactly what's
going on here. They're basically you're fighting over him, and
he knows exactly what's going on and he is just like,
are you adults?

Speaker 4 (50:39):
Like what is going on here? But then they all
still have breakfast, but they also have breakfast together.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
But before they have breakfast together, Crystals in the bathroom
getting cleaned up because Gillian threw eggs at her raw
like raw eggs.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
And she finds the engagement ring. Mm hmm, the very
underwhelming engagement ring. So we did a Christmas prince in
that engagement ring was the gaudiest. I mean, but he
is a snowplow driver. I would rather go for the
simple ring, honestly, Like, I don't. I don't think it

(51:17):
really matters what size the ring is. Is it thoughtful
and pretty? Yeah, that's all you need.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
And Jillian maintaining her status as the biggest being in
the world is like, listen, we were together in college
and Jillian or She's like, Saint Jillian stole him from me,
and he is not going to get stolen again Laura
the way Saint Laura stole him.

Speaker 4 (51:42):
Well, I am not He's not gonna get stolen again.
And Crystal like, Okay, that's creepy. There's a lot of
creepiness going on around this guy. Both these women are creepy. Yeah,
it's all right.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
So they go out, they're apparently still all going to
breakfast together, and Derek and Gillian are like, and Olivia
had complained about this the night before.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
They're just like sitting there looking at your books, and.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Jillian's like, remember this time, remember this, remember this, and
it's just like it's weird.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
So I feel when I go to my husband's work events.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
So Jillian goes Crystal, where'd you go to college? And
she's like, oh n yu, and she goes, what year graduate?
She's like two thousand and three? Okay, oh okay. So
later Crystal's like that was just she's telling her friend,
her rich friend.

Speaker 4 (52:37):
She's like, it was just kind of weird.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
Like Gillian seems like she's trying to catch me doing something.
I don't know what the deal is.

Speaker 4 (52:43):
I didn't understand why it mattered. Who cares? Yeah it was.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
It was just kind of strange, all right. So now
we get our shopping montage. The three of them, no
Jillian allowed, are going shopping. We get shopping for Olivia,
getting her some new stuff, huge long shopping montage and
they leave with like two bags.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
It was really cute though, because the dad it was
a fancy store, and so they kept the help kept
offering him drinks. So first they offer him coffee and
pastries and he's like, oh, and then they offer him like,
I don't know, like a soda or juice or something,
and then well, cucumber water, and then the next thing
is champagne, and then he's obviously there. It was kind

(53:26):
of a gag. I thought it was cute. He's obviously
there for a long time, watching a girl's shop, and
so there's a series of drinks. I thought it was
a cute.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Right, but then they leave with like two bags.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
I have noticed the other thing I didn't care for.
And maybe this is just, you know, being a newer
in directing at the time. For Jason Priestley, I have
no idea, but there were a lot of establishing shots.
We spent a lot of time on shots. It made
me appreciate the tightness of Hallmark movies. You don't see
people driving from one location to another. The only time

(54:00):
people are walking is if they're doing a walk and talk.
You don't have to watch them get out of their car,
go into the store, stand around for a minute. You
start when the action starts. And it was the same
with that montage is like, hmm, there was a lot
of wasted time in it, and then you're right. And
then afterwards they come out with two bags. However, I'm
going to assume that it was very expensive. Yes, yes,

(54:25):
you've got a little for And then I thought it
was I do want to point out here, Oh I'm
trying to be better about our time. So we're winding
down to an hour here, so I'm going to try
to not interrupt you so much.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Oh, no, you're good. I can try to. I can
try to go faster, all right. So as they're leaving,
I thought it was so funny because he is and
then he's like, so, hey, you know you volunteer a lot.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
At the soup kitchen. What do you do for work?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
And I'm like, you've like left this woman alone with
your child and stuff. You haven't even had the basic
like what do you do conversation?

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Okay and all right. So then as they're walking they
come to like the little wishing Christmas tree and she's like,
I think Santa's been working on my wish. So obviously
you know we know what the wish is because we've
seen the letter. All right, he drops her off at
home later, so we know she lives in this big,
fancy building. Olivia's asleep on her shoulder and he's like, hey,

(55:22):
Olivia has a skating lesson on Tuesday.

Speaker 4 (55:24):
Do you want to come?

Speaker 2 (55:25):
And she's like yes, and again no details about what time.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
And also clear she has nothing to do on Tuesday
and nothing to do on Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
Olivia wakes up, gives her a hug and says it
felt like she had.

Speaker 4 (55:38):
A mom again today. Oh, it's very sweet. It's clear,
like we you said it. Olivia's picked sides, Olivia his picksides.
I don't know why Derek was taking Derek so long, right.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
I was gonna say, And if Derek was paying any
attention and if his only like, if the only thing
that mattered to him was giving Olivia a mom, he
would just married this total.

Speaker 4 (56:00):
Stranger, right, I don't. And she's at least fun, right,
Jillian is just a real diffic.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Yeah, she has like zero redeeming qualities.

Speaker 4 (56:10):
Yea, all right. She goes to the skating lesson.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Derek and Crystial have like a little bit of a look.

Speaker 4 (56:17):
There's like a vibe. There's a moment. It's a moment
and Crystal.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
She's started like she's starting to Christmas up a little bit.
She's thinking about she's talking to her mom again on Skype.
She's thinking about getting a real tree this year, her
mom who's definitely not in front of a green screen,
her mom who is definitely on an island and not
in front of a green screen. And her parents are
not going to come home for Christmas this year, but
she's not surprised.

Speaker 4 (56:43):
It doesn't seem like a big loss.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Classic typical. But then Olivia calls deaf con one. Her
dad is about to go on a date and he
is wearing a suit.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
So he's probably going to propose, probably going to propose.
So the man, I'm less excited to propose.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
So he goes. He walks in the restaurant with Jillian,
who is honestly just psychotic at this point, and she goes,
where's Olivia not with Crystal? I hope just stop. You
know you're about to get proposed to. Just stop, you want, lady, jeez.
So then she's like, I've been asking around about her.

(57:28):
I talked to my friend who went to n YU
and Crystal didn't even graduate. Well, first of all, I
would assume n YU is big enough that like, why
did this person?

Speaker 4 (57:37):
Like, I don't know. I'm I guarantee.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
There are people I went to college with who didn't graduate.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
I don't know. There's ninety thousand people at NYU. This
I know because my son applied. I mean, I don't know,
and I of them didn't graduate.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
I don't know, and I probably know, and I do
know a couple kids at my school who also did
that I know didn't graduate. I don't care.

Speaker 4 (58:00):
Right, there are two people my husband and I met
in college. We have two people went to college in
the in this house, and only one of us graduated.
Guess which one.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
I don't care.

Speaker 4 (58:12):
It was me and I do a Hallmark podcast, and
he supports our entire family, So.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
I don't care.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
I like this was a problem.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Yeah, Well, and then Derek is like, I didn't graduate either, Jillian, Yeah,
what's your point.

Speaker 4 (58:31):
Well, she's like, well, you didn't lie about it, and
he's like okay.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
So then so then Derek's phone rings and he answers it,
and the guy at the next table is like one
percent offented.

Speaker 4 (58:43):
It's so twenty eleven, like, oh, people answering their cell
phones and public.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Which and like, I do you know, I get it
as a fancy restaurant whatever. So Olivia is pretending to
be sick. So Derek's like, I've never been so excited
to have a reason not to propose it.

Speaker 4 (58:59):
But if I'm just take a hit.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
So he goes home and he's checking on Olivia, and
Crystal shows up because because Olivia is basically a mastermind,
and he called. She called Crystal too, to give Derek
like the first clue he's ever had in his life.
And it's like, Crystal, tuck me in because I love
her and you should marry her instead, you freaking idiot,
because I like her better. Didn't quite say that, but

(59:26):
it was in her eyes.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
And also it's just like so again, I'm just so
stuck on this idea that if the wife is the
thing that you need, you know, you don't necessarily care
about being in love. All right, I'll go back to
my original thing, Amelia, throw a rock and hit a
lady who wants a hot single dad who loves his

(59:50):
daughter and is a widow and needs to be taken
care of, Like throw a rock, Well, there's one at
your house right now. She's like way more fun. She's rich.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Yeah, and your daughter chooses her.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Your daughter obviously hates Jillian because he likes Jillian.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
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(01:00:33):
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get your podcasts today.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
So Crystal is like, hey, sorry that your date got
screwed up, And He's like, ah, my heart wasn't in
it anyway, whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
Okay, I just can't believe how close this man came
to proposing to a woman that he just really was
kind of mad about the whole time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
I don't even think it was mad. I think you,
like added dislikes her.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
If if Olivia hadn't called, like, if she hadn't baked sick,
was he gonna come home with a fiance? I guess
in whatever lifetime? Okay, I'm on board. Let's just go.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Crystal goes on to tell her, Yeah, usually I don't
like it when kids lie and stuff, but Olivia is
the only person holding his family together.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
So Crystal tells him that she is available to volunteer
on Christmas, and he's like, oh, we're going to be
closed by then because I owed ten thousand dollars in rent,
which for a building that size in New York City
is probably like two weeks back.

Speaker 4 (01:01:40):
Not even that's probably one week ten thousand dollars. No,
that's for a store front. It's probably more like twenty
k a week, to be honest, So ten thousand is
not a lot to be in arrears for any right,
You're not going to get.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Four closed on, even in twenty eleven.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
Yeah, even in twenty eleven. And to do it right again,
we've already stipulated this is how it works in holiday land.
They're a little nastier over there. But to be like, well,
you have one week and will boot out all your
homeless peoples, Like who is running the government in this

(01:02:21):
version of New York City. It's like Nancy Pelosi, Let
me ice cream.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Derek realizes that Olivia has a flutelesson tomorrow, and she's sick,
so he better call and cancel. He's gonna leave a
message with the flute instructor and Crystal's like, hey, listen,
she hates the flute. She just didn't want to tell you,
but just so you know, you can cut some corners there.
You can you know, save on some budget because she

(01:02:50):
actually hates it, and he's like what, And then he goes,
she needs a mother like you. I mean a woman
like you. I mean someone have girl talk with.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
And I'm like okay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
Once again, he realized that the person she's confiding in
is Crystal.

Speaker 4 (01:03:03):
Not Jillian. Derek isn't very smart.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
So then he says to her, Hey, why did you
lie about graduating? And I was thinking, why did you check?
That would be my response, No, he didn't check, no,
but that would be my response because she didn't the
girlfriend Jillian, right, But she doesn't know that when Crystal,
when he said he says to Crystal, why did you

(01:03:29):
lie about graduating? Crystal doesn't know he didn't. He doesn't
say Jillian checked, blah blah blah. He just says, why
did you lie?

Speaker 4 (01:03:35):
Oh? Oh, I get yeah. She's like yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
She was like, well, I was just embarrassed. And on
the spot blah blah blah. But what I would be
thinking was why did you check you weirdo?

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
That was my first question too. Yeah, I get it,
You're right my first question.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
So then he goes, do you have any more secrets
I should know about? And she goes, probably.

Speaker 4 (01:03:57):
That's for part two, which will be on Netflix.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
And he's like okay, fair enough, bye, all right. Later
next day, I guess Crystal is back at soup kitchen
because she has nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:04:10):
Else to do.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Frank is outside and she goes, Frank, have you ever
made a decision that you thought would be a good
one and it ended up changing your life in ways
you never imagined? And I'm like, you're asking the homeless
guy at soup kitchen if he's ever made a bad decision.

Speaker 4 (01:04:30):
After he had literally said I made a choice one
time to go inside, and my life is never the same.
So I was like, okay, thanks for the callback.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
And so he says something about like you could gamble
your life away and she's like, you gambled, and he
goes every last GD penny.

Speaker 4 (01:04:51):
And I was like, ooh lord, no, yeah, I don't
go to the soup kitchen on Christmas. No, forgive us, Jesus,
he did not make your name in vain. Also again
another version of this Christmas Land homeless world, right, where
it's not that Frank's a pedophile who can't actually own

(01:05:13):
a house within you know, four hundred feet of a
school or a park and therefore is forced to live
on the streets where he's a drug addict and he
poops in the streets and he's actually a mep had
zombie who hasn't had a real meal or a bath
in five years. Right, He's just he gambled, So you
can come back from that, right. He's not evil enough

(01:05:35):
to be like, oh, we really shouldn't be encouraging Frank
to come inside, right, right, because he's a terrible person.
He just was a gambler.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
Yeah, So he's decided never to go inside again. So
Crystal goes inside and talks to Pete and she's like, listen,
I think I really need to tell Derek I need
to come clean about the letter because I'm really starting
like I really care about these people, you know, Derek, Olivia,
and I need to just be honest. And Pete's like,
but then I'll spoil the magic.

Speaker 4 (01:06:07):
Very gay, Yeah, Pete Pete was very gay about everything,
but you know, I kind of get it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
I think it's terrible advice, but what do I know.
So so she comes flying back out into the soup
kitchen area and she's like, my car was stolen. It
was parked right out front. And Derek goes, you mean,
right right by the signs that say no parking. Your
car will be towed, and she's like oh, and he goes,

(01:06:34):
and she goes, I'll call it, and he goes, I'll
give you a ride to the tow yard. And she goes,
I'll call a cab, and he goes, don't be silly.
She goes, okay, because.

Speaker 4 (01:06:45):
He registered a little surprise on his face too that
she so readily accepted. I thought that was actually a
really yeah, it was really funny. Yeah, I was kind
of a cute moment.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
So all right, So he goes to take her to
pick up her car at the toe yard, but a
customer calls and it's like, I need you to tow my
parking lot right now. So sorry, I said that in
a very strange voice.

Speaker 4 (01:07:10):
So did we get to this part yet? I can't remember.
If this is further down the road where Pete talks
about getting plowed. Not quite yet, all right, anyway gets
snow plowed. They've got to go plow. They're gonna go plow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
So he needs this customer needs his parking lot plowed,
like yeah, as an emergency. So she goes with him,
and so he shows her how to like work the
little plow front thing on his truck, and it's like
it's kind of bumpy because they like, you know, slam
right into the snow. And she kind of like goes
like ah, and he goes, you're a little scared. I

(01:07:51):
like that, And I was like, Okay, we're getting a
little weird here.

Speaker 4 (01:07:56):
Maybe that's what he likes about these two women, a
little danger factor. Yeah, he likes it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
They're about to Cleisler's eyes out all the time. So
he tells her that tomorrow there is a Christmas party
for his snowplow company at eight o'clock. And I was
excited because there was an actual time. He gave her
a time to be there, and when he drops her
off at her house, they say goodbye to each other

(01:08:22):
like a hundred times, and it was kind of cute.
It's kind of like that you hang up first, no,
you hang up first kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (01:08:28):
So it was sort of cute.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
And then she calls and tells Pete that he is
going to cater this party because Derek told her. He's like,
he's like, you know, it's just like a potato, chips
and beer kind of party.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
So she calls Pete.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
She's like, unacceptable, you're catering this thing. So she gets
here the gay bff.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
So he doesn't have anything better to g before Christmas? No,
So she gets don got no like drag shows to
go to or fabulous parties.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
Or any or anything else to cater because he's a
really good chef and it's the week before Chris or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:09:01):
Yeah, he's good.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
So she's trying to figure out what's where. She doesn't
know what to where. She's talking to Pete on the
phone and she's like, I don't know, Like I don't know.
We felt like we had a moment yesterday, but I
don't know if there was like a thing, and he goes,
you plowed snow together.

Speaker 4 (01:09:17):
That's one step away from plowing. I was like, oh no,
what did Amelia get me into? What am I watching?
I This is an absolute first on this podcast. Absolutely
at first, we have dealt with shirtless men, we have

(01:09:41):
dealt with kisses before the end of the movie. We
have never had. We've even dealt with undercover sexual references.
We have never had. We have never seen something this blaytant.
I was. I was shocked and appalled. Apologize.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
I hope that Mark forgives me for bringing this into
your home.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
Amelia. I I just was like, I cannot believe that
Amelia is making me watch. I really was like, oh
my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
I was that moment, Like I said, I have not
watched this movie in so long, and I was like.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
I was shocked.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
We're gonna have to put We're gonna have to put
like an explicit label on this episode.

Speaker 4 (01:10:32):
All right, fair enough, it's lifetime, But it really didn't
fit in with the way the rest of the movie
was so like maybe something that got forgotten or left
over in a first draft, right, because the film was
not I mean, it really didn't have this kind of vibe.

Speaker 5 (01:10:50):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
We've talked about how it's a little more grown up,
you know, it's like, you know, like Crystal slapping back
a little bit and that kind of thing, clapping back.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
But what no, Pete it down.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
The next one is gonna have to be like an
actual children's movie or something. We're gonna need to like, wow.

Speaker 4 (01:11:14):
Keep going. Pete needs to just just tone it down.
They had their okay, we're we're not at the party,
and are we no?

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
Okay, well, she's she's arriving at the party and where
she was specifically told that this was a beer and
potato chips party and then proceeded to invite a caterer
without telling anyone. So she shows up in the red
cocktail dress. I think it's the dress she was in
love with at the beginning, and then it's shocked that

(01:11:47):
everyone else is just sort of like in jeans and
plaid and stuff because it's a snowplower party, right, and like, listen,
you know, if you want to show up looking good,
good for you. But she's sort of like, oh, I
didn't realize that would be over dress.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
Well, I mean she was dressed for like a Christmas
like a Christmas cocktail party plaza, right, And Derek is
feeling it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
He thinks she looks hot, and of course, stupid Jillian
she comes over and is like, Derek, you should have
told her the dress was casual. The poor thing must
feel so silly.

Speaker 4 (01:12:23):
I love this clap back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
So Jillian goes, I've written down. She goes, well, I've always.

Speaker 4 (01:12:29):
Felt, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
So she says something like, well, you might as well
dress up, and she goes, what's worse showing up looking
fabulous or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:12:37):
I loved that. I was like, snap three snaps in
a Z formation. So good.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
So she goes into the kitchen where Pete is cooking,
and they just like.

Speaker 4 (01:12:51):
There's a great moment. Though. When she walks into the party,
it's clear that this party is not anywhere near the
class thought it was. She sees Pete in the he
he's decked out. He's looking very gay. He's got his
gay uniform on right, it's like a flamboyant shirt and
it's all pink. You know, gay guys don't wear anything
but pink is. And he pokes his hat out the

(01:13:13):
kitchen and he's clear that he is like, what did
you get me into? And he looks at her and
he mouths the words like come help me. Now. I
was I thought it was so funny. I laughed out
loud because he was so upset.

Speaker 6 (01:13:28):
He was.

Speaker 2 (01:13:29):
So they just take over this party. They change the
music she starts like walking around with trays with all
these fancy or dervs that honestly, this crowd is not
gonna want They've got eggnog, they've got cocktails. She is
the hostess. Now this is her party. Now it's like,
what is it? Armas said, I'm the captain now.

Speaker 4 (01:13:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
So again, if Jillian was anyone but Jillian, I'd feel
bad for her. But she's awful, So whatever, this is
not your party anymore. So she is dancing with these
snowplow guys who you know they and Derek's like, they
never dance, all right. So she's in the bathroom fixing
her lip glass, living her life, and Jillian comes in

(01:14:14):
and confronts her and she's like, I'm gonna be there
for Derek for the rest of his life. And Crystal goes,
whether he likes it or not, all right.

Speaker 4 (01:14:27):
So, but I mean that's like the pot kettle black,
isn't right. I mean, you're there whether he likes it
or no.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
You stalk your way into his life, all right. So
Derek is sitting outside on the front porch while the
party goes on inside. Crystal goes to sit with him,
and he's in kind of a bummer mood because they're
going to be locked out of the soup kitchen by Christmas.
It is official. But listen, he is super into Crystal.

(01:14:57):
He's kind of had it with Jillian and her nonsense
and her bedness, and so he starts to lean in
for a kiss, and Crystal realizes that she can't go
on with the deception any longer, and she starts to
tell him, but then a couple of drunkards come out
of the house and interrupt the kiss, and he's like, man,

(01:15:17):
I'm sorry, I need to go deal with this party.
It's starting to get a little crazy in there. And
he says because of you and Peek and everybody drunk.
And he's like, but do you want to go on
a date tomorrow night? And she's like, yeah, I do.
So things are looking up.

Speaker 4 (01:15:35):
But two days ago Derek was about to propose.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
To But the bad news is Crystal left her person
in the bathroom with Jillian, and for no reason whatsoever,
she brought the Dear Santa let her with her.

Speaker 4 (01:15:53):
I did she just bring it everywhere? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Good luck charm, it's a good luck charm. So she
left it in the bathroom unattended with her enemy, and
of course Jillian goes through a purse and finds it
like you do like you do well. Jillian totally would
go through a purse.

Speaker 4 (01:16:11):
She is a real bad Christmas sir.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
Yeah, I mean that's one hundred percent what she would do.
So the next day, Derek is there to pick her
up for the date Crystal thinks. So she goes down
in her elevator and her building. She's got a big
present with her. She's excited. She's like, whoa DateTime. Apparently
she never noticed that her purse was gone the whole time.
I don't know how I would notice. And Derek sitting

(01:16:37):
there with the letter, like, excuse me, Jillian was right,
You're a big lying lie of pants, lying pants. And
he's like, you know, for a while there, starting to
think that I could feel again like I felt when
I was in love with my wife. But I guess
I was just wrong, and she's like, oh, yeah about that. Sorry,

(01:16:57):
here's a present for Olivia.

Speaker 4 (01:17:00):
Bye. I don't know. It's like, I'm torn. I get it.
I get his disappointment and like this is a red flag.
But again, guy, I gotta go back to the fact
that you were about to propose to the world's worst woman,

(01:17:21):
just so you could say your daughter has a mom,
when your daughter clearly hates her, Like I don't know,
glasshouses and all that, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
Yeah, she was a full stalker though, and that's a problem.

Speaker 4 (01:17:37):
Okay, well, fair enough, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:17:39):
So she's upstairs moping and she gets a message from
her mom asking if she got their gift a little
bit extra this year because she's about to have her
allowance cut off. So she goes downstairs in her pajamas
to get the mail to see if there was a
Christmas present down there, and it's a check for ten
thousand dollars and she's like, well, I guess that's no fine.

Speaker 4 (01:18:02):
And I was like, even in twenty eleven, how far
does ten thousand dollars get you in New York? Like,
I'm sorry, mom and dad, but you've been supporting your
daughter for since she's ostensibly twenty two, let's say so,
for the last decade, and you and she is living
a very upper class lifestyle and you clearly have not

(01:18:24):
required anything of her. And then in the span of
two weeks you're going to be like you have two
weeks to like, get your life together and get a
job and be able to pay for this apartment, and
we'll give you a little extra moving. Ten thousand dollars
is probably not even going to cover the rent.

Speaker 2 (01:18:40):
If anyone listening wants to give me ten thousand dollars
for Christmas, I will be more grateful than Kira.

Speaker 4 (01:18:46):
I'm just saying. In New York, Amelia is Amelia Hammey
Amelia does not live. She doesn't understand because she doesn't
have to live in a simfully expensive area. So I
hear ten thousand dollars to me, that's not even a
week of expenses.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
I mean that does don't have to live there either.

Speaker 4 (01:19:08):
Oh are you? Oh my gosh, Now, who's the cruel
person here? Amelia?

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
You think, as we've learned from Christmas Land, you can
move to a small town and be absolutely happy.

Speaker 4 (01:19:22):
Once again, that venmo is Amelia Hammy. That's very true.
And there are a lot of hot widows and small towns.
This is established.

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
If you are a hot single dad with ten thousand.

Speaker 4 (01:19:35):
Dollars, the mom of a hot single dad, I'm going
to give you ten thousand dollars. The man isn't going
to give you ten thousand dollars. And if the man
does give you ten thousand dollars, then I have some questions.

Speaker 2 (01:19:51):
Okay, so ten thousand dollars.

Speaker 4 (01:19:54):
Anyway, it's ten thousand dollars. They're cutting her off. They're
giving her a check, which, by the way, I don't
know if you remember, that's actually the exact amount that
Derek owes, the.

Speaker 2 (01:20:05):
Exact amount of Derek goes. Yeah, all right, So back
at the soup kitchen, Derek is telling everyone that they
were going to be locked out exactly midnight Christmas, and yeah,
that's what they weren't entirely clear, but I think it's
Christmas Eve right now, I think.

Speaker 4 (01:20:21):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:20:25):
Olivia meanwhile is opening her present. Of course, it is
a skating costume that twirls and has a skirt.

Speaker 4 (01:20:30):
She's so excited she wants.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
To call Crystal right now. And Derek is like, we're
not friends anymore. And Olivia's like, you won't give anyone
a chance just because they stalked us and worked their
way into our family.

Speaker 4 (01:20:42):
I know that line too, came out of nowhere too,
because he was like, I'm sure he did give you
a chance, stranger. He's just about to propose to somebody
he hates.

Speaker 2 (01:20:55):
Crystal's wandering around window shopping again and she sees a
homeless lady and she's like, I don't know, Olivia has
mad at her dad. Everybody's fighting. The shelter is closed
because it must be twelve oh one. Now Crystal is
now okay. So Crystal, I thought this was super best Okay,

(01:21:19):
so she goes to talk. So she goes to the
shelter and is closed, but Frank is outside and she goes.
So she goes, if the shelter is open on Christmas
for Christmas dinner? Will you have dinner inside? And he's
on raw war raw, I don't go inside, And she goes,
but I'll make a bet with you. If it's open,

(01:21:40):
will you have dinner inside? Do we have a bet?
And I'm like, why are you asking the gambling addict
to make a bet with you?

Speaker 4 (01:21:47):
That's bested up? I? Uh, Crystal, well you know what, Look,
she doesn't have a lot of experience with this kind
of snaffvoll Gamera a past, but yeah, maybe you shouldn't
be gambling with the gambling attic that had such an
addiction that he's now homeless.

Speaker 2 (01:22:07):
I'm like, he's recovering, he's trying to do his best,
like to the extent that he.

Speaker 4 (01:22:11):
Won't even go inside anymore. Please.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
I know.

Speaker 4 (01:22:14):
I feel like the writers thought that was a cute
little callback, but I think it's dangerous, right.

Speaker 2 (01:22:20):
I was like, probably don't do that. So Derek, who
is also not a very emotionally healthy person, decides he's
going to propose to Jillian again.

Speaker 4 (01:22:36):
And nobody is okay in this movie the daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
So I wrote down. Derek decides he's going to propose
because there are only two women in the world and
he's on a deadline.

Speaker 4 (01:22:48):
You gotta get this downe by Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:22:51):
Yeah, and there's obviously the choices are Crystal and Jillian.

Speaker 4 (01:22:55):
And Crystal, it's New York City. Where are you going
to find an other eligible bachelorette in the pild right obviously.

Speaker 2 (01:23:05):
Yeah. So they get to the restaurant and Jillian goes,
I'm going to run to the loo, which made me
hate her even more, which I.

Speaker 4 (01:23:14):
Know, I was like, I hate you right now. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:23:17):
So I have no idea what happened at the dinner,
because suddenly he's putting her in the car and then
getting in his own car.

Speaker 4 (01:23:22):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:23:23):
So I'm like, I guess he didn't propose. I have
no idea what happened to the whole day you were
supposed to guess. I think that's what I realized, because
I was like.

Speaker 4 (01:23:30):
Just not know, Diddy, didn't he? Yeah, this movie that
has shown us probably a total of fifteen minutes of
people walking from their car to a house, walking from
their house to a car, they show us a lot
of details that we don't need to see. Doesn't want
to show us what happened dinner.

Speaker 2 (01:23:52):
I was like, I guess want we're supposed to. So
we had to know that she had to pee when
they got there.

Speaker 4 (01:23:57):
That was important. She had to go to the loo
so that he had a moment to actually reconsider this
second ill advised attempt at proposting.

Speaker 2 (01:24:11):
And they made a big deal that he had to
get the reservations three weeks in advance the first time,
So how to get this one?

Speaker 4 (01:24:16):
I don't know. Maybe he was planning on after she
says yes, then we'll do like a I'll make her
feel special by taking her to this fancy restaurant. Who knows? Okay,
so Crystal, maybe he has a whole series of restaurant
reservations for like, please I don't get to in case
I don't have the nerve this time. I got another

(01:24:37):
one in three weeks. And these days it seems like
everybody's talking, but no one is actually listening to the
things they're saying. Critical thinking isn't dead, but it's definitely
low on oxygen. Join me Kira Davis on Just Listen
to Yourself every week as we reason through issues big

(01:25:00):
and small, critique our own ideas, and learn to draw
our talking points all the way out to their logical conclusions.
Subscribe to Just Listen to Yourself with Kira Davis and
FCB Radio podcast on Apple, on Spotify, iHeart, or wherever
you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:25:16):
So Crystal is just sitting at the ice drink, pouting
and thinking, and Derek drives by the kitchen so he
can pout and think, and he sees the lights come on,
and he goes inside to see what in the world
is going on. And Pete is like he's feeling sassy,
and he goes someone paid the bill, someone who cares

(01:25:39):
about this place as much as you do. Someone who
you used to care about before you jump to conclusions.

Speaker 4 (01:25:46):
I know. I was like, what conclusions did he jump to? Pete?

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
It was you should got more, like you found out
what happened?

Speaker 4 (01:25:54):
Right? Also, I love how the lights come on and
then he's like, what's going on? And if there's just
this perfect march of people, as if they had all
just standing by the back door waiting to receive a
box of fresh vegetables. And he's like, Pete's like leading
the charge because again it's Christmas Eve and Pete doesn't
have anything. There's nothing fabulous going on in the gay

(01:26:17):
community on Christmas Eve. No, of course not and uh
not at not in New York City? Are you kidding me?
Not a thing? But he was he was like, you
jumped to conclusion, Like I don't think he jumped to conclusions.
But then he had a nice little thing about like, hey,
how'd you meet your wife?

Speaker 2 (01:26:37):
You know that's that analogy didn't really work either. He's like,
you met your wife in a football game. If you
hadn't been there, then you wouldn't have met, So it's fate,
just like if she hadn't found the letter, you wouldn't
have met. So it's also faint okay, but like you
didn't stalk her to the football game.

Speaker 4 (01:26:56):
True, Hey, we just got to get there. We got
to get there quicker. So he's got to do something.
You know, we're coming up in the end of the film,
so he's got to put the plot forward. So that
seems like a lazy writer technique. What would you have
said to him, knowing that he's got to go get
this girl?

Speaker 2 (01:27:15):
What would I don't know, because the whole plot line
is problematic because she was you.

Speaker 4 (01:27:20):
Live in holiday Land and you vacation in Christmas Land,
So what's your advice from Pete?

Speaker 2 (01:27:25):
I think I would have said, like, listen, I know
that she messed up with the whole stalking, but she's
a good person and you guys did fall in love.

Speaker 4 (01:27:32):
So just go talk to her. Brilliant, brilliant. Why didn't
they write that? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:27:38):
So anyway, through a series of events, Olivia and Derek
and Crystal all end up at the Wishing Tree and
Crystal is saying as Derek walks up, Crystal saying to
Olivia that she found the letter and she's like, I
was just walking and it floated into my path. And

(01:28:00):
Derek says, which is exactly how Santa planned it, and
they kiss, and there's a group hug, and then there's
then they all have dinner at the kitchen and Frank
came in because he lost a bet and now he's
a gambler again.

Speaker 4 (01:28:14):
Yeah the end, Frank ends up as a mathod too. Okay, Yeah.
I was like, first of all, they're taking the lord's
name and made way too casually in this film. And
second of all, now we've made Santa into Jesus. Now
Santa is a person like I just was like, yeah,

(01:28:36):
that's how Santa works. Like, no, that's how God works,
you irreligious pagans. You know what I feel about it.
I love Santa. I know this is our This is
a deep vote between a Millia and I parents who
might want to turn off turn it off spoilers. But

(01:28:58):
in the David's house, we don't do Santa Claus and
Melia finds that greatly offended. And the reasons we don't
do Santa it's because people it was credit Santa with
the works of God.

Speaker 2 (01:29:12):
I disagree with you. So overall I liked this movie,
but it was still it was not how I remember.

Speaker 4 (01:29:24):
I was watching it, going, what it's a million? What
does she have me watching this? Is like, I feel
like I've turned on a porno I feel I mean,
relatively speaking, Christmas Land, this was downright pornographic. I enjoyed it, though,

(01:29:45):
I mean, I definitely have fun watching it. I got
some cheesy laughs out of it, and then I also
got some genuine laughs out of it. I liked the
cast a lot. I think it's so cute that there
were no blonde people at all in the movie. I
think that's hilarious. But yeah, I enjoyed it. I had

(01:30:07):
fun that It's it's definitely not our Hallmark usual fair,
but it had some things to recommend it. And I
think if you want to sit down and and just
have a like a silly ninety minute, yeah, go ahead
and turn on. Yeah, I think you'll enjoy it. Yes, And.

Speaker 2 (01:30:30):
The calendar is going to get back into our more
usual fair after this.

Speaker 1 (01:30:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:30:36):
Yeah, Yeah, we're not. We're not. We're not renting an
expensive condo in holiday Land.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
We're from Christmas Land, but we are residents of Christmas Land.

Speaker 4 (01:30:48):
Yeah, but we're you worry, We're definitely doing the tourist
thing tropes. This is a harder movie to fit into
that because it's not the formula but there are there
were some. There were plenty of trope. I mean, there's
a precocious child, m h who was very good by
the way. I meant to look her up to see what.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
Oh, I like her a lot. I did look her up.

Speaker 4 (01:31:08):
She she hasn't been in much since that, no regular life.
I think she did.

Speaker 2 (01:31:15):
She was what's her name, Emma Duke, But when I
look her up on IMDb, she has not been in much.
She was in the show Heartland, which was a big
Canadian show, I believe, so she she wasn't that, and
it looks like she's been in that recently, so I
think maybe that's what she was into. She did some
la la loopsie back in the day. But you know

(01:31:39):
what I was intrigued on in the cast was there
was an uncredited character named Soup Kitchen Grizz.

Speaker 4 (01:31:48):
And I'm very intrigued by Soup Kitchen Grizz, who was
souper Kitchen Grizz. Okay, I'm very intrigued.

Speaker 2 (01:31:59):
But anyway, Olivia was adorable played by Emma Duke.

Speaker 4 (01:32:03):
She was great. I thought she did a great job.
Sometimes to get weird kids in these things, I mean,
child acting is hard.

Speaker 2 (01:32:11):
We had our I love the baking scene, but like
angry where they like baked at each other as an eye.

Speaker 4 (01:32:17):
I giggled, I did, I giggled. I enjoyed it. I
thought it was super funny. We had Christmas tree decorating.
Mm hmm. We had a deadline.

Speaker 2 (01:32:28):
We had Christmas deadline.

Speaker 4 (01:32:29):
Yeah, we had a situation that could have been explained
with just a simple conversation. We had a couple of those.

Speaker 2 (01:32:35):
Heck, yeah, we had we had well, we had I
guess we had a busy business woman. But it was
the like love interest competition lady sort of.

Speaker 4 (01:32:46):
Yeah. I don't think we get to Yeah. I don't
even know what she did. Is she a busy business woman?
Because she was a real, very domestic Oh okay, she's
a real Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
She was always like, oh you know, I close on
a house.

Speaker 4 (01:33:01):
Okay, of course you did. Jillian, my cousin's name is Jillian.
But she's really nice.

Speaker 2 (01:33:10):
And we do have a favorite. We do have a
favorite Canadian, Derek. Also, as long as.

Speaker 4 (01:33:13):
We're yeah, do we who's our Canadian? Don't we?

Speaker 2 (01:33:21):
What's your brother's name, Cody? Who's Derek? Don't we have
a Derek in the family?

Speaker 4 (01:33:27):
No, not me. Well, fine, I guess I made that up.

Speaker 2 (01:33:31):
I thought you had a cousin Derek or something.

Speaker 4 (01:33:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:33:33):
Fine, can you get a cousin Derek by next week?

Speaker 4 (01:33:36):
Probably? I was sure you had a cousin named Derek.
Everybody is named Derek where I come from, So there's something. No, No,
it's not me but I, but we but Gillian Wagner
we love right or Jill is a Gillian. Yeah, So anyways, yeah,

(01:33:57):
we had that, we had someone calling down, well, she fell.

Speaker 2 (01:34:02):
On the ice, but there wasn't like a there was
no catching, So I don't think that counts.

Speaker 4 (01:34:06):
Yeah, I don't think that counts either. Yeah, I guess.
I guess that's there's real not a real dress reveal moment.
I mean, she walks into the party, but it's not
a yeah coming down the stairs.

Speaker 2 (01:34:21):
I was like, Yeah, if you're not on the top
of the stairs, I don't feel like it counts so much.

Speaker 4 (01:34:25):
I agree. I think I think you have to be
on top of the stairs. There might be a very
few exceptions, but I'm trying to think of any movie
that we've watched with the dress reveal, and I don't
think there's been a single one where the dress reveal
wasn't on the stairs. Yeah I don't think so. Yeah, right,

(01:34:46):
all right.

Speaker 2 (01:34:46):
The next movie we are going to watch is Absolute
Christmas Land A Princess for Christmas. It's an Hallmark one
from several years ago, and the male love interest is
played by Sam Ewan from Outlander.

Speaker 4 (01:35:00):
Ah yay, I want him.

Speaker 2 (01:35:05):
Yeah, And I rewatched it a few years ago. I
was like, hey, is so familiar, but it's like it's
so not Jamie Frasery that it like it took me
a while to be like, oh dude, okay, like it
took me a minute.

Speaker 4 (01:35:22):
I'm excited to go watch this now. I do really
love him, and you would be a great Hallmark guy.
This is a good one. You're gonna love it. Okay.
What's it called again? Is called A Princess for Christmas?

Speaker 1 (01:35:33):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (01:35:34):
Oh I wonder what it's about.

Speaker 2 (01:35:37):
Yes, I can't spoil it for you.

Speaker 4 (01:35:40):
Don't spoil it. Let me come, let me come to
this fresh. I want to encourage everyone to subscribe to
the podcast of course, and that that's really helpful and
to share and what else. I feel like I had
something else that I just like share all that rate

(01:36:02):
review like share. We went through the tropes. The movie
is Dear Santa. I think worth your watch if you're
like us and you watch Hallmark for the same reason,
so we watch Hallmark. I think you'll enjoy it. So
thanks for recommending this, Amelia. I now I need to
go to church to cleanse my Oh my goodness, my ears.

(01:36:25):
A plowing comment is still ringing in my ears. I
don't have anything else to say. Everybody, make sure you
watch it Princess for Christmas so you can enjoy this podcast.
We'll catch you next time, Amelia. Until we meet again,
I wish you days filled with friendly gambling addicts who

(01:36:48):
want to live in the street and just want to
give you good advice.

Speaker 2 (01:36:52):
I wish you the feeling of relief when you don't
propose to a woman you hate.

Speaker 4 (01:36:57):
Thank you, Merry Christmas, Amelia Kira. This has been a
presentation of the FCB podcast network, where Real Talk Lives.

Speaker 3 (01:37:17):
Visit us online at Fcbpodcasts dot com.

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Ep. 39 - Jillian Is a Real B

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 39 - Jillian Is a Real B