Daddy Daughter Trip (Rob Schneider)

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Rob Schnight, is it s somewhatpopular? Comedic actor? Shocks are like
dogs, They're only life when youtouch the private pat I think there's been
a mistake. Did you say stage? They went together like flam on tummafish
chlaustrophobia. It's the gayest of allphotios. You can do it, keep
hop keep popping. Almost my lifesocks read it pg JD The Tomster making

(00:28):
Coffy, Mister Tom. Welcome toRob Schneider. Could you not a complete
retrospective of all Rob Schneider movies pastpresent but still somehow future. I'm Robert
Bacon, and with me as alwaysare my co hosts, Marie Maloney Caleb
George. We're watching Daddy Dot atrip released in Scottsdale, Arizona, on

(00:52):
September twenty seventh, twenty twenty two. But then to the rest of us
peons, we got it streaming onDecember fifth, twenty three. Why did
Scott? Yeah, Arizona, thatis where Rob Schneider currently lives. Oh
wow, that makes a lot ofsense. His local multiplex is like,

(01:17):
you know, us going to likea comedy theater and being like, hey,
can we just put up like aone night show. Sure, go
right ahead. You have to payfor everything, Okay, it's fine.
Oh my god. This is directedby Rob Schneider, written by Patricia Maya
Schneider, his wife, and itstars Rob Schneider and his daughter Miranda Schneider.

(01:40):
So he had full creative control,full creative control. Rob Rob robbyist.
You want the most Rob. Wesaw the real Rob. We saw
all about Rob or whatever the otherone was called. You know, we
saw him as an animal. Nowwe get to see him Rob. Rob

(02:02):
is the director? Is he's comingback? Now? He's not the animation
director. There's a separate animation director. And there is another writing credit on
top of his wife's writing credit.Okay, but I think this is going
to be Max Rob Rob unleash.Yeah, and we get the little Rob

(02:23):
too. Yeah, we get allthe Robs and a little Rob too.
Real quick before we get into theshow, make sure to check out our
Instagram account. Lots of great stuffup there, lots of Shabba doos you
could check out. We've already gottensome great comments from the last podcast.
I posted a picture of Caleb Georgenext to the man that the animation studio

(02:44):
clearly ripped off. Of Caleb andone of our comments is from Davin Thompson.
He says, you can't post thesame picture side and it's so true
when you're looking at them. Andthen I posted a question asking about Paul
Blart Mall Cops ass or the Ladiesass in Leo which one was thicker?

(03:07):
Mellow Meadows says it really is toHoliday Hams and a loose bag, and
Bramble sixty eight says that's just animatedKevin James. They do look so much
alike. This one doesn't have aMuzta wild Yeah, so make sure to
check that out. Some great stuffon there. Thanks for commenting. The

(03:27):
plot of this movie, a springbreak trip with a series of unfortunate adventures,
is saved when the duo meet acouple of famous travel bloggers. Oh
my god, kill me, killme with the plot of this movie.
What's the plot? Oh my god? Traveled blog but it's so okay,
hold me here, we go here, Let me say this again, let

(03:50):
me decipher this. Okay, Aspring break trip with a series of unfortunate
adventures is saved when the duo meeta couple of famous travel bloggers. Who's
the duo that would be Rob Schneiderand Little Rob Robbist Schneiders. Yeah,
this is very bad copy. That'sreally so confusing, very confusing facts about

(04:15):
this movie. The whole Schneider familyappears for el King. Do we know
that? Do we know that?Though we don't know that, do we
know she's not? Do you feellike she doesn't associate with his bad ship?
You know, We'll just watch itsee if we could point them out.
I have the answers right here.I got the answer key. Oh,

(04:35):
so you know whether I know who'sin this and who is which of
the what if Schnyder and which isa famous travel blogger? That's her entrance.
I'm gonna ship I'm a travel blogger. H Miranda Schneider also appears in

(05:03):
the Real Rob and has no speakingparts because she's a baby, and one
of our Instagram followers, Aries zerozero eight three pointed it out, Hey,
it's the baby Bacon said was uselessin the Real Rob episode. Rob's
hair cut is not in their fuel. So apparently I said this baby was

(05:23):
worthless and now she's in the moviecalled a baby. I need the context
there, but you were probably right. Yeah, I stand by it.
You know, I double down doublewith us. Yeah, she did this
movie. Yeah, yeah, whatcan we say? We thank god?
Oh my god. This is filmedin Arizona. This is from the IMDb,

(05:46):
So again I don't know if theseare one hundred true. As we
found out later, this is filmedin Arizona out of Rob Schneider's desire to
honor his hometown community. No,no, okay, no, he just
didn't want to tell he didn't wantto travel. We weren't go anywhere you
want to afford to go down exactly. He's not gonna go on location shoot

(06:09):
for this ship. Like he's gonnado it as close to would have gone
to Bam. I really wanted tohonor my hometown Scottsdale, so you know,
instead of going to the Canadian Rockiesor I don't know You're or I
don't know Fiji. We just knowwe want to honor my home. Yeah.

(06:33):
We tried to shoot on location inthe Swiss Alps, but after Vienna
turned us down, we just decided, you know what, it's either Secretary
or Scottsdale, Scottsdale or maybe MountFuji. Yeah, one of the two.
It'll be whoever returns my email.Yes, So when I was doing
research on this, I read anarticle from MovieWeb dot com where they interviewed

(06:54):
Rob and first of all, itis a puff piece. I'm pretty sure
Rob wrote the whole thing and thenjust sent it to him. They asked
him quote because like, why wouldyou even ask this question? They asked
him what he would like to seemore of in Hollywood these days? Oh,
and I gotta know what, Rob, Yeah, you want to hear?
What else is? He says?It needs to be less self conscious

(07:17):
and braver. There have been somereally funny movies. Seth Rogan made a
couple of really funny movies that standout. Borat was one of the greatest
and funniest things ever made. Youjust want to hold up to great movies
like that. With daddy daughter Tripp, I wanted to make an Italian movie
that was a major laugh. Idon't know if that is a misprint or
a mistaken Italian movie. I thinkit might be like a fan It's supposed

(07:39):
to say a family movie, butit says I wanted to make an Italian
movie that was That's what it says. This is like He's like on the
website, I just want to takeafter great directors like Fellini. Is that
what he's saying. I don't knowwhat he's saying. What I think that
is his godfather Part four. Iwanted to make an Italian movie that was
a major laugh. I'm pretty surethat's just a misprint in there, to

(08:00):
be like family, and one thatwas really touching. I wanted to make
a film the entire family could seewith not one bad word in it,
not one bad word. Nope,interesting priorities. They asked him what he
was up to, and he said, so this is we're all just catching
up with Rob right now is catchingup with Rob Corner. And they asked

(08:20):
him what he's up to, andhe says, I'm working on a book
for the first time about free speechin America. And I just want to
point out how funny it is thata man who could just go to his
local multiplex and force them to putup this movie thinks that he needs to
teach us about free speech. Theman who has a platform that he did
not deserve, a man who hasa movie filled with his family that he

(08:43):
just made, is saying, oh, you know what, someone's quieting him.
Somebody's stomming saying what he wants tosay, most recent stand up special
is called Soy Sauce and the Holocaust. Well, no, his latest one
is Woke. We didn't watch rightprevious previous stand up special. So anyway,

(09:05):
he goes on, and I havea movie called Dead Wrong, a
thriller that is coming out. AndI got a new movie with Adam Sandler
and Bill burr Leo that he wasin, remember we heard that. And
then there's this movie for Paramount Pluscalled Amore s Amour, which is Spanish.
For the first time ever, Itried to act in another language.

(09:26):
I directed that and my wife wroteit. Again, this man silenced on
from many countries, he's been silent. Yeah, I'm absolutely gobsmacked. I'm
shocked. I'm scared of him speakingSpanish, directing and starring in a Spanish
language film. We have to watchit. We have to watch it.

(09:46):
You know what, though, he'sright, he's right, he's right,
he's right. You know why becausehe put up his movie in Scottsdale,
Arizona, right, played in amovie theater. Yeah, then what happened?
It didn't get played anywhere else.And you're not going to sit there
and tell me that once you getit out there that like wide wildfire.

(10:07):
Yeah, people will want to seeit. Yeah and know and and the
only way people wouldn't because the movieis incredible obviously, is if there is
some sort of i'll say deep stateconspiracy to prevent him from getting this out
here. Now you guys can't seethis. Caleb does have a tinfoil hat

(10:28):
on. It is a big likestovetop. I worked a long time.
Yeah, it's a nice hat,Yeah, really nice. Yeah. I
looked exactly like the tin Men's Wizardof Oz in London. Yes, that's
a the leon and the I don'thave a hot Unfortunately, the sko croll

(11:00):
que up as we walked down theyellow brick road. We don't want to
watch this movie. We're stalling.We're stallings. Movies have like the biggest
interest. Oh my gosh. Sowe're just gonna, like, you know
what, We're just gonna sit down, watch this Schneider joint and just envelop
the whole movie and then we'll comeback. Each of us has a stop

(11:22):
card that we could use at anypoint if there's absolutely something that we need
to add on it. What arethe odds a stop card gets called I'm
well he did say that there's nota bad word in it, but so
it can't be too raunchy. Idon't need bad words. Aren't gonna get
me a stop card? Yeah,if I hear one fuck stop card,
I can't watch this fucking filthy nonsense. You know what, I can do

(11:45):
it, and I will. Ithink I will. I'm gonna go back.
And I want to know the stopcard ratio for different Like do stop
cards get called more? Kevin Jameslike, what do you who do you
think has gotten the most? Ithas to be per movie too exactly,
get that down. I don't know. Rob Schneider does have a lot of
stop cards. I mean that's whatI'm thinking. I mean, penis nosed

(12:07):
woman. Yeah, yeah, facegot a boat, a job. Yeah,
you know what, I wouldn't besurprised if we had to stop once,
yeah, average once. I'm gonnasay once for this one. I'm
gonna say we're gonna stop the movieswe think are going to be bad always
like surprise us, like Pinocchio.We have so many stop cards. Yeah,

(12:31):
yeah, we were. We madeit a two parterre and I was
really shocked that that was the onethat was the that we became a Pinocchio
podcast that I still have you tosee the because I've seen it so many
times. YE see it from everyangle, the best one, and I
need the best one. I needto watch. It's beautiful. I think

(12:54):
I ranked all the Pinocchio's on letterboxstuff, so I need to watch it
is beautiful. It's a wonderful film. Again, we are stalling you,
guys, ready to watch Daddy DaughterTrip move Over. I just got kicked
off my couch. I gotta warnyou. I fart in my sleep.

(13:16):
I can sleep through anything a lot. H m hmm, yeahm mm hmmm

(13:37):
mm hmmmm mm hmmm mm hmmm,h m hm m m m yeah,

(14:16):
mm hmmm mm hmm. Stop card. Caleb has officially thrown a stop card.

(14:41):
Caleb has made the hand motion fora stop card. Oh oh,
oh my god, Oh my god, Caleb, could you explain what what's
happening? What the fuck is happening? Oh my god? Was it actually

(15:03):
terms the car? It actually incredible. Actually we're actually laughing at this movie.
Something happened, something like a fartjoke. I've never seen a fart
joke. I've never seen a partjoke. Tank and just keep taking and
then all of it's amazing. Thenall of a sudden it's like, oh

(15:26):
wait, wait, wait, waitthat was all for just set up.
I completely agree. I've never seena part joke do that. Wow.
Okay, sorry, okay, Sothere's a lot that I'm gonna try and
be as the syncs as I can. And if you can't follow, it's

(15:48):
not your phone. Yeah, Butbasically Rob is staying with someone. I'm
not quite sure it's someone who gothim a job earlier in the film,
because he's an uber driver delivery personand and they have no money and they
live in We will talk about youcan't talk about it anymore later, but
just to give you context. Idon't know why there's I don't know why

(16:08):
there whose house this is? Anyway, he's staying at someone's house. The
house the person he's staying with thisis like got an intense energy to her,
and she's kind of like a littlebit of masculine energy, like a
little bit of like weirdo kind ofenergy. Anyway, Rob Schneider's kid is
like, I'm come sleep with me, mommy. So Rob Schneider's wife gets

(16:29):
up to sleep there and then theyapparently take this house owner's couch spot or
whatever. So she goes to stayin the in the bed with Rob.
So it's a lot to get tothat. Yeah, sorry, just to
get to Rob is in bed witha random Platonically, Yes, it's still
weird. But then she's like,I fart in my sleep lot A lot,

(16:52):
I do, but I mean alot. Yeah, and then it
is no lie four five minutes afar thin sounds oh, and it is
we hated. Every moment I thinkit is. It's either brilliant or it
is the best accident that can Therewere several choices that I legitimately appreciated if
you're trying to draw this out,Like, for instance, there's all the

(17:15):
it's every fart, you can imagine, every every different kind. They went
on, sound effects downloaded every far's. I'll talk about my favorite think about
do you think of a noise?It's there, It's incredible, it's incredible.

(17:37):
But my favorite part about it isit goes on for a long time
time. And also at this pointwe're pissed. We're pretty up listeners.
You need to understand that we're Iam, I am not enjoying myself at
this point. And that's when itThat's when I knew this film had us.

(18:02):
One of my favorite moments is thatit goes up for a long time,
all the different parts. Then itcuts away and I'm like, oh,
thank god, it's over. Andthen the sound of farting over this
like kind of like establishing shot.Yes, the house, right back in,
right back into farts. You thinkwe're out, You're like, okay,

(18:22):
great, nope, right we're stillfarting. Oh god, okay,
tablishing shot. So farts for days. Then Rob gets up. As he
gets up, so fart fart farts, he goes He's like, I can't
deal with this anymore. So helike goes in the kitchen and sits down,
and there's a hound dog in thekitchen, in the hound dog's bed,

(18:44):
and I was immediately like, I'vethat dog as the fart dog has
to fart. But the fart thatcame was like a gaping asshole fart.
Do you know what I'm talking Likethis, Yeah, I'm going in just
like the other hands in the otherend, but but imagine that coming out

(19:15):
of its asshole. Yes, AndI fucking lost my goddamn mine. And
that is when we could not keepit together. That's when I called stop
card because I was like, thatis too fucking good. Never, never
have I ever watched a movie andflipped so quickly, truly from hating its

(19:37):
guts, like truly, this filmis so boring. Then it goes into
like terribly it's awful, and thenit's like fart jokes and we're like,
well, I knew we were gonnaget here eventually, but then it totally
fucking won being like we're gonna makea We're not sweet swear, we're not

(20:07):
going to base ourselves. No,no, we have a dog with an
open asshole in the film. That'snot dirty, it's funny. I just
want to make a movie where everyonein the family can laugh at it.

(20:30):
An eight long minute. It's likethese stock sound effects for all the human
parts from when they went to dog. They're like, we gotta do fully
on this. We gotta get thereal sound out of beans. He loves.
Give us some pepperoni, he loves. Oh man, this room's gonna

(20:52):
stink, but we are making Rubymake some cheese in there. He's going
off. Someone get a camera,get a boom mic next to the dogs.
Ain't it? It's real? Quiet, good one, Good one,
and the winner of the Award forBest Sound Effects This year at the Academy,

(21:17):
Wars goes to Dundy Day Trip orwhatever the trip day trip. I'd
like to thank my Oh my god, wow, I'm crying. Oh my
god, what a great wow.I think I was gonna wow. Wow.

(21:38):
Usually there's some sort of you know, like heads up to these,
and this one came out of nowhere. Thank god. I've never had a
joke I've hated so much become oneof my favorite. It's just the choice
of that specific fart with the dog. I was like, that's brilliant.
You know, it's like hearing theAristocrats, but for fart jokes, it
really is. I think I needto see it again, knowing what I

(22:07):
know now, I need to goback. Well, audience, you've heard
it. So that's what I playedbefore this. Oh my god, are
you guys ready to Well, we'llgo back. We'll watch a little bit
more of it. And so we'readding more run, we're adding more more
runtime, we're adding more I wouldrather watch that eight minutes ten times,
nine times, in the rest ofthe minute, in the rest of the

(22:30):
how many times? Oh my god, is this another thing I have to
let's just do that. I dolike, yeah, ten hours of this
fart joke. You know what's thepodcast where they watched like it was like
they watched grown Ups every single weekendor grown Ups two and they hadn't seen
grown Ups one and that was thewhole bit, and they watched it every
week. If the podcast just becameus watching this eight minutes every week some

(22:52):
what do you guys want to talkabout? Well? I want to rank
the toots today. Top five tootstop im we counted, there's seventy eight
toots. Seventy eight toots. Marieis going to announce her top five.
Finally, thank you for tuning inlast week where we went from six through
ten. Oh my god. Yeah, and of course all top five are

(23:18):
from the Dog God Dog Fart.I guess I ready to watch this.
Yes, let's celebrate. Thank you, honey, cheers. Huh. This
is the biggest Trouble magazine ever.Congrats, whatever is going on? Good

(23:40):
champagne. Let me open it.I've always wanted to dry this, go
for it. We do you servethis to success? Gone? Stop con't

(24:15):
no, my god? All right, I had another stop card Oh my
god, Bacon, Okay, Beaconstanding right now, he's standing and panting.

(24:37):
We all just lost our minds.Oh my god, I saw a
man's thumb going to soup. Itnever reminded me of a scene and Deuced
Bigelow too, coming into soup.And I know what's happening next, Caleb.
I know that someone's gonna eat andwe haven't even gotten to the thumb

(24:59):
eating. But right you know it'son the worst screens. I'm gonna have
to share this on our Instagram.I'm gonna have to share this. I'm
going to react the screenshot when whenlike I don't want to do something,

(25:19):
it's like a cut off them upjust like sure it looks like grab on.
That's strong. A lot has happened. We can't talk about it.
Also, it doesn't matter. Thismovie is so fucking bad. Well,
we finally meet the travel bloggers.Yeah, we meet the travel blogger like
fifty minutes. Yeah, unfortunately fiftyfive zero minutes. And these one of

(25:45):
these travel bloggers has never opened upa bottle of wine before. I don't
know how that's even possible, andU or bottle of champagne. Sorry.
Also, she clearly looks in hermid forties. Yes, per context.
Yes. And also there's sub titleswhen there doesn't need to be subtitles.
They say like champagne, and thenbelow it has champagne. Please. I'm

(26:07):
like, are you out of yourmind? Yeah? Perfect, perfect,
Like they translate everything like this wouldbe Michael. Anyway, she's never opened
up champagne. She picks up thebiggest knife from the table, not a
saber like normally you used to openchampagne like that. I think it's like
a dagger. It looks like alarge it's just like a large steak knife

(26:32):
for the for the Tomahawk's stakes.Wow. Anyway, she takes this big
bad boy out and I'm like,no, no one can get it happens
so fast, you know, We'rejust like this movie is just making me
bored and angry and like and thenall of a sudden, this woman picks
up a big, large knife andshe just quickly swipes it and quickly I

(26:56):
see a thumb from a man's handfly across the room and land into a
soup. I stood up. Isaid no, no, I said do
stop stop no, I said no. And now we're frozen on the most
screenshot. I don't even know ifI can put this on Instagram, but

(27:18):
we I feel like we have tolet it play out and see all right,
I'm gonna keep recording and have ourlive reaction time. We are at
uh. I went to the nextk in one hour, six minutes and
six starn it concerning now I'm stopstop stop it my god. No no

(28:18):
no, no no no, no, no, no no no. They
washed it for context. They washedhis thumb one hour in eighteen seconds.
I have to say that was prettyThat thumb was kind of realistic looking.
That was That was the best partof the movie. It was very well

(28:41):
done. They had the same personwho did Hereditary to do it. You
know, good Rick Baker. Ifthey don't do a hitchhiking joke, I'm
gonna be really mad man with thisstuff. You know they're going to wait,
They're also to be there's going tobe a joke about him not being

(29:03):
able to wipe his ass. Ipromise. But because it's a oh yeah,
yeah, this is for kids andthe thumbs detaching and going into soup
film. He really did the PGversion of Coming Soup, didn't he He
really recycled. He really recycled thebit. He recycled the joke, and

(29:26):
we were so close. I guessI didn't. We didn't say they did
not eat the thumb. He didn't. Oh, it was so it was
on her spoon. She was raisingit to her because now induced bigelow European
gig. He eats it, heatshe goes in for seconds. That's right,
I know goes. I haven't evenseen all the A top but you

(29:52):
know I've seen all the Schneiders.Yeah, oh my god, do you
think of all the movies we won'twatch because we're watching this instead? Yeah?
No, Here I am watching aman's thumb come clean off and going
to sup God, and I saton it too. God, I'm sorry.
I have to say while we're onthis still, I've never seen a
little boy in silks. He lookslike rich. I've seen like little girls

(30:15):
and pajamas. He's like dressed likean old man. Yes, the old
man pajama set very strange. Areyou guys ready to watch more of that?
We've used two staff cards just tothe other one, and that one,
i'd say had multiple stop cards.When his thumb came off, when
the blood came out of his thumbwhen the soup was almost so many stop

(30:38):
cards, the washing of the thumb, the washing of the washing in a
glass. Are you going to say, Marie, I'm holding onto mine.
Well, I had to use thatone. You were so angered by it
through paper, your reactions the rawYeah, no, no, stop and

(31:03):
we know it's so angry because youknow exactly what's gonna happen. As soon
as the soup. I couldn't handlethat. You saw the thumb fly through
the air. All us were justlike it followed the thumb. This is
just the evolution of an artist.That's what this is. He's learning and

(31:27):
growing, he's trying new things.He's doing something this time. I won't
use com that's what rhymes. Willcome thumb. Let's go with that.

(31:48):
Let me take the bomb. Well, we already have eighty four butt jokes
and what else. It doesn't workunless it rhymes. It needs to becoming
bomb. That's me yea. Somecould we use? Can we use together?

(32:10):
Or are we really or are wereally committed to the family? Could
double? Are we with the family? We can go hard, we can
really push sensors and we shall makeit a family drum No, I say
we cut a thumb for the kidsto the kids. Remember that's the compromise.

(32:35):
Let's get let's get back to finishing. Hopefully. I don't know too
much. We're only an hour andseven. We still have a half an
hour. All right, all right, let's enjoy ourselves. Can I see
those? These are excellent? Soyou come up with all this? Well,

(33:01):
I didn't tell stories that I drawthem. We're a story telling team.
Oh my god. I think otherchildren absolutely love your stories and drawings.
I hope. So I'm going tobe a cartoonist when I grow up.

(33:22):
Well, Mara, I can't promiseanything, but the woman we work
for runs a book publishing company.We're meeting her tomorrow on her plane,
and I think she might like this. Who knows what could happen? Really,
that would be a nicer retic.I love that word. Hey,

(33:49):
everybody take that back again? Nokeeping that in. We have returned.
We just finished after two staff cards, we are now back for the whole
shebang. Yeah. I did notuse my stop card, I know,
but we ended up basically doing exactlywhat we would have done. Yeah.
The movie forced us for pretty muchright around the half hour mark. Yeah,

(34:15):
yeah, yeah, Yeah, sowe watched the whole damn thing,
and I gotta say, fucking guilty, Rob Schneider, Man, I forgot,
you know, you really forget howbad he can make a goddamn film.

(34:35):
He's so good at it, Wow, Like you cannot even First of
all, can we just talk abouthis wife is not a writer? Horrible,
it's ndously so bad, awful bad. And the fact that someone helped
with that. I assume that theother person has writing credits for me,

(35:00):
be writing the animated parts. Hmmm, because it doesn't really seem like anybody
else wrote this. Uh, itseems there's weird animated. Schneider wrote the
animated parts. Those stories were terrible, animation was beautiful, stories were terrible,
and they did. Yes, Iguess just want to go over all

(35:23):
the notes. Yeah, what what? This movie is very odd? And
I think I need a review ofthe plots, yes, just to remember
what the fuck I watch? Yes, so what happened here? So?
Rob Schneider is a loser asshole whosomehow thinks bagging grocerees is beneath him,
but running Uber and food delivery andall these other things isn't for some reason,

(35:49):
and he's really bad at it.He's awful at it. He's like
the worst. Yeah, and that'skind of the problem. He doesn't have
a lot of money. His wife, she's just a cat at the local.
Yeah. And they have to leavetheir house because they realized that they
both don't have enough income to ownthis huge, massive house together. Did
they own it? I don't knowa rent or rent? Yea. I

(36:12):
think they got kicked out. Theygot kicked out immediately, six hundred and
two dollars in their bank account.And Rob Schneider basically got scammed out of
it by John John That genuinely gaveme a jump scare what I was gonna
say. He looks like the myPillow guy. He does look exactly like

(36:34):
the My Pillow guy. He isdressed like the my pillow guy. Yeah,
John Clee, John Clees, Ohpoor John, Clease, buddy home
man. I mean, Rob Schneiderlooks horrendous in this film. John looks
like he's dead. I don't understandthe wig. Oh yeah, there's either
one of them, either one ofthem. There's no reason for oh yeah,

(36:54):
this whole film. Rob Schneider hasthe worst wig on and the it's
his hair, it's the worst.No, you can stop job. You
can see the wig line? Doeshe just have a natural wig line?
Even natural? I couldn't see thewig line. I just like Rob Schneider's
tricked out of his last six hundreddollars from John Cleace and a wig because
he has a an invention idea calledhu the hula poop poop, which is

(37:20):
literally a hula hoop with a showercurt around it, around it poop poop,
poop poop. I like poop ploopbetter bo already better yeah, way
better, way better. Hey,come on down to the poop poop poop?
Do you want to take a poopin running a mass? Are you

(37:52):
tired of pooping? Normally? Trythe poop poop? Way more fun pooping
for their friends, pop grandma,poop in front of your teachers. It's
poop poop poo. It's a betteridea, it is it is. You

(38:12):
came up with that, brilliant.It's almost like you're a better writer than
wife. We are all everyone inthis room, even Marrick Cheese is a
better writer. But do any ofus have a writer's credit? Not on
movies. Rob Schneider's wife's got awriting. She gets that, she's got

(38:40):
that, she got it, gotthat going, Oh my god, So
he swindled out of that. Hisdaughter at school is jealous that everybody has
spring break plans but she doesn't becausethey're poor and they're kicked out of their
house. But she still is reallyworried about that aspect of things, and
it makes Rob Schneider feel bad.So then he decides to try to take

(39:04):
her on an epic spring break thatis like, instead of going swimming or
to a water park, they gothrough a car wash. Well, they
went in like fed birds because thenwe saw el King. Oh yeah,
oh yeah, yeah, they wentto we saw el King. And apparently
her fiance is in this as well. Was that her fiance? Yeah,

(39:27):
that guy. You missed a reallyimportant part of the plot eight minutes apart.
Yeah, there was eight minutes offarts. You didn't mentioned that.
Sorry, I forgot that there wasanything important about Anyway, none of it
works out, and they he endedup Rob Schneider freaks out and he ended
up getting a sign from God ora newspaper saying that he should go to

(39:52):
the spa, and then he likebasically crashes the spa because he doesn't have
a place to stay, befriends someof the pe people staying at the spa.
They are travel bloggers, and thenwhat they run him over with their
car on accident on accident, Sothey become friends with him at first because
they don't want him to sue them, because a major pine is at everyone

(40:13):
in America sues each other. Oh, yes, from each other country,
yeah, Mexico and Spain in Spain, so they're like, oh, Americans
will sue anybody, so they haveto be friends with them. They do
become friends, but not really becausein like one scene they're like, we
gotta get away, it doesn't makeany sense. Then they cut off his
thumb accidentally. They still don't reallylike him even though they do like him,

(40:37):
and then they realize that they doalso. By the way, the
entire time this is happening, RobSchneider's daughter is basically a savant for children's
books and drawing, and she makesthe best children's book in the history of
God. And these famous vloggers alsohappen to know a book publisher and they

(40:59):
need to show the book publisher herdrawings. Am I saying everything that's in
the park, Yeah, children's storiesthat are simple, fucking, stupid,
little anecdotes that she just makes upoff the top of her head are so
brilliant. The amount of times thatwe have to watch these animated shorts that
are in this film, which,by the way, the style of the

(41:22):
animation is amazing, it's really great, but the stories don't go anywhere,
and they're really so bad. Yeah, and it's just annoying, and it
pads out this movie that it honestlyfelt like we watched four hours it was
and we stopped twice. It's awesome. There was two amazing moments that changed
my life forever. I do wantthat to be some It's so annoying when

(41:44):
a film treats its audience like weirdfucking idiots. Yeah, and they're the
idiots. There was zero effort thatwent into making the kids stories even remotely
good, so them being like dumbfoundedby it just so bad. It would
be like if you were a badwriter and you put in a bad story

(42:05):
that you thought was so amazing,that would blow. There's no way people
think that those little stories that RobShire's wife think they things those stories are
incredible, but they they they thereis a way because they every single time
talk about how awesome the stories are. They say it, say these stories
are amazing, that they're amazing,So that's why they're amazing. Yeah.

(42:30):
It's almost like you can write anythingand just make your characters believe it.
And they kept doing these dumb likeGod, every single time. It was
like the two kids together on awindowsill or something. Yes, and they
and then they just as soon asI saw these two kids together, it's
like if I fucking hear a fuckingstory and this is a story, and

(42:52):
I'm like God, every time youcome out of the story, it's like,
WHOA, Wow, that was agreat, bad story. That story
changed my mind. I think wego together like peas and carrots. You
and ship my pain. Oh mygod, somebody ship my own pants?
Are Are you huffing your mom's?It doesn't smell like her anymore? But

(43:20):
this was my dead mom scarf andI huff it. I just huff into
the scarf and see if I canget one metal. We're weird that he
is just like the nephew, notwhy why child? His mother dying has
nothing to do with anything. That'spart of the movie too, You guys,
Remember, I think that's all actorhad to say that they died in

(43:44):
the Oh my god, they wereso mean because he's clearly spying. English
is a second language, and theygive him the worst. He's like Spanish
and they give him the worst.Tongue twister. It's like something up in
the mountains. They died in theAppalachian Mountains and it kept going, kept
going out. They died in theAppalachian Mountains in Pennsylvania next to a we

(44:06):
squirrel, and I was like,Jesus Christ, give this guy an easier
line. Oh my god, whatan awful film. Can I remind you
guys that there was a Canes atthe Raising Canes. I haven't known about
the ras and we were far awayfrom that. Then I wrote down Worthless

(44:29):
Baby, which is the first timethat Rob Schneider's daughter showed up on screen.
And you know what, I'm gonnago ahead and stick with my original
assessment from the real Rob. Thisgirl should not be on screen. I
can't understand her, she can't act. It's really bad. And it's very

(44:51):
clear that Rob and his wife hadher at like like child modeling, because
there were times when they were filmingher where she'd say her line, and
then she'd like hit model posts yeah, and then just like look like just
past the camera and it's like okay, so she's just delivering a line and
then being like beautiful model. It'svery creepy. It's creepy. It's weird,

(45:14):
it's off putting. It's so weirdthat Adam Sandler made you are so
not invited to my bot mitzvah forhis daughters and then had to try to
do this bullshit. And it's clearthat his one daughter it shouldn't be on
a TV screen. I'm sorry,she should not. She should not.
She is not ready to be puton TV. Yeah. Or if I'm

(45:37):
gonna say she made I don't know. I don't really see that she has
it. Also, I say shegot it from her dad. She doesn't
have it. She doesn't. Let'spassed down fucking right place at right time,
Rob Schneider. If this proves anything, it's that Rob Schneider is just
a benefit of circumstances. She doesn'thave to beat the jeans on that way.

(45:59):
Yeah, it doesn't have it.No, I wish you're the best.
I would say. Rob Schneider isalways just talking shit about people with
working class jobs, Like, howmany times do we watch Rob Schneider stuff
and he's just like, oh thatjob ooh awful. Oh don't like that.
Oh, don't like it. Seemslike so much of his movies just

(46:19):
shitting on people with jobs. Yeah, the very people that watch his movies.
Yes, yes, right, Andit's just like, fuck off,
dude. It's like, you're solucky, you'd be lucky to working at
it. Remember the last one wewatched he hated that. He was eventually
figured out that he hated selling cars. He was sales salesman. Yeah,
and it's just chosen one. Itwas all about that, and it's like,

(46:40):
fuck off, Rob Schneider, You'renot good at making movies at all.
By the way, Rob Schneider's characteris an inventor. Oh, he's
really bad. He's a really badinventor. And it's really only in the
first twenty minutes of the film andthen it's kind of dropped and then we
find out when he talks to JohnCleees this, uh, you know,
poop curtain. Do you call itCaleb poo poo poo poop? Better name

(47:04):
trademark poop poop. Don't try todon't try to we already got it trademark.
He asks, how do I geta patent? Yeah, you're an
inventor. You don't know how toget a patent? That is, you
don't think that's important. Truly astounding. Has he watched Shark Tank once?
No? No, he is makingfans spoons with fans on them, and

(47:27):
then basically just hands. That wouldhave made a more interesting story if he's
an inventor that's always trying to geton sharp. Yes, of course,
Oh my god, I'd watched that. But he's like a shitty pee wee.
Herman invented the light of the RubeGoldberg machine esque, just a hand
in a table. We got totalk about the robot hand that he invented.

(47:50):
First of all, apparently he inventeda robot hand, Like that's just
insane, like engineer, Okay,at the you're not an inventor, you're
full on engineer. But it's it'sI was hoping for the reveal of it.
It's just Dave Dominator didn't have thatrealistic of her hand. You guys,

(48:12):
better than Sky in it, comeon, no way, no way,
no ways better than oh yeah thatone. Everyone remembers Terminator too,
gets back to breathe I wrote downhe's George Washington himself. Oh yeah,

(48:39):
ro is trying to make a bunchof money, so he keeps going back
to blood donating and getting paid.And I don't think you get money from
donating blood. It's donating plasma.It's plasma plasma mostly but okay, anyway,
it doesn't matter. So he's gettingmoney for donating blood, and he
keeps going out and getting dumber anddumber costumes like a fucking Impress jokers.

(49:00):
Yes, yes, And it's alsohow many times have I seen this joke
of like I wonder I should givemore blood than I should? Up all
makes me all dizzy, baldi downy. And then I said, he's George
Washington himself. I feel like youbrought it up before. Oh really just
in general, yeah, rought maybemaybe not on the mic. Yeah,

(49:20):
we've definitely talked about we probably changedWashington give me too much blood? Yeah,
well, George Washington it was bloodletting. Yeah, he got pneumonia,
and then different doctors kept coming andbeing like, what's wrong with him?
And every doctor who came and said, well, first thing we got
to do is take a pint ofblood. Out about yeah, because that's
it's bad blood. So then theykept being like, oh, get another
doctor, and the doctors didn't talkto each other, so they just pulled

(49:43):
a bunch of blood out of them. Health Care in America, it hasn't
changed since the country started. Andthen I wrote down Caleb turns to us
and says, we're not leaving Scottsdale, are we? We were so far
in this movie, and it waslike, when are we leaving Scottsdale.

(50:06):
We went to every corner of Scottsdale, Arizona, and we did not leave
the state. I said it beforeoff recording. I'll say it now.
Scottsdale is a character. I thinkit's farewell done by Rob to make it
apart. It's a part of thestory and I have itself. Yeah,
that's what enough tour does. Afar tour, a far toward poop poops,

(50:37):
far towards. Oh, the fartour is present the far tour.
Do you remember the scene where hegot a sandwich and there wasn't enough meat,
so then he asked for more meat, and then there was too much
meat for something. He asked formore bread, and then there was too
much bread, so then he askedfor another plate. Yep, and that's
how he scammed a small business owner, a food truck owner. Yeah,

(51:01):
running his own little small business kindof a sandwich. But that was a
really smart scene. I think,you know, like it was really well.
It was like, what is thisscene saying? And I think they'll
be debating about what that scene meantfor the next hundred years, you know,
Caleb, I think you're right.I think this isn't our tour.
It's far to it. It's afar tour. I am just going to
say this no context. I founda bag of shoes. I also wrote

(51:30):
down, I've found a bag ofshoes. Shoe. There's a hobo in
the background, and it was areally funny line. Yeah, lines daughter
to a drive in theater, buthe parks like a mile away in like
a homeless encampment basically to watch it. And there's a homeless encampment in the
middle of nowhere. It feels likeit's in the middle of a soccer field.

(51:52):
Yeah, and they just put acouple of Yeah, but the soccer
fields like in the middle of thedesert. Yeah. I also wrote down,
UFOs can confirmed. This movie confirmsUFO shows up they're looking at the
sky and they're just like, anyway, anyway, I love you, to
the stars, to the stars,behind that summer, into another galaxy and

(52:17):
outside the galaxy next to again ofexistence we haven't discovered yet and back.
How does Rob Schneider not have anychemistry with his own daughters? Wild?
It's crazy? You know why,she's a fucking dud. I'll say it
now, get her off the fuckingscreen. It's awful, awful, Oh

(52:42):
my god, especially when you compareit to like Adam Sandler when he was
doing you know, you're so noninvited in I yes, and like and
like, you know, there's likegenuinely funny moments where you're like, oh,
that felt really real. And thenyou see this ship and you're like,
this is the most for time.Do you care about your daughter at
all? Do you feel like itbecause it feels like you are a suck

(53:07):
at this? No? Yeah,it doesn't even look like they had fun
filming this. No. I alsowrote down is this an allegory for Rob
and l King? Because the wholethat was very insightful. Rob Schneider is
an awful inventor. Awful inventor hasn'tinvented anything worth anything, but the entire
movie, his daughter is like asavant for drawing, and every time somebody

(53:30):
looks at one of her drawings,they like cream their pants. They're like,
oh my god, this is thebest drawing I've ever seen this,
Butterfly, I can't believe that brilliant, amazing put this and that anytime somebody

(53:50):
sees that, anytime someone sees anythingthat Rob Schneider invented, they're like,
well, this is fucking trash.Yeah yeah. And for some reason,
at the end of the movie,she gives up on her dream because he
gave up on his. But heshould have gave up on his because he
sucks and she's good. So isthat what the movie's trying to say was
a bad inventor, Because in theend John Clee shows up, Oh yeah,

(54:14):
sold his product, the poop Poohpoopo pla poopoop, but the poop
poop is way better already knocked off. In the end, he got twenty
five thousand dollars for inventing the pooppoop or the hula poop. Yeah,
out of nowhere. At the endof the movie, John Clee shows up
and just gives him a check.It's so lazy stupid. Also, Michael

(54:36):
bou Blaze shows up. Yes,So the only reason why he was named
boot Blade the entire movie is becausethey were able to get Boo Blaye to
record himself on his phone. Yeah, Michael blue Bay didn't show up.
He did. Adah. I betthat l King actually has a relationship with
Michael Booblez and as a favor,got him to make this cameo in her

(55:00):
dad's film. And for that theywere like, will honor Michael quote unquote
honor Michael Blay by naming our charactersafter him, and we'll write like we'll
add some like little jokes and likeit'll be so funny when he shows up
at the end of the movie.I think that was the line of thinking.

(55:21):
I think that was more thinking thanthey put into it. I think
Michael Blay got duped. He gotabsolutely twodwinked, swindled to be in this
movie. I think it was acameo paid for like five hundred dollars that
he didn't know it was actually goingto be in a film. And that's
what took it so long to finallycome out. My god, that's it.
Yeah, that's it. I wrotea couple of weird things. I

(55:43):
wrote this one. No amount ofhorns can make me enthusiastic at this car
wash scene. They were just hornsin the music with the music so so
bad, like so, but Ialso did not want to skip over the
tinman. It didn't then happen.We saw ten men. At one point,

(56:04):
Rob Schneider is being like a whatdo you call street performer? Street
performer? Yeah, and just streetperformer of the night, sorry, street
performer of the night sorry. Inten like he's like pretending to be a
statue. Yeah you know those statuesguy. Yeah, and he got seven
nicols. Yeah, he got nothingand definitely didn't pay for the suit and

(56:27):
the makeup. Yeah, mostly becausehe's in Scottsdale, Arizona, and there's
no foot traffic. Traffic busy enoughat It was also like doing it in
an office park, clearly, likeyou're trying to go at lunch and there's
a ten minute outside there's two softwareengineers just standing there staring at him.
Pretty much wraps yeah, yeah,truly. Yeah, we only get twenty

(56:47):
minutes for lunch. Key cards aroundthere the scene. Other than that,
I wrote Jim Jefferies is in this. Oh yeah, j Jeffres bizarre.
So Jim Jefferies and Rob Schneider justhave to friends, right because he just
shows up randomly. I don't knowat this point it has to be a
favor because it's not integrity. Yeah, you know, like this is a

(57:09):
directed DVD, fucking Rob Schnider movie. Yeah, it's like two downgrades.
Yeah, yeah, a film,Marie, what do you have? I
barely have any notes. So myonly note after doesn't know how to get
a patent. I mean I disassociatedfor a while pretty much during every story

(57:30):
scene. I just left, justfully left, left the building, left
my brain. But my only noteafter that is, you didn't have to
break her heart? Yeah, AdamSandler's wife not good. No, you
didn't have to break her heart?Why did it? Like it started in

(57:52):
the kitchen scene when she's like,just don't break her heart. Yeah,
children know not to write like that. Yeah, it's written so poorly.
I understand that Rob Schneiders or thatAdam Sandler's wife couldn't. That's a really
difficult line to perform. Well,but she didn't help it. I'll say
that she's not a good actress,but It's also just like, why why
are you treating the audience like this? She's one of my top actors in

(58:15):
my letter box. Robin is themost watched actor in my letter Wow.
Real, Yes, that's for real. Wow, that's sad Adam Sandler.
Rob, Like, yeah, soyou have more Robs than Adam Sandler.
I do because you've watched Oh yeah, that makes every Rob. Speaking of

(58:38):
which, Caleb, do you haveyour list? We have to rank it
these Rob Schneider's. I do believeI have a letterboxed list. I have
an I m dB, But Ido I have a letterbox list. You
do have an I m dB.I think I might move over to the
letterbox. I like the letter box. Letterbox is a fun one. You

(58:59):
guys to follow either of us onthere. The links will be in the
show notes. Now I'm looking atthis. It's definitely below Surf Ninjas.
I'll tell you that all this isworse than Home Team. This is worse
than Norm of the North. Butthis is better than Big Stan, which
is another film that's all Rob Schneiderbased. So I'm gonna slot this one

(59:22):
in at It's gonna be my newnumber eleven below Norm of the North and
above Big Stan. So my bottomtwo have stayed the same, the Chosen
One and then the worst is InappropriateComedy, and my top two, my
top three rob Schneiders from three toone are Ducepigelow Male Jiglow Knockoff, and

(59:45):
then Duce Bigelo European Jiglo number one. Interesting, all of them, none
of which I've I've only given DuspigelowEuropean Jiglo one star. That's the highest
I've ranked. Wow, they're allhalf a star. I hate can go

(01:00:07):
lower than half a star? No, I wish I could. I wish
I could give zero. Yeah,the next lowest would be you didn't watch
it, gotcha? Okay? Yeah? Well I think I gave this big
a little two stars or maybe twoand a half stars. Okay, okay,
I will double check that. Butmy list so I slided also eleven.
Okay, so we both agree thatit's down there. It's down there

(01:00:30):
better than two films I really hated, Big Stand Chosen One was horrendously bad,
and Inappropriate Comedy is one of theworst movies I've ever seen in my
life. So it's above those two. But then it changes for you and
me because I really didn't like HomeTeam at all. Three are below yours
below my three below your big Stand, the Chosen One in inappropriate comedy,

(01:00:52):
That's what I have. Yeah,and that's how it goes, big Stand,
the Chosen One, and then inappropriatecomedy. Yeah, okay, those
are the same. So yeah,what are your top three? Douce Bigelo,
Male, Jigglo, Deuce Bigelow,European Gigalo, Judge, Dread,
Judge Shred. I have Judge Shredat five. I don't know why.
I've judged above the Animal and thehot Shot, okay, and then I

(01:01:13):
have Knockoff, then Norma the NorthBenchwarmer, Surf Ninja's Home Team got it?
Ours are pretty similar? Yeah?Pretty similar? I mean, I
guess when you're judging this kind ofart, that's just what happens, you
know, I will say so.For next upcoming films for Rob Schneider,
Dead Wrong is the movie. Itsays it's completed, but I can't find

(01:01:34):
the release date or any info aboutDead Wrong. Do we think it's gonna
come out? I have it saysit should. I don't know. I
didn't think Daddy Daughter Trip was evergonna come out, and we finally got
it. I mean have we beenyeah, hearing this, hearing about it
internet also, So maybe it'll beout in twenty twenty five or late twenty
twenty four. A more s Amore, I might be saying that wrong

(01:01:55):
because it's Spanish. Oh that's theSpanish. It's a post for and it's
scheduled for a twenty twenty four release. Then there's the movie Pledge Trip,
which I feel like we've been talkingabout forever, that is still in pre
production Adam Sandler. So the nextfilm that we do have up on the
list is an Adam Sandler film thatdoes come out March first, twenty twenty

(01:02:17):
four, on Netflix. It's entitledSpaceman, and the synopsis is an orphaned
as a young boy and raised inthe Czech countryside by his grandparents, Jacob
overcomes his odds to become the country'sfirst astronaut. Really excited about this one.
We might have three good Adam Sandlerfilms in a row. It's an

(01:02:40):
embarrassment of riches. It's over herenow. The Rob Schneiders have still just
been going down and down right,They're never gonna stop. Yeah. The
Kevin James is still the same.Yep, Adam Sandler's really turned around.
I feel like if he if herounds out his career with like just being
like, you know what, I'vedecided I'm a beer really like Peter Sellers
did, and she's like, I'mjust going to be a really good actor.

(01:03:02):
I would love that for this,I would love that. Wait,
but then our podcast will achieve itsmission of getting him to stop making bad
movies because we've been on a littlebit of odds. The best hot streak
that we've ever achieved is this working. Yeah, he definitely listened. He

(01:03:22):
listened, he took notes. He'slike, it's only been how long are
we doing this? Like six years? Seven years? In seven years?
And finally, I think impressive.I don't think he's listening, but I
think maybe someone gave some feedback andhe took it. He's obviously similar to
our mission, Yeah, to gethim to stop making bad movie. Probably.

(01:03:45):
Well, we all hope that it'sgood. I think we're all really
excited for yeah and that stuff.What do we say, Rob Schneider,
could you not Oh? Yeah,it's definitely Rob schneerh yeah, definitely.
You guys want to say, yeah, Rob Schneider could not. We are
talking about Daddy Daughter trip. Youget to play with your own daughter in
this film, Miranda, who playsMira, and take her on an adventure

(01:04:11):
while making out with one of yourbest friend's wives in Jackie Sandler. I
wouldn't say making out. I thinkthere's one kiss in the movie. It's
a family affair, you know.I get to work with my best friend's
wife, Adam Sandler's wife, Jackie, and she's terrific in the film.
And I got to work with mycomedic hero, John Clees, and I
got to write this with my othercomedic hero, my wife Patricia, and

(01:04:33):
I got to work with my daughters. All three of them are in the
movie. So that was pretty special. And the star of the movies is
Miranda. It was just lovely inthe picture. I mean, she's just
a natural, you know. Imean, if I didn't know that show
business was so horrible for children,I'd have her do it full time.

(01:05:00):
Hmmm, No long

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