September 17, 2025 • 27 mins
What if your voice was stolen—and you had to fight to reclaim it? For women over 50 searching for reinvention, empowerment, and healing from trauma, Diane Wyzga’s journey shows how finding your voice can transform silence into strength.
A survivor of incest, Diane turned her pain into purpose. She shares how personal growth after 50 and storytelling for women helped her break the silence and step into authentic expression. From Navy nurse at just 21, to lawyer arguing before Supreme Court justices, to storytelling consultant, every chapter of her life became part of her reinvention after 50.
Diane reveals how childhood trauma silences intuition and shapes choices for decades—and how reclaiming your story creates courage, resilience, and transformation. Her life embodies adventure and empowerment stories for women over 50: skydiving, scuba diving, flying planes, and walking the 500-mile Camino de Santiago. When she nearly abandoned her pilgrimage, a note from a friend reminded her: “The fact that you showed up is well done.”
For every woman wondering if her best years are behind her, Diane offers a challenge: “How do you know?” These conversations remind us that trauma and empowerment at any stage, and that sharing our stories builds community, resilience, and hope—story by story.
Resources
For similar stories on finding your voice over 50 Check out episodes 132 and 143 and if you like podcast for women over 50 The Late Bloomer Living Podcast embraces change, sparks joy, to live playfully at any age. Host Yvonne Marchese chats with inspiring guest who share practical, real-world tips for navigating midlife and beyond.
Diane Wyzga – Storytelling Consultant, Speaker & Host of Stories From Women Who Walk
🌐 Website: Quarter Moon Story Arts 💼 LinkedIn: Diane Wyzga 🎧 Podcast: Stories From Women Who Walk 🤝 Book a Conversation: Hire Me
Beverley Glazer – Transformation Coach & Host of Aging with Purpose and Passion
📧 Email: Bev@reinventImpossible.com
🌐 Website
💼 LinkedIn
📘 Facebook
👥 Women Over 50 Rock Group
📸 Instagram
🎁 BONUS: Take your first step to clarity, courage and momentum. Your free checklist: → From Stuck to Unstoppable – is here.
https://reinvent-impossible.aweb.page/from-stuck-to-unstoppable
Have feedback or a powerful story that's worth telling? Contact us at info@Reinventimpossible.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Beverley Glazer (00:03):
Have you ever wondered how the stories we tell
ourselves can really change ourthinking?
Welcome to Aging with Purposeand Passion.
I'm Beverly Glazer and, ifyou're new to my world, I
provide tools for women toovercome challenges and connect
the missing links in both theirpersonal and professional lives,
(00:25):
and you can find me onreinventimpossiblecom.
I want you to meet Diane Wysga.
Diane is a fearless voice ofresilience.
She was a US Navy nurse, alawyer, an educator, a
storyteller, helping sociallyconscious professionals and
(00:46):
organizations to deliver theirauthentic story and connect and
engage with their audience.
Hi, diane, welcome .
Diane Wysga (00:57):
Thank you, Bev.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Thank you.
Beverley Glazer (01:00):
It's always great to talk to you.
I want to start with somethingthat is pretty personal, but I
think it's very importantbecause we all come from
somewhere and it is what makesus and you are, so resilient,
and your resilience stems frombeing a survivor of incest.
(01:23):
Can you tell us a little bitabout that time?
Diane Wysga (01:46):
That was a later in life, I would say, oh, probably
into my early 30s, before aperceptive therapist asked some
questions, questions, and weuncovered what I knew was there
(02:06):
but didn't know was there.
And so I began to do the workaround discovering what incest
was and what it meant to be anincest survivor.
And what I learned for myselfas an incest survivor and I've
done a lot of work around it,and so I've gone on to speak to
(02:28):
other women and men as well isthat what is taken away from us
is our voice.
Because when we try, aschildren, to say this has
happened, that has happened, andwe are denied you're a liar,
(02:54):
you're telling stories thatcouldn't possibly be, then we
begin to do a couple of things.
We begin to doubt ourselves, webegin to doubt the intuition
that serves us well in lifesaying danger zone, danger zone,
don't do this.
And we also begin to doubt ourvoice.
(03:15):
If I can't get someone to payattention to what's happening to
me by using my voice, by usingmy voice, apparently my voice
isn't worth anything.
(03:47):
And I find that, as I look backon life, that I kept pushing
through in areas where I neededto be heard, but I wasn't
confident of the way in which Iwas speaking, and I wasn't
confident that I was using myown voice, my own words, my own
way.
So, having done the work around, that gave me an opportunity to
say who here is experiencingthe same thing.
Not that my life is aprescription for how someone
else should live, but my life,sharing the vulnerability of it,
(04:12):
sharing the challenges and theawarenesses of it, is a way of
saying, as CS Lewis did so wellwhat you do, I thought I was the
only one.
And that, right there, is thekey for why we have a voice, why
(04:32):
we share our stories, and we doit in a way that invites
someone else to sit with us andsay I thought I was the only one
and I'm not.
So we're building communitystory by story.
Beverley Glazer (04:48):
Beautifully said.
But you didn't start as astoryteller.
You started really your careeras a US Army nurse.
How did that come through?
When did that?
Diane Wysga (05:05):
Yes, so the storytelling part is probably
something that was always therein the background, because I do
remember my mother saying that'sa story, isn't it Like?
Well, I'm just practicing forlater on.
The choice to go into the USNavy was in part because of my
dad and his brothers.
So my dad was a radio man inWorld War II.
(05:28):
He served on a Navy ship andhis five brothers also were
serving in World War II indifferent branches of the
military.
One of them was actually on aship that was bombed in Pearl
Harbor when the Japaneseinvasion came in and they all
came home.
They all came.
How they made it home, I don'tknow, but there was just
(05:50):
something about the romance ofthat.
It sounds a little bit odd, butthe romance of doing something
a little bit different.
And I was always in love withthe movie South Pacific.
So to me the idea of being aNavy nurse meant that I was
going to put on a really cooluniform and I was going to go to
Hawaii and I was going to doplays and hang out and do really
(06:10):
fun stuff.
I still love the movie or theplay.
So that was the impetus for it,my nursing degree.
Many of my colleagues went intoarea hospitals in Massachusetts
and New York, connecticut, and Ijust said you know what?
(06:32):
I want to do somethingdifferent and I think that's a
hallmark of me.
I want to do somethingdifferent so, prompted by my
relatives' experience, my dad'sexperience and I still have my
dad's Navy peacoat barely canbutton it because he was just a
little drip of water when hewent in.
In fact, many of the young menwho signed up to serve were
(06:58):
underage and they got aroundthat by putting a piece of paper
in their shoe that had thenumber 18 written on it, and my
dad did this.
So when he was asked, are youover 18?
He could say yes, I am.
(07:27):
So I will tell you that thethree years I served I did
pediatric nursing the whole time, surgical peds and then medical
peds were three of the mostrewarding years of my life.
I mean, I'm all of 21 years oldand I'm in an open bed 30 bed
open ward full of kids and therewas a four crib nursery and
there was a two bed step downunit and I had corpsmen and
corpswomen older than mereporting to me, had corpsmen
and corpswomen older than mereporting to me.
There were LPNs who knew muchmore nursing than I did.
(07:47):
So you learn.
You learn fast.
You learn by observing, youlearn by listening, you learn by
watching.
Beverley Glazer (07:54):
You learn by saying I don't know, that's huge
, I don't know, that is reallyhuge and humble too, but that's
how you learn.
Diane Wysga (08:05):
That's how you learn.
And you also learned the hardway about marriage.
Oh, you've read my book?
Yes, yes, I did.
And this is key, I think, tonot trusting yourself and your
instincts and your intuition.
I never should have marriedthis person.
(08:26):
He was a good person, but hewasn't a good person for me, and
I could remember leading up tothat time and sharing those
doubts and being told well, youwaited until you were older, in
your 30s, to be married andyou've got cold feet and once
it's underway, you'll be fine.
And it wasn't.
(08:47):
It simply wasn't.
And there were signs along theway.
That was the other thing, but Iignored them or disregarded
them and it's all back to that.
What can I trust?
Back to that.
What can I trust?
What do I know about myself?
What is myself telling me?
(09:08):
In what words is it telling me?
In what actions is it tellingme?
And so when his year-long affaircame to light, it had come just
(09:28):
at a time when I had lost myposition in a law firm because
of a merger with a bigger firmand also my mom had died of
undiagnosed lymphoma.
So within the space of ninemonths, there was this triple
whammy of losses.
And talk about coming back fromthat.
You don't do it on your own?
(09:49):
There's no way.
You do it on your own.
You really do rely on thekindness of strangers, people
who come into your life, and youhave no idea how they got there
.
And yet they showed up, andthey were supposed to be there.
Beverley Glazer (10:13):
And another thing also finding your voice in
an abusive marriage, being aperson who has survived incest.
This is so difficult.
But you got a law degree, youbecame a lawyer, you became an
(10:34):
advocate.
How did you find your voice,diane?
That's so difficult.
Diane Wysga (10:40):
That's a great question, bev.
I imagine that over time therewere opportunities where the
story that wanted to be told wasmore important than what I was
ignoring.
So when I teach story, I startat a place where I absolutely
(11:03):
believe that my client knows thestory she wants to tell.
She just needs it listened outof her.
She wants to tell, she justneeds it listened out of her.
She has the words, but shedoesn't know that she has them.
And so if I start from thatplace of belief, and I also
(11:23):
start from the place of what Iwas taught as a storyteller,
which is the story comes throughus.
There's a story that wants tobe heard, because story is
organic and it follows us homewhen it sleeps in our bed.
So I would say that over time,the power of the story that
(11:44):
wanted to be told was moreimportant than my resistance.
If I can point to a time whenit really showed up and I think
that was the bend in the road itwas in law school.
And in law school you can doone of two things If you're an
(12:05):
overachiever, you can join amoot court or you can write for
the law review.
And because I always knew that,I was a talker because my mom
used to say this house will beso quiet when you're gone, which
I think she meant in a good way.
But I became part of the mootcourt team and there you're
(12:27):
handed with a partner a casethat's going on to the appellate
court and you have to argueboth sides of that case with
just the facts that you have tohand and the role that you play.
From appellant to appelleeyou're shifting back and forth.
That goes on through the wholeof the competition and I found
(12:48):
that I had a gift for it.
I found that I had a gift forthinking on my feet, for
speaking.
In fact, someone said you couldread the Manhattan phone book
and I would be paying attentionto you, and it was probably one
of the first times where notonly my voice was acknowledged
but I was rewarded for it, andby that I mean at the very end
(13:11):
of the competition.
So you're weeded out, likebasketball teams are, and you
start competing on it, and thenyou get to two teams who go to
the nationals or the champions,and that's what happened in this
case.
I was arguing with a fellow whohad been a Chautauqua tent
revivalist preacher, so you canimagine.
(13:33):
You know what I was up against.
But the opportunity to arguethat case in front of a panel of
sitting Supreme Court chiefjustices from five different
states and then winning, I thinkwas the time when I said, well,
there's got to be somethinggoing on here.
(13:53):
And that, I think, launched mefurther into law and then
eventually to litigationconsulting, where I was helping
plaintiffs lawyers tell thestory of what happened to their
clients to a judge, to a juryand in the meantime or during
(14:15):
the course of that, changinglives really and saving lives.
I know that sounds huge, butwhen you have someone who's
injured and taking their case totrial, it's a crapshoot.
You might win, you might not.
There's no way to know what'sgoing to happen but the most
(14:41):
important thing is that thatperson or that family gets a
chance to tell their story andto be seen and heard and
listened to, even if they don'twin.
That, I think, is life-savingand that is why I believe that
using our voice, using the powerof our voice, figuring out what
our words are, is life-saving.
Beverley Glazer (15:08):
That's a really interesting perception, because
anyone who's gone to trial, youthink of the win.
You don't think of expressingyour voice.
For you, what it really was wascoming out of yourself, finding
(15:33):
your voice, having peoplelisten to your voice, and that
is so empowering for all of us,particularly women.
And you also did so much more,not just speaking, but doing.
You were a skydiver.
You fly a plane Incredible.
You walked the Camino.
You were a plane.
You incredible.
You walked the Camino.
(15:54):
You were a scuba diver.
What did that do for you?
Because that's more than voice.
That's finding an adventure allover the place Life,
experiencing life.
Diane Wysga (16:10):
Oh, how wonderful that you said that.
And thank you for observingwhat you did about trials,
because it's true, when we go in, the idea is to win.
Of course it is to win because,for all the good reasons of
helping whoever was damaged andstopping the negligence, but to
come away with a sense of atleast I told people what had
(16:34):
happened, is important.
As to the adventure part of it,I think that there are two
things going on there.
I think it's nature, who I amnaturally and nurture, and by
that I mean to say that my momwas the one who encouraged and
(16:55):
said okay, and I was thinkingabout this the other day because
and I hadn't thought about itin a while but when I graduated
from college and in betweengraduation and then showing up
for the naval training school, Ibackpacked Europe, and this was
(17:15):
back when we had no cell phones, no internet.
You know, the best my parentscould hope for was a postcard.
The fact that they allowed me togo is, I think, maybe what it
does is reminds me of what mymom used to say Now I can lead
(17:38):
you around by the nose untilyou're 21, but after that you're
on your own.
And I had the let's Go Europebook which many college students
who were tracking all overEurope had then, and I had a URL
pass which allowed me to get onand off trains wherever I
wanted to.
I had a general idea of thedirection I was headed in.
(17:58):
I had a borrowed backpack fromsomebody my dad knew and I went
and that has always been.
That really has always been theway with me.
Let's give this a go.
I never jumped out of aperfectly good airplane before,
(18:20):
but let's see what that feelslike and it's that sense that is
the adventure in me, I believehas always been there, and a
recognition that we're going todie at some moment in time, so
(18:41):
you may as well live untilyou're dead.
And this idea of trying it whenwe retire, trying it later,
trying it when, if there'ssomething we want to do now if
you can go for it, and this iswhat you probably mean by show
(19:02):
up in both your life and yourwork.
Beverley Glazer (19:06):
Expand on that Just showing up, just showing up
, just showing up.
Diane Wysga (19:17):
There's two things.
One so yes, I did walk theCamino de Santiago and every day
that experience is front andcenter in my life.
I call it BC and AC, beforeCamino and after Camino.
It was that transformative ofan adventure for me and it
(19:38):
almost didn't happen.
I was in the plane going, wewere on, getting ready to land
in Madrid, and I'm looking outat Spain and I'm thinking to
myself that this is thestupidest idea, and I've had
lots of them.
This is the stupidest idea I'veever had in my entire life.
There is no way I can walk 500miles.
It ain't going to happen.
(19:59):
I don't know what I wasthinking of.
I'm getting off this plane, I'mpicking up my backpack and I'm
turning around and I'm headedback home.
That's all there is to it.
And as I was putting my bookinto the carry-on backpack that
I brought on the plane, therewas a book of poetry that I
carried along and in the pagesof that book I had inserted
(20:21):
cards and letters from reallyclose family and friends that
were to be encouraging to me asI walked.
And I drew out one, and Ididn't intend to do this, but I
drew out a letter that had beenwritten to me by one of the
members of my StoryWorksstorytelling troupe, and she
(20:43):
starts the letter by saying welldone.
And I'm looking at this andthinking what does she mean?
And she says in the letter Isuppose you're wondering what I
mean by saying well done.
You haven't even begun yet.
And she said what I mean isthat, regardless of what happens
from here on out, the fact thatyou showed up is well done.
(21:08):
And that's how I ended upwalking the Camino.
And I think there is such truthin that that all we have to do
is show up and put one foot infront of the other.
The first step that's there.
Take that, and regardless ofwhat happens from then on out,
(21:31):
we showed up.
And I will tell you that storystill seems so much to me.
I will tell you that once wetake that first step, we're
usually inclined to take asecond and a third and to keep
on going.
But just that sense, it's notthat you finish something, it's
(21:52):
that you have the courage tostart it, whatever it is.
And so, to this very day, I owethat pilgrimage to Lorraine.
Beverley Glazer (22:03):
Well, that's a beautiful and wise words of
wisdom that you're tellingeverybody.
Because my next question iswhat would you tell older women
who feel that there's nothingleft, that the best of their
life is over?
Diane Wysga (22:23):
Well, you know, it's funny.
I imagine that if we lookedback at the end of each of our
decades, oh, those were the goodyears, and then we go live
another 10.
Oh, those were the good years,and then we live another 10.
How do you know that your bestyears are behind you?
(22:45):
I spent five consecutive daysout in the garden in honor of my
mom, who was a master gardener,and I thought that was a really
good way to honor Mother's Day.
And I've been thinking tomyself you know, there will come
a time when I can't be humpinga wheelbarrow full of manure
around the garden Is that mybest day Was being 20 or 30 or
(23:08):
40 or 50, my best years?
I don't know, because I don'tknow what's over the horizon,
and I would say that to claimthat the best years of our lives
are behind us is actually aclaim of fear and it's a claim
of ignorance, because we don'tknow.
(23:31):
We don't know whose life wewill change, we don't know whose
life we will save, we don'tknow how we will transform the
lives of those we serve bysharing our story with them.
We have no clue.
We absolutely have no clue,have no clue.
(23:58):
So the only way to know if thebest years of our life are truly
done and over with or theremight be another couple lurking
over the horizon is to do it,because you don't cross the
ocean by standing on the shore,you don't, and I can tell you
these things that I've done,they haven't been easy and they
haven't been simple and theyhaven't been, you know, like
(24:20):
rolling off a log and that's it.
But as I said earlier, my story, my life, is not a prescription
for your story.
In your life, you're the authorof your own story.
You're the author of your ownstory, you're the hero of your
own life, and nothing gives megreater joy than to see a woman
(24:43):
embrace the heroine in her ownlife and say what I didn't know
I could do, that I didn't know Icould say that, yeah.
So that's what I would say,because I have to say it to
myself.
Beverley Glazer (25:04):
Beautiful.
Thank you, Diane.
Diane Wisgat helps sociallyconscious professionals and
organizations to deliver theirauthentic voice and connect and
engage with their audience.
Diana, please tell us, wherecan you find that?
Where can people find you?
Diane Wysga (25:25):
The easiest place to find me is on my website.
It's Quartermoon Story Arts.
Me is on my website.
It's Quartermoon Story Arts.
You're always welcome to emailme, diane, at
quartermoonstoryartsnet.
I have a podcast that's been onthe airwaves for four years.
Do check it out.
It's called Stories from Womenwho Walk, and there are daily
(25:48):
60-second episodes aroundmotivation and inspiration and
all those other ations, and I'verecently started a sub-stack
account called Wisga on Words.
So one of those three placesyou're sure to get a hold of me.
Wonderful.
Beverley Glazer (26:04):
And all these links are in the show notes and
they will be on my site too, andthat's reinventimpossiblecom.
So, my friends, what's next foryou?
Are you just going through themotions or are you prepared to
level up your life?
Download From Stuck toUnstoppable to elevate your
life, and that also will be inthe show notes below.
(26:29):
You can connect with me that'sBeverley Galzer on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook.
That's Women Over 50 Rock, andyou can also schedule a quick
Zoom to talk personally with me.
I want to thank you all forlistening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
(26:49):
Please join me next week.
Subscribe, subscribe to theseepisodes and they will come into
your inbox.
And please drop us a review,send it to a friend and remember
you only have one life, so liveit with purpose and passion.
Wonderful.
Have you ever wondered how the stories we tell
ourselves can really change ourthinking?
Welcome to Aging with Purposeand Passion.
I'm Beverly Glazer and, ifyou're new to my world, I
provide tools for women toovercome challenges and connect
the missing links in both theirpersonal and professional lives,
(00:25):
and you can find me onreinventimpossiblecom.
I want you to meet Diane Wysga.
Diane is a fearless voice ofresilience.
She was a US Navy nurse, alawyer, an educator, a
storyteller, helping sociallyconscious professionals and
(00:46):
organizations to deliver theirauthentic story and connect and
engage with their audience.
Hi, diane, welcome .
Diane Wysga (00:57):
Thank you, Bev.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Thank you.
Beverley Glazer (01:00):
It's always great to talk to you.
I want to start with somethingthat is pretty personal, but I
think it's very importantbecause we all come from
somewhere and it is what makesus and you are, so resilient,
and your resilience stems frombeing a survivor of incest.
(01:23):
Can you tell us a little bitabout that time?
Diane Wysga (01:46):
That was a later in life, I would say, oh, probably
into my early 30s, before aperceptive therapist asked some
questions, questions, and weuncovered what I knew was there
(02:06):
but didn't know was there.
And so I began to do the workaround discovering what incest
was and what it meant to be anincest survivor.
And what I learned for myselfas an incest survivor and I've
done a lot of work around it,and so I've gone on to speak to
(02:28):
other women and men as well isthat what is taken away from us
is our voice.
Because when we try, aschildren, to say this has
happened, that has happened, andwe are denied you're a liar,
(02:54):
you're telling stories thatcouldn't possibly be, then we
begin to do a couple of things.
We begin to doubt ourselves, webegin to doubt the intuition
that serves us well in lifesaying danger zone, danger zone,
don't do this.
And we also begin to doubt ourvoice.
(03:15):
If I can't get someone to payattention to what's happening to
me by using my voice, by usingmy voice, apparently my voice
isn't worth anything.
(03:47):
And I find that, as I look backon life, that I kept pushing
through in areas where I neededto be heard, but I wasn't
confident of the way in which Iwas speaking, and I wasn't
confident that I was using myown voice, my own words, my own
way.
So, having done the work around, that gave me an opportunity to
say who here is experiencingthe same thing.
Not that my life is aprescription for how someone
else should live, but my life,sharing the vulnerability of it,
(04:12):
sharing the challenges and theawarenesses of it, is a way of
saying, as CS Lewis did so wellwhat you do, I thought I was the
only one.
And that, right there, is thekey for why we have a voice, why
(04:32):
we share our stories, and we doit in a way that invites
someone else to sit with us andsay I thought I was the only one
and I'm not.
So we're building communitystory by story.
Beverley Glazer (04:48):
Beautifully said.
But you didn't start as astoryteller.
You started really your careeras a US Army nurse.
How did that come through?
When did that?
Diane Wysga (05:05):
Yes, so the storytelling part is probably
something that was always therein the background, because I do
remember my mother saying that'sa story, isn't it Like?
Well, I'm just practicing forlater on.
The choice to go into the USNavy was in part because of my
dad and his brothers.
So my dad was a radio man inWorld War II.
(05:28):
He served on a Navy ship andhis five brothers also were
serving in World War II indifferent branches of the
military.
One of them was actually on aship that was bombed in Pearl
Harbor when the Japaneseinvasion came in and they all
came home.
They all came.
How they made it home, I don'tknow, but there was just
(05:50):
something about the romance ofthat.
It sounds a little bit odd, butthe romance of doing something
a little bit different.
And I was always in love withthe movie South Pacific.
So to me the idea of being aNavy nurse meant that I was
going to put on a really cooluniform and I was going to go to
Hawaii and I was going to doplays and hang out and do really
(06:10):
fun stuff.
I still love the movie or theplay.
So that was the impetus for it,my nursing degree.
Many of my colleagues went intoarea hospitals in Massachusetts
and New York, connecticut, and Ijust said you know what?
(06:32):
I want to do somethingdifferent and I think that's a
hallmark of me.
I want to do somethingdifferent so, prompted by my
relatives' experience, my dad'sexperience and I still have my
dad's Navy peacoat barely canbutton it because he was just a
little drip of water when hewent in.
In fact, many of the young menwho signed up to serve were
(06:58):
underage and they got aroundthat by putting a piece of paper
in their shoe that had thenumber 18 written on it, and my
dad did this.
So when he was asked, are youover 18?
He could say yes, I am.
(07:27):
So I will tell you that thethree years I served I did
pediatric nursing the whole time, surgical peds and then medical
peds were three of the mostrewarding years of my life.
I mean, I'm all of 21 years oldand I'm in an open bed 30 bed
open ward full of kids and therewas a four crib nursery and
there was a two bed step downunit and I had corpsmen and
corpswomen older than mereporting to me, had corpsmen
and corpswomen older than mereporting to me.
There were LPNs who knew muchmore nursing than I did.
(07:47):
So you learn.
You learn fast.
You learn by observing, youlearn by listening, you learn by
watching.
Beverley Glazer (07:54):
You learn by saying I don't know, that's huge
, I don't know, that is reallyhuge and humble too, but that's
how you learn.
Diane Wysga (08:05):
That's how you learn.
And you also learned the hardway about marriage.
Oh, you've read my book?
Yes, yes, I did.
And this is key, I think, tonot trusting yourself and your
instincts and your intuition.
I never should have marriedthis person.
(08:26):
He was a good person, but hewasn't a good person for me, and
I could remember leading up tothat time and sharing those
doubts and being told well, youwaited until you were older, in
your 30s, to be married andyou've got cold feet and once
it's underway, you'll be fine.
And it wasn't.
(08:47):
It simply wasn't.
And there were signs along theway.
That was the other thing, but Iignored them or disregarded
them and it's all back to that.
What can I trust?
Back to that.
What can I trust?
What do I know about myself?
What is myself telling me?
(09:08):
In what words is it telling me?
In what actions is it tellingme?
And so when his year-long affaircame to light, it had come just
(09:28):
at a time when I had lost myposition in a law firm because
of a merger with a bigger firmand also my mom had died of
undiagnosed lymphoma.
So within the space of ninemonths, there was this triple
whammy of losses.
And talk about coming back fromthat.
You don't do it on your own?
(09:49):
There's no way.
You do it on your own.
You really do rely on thekindness of strangers, people
who come into your life, and youhave no idea how they got there
.
And yet they showed up, andthey were supposed to be there.
Beverley Glazer (10:13):
And another thing also finding your voice in
an abusive marriage, being aperson who has survived incest.
This is so difficult.
But you got a law degree, youbecame a lawyer, you became an
(10:34):
advocate.
How did you find your voice,diane?
That's so difficult.
Diane Wysga (10:40):
That's a great question, bev.
I imagine that over time therewere opportunities where the
story that wanted to be told wasmore important than what I was
ignoring.
So when I teach story, I startat a place where I absolutely
(11:03):
believe that my client knows thestory she wants to tell.
She just needs it listened outof her.
She wants to tell, she justneeds it listened out of her.
She has the words, but shedoesn't know that she has them.
And so if I start from thatplace of belief, and I also
(11:23):
start from the place of what Iwas taught as a storyteller,
which is the story comes throughus.
There's a story that wants tobe heard, because story is
organic and it follows us homewhen it sleeps in our bed.
So I would say that over time,the power of the story that
(11:44):
wanted to be told was moreimportant than my resistance.
If I can point to a time whenit really showed up and I think
that was the bend in the road itwas in law school.
And in law school you can doone of two things If you're an
(12:05):
overachiever, you can join amoot court or you can write for
the law review.
And because I always knew that,I was a talker because my mom
used to say this house will beso quiet when you're gone, which
I think she meant in a good way.
But I became part of the mootcourt team and there you're
(12:27):
handed with a partner a casethat's going on to the appellate
court and you have to argueboth sides of that case with
just the facts that you have tohand and the role that you play.
From appellant to appelleeyou're shifting back and forth.
That goes on through the wholeof the competition and I found
(12:48):
that I had a gift for it.
I found that I had a gift forthinking on my feet, for
speaking.
In fact, someone said you couldread the Manhattan phone book
and I would be paying attentionto you, and it was probably one
of the first times where notonly my voice was acknowledged
but I was rewarded for it, andby that I mean at the very end
(13:11):
of the competition.
So you're weeded out, likebasketball teams are, and you
start competing on it, and thenyou get to two teams who go to
the nationals or the champions,and that's what happened in this
case.
I was arguing with a fellow whohad been a Chautauqua tent
revivalist preacher, so you canimagine.
(13:33):
You know what I was up against.
But the opportunity to arguethat case in front of a panel of
sitting Supreme Court chiefjustices from five different
states and then winning, I thinkwas the time when I said, well,
there's got to be somethinggoing on here.
(13:53):
And that, I think, launched mefurther into law and then
eventually to litigationconsulting, where I was helping
plaintiffs lawyers tell thestory of what happened to their
clients to a judge, to a juryand in the meantime or during
(14:15):
the course of that, changinglives really and saving lives.
I know that sounds huge, butwhen you have someone who's
injured and taking their case totrial, it's a crapshoot.
You might win, you might not.
There's no way to know what'sgoing to happen but the most
(14:41):
important thing is that thatperson or that family gets a
chance to tell their story andto be seen and heard and
listened to, even if they don'twin.
That, I think, is life-savingand that is why I believe that
using our voice, using the powerof our voice, figuring out what
our words are, is life-saving.
Beverley Glazer (15:08):
That's a really interesting perception, because
anyone who's gone to trial, youthink of the win.
You don't think of expressingyour voice.
For you, what it really was wascoming out of yourself, finding
(15:33):
your voice, having peoplelisten to your voice, and that
is so empowering for all of us,particularly women.
And you also did so much more,not just speaking, but doing.
You were a skydiver.
You fly a plane Incredible.
You walked the Camino.
You were a plane.
You incredible.
You walked the Camino.
(15:54):
You were a scuba diver.
What did that do for you?
Because that's more than voice.
That's finding an adventure allover the place Life,
experiencing life.
Diane Wysga (16:10):
Oh, how wonderful that you said that.
And thank you for observingwhat you did about trials,
because it's true, when we go in, the idea is to win.
Of course it is to win because,for all the good reasons of
helping whoever was damaged andstopping the negligence, but to
come away with a sense of atleast I told people what had
(16:34):
happened, is important.
As to the adventure part of it,I think that there are two
things going on there.
I think it's nature, who I amnaturally and nurture, and by
that I mean to say that my momwas the one who encouraged and
(16:55):
said okay, and I was thinkingabout this the other day because
and I hadn't thought about itin a while but when I graduated
from college and in betweengraduation and then showing up
for the naval training school, Ibackpacked Europe, and this was
(17:15):
back when we had no cell phones, no internet.
You know, the best my parentscould hope for was a postcard.
The fact that they allowed me togo is, I think, maybe what it
does is reminds me of what mymom used to say Now I can lead
(17:38):
you around by the nose untilyou're 21, but after that you're
on your own.
And I had the let's Go Europebook which many college students
who were tracking all overEurope had then, and I had a URL
pass which allowed me to get onand off trains wherever I
wanted to.
I had a general idea of thedirection I was headed in.
(17:58):
I had a borrowed backpack fromsomebody my dad knew and I went
and that has always been.
That really has always been theway with me.
Let's give this a go.
I never jumped out of aperfectly good airplane before,
(18:20):
but let's see what that feelslike and it's that sense that is
the adventure in me, I believehas always been there, and a
recognition that we're going todie at some moment in time, so
(18:41):
you may as well live untilyou're dead.
And this idea of trying it whenwe retire, trying it later,
trying it when, if there'ssomething we want to do now if
you can go for it, and this iswhat you probably mean by show
(19:02):
up in both your life and yourwork.
Beverley Glazer (19:06):
Expand on that Just showing up, just showing up
, just showing up.
Diane Wysga (19:17):
There's two things.
One so yes, I did walk theCamino de Santiago and every day
that experience is front andcenter in my life.
I call it BC and AC, beforeCamino and after Camino.
It was that transformative ofan adventure for me and it
(19:38):
almost didn't happen.
I was in the plane going, wewere on, getting ready to land
in Madrid, and I'm looking outat Spain and I'm thinking to
myself that this is thestupidest idea, and I've had
lots of them.
This is the stupidest idea I'veever had in my entire life.
There is no way I can walk 500miles.
It ain't going to happen.
(19:59):
I don't know what I wasthinking of.
I'm getting off this plane, I'mpicking up my backpack and I'm
turning around and I'm headedback home.
That's all there is to it.
And as I was putting my bookinto the carry-on backpack that
I brought on the plane, therewas a book of poetry that I
carried along and in the pagesof that book I had inserted
(20:21):
cards and letters from reallyclose family and friends that
were to be encouraging to me asI walked.
And I drew out one, and Ididn't intend to do this, but I
drew out a letter that had beenwritten to me by one of the
members of my StoryWorksstorytelling troupe, and she
(20:43):
starts the letter by saying welldone.
And I'm looking at this andthinking what does she mean?
And she says in the letter Isuppose you're wondering what I
mean by saying well done.
You haven't even begun yet.
And she said what I mean isthat, regardless of what happens
from here on out, the fact thatyou showed up is well done.
(21:08):
And that's how I ended upwalking the Camino.
And I think there is such truthin that that all we have to do
is show up and put one foot infront of the other.
The first step that's there.
Take that, and regardless ofwhat happens from then on out,
(21:31):
we showed up.
And I will tell you that storystill seems so much to me.
I will tell you that once wetake that first step, we're
usually inclined to take asecond and a third and to keep
on going.
But just that sense, it's notthat you finish something, it's
(21:52):
that you have the courage tostart it, whatever it is.
And so, to this very day, I owethat pilgrimage to Lorraine.
Beverley Glazer (22:03):
Well, that's a beautiful and wise words of
wisdom that you're tellingeverybody.
Because my next question iswhat would you tell older women
who feel that there's nothingleft, that the best of their
life is over?
Diane Wysga (22:23):
Well, you know, it's funny.
I imagine that if we lookedback at the end of each of our
decades, oh, those were the goodyears, and then we go live
another 10.
Oh, those were the good years,and then we live another 10.
How do you know that your bestyears are behind you?
(22:45):
I spent five consecutive daysout in the garden in honor of my
mom, who was a master gardener,and I thought that was a really
good way to honor Mother's Day.
And I've been thinking tomyself you know, there will come
a time when I can't be humpinga wheelbarrow full of manure
around the garden Is that mybest day Was being 20 or 30 or
(23:08):
40 or 50, my best years?
I don't know, because I don'tknow what's over the horizon,
and I would say that to claimthat the best years of our lives
are behind us is actually aclaim of fear and it's a claim
of ignorance, because we don'tknow.
(23:31):
We don't know whose life wewill change, we don't know whose
life we will save, we don'tknow how we will transform the
lives of those we serve bysharing our story with them.
We have no clue.
We absolutely have no clue,have no clue.
(23:58):
So the only way to know if thebest years of our life are truly
done and over with or theremight be another couple lurking
over the horizon is to do it,because you don't cross the
ocean by standing on the shore,you don't, and I can tell you
these things that I've done,they haven't been easy and they
haven't been simple and theyhaven't been, you know, like
(24:20):
rolling off a log and that's it.
But as I said earlier, my story, my life, is not a prescription
for your story.
In your life, you're the authorof your own story.
You're the author of your ownstory, you're the hero of your
own life, and nothing gives megreater joy than to see a woman
(24:43):
embrace the heroine in her ownlife and say what I didn't know
I could do, that I didn't know Icould say that, yeah.
So that's what I would say,because I have to say it to
myself.
Beverley Glazer (25:04):
Beautiful.
Thank you, Diane.
Diane Wisgat helps sociallyconscious professionals and
organizations to deliver theirauthentic voice and connect and
engage with their audience.
Diana, please tell us, wherecan you find that?
Where can people find you?
Diane Wysga (25:25):
The easiest place to find me is on my website.
It's Quartermoon Story Arts.
Me is on my website.
It's Quartermoon Story Arts.
You're always welcome to emailme, diane, at
quartermoonstoryartsnet.
I have a podcast that's been onthe airwaves for four years.
Do check it out.
It's called Stories from Womenwho Walk, and there are daily
(25:48):
60-second episodes aroundmotivation and inspiration and
all those other ations, and I'verecently started a sub-stack
account called Wisga on Words.
So one of those three placesyou're sure to get a hold of me.
Wonderful.
Beverley Glazer (26:04):
And all these links are in the show notes and
they will be on my site too, andthat's reinventimpossiblecom.
So, my friends, what's next foryou?
Are you just going through themotions or are you prepared to
level up your life?
Download From Stuck toUnstoppable to elevate your
life, and that also will be inthe show notes below.
(26:29):
You can connect with me that'sBeverley Galzer on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook.
That's Women Over 50 Rock, andyou can also schedule a quick
Zoom to talk personally with me.
I want to thank you all forlistening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
(26:49):
Please join me next week.
Subscribe, subscribe to theseepisodes and they will come into
your inbox.
And please drop us a review,send it to a friend and remember
you only have one life, so liveit with purpose and passion.
Wonderful.
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