Episode Transcript
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(00:07):
I used to think time was myenemy. My future wasn't looking good.
S worried about the things I couldn'tsee. I couldn't see the things I
could. I was aging, fearfully, worrying my life away, when all
(00:32):
along I should have been thankful forevery day. Finally made a friend of
time, and now you could saythat I'm aging gratefully, Aging gratefully.
(00:57):
Broadcasting from the rolling hills of thebeautiful Tennis Valley, from the foothills of
the Great Smoky Mountains, across thisamazing nation and spanning the universe, you
are listening to Aging Gratefully. I'myour host, Giontologist Holly Kelly, bringing
you exceptional guests and novel information toensure you age great, liveful, and
embrace each extraordinary day for the incrediblegift it is. Welcome, beautiful listeners
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around the world. Thank you forjoining us today for another power hour of
enlighten. You meant so happy herewith us today wherever you're tuning in from
around the world. I hope you'redoing well. I hope you're happy,
I hope you're healthy, and thankyou for spending this hour with us.
So happy to have you do so, and today we're going to talk about
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your aging, gratefully compass navigating thepath to your true north in the journey
of growing older. So many peoplefear aging and growing older, but I
am here to remind you there isnothing to fear and everything to get totally
excited about. From when you werevery young, aging was a thrilling part
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of your incredible adventure. Every newbirthday brought with it additional, upgraded actually
offerings to your life, and yes, more responsibility typically alongside it as well.
But when two turned to three,it was a celebratory occasion, marking
your ever developing milestones. When fiveturned to six, you were probably entering
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early school age by then embarking onyour new big kid learning adventures of kindergarten.
And when nine turned ten, itwas epic to celebrate the long awaited
and ever anticipated double digits. Allcelebrations each year as you reached another mark
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twelve to thirteen. Oh my goodness, this speaks for itself. Finally the
pinnacle achievement of youthfulness. In aninstant, you were a teenager. And
when seventeen turned to eighteen, ohmy goodness, that one was big adulthood.
By most standards, and then twentyone when you finally got to celebrate
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that adulthood if you so desired,with an elixir of your two literally any
choice you wanted. Then with everynew age came new milestones, and with
it new benchmarks of privilege and responsibilitiesyou also inherited along with your older self.
And somehow along the way past yourtwenties, something happened. I'd love
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to know exactly what it is.While we know growing older is a wonderful
privilege, there seems to be ashift somewhere between our thirties and forties,
and we want to put the brakeson the side celebrating. We want to
turn time backwards. What was oncean epic milestone feels more like a mile
marker that we're hitting as we journeythe trip of life. The problem is
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that those mile markers can feel likeyou're getting closer to the end of your
journey instead of simply a wonderful journey. I believe society has imposed a lot
of this upon our psyche. Ibelieve too, that we become more aware
as we grow older. We actuallystop and think about where we've been and
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assess it accordingly. About midlife,then we decide how much time do we
have left to get where we wantto go, do the things we want
to do, be the us weaspire to be. We feel that the
world may have more possibilities only forthe youth, when in fact that is
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only a self limiting false thought thatsun up some of us have unfortunately at
or allowed to seep into our cognitiveperspectives. What if we stopped seeing each
birthday as getting closer to the endof our journey, life itself closing in
on us as we mark another mile. What if we decided instead to simply
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enjoy, making each and every mileone worth marking to literally be in the
journey, each phase of it.What if we didn't think about where,
what, or when that final milemarker was for us, but we simply
left it to be an open endedtrail of unmapped exploring yet to be enjoyed.
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Why is it in life that theanswers always seem to be in the
back of the book, the endof a chapter. How do we get
so much clarity as we age?How do we dispel the negative and embrace
the positive to make the very bestof every moment of every day? It
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seems the words a wise man oncesaid are always from someone that had lived
many years to become so wise.How can we ourselves experience clarity of wisdom
throughout the miles, accumulating it alongthe journey, not just having it as
our reservoir stockpile at the end.How do we gain such wisdom? I
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thought about what would older me sayto younger me and all of my older
sage wisdom? What words would echobackwards across the decades. What would I
have wished to change? What advicewould I extend to younger me to cradle
my soul more gently across the momentsin time? What clarity of insight would
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I have to share to ease myburdens carried over the years, to solidify
more happiness in each and every day. And then I decided to write that
very letter, a special message composedfrom older me to younger me. And
as I put my fingers on thekeyboard and conceptually envisioned one hundred and ten
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year old me, lucidity took hold. As I contemplatively beheld life in reverse,
the irreduction served word by word,it surged, perceptiveness no longer clouded
from the inside, but out insteadthe sagaciousness flowed ever so unimpeded, like
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a downhill sinuous, crystal clear spring. And when I was done, I
read the letters, words and sentencesthat had naturally emerged, and I realized
we all have the wisdom of eldersinside us right now, if we just
seek to uncover it. I becamecognizant that the answers we pursue are simply
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revealed when we just asked the question. And that question is once again,
what would older you say to youngeryou? If you're forty fifty, seventy
ninety. I ask each of youto pose this inquiry to you, just
as I did to me, andI'll share it with each of you now.
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It's called a Letter to my youngerself, written by Holly Kelly.
I wish to offer wisdom I've learnedthroughout the years. If only you had
known this, it would have savedsome tears. Yet what I have learned
as I've journeyed through this life isthere were lessons in the tears, the
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hardships, and the strife. Lifeis so very rich, beautiful in all
its design. I wouldn't change athing about living this life of mine.
I've learned the value of simplicity,found peace and quiet time alone, and
how leading with love is what makesa house a home. I found a
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soft voice is heard louder than ascream, and sitting close saying nothing is
sometimes all others need. I've learnedthat every day held opportunity for growth,
and being here to do so iswhat I've valued most. You see,
time is all we have until wehave no more life. It does not
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tell us what it has in store, but to age and grow older.
Love deeply embedded in our hearts makesus grateful for each day until this earth
we depart. Love is like aspring, an aquifer that pools happiness,
swirling around in our heart, creatingunbridled bliss. So younger me, I
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tell you life will be happy andsometimes sad. It will test you,
but you're tough enough. This strengthyou've always had, don't let it get
the best of you as the yearsgo racing by. Live every single moment
and don't be afraid to cry.Those times you felt broken, unloved and
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so confused, you rose like aphoenix, using hope as your muse.
You can weather any storm, supportothers all around, just to look inside
your heart. Their resilience and strengthare found. Remember when life tests you,
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there are lessons to be learned.You're stronger on the other side with
grace you have earned. Take everymoment, allow time to stand still,
enjoy the dance of life, andlove you back. It will honor who
you are. There's nothing you needto change. Life doesn't always make sense.
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Sometimes it's downright strange. Embrace thehappy, sort the sad, Laugh
with the wind. My love forthis life that we have. Forgive quickly.
Don't get caught in the traps ofregret. Do not worry your beautiful
self about things that haven't happened yet. Anger and guilt leave those behind.
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Two. Whatever you are doing,be sure you're choosing. You do what
makes you happy. Look back withgrand big smiles, For every day you
grow older, you mark another mile, a journey across the ages, through
valleys and mountaintops, for they eachare part of our story, and through
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love, they never stop. I'llmeet you at the end, my exquisite
younger self. I might look alittle different, not sure if you will
tell. I'll be standing there sohappy with smile, wines and hair now
gray waiting for you at the finalmarker, with so much to say.
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I love how you've loved yourself andothers too. It's made all the difference.
So nice to finally see you.I'm proud of who you've become,
how you've cherished every age. Youcame out of thunderstorms with love instead of
rage. Let me hug you forthe life you've mastered so perfectly. Let
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me look into your eyes and seeyou looking back at me. So very
nice to finally meet you younger selfand see only my reflection, so MAGNI
love me. By the way,if you would like to read that poem,
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I posted it on my website,you can visit Holly Kelly dot com
and when you're there, just clickon Holly Kelly Writings and you'll find it.
But I invite each of you outthere listening to do what I have
done, to think about beautiful,amazing, one hundred and ten year old
future you. I want you tothink about all the wisdom you have now
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that you will carry forward into themany years to come. I want you
to not wait for the end ofthe book for the answer key, for
the end of the experience, forthe lesson I want you to envision you
looking back on the glorious life ofyou. All the good stuff, all
the bad stuff, all the mixedup poisone of every varying bit of it.
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I want you to think of yourchallenge is. I want you to
think of your successes, and Iwant you to think about what mattered most
When you look back on the virtualcognitive movie reel of your existence, what
do you see? What have youlearned? What do you want you to
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know? Right now? In thisincredible exercise, we are able to bring
the lessons of later into our lifelived. Now. What an incredible opportunity
to use the wisdom we actually alreadyhave as an aging, gratefully compass moving
forward. This is a gift toyourself that will generate harmony and happiness for
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all your days to come. Sosit down and write that letter. Ponder
this question and get a journal outand give yourself your very own answers.
What would older you say to youngeryou write that letter? So we started
the show out with me saying Ihope you're doing well, and I most
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certainly do, but I didn't actuallyask you how are you? Our day
can be okay, our job canbe okay or not okay. Even things,
events, circumstances can be judged,experienced, rated as good or bad.
But what I want to get tothe essence of is you, not
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the extenuating circumstances of you, becauseif you are centered and balanced and rooted,
then the other things that come atyou are literally just that. They
are things. They may bug you, don't get me wrong. They may
annoy you, they may frustrate you, but they won't derail you. They
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won't define you. Now, don'tget me wrong. Certainly I'm talking about
normal frustrations and events that we knowwe can withstand when we're coming from a
good and positive place. But weall know that there are other things in
life that life brings actually that arecataclismic to our soul. And please know,
I know that they shake us tothe very core, things like grief
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and unexpected losses and terrible things thatcan come along with life, and they
often do. But let me alsoremind you that to live a long life
often means that we do endure suchtragedies and you will find sunshine again.
If you are experiencing such an eventright now, please know that. So
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let me ask the question to youagain, how are you doing? You
can answer it's okay. Even ifyou're listening in a public place, people
can judge while you're talking to yourself, it's okay. If you're in your
car driving around, it's just meyou in your car, you can answer
how you're doing. So if you'redoing great, I commend you. Yay
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you you get a gold star anda sticker or somehow navigating the challenges of
our unprecedented current circumstances and facing thosechallenges, as my gramps would have said,
getting mad and glad in the samepair of pants, go you.
But if you answered not so good, Holly, super subpar. By the
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way, that's the PG version forwhat rhymes with shucks, just take out
the age. In other words,Holly, I'm doing horrible, it's okay.
By okay, I mean thank youfor being honest. Thank you for
being honest with me, but thankyou for being honest with you, especially
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because we can't fix what we don'tknow or acknowledge is broken. On the
other side of break, we're goingto talk about things that can happen to
us along our aging, gratefully journeyand how we can not only recognize it,
but work mine fully to deal withthis ever occurring reality that challenges each
of us. More on that,So don't go anywhere, because this conversation
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will continue before commercial though. Iwant to invite you always to share any
of your thoughts you have about theshow, about a guest, a topic,
idea, or even your aging,gratefully journey with me. I'd love
to see your amazing letters that you'regoing to write to your younger self that
will be written all over the world, and you can reach me via my
(18:30):
official host page. Visit www dotctrnetwork dot com, forward slash Holly Kelly.
That's with an ey on both andthere's many ways to contact me there.
Of course, you can also listento all the shows there. You
can also visit my website at wwwdot Holly Kelly dot com ey on both
(18:52):
and you can contact me that way. You can listen to all of the
shows. I'm on Twitter and Instagramand my handle there is at Life's and
Attitude, or you can find meand follow me on Facebook at gerontologists Holly
Kelly. I love listeners to youjust write in and it's amazing the letters
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and the messages that I get thankyou for them, and you're amazing And
I really appreciate those of you thatsends me your thoughts and ideas and how
the show has made an impact onyour life. I'm happy to be part
of your show, Aging Rebels.I'm grateful to be part of your aging
gratefully journey. Together we make adifference beyond our own lives but into the
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greater world. And I want tothank you out there for the listens and
downloads. So appreciate how you takein our messages and share them with your
friends and family. Our global familygrows more every single week. And oh
my goodness, your reviews. Ifyou could see me read them and see
how much meaning they hold, likeyou would just you would probably get a
kick out of it. But tothe beautiful souls who submitted reviews, I
(20:03):
have this for you. Your wordsare heartwarming and your incredible soul shines greatly
through each one of them. Idon't know if you're listening, but based
on what you wrote, I'm prettysure that you are to the kind gentleman
out there. Your words remind meand further reinforce why I do what I
do. Please know that while Idon't know you personally. I see you,
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and I appreciate you, and restassured I will be certain to keep
plenty of spinach stocked up in ourAging gratefully cupboards just for you. And
to the lovely lady who was formerlya guest and left a review, it
is without question that you are ahuman compass for each of us to continue
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achieving our aging, gratefully goals.Thank you for your kind words in the
amazing way you shepherd others in life'sgreatest adventures. And to all the others,
my sincere gratitude for your generosity ofspirit. You amaze, you rock,
and you role model. I'm yourhost, Gerontologist Holly Kelly, and
we'll be right back. Hi.I'm Donald Dansking from Marit Island, Florida,
(21:18):
and I just love listening to theAging Grateful Show with the one and
only Gerontologist Holly Kelly. Sunrises andSunsets, Final Affair is Forged with flair,
finesse, and Functionality is a delightfulbook for every adult of any age
and any stage. This multi awardwinning book, written by gerontologist Holly Kelly,
(21:41):
is a soul soothing journey and novelapproach to completing your personal affairs and
advanced care planning. Readers are callingit transformative, life changing and fun.
Prepare lovingly, Plan, thoughtfully,Live dynamically available on Amazon and most bookstores.
Of their autographic copies aren't available atSunrises and sunsetsbook dot com, where
(22:06):
you can subscribe, register for aworkshop, and more. Hey folks,
you've been listening to the Aging GratefullyShow with our awesome host, gerontologist Ally
Kelly, and I am actor ChrisToomey, reminding you again that age is
(22:32):
just a number and we don't haveto be that number. A bad day,
We've all had them recently. Iexperienced one. I was in a
car wreck early one morning. Luckilyno one was hurt, but from there
today spiraled into a complete mess andnever truly got back on track. Despite
what happened that day, I didmanage to get to the gym and I
(22:55):
had a good workout. Distress wasgone and the therapy was much needed.
When I walked out of the gym, I saw this beautiful sunset, a
dark blue sky matted with a fewclouds, and the bright rays of the
setting sun shining through. One coulddo nothing but stand there at all of
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such beauty created by His grace.Seeing that made my day and eased my
mind. I realized that day wasa good day. I'm breathing and above
ground, and yet again i knowI'm blessed and that I'm truly grateful for
the gift of that day and todayI look forward to the gift of tomorrow,
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and I hope for all of usa good day. Be grateful for
every day. Know that you areblessed with each day. It is a
gift and you get to further yourlife's journey and enjoy the now. With
that said, let's get back tothe show. Welcome back to Aging Gratefully.
(24:03):
Best listeners in the world. Youreally really are and you probably know
by now that we are on everyplayer I dare say nearly imaginable. So
catch the show on the go orwherever you enjoy listening iTunes, iHeartRadio,
Stitcher, tune In, Spotify,Google Podcasts, and so many of you
use Amazon Alexa really surprises me.And if you do, though, you
(24:26):
have to say, for those ofyou that want to charter this territory,
you have to say it just likethis, Alexa play Aging Gratefully with Holly
Kelly podcast, or if you don't, I just have no idea what she'll
give you, but it won't bemy show. Amazing listeners tuning in from
all over the world, you receivemy incredibly heartfelt gratitude. While our station
(24:47):
broadcasts two over one hundred and seventycountries, it amazes me to see where
you're tuning in from, and mygoodness, you're everywhere, but some areas
even more so than others. Soshout out to our Aging Gratefully family tuning
in around the United States. Thankyou, glorious Aging Rebels souls. I
appreciate every single one of you,and don't forget. Our show's theme song
(25:11):
is Aging Gratefully by singer, songwritertalented musician kind Man, who's been on
the show before. I invite youto go show Jim some Aging Gratefully love.
And if Aging Gratefully the song isnot yet on your playlist, make
sure that you add it. Youwill love listening to that outside of the
show as much as I do.So welcome back. It's just us today,
(25:34):
you and me, and we're settingour compass towards Aging Gratefully. What
fun we are having? So inanswering that question. There will we talked
about before break, there will bea broad spectrum of answers from all over
the world. And I asked youprior to break, how are you doing?
(25:55):
And knowing we have listeners, aswe've shared from everywhere, the answers
will very accordingly. Some will saythat they have vast and the new found
discovery of life interrupted. They havetaken notice because life's resets, which actually
was hit for them, not ontheir own, but that they have come
to know a new way of lifethat they may have never before discovered had
(26:18):
it not been mandated by outside persuasioncast upon them. So it seems that
some out there have navigated okay,and others quite well, and others have
undergone unfortunately extreme hardship. Some whoalso teeter totter between both good and bad,
recognizing the benefits while at the sametime and during the realities of the
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challenges brought alongside it. You know, we can be both. It's interesting
the collage of circumstances that life canbring our way. That we are either
doing good or bad, that wefeel up or down, that things are
in our favor or they're not.That life is amazing or life feels grim
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or or or. I want topose the question as to why it has
to be either or? Why dowe believe that we have to be one
or the other? Why is theanswer to are you having a good day?
Actually a yes or no question?Why do we have to definitively side
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with one perspective lens as we analyzethe state of lifeness. I believe wholeheartedly
that it can be and often isand not or. I believe that life
is full of ends, and thatwe can find ourselves on both ends of
the spectrum at the very same timeas we emotionally ping pong back and forth
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between the realities of our emotional andsituational outlooks. Do you believe that you
can be happy and sad at thevery same time. I've been there,
so I believe we can. Infact, that's how I know we can.
I've been happy, so incredibly euphoricallyhappy about a life celebration, a
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pinnacle achievement in milestone, and Iam full of elation about it. And
at the same time, I havefound myself facing tragedy in another area.
Life is a mixed back. Recently, we had the joy of celebrating my
mother's birthday with her. Oh whata gift, And at nearly the same
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time, I found myself facing theharsh reality of losing an animal that was
the horse of my lifetime and ahuge part of our family's life for decades,
the very horse I trusted with whatI value most in life, the
very children I celebrate so many pinnaclelife milestones. I found myself sitting down
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in his stall, with his tiredand weary yet beautiful head resting in my
lap, making the decision I haddreaded and never wanted to make, but
new as I sat there and lovinglyrubbed him with tears streaming down my face,
that he needed me to. Ashis eyes conveyed, he, without
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a shadow of a doubt, hadgiven in, and that he had done
so ever valiantly he made it veryclear that he had no more to give.
You see, life collides like wavescrashing against the rocky shoreline, and
sometimes it's more gentle, like arolling tide softly kissing the beach shore.
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And sometimes you get both crashing wavesand a rolling tide. No, that
wasn't me slipping in a subliminal footballmessage, or was it all at once.
Life shows I can't define this asjust happy. I can't define this
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as just sad. It's a mixedbag of both, each having the fullness
and depth of the emotion they bringpure authentic happiness, heartbreaking, real sadness.
To bring happy and sad together wouldbe like the word sappy. But
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that's already a word, and it'smeaning not appropriate anyway. Had doesn't work
either, and it's already a wordtoo. But what about hap sad?
Hap sad captures them both. Hapsad honors the fact that they are both
real and both occurring simultaneously. Ithink hapshat sad should be a word,
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because how often in life are wehappy and sad hap sad a wedding at
the same time we face an unexpectedfuneral? Hap sad for sure, definitely
hap sad. Hap sad is alot of what happens in life, a
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mother giving birth while someone else inthe family receiving a dreaded diagnosis. Does
this mean we pull from the happyside to acknowledge the sad, that we
steal all the happy so that wecan be in the sadness. No,
I don't think that that is fairto either to contaminate one with the other,
is not allowing each to be itsown energy. How can we be
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both? How can we have tearsof joy and tears of suffering at the
very same time for two different occurrences. Because we are human beings, That's
why, and sometimes that's just theway things be. Being human means we
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feel, we experience, we empathize, sympathize, have tears, have christ
sob hurts, suffer, heartbreaking,counter loss. And being human means we
have the grandest capacity and capacity toexperience joy, love, happiness, wonder,
bliss, delight, pleasure, andso many other wonderful sentiments that take
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our emotions on what feels like apedal to the metal joy ride with no
governor and no end. This iswhat we want. We welcome all the
good emotions. We want the hapwithout the sad, bring on the halp.
But we know it's not possible tobe in bliss all the time,
because shia taki mushrooms happen in life, right and when sheep happen. We
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have to do our best we canwith what we have, with where we
are in life, and it's easyto let these things, little by little
erode away. At our sanctuary ofself. And for some it may already
be in a delicate situation. Youmay be in a delicate place before all
this happened, So depending on circumstancesand what else is going on in life.
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As part of our aging gratefully journey, I believe it's important for us
to mine our life and find ourbarriers that prevent us from living our best
life now and replace them with greatness. That's why today we're setting our virtual
compass towards aging gratefully as we seton this journey of living our best life
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now and discover the many things thatwe can bring along that journey to help
us do that. Loyal listeners knowby now my goodness and I a word
enthusiast, but I created an acronymfor aging gratefully, one that we will
explore, letter by letter to uncoverthe greatest route to set our compass direct
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destination to aging gratefully our whole lifethrough. And that's this week's show dedication.
By the way, I didn't forgetwhile later in the show, it
is to aging gratefully this show,this phrase that we've coined, this way
of living for you out there listeningI remind you that I did put a
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spin on the traditional spelling of theword gratefully g r t E f U
l y, and I spell itgreat capital fullL right in the middle with
a little y. It was importantfor me to capture the essence of how
I wanted us to age great andfull in the spirit of gratitude. Oh
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yes, and our aging gratefully alphabetsuit for the Psyche this week is a
quote written by me. Quote.Beauty is illuminated as we grow older through
the clarifying process of discovering new realmsof insight, knowing and understanding a right
of p passage society commonly refers toas wisdom. So about aging, the
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word itself seems to have a negativeconnotation by many, and nothing could be
further from the truth. By definition, aging is described as the process of
growing old. But I say,with adventure, pact and your aging gratefully
luggage, you'll never grow old.And if you find yourself slipping into old
viewpoints, we'll be here to remindyou to never act your age. So
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let's dissect aging gratefully one letter ata time. A in aging equals adventure,
by the way, and that's somethingso important to incorporate into our Aging
Gratefully life expeditions. It actually meansan unusual and exciting, typically hazardous experience
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or activity, daring and exciting activitycalling for enterprise and enthusiasms. But how
interesting adventure is laced with a bitof hazard to make it even more exciting.
So how will you set your compassto include some hazardous adventure. We've
had many guests on this show talkabout their adventures, but I think of
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our very first Aging Gratefully episode whenmy book publisher editor dear friend Cleone Read
came on the show. She talkedabout how working my book Sunrises and Sunsets,
Final Affairs Sports with Clai Finesse andFunctionality, And I mean we were
in contact on a regular basis asshe was editing furiously and we were creating
(36:38):
the greatest work that we possibly couldfor you out there in this book.
But in doing that, she said, it awakened and inspired her to be
more in life. Now, whenI say that, I just have to
tell you that I don't know toomany people that are in life or were
even in life more than Cleone wasat that time. But she had some
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fears, and she decided that afterwe published my book that it was high
time she faced to them. Soone of her fears was actually a fear
of heights. So Cleone actually bookeda trip to Costa Rica with her husband,
my publisher, Bob Read, andthey invited some friends to come along.
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Now Cleone didn't just book a sightseeing trip. That's not how Cleone
is. She actually spent If youknew her, you would just you would
love her. And everybody that hurther on the show couldn't help. But
I've done so. But she spenta good portion of her life as a
professional clown. And I mean shereally actually embodies so many beautiful abuts of
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clowning. She's written a book aboutit. So somebody that can bring so
much joy to others, just evenin that to say she doesn't clown around
like a professional clown, Oh mygoodness, she does clown around. But
she was serious when she decided toshake her life up. So she figured
the best way to face her heightswas to go zip lining. And so
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can you imagine to be scared ofheights and to get on that zip lining,
And that's exactly what she does.She books this trip and she decides
that she's no longer going to belimited or confined. So at seventy two
years old, she and her husband, Bob, who's a few years older
than her, did that trip andthey didn't do just one zip line.
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They did seven and it's just amazing. So I know she wanted to back
out. She wondered sometimes what onearth she was thinking, because you have
to book these trips in advance,and definitely this had its share of daring
and hazardous that we learned really makesan adventure a true adventure. It just
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kind of kept her going. Shekind of clung to that, and she
got her mind right too, whichI feel really helped her be successful.
She looked at a lot of picturesof people zip lining. She prepared mentally,
and I laughed so hard when Ireceived an email from her and she
had photoshopped her face and body ontoa zip lining photograph. But it was
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her way of making peace with herfears, of mentally preparing for what she
was setting the stage to do.And she did all seven zip lines,
and I dare say she's been adventuringever since. And I actually feel like
she was doing it ahead of time. So she's like adventure Zone on steroids,
and that's who she is, atrue lover of life, of living
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and aging gratefully, just extraordinary.So I remind you I am continually as
inspired by each of you out there. So what I'm asking is what is
in your heart of hearts aspirations,what fears do you want to adventurously conquer
like our beautiful friend Cleone did withher zip lining. So a equals adventure,
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and I want you to seek outways you can bring some into your
life. The G and aging standsfor gratitude, and this is such a
big one. There are so manyways we can give and receive gratitude.
But what I'm asking of my incredibleaging rebels far and wide around the world,
is that you actually live gratitude.Living gratitude is a way of life.
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It's not a deed or an act, but instead a continual way of
being. So there's so many waysto do this, but it starts with
the pledge to simply begin. Andif you're beginning this gratitude lifestyle, you
would simply commence to find all thethings you already have that you're grateful for.
Things like that we often take forgranted. Identify those things and be
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grateful for them. You can dowhat many guests on this show have talked
about doing and begin a gratitude journal. When you begin living in gratitude,
gratitudinal living becomes your normal way ofbeing, and you experience a shift in
perspectives in what I call also theboomerang effect that I talk about a lot,
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all that you are grateful for seemsto snowball and even be returned to
you. So onto ie in aging, and it is for inspired, which
means of extraordinary quality, as ifarising from some external creative impulse of a
person also exhibiting a creative impulse inthe activity specified. So you out there,
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what inspires you? How are youinspired? How do you inspire others?
What types of inspiration moves you tolive? Inspired is a beautiful thing,
But I also know a long life'spath, it's kind of easy to
lose your inspiration somewhere along the way. Call it the school of hard knocks.
This kind of doesn't always. Itdoesn't kind of a line up with
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how we envision life to be,and many people find themselves challenged to identify
what actually is able to spark theircreator of impulse. The best advice I
have for you is to look back. We're talking about that letter to our
younger self once again, to whereyou once were, what once upon a
time inspired you greatly. For mostof the time we are, most of
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us are not much different. Maybea little more experience, a little more
adventure, a little bit more lifelived, but we're not that much different
from the person that we've always been. In those inspirations of your youth,
they are still there waiting to beaccessed and treasured. The goal is to
have things in your life that keepyou inspired. Now. To be clear,
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inspiration is something you feel from thevery core of your being, and
motivation is what you used to bringit to reality. So many people confuse
purpose with inspiration, but purpose,actually, in my opinion, is why
to do the what as If youenjoy crocheting and that is something that really
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inspires you, but you crochet beautifullittle let's say warmth the beanie hats for
newborn babies for your local hospital,then the creating and giving of the beanies
is your purpose for your inspiration.At the end of the day, if
you can use what inspires you towardsa special purpose and be motivated to do
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so. This is the full circleculmination of living inspired now in an aging
is for nurture, care for andencourage the growth and development of is what
it means the process of caring forand encouraging the growth and development of someone
or something. So nurturing this isimportant in life. We receive something very
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special in return when we do this. Nurturing is certainly I would call it
an act of love, compassion,benevolence. So we can nurture just about
anything more often people nurture animals,plants, garden, a home. But
it's important also to note that wemust also nurture ourselves. Nurturing is loving
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kindness extended, in my opinion,and when we do this, it seems
emotional deposits are also made into ourbeing, accounts that fill us up with
joy and meaning. It's interesting becausemany studies were done about those who recently
found themselves isolated due to our globalpandemic, and there was an epidemic and
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is an epidemic of loneliness in theworld, and it's the individuals who had
pets and other family members or socialinfrastructures or friends around that were able to
better deal with the seclusion, butnamely those who had pets found a therapeutic
gain through the nurturing, and we'rebetter able to manage such difficult times.
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So my advice nurture away, butdon't forget that you two deserve some of
that caring attention, because we can'tgive away what we don't have, so
it's important to make nurturing you prioritytoo. Now, g in aging is
forgive, give, giving of yourself. It's not difficult to do this,
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and what a beautiful way to bemore in life. Giving is a great
thing to do for others. Butwhat is so incredibly ironic is again the
boomerang. The boomerang effect doesn't play, and when you give, it returns
back to you with incredible bounty.So giving is simple and often an extension
of kindness. One example that Iso love I recall that a paramedic driver
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was actually called to transfer a ladywho had been battling cancer to hospice.
So she was finally admitted to hospice, so he showed up at her home
early in the morning. He talkedto her along the route as he recognized
this was a trip nobody ever wantsto go on. Her spirits were good,
probably putting up a front to himto thwart off any pity or awkward
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the conversation it flowed freely and heartfeltease. She talked about her life and
the journey that got her to thisday, and she mentioned that the thing
she was going to miss the mostwas morning sunrises, something that she so
enjoyed. And with that, afew miles up the road, the driver
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pulled off. She asked if everythingwas okay, and he said, yes,
it's great. He opened the backof the vehicle and he pulled out
a folding chair, and he walkedback to the vehicle and said, let's
watch today's sunrise together, and theydid. You see, giving can be
free but priceless. Giving to meis currency of the soul. So giving
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as an incredible part of aging gratefullyThat makes life rich. So that's aging
adventure, gratitude inspired, nurture andgive onto gratefully and gratefully grace redesign,
empathy, action, truth, faith, unlimited, live, love you g
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and gratefully is for grace. Simplyput, it's the context I mean for
it is to be courteous to offergoodwill, but it's also to be gracious.
But I want us to live ingrace to truly achieve aging gratefully.
This is the route I want usto take. I found an acronym for
grace that I really liked at smartbriefdot com and they say G and grace
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is for generosity, the will todo something more for others. ARE is
for respect, the dignity of lifeand work. A is for action.
The mechanism for change see is compassionthe concern for others. E is energy
the spirit that catalyzes us. SoI love that and I want everybody to
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age gratefully by incorporating great grace intotheir lives. Our is for redesign,
and it means to design something againor in a different way. Oh boy,
So life forces us to do thissometimes, but there are oftentimes we're
not very good students, all ofus. You know, we have our
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moments, and I believe, muchlike modernizing our homes, we need to
be sure that we're keeping ourselves inour most innovative state of lifeness. And
sometimes things become habits that don't serveus. Sometimes a life tsunami puts us
in a state of chaos. We'renot in our greatest space, so that
we must be willing to recognize whenit is time and also be willing to
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redesign as life puts us at suchintersections and crossroads. Redesigning is important and
it keeps our compass pointed towards ourtrue north. Now. E is for
empathy, and it means the abilityto understand and share the feelings of another.
And our paramedic was obviously experiencing thiswith certainty in the story I just
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shared. But empathy is also,in my opinion, the ability to move
ourselves out of the way, andit allows us to put ourselves in the
other person's point of view, situation, or perspective. Empathy is that little
tugging of the heart when you feel. When you feel is definitely good.
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So empathy is good. A isfor action and it means the factor process
of doing something, typically to achievean aim. Our actions here are to
inspire and instill practices for aging gratefully, and that's what we do, and
you out there definitely share that actionplan without a doubt. But action can
be important because it's how we improve. Action itself is the very element we
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are exercising. When I say oftenthat we are works in progress headed in
the right direction, that is action, working progress, continuing on that path.
If there's an area of your lifeyou want to improve, action will
get you the results you desire,and in action we'll keep you where you
are. So action is a trulyimportant way we achieve aging gratefully. Now,
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t and gratefully is for truth.What is your truth? Now?
That's an interesting question about truth isbecause it is defined as the quality or
state of being true, but alsoas a fact or belief that is accepted
as true. Let me make nomistake about it. The last one can
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be a total spoiler of our compassdestination of aging gratefully, because sometimes we
accept the wrong things as truth.So I will take this opportunity to remind
each of us to check ourselves atthe door for the lies we tell ourselves
or erroneous beliefs we allow. InA popular one is definitely that growing older
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means everything is downhill, not true. So in living your truth, be
sure that you are fact checking thebeliefs that could be holding you back from
aging gratefully and living your best life. Now. Now, the f and
gratefully is for faith. Faith meansso many things. What a huge word
with a world of possibilities and definitions, But I mean faith in the context
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of several meanings, but one tokeep the faith however that relates to you.
Faith also means complete trust or confidencein someone or something, and I
definitely want each listener to have absolutefaith in themselves and the destination they wish
to achieve, the kind of lifethey aspire, and their absolute ability to
achieve it. Now, let meremind you that faith is intimately connected to
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hope. But I am using faithhere because one cannot even have hope without
first having faith. So I wantevery listener to keep their faith in all
the aspirations and ideals they hold you. And gratefully is for unlimited. It
means not limited or restricted in termsof number, quantity, and extent.
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And here's what I have to sayon this. So many people feel that
aging is full of limitations, andI want you to know, believe,
and hold sacred is that your agingjourney is unlimited without boundaries. Regardless of
circumstances, each of you and ourunique situations still absolutely have unlimited ways you
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can achieve your aging. Gratefully goalsl and gratefully is for live. It
simply means to remain alive. Butlet me be crystal clear here. I've
said it before, but some thingsare definitely worth repeating. There's being alive
and there's living. Being alive canhappen for us like our hearts, beating
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our blood, like breathing, themagnificent orchestration of our organs, autopiloting and
their dance of effortless perfection. Ideally, but living that is you and I
making a choice, choosing to bekey and essential stakeholders, and the designing
of a life well lived. Livingis on us. We decide what that
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looks like. But a rest assuredaging rebels are in the business of living
now. The other ll end gratefullyis for love. Wow. What a
word. So they say love makesthe world go round. Its definition is
actually an intense feeling of deep affection. Trust me when I tell you that
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if you are practicing all of theseattributes and are aging gratefully acronym, you
will be so full of love youwon't know what to do. Love is
all around and most of all,love is you speaking of you. The
why and gratefully is actually for you, every single one of you out there.
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You are aging gratefully. You arethe very essence of all that Aging
gratefully embodies, and because of that, the answers are in you. If
you find yourself a little off path, remember why is elder? You is
still you. If life throws youa curveball, you are capable to catch
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it and return to sender. Ifyou get off in the woods while navigating
your compass towards aging gratefully, youhave all the tools to look at that
compass and get back on the pathin the full light of living your best
life now. Because you are magnificentlyresourcefully, innovatively, magically, brilliantly,
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remarkably, incredibly, genuinely, amazingly, unquestionably, completely, undeniably astonishingly,
you uniquely and conceivably fab you leslieextraordinary. May each of you keep your
compass set towards aging gratefully, yourtrue north adventures, gratitude, inspired,
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nurture, give, grace, design, empathy, action, truth, faith,
unlimited live love you. You've beenlistening to Aging Gratefully, and I'm
your host, gerontologist Holly Kelly.Thank you for listening. If you've enjoyed
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our message, I invite you tosubscribe and share it with others. May
you remember to never act your ageand that age is just a number.
And may you enjoy and embrace thecoming week in the spirit of gratitude.
Until we meet again, here's toliving your best life now. I used
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to think time was my enemy.My future wasn't looking good s worried about
the things I couldn't see. Icouldn't see the things I could. I
was aging, fearfully, worrying mylife away, when all along I should
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have been thankful for every day.Finally made a friend of time. Now
you could say that I'm aging gratefully, Aging gratefully