Ever notice how families considering senior-living moves seem to slip into familiar “roles”? After 18 years and thousands of consults, I can predict which of four archetypes will call me next: the Denial ostrich, the Always-Yes rabbit, the Dysfunctional tug-of-war team, or the Guilt-Ridden promise-keeper. Spotting your role early turns panic into a plan and saves both money and heartache.
Each type brings genuine love—and very real roadblocks. In today’s episode I share the tell-tale signs of each family personality, the costly mistakes I’ve witnessed, and the practical steps that move everyone forward with dignity.
Chapters:
Inside the Four Family Archetypes
Denial – “Mom’s fine, right?”
I hear this after holiday visits: “She’s lost weight and seems forgetful, but we’ll act in a few years.” One client’s 90-year-old mom kept driving—until she parked in front of the grocery store entrance and wandered inside, motor running. Denial often masks overwhelm, so I urge families to create a shortlist of communities or in-home supports before crisis strikes.
Always-Yes – The Enthusiastic Rabbit
These families sign on the dotted line after one tour—sometimes in the wrong level of care. A daughter paid assisted-living rates for seven years even though her mom needed only meals, draining funds that should have lasted decades. My job is to pump the brakes, match real needs to services, and protect the budget.
Dysfunctional – Sibling Cross-fire
Old rivalries resurface fast. Recently, a mom told her Texas daughter she must move back, while assuring her Florida daughter the opposite—fueling a bi-state standoff. Three-way calls or even short-term family therapy keep the focus on Mom’s safety, not purple-boot memories.
Guilt-Ridden – “I promised Dad I’d never move him.”
Guilt can freeze decisions until disaster hits. One devoted daughter waited a year—then Dad vanished for two days, driving hundreds of miles before a neighbor spotted him and called police. Reframing the move as protecting dignity and safety helps families act before the next 911 moment.
Across all four types, the cure is education plus a trusted, local placement partner who asks the right questions and narrows choices to the true best fit.
Ready to Move Forward?
If you recognized yourself—or a sibling—in any of these stories, let’s talk. Book a no-pressure call. And if this episode helped you, please share Aging & Style with a friend and leave a quick review. Together, we can trade overwhelm for a clear, compassionate plan.
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