You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
But wrap your minds around this.Gentlemen call, we come close. Deal.
I hate cards and I hate allyour sisters. Give each other a
kiss and makeup. Man, theguys thought about it's not funny to guy
and he's help nice is wrong,bitch, I care you don't like me.

(00:24):
I explode. I award you nopoints and may God have mercy on
your soul. Welcome to Adam Sandler. Please stop. A retrospective of all
Adam Sandler movies past, present,and unfortunately future. I'm Robert Bacon and
with me as always are my cohosts Marie Maloney in Caleb Jorge, we
are watching. You are so notinvited to my bot mitzvah. Released August

(00:49):
twenty five, twenty twenty three,direct to Netflix, starring Sunny Sandler,
Sadie Sandler, Jackie Sandler, andAdam Sandler. You gave him the last
billing, last billing he is,He's last bill and a Dina Manzell Benzel.

(01:11):
I only I only recognize Sandlers inthis film. Everybody else's like a
ghost to me? Is it DinaManzel in this film? Just because she
did uncut gems with Sandler? Thatis where they think that is where they
became friends. But they are legitimate. They are legit friends. Yeah.
So now she's in it, She'sgoing to be in fifty one first dates.

(01:33):
Oh man, that's gonna be fun. Turn it into a musical.
Before we get started, a lotof people reached out about the Shabba Doo
tournament, about a joke that wemade in the last one saying you should
you should put all together the bestshabba dous. So many people and I
think we should do it. Andyou know, and if it doesn't come
to fruition, it doesn't, butI think we should give it a try.

(01:55):
At least. Yeah, after thiswe won't have any content, so
at least into leo. Yeah,yeah, you know what you should make
the audience do some work. Giveus your favorite chabad, suggest your favorite
what are your what are some chabadudes? Should we should be scouting?
And if you're like, what's achabadu? It's I'd say it's any sound
that Adam Sandler or a baby makes. Yes, I would say good places

(02:20):
to look. If you're like,where do I even begin our Billy Madison,
sure, little Nikki, Happy Gilmore. I would even count wedding singers
yeah, I forgot the like soand so and so and so are our
newly weds, the KFC guy gettinghit by a football and water boy,

(02:46):
that's a shabad. I think that'sa shamba. Do any kind of noise?
Yeah, water boys, Yeah forsure. You know when at first
I thought we couldn't do this,and now I am like absolutely sitting there
and us all right, So ifyou have one that you like, let
us know. Email us at AdamSandler please stop at gmail dot com.

(03:07):
We actually got a few emails thatwill be reading at the end of this
episode. Also, if you couldput like, hey, it's at one
hour and thirteen minutes in this movie, that's a great chev time stance would
be great. Or if you havelike a YouTube clip, yes exactly,
Adam Sandler, please stop at gmaildot com. Send in your favorite show
I love. We threw this outand I did not know until you mentioned

(03:30):
it right before we started. Iwas like, that's right. We did
say we would do that. Wedid throw that out as some idea.
We were very excited about it.If I can remember great well. Super
fan Matt Kelly is re listening toall our old episodes of the Friend of
the show. He's got a bunchof awesome podcasts. One of them is
a Weird Algorithms where they review everyweird ol song and that one is awesome.

(03:53):
Definitely check that one out. Sohe's going through and he's telling me
like key Milestone, and he evensaid that we said in an Adam Sandler
please stop episode, like a jokeabout like, well unless we start moving
over to Kevin James or Rob Schneidermovies. Ha ha, And then that
came to be. Yeah, hebrought up Marie's surprise birthday party at A

(04:15):
Col's. I forgot about. OhI remember that. Yeah you said it
was the saddest thing you've ever heardin your life. Yeah yeah, tell
it again, real, yeah,tell it again. When I was sixteen
years old, my parents through asurprise birthday party for me and a Cols

(04:46):
and it was so bizarre. Mybirthday is in December, it's two weeks
before Christmas. My dad got methere by saying we were like shopping for
gifts from my mom and I waslike, oh, that's pathetic. We're
going to Col's gift It's like asophomore in school and be like, Okay,
you suck at gifting, Like we'regoing to coals, and I was
like wearing absolute trash, just likea disgusting hoodie and jeans. What you

(05:12):
wear to coals? What you wearto coals because you've lost all like respect
for yourself when you're walking into acoals in like you know, two thousand
four or three. Peoples and mywhile we were there, start having friends
like walk up to me and belike, oh, what are you doing

(05:35):
those coals? And like I wentto a Catholic school And I only mentioned
that because like people from my highschool were from like really far away,
sometimes from like my hometown like ahalf hour forty five minutes away, and
people would be like, Oh,I'm just shopping, and I'm like,
you live, there's closer the coals. It's the burbs, like you know

(06:01):
where the coals are shopper, Like, why are you in the New Lennox
coals? Like, let's like thirtyfive minutes away from you, there's two
other coals nearby. Uh. Andmy parents thought it was hilarious. They're
like it's so funny. She likedoesn't get that they're there for her.
And I'm like, why would Ithink one that these people are there for

(06:25):
me and too that you would throwme a party in a coals So all
that is to say, super bizarre. Wait wait wait wait, that's not
the end of it. Yeah,and then like what happened? Did it
culminated in the Yeah, it culminatedin like like cowarming, culminated in like

(06:46):
all of them gathering together and beinglike surprised, and I was still confusing.
They're like happy birthday, and Iwas like, in a coals,
here's a mixer. And then itturned out like my parents ordered pizzas and
like we went back to their house, but like why why wasn't it just
at that house? Right? Idon't know. It's so bizarre, Like

(07:12):
honestly, if you ask them,I don't think they have a defense for
it. But they're still like thatwas the funniest fucking thing. Like,
to be fair, it is funny, and it's like I don't think it's
funny in the way pathetic. Yeah, it's like anti comedy. Right,
I don't know that they were thinking, No, I don't think. I
don't. I don't know, butyeah, they still defended. They're like

(07:36):
it was yeah, they defended therewas a sale that weekend. Yeah,
when you press them on it,they really don't have a good reason.
I think it went back to theirplace for refreshments. Also, like my
my brother, my youngest brother hasbeen living with my parents for a couple

(07:59):
of months. He's about to moveto Chicago. But he was saying,
he's like, I found that Momand Dad, I have been using this
like popcorn maker, the stir CrazyMaker that's like twenty five years old,
and there's been paint chips, andso I think their brains are a little
uh paint chippy from popcorn chippy fromfrom two many years of stir crazy popcorn.

(08:24):
Oh my god. He's like,yeah, I had to throw out
their popcorn machines. They've been eatingpage chips. We should have bought a
new one when you were at thecold if only we knew back then they
were eating tiny paint chip. Ithink I've heard that story like three times
now, and it's still it's bizarre. Like you, I forget the details,

(08:50):
That's what I re remember the details, and I still every time go,
what the fuck is it a plotsynopsis? We will watch this movie.
We even talked we're gonna talk.Well, we're just gonna get two
stops. I'm jealous that this thatthe protagonist in this movie gets a bat

(09:11):
mitzvah and I just got like afucking yeah. I assume came of Cole's
cash come down Plotsonopsis of this moviethat we will talk about. Stacy and
Lydia are BFFs who've always dreamt abouthaving an epic bat mitzvah, but things

(09:31):
start to go comedically awry when thepopular boy and middle school drama threatens their
friendship and their right of passage.Facts about this movie. It is based
on a two thousand and five youngadult novel of the same name. This
is Adam Sandler's first feature film tobe directed by a woman since Billy Madison

(09:52):
Really Yeah Billy mated by Yeah.I did not know that. Another fact
we talked about this briefly. AdamSandlers wife is played by Indina Menzel.
She also played his wife and UncutGems. And this was filmed in Toronto,
Canada for the tax cuts probably texts, probably tax cuts, whatever it

(10:13):
was. Caleb, are you excitedabout this? Are you? I am
very open to it? Am Iexcited? I don't know, but I
am open to it. Is thatis that fair? That's fair. Yeah,
but I was excited about the lastone we watched and it kind of
was not great. It was okay, So I even the best of Sandler

(10:33):
films, I'm like, I amopen to it, okay. Unless it's
like Safty Brothers or some dramatic vehicle, I'm usually like, yeah, let's
see. But I'm not thinking I'mgonna hate this one. I hope to
love it. I always hope tolove it. Yeah. We always go
in trying hoping. You know.Some of them were like, oh that
we know, you know you're goingin this one, don't know, open

(10:54):
open to it format. We're goingto watch the movie together, stop at
every thirty minutes to discuss it.So far are each of us has a
stop card that we could use topause the movie before that thirty minutes is
up, just in case there's somethingthat we need to talk about, anything
else before we start watching this.Bad Boy, bad Girl you mean,

(11:15):
oh yeah, bad ladies, youngwomen becoming women, neo babies. Yeah,
I am shocked. Adam Sandler's wifeis not playing Adam Sandler's wife.
I guess that role is too hard. Yeah, it's you have to actually
be a good actor. Sometimes.But what movie did we just see with

(11:37):
her that she was acting? Shewas a cake maker, was a planner.
All right, let's watch you AreSo Not Invited to My bot mitzvah.
All across the world and maybe eversince the beginning of time, different
cultures have different ways of celebrating akid coming of h There's the King Sinera,

(12:00):
There's Sweet sixteen. There's also somethingcalled land diving. My dad told
me that in the Brazilian Amazon there'sthis thing called a bullet ant initiation where
fire ant squawl all over your handsand bites you. And if you can
handle the pain, you're ready tobe a man. I told him.
If he thinks that sounds bad,try being a girl in middle school.

(12:24):
We have watched the first half hourof You're So Not Invited to My Bot
mitzvah. And I'm so excited totalk about this movie. Yeah, why
are you excited? I'm having agreat time. I'm having an amazing time.
I think I am too. Yeah, I think I'm really enjoying it,

(12:48):
you know, loving it, Ireally am. I will say,
I haven't had this much fun watchingan Adam Sandler movie in a long time,
not to say that it's the bestone that I've seen in forever or
whatever. But you know what it'sit's having fun with itself. It's moving
along, it's not getting caught upin itself. Very clever and very cute.
Let's talk about the first minute,minute of a minute and a half

(13:13):
of the movie, where it's givinglike the montage of like these rights of
passage for everyone, like the worldover. Ye that is giving me the
beginning of Mean Girls. Oh,it's very much the voiceover of Lindsay Lohan.
She's like talking about like going tohigh school and the rituals around that

(13:35):
and like acquating it to being inthe jungle in Africa. Yea. And
this little speech at the beginning islike very much giving me that. And
it's it's cheesy. It's cheesy forsure, making you called out like multiple
lines that she said before she evensaid that I was able to be like,
well try being a teenage Yes,yes, but it's okay because that's

(14:00):
what this movie. It knows whatit is. I think it is actually
doing a wonderful dance between fantasizing pubertyin the way that you view every moment
is as is heightened importance and coolestand you have to be this and then
immediately switching to how stupid or dumbit is, like both signifying importance,

(14:20):
but like it's not that shouldn't betaken that seriously. It's I think it's
actually really well done. It's doingit a great job of being like,
hey, there's weight to this,yes, but there's no but it doesn't
matter because also they don't even likewhy do we care about these ultra privileged
child right, you know, likethere's no stakes. Who cares. It's

(14:43):
like, oh my god, ifmy bot mitzvah isn't the best in the
world, blah blah blah. Andthey've already set it up to be like
even if it's not, it's notgoing to be that big of a deal.
So the movie knows it's not serious. Yes, it also clips a
joke. Wise, it's such agood pace that it doesn't sit in anything,
and so even if the joke doesn'ttotally land, it's already onto the

(15:05):
next one. And I and soyou're I think it's really well paced and
really well like everything's tight, everythingis clean, it's it's really knows how
to just keep moving along. Howmany times do we watch these Adam Sandler
movies and they just sit in thescene forever. They're so staggered. Everyone

(15:26):
just stays there and then it endson like a long fart joke, right,
and then it doesn't. It comesback and there's some more and it's
like, oh my god, thismovie doesn't do any every everything in an
Am Sandler family is just like twoshot, one shot, three shot,
two shot, one shot, oneshot, three shot, Like it just
it's just so stagnant. This movesevery There's transitions are nice, Yeah,

(15:46):
great, there's never a moment wherethere's not music. Music is doing a
lot of heavy lifting, it is, but it goes from song to song
to song to song. They mixover each other. Yeah. But to
your point about the like the movementand the clip of everything, it's even
fun for the camera to follow SadieSandler, which I'm just not I'm not

(16:07):
even going to use her character name, don't remember. It's fun to watch
the camera follow Sadie through their fuckingcool Toronto house. Yeah, it's just
refreshingly in the family dynamics, Yes, so good, nice and warm and
fuzzy, put like fun and real. It's grounded in some like realism,

(16:33):
and it's really playing into the AdamSandler's like breadbasket here of just like I
don't even think he had to memorizeany lines. I think he's just reacting
are saying totally, he has noneof his lines have any effect on anything.
He's just kind of sitting there commentingand having But you know what,
though this has the Adam Sandler appealof it looks like he cares about this

(16:56):
one. Yes, because his daughtersare in it. He's dressed up,
the shirt, can't phone, he'sin front of his daughter, he can't
be unprofessionally. He wants this tobe he wants this to be the launch
engine for her. Yeah, heabsolutely does that. He needs to show
a reason. I'm sure he's veryproud of her, but also like if
she's a huge hit, my company'shuge. Yeah, we'll make four more

(17:18):
of these things. And we've learnedon this one. If Adam Sandler goes
to wardrobe, the movie is usuallypretty good. Yeah, man so,
and it still has hints of whathe likes to wear. Totally totally but
still very Adam Sandler. But nowhe's laying out in his box yeah,
but he's not wearing Bulls basketball shortsto and that's huge. So I can't

(17:44):
believe we're celebrating that. But that'swhat kind of podcast this is. Wait,
quick sidebar while we're on that.There's been a lot of TikTok's this
summer about Sandler Girls summer where it'sjust like it's just like women wearing really
huge basketball shirts shorts and like uglystained shorts or just like cargo shorts.

(18:10):
You sent it to me. Cargoshorts are big hats that are don't fit
you properly. I saw Boston Bruins. Yes, it's and then it's it's
he wears the same outfit as likea Hollywood movie star, as like somebody
who shops at Walmart in like Mississippi, like you know, like it's the
same outfit. Yeah, it's likea sixth grader who just learned how to

(18:33):
dress himself. And that's what he'sgoing. Yeah, that's what he speaking
of what people are wearing. Though. The main love interest in this do
we know the boy's name? I'mgoing to baby Jack Harlow, oh Andy
Goldfarb Andy and Baby Goldfarb the BabyJack Harlow to me. He's wearing a
shirt in this the shirt that Ihave in middle school, and it's blowing

(18:59):
my mind that now it's all comingfull circle. Oh my god, it
is. He's wearing a shirt thatit's a black shirt, but it has
like the universe on it. There'slike a sun up here and then it
goes through all the planets. Shutup. Love that shirt. I really
love that shirt all the time.I'm pretty sure one of my like I
think my sixth grade photo, I'mwearing that shirt. I'm gonna find this,

(19:22):
you've got it. That's amazing.Also, I love that this movie,
like I believe that these girls arefifteen about to turn sixteen. And
and Andy Goldfarb too, like theylook on percent looks like a fifteen year
old. Everyone's babies. Yes,And it's like it's very refreshing to watch

(19:44):
a movie where the characters are thelike appropriate age because usually, like even
mean girls a movie that I love, they're all way older, yes,
and high school students. Yeah.I think, what's her face? Mega
famous McAdams, Rachel McAdams. Shewas very she was much older. I
think she was like twenty eight yearsold. It's like something snificant I mean,

(20:07):
when you watch that movie, shedoesn't stick out. I feel like
she fits in amongst the cast totally. But again, they all are so
much old, so much older.So watching this and it's like, wow,
they're all they are. That alsoreally helps the Hey, there's no
mistakes in this. Yeah, it'ssweet and I like it that you could
you could have. You know,such young actors be kind of boring or

(20:29):
bad on screen, and they're reallynot. They're at least at a very
competent level. Sadie Sandler's good.She is, she is actors child.
The child actors are really good.They are. They're really not bad.
Now can we maybe not understand theoldest Sandler? Can't? I don't know
what she's saying. Sometimes we're gonnaneed you to repeat what you said when

(20:55):
we were watching it in the moment, we're gonna need a repeat of that
one. So which is which one'sthe oldest Sandler? Sonny Sonny? Sandler
has a bunch of lines and Calebgoes, is it mean I can't understand
her? And I'm like, well, she sort of has almost a lisp.

(21:18):
And then Marie said, would yousay right? Oh? I said,
her teeth are too large for herface. Yeah, and then I
said, oh, that's what wecall in the business having horse teeth.
And as someone with horse teeth,I could say, you have to use

(21:40):
your jaw more when you talk,and you have to use other parts of
your voice to help other people understandyou, because if you talk like I
don't know, like an Irish person, they never moved their goddamn jaws.
Right. If you have these horseteeth, they block all the sound.
They don't fit truly, Like oneline she said I heard, I understood

(22:07):
like every third word. Yes,we're not how do we say it like
we're not making fun? It's anobservation, but truly, every single one
of her teeth is the size ofa chick lit That's just a full chick

(22:29):
litreace. And what's really bizarre whenyou think about teeth, there's there's square
ones, yeh, there's like yourcanines, those are pointier ones. She
really achieved something that I've never seenwhere they're all chicklet There's not a lot

(22:52):
of shape variation. It's just chicklit. It is until it gets to
like molers. But you can't see, well, are we sure? Adam
Sandler and not Gary Busey, butalso she looks every fucking bit of Adam
Sandlers, and Sadie looks every fuckingbit of her mom. Yeah, and

(23:12):
you know what, that's tough.That's tough. A lot of times you
see people and you're like, oh, I see exactly, like what you
get from your mom, what youget from your dad. And with this,
it's like, no, it waspretty clear. Split down the gene

(23:33):
pools, it's pretty clear why theywaited for the thirteen age to pass on
the first one and then they gotthey got the younger one in the book,
you know. Yeah, that's allI'm speculating, not here, but
right, maybe they let it goa few years before they made the movie

(23:56):
and they know who the better actoris. Oh yeah, the two of
them. Yeah, for sure.I do have another note here that says
a grown up set and it can'tbe because Grownups was filmed in New England,
for sure. Yeah, Grown Upswas filmed in New England. We
know, do we know if theycould have gone there's a part like around

(24:18):
thirty minutes into the movie, thisis right, We're like, at twenty
eight minutes we paused it and itlooks so much like the buckethead scene from
Grown Ups where Kevin James has abucket of chicken on his head and he's
walking. Come on, everyone knowswhat I'm talking about, right, It's
an iconic scene. Yeah, wherethey where they jump where he jumps off
the they jump in naked? Yes, and then their clothes gets stolen.

(24:41):
Do we look glossy eyed? Becausethat's the way we feel any well?
Talk about It's also like a tropefrom many movies where people's clothes get stolen.
No, I was just saying it. Then I realized, like,
oh, I don't know why I'mexplaining it. Everyone knows this. Yeah,
this is just common not yeah chickenbuggethead. You know, it's like
knowing in Paul Blart two that theykill his mom, Like that's that's standard

(25:06):
knowledge. Everyone knows. Public startsout with they kill his mom, a
very main character in the person,and then they go to Las Vegas.
Everyone knows that. You know that, you know the t Rex scene from
Jurassic Park, and you know Flashything from Men in Black. Those are
the three main movie things you knowPublic to every episode. It just shocks

(25:29):
me how you two are absolute expertsin anything happy man. You know more
about this subject than any human beings. And I'm like, and I'm like,
it is it is? I knowthat Cliff, I know that Cliff

(25:52):
anywhere any what am I talking?What about? Building? Human being says
these things truly? But also I'mso convinced I'm gonna look up if they
went to the same growing up itslocation, Like, you can't convince me
it's not the same clip. Ohmy god, you know would be the
best Well, it's going to haveto be a stop card. Is if

(26:12):
there is a take off your clothes, jump in the water, clothes get
stolen? Oh my god, Ihope not. This movie seems clever for
that. It's too clever for that, and it's not written by Yeah,
so let's fingers crossed. Over allwe're all saying like we're not having a
bad time for the first time ina long time. Notes, Oh,

(26:34):
we're ahead. Yes, that's wherethere's no way we're getting out of this
fucking excited to talk to talk aboutDJ Schmooley. Shuli, Oh is it
Shuli? Is it Shmooley? OhSchmooley, I don't know. My wife's
not here. She could have translatedwe've seen DJ Shooli before. Yes,

(26:56):
we fucking because I knew it wellfor I thought it was Adam doing a
bit, but then he looked familiar. I asked him, like, who's
this guy? Look, I'm goingto give you one guess where we've seen
him before. Okay, well thenmaybe he's going at it. He's in
Sorry loving it, He's in what'sthe one where he's a action? Oh

(27:19):
my gosh, Oh my gosh,hold on her close. I know exactly
what it is. Hold on,it's the name of the movie. Is
it's the it's the name of thecharacter. Yep, yeah, yep.
Why am I forgetting the name ofthis character? It's a long title.
It's similar to this one? Gotit? Oh? Come on, you're

(27:41):
so close. It's all the listenersare yelling at you right now. Everyone
is in their being like okay,I feel like Andy from the office.
It's like that fucking is Eli.Yes, soldiers, Yes, sake to

(28:06):
do hands. People count on youto be the expert. My guy,
you are failing them. So manylisteners are so mad. He's really working
out, You're so oh no,you're right there. You know it,
my guy? Know somebody flashy thingedme see it's it uses a titling convention

(28:30):
that is not typically used in movies. You just gotta tell me you don't
mess with damn it. Yes,seen, you don't buss with the Zohan.
I can disease and Zookeeper just keepsruining everything. Kevin James just comes
in. I'm like, it's I'mlike it started with like a z or

(28:52):
an X or something. You don'tmess with the Zohan. Yes, where
is he in that he is?I'm like trying to remember because I like
remember bits of him, but I'mtrying to remember. He's like Sandler's good
friend that kind of like ushers himinto New York City, and I think
he might be the brother of thelove interest. Okay, yeah, that's

(29:15):
when the movie. I liked itbefore he went to New York City.
That movie, that movie, thefirst part of that movie is great.
Yes, and it it all connectsbecause like Sandler wasn't this Raeli soldier and
this guy isn't it? And hisrally actor and his Raeli man who's playing
this DJ So this fits in theSandler verse. This could be technically part

(29:42):
of like uncut gems too, youknow, like this one, he doesn't
get shot in the head. Istruly you know what? Yes, it's
an alternate. This is Uncut Gems, different universe, happy, Yeah,
it doesn't Discovery Gambling. Yeah,at some point in this timeline it's split

(30:03):
and you got Uncut Gems and thenyou got you. You're so not invited
in my barns. There's also acameo from Dan Bulla, who did all
the music for Sandlers. Immediately Mariesaw him immediately him. Yeah, that
was great to see a great bitin the synagogue like school center. Yeah,

(30:29):
yeah, I don't know what thatwas school they were school Yeah,
give him a good line. Yeah. And Sarah Squirm plays like the Rabbi
wrote, she's wearing that that BTwas on the couch. That's like very

(30:52):
popular in a fashion right now.Yeah, well she she is very much
that. I feel like that's whatshe wears out the door. I mean
yeah, yeah, it's very muchher style. I loved it. I
loved it. Yeah. Yeah,what else, Marie, Oh, there's
this is just a little sidebar,but there's a character named Matteo. I

(31:14):
think he's like an exchange student.He's just like a little a little gooby
guy a little Gooby Matteo. ButI feel like he's going to come back
and like save the day. Yeah, oh yeah, oh absolutely should be
the final eleven interest or something,yes, or like go through a growth
spurt and be hot. Yeah,he has to win. If the movie
doesn't have this kid win at theend, it's like, what if he's

(31:36):
just been torturing come on, Imean it's pretty this one's pretty obvious.
But movies, you know what's gonnahappen. Yeah, but it's a it's
a fun ride though. I'm havingsuch a fun with that. What is
it, Matteo Matteo the bit wherehe like, she's gonna go up to
this cute boy, baby Jack Carlow, He's gonna go up to his cute

(31:56):
boy and like approach him, andthen Mateo like stain and interrupts it.
Really like beautiful subtle moment, likeone of like a snapshot of why I
like this film so much is thatit ruins the moment for her to chat
to talk to the guy. Soshe walks off, and then each one
of her friends walks by and shootsthe dirtiest look yeah, and they're like,
what the fucktail I don't think tosay what the fuck. But it's

(32:20):
very much the energy, the energy, and I'm like, oh, that
was the first one. I waslike, I think I like this film
because it's this film knows what itis. Yes, yeah, and it
and it. The jokes are evenif they're not not all the jokes hit.
Not all of them are great.Some of them are pretty awful,
but they move so fast or it'sjust like well whatever, Yeah, Ladi
Da didn't like that one. Hopelike this one. Do Do Do Do

(32:40):
and it moves and it doesn't sit. Yeah, and yeah stew in it.
Yeah that's all for my notes.Yeah, do I miss anything from
you guys? That's all I gotto get Horse tooth, no too much,
boat talks and sand their wives.Unfortunately, there's wife is an awful

(33:01):
actress again in this No I youcould see why she couldn't be the mom.
She better as the mom. Yeah, she is like a gorgeous woman.
Yeah, but it sucks. I'ma big like Bravo fan, and
all the real housewives are this waytoo, like they're just so much plastic

(33:22):
inside them. You're like, Imissed your old face, like you used
to look unique and now you justlook like a scary like lion or cat
or something. It's really unfortunate.I don't think it does what she thinks
it does, and I think that'sjust like frustrating. I don't know.
I'm like, you're beautiful, You'rebeautiful. Yes, yeah, she she

(33:42):
was a model, and it makessense that she is not a great actress
because she should model. She shouldmodel, And we're all having fun.
Let's watch thirty more minutes. Hellyeah, yeah, Okay, today we're
gonna be talking about tiku alarm?Does anyone know what that means? Kim?
If God exists, then how doyou explain climate change? Actually an

(34:08):
amazing question? And why can't straightpeople get on gay TikTok? It's like
way funnier. And if God lovesme, then why does he always give
me so many zits? And whydoes Apple keep changing their chargers? And
why did my dad's doctor operate onthe wrong shoulder? And why don't have
to share a room with my grandma? Okay, okay, okay, I
think I can explain zits and climatechange and gay TikTok Jesus musically. If

(34:37):
God is real, then why isthere war? Why is there injustice?
Why are people poor? And whyhave I had a yeas in section or
a solidity love? And the answeris clear. God is random. God

(35:08):
is random, Got is random,sauce, everybody got random? And we're
back. We watched another half anhour of you are so not invited to
my botts? How are you feeling, folks? It's so fucking good.
It's so good, Caleb said rightbefore we sat down. And when we

(35:30):
pause it at the hour mark oflike, oh, it's like BookSmart meets
a Sandler film, and it's like, yeah, I think we should talk
about So we thought that they weregoing to jump off the cliff and have
their clothes stolen, but instead thatdid not that did not happen, thank
god. What actually happened is somethingI don't think any of us saw coming.

(35:52):
No, No, I wouldn't haveguessed it in a million years.
Yeah, totally. She jumps into be brave and show off in front
of her crush, Andy Goldfarb.And after she jumps in and people are
cheering her period pad, her padfloats up. It's bloody as it's so

(36:20):
yeah, it really shock could seea big pad. If she if a
if a, if a dead bodyhad flown off, I would have been
like, oh wow, that tooka twist, but the pad I was
like, oh my god, yes, and you feel like how mortifying is
for her. I mean, Ithink like every single woman has like a

(36:43):
teen period story where you're like letthrough or like you just like have something
embarrassing, And that is so fuckingembarrassing. After really beautiful moment, after
such a great moment where she wins, she immediately losing and everyone was like,
that's so cool, and like shemade this massive leap and like and

(37:06):
then just to switch it like that, that's probably what took you so off
guard. Yes, and you're like, oh cool, great, this is
kind of fun. Then all ofa sudden, and then Andy Goldfarb says,
whoa. He said something like,oh, partying the road talk about
the Party of the Red Sea,which out oh my god, and she
gets upset that her friend laughed atthat situation. So this is where they

(37:30):
have their break. So the filmdoes a great job of like, here's
this really important thing. It reallyhits you, and it does. It
has an effect on the rest ofthe film, which again Adam Sandler films
don't do usually, and it hasa snowball effect because she gets butt hurt
about her friend supposedly laughs like she'sjust insecure about it, but her friend

(37:52):
wasn't laughing. She immediately comes downchecks on her, and that snowballs into
Sadie Sandler like missing the friend's partybut then being like, oh, I
should make up with her and seeingher friend make out with Andy, who
was formally Sadie's crush, and thenit smokes. It snowballs into their like

(38:13):
friendship fight and then kind of goingtit for tat against each other. Yeah,
and it's like really kicked off themovie to like what it's really about
here? Yes, and she evensays you are so not invited to much.
Yeah, yeah, she says thetitle of the movie before we get
too far. We also pointed outthere was a funny scene with Adam Sandler

(38:34):
and Sadie in the car and atthe end of it, he's like,
here you go, you could youshould try some coffee and she's like,
oh, okay, and then hegoes who and then like fake spills it
honor and Marie jumped. She's like, oh, I thought it was full
too, and it was, andwe were all like Yeah, that really
felt like an improvised moment. Notsure if it was written in there,
but it did feel real. Whydoes he have a couple, let's let's

(38:57):
play this out an empty cup?Why would have an empty cup right next
to him that that would be fullof anything? Like? Why would it
be empty because a prop? Yeah, exactly. Yea. So it was
a very fun moment, and she'sit's the best acting she's done it.
She's not a bad actress in this. She's not great, but she's not
a bad actress in this. Butthat's the most genuine moment in the film.
And she's like ah, and shealmost has a look on her face.

(39:20):
I'm like, dad, you ruinthe shot? Yeah, you know.
We also didn't talk about last timehow colorful the film is. It's
very pretty. It has a lotof color in it. It's very like
every scene is framed well and thebackground is set up and things look lived
in and oh wow, what achange of pace for this podcast. And
I just don't know what to dowith So we were talking about it,

(39:43):
like there's a moment where when shesees them kiss, they do a zali
shot, which is like a zoomfocus shot. And it's like, I
mean the famous one is from Jaws, right, like when he sees the
when they yell out the shark andthe push in, but the like the
camera go never goes forward and youwiden the shot so you stay the same,

(40:04):
but the foot like the background kindof changes so it looks kind of
odd. And usually it's it's usedin when characters are realizing something and so
she sees this or is hit bysomething, she sees them have I guess
And I remember it being like that'sthat's why this movie is different than like
the other ones, because like there'sno Zalis and fucking Hubie Halloween, Like

(40:25):
this happen not at all, right, Like there's so much better film and
technique, and like it does agood, such a good job of building
to that moment where she's like comingto apologize and she's looking and she's searching
and she's searching for her friend andthen she clocks them and like that Sally
happens and it's just so well donewell. The moment when she decides to

(40:46):
jump off the cliff too, right, it just shows her eyes and it
sees her analyzing the situation and thengoes back to her eyes and then it
just pans down and she says,I'll do it, and I'm like,
that's really good filmmaker. Yes,that's interesting filmmaking. The we go back
to like Hebrew School and Sarah squirmis fucking great song and it hits on

(41:15):
such a fun thing where like there'sthis scene where the kids are like,
if God is real, why istheir climate change? Why? There's like
funny dumb stuff like why can't Iget on queer TikTok if I'm straight?
But then like very real stuff likewhy why is their war? Why is
their famine? And Sarah's like Godis random, and it just like sings

(41:39):
a song and it's so good thatcomes up in every fucking religion class.
Like ever, I remember asking thatin school when I went to Catholic school.
I believe she's saying about how shehad an eight year ye yes section
is part of the lyrics for thesong. To play that song between the

(42:01):
parts audience this fucking good. Yeah, it's really the whole movie's great.
Her parts are fantastic, so awesome, so awesome. You know it's growing
on me. The dipshit boyfriend,Yeah, he's growing. I did not
like him at first, but Ithink it's some of the funniest bits.

(42:21):
First of all, I've noticed thatthere's like three scenes where he's just beating
up on other kids. There's onewhere they have the gladiators and he just
pummel. There's another part where he'slike hitting these kids with balloons, and
it's like he's always beating up kids. But my favorite part is after she
sees after she says like, you'reso not invited to my bit mitzvah party,

(42:45):
and like they run off opposite directions. All the kids are lined up
like watching it go down, andthen baby Jack Harlow, the dipshit boyfriend
just like comes by playing soccer,like the whole things about him. Yeah,
he's just he's just yeah, flieson his purple pants. Yeah.
He's very much like if you watchedBob's Burger's Tina's love interest in there,

(43:07):
Like he's just kind of like,uh, she's just like a sports guy.
Yeah, just like popular for noreal reason because no personality, just
like yeah yeah, dope, yeahyeah, yeah, he talks like dope
Brad yeah yeah. The scenes wherehe's visiting his grandma in the I have

(43:29):
to so she take away my xboxand he's dribbling down the hall way old
people like literally being helped, likewalking with walkers. That's my favorite part.
This is why he's growing, becausehe has these moments where he's so
boring and he's so dull, butit's very on purpose. And then he
moments where he's just kind of anasshole, like yeah, year old asshole

(43:52):
basketball out of nowhere, Like wherewas that This guy barely was moving a
second ago, and like now suddenlyhe's like doing moves in the hallway against
an eighty six year old you know, Like it's just the stuff like that,
Like he's suddenly like boring. Andthen I'll say, he's just playing
soccer. I'm a whale man,yeah man. Or he's beating up kids

(44:15):
like he's he's like nor McDonald andlike some of the movies where it's like
leave me alone, mister. Whenyou get Sprang that kid with the hus
and Billie Madison, it's just likeliterally and like you I knew that kid
in junior high, like the kidthat was just like all the fucking girls
loved him and all this stuff,and you're like he's boring. He's just

(44:37):
a piece of cardboard, but helike plays sports every once in a while,
and he thinks he's good at basketball. Like it's I just know that,
thirteen fourteen, fifteen year old.Yeah, that's so good. Any
other notes? I got, yeah, I got, yeah, I got
first of all. Of course,as soon as she starts to cut the

(45:00):
video together, fucking editor over here, Oh my god, Yes, she's
premiere. She must be pretty goodbecause we're watching so her compiling those close
wet hours. Yes, oh shejust found him. It's in two seconds,
okay, Zadie Sailor, and it'stogether a video of of life footage

(45:22):
of her best friend to blackmail.Her footage is so funny, is very
funny. It's like for thirteen fourteenyear olds, however they are, they're
not afraid to go for the jo. It's actually great. I find it
really refreshing because I'm like, yeah, but because teenagers like pretty they did

(45:45):
this, like this is real ifit's really really dead. And I was
like, well, what's she doingediting this with quick time or something because
she's just looking through us. I'mlike, okay, whatever, movie,
and then it cuts to her actuallyusing premiere, and I'm like Oh,
she's using Premiere. They can affordit. I guess. Yeah, she
paid for the licensing from Adobe.I don't know why she her family has

(46:05):
that kind of money. Okay,I guess it's sign she could just use
I movie comes on her computer forfree. She's not doing any complicated edits.
I don't know anyway. Yeah,that was good. Hagan's commentary.
Also another favorite moment and Sandler beingSandlery and when he comes out of a
movie theater role. That's so good. They actually make a joke about how

(46:28):
we dressed this like a slob.Yeah, you know, he's just in
a robe. It's a very funnylooking robe, very funny. Yeah,
that's a fun scene because you feelSadie, like Sadie's embarrassment, but also
she's like, I mean I dolove my dad, like shame him.
And then her friends like like,oh, like how embarrassing for you,

(46:49):
but also I love your dad.Like there's a lot of like complicated dynamics
and reactions in this movie and it'sso fun. Yeah, And on that
point, for me, this ishitting home a lot just because like teen
girls do have these like shitty friendfights and they suck and they feel terrible,

(47:10):
and it does feel like the world'sending, and it really like this
movie is doing a great job ofcapturing that and capturing how shitty teen girls
can be, and it's just fun. There's just such a clear vision from
the director. Yeah, they knowexactly what they're trying to achieve, and
like that's so fucking refreshing. Itso that there's thought process put into the

(47:34):
vision and it makes you want tofeel a certain experience and wants to reflect
on like real life. Like it'sjust awesome yea and refreshing. Every single
person has had the feeling of like, oh, I'm such a loser,
like when you're going through purebdy andthen also like I'm so fucking cool,
like sucks for that person getting madephone up, Like you feel that push

(47:55):
and pull in this movie and youand every person can relate to that,
and it's just this movie is sogood. It's really good. And too
many movies now focus too much onthe social media aspect of growing up,
which is very important and this moviedoes touch on. But also they go
and do things, They go toparties and go do things, and we
get we get both sides of things. So the whole movie isn't just held

(48:16):
up by complete nonsense, like ithas something with it. The only thing
that kind of feels like an addedon part is the fact that Sonny Sandler
constantly watches full length movies on fullblast on her phone. And yeah,
at parties and and I guess theylike like semi weird ones or whatever I

(48:37):
mean, and they do it sothe guys horror movies. Yeah, she's
watching horror movies. And then thoseguys always come over and say, hey,
have you ever seen this? Andthey pretend like they have, and
then it sucks on and they watchit. They like use them for suggestions.
But this running joke doesn't really seemto fit in anywhere in this movie,
almost like her character doesn't need tobe any Maybe it'll get paid it

(49:00):
off. It could get paid offright now. It's very annoying because it's
just happened like four or five times. Yeah, there's also the really fun
scene with all the old ladies andSadie's hanging out with Adam and the old
biddies at the bat mitzvah or ata bar mitza. I think it's for
a guy. Yeah, yeah,because Smoothie was doing the basketball theme.

(49:22):
Yeah, yes, yes, Ilike how they're all they're also setting it
up where all of them are basicallythe same. They're with different themes,
but everyone like thinks that it's different, so that's kind of perfect. It's
really nice. But like the scenewith the old biddies was just so nice
where it's kind of establishing like,hey, I know it's tough now,
but you're going to regret, likeyou should make up with your friend because

(49:45):
don't be don't take friendships are what'smost important. Yeah, look at us
enjoying it a little, and there'sjust like fun, some fun like character
actors at that old biddy table too. It's a fun. Yeah, because
remember this moment. It we bottlethis moment and just put it in something
I don't know. Oh my god, that's great, you guys, there's

(50:07):
only just want to watch the lastforty five minutes of this forty five minutes,
yeah, because I don't want tostop at half. We'll get fifteen
minutes left sucking insane happens, yeah, which I trust. This period moment
was the closest we were going towrite, and it was just so well
done that it was not worth it. I wanted it to keep going.

(50:29):
I wasn't like, oh my god, stop this moment, this is the
peak. I was like, Oh, I can't wait to see what happens
next. Agreed, awesome, let'swatch the rest. This movie sounds good.
In front of the toro, Whatwere you thinking? I said,
I was sorry. Why is Andynot getting in trouble? Oh, he's
in trouble. He's a repeat offender. We're handling it. Oh, my

(50:52):
father doesn't handle it. Put himon a woodchipper. Then ever find his
body, Seema. Only a fewweeks away from your bot mits. Okay,
cutie, pops, this is supposedto be the most important day of
your life and you're not taking itseriously at all. You haven't even done
your mitzva project yet. I thinkmy mits for a project. I volunteered
at the retirement home so you coulddo a mitzvah, or so you could

(51:13):
flirt with a boy. How didyou know that. Let's just say,
there's a wonderful woman there, MissusO'Leary, who wishes to convert to Judaism,
and you never brought her bookies.Yeah, you're not the only one
who's amazing and impressions. I'll dobetter. Let me take off my rabbi

(51:34):
hat for a second and put onmy tough love hat. You don't shape
up your bat mitzva is gonna becanceled. Cis And that's the way the
Humma Tashan crumbles kapiche. We havefinished. Oh my god, are you
there? God, it's me AdamSandler's Donna. Yes, Oh yeah,

(52:00):
I'm sorry, real quick. Wehave to correct something. We finished the
movie because the names show up belowthe screen, and now Marie is yelling
at the screen. I'm meiling atmyself. I'm meiling at myself. I'm
screwed up. Sonny is the lead, Yes, Sadie is Adam's clone.

(52:22):
Yes, with the chicken, wemix them up. I'm so sorry.
We all feel sorry. How doyou guys feel? What a good movie.
I'm shocked, I'm I'm gooped,I'm gagged, I'm gob gobsmacked.

(52:45):
We were talking like, hey,this is the best we felt seeing and
Adam Sandler movie since uncut Gems.Yeah, and Uncut Gems gives a very
different yeah feeling. Even though you'relike the end of it, that was
a good movie, you're still likeYou're like, I watched Art, but
wow, did I suffer? Ifyou want, if you want a Barbonheimer,

(53:07):
but for the Sandler universe, youdo an uncut Jem's You're so not
invited to do it. Uncut boughtmitzvah do it? Get dressed up as
Adam stand there and is he showedup in basketball shorts for a shot.

(53:31):
He had to do it. He'sin one shot for like two seconds and
then he's like, you know whattoday, I just can't go to wardrobe.
I'm only going to be in themovie for two seconds. And then
he's dressed like Adam Sandler sleeping ona mall. But it's honestly kind of
shots off. It's shoots off,which is definitely shoes. Yeah, and

(53:53):
he delivers the line pretty wise.There gives some ice cream. Have you
already got them? It's actually legitfunny. It's very funny. We left
well. It's all prefaced by hiswife being like he's gonna he's a violent
man or something like that, andit cuts to him in the sleeping in
the chair. It's very well done, so good. I wrote down this

(54:15):
is the best school in the world. The teachers are amazing. Are there
other teachers? There are other teachers, right, well, it's not Sarah
Shara Squirm, Like that's the onlyteacher we actually see just doing her things.
Also another caveat, just for thepeople, the gotcha folks listening,

(54:37):
Sarah's real name is Sarah Sherman,but she goes by Sarah Squirm as like
a stage name, or at leastwhen she was doing stand up here and
like in New York. That's why. Yeah, I've seen her listed as
yeah, Sarah Squirm, so thatis the same person. It was also
her Twitter handle, Yes, yeah, and so that's how I've kind of

(54:58):
always referred to her. But yeah, but her name is Sarah Sherman.
I started to say it and thenI switched. Yeah. She's great though,
she is very good. Everyone's greatin this movie, except for maybe
Sadie. Sadie's doing her best.Everybody's doing their best. Everyone is doing
her best. She is doing herbest. DJ truly, truly, truly,

(55:20):
I said during this, Uh,this is one of the reasons why
this movie is so good is becausean old Adam Sandler movies, that character
would have been Rob Schneider. Yes, and it wasn't so much better.
I love that he's like going backto like old co stars that are actually
good. I have so much morepotential. Yes, the film is great.

(55:44):
The story is beautiful. She givesup her Bob for her friend because
she ruined her friends Bob mitzvah,and like ultimately realizes what kindness is and
like all that. It's it's beautiful. It's great when she's reading the Torah.
Yeah, in the middle of hershe becomes a woman Jesus, And
it's very well done. And thisbeautiful metaphor for growing up is like taking

(56:05):
responsibility. Yes, it's great,and the like mistaken video being sad,
it's done in a good way whereyou know, like part of the misunderstanding
was Sonny lying to her mom andher mom being like, oh, she
said, it's finished, like shootsit off. If you're watching this movie

(56:28):
as an adult, you could seeevery step of the way. There's only
one turn that you kind of don'tsee coming. But I think the movie
does. It's so well even thoughyou know things are going to happen,
you're still enjoying yourself. And Ithink it's a great story for kids right
first time, because they probably mightnot have heard this story yet and might
not have been present at this kindof media yet, so it's new to

(56:51):
them. So even though you cankind of see everything that's going to come,
it's so much fun. It's sowell done that it doesn't matter.
Yeah, It's like the mistake withthe video needs to happen for a saved
or sorry Sonny to become like apariah and realize like, yeah, what
how bad she fucked up? Youknow? Yeah, and she and it

(57:13):
was set up before that she haddone it, and she had exported it
and she changed her mind, butit was too late because the mistaken sending
of files. Yeah, and ultimatelyteaches her a good lesson. You know.
She had to give that up,right, she had to give up
her butt mitzvah, Like, andthat's that's the thing that she wanted in
cravely because she's not a good She'snot a good she's obnoxious and selfish.

(57:37):
She is like not a good friendfor like half this movie. So the
fact she had to give up herbat mitzvah to the thing that she wanted
so bad, like, it justit all makes it's all wrapped up really
nicely. Yeah, and it doesend unexpectedly with her fully giving up them
or sorry the bot mitzvah. Yeah, and it being Lydia's Like I thought

(58:00):
there was going to be like maybea thing where it's like, let's walk
in together, but no, it'sstraight up like I have given this up.
It is Lydia's redo, it's herday, and now we're selfless.
Yeah, yeah, they're friends again, but like it is a very selfless
act. And she doesn't even doit as her mitzvah. She does it
to like be a good person andget right. Yeah, and now she's

(58:23):
a good person, so she getsto be with a good person in Matteo.
Matteo, even though the whole moviehe's only there showing up being like,
oh hi, I am the personin the world. Yes, I
am spending my free time cleaning ducksfrom this oil spill. And then after
that I have to go visit mygrandma, and then after that I have

(58:45):
to go visit my I have togo give food to refugees. Also,
it's such a bizarre detail that Matteois not Jewish and it's just hanging out
at the school if that ain't me, you know, But also I get
it. It's a great school.It's a great school. You can go

(59:07):
there. Who doesn't want to goto that school? I would love,
just for sure convert for that.Sarah Square alone, Marie looking at your
list? Do you have your listsomewhere? Holy shit? Oh where does
it going? Where we put onour list? No, this is the
least Adam sandlery movie we've watched sinceprobably Airheads, where we're like, that

(59:32):
didn't really count because Adam Sandler's barelyin this. That's not true. He's
in a lot of it, ishe he doesn't really affect the plot much.
He doesn't. He's a supporting He'sa supporter. Yeah, but you
know what, it's so much ofhis family it kind of seems like it
counts. And I'd say Adina evenhas more scenes than Adam. Yeah,

(59:55):
I think so, but I wouldsay it's significantly Adam Sandler. Yes,
when he's in it, it's veryAdam Sandlery, and it still has that
Adam Sandler feel throughout. I thinkit's a good film. It's the best
one I've seen in a while.And I think at first my inclination was
to put it really high, butI'm like, just take a second,

(01:00:17):
this one's just brand new. DoI actually really like this more than I
like Billy Madison? There's no way, no way do I like this.
You know, I don't like thismore than I like So at first I'm
like, man, it's going tobe pretty high, and then I just
love myself think. You know,it's a good movie. It's it's one

(01:00:38):
of the best ones in a reallylong time. Say that it's very competent.
I like the way things are going. When Marie had an idea to
do this podcast, it was aroundwhen Pixels came out and Adam Sandler was
just fucking taking it and he has, you know, gone further down in

(01:00:58):
the depths, but this is inthe awesome direction. So I'm gonna say
that I think it's better than Men, Women and Children, but I don't
think it's better than Happy Gilmore.So that puts it at number seven on
my list, So it's top ten. That puts it below Happy Gilmore.

(01:01:22):
And my top five is the sametop five, going from five to one,
Billy Madison, the Wedding Singer,The Merriwit Stories, Punch, Drunk
Love, Uncut Gems. My bottomfive this is from forty to forty four,
Grown ups two grown ups, Jackand Jill, Jack and Joel,
Jeal, Jack and Gel. Thedo Over and that's my boy. The

(01:01:50):
Doover was so bad. God,that's my boys, my least favorite.
Yeah, so it's top ten,So okay, all right, but let
me let me ask you, thisis it the highest movie on your list
that has the least amount of Sandlerin it? Probably? I think Spanglish.
He loses a lot of screen time. Really, Uh yeah, he's

(01:02:13):
not always on screen because it's he'snot the main main character one. Uh
yeah, it's it's since Shakes theClown. I found my rankings. Yeah,
and this is really tough. Yeah, this one hits close for you,
It hits it really hits home forme. And I have to ask
the question like wedding Singer, BillyMadison, Happy Gilmore. Those are solid,

(01:02:39):
Those are my top three. Thoseare not going anywhere. The Myrowitz
stories were kind of far away fromwatching that, but I do remember it
being really good. And then wehit Men, Women and Children and that's
my number five, and I'm like, is this better than Men, Women
and Children? And then I hitit, is this better than Mister Deeds?

(01:03:10):
Am I? Okay? Okay,when you're sitting there going is this
better than Mister Deeds? Mister Deedsis terrible, but it's also wonderful.
It's amazing, it's amazing. It'sso bad. It's so bad that it's

(01:03:32):
really there's a guy's a dead foot. It's like a main part of the
movie that happens to be the timeI'll his his main character, Sandler Titans
going at it. Oh my god, the nuance of mister Deeds off the

(01:03:58):
top of his head, and that'stell it. Oh my god. They
go to a place that's made upthat she like makes up in her head,
and then he finds it and thenthey go there and it's a total
liars reveal, bullshit, nonsense moviewith a man with a dead foot.

(01:04:18):
And I'm asking is this And I'msaying I loved yeah, And I'm saying
that bad Balad question, Marie Balad, And I'm putting on my librarian glasses,
and I'm sitting in front of afireplace. Caleb is looking on in

(01:04:41):
horror, and Bacon's like, wow, fair, this is truly one of
the greatest intellectual debates right here withme. He's like, oh, father,
just the Debate of the Century.My god, Bot Deeds, but

(01:05:05):
deeds right, Lincoln, Douglas,Frost, Nickson Bots, Oh my god,

(01:05:27):
Oh okay, is this better thanLister Deeds? That is the question.
I dare you. You don't knowwhat you're talking about. Gabble,
gabble, gabble, gabble, gentlemen, keep it together. We must debate

(01:05:49):
what did you know? When?When did you know this was worse than
mister Deeds? Give me the exacttime code. I must know where I
don't see it. There's a womanwho tackles people for no reason. She's
just like it's just like, Oh, that worked in water Boy, it's

(01:06:11):
gonna be in this one. It'sa fucking content, Yes, a wandering
eye. I wasn't talking to you. I'm talking about squirrel over there.
Why is it funny? Why isit funny? It can't be that good.

(01:06:39):
It's not. It isn't. Butit's number ten on. I want
to go home and watch it now, because I've been seeing I was like
fifteen or something. Oh my god, please watch it and then record your
thoughts. You're gonna go home andbe like she was talking about her parents
eating paint chips. I think she'sgobbling them down, mister Deeds. I

(01:07:00):
think she just cooked paint chips andate pint chips straight, no popcorn in
there. She she pops haint chips. I'm telling you she involved. She
gobbled a can of benja him inmore like it was fucking suit. I
saw, I saw three basin lead. Dude, just straight free basing it,

(01:07:24):
no painting, straight to the left. Oh god. Okay, So
Marie Hanes question, where is it? Where is it? I don't understand
going. It paints me to sayit's going. Is it going after mister
Dan? Going after? It hurtsI I wish I wasn't this way,

(01:08:02):
but I also get it. Butit's so, it's so it's John TATORO
all. I wish John Tator madean appearance in God Bosses. Jamie Harris,

(01:08:24):
Jamie fucking Harris. We didn't evenknow that was Dumbledore's son back in
the day. Now we know,we know, now we knows legend and
screen Jamie Harris, son of RichardHarris, original Dumbledore. I gotta watch
this ship, you know what.It would make more sense if mister Deeds
took place in the Harry Potter universe, like magic exists, you know,

(01:08:46):
like he had a black foot froma dementor or something. He had.
He stepped in a pool that hada horcrucks in it and they got a
black broth. It's mister is inHarry Butter. It's so simple. I'll
bring the Butteriers Piers. Yeah,I'll bring the Hagrid. Shall we do?

(01:09:23):
I hope everyone's still with us?Yeah? Man, all right?
So I put it after mister Deedsat number seven. Wow, that's so
high. Cracked the top ten forme, top five? So wait you
put it at seven. Yes,mine is also at seven. Wow,
but it's above deeds. Deeds isa ten for you. Yeah, it's

(01:09:49):
so so high. Deeds is abovefifty. First date. It is for
me to what's your top five?Marie? From five to one, From
five to one. I have men, women and children, The Myerwoods Stories,
Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison. Thewedding. Oh, the wedding singer

(01:10:13):
is number one. Yeah, Ido wedding singers. Number four for me.
That's really high. It's I meannumber I could see how that could
be anybody's number one. It's sogood, it's so good. It have
so much heart. You're gonna watchit number seven. Then what's your bottom
five? Marie? They stay thesame, They stay the same. That's

(01:10:38):
my boy. The douver do overJack and Jill grown ups, grown ups
two? Eight Crazy Nights. Ohyou didn't like eight Crazy Nights. I
hated eight Crazy Nights. I thinkit's when the deer are eating shit,
yes, human shit, that is, and then they smile at the camera.
That's a low low point, itis. That's a check. I

(01:11:03):
haven't seen that movie in years.It's in my head, n I know
forever. It's a gold fowl.Also, probably some scabados in that one.
Oh yeah, if you have yourlooking for somewhere scabados again. Yeah,
send all your scaberdoos to Adam Sandler. Please stop at gmail dot com.
You guys, what's go over?What's next for us? We talked

(01:11:25):
about watching the Rob Schneider Asian MamaMexican Kids Stand up special, So we'll
do that sometime. I've unfortunately seenthat one. Yeah, it's it's older
twenty nineteen yeast or something. Well, we could just talk about it in
a we don't have to do thethirty minutes of time. There's also Goliath

(01:11:45):
still if we want to check thatout. That's a Happy Madison production.
Leo. The animated Turtle film starringAdam Sandler and Rob Schneider and is also
an Happy Madison animated film, isNovember twenty first, twenty twenty three.
Adam has a Spaceman movie releasing intwenty twenty four. That's the Sandler Butter

(01:12:08):
Sandler Safty Brothers project. I'm verymuch looking forward. Yeah, but there's
no info on like what time ofyear. Kevin James is currently in production
of a new film called Guns Up. The plot is it follows an ex
cop who's on the run from themob. No release date yet, a

(01:12:30):
buch of that title gets changed twomore times. Yeah. Rob Schneider's Daddy
Daughter Trip still isn't available anywhere.It played at two theaters and it's gone.
I don't think given his recent standup and views, that's gonna go
anywhere. Yeah, I agree withyou. I think he's unmarketable. I

(01:12:51):
was gonna say, like, distributionplaces probably won't touch it. Right,
Hopefully we'll be able to see thatpilot garbage. He's in another one called
Pledge Trip it's in pre production,and a movie called Dead Wrong that is
completed, so keep an eye outon that one. We got some emails

(01:13:12):
from some listeners. Yeah, Inever check so every you know, I
always forget, so I'm really sorry. So people who, Yeah, I
think I have decided just now listeningto YouTube that I am going to try
to get caught up as quickly asI possibly can. Oh my god,

(01:13:33):
please do and then feel free torecord yours after each one. Okay,
I can't believe you saw this andyou want to be part of this.
Seeing a drug house and wanting todo drugs, yeah, the first time
at this point, and being likeI want to try that. Well,
I can't believe after bought Deeds youwant to debates. Honestly, that's what

(01:13:58):
brought me here. I mean thatreally what I was like, I just
want to be a fair moderator whodid his research so he knows how to
write ask the right probing questions.You know. That's where I want to
be in this, in this relationshipbetween you two. You want to moderate
bought deeds. Okay, we gotsome emails from people, so sorry,

(01:14:19):
please email us and I will readthem. This is from Chris. It
says hello, Bacon, Marie andCaleb Big fan making way way through the
back catalog. First of all,you gotta do the Scabba Do ranking tournament.
That has a potential for being thesingle greatest podcast episode ever recorded.

(01:14:39):
Also, I listened to What theHell Happened to Me episode today as a
guy who loved that album as akid. I can't believe I forgot about
the play with Your Cock and Ballsfor Mama part. What the hell?
I can't believe that exists. Thanksfor reminding me. I'm so confused.
Anyways, keep up the great work. Absolutely love this pod, your friend,

(01:15:00):
Chris. Thanks Chris, Thank youChris. From Tim Hello Team,
I would like to request some sortof very special episode which covers the plot
for the TV show Dog Police.It features Adam Sandler. For some reason,
the show was never picked up fora full season shocking. I'm sure
it doesn't qualify for official ranking,but I'd like to know where you would

(01:15:25):
rank it if it did. I'msorry for there him. I'm so intrigued.
So I checked it out and itis the main part of this that's
creepy is very visual, so asa podcast, it's just people with really
bad dog masks on pretending to beDog Police and I'm going to cut to

(01:15:47):
the part that Adam Sandler's at.Okay, here, my god, oh
my god, honey, news boss, it's your turn to pay. Not
a problem. One hundred and twentyseven bucks. I don't think so shifty.
Hey, it's free, enterprised,it's the backbone and a capitalist system.

(01:16:08):
My time's got to be worth something, if memory serves, your time
was supposed to be behind bars.I don't think. I don't appreciate you
talking to a judge for me.Huh. I owe you my life and
you owe me one hundred and twentyseven thousand. I'll take a check,
you'll take a walk. Take awalk, my jaws. That is deeply
disturbing on the floor. Yeah,that was really We only played a clip,

(01:16:30):
but we watched the whole thing andit was real bad. Did you
notice that the detectives were wearing boneties, no dog with the real people.
Real is tough. Well, youcan't expect an actor to actually get

(01:16:53):
their voice out totally poorly. Yeah, it's so uneven rastic. But those
masks are so really truly looks likethey just they attached it right around the
eyes. Yes, and you know, yeah, it's dog faces. With
human eyes. Yeah, it's veryodd. It's slightly creepy. Tim,

(01:17:16):
don't send that to anybody. Verygood, it's I landed doctor Moreau ship
here all right, here we havea little bit a longer one from Steve.
Greetings. I truly hope that thisis new information for you guys,
because I think I may have discoveredone of the greatest examples of a podcast
folding over onto itself. I'm talkingabout penis tattoos in episode one twelve down

(01:17:44):
Periscope, the timeless story of competingnaval officers with a grudge over a penis
tattoo. This leads to a lotof speculation from Marie and Caleb about how
a penis tattoo we did, Itotally. We finally got a response on
this. Blasted or erect Oh,we got a response on this. Jumped

(01:18:05):
to episode one fifteen, The Emperor'sNew Groove. Oh. In the fun
facts preceding the movie You, it'srevealed that Patrick Warburton and Eartha kit once
shared the screen in nineteen eighty eightDragonard. Curious. I go to IMDb
to watch the Dragonard trailer. Yes, it looks Taylor terrible. Then I

(01:18:27):
go to the trivia section and loand behold. Quote. According to Patrick
Warburton, Oliver Reid showed him thetattoo on the first day that they worked
together, that the tattoo was apenis tattoo copied from his own anatomy one
penis tattoo of his penis on hispenis. It doesn't end here, bam.
This is a fold over on afold over fold over for the name

(01:18:51):
Dragonard. Yes, so it's apenis tattoo and anard sception. We did
talk about Thenard nard sception. Yeah, yeah, Now, I know what
you're thinking. Was it here?Here's the answer. Was it a tattoo
of a penis or a tattoo onthe penis? The wording in the trivia
is ambiguous, but with a littlegoogling we find that it is indeed a

(01:19:15):
tattoo on Oliver Read's penis, andnot just on his penis, but the
head his penis, and the tattoois double bird claws. Whats w Tf
would you put that on the headof your penis? He says, WTF?

(01:19:35):
How painful? Would that have been? So painful? It has to
affect it has to anyway. Anyway, I couldn't find if his penis was
erect for the tattoos. Damn it. But I don't think the penis had
changes much in size when it is, and it may not get marger,

(01:19:58):
may only get marginally more firm.Anyway, have a nice day, Steve,
That's not how you don't say havea nice day after rude, but
also thank you. But also likeI'm now putting out a call to like
if anyone out there listening is atattoo artist, and if you know the

(01:20:23):
answer, if you've done a penistattoo. When you do a penis tattoo,
can you just explain it rerect orsoft, right, because I don't
want to google it it'll ruin it, right, And like there has to
be assumed. I'd assume on theartist's part some trepidation with putting needles into

(01:20:47):
that skin because it needs to befirm, right that, And like wouldn't
it couldn't it potentially affect like sensitivityand like you know, there could be
bacteria. You have to like takecare of tattoos and put that like aquifer
stuff on him. Yeah, sorry, just lathering your dick with I think
you pour aquifer into a sock andpenis tattoos hurt, and they hurt for

(01:21:13):
a while after. I mean,not that I have him, but I
have friends with them and they've talkedabout this, So your dick would just
be hurting all the time. Yeaha while. Yeah, I just so
many questions, So I don't understandthe point of it, you know.
I either like, what you canhave like claws on the head of your
penis. Yeah, so girl goesdown and she's like, oh, thank

(01:21:34):
god, a non aggressive looking penis? Could she you can ever show it
off except where like, could youimagine being uncircumcised and then like pulling back
that's fold and they're being up fuckingtalents. Yeah, at that point,
at that point, at that point, it's got to be something clase,

(01:21:55):
It's got it's gonna be like,it's gonna be like a mad magazine.
You gotta like. I would alsolegitimately be like, sir, do you
have something? Is there something wronghere? I think we need to not
engage in this because there's something wrongwith your penis. I would think like
it got frostbited. Yeah, yeah, one more anyway, one more from

(01:22:19):
Andrew Dear Adam Sandler, please stopteam. I love how everyone like.
Sometimes people name us, sometimes theteams you know, like some just say
every I love it, love it, love it. I know him a
few years late, but I justdiscovered your podcast and listened to your episode
about Eight Crazy Nights. In thatepisode, you said that anyone who's enjoys
that movie should message you. Well, I'm sorry that I am that anyone.

(01:22:44):
I love this movie. It isa staple of my holiday movie watch
list. I think the songs aresurprisingly great. I think Whitey's voice is
not annoying but hilarious. The grossout humor I could do without. But
other than that, the I lovethis movie. The movie fails at a
lot of things, but one thingthat it succeeds in is teaching me not

(01:23:06):
to let horrible things in life changewho you are, as it did to
Davy. I should also say thatI love a lot of awful Sandler films.
It's a guilty pleasure. I supposethat's my boy blended Jack and Jill
Anger management. That's a hard oneto like. I'm aware of these are
garbage films, but I watched themall multiple times. In all seriousness,

(01:23:30):
I love the podcast and have downloadedmultiple episodes as they keep me saying while
I work and make me laugh.Keep up the good work. Thanks for
listening, Andrew. Thanks Andrews,Andrew, And we're glad that you like
his film. Still that's awesome.Don't like these. We can only give
our own opinions, right and ifyeah, I don't let it change yours.
If you really you just heard awhole debate for mister Deeds, so

(01:23:55):
we're trash too. Yeah. Also, if you talk about a movie that
we just watched that had like reallysuper low stakes, like this podcast is
low stakes. Yes, we're rankingat them stand their films. So that's
that's all the ones that I gotthere. Thank you so much for emailing
us, you guys, send usin your favorite chaba dudes. Does anybody
have anything they need to plug theywant to plug? Yeah, I have

(01:24:19):
something if you don't mind, goahead plug. I'm doing a new career,
have shifted careers and now I'm doingfinancial planning. So I am joining
a team of advisors and I'm justgonna throw that out there that if anybody
is looking for any sort of financialplanning and want to chat with me,
please do. My email is Calebdot George at n M Nancy Mary dot

(01:24:43):
com and uh yeah, let's seeif I could be a resource for you
or now or some time down theline. So just throwing that out there.
Hit them up. Cool, Yeahright, nothing from me, I'll
say. Definitely check out Matt Kelly'spodcast Word Algorithms and One Hit Thunder and
One Hit Thunder. That's another greatone. Any yeah, any of the

(01:25:06):
horror movie Night is another great one. Check out Matt Kelly stuff. He's
awesome, great friend to have tolisten to the episodes. I really enjoy
getting messages from him being like,oh this episode and reminding me about the
Nords and stuff. Uh yeah,oh you could check out these two idiots.
That's my wife and I do.We watch movies and make jokes.

(01:25:30):
You just go to Chicago Bacon dotcom for any of that information. You
guys. Adam Sandler should he stop? Not on this one? No stop?
And Sonny should not stop. Shewas good, She was very good.
Do we say like Sonny Sandler,Uh, get started, gets started,
get started started? Yeah yeah,Sonny Sandler, Sonny Sandler, gets

(01:25:56):
get started. Good to see youagain. I saw you very recently.
A very nice event. Bat mitzvah. Yes, for your eldest daughter.
She had a bat mitzvah and uhand I went, and you would you
would dress very nice that day you'resupposed to dress up for stepped it up

(01:26:17):
for the temple. Yeah, thisis how you were dressed. You.
I always say, he dresses likehe has the flu. Yeah, you
know what I wore to that bottom. I was doing suit stone fit me
right. I don't know why theitchy and they don't. I don't know
how to you're a child is abig child. Yeah, but I was

(01:26:38):
doing Saturday Night Live. You knowhow you do the uh the pictures in
the beginning. Yeah, they hada suit on and I said, hey,
this suit feels were in but misswas the next week and I said,
may I keep this please? Andthey said, yes, wait you
took the suit, Yes I did. You four to host Starting Alive and
you stole it for the bat Mitzvah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,

(01:27:00):
you low life. You know.It was funny. It was really
fun because I got to see Igot to see Chris Rock, David Spade
wearing ya because everything you had.You had a lot of people at the
bat Mitzvah. It was fun tosee them. And then there was a
party, beautiful party, crazy,big party afterwards, and I got I

(01:27:21):
sat next to David Spade's mother,Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and I
heard she was nervous talking to DustinHoffman. She was she saw Dustin Hoffman
sitting on the other side of theover in a corner and she was like,
oh, that's Dustin Hoffman. Iwas like, that's right, Missus
Spade. And she was like,Oh, I'm gonna go talk to him
and I'm gonna tell him my twofavorite movies are Tutsie and the movie Big.

(01:27:41):
And I said, okay, he'sonly in Tutsie Dustin Hoffman, and
she went, yeah, but thoseare my two favorite movie

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