Healing After Sexual Abuse: Reclaiming Your Life and Power After 50

What happens when the "perfect" life you've built starts crumbling beneath your feet? At 50 years old, Christina L. Woods faced a life-altering reality—autoimmune issues, anxiety, and the breakdown of her 25-year marriage. Despite a successful corporate career, she couldn’t escape the truth she'd been hiding for years: deep-seated trauma stemming from childhood sexual abuse.

In this emotional episode, Christina opens up about her journey from a childhood of sexual abuse to a life spent hiding pain behind the façade of perfectionism. As the eldest daughter of teen parents in a chaotic household, she learned to survive by excelling at everything. But this coping mechanism, while it served her well for years, eventually led her to physical and emotional breakdowns at 50.

As she transitioned from a high-pressure corporate career to become a clinical hypnotherapist and empowerment coach, she faced the challenge of rewriting her identity and healing the wounds that had been buried for decades. Most notably, she had to learn the revolutionary concept of setting boundaries: “Boundaries became a lesson in what I am available for and how I choose myself first.”

For women who identify with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or burying trauma, Christina’s message is empowering: “It’s not your fault.” Her journey offers practical guidance on how to begin healing, with simple, everyday practices that lead to long-term transformation.

Christina’s story provides hope for anyone carrying the weight of past trauma. It’s never too late to reclaim your life and discover your authentic worth.

For similar stories on overcoming abuse, check out episodes 116 and 126 of Aging With Purpose And Passion. 

Ready to break free? Listen now and discover how you can turn trauma into strength and live life on your own terms.

For similar episodes on overcoming abuse, check out episodes 116 and 126. And please help us spread the word by dropping a review and forwarding it to a friend.

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Christina L Woods

[e-mail]://christinalwoods.com/ https://www.facebook.com/christinalwoodsvaron/ https://www.instagram.com/christina.lwoods/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinalwoodsvaron/

 Beverley Glazer MA., ICCAC

[e-mail]  https://reinventimpossible.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/ https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazerGROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the
podcast designed to inspire yourgreatness and thrive through
life.
Get ready to conquer your fears.
Here's your hostpsychotherapist, coach and
empowerment expert, BeverleyGlazer.

Beverley Glazer (00:36):
Have you been carrying a secret that you're
never going to tell?
Well, welcome to Aging withPurpose and Passion.
This is the podcast for womenover 50 ready to stop settling
and live on their own terms.
Each week, you'll hear rawconversations, inspiring stories
and get practical tools to helpyou regenerate your life and
your fire.

(00:56):
I'm Beverley Glazer, atransformational coach and
therapist for women ready toreclaim their voice, break free
from what holds them back, andyou can find more about me on
reinventimpossible.
com.
I want you to meet Christina LWoods.
She's an internationally knownclinical hypnotherapist, a rapid

(01:19):
transformational therapist, anempowerment coach and Reiki
master, who left a 30-yearcorporate career.
Today, christina helps women torealize their worth, change
their beliefs and align withtheir authentic selves.
Listen to her story ofovercoming the trauma of sexual

(01:40):
abuse, a secret that she'scarried until she was 50 years
old.
So let's dive in.
Oh thank you for having me.
Christina, share a bit about your childhood
.
What was going on in your lifeback then?
You had so many challenges.
You know you had so manychallenges.

Christina L Bishop (02:02):
Yeah, so I was, mom and dad were teen
parents I'm the oldest of foursiblings and so sort of grew
into, you know, people learningwhat to do as they were raising
me and had a big sense ofresponsibility from day one.
And home was a bit chaotic and,you know, parents divorced when

(02:25):
I was about five years old, sothere was definitely a sense of
a lot of stress and mom wasworking a lot and we were home
at the time for many years itwas just my brother and I.
My mother remarried later andhad a few more children, but a
big sense of responsibility leftwith babysitters and so on,
because she's working quite abit, and so, you know, a lot of

(02:48):
chaos, a lot of instability, alot of financial stress in our
home.
I know now, you know, my motherdidn't always understand how to
deal with that and how I dealtwith it was being a good girl,
being, you know, no trouble,being a perfectionist, being a

(03:10):
good student, being a goodhelper and, as you mentioned,
when I was about eight or nineyears old, I had a very, you
know, inappropriate situationwith the neighbor when I went to
borrow some sugar.
With the neighbor when I wentto borrow some sugar and I

(03:30):
really just for lack of a betterword to not disrupt a very
disruptive life just sort of putthat in a box and went on with
my life.

Beverley Glazer (03:41):
And you were the oldest also, yeah, and you
had responsibilities, becausemom was all over the place, she
sure was yeah.
And you had to grow up reallyfast.
Mom worked in a bar.
I understand, right.

Christina L Bishop (03:56):
Yeah, she did a great job raising us and
she worked nights and she workedin restaurants and bars and you
know, at that time this is the70s, so if you're not educated,
it was the best way to make themost money and cash and instant
money.
And work nights so that home inthe day, or in the summers,

(04:20):
when we're home, but babysittersat nights and coming home
really, really late, maybe youknow two, three o'clock in the
morning.
So in the morning when we'retrying to get ready for school,
she's pretty tired and, um, youknow, so not always conducive to
like let's get up ready forschool, come on.
So, but doing doing your best,and so you know not exactly what

(04:45):
every other mom was doing atthat time, and and not it didn't
feel very normal in myneighborhood.
So there were other, maybe acouple other divorced parents,
but I definitely felt different,definitely felt like, hey, I
don't want everybody to knowwhat my mom and dad do, or you

(05:06):
know, I, I wanted that persona.

Beverley Glazer (05:08):
Of course, you want to be normal, you want to
be like everybody else, sure,and there's pressure, and a lot
of pressure, to being normal,whatever normal is, and you just
got all these differentperceptions from the outside
world, and being perfect wasreally something you aspire to
and you did a good job of that.

Christina L Bishop (05:30):
Yeah, I did a real good job of it and you
know, I think you know you don'tknow it's happening, but you
know, becoming a really goodstudent and you know, sweet and
no trouble and helping mybrother learn how to read.
I remember these types ofthings happening all the time

(05:51):
and homecoming queen and all thelittle activities and just
overdue, overdue, overdue andreally just make everybody proud
.
Be the first to do this, be thefirst to graduate or go to
college, be the first first,first of everything, as the
oldest set the way, create a newpath.

(06:12):
Be the first to blossom andmake everybody proud.
And I did.
I made my mother proud, myfather proud, everybody proud.
I was a good role model for mybrother.
So these are feeling goodmoments, model for my brother.
So these are these are feelinggood moments in life.

Beverley Glazer (06:27):
Yeah, yes, yes, for sure.
So when did you realize thatthis perfect little girl no
longer really served its purpose?

Christina L Bishop (06:38):
Well, you know, I entered the corporate
world and did you know very well, in that world as well and
excelled, but it all startedcrashing down.
All of the trauma, theadrenaline, the push, push, push
and just not really payingattention to anything other than

(07:00):
achievements and approval andthe persona that my identity was
.
You know how do I look on theoutside.
It all started crashing downwhen I was getting close to
being 50 and immune, autoimmune,vertigo.

(07:20):
My marriage had fallen apart.
You know, it had been maybealmost close to 25 years at that
point.
I had two children andeverything.
The cards just started fallingapart and I was miserable and
corporate and I just really hadto take a look at, like, what is

(07:40):
going on?
Because I have this longmarriage, way beyond anything,
you know, my, my own family had,and that was my goal, like
don't, don't do what that youknow, I don't want to repeat
what I had, I want to have myfamily together and I didn't
have a happy marriage.
My body certainly feels likeit's been through the ringer.
I have anxiety.

(08:01):
I was on anxiety medication.
At that point my body wassaying you can't do this anymore
.
I hated my job, I had a lot ofdebt.
And so I went into therapy andmy marriage at that point I was
getting a divorce and I justknew I had to go into therapy.
And, you know, my marriage atthat point I was getting a
divorce and I just knew I had togo into therapy.
So that's what I did.
I went into deep therapy, whichI didn't want to do, but I knew

(08:22):
I needed to do, and at thatpoint things started to unravel
and I realized I had suppressedthe abuse, I had suppressed some
things and you know, I'll behonest, I had, you know, you
know, in the back of your mind,something like that had happened
, but I had just told myself oh,that wasn't that bad.
You know, that little thingthat happened at the neighbors

(08:44):
wasn't that bad.
And and which is quite shocking, because as an adult woman of
my own children, now how could Ithink that wasn't that bad?
But I didn't want, I didn'twant to make and disrupt any,
any type of thing going on in mylife.
So, yeah, it wasn't until I was50.

Beverley Glazer (09:02):
Oh, did you open up?
Because, yes, you were keepingthat for a good 50 years, but
then to realize that this was asomething and it's not really a
nothing.
And that memory went back.
You were just a child of eightand you kept on suppressing and
trying to be more and morenormal and not to bring this up.

(09:23):
How were you able to do that?

Christina L Bishop (09:25):
Well, things weren't lining up logically for
me.
So it was the how come I haveall these things in my life that
are supposed to be, you know,equating to this great life, and
I feel like a bad person.
I had a lot of shame.
I didn't know it was calledshame.
I didn't know.
You know, when you walk aroundyou feel like a bad person.
Now I know, well, that's shame.
I had no idea.

(09:46):
So I asked the therapist likewhy do I always feel bad?
I feel like a bad mom, a badfriend, a bad person.
I know I'm not, but I feel bad.
And so we explored it and I went, I did hypnosis, but I really
did a lot of EMDR at the time,and very quickly we went back to
these moments and I said, yeah,but that's not abuse, is it?

(10:09):
And she said, yes, it's abuse.
And so I was even still notvery clear and it clearly, you
know, slowly came out that, yes,that's what it is.
And you know, when you're ableto start to have compassion with
yourself and see how much I had, you know, wanted to just feel

(10:30):
safe and I was in survival modefor so, so long, and see it from
another perspective, then Icould start to have compassion
for that part of me that justwanted to bury it, and and then
I could face it and you know it,it it was difficult to face and
and accept and have compassionfor those parts of me.

(10:52):
And then and here I am nowspeaking about it publicly,
publicly I'm going to be anauthor soon.
And here I am now speakingabout it publicly, publicly I'm
going to be an author soon, apublished author, where I share
it as well.
But you know, this has been along road, a 10 year road of
sharing it and and and you knowyou hear people burying things
for protection and when ithappens to yourself, you're like
, wow, this is like in themovies, but it happens, right.

Beverley Glazer (11:15):
And there goes that little girl, perfect image
right before you.
And boundaries was somethingtoo, because to be a people
pleaser there are no boundariesthere.
You had to change a lot.
How did boundaries change foryou?

Christina L Bishop (11:32):
How did boundaries change for you?
Well, boundaries changed inmany, many ways.
I left corporate, I changedcareers, but really boundaries
became a lesson in what am Iavailable for?
How do I choose myself first,having compassion for myself?

(11:53):
Never ever was I ever shown ortaught how to put myself first.
It wasn't, it was neversomething I was shown.
My mother never did that.
I was never rewarded for doingit.
In fact, it was the opposite.
It was.
I was taught.
You do not do that.
You never put yourself first,you put others first.

(12:15):
So it was quite a lesson inhaving to say okay, this isn't a
bad thing to put myself first,I'm not a bad mother, I'm not a
bad person to want to go take abath, to take a nap, to rest
when you're tired, to not telleveryone at work you can do
everything for them.
That doesn't mean you're a bademployee.
So this was dismantling ofeverything I had built my

(12:40):
identity around.
So, really, boundaries werewhat am I available for?
I'm available forself-compassion, knowing it's
okay to put myself first.
And then you actually you knowthe old fill your cup up first.
Theory is actually a real thing.
It's, and it's a good one.

Beverley Glazer (12:58):
Yes, it really is.
How can you teach women, though, to feel that they're deserving
?
They can be compassionate withthemselves.
What would you tell them?

Christina L Bishop (13:17):
You know, I like to identify a few of the of
the whys you and and look atsome of the blocks that we feel
might might be the reason.
So I think, just gettingcurious, you know being curious
about why do we feel that way inthe first place?
But you know, just you know,allowing yourself five, 10
minutes to, you know, take abreath.
I mean breath is life.
Take a breath, allow yourselfto have five, 10 minutes for

(13:40):
nothingness to clear your mind.
I mean we're all, we all can bea better partner, friend,
parent, pet owner, whatever youwant to be, when we give
ourselves a little space toclear our mind and get away from
the phone or whatever it mightbe.

Beverley Glazer (13:56):
Okay, very good advice.
Do you have any regrets?
You left corporate, you lefteverything all behind.
Looking back, any regrets?

Christina L Bishop (14:21):
Support.
I didn't ask for help sooner.
You know, I think if I wouldhave been more in tune, I had a
lot of self-help books and someI was afraid to read because I
knew I'd find something outabout myself that would require
I go deep within.
And I think a lot of people areafraid to ask questions because
, you know, what are we going tofind out?
And we're going to find out thetruth about us, that we are
enough, we're good and, yes, wemight need a little bit of help

(14:45):
and guidance and support and itmight feel scary, but you know
you just take it one day at atime.
You know we don't get here, youknow, overnight.
This is a journey and there's alot of support.
It might just be a friendtalking to, but I wish I would
have got support sooner.
I really do.

Beverley Glazer (15:07):
Excellent.
What advice would you give towomen who are carrying that
secret but they're really afraidto take that step?
What advice would you give?

Christina L Bishop (15:15):
them.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
You didn't do anything for solong.
I played the story in my headas a little girl.
Um, you know that I wore thewrong thing, I said the wrong
thing, I shouldn't have beenthere and I was 50, still saying
those things.
So there's those pieces insideof us that are are telling us

(15:37):
still the story of survival andthose things aren't true.
That's just a story forprotection and it's not your
fault.
And allow someone to help yousort that out.
Thank, you.

Beverley Glazer (15:51):
Thank you, christina.
Christina L Woods left a30-year corporate career to
become an internationally knownclinical hypnotherapist, a rapid
transformational therapist, anempowerment coach and a Reiki
master, and today she helpswomen realize their worth,
change their thinking and alignwith their authentic self.

(16:15):
Here are a few takeaways fromthis episode.
Boundaries are essential torelationships and to emotional
health.
You don't have to be perfect.
Mistakes give you anopportunity to learn, and when
you value yourself, everythingfalls into place.

(16:35):
If you've been keeping a secretthat's affecting your self-worth
, here are a few things youcould do right now.
I want you to look into themirror every single day and take
a deep breath and tell yourselfI'm okay and I'm not telling
you to believe it, though, I'mjust telling you to say it every
single day.

(16:56):
I want you to journal for fiveminutes a day.
Just think of one little thingthat you can be proud of, and
all these little things build upto self-esteem.
And, just as Christina said,reach out to a trusted friend or
a professional to share a bitof your story, because this

(17:18):
simple act will allow you to beheard.
For similar episodes onovercoming abuse, please check
out episode 116 and 126 of Agingwith Purpose and Passion, and

(17:43):
if you love podcasts for women,the Late Bloomer Living podcast
will give you a freshperspective on midlife and aging
.
Every Wednesday, yvonneMarchese speaks to inspiring
guests and experts to providevaluable guidance on navigating
the unique challenges of midlifeand beyond.
This podcast is aboutcelebrating the courage to grow,
change and find joy at any age.
By the way, that link is goingto be in the show notes below,
and so where can people findmore about you, christina, and

(18:06):
eventually read your book?

Christina L Bishop (18:08):
Thank you, christina L Woods.
com and all social Facebook,instagram, linkedin is also
Christina L Woods.

Beverley Glazer (18:17):
Terrific.
That's easy enough, and allChristina's links are going to
be in the show notes, andthey're going to be on my site
too.
That's Reinventimpossible.
com.
And so, my friends, what's nextfor you?
Are you just going through themotions or are you living a life
that you truly love?
Get my free guide to go fromstuck to unstoppable, and that's

(18:39):
also in the show notes.
Right below this episode, youcan connect with me, beverly
Glazer, on all social mediaplatforms and in my positive
group on Facebook that's WomenOver 50 Rock, and I want to
thank you for listening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
Please subscribe and help usspread the word by dropping a

(19:00):
review and sending it to afriend.
And remember you have only onelife, so live it with purpose
and passion.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Thank you for joining us.
You can connect with Bev on herwebsite, Reinventimpossible.
com and, while you're there,join our newsletter subscribe so
you don't miss an episode.
Until next time, keep agingwith purpose and passion and
celebrate life.