October 1, 2025 • 28 mins
What if the pain that nearly broke you could become the source of your greatest strength?
That’s the powerful story of Alx Uttermann, whose journey from childhood trauma and family loss to becoming a renowned spiritual healer offers hope, resilience, and transformation for women over 50.
Growing up in rural Missouri, Alx lost her mother young, endured an abusive stepmother, and left home at 15. Years later, everything changed when she met Sri Kalashwar, a miracle healer from India. His teaching was simple but life-changing: healing trauma, resilience, and spiritual transformation aren’t mystical gifts — they are learnable skills available to anyone.
Today, Alx is known as a “healer’s healer”, guiding practitioners, caregivers, and midlife women through burnout prevention and daily energy cleansing techniques that protect their health while serving others. Her practical wisdom blends energy healing with lived experience, helping women reclaim the strength in adversity they’ve often forgotten.
💡 In this episode, you’ll discover:
- How to turn trauma healing into empowerment and service
- Why women over 50 are primed for resilience and renewal
- Practical tools for burnout prevention and daily energy cleansing
- How to move from brokenness to transformation and turn wounds into wisdom
✨ Alx’s story is a reminder that no one is beyond hope. Whether you’re a healer, a caregiver, or simply a woman navigating midlife empowerment, this episode shows how your deepest wounds can become your greatest gifts.
Resources
For a similar story on healing and Reinvention, check episode 133 and 137 and if you like podcasts for women over 50 The Late Bloomer Living Podcast embraces change and sparks joy, to live playfully at any age. Meet inspiring guest who share practical, real-world tips.
Alx Uttermann – Global Spiritual Healing Leader
📧 Email: babaskitchen@123mail.org
💼 LinkedIn: Alx Uttermann
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/alxindia
📸 Instagram: @alxhealingfeeling
🌐 BlueSky: alxindia.bsky.social
Beverley Glazer – Transformation Coach & Host of Aging with Purpose and Passion
📧 Email: Bev@reinventImpossible.com
🌐 Website
💼 LinkedIn
📘 Facebook
👥 Women Over 50 Rock Group
📸
🎁 BONUS: Take your first step to clarity, courage and momentum. Your free checklist: → From Stuck to Unstoppable – is here.
https://reinvent-impossible.aweb.page/from-stuck-to-unstoppable
Have feedback or a powerful story that's worth telling? Contact us at info@Reinventimpossible.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer (00:06):
Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the
podcast designed to inspire yourgreatness and thrive through
life.
Get ready to conquer yourfears.
Here's your host,psychotherapist, coach, and
empowerment expert, BeverleyGlazer.
Beverley Glazer (00:29):
How do you transform suffering into service
and reinvention into joy?
Welcome to Aging with Purposeand Passion.
I'm Beverley Glazer, a catalystfor women who are ready to
raise the bar in their own life.
And you can find me onreInventimpossible.com.
Alx Uttermann is a globalspiritual leader, a healer, and
(00:55):
a teacher with over 20 years ofexperience guiding people to
transform their suffering intostrength.
After five years of intensivespiritual study in India, she
co-founded the nonprofit calledthe Universal Church of Baba's
Kitchen, dedicated to healing,meditation, and humanitarian
(01:19):
service.
Alx is known as a healer'shealer, helping people dissolve
the roots of trauma andreconnect with resilience,
purpose, and joy.
Keep listening.
Hi, Alx.
Hello, good to see you,Beverley.
Good to see you too.
And you grew up in ruralMissouri.
(01:42):
And you had politically activeparents in a very small town.
Your dad was a doctor.
How did that shape you?
Alx Uttermann (01:52):
Ah, yeah, it shaped me in a lot of different
ways, actually.
Um, for sure it informed my ownactivism in the world, you
know, as a social andpolitically aware, uh always
trying to do good.
That that was the example thatI saw in my household, you know,
and my dad, particularly as aphysician, so it was a very
(02:12):
small town, there were 4,000people.
Um, and as a surgeon, he oftendoubled as an ER physician as
well.
So my young years werepunctuated by my dad being on
call for the emergency room.
And if I would hear sirens uhin the town, meaning there was
an ambulance going by, I knewthat he had to go to work.
(02:32):
So I saw him perform what Iwould call relentless service.
He was so dedicated to what hedid, and had he had come out of
the Great Depression, he hadcome of age in the 20s and 30s,
(02:53):
and he had gone to medicalschool in the 40s and then was
in a mass unit in 1944 and 45 inWorld War II, uh, behind
Patton's army in Europe.
So he was a trauma surgeon.
He knew how to just be woken upin the middle of the night, and
now you have to just take careof boatloads of people who are
(03:13):
really, really, really horriblyinjured.
And he carried that ethos intohis life.
So I saw since I was quiteyoung, you know, a guy who would
work all day doing earlymorning surgeries and then
consulting with his patients inthe afternoon in his office.
He'd come home, he'd havedinner, you know, the guy was
perpetually tired.
And the phone would ring andthere would be some emergency.
(03:35):
It happened, a car accident oran appendicitis or something.
And he would just slug down abunch of coffee and drive 15
miles into town, and he wouldjoyfully work all night.
He didn't care.
He had this incredible capacityto help others, and I feel like
that really shaped me.
Beverley Glazer (03:54):
And and your mom, she passed away when you
were quite young.
What was going on at that timefor you?
Alx Uttermann (04:05):
Well, I was a little kid, you know.
Yeah, so I didn't understand ittoo well, and I was yeah, so I
have five older brothers andsisters.
I'm the youngest of six, and Ithink everybody else kind of had
some handle on what washappening.
Um, she had leukemia, and toher, as I understand it, having
(04:26):
cancer was a stigma.
This was the 1970s, it wasunladylike or something.
I have no idea.
And I know it was very hard forher.
You know, she did chemo, shelost her hair.
Um, the indignity of that wasvery difficult for her to bear.
And but it was a, it was a wewere kind of isolated from
(04:47):
people, and in the sense that Ithink after she died, her best
friend didn't even know until itwas really terminal that my
mother was that ill.
I mean, she didn't tell herbest friend, which begs the
question what kind of afriendship is that, you know.
So for me, like she would readto me every night when I was
really small, and I got fixatedon the book Charlotte's Webb
(05:09):
when I was about, I don't know,four years old or something.
And I made her read it to meseven times.
And I would go completelyunglued when Charlotte the
Spider dies, which is a painful,difficult, bittersweet reality,
right?
Everything dies in thiscreation.
We know that.
But for me as a little kid, Iwould just go unglued.
(05:30):
I would just be like sobbing onthe foot of the bed.
And what I, of course, did notknow was that my mother was
already diagnosed with what wasconsidered terminal leukemia.
Uh, and she's watching herlittle child melt down over the
death of a fictional spider.
And I I have to assume it wentthrough her mind.
Oh my God, what is she going todo when the inevitable happens
(05:50):
for me?
So I didn't really understand alot of it.
And then it's a progressivedisease, right?
So she got weaker and weaker.
And, you know, I was aware thatshe was, you know, not
operating at full force, let'ssay that.
There were a lot of days on thecouch, and there were a lot of
visits to hospitals in biggercities and this kind of thing.
(06:10):
And um, but I didn't know whatI was seeing.
And as a child, you justsuspend reality, you know.
And then nobody talked aboutit.
So it was really bizarre and sotraumatizing because when she
her last few days, I think, werein the hospital in a the big
city, which was St.
Louis, and I wasn't permittedto see her, which uh I think we
(06:35):
all agree now, and my family wasan enormous mistake.
It really would have been akind of closure and it would
have yielded, I think, a strongunderstanding of how desperately
ill she really was.
What I knew was my mother lefton a gurney from our home, and
then she never came back.
And sure, they told me whathappened, they told me she died,
(06:56):
she told me it was brutal a fewdays in the hospital and all
like that, but I didn't witnessany of it.
And and she didn't want amemorial, she didn't want a
funeral, she didn't wantanything.
So for me, honestly, it waslike the switch just went off.
My mother was there, and thenmy mother wasn't.
And I spent some years in thekind of magical reality
thinking, well, maybe she justgot really sick of us and really
(07:17):
angry with us for being idiotsand just left and like started a
new life somewhere else, andthey're not telling me.
So it was traumatizing.
Beverley Glazer (07:27):
Right, right.
Well, that's what happens to ayoung child.
You were young, no one talkedabout it, you didn't know.
But then what happened was yourdad brought this other woman
into yes.
So talk about trauma andchange.
Alx Uttermann (07:44):
Oh, yikes, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (07:46):
Tell me about that.
Alx Uttermann (07:48):
There was an old saw at the time that women
grieve and men replace.
And I can't speak to theaccuracy of it, but I can say
that that was the roadmap forwhat my dad did.
So the gist of it, I think, washe didn't want to get old
alone.
He was terrified.
He was shocked.
I mean, he was like, Yeah, Idon't even know what the word
is.
He was really traumatized bythe death of my mother, you
(08:09):
know, his wife of 32 years.
And he thought, well, he betterfind a new wife.
Some of the justification wasto have a female in the home to
take care of me.
I don't think so.
I think it was really abouthim.
However, uh, and he was one ofthose kind of lofty,
absent-minded professor typeswho didn't really know how his
(08:30):
household was run.
Yeah, so he was he was kind ofin pieces in a lot of ways.
So uh he married our familypiano teacher who had known our
family forever.
And she um, in fact, she hadtaught the last three of these
six kids, myself included, pianowhen we were little little
(08:53):
kids.
Her specialty was little kids.
After you got to a certainpoint, you would go to a more
advanced teacher.
Um, so we'd known her forever,and she'd socialized with my
parents.
And I mean, it was not that shewas a total stranger, and um,
and she was younger than he, andshe had never married, and she
was totally available, and theycommenced a kind of courtship
and romance, and then theymarried, and that's when we
(09:16):
discovered that she was a closetdrunk.
Oh, with plenty of inner demonsto work out.
My it was very clear quite soonthat she had been horrifically
abused as a child physically,and my conviction also is that
it was sexual.
Uh, I'm pretty sure thesymptoms were there.
(09:38):
So, yeah, she married me.
Beverley Glazer (09:42):
Yeah, and you couldn't live in that
environment.
She was extremely abusive.
And and you moved out, you wentto your sisters.
I did.
And was there some kind ofpeace there?
Alx Uttermann (09:54):
No.
Oh no.
So from the time I was about 11until 15, I was living in a
home with a woman who becameincreasingly off the rails,
abusive, uh, verbally,physically, everything.
And, you know, my father was inpretty good denial that this
was happening.
She was crafty, she only did itwhen he wasn't there, and it
escalated.
So by the time he did see it,it was the scenes were just
(10:19):
unbelievable.
And at one point, she crossedthe line when I was 15 and like
invaded my private space in myroom and my part of the house.
And that was it.
I was done.
Uh so yes, I left home and Iwent to my sister's in the last
eight months of her marriage.
Ah in another small town.
And she and I were the only twopeople in the whole town who
(10:39):
didn't know that her husband washaving an affair with her best
friend.
Beverley Glazer (10:43):
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Alx Uttermann (10:45):
Great, good times.
And at that point, I went tocollege.
I was like, I'm out of here.
Beverley Glazer (10:50):
Yes.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
And and were you supported incollege?
Did your dad was your dadbehind you on any of that?
Alx Uttermann (11:00):
Oh gosh, no, he disowned me the moment I left
home because he wanted me tostay and he thought that the
financial lever would keep mestaying there for another, you
know, a year till I finishedwhat was left for me of high
school.
And I was like, yeah, but youcouldn't pay me to live in a
home where a woman wants to killme every day.
I'm done.
Beverley Glazer (11:15):
No, no, no.
Alx Uttermann (11:16):
I'm done.
So no, financially, I waspretty much on my own.
My mother had left me somemoney for college that my
father's brother uh invested.
And he kind of took over thewing of like being the
responsible adult for me with interms of college, you know,
forms and this and that.
Um, and not to say that my dadand I were estranged.
We weren't, we sort of patchedit together.
(11:39):
Um, but essentially I was on myown, which was what the
stepmother always wanted becauseshe definitely had a thing for
the money.
So uh and some of my olderbrothers and sisters pitched in
and like sent me a little bitevery month so that I would have
something, you know, just tokind of try to live on.
Beverley Glazer (11:57):
And from college, you moved on to
California.
I did.
Yeah.
And what was life like down inCalifornia now, from a small
town into that state, that busystate?
You were in LA, weren't you?
Yes.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Alx Uttermann (12:15):
It was a shocker.
It was a culture shock.
So I went to school in upstateNew York at Bard College, which
is a hotbed of liberalism andBohemian brilliance.
And also in a small place.
It's in a rural area.
Uh, it's like one street and800 undergraduates at the time
and a thousand acres of HudsonRiver Valley lands.
(12:37):
So it was forests and trailsand all the stuff that I had
grown up with in Missouri.
Great choice of college, I haveto say.
And I come to Los Angeles and Ido remember we drove
cross-country.
I had a boyfriend who wanted tobe a Hollywood director.
Well, there's only one place onthe planet.
You can do that.
So we came to Los Angeles.
We're driving in, and Iremember I started to cry when I
(13:00):
saw it.
It was very smoggy.
This was the late 80s.
I have to say that airpollution has gotten a lot
better since then, just becauseof emissions limits and the you
know, development of cars aredifferent now and all that.
But at that time, it was asmoggy day, and uh uh the sun
was a little obscured, and we'redriving on these freeways, and
I just started to cry.
(13:21):
And I was consoling myself bylooking at the green shrubbery
on the side of the freeways, andI was like, okay, green things
grow here, so I can grow heretoo.
I think it was hard, it was abig shock, and it was a film
industry, and I have no interestin the film industry.
The pretense and the posing andthe who's who and yikes! Yeah,
(13:44):
that was not fun.
And I have to say, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (13:49):
But you survived and you wore many,
many, many hats as a musician, ajournalist, a marketer, a
teacher, a ranking master.
And what drove you to keep onexploring and reinventing and
trying to find yourselfsomewhere?
Curiosity.
Yeah.
Alx Uttermann (14:08):
Always curious.
They used to ask me when I wasa little kid, what do you want
to be when you grow up?
And I had no straight ideaabout it because my curse, my
blessing, and my curse has beenI'm interested in everything.
Uh, and so I would always justsay awkwardly, Well, I just want
to keep growing.
I couldn't, it seemed limitingto land on one idea or
(14:29):
profession.
You know, some kids are reallyclear.
Oh, I want to be a fireman, Iwant to be a doctor, I want to
be a teacher.
I was like, I want toexperience everything.
And and honestly, I feel likeI'm still like that.
I'm still like a big curiouskid.
You know, I don't want toscream at eyes.
Very yes.
So yeah.
So what drew you you to India?
(14:51):
What drew me to India kickingand screaming was healing.
And I I was something of anitinerant healer already.
That had just sort of smackedme in the head through my
involvement with uh the gamingcommunity in Silicon Valley,
where I was a journalist and abook author and a developer for
a while in there.
And a friend was a Reiki masterand healer.
(15:14):
And so I caught that bug.
And then in 1999, I met a youngmiracle healing saint.
Uh, he was at that time 27years old.
I think I was about 32, maybe.
Uh, this young blazing lion ofa character called Sri
Kalashwar, who had miraculoushealing abilities.
(15:37):
And unlike many characters whodisplay such things, you know,
like he was taking terminalcancers in five minutes and um
dissolving AIDS symptoms inpeople.
And I he really was came outswinging.
Um, his stance was, yeah, Ihave miracle abilities.
That's true.
I worked really hard for them.
(15:58):
Every human being has theseabilities.
And if you're willing to dohard work, I will teach
everything that I know.
That caught me because I'd beenspinning as a healer for a few
years, kind of in the make it upby the seat of your pants.
Definitely adept andunderstanding how energy works
to some degree, but beingbaffled and having a million
(16:19):
questions that nobody couldanswer.
And this generosity of, hey,this is learnable.
There's technology.
Yeah.
So I visited India a couple oftimes and had my mind fully
blown with what I learned there.
And then I moved there.
And uh I didn't realize at thetime it would be a five-year
residence.
My then partner and I thought,well, maybe it'll be, you know,
(16:42):
six months a year.
Both of us had this motivation.
We wanted to go deep, not justspend a month there and get some
idea of some things, but reallyto go deep.
And so that's what happened.
So months turn into years.
Why did you come back?
We were sent out.
My teacher said, Well, you gotit.
(17:04):
So time to go.
His attitude was, why hangaround me?
The world needs it.
His motive was to create cadresof healers who could handle
human suffering, who couldreally handle the heartbreak of
humanity.
And once you have the goods,why are you sitting in India?
Get on it, back to America.
Okay.
Beverley Glazer (17:26):
And you went back to California.
Alx Uttermann (17:29):
Again, yes, can I quit California, this time
northern?
Uh, I had been living in theSanta Cruz Mountains in the
redwood forests and like that.
So, yes, so we returned.
Jonathan and me came back tothe hills of California and
began doing teaching, healing,helping, helping, helping,
(17:50):
helping.
We were like country doctors ina way, going around to people's
homes and making house callsand assessing their situation
and you know, giving themhealing energies, experiences,
and teaching them how tomeditate really effectively.
And I it was it was prettywild, actually.
And then we kind of built acommunity.
(18:11):
Or I should say a community gotbuilt around us.
It wasn't, it just sort ofstarted happening.
Beverley Glazer (18:18):
And you describe yourself as a healer's
healer.
What do you mean by that?
Alx Uttermann (18:23):
You know, there are what I saw as a Reiki
practitioner, for example, wasthat there are all kinds of
healing modalities out there,and all of them are valid.
And this is including, by theway, Western medicine, including
natural medicines likeacupuncture, uh, homeopathy,
naturopathy, and so on.
Um, a lot of healers across theboard get stuck at certain
(18:48):
places and also, so there arecertain things that are put in
front of them that they theydon't know how to address, or
they can't get a successfulresolution of something.
This is natural in everydiscipline.
Um, so the information and thetechniques that we got from
India are pretty comprehensiveand really help fill in the gaps
or support an existing healingprocess for somebody through an
(19:13):
incredibly out-of-the-box,supernatural and miracle angle.
So that's one thing.
But the other thing is thathealers themselves tend to get
burned out, exhausted,overwhelmed.
Um, they start to pick up theenergy of the people that
they're treating.
Again, this is across theboard.
This is Western medical as wellas natural healing, as well as
energy healers.
Um, over time, people absorbthe pain and suffering of the
(19:36):
patients and the clients.
And that starts to build up inways that are unpleasant in the
human system, can lead toburnout, PTSD, a lot of either
mental health issues or umphysical or both.
So I have techniques thataddress that and help healers,
regardless of discipline, be waymore effective at what they do.
(19:58):
Because they can do like adaily sort of um, you know, like
brushing your teeth.
You don't want the plaque tobuild up and then get a nasty
lecture in six months from thehygienist.
Yeah.
Energetically, it's verysimilar.
You we can't function at fullforce if we're carrying, you
know, days and weeks and monthsworth of the pain and suffering
of the people who came to us forhealing.
(20:19):
So basically, I teach healershow to be better at what they
do.
Beverley Glazer (20:24):
And if after all the loss and transformation
that you've gone through, whatpractices keep you grounded?
Alx Uttermann (20:33):
I do go to Disneyland a lot.
Oh, yeah, seriously, my mentalhealth practice, like I grab my
guy and we head down toDisneyland.
I live, I should say, 45minutes from the park.
So that's just kind of a gimme.
Um, but in seriousness, youknow, I meditate, I do healing
and service work.
And to me, that's the theessence of everything is not
(20:59):
thinking so much about myselfand my own issues or my own
dramas or my own agendas.
It's more like people come infront of me and they are so
hurting.
How can I help?
And for me, that's the ongoingpractice of staying.
You know, I had a lot ofexperiences in India that are
(21:21):
really divine and so far outthat describing them sounds a
little crazy, really high, highconsciousness experiences.
That's great.
But what's practical in thisworld is taking care of other
people.
And so to stay real and to stayauthentic and to stay um out of
(21:47):
egoism and in a very clearperspective, you know, like just
to remind everybody, you know,each of us is an individual
spark of the great light, let'ssay.
An individual spark's prettysmall.
We're like a giant little, alittle peanut in a huge ocean of
the universe.
It's good to hold thatperspective, no matter how
(22:08):
powerful you may be.
And so for me, this the ongoingreality is to stay super
grounded, super humble, justlike my nose down, do the work
and take care of whoever comesin front of me.
Beverley Glazer (22:22):
Beautifully said.
What would you tell a woman whomay be feeling kind of beaten
and they're listening to thisand they are unsure of their own
path?
What would you tell the nods?
Alx Uttermann (22:35):
Wow, that's how much time do we have?
Um I would say no one ishopeless, no one is beyond hope.
No matter how broken we mightfeel that we are, there are ways
to come up out of that.
And each of us is carryingsomething so holy inside.
(22:56):
We can trust that.
We can hang on to that and wecan develop that.
So it may be something assimple as getting support from
people who care about you.
It may be something as simpleas reaching out online for
support if there aren't peoplein your immediate vicinity who
appear to care about you.
Um, it might be picking up ameditation practice, it might be
(23:19):
finding a really goodtherapist, it might be we at the
end of the day, I feel that weall need each other hugely.
Nobody does it alone.
And I feel like our society inthe West, especially, is geared
toward you have to be asuperwoman or else there's
something wrong with you.
And yet, what I've observed inmy life and the lives of many
powerful women that I've come incontact with, it takes us a
(23:44):
network of the sisterhood tobring everybody up together.
It's a myth that we can do iton our own and we shouldn't
think like that.
And so we shouldn't feel lessthan if somehow we didn't find
the magic key that unlocked thedoor that made us a superwoman.
It's just ridiculous.
Beverley Glazer (24:02):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Alex Uttermann is a globalspiritual leader, a healer, and
a teacher with over 20 years ofexperience guiding people to
transform their suffering intostrength.
After five years of intensivespiritual study in India, she
co-founded the nonprofit TheUniversal Church of Baba's
(24:24):
Kitchen, dedicated to healing,meditation, and humanitarian
service.
Alex is known as a healer'shealer, helping people dissolve
the roots of trauma andreconnect with resilience,
purpose, and joy.
Here are a few takeaways fromthis episode.
Healing begins when you stoprunning from your past.
(24:47):
Service to others helps youheal yourself.
And trauma can become a doorwayto purpose, not just pain.
If you've been relating to thisepisode, here are some few
quick actions that you couldtake right now.
Name one thing that could havebroken you, but you survived.
(25:07):
I want you to honor that withone small act of service that
you can do, not because youshould, but because you want to.
And appreciate the lessons andthe strength you've gained by
all that you've carried, andreach out to others.
For similar episodes on healingand reinvention, check out
(25:28):
episodes 133 and 137 of Agingwith Purpose and Passion.
And if you like the podcast forwomen in midlife and beyond,
the Late Bloomer Living Podcastis your weekly invitation to
embrace change, spark joy, andlive playfully at any age.
Yvonne Marchez chats withinspiring guests who share
(25:53):
practical real-world tips.
And that link is in the shownotes below.
And so, Alex, where can peoplefind more about you?
Please share your links in casepeople want to get in touch
with you.
What are they?
Alx Uttermann (26:08):
So there are two.
One is the set of tools thathelp healers of all walks and
service uh occupationprofessionals and helping
professions like school teachingor customer service or
hospitality, um, do a daily sortof washout very quickly of
stress and strain so that itdoesn't build up to burnout.
(26:28):
That website isenergeticsofselfcare.com.
And the second my day job is uhthe Universal Church of Baba's
Kitchen, as stated, which is youknow a healing and training uh
legally a church, but our ourmission is to help.
And that is UCBK.org.
Beverley Glazer (26:53):
Okay.
And those links are in the shownotes and on my site too.
That's reinvent itpossible.com.
And so, my friends, what's nextfor you?
Are you just going through themotions or are you living the
life that you truly love?
Get my free guide to go fromstuck to unstoppable.
And where do you think that is?
(27:14):
That's in the show notes below.
You can connect with me,Beverly Glazer, on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook.
That's Women Over50 Rock.
And thank you for listening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
Please subscribe and help usspread the word by dropping a
(27:35):
review and sending it to afriend.
And remember, you only have onelife.
So live it with purpose andpassion.
Announcer (27:49):
Thank you for joining us.
You can connect with Bev on herwebsite,
reinventimpossible.com.
And while you're there, joinour newsletter.
Subscribe so you don't miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep agingwith purpose and passion.
And celebrate life.
Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the
podcast designed to inspire yourgreatness and thrive through
life.
Get ready to conquer yourfears.
Here's your host,psychotherapist, coach, and
empowerment expert, BeverleyGlazer.
Beverley Glazer (00:29):
How do you transform suffering into service
and reinvention into joy?
Welcome to Aging with Purposeand Passion.
I'm Beverley Glazer, a catalystfor women who are ready to
raise the bar in their own life.
And you can find me onreInventimpossible.com.
Alx Uttermann is a globalspiritual leader, a healer, and
(00:55):
a teacher with over 20 years ofexperience guiding people to
transform their suffering intostrength.
After five years of intensivespiritual study in India, she
co-founded the nonprofit calledthe Universal Church of Baba's
Kitchen, dedicated to healing,meditation, and humanitarian
(01:19):
service.
Alx is known as a healer'shealer, helping people dissolve
the roots of trauma andreconnect with resilience,
purpose, and joy.
Keep listening.
Hi, Alx.
Hello, good to see you,Beverley.
Good to see you too.
And you grew up in ruralMissouri.
(01:42):
And you had politically activeparents in a very small town.
Your dad was a doctor.
How did that shape you?
Alx Uttermann (01:52):
Ah, yeah, it shaped me in a lot of different
ways, actually.
Um, for sure it informed my ownactivism in the world, you
know, as a social andpolitically aware, uh always
trying to do good.
That that was the example thatI saw in my household, you know,
and my dad, particularly as aphysician, so it was a very
(02:12):
small town, there were 4,000people.
Um, and as a surgeon, he oftendoubled as an ER physician as
well.
So my young years werepunctuated by my dad being on
call for the emergency room.
And if I would hear sirens uhin the town, meaning there was
an ambulance going by, I knewthat he had to go to work.
(02:32):
So I saw him perform what Iwould call relentless service.
He was so dedicated to what hedid, and had he had come out of
the Great Depression, he hadcome of age in the 20s and 30s,
(02:53):
and he had gone to medicalschool in the 40s and then was
in a mass unit in 1944 and 45 inWorld War II, uh, behind
Patton's army in Europe.
So he was a trauma surgeon.
He knew how to just be woken upin the middle of the night, and
now you have to just take careof boatloads of people who are
(03:13):
really, really, really horriblyinjured.
And he carried that ethos intohis life.
So I saw since I was quiteyoung, you know, a guy who would
work all day doing earlymorning surgeries and then
consulting with his patients inthe afternoon in his office.
He'd come home, he'd havedinner, you know, the guy was
perpetually tired.
And the phone would ring andthere would be some emergency.
(03:35):
It happened, a car accident oran appendicitis or something.
And he would just slug down abunch of coffee and drive 15
miles into town, and he wouldjoyfully work all night.
He didn't care.
He had this incredible capacityto help others, and I feel like
that really shaped me.
Beverley Glazer (03:54):
And and your mom, she passed away when you
were quite young.
What was going on at that timefor you?
Alx Uttermann (04:05):
Well, I was a little kid, you know.
Yeah, so I didn't understand ittoo well, and I was yeah, so I
have five older brothers andsisters.
I'm the youngest of six, and Ithink everybody else kind of had
some handle on what washappening.
Um, she had leukemia, and toher, as I understand it, having
(04:26):
cancer was a stigma.
This was the 1970s, it wasunladylike or something.
I have no idea.
And I know it was very hard forher.
You know, she did chemo, shelost her hair.
Um, the indignity of that wasvery difficult for her to bear.
And but it was a, it was a wewere kind of isolated from
(04:47):
people, and in the sense that Ithink after she died, her best
friend didn't even know until itwas really terminal that my
mother was that ill.
I mean, she didn't tell herbest friend, which begs the
question what kind of afriendship is that, you know.
So for me, like she would readto me every night when I was
really small, and I got fixatedon the book Charlotte's Webb
(05:09):
when I was about, I don't know,four years old or something.
And I made her read it to meseven times.
And I would go completelyunglued when Charlotte the
Spider dies, which is a painful,difficult, bittersweet reality,
right?
Everything dies in thiscreation.
We know that.
But for me as a little kid, Iwould just go unglued.
(05:30):
I would just be like sobbing onthe foot of the bed.
And what I, of course, did notknow was that my mother was
already diagnosed with what wasconsidered terminal leukemia.
Uh, and she's watching herlittle child melt down over the
death of a fictional spider.
And I I have to assume it wentthrough her mind.
Oh my God, what is she going todo when the inevitable happens
(05:50):
for me?
So I didn't really understand alot of it.
And then it's a progressivedisease, right?
So she got weaker and weaker.
And, you know, I was aware thatshe was, you know, not
operating at full force, let'ssay that.
There were a lot of days on thecouch, and there were a lot of
visits to hospitals in biggercities and this kind of thing.
(06:10):
And um, but I didn't know whatI was seeing.
And as a child, you justsuspend reality, you know.
And then nobody talked aboutit.
So it was really bizarre and sotraumatizing because when she
her last few days, I think, werein the hospital in a the big
city, which was St.
Louis, and I wasn't permittedto see her, which uh I think we
(06:35):
all agree now, and my family wasan enormous mistake.
It really would have been akind of closure and it would
have yielded, I think, a strongunderstanding of how desperately
ill she really was.
What I knew was my mother lefton a gurney from our home, and
then she never came back.
And sure, they told me whathappened, they told me she died,
(06:56):
she told me it was brutal a fewdays in the hospital and all
like that, but I didn't witnessany of it.
And and she didn't want amemorial, she didn't want a
funeral, she didn't wantanything.
So for me, honestly, it waslike the switch just went off.
My mother was there, and thenmy mother wasn't.
And I spent some years in thekind of magical reality
thinking, well, maybe she justgot really sick of us and really
(07:17):
angry with us for being idiotsand just left and like started a
new life somewhere else, andthey're not telling me.
So it was traumatizing.
Beverley Glazer (07:27):
Right, right.
Well, that's what happens to ayoung child.
You were young, no one talkedabout it, you didn't know.
But then what happened was yourdad brought this other woman
into yes.
So talk about trauma andchange.
Alx Uttermann (07:44):
Oh, yikes, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (07:46):
Tell me about that.
Alx Uttermann (07:48):
There was an old saw at the time that women
grieve and men replace.
And I can't speak to theaccuracy of it, but I can say
that that was the roadmap forwhat my dad did.
So the gist of it, I think, washe didn't want to get old
alone.
He was terrified.
He was shocked.
I mean, he was like, Yeah, Idon't even know what the word
is.
He was really traumatized bythe death of my mother, you
(08:09):
know, his wife of 32 years.
And he thought, well, he betterfind a new wife.
Some of the justification wasto have a female in the home to
take care of me.
I don't think so.
I think it was really abouthim.
However, uh, and he was one ofthose kind of lofty,
absent-minded professor typeswho didn't really know how his
(08:30):
household was run.
Yeah, so he was he was kind ofin pieces in a lot of ways.
So uh he married our familypiano teacher who had known our
family forever.
And she um, in fact, she hadtaught the last three of these
six kids, myself included, pianowhen we were little little
(08:53):
kids.
Her specialty was little kids.
After you got to a certainpoint, you would go to a more
advanced teacher.
Um, so we'd known her forever,and she'd socialized with my
parents.
And I mean, it was not that shewas a total stranger, and um,
and she was younger than he, andshe had never married, and she
was totally available, and theycommenced a kind of courtship
and romance, and then theymarried, and that's when we
(09:16):
discovered that she was a closetdrunk.
Oh, with plenty of inner demonsto work out.
My it was very clear quite soonthat she had been horrifically
abused as a child physically,and my conviction also is that
it was sexual.
Uh, I'm pretty sure thesymptoms were there.
(09:38):
So, yeah, she married me.
Beverley Glazer (09:42):
Yeah, and you couldn't live in that
environment.
She was extremely abusive.
And and you moved out, you wentto your sisters.
I did.
And was there some kind ofpeace there?
Alx Uttermann (09:54):
No.
Oh no.
So from the time I was about 11until 15, I was living in a
home with a woman who becameincreasingly off the rails,
abusive, uh, verbally,physically, everything.
And, you know, my father was inpretty good denial that this
was happening.
She was crafty, she only did itwhen he wasn't there, and it
escalated.
So by the time he did see it,it was the scenes were just
(10:19):
unbelievable.
And at one point, she crossedthe line when I was 15 and like
invaded my private space in myroom and my part of the house.
And that was it.
I was done.
Uh so yes, I left home and Iwent to my sister's in the last
eight months of her marriage.
Ah in another small town.
And she and I were the only twopeople in the whole town who
(10:39):
didn't know that her husband washaving an affair with her best
friend.
Beverley Glazer (10:43):
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Alx Uttermann (10:45):
Great, good times.
And at that point, I went tocollege.
I was like, I'm out of here.
Beverley Glazer (10:50):
Yes.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
And and were you supported incollege?
Did your dad was your dadbehind you on any of that?
Alx Uttermann (11:00):
Oh gosh, no, he disowned me the moment I left
home because he wanted me tostay and he thought that the
financial lever would keep mestaying there for another, you
know, a year till I finishedwhat was left for me of high
school.
And I was like, yeah, but youcouldn't pay me to live in a
home where a woman wants to killme every day.
I'm done.
Beverley Glazer (11:15):
No, no, no.
Alx Uttermann (11:16):
I'm done.
So no, financially, I waspretty much on my own.
My mother had left me somemoney for college that my
father's brother uh invested.
And he kind of took over thewing of like being the
responsible adult for me with interms of college, you know,
forms and this and that.
Um, and not to say that my dadand I were estranged.
We weren't, we sort of patchedit together.
(11:39):
Um, but essentially I was on myown, which was what the
stepmother always wanted becauseshe definitely had a thing for
the money.
So uh and some of my olderbrothers and sisters pitched in
and like sent me a little bitevery month so that I would have
something, you know, just tokind of try to live on.
Beverley Glazer (11:57):
And from college, you moved on to
California.
I did.
Yeah.
And what was life like down inCalifornia now, from a small
town into that state, that busystate?
You were in LA, weren't you?
Yes.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Alx Uttermann (12:15):
It was a shocker.
It was a culture shock.
So I went to school in upstateNew York at Bard College, which
is a hotbed of liberalism andBohemian brilliance.
And also in a small place.
It's in a rural area.
Uh, it's like one street and800 undergraduates at the time
and a thousand acres of HudsonRiver Valley lands.
(12:37):
So it was forests and trailsand all the stuff that I had
grown up with in Missouri.
Great choice of college, I haveto say.
And I come to Los Angeles and Ido remember we drove
cross-country.
I had a boyfriend who wanted tobe a Hollywood director.
Well, there's only one place onthe planet.
You can do that.
So we came to Los Angeles.
We're driving in, and Iremember I started to cry when I
(13:00):
saw it.
It was very smoggy.
This was the late 80s.
I have to say that airpollution has gotten a lot
better since then, just becauseof emissions limits and the you
know, development of cars aredifferent now and all that.
But at that time, it was asmoggy day, and uh uh the sun
was a little obscured, and we'redriving on these freeways, and
I just started to cry.
(13:21):
And I was consoling myself bylooking at the green shrubbery
on the side of the freeways, andI was like, okay, green things
grow here, so I can grow heretoo.
I think it was hard, it was abig shock, and it was a film
industry, and I have no interestin the film industry.
The pretense and the posing andthe who's who and yikes! Yeah,
(13:44):
that was not fun.
And I have to say, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (13:49):
But you survived and you wore many,
many, many hats as a musician, ajournalist, a marketer, a
teacher, a ranking master.
And what drove you to keep onexploring and reinventing and
trying to find yourselfsomewhere?
Curiosity.
Yeah.
Alx Uttermann (14:08):
Always curious.
They used to ask me when I wasa little kid, what do you want
to be when you grow up?
And I had no straight ideaabout it because my curse, my
blessing, and my curse has beenI'm interested in everything.
Uh, and so I would always justsay awkwardly, Well, I just want
to keep growing.
I couldn't, it seemed limitingto land on one idea or
(14:29):
profession.
You know, some kids are reallyclear.
Oh, I want to be a fireman, Iwant to be a doctor, I want to
be a teacher.
I was like, I want toexperience everything.
And and honestly, I feel likeI'm still like that.
I'm still like a big curiouskid.
You know, I don't want toscream at eyes.
Very yes.
So yeah.
So what drew you you to India?
(14:51):
What drew me to India kickingand screaming was healing.
And I I was something of anitinerant healer already.
That had just sort of smackedme in the head through my
involvement with uh the gamingcommunity in Silicon Valley,
where I was a journalist and abook author and a developer for
a while in there.
And a friend was a Reiki masterand healer.
(15:14):
And so I caught that bug.
And then in 1999, I met a youngmiracle healing saint.
Uh, he was at that time 27years old.
I think I was about 32, maybe.
Uh, this young blazing lion ofa character called Sri
Kalashwar, who had miraculoushealing abilities.
(15:37):
And unlike many characters whodisplay such things, you know,
like he was taking terminalcancers in five minutes and um
dissolving AIDS symptoms inpeople.
And I he really was came outswinging.
Um, his stance was, yeah, Ihave miracle abilities.
That's true.
I worked really hard for them.
(15:58):
Every human being has theseabilities.
And if you're willing to dohard work, I will teach
everything that I know.
That caught me because I'd beenspinning as a healer for a few
years, kind of in the make it upby the seat of your pants.
Definitely adept andunderstanding how energy works
to some degree, but beingbaffled and having a million
(16:19):
questions that nobody couldanswer.
And this generosity of, hey,this is learnable.
There's technology.
Yeah.
So I visited India a couple oftimes and had my mind fully
blown with what I learned there.
And then I moved there.
And uh I didn't realize at thetime it would be a five-year
residence.
My then partner and I thought,well, maybe it'll be, you know,
(16:42):
six months a year.
Both of us had this motivation.
We wanted to go deep, not justspend a month there and get some
idea of some things, but reallyto go deep.
And so that's what happened.
So months turn into years.
Why did you come back?
We were sent out.
My teacher said, Well, you gotit.
(17:04):
So time to go.
His attitude was, why hangaround me?
The world needs it.
His motive was to create cadresof healers who could handle
human suffering, who couldreally handle the heartbreak of
humanity.
And once you have the goods,why are you sitting in India?
Get on it, back to America.
Okay.
Beverley Glazer (17:26):
And you went back to California.
Alx Uttermann (17:29):
Again, yes, can I quit California, this time
northern?
Uh, I had been living in theSanta Cruz Mountains in the
redwood forests and like that.
So, yes, so we returned.
Jonathan and me came back tothe hills of California and
began doing teaching, healing,helping, helping, helping,
(17:50):
helping.
We were like country doctors ina way, going around to people's
homes and making house callsand assessing their situation
and you know, giving themhealing energies, experiences,
and teaching them how tomeditate really effectively.
And I it was it was prettywild, actually.
And then we kind of built acommunity.
(18:11):
Or I should say a community gotbuilt around us.
It wasn't, it just sort ofstarted happening.
Beverley Glazer (18:18):
And you describe yourself as a healer's
healer.
What do you mean by that?
Alx Uttermann (18:23):
You know, there are what I saw as a Reiki
practitioner, for example, wasthat there are all kinds of
healing modalities out there,and all of them are valid.
And this is including, by theway, Western medicine, including
natural medicines likeacupuncture, uh, homeopathy,
naturopathy, and so on.
Um, a lot of healers across theboard get stuck at certain
(18:48):
places and also, so there arecertain things that are put in
front of them that they theydon't know how to address, or
they can't get a successfulresolution of something.
This is natural in everydiscipline.
Um, so the information and thetechniques that we got from
India are pretty comprehensiveand really help fill in the gaps
or support an existing healingprocess for somebody through an
(19:13):
incredibly out-of-the-box,supernatural and miracle angle.
So that's one thing.
But the other thing is thathealers themselves tend to get
burned out, exhausted,overwhelmed.
Um, they start to pick up theenergy of the people that
they're treating.
Again, this is across theboard.
This is Western medical as wellas natural healing, as well as
energy healers.
Um, over time, people absorbthe pain and suffering of the
(19:36):
patients and the clients.
And that starts to build up inways that are unpleasant in the
human system, can lead toburnout, PTSD, a lot of either
mental health issues or umphysical or both.
So I have techniques thataddress that and help healers,
regardless of discipline, be waymore effective at what they do.
(19:58):
Because they can do like adaily sort of um, you know, like
brushing your teeth.
You don't want the plaque tobuild up and then get a nasty
lecture in six months from thehygienist.
Yeah.
Energetically, it's verysimilar.
You we can't function at fullforce if we're carrying, you
know, days and weeks and monthsworth of the pain and suffering
of the people who came to us forhealing.
(20:19):
So basically, I teach healershow to be better at what they
do.
Beverley Glazer (20:24):
And if after all the loss and transformation
that you've gone through, whatpractices keep you grounded?
Alx Uttermann (20:33):
I do go to Disneyland a lot.
Oh, yeah, seriously, my mentalhealth practice, like I grab my
guy and we head down toDisneyland.
I live, I should say, 45minutes from the park.
So that's just kind of a gimme.
Um, but in seriousness, youknow, I meditate, I do healing
and service work.
And to me, that's the theessence of everything is not
(20:59):
thinking so much about myselfand my own issues or my own
dramas or my own agendas.
It's more like people come infront of me and they are so
hurting.
How can I help?
And for me, that's the ongoingpractice of staying.
You know, I had a lot ofexperiences in India that are
(21:21):
really divine and so far outthat describing them sounds a
little crazy, really high, highconsciousness experiences.
That's great.
But what's practical in thisworld is taking care of other
people.
And so to stay real and to stayauthentic and to stay um out of
(21:47):
egoism and in a very clearperspective, you know, like just
to remind everybody, you know,each of us is an individual
spark of the great light, let'ssay.
An individual spark's prettysmall.
We're like a giant little, alittle peanut in a huge ocean of
the universe.
It's good to hold thatperspective, no matter how
(22:08):
powerful you may be.
And so for me, this the ongoingreality is to stay super
grounded, super humble, justlike my nose down, do the work
and take care of whoever comesin front of me.
Beverley Glazer (22:22):
Beautifully said.
What would you tell a woman whomay be feeling kind of beaten
and they're listening to thisand they are unsure of their own
path?
What would you tell the nods?
Alx Uttermann (22:35):
Wow, that's how much time do we have?
Um I would say no one ishopeless, no one is beyond hope.
No matter how broken we mightfeel that we are, there are ways
to come up out of that.
And each of us is carryingsomething so holy inside.
(22:56):
We can trust that.
We can hang on to that and wecan develop that.
So it may be something assimple as getting support from
people who care about you.
It may be something as simpleas reaching out online for
support if there aren't peoplein your immediate vicinity who
appear to care about you.
Um, it might be picking up ameditation practice, it might be
(23:19):
finding a really goodtherapist, it might be we at the
end of the day, I feel that weall need each other hugely.
Nobody does it alone.
And I feel like our society inthe West, especially, is geared
toward you have to be asuperwoman or else there's
something wrong with you.
And yet, what I've observed inmy life and the lives of many
powerful women that I've come incontact with, it takes us a
(23:44):
network of the sisterhood tobring everybody up together.
It's a myth that we can do iton our own and we shouldn't
think like that.
And so we shouldn't feel lessthan if somehow we didn't find
the magic key that unlocked thedoor that made us a superwoman.
It's just ridiculous.
Beverley Glazer (24:02):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Alex Uttermann is a globalspiritual leader, a healer, and
a teacher with over 20 years ofexperience guiding people to
transform their suffering intostrength.
After five years of intensivespiritual study in India, she
co-founded the nonprofit TheUniversal Church of Baba's
(24:24):
Kitchen, dedicated to healing,meditation, and humanitarian
service.
Alex is known as a healer'shealer, helping people dissolve
the roots of trauma andreconnect with resilience,
purpose, and joy.
Here are a few takeaways fromthis episode.
Healing begins when you stoprunning from your past.
(24:47):
Service to others helps youheal yourself.
And trauma can become a doorwayto purpose, not just pain.
If you've been relating to thisepisode, here are some few
quick actions that you couldtake right now.
Name one thing that could havebroken you, but you survived.
(25:07):
I want you to honor that withone small act of service that
you can do, not because youshould, but because you want to.
And appreciate the lessons andthe strength you've gained by
all that you've carried, andreach out to others.
For similar episodes on healingand reinvention, check out
(25:28):
episodes 133 and 137 of Agingwith Purpose and Passion.
And if you like the podcast forwomen in midlife and beyond,
the Late Bloomer Living Podcastis your weekly invitation to
embrace change, spark joy, andlive playfully at any age.
Yvonne Marchez chats withinspiring guests who share
(25:53):
practical real-world tips.
And that link is in the shownotes below.
And so, Alex, where can peoplefind more about you?
Please share your links in casepeople want to get in touch
with you.
What are they?
Alx Uttermann (26:08):
So there are two.
One is the set of tools thathelp healers of all walks and
service uh occupationprofessionals and helping
professions like school teachingor customer service or
hospitality, um, do a daily sortof washout very quickly of
stress and strain so that itdoesn't build up to burnout.
(26:28):
That website isenergeticsofselfcare.com.
And the second my day job is uhthe Universal Church of Baba's
Kitchen, as stated, which is youknow a healing and training uh
legally a church, but our ourmission is to help.
And that is UCBK.org.
Beverley Glazer (26:53):
Okay.
And those links are in the shownotes and on my site too.
That's reinvent itpossible.com.
And so, my friends, what's nextfor you?
Are you just going through themotions or are you living the
life that you truly love?
Get my free guide to go fromstuck to unstoppable.
And where do you think that is?
(27:14):
That's in the show notes below.
You can connect with me,Beverly Glazer, on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook.
That's Women Over50 Rock.
And thank you for listening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
Please subscribe and help usspread the word by dropping a
(27:35):
review and sending it to afriend.
And remember, you only have onelife.
So live it with purpose andpassion.
Announcer (27:49):
Thank you for joining us.
You can connect with Bev on herwebsite,
reinventimpossible.com.
And while you're there, joinour newsletter.
Subscribe so you don't miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep agingwith purpose and passion.
And celebrate life.
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Betrayal: Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a brand new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-4 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.