April 9, 2025 • 26 mins
What if the secret to aging well isn’t found in anti-wrinkle creams or retirement plans, but in purpose, community, and perspective? Filmmaker Sky Bergman discovered this truth when she interviewed 40 elders aged 75+, gathering a collective wisdom of 3,000 years.
Sky’s journey from a 30-year university teaching career to documentary filmmaking at midlife—sparked by her 100-year-old grandmother's active lifestyle—reveals how embracing change and purpose can transform the later years of life. Despite having no formal training in filmmaking, Sky turned her passion project into the successful PBS documentary *Lives Well-Lived*, celebrating the richness of life at every age.
In this episode, Sky shares the four key traits she uncovered in those aging well: purpose, community, resilience, and a positive outlook. These elements offer a powerful blueprint for women over 50 seeking to reclaim their sense of purpose and connection in their later years.
Sky also addresses the societal issue of age segregation, demonstrating how connecting different generations can reduce loneliness and create meaningful bonds. Whether you’re looking to rebuild a sense of community or discover your own purpose, Sky’s practical wisdom and inspiring story will guide you toward living your best life—no matter your age.
Ready to reimagine your relationship with aging? Tune in and discover how cultivating purpose, community, and resilience can transform not just your later years, but every day of your life.
Have you enjoyed this episode? Please drop a review and share this episode with a friend.
For similar episodes on grief and loss check out Episode 96 and 122 of aging with Purpose and Passion. And Catherine Marienau and Gail Zelitzky co-host their weekly podcast, Women Over 70-Aging Reimagined, where vital women ages 70-110 change the narrative about aging . Listen here: www.womenover70.com
Resources:
Sky Bergman:
skybergmanproductions@gmail.com
https://www.skybergmanproductions.com
https://www.instagram.com/liveswelllived/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/skybergman/
https://www.facebook.com/liveswelllived/
Beverley Glazer:
https://reinventimpossible.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/
https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazer
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock
https://www.instagram.com/beverleyglazer_reinvention/
Schedule a clarity call with Bev: https://calendly.com/reinventimpossible/15min
🎁 BONUS: Take your first step to clarity, courage and momentum. Your free checklist: → From Stuck to Unstoppable – is here.
https://reinvent-impossible.aweb.page/from-stuck-to-unstoppable
Have feedback or a powerful story that's worth telling? Contact us at info@Reinventimpossible.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the
podcast designed to inspire yourgreatness and thrive through
life.
Get ready to conquer your fears.
Here's your host.
Psychotherapist coach andempowerment expert Beverley
Glaer.
Psychotherapist coach andempowerment expert, beverly.
Beverley Glazer (00:26):
Glazer, have you been thinking of leaving a
legacy?
Well, welcome to Aging withPurpose and Passion.
I'm Beverley Glazer, and I'm atransformational coach and
catalyst, empowering women tostep into their confidence, take
a leap of faith and create thelife that they truly deserve.
(00:46):
And you can find me onreinventimpossiblecom.
So are you ready to discoveryour full potential?
Today, I'm joined by SkyBergman, a filmmaker, professor
emeritus of Photography andVideo at Cal Poly, st Louis
(01:07):
Obispo, where she spent a30-year teaching career, and her
work is in museum collectionsand it's appeared in renowned
magazines like the Smithsonian.
And Sky's passion today iscreating films that inspire
intergenerational connections.
Her successful PBS documentaryLives Well-Lived and her book
(01:32):
Lives Well-Lived Generationscelebrates life's essence and
the richness of life at everyage.
So, whether you're looking formeaning or building stronger
relationships, or embracing yourlegacy, this conversation will
inspire you to live withintention and joy.
(01:53):
So keep listening.
Welcome, skye.
Sky Bergman (01:58):
Wow, thank you for that introduction.
I love that.
Thank you so much for having me, Beverly.
This is a joy, Well.
Beverley Glazer (02:04):
Sky, you grew up in a multi-generational home
and not everybody has.
I have for a short time, and itwas a lot different than what
you have been talking about anddescribing.
Tell me what was it like foryou growing up in this
(02:27):
multi-generational home and whowas there and what was it all
about?
Sky Bergman (02:31):
Well, I was very lucky to live with my parents,
my grandparents and even mygreat-grandmother, who lived to
be into her late 90s.
I was 19 when she passed away,so she was definitely also an
influence in my life.
I had no concept that afour-generational household was
a unique thing, because you knowwhen you're a kid, that's your
own lived experience, that'swhat you know, and I think that
(02:55):
what was wonderful was thatwe're Italian and so we, as many
Italians do, sit around thetable for many hours, especially
on Sundays where we'd havethese long meals and the stories
would come out after dinner.
And you know, I think that thatwisdom was passed down from one
generation to the next, and Ijust feel so fortunate to have
(03:16):
had that connection, not onlywith my grandparents and my
great grandmother, but also withtheir friends, because they
would always have friends comingin and out of the house.
Also with their friends,because they would always have
friends coming in and out of thehouse, and so I grew up being
very comfortable around olderadults and really learning their
lessons and listening tostories.
So I think that that's wheremaybe my passion started, and I
should also say that my dad wasa geriatric physician from the
(03:40):
time that he finished medicalschool.
From the time that he finishedmedical school and I think that
that certainly played a role inmy desire to learn more about
older adults, because he wouldcome home from work and talk
about the amazing stories of thepeople that he had met through
his, his profession and andseeing them as patients and
really listening to their livesnot just listening to what was
(04:02):
wrong with them at that moment,but listening to their stories
about their lived experience,and I think that certainly
permeated who I am as well.
Beverley Glazer (04:12):
But you became a professor, yes, yes, and
teaching for 30 years.
Sky Bergman (04:20):
Yeah.
Beverley Glazer (04:20):
I loved it, so why did you take the leap from
academia?
Sky Bergman (04:26):
Well, I should go back to why did I even take a
leap into academia, which waswhen I was an undergrad.
My undergraduate degree wasactually in finance, and I took
a photography class for fun mylast semester in school and I
fell in love with the magic ofthe dark room and watching the
(04:46):
image emerge in the developersomething that we don't really
do in this day and age.
But it was so magical and Irealized at that moment that I,
although I was good with numbers, it wasn't making me happy, it
wasn't my passion and I was inmy early twenties at that point.
But I thought I don't want tosettle in my early twenties for
(05:06):
something that you know can makeme money but I'm not happy
doing it.
And so I realized that not onlydid I want to be a photographer
in that moment, but that Iwanted to be a university
professor.
I love that environment oflearning and being in the
university.
And so I went to my teacher atthe time, who I'm still friends
with to this day, and I said tohim Lou, I'd like a job like
(05:29):
yours, how do I do that?
And he took me under his wingand really helped mentor me and
got me into, helped me get intograduate school, and I became a
professor of photography for 30years and loved every minute of
it.
But when I was approaching my50s, I was, I had been
department chair.
You know I'd done everything atthe university and I was really
(05:51):
looking at role models for whatI could become in the next half
of my life.
You know I had this amazingrole model my grandmother, who
was 100 and still working out atthe gym.
And I'm 59 now, so fulldisclosure.
I was in my mid-40s so about 15years ago, and everything that
I was seeing in the media wereall the things that we could do
(06:12):
to avoid aging, all theanti-aging creams, and
everything that was beingdepicted in the movies or on TV
series were the negative aspectsof aging.
I do think that that's changedin the 15 years since I
experienced that, but at thattime it was such a negative
thing and, let's face it, theone thing that we all have in
common is that we age each andevery day, so we might as well
(06:34):
learn to embrace it rather thandread it.
And having this incredible rolemodel in my own family of my
grandmother who I was so closewith, you know, because I grew
up with her I think that thatspurred me on to a completely
new career, and it started offactually doing cooking videos of
my grandmother, because she wasan amazing cook who never wrote
(06:55):
a recipe down, and I realizedthat I didn't want to just write
her recipes down or just doaudio.
I wanted to see the gesture ofher hand she's Italian, so
gestures, but I wanted to reallycapture that and so that was my
first foray into filmmaking,into doing any video work at all
, was doing these cooking videosof my grandmother that I called
(07:16):
Cucina Nana, which meansgrandma's kitchen, and I loved
it and again I had that kind ofaha moment like I had back when
in my early twenties, when I wasin the dark room and watching
the image emerge in thedeveloper.
Aha, I'm a storyteller, I lovedoing this and I need to do more
of this and as I'm looking at50 and looking for positive role
(07:37):
models of aging, I need to findother people out there, like my
grandmother, who are aging wellcan be my role models that I
can document and um, and thatset me on this new, completely
new path of being a filmmaker,and how are you able to do that?
Beverley Glazer (07:51):
I mean, this costs money.
I don't have to tell.
Sky Bergman (07:56):
No, you don't have to tell me.
Well, I think that one of thethings that I've always done and
you know I was at thiscrossroads of me do I become a
finance major or a photographer?
And certainly if I was doing itfor the money, I would have
done the finance major part ofit.
I have always followed mypassion and my heart and always
let that lead me in whateverdirection I'm going, and I think
(08:16):
that when you have a passionproject and you're authentic,
people want to help you and thatthat was certainly the case for
lives well-lived.
So I had no idea of what I wasdoing.
I mean, like I said, the onlyvideos that I'd done were these
cooking videos of my grandmother, um.
But at the time the Apple storehad help for people that were
working on projects and I wouldgo into the Apple store and I
(08:37):
had three guys in there who Icalled my Apple gurus and I
actually gave them a film creditand I would go in for that
one-on-one help and they wouldhelp me.
I didn't even know what toGoogle or YouTube to ask the
questions about filmmaking,since I knew nothing and they
were like my teachers and I havelearned through this process
that it is actually a sign ofstrength to ask for help and to
(08:59):
say I don't know how to dosomething, can you help me?
And I think when I was youngerI was a little more intimidated
to do that.
And now it's like hey, I know Ihave this idea for a project,
how can I make this happen andwho can I ask to help me?
And I think that I also lookedfor creative ways to finance my
film.
So I'm lucky because I do havemy day job, which was teaching.
(09:20):
That was funding my life, butthen funding a film, because I
thought it was very important topay everyone that worked for me
on the film.
I think, as a creative, we gettaken advantage of a lot of
times for in quotes, exposure,and I didn't want to do that.
So I made sure that everyonethat worked for me it was my
passion project, not theirs Imade sure everyone got paid, and
(09:40):
so I thought how can I fundthis so it's not just all coming
out of my savings?
So I started renting out roomsin my house through Airbnb and I
would tell the people that wererenting rooms hey, I'm working
on this film and you are nowhelping me fund this film.
And not only did I get fundingout of doing that, but I also
ended up with these amazingpeople who were like passionate
(10:03):
supporters of the film.
So they were coming fromsupporters of the film, so they
were coming from all over thecountry and when the film went
to film festivals all over thecountry they would go and cheer
me on and it was lovely.
I mean, it kind of worked inmany ways.
So think outside the box, andit's what I guess I'm saying.
Follow your heart, follow yourpassion and think outside the
box in terms of ways to makethings happen.
Beverley Glazer (10:24):
Amazing.
Sky Bergman (10:25):
Tell us about Lives Well Lived start working out at
(10:49):
the gym until she was 80.
So she taught me that it'snever too late to start
something new, even working outat the gym, and I did a little
video of her working out at thegym and give me some of her
words of wisdom, and I came backfrom.
This was for her 100th birthdayand I came back from that trip.
She lived in Florida and I'm inCalifornia and I thought I'm
going to put this little videotogether and then I'm going to
ask all of my friends, familyand all the alum I've taught
(11:10):
over the years I've been at theuniversity do you have somebody
in your life that's as much aninspiration as my grandmother is
to me?
And so I kind of put a call toaction out there hey, please
nominate people if you have them, because I'm working on this
project.
I don't know where it's going togo or what I'm going to do, but
this is what I'm looking for,and I was inundated by
(11:31):
heartwarming nominations to bepart of this project and that
was really how I got started.
And so I spent four yearsinterviewing 40 people that were
75 plus, with a collective lifeexperience of 3000 years, and
came up with this film and itwas just such a joyous moment in
my life because I just took thetime to really listen to
(11:51):
people's stories, and what agift that was.
I'm forever changed as a resultof that.
Beverley Glazer (11:57):
Yes, I was going to ask you that next
question how were you changed?
Sky Bergman (12:02):
Well, I think I like to say that my grandmother
left me the greatest gift, whichis the gift of 40 new
grandparents, because I thinkall the people in the film kind
of adopted me as their pseudograndchild and I adopted them as
well, and so you know thesewonderful friendships.
But also I, part of why I wrotethe book was because there were
really four lessons that Ilearned from all these people,
(12:25):
and I'm not a social scientist,I was coming at it from an
artist's point of view and avery personal point of view.
So I was looking for people whowere aging positively and I was
doing a cross section ofeverybody 75 and older.
And the four things that Ithink all these people had in
common was one the mostimportant was having a sense of
purpose.
And boy, that purpose canchange over time.
(12:45):
And I know, I see that.
You know, when I was teaching atthe university I'd see that
with college students who all ofa sudden realized, oh, my
goodness, I'm in the wrong major, where's my purpose?
And they were kind ofstruggling Right.
And I think the other big time,another big time that many
older adults have this is whenwe retire from our jobs and we
have to redefine who we are andbut having that reason that we
(13:10):
get up every morning, thatreason that for being that
reason that we give back, Ithink that was super important.
I think the second thing wasreally, um, having a sense of
community, feeling like you're apart of something bigger than
yourself and that you had peoplethat could be there to rally
around you when things weregoing well and to be there to
help you out when things weren't, and so feeling like you have
that support system, and itcould be friends or family, but
(13:31):
everyone that I interviewed hada great support system, great
community.
I think third and fourth kind ofgo hand in hand, which is like
resilience and positivity, theway that you look at life, and
many of the people in the film,because of their age group, they
dealt with World War II and allthe trials and tribulations
that came along with that.
But how do you reframe what'shappening around you?
(13:52):
How do you make it so that youcan get through those tough
times and still look back onthat in some positive way and
still look forward, and thatresilience to keep going on,
looking at life as the glass ishalf full rather than half empty
.
And so those were the thingsthat I learned the common traits
, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (14:09):
Yeah, but you're still now an Indie
filmmaker.
Sky Bergman (14:14):
Yes, I'm working on a number of films right now.
Beverley Glazer (14:17):
Indeed, oh, yes , oh yes, how did you got it on
PBS?
How did you manage to do that?
Because PBS and indie doesn'twork.
Sky Bergman (14:28):
Well, I think, being respectfully persistent so
I had a mentor when I was ingraduate school who would say no
is just a starting point.
And so, being respectfullypersistent, continuing to reach
out sometimes one person willsay no and another six months
later another person has takenover and all of a sudden they
(14:49):
say yes to something.
So, I think, knowing that thatwas something that I really
wanted for the film, to get iton PBS and and just you know,
pursuing it with, uh, thepassion that I pursue everything
else with, and uh, it's hardsometimes not to get down when
you hear no, but thinking abouthow can I reframe this and how
can I repitch it so that I getto yes.
(15:12):
And it took a couple of years,really.
And then we had to findsponsors and it was during the
pandemic when it aired, and soit was difficult.
We actually postponed ourbroadcast by a year to make that
happen.
And so, playing the long gameand waiting for things to happen
, I think sometimes the bestthings take a little bit more
time than you think, but it'sworth the wait in the end.
Beverley Glazer (15:33):
Yeah, I'm hearing right through it
Positivity and resilience, andjust keep on going with that
passion.
It's wonderful to hear.
So how can you speak to women50 plus who don't really have a
support system, who have had acareer and you know those are
(15:57):
their people and they don't havestudents around them, it's you
know.
And then they're getting olderand retirement is ahead and
travel sounds wonderful for awhile, but after a while it
wears thin.
A support system when, wouldyou say, you can start if you
just really don't have it?
Sky Bergman (16:13):
Well, that's a really good question, because
when I was in my mid forties andI was department chair, I
looked around at my friend groupand I realized, oh my goodness,
everybody is tied to theuniversity and I don't really
have a support system outside ofthat and I need to make more
women friends.
I had something happen to afriend of mine and I realized it
was all her women friends thatcame to her aid and I just
(16:35):
thought, wow, something happenedto me.
I don't have that right.
I don't feel like I have thatright now, and so I think, start
small.
What I did was I started aladies dinner.
It was the first Monday ofevery month.
It was a big potluck and youdidn't.
There was no book club.
You don't have to do anythingfor it except bring something to
eat or drink, and I now have150 people on my email list that
(16:56):
come and what I said was bringyour friends, you don't have to
RSVP, make it consistent.
And somehow that worked.
And all of a sudden I have thisnew friend group that are from
range from 20 to 90 and an ageand all different varieties of
people from all different walksof life.
I mean, I would even if I wastalking to somebody in the
grocery line and I thought theysounded interesting, I would say
(17:18):
I know this sounds weird, but Ido this women's group and if
you'd like to be part of it andyou would be surprised at how
many people are longing forconnectivity and for wanting to
be part of something.
I even saw recently, in thelast couple of weeks, on
Facebook there's a group for ourlocal community and a woman
posted there.
Hey, I'm trying to get thiswoman's group together just to
(17:39):
do crafts together.
It's going to be every Thursday, you know.
So people are doing that inmany different ways.
My way was around food becauseI'm Italian.
So what do you do to bringpeople together?
We eat together.
But I also think, if you arefeeling alone and isolated,
another thing that you can dovery easily is find causes that
(18:00):
you're interested in and becomeinvolved.
If you're around like-mindedpeople, that's where you can
meet people that can be yourfriends and you're giving back
in some way.
So it's also this sense ofpurpose.
But finding your tribe, findingyour community, I think is
really good.
You have to go out and make ithappen.
It's not just going to come toyou.
So I think you have to be verydeliberate in how you form that
(18:20):
community and saying yes tothings that sound interesting
and maybe iffy and saying no tothings that don't really feel
right.
I mean, I think kind of findingthat balance is really
important, but be proactive.
Beverley Glazer (18:33):
And you also wrote the book.
Tell us about that.
Sky Bergman (18:39):
Well, I wrote the Lives Will Live Generations book
for a couple of reasons.
One is and I'm dyslexic, soit's really tough for me to
write, but it just felt like Ineeded to do it and it took me a
couple of years to get it done.
But I had so many people thatwere asking me please talk about
what did you learn from all theinterviews that you did, from
all that wisdom that you gained?
How did you make something likethat happen?
(19:01):
Being a first-time filmmaker,and then I've been doing a lot
of work connecting generations,not only with my film but in
giving talks and to differentcompanies and educational
institutions and communities,and so I wanted to dedicate the
second half of the book toreally interesting organizations
that are connecting generationsaround the globe.
(19:23):
I feel like right now we live insuch an age segregated world
and it's kind of this us versusthem and in so many ways, and so
whatever we can do to breakdown those barriers.
And the second half of the bookwas really I interviewed.
I spent about a year and a halfinterviewing 40 people around
the globe who are doing worklike from an intergenerational
symphony to co-generationalhousing, to this organization in
(19:46):
Denmark called Cycling WithoutAge.
I mean just some reallyinteresting innovative ways to
hopefully inspire people toeither become part of those
organizations or to think aboutwhat they could do in their own
life, to do something to connectgenerations.
And that goes along to yourformer question about how do you
not feel so isolated?
Well, you know, do something,be part of something, and these
(20:08):
intergenerational activities arecertainly one way to do that
and tell us about thoseactivities that you actually did
do.
Beverley Glazer (20:19):
You were connecting your students.
You were connecting with olderadults.
What was that all about?
Sky Bergman (20:23):
Yeah, so we have a project that is based on a class
called the Psychology of Agingand that's taught every quarter
at the university here and thatprofessor and I teamed up to
kind of create this projectwhere we go in with the students
to older adults, we connectwith the older adults, we show
(20:44):
the film.
So that's kind of a startingpoint, and I do a big Q&A and
then the students and olderadults use the questions that I
formulated for the Lives WillLive film as a starting point to
interview each other, to get toknow each other, because the
hardest thing when you throwpeople together is like how do
you start that conversation?
So this is kind of like an icebreaker to start that
conversation.
And then we have a big wrap.
(21:05):
We do a photo shoot.
I get to do a photo shoot ofthe pairs, which is lovely.
You can see the connectionsthat form in such a short period
of time when we do this photoshoot.
And then at the end of thequarter we do a big wrap party
where the students and olderadults talk about what they've
learned from each other and it'sjust such a beautiful thing.
And even during the pandemic westill did this project where we
(21:26):
work with Senior Planet, whichis part of AARP, to do it on a
virtual basis, and one of themost beautiful things to me was
this young student.
A young man said at the end ofit this was the first new friend
that he had made during thepandemic and I thought how cool
is that?
That his first new friend isthis older adult from doing this
project.
And I think, you know, studentsand older adults tend to be the
(21:49):
more lonely people in the world, more socially isolated,
believe it or not, and sobringing those two groups of
people together was such awonderful experience.
And, of course, the commontheme that we hear at the end of
the project is that theyrealize that they have far more
in common than their differencesand really the only difference
is their age, and it's just sucha beautiful project to be part
(22:12):
of.
Beverley Glazer (22:14):
What do you want the listeners to take away
from all this, all this wisdom?
Sky Bergman (22:22):
I would say a couple of things.
One is live your life withpassion.
You know, follow your heart,follow your passion, create your
community and, in the words ofmy grandmother, always be kind.
If we were all a little kinderto each other, the world would
be a beautiful place.
Beverley Glazer (22:39):
Perfect.
Thank you, skye.
Skye Bergman is a filmmaker andprofessor emeritus of
photography and video at CalPoly, St Louis Obispo, after a
30-year teaching career.
Her work is in museumcollections, it has appeared in
(23:00):
renowned magazines like theSmithsonian, and Skye's passion
is creating films that inspireintergenerational connections.
Her successful PBS documentaryLives Well-Lived and her book
Lives Well-Lived Generationscelebrates the richness of life
at any age, and here's sometakeaways from this episode.
(23:24):
Connecting with differentgenerations creates a ripple
effect of wisdom.
Understanding Aging withpurpose is the key to living a
fulfilling life, and building astrong support network and
embracing a positive mindset isessential for thriving as we
(23:44):
grow old.
If you've been relating to thisepisode, think of one small
step that you can take toenhance your life.
Perhaps it's connecting withfriends or family, or joining a
community, or simply changingyour mindset and being more
positive about your life.
For similar episodes on livinglife to the fullest, please
(24:07):
check out Aging with Purpose andPassion, episodes number 96 and
122.
And if you've enjoyed thisstory, catherine Mariano and
Gail Solitsky co-host theirweekly podcast Women Over 70,
aging Reimagined, where womenages 70 to 110 rewrite the
(24:28):
narrative on aging.
That link will also be in theshow notes it's
wwwwomenover70.com, and so wherecan people learn more about
your work, skye, see your work,buy your book?
What are the links?
Sky Bergman (24:45):
The best link to use is skybergmanproductionscom.
That has all of my work onthere, so all the films that I'm
working on, and a link to mybook, and it'll take you to
Amazon.
It's on Kindle and paperback,so that's the best link
skybergmanproductions.
com.
Beverley Glazer (25:03):
Terrific.
That link will be in the shownotes and it'll also be in my
site too.
That's reinventedpossiblecom.
And now, my friends, what'snext for you?
Are you just going through themotions or are you really
passionate about your life?
Check my free checklist from gofrom stuck to unstoppable to
(25:24):
unlock your full potential, andthat link will be in the show
notes too.
You can connect with me,Beverly Glazer, on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook, women Over 50 Rock.
And if you're looking forguidance in your own life, I
invite you to exploreReinventimpossible.
com.
(25:45):
Thank you for listening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
Please drop a review, share itwith a friend and always
remember that you only have onelife, so keep aging with purpose
and passion.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Thank you for joining us.
You can connect with Bev on herwebsite, reinventimpossible.
com and, while you're there,join our newsletter Subscribe so
you don't miss an episode.
Until next time, keep agingwith purpose and passion and
(26:33):
celebrate life.
Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the
podcast designed to inspire yourgreatness and thrive through
life.
Get ready to conquer your fears.
Here's your host.
Psychotherapist coach andempowerment expert Beverley
Glaer.
Psychotherapist coach andempowerment expert, beverly.
Beverley Glazer (00:26):
Glazer, have you been thinking of leaving a
legacy?
Well, welcome to Aging withPurpose and Passion.
I'm Beverley Glazer, and I'm atransformational coach and
catalyst, empowering women tostep into their confidence, take
a leap of faith and create thelife that they truly deserve.
(00:46):
And you can find me onreinventimpossiblecom.
So are you ready to discoveryour full potential?
Today, I'm joined by SkyBergman, a filmmaker, professor
emeritus of Photography andVideo at Cal Poly, st Louis
(01:07):
Obispo, where she spent a30-year teaching career, and her
work is in museum collectionsand it's appeared in renowned
magazines like the Smithsonian.
And Sky's passion today iscreating films that inspire
intergenerational connections.
Her successful PBS documentaryLives Well-Lived and her book
(01:32):
Lives Well-Lived Generationscelebrates life's essence and
the richness of life at everyage.
So, whether you're looking formeaning or building stronger
relationships, or embracing yourlegacy, this conversation will
inspire you to live withintention and joy.
(01:53):
So keep listening.
Welcome, skye.
Sky Bergman (01:58):
Wow, thank you for that introduction.
I love that.
Thank you so much for having me, Beverly.
This is a joy, Well.
Beverley Glazer (02:04):
Sky, you grew up in a multi-generational home
and not everybody has.
I have for a short time, and itwas a lot different than what
you have been talking about anddescribing.
Tell me what was it like foryou growing up in this
(02:27):
multi-generational home and whowas there and what was it all
about?
Sky Bergman (02:31):
Well, I was very lucky to live with my parents,
my grandparents and even mygreat-grandmother, who lived to
be into her late 90s.
I was 19 when she passed away,so she was definitely also an
influence in my life.
I had no concept that afour-generational household was
a unique thing, because you knowwhen you're a kid, that's your
own lived experience, that'swhat you know, and I think that
(02:55):
what was wonderful was thatwe're Italian and so we, as many
Italians do, sit around thetable for many hours, especially
on Sundays where we'd havethese long meals and the stories
would come out after dinner.
And you know, I think that thatwisdom was passed down from one
generation to the next, and Ijust feel so fortunate to have
(03:16):
had that connection, not onlywith my grandparents and my
great grandmother, but also withtheir friends, because they
would always have friends comingin and out of the house.
Also with their friends,because they would always have
friends coming in and out of thehouse, and so I grew up being
very comfortable around olderadults and really learning their
lessons and listening tostories.
So I think that that's wheremaybe my passion started, and I
should also say that my dad wasa geriatric physician from the
(03:40):
time that he finished medicalschool.
From the time that he finishedmedical school and I think that
that certainly played a role inmy desire to learn more about
older adults, because he wouldcome home from work and talk
about the amazing stories of thepeople that he had met through
his, his profession and andseeing them as patients and
really listening to their livesnot just listening to what was
(04:02):
wrong with them at that moment,but listening to their stories
about their lived experience,and I think that certainly
permeated who I am as well.
Beverley Glazer (04:12):
But you became a professor, yes, yes, and
teaching for 30 years.
Sky Bergman (04:20):
Yeah.
Beverley Glazer (04:20):
I loved it, so why did you take the leap from
academia?
Sky Bergman (04:26):
Well, I should go back to why did I even take a
leap into academia, which waswhen I was an undergrad.
My undergraduate degree wasactually in finance, and I took
a photography class for fun mylast semester in school and I
fell in love with the magic ofthe dark room and watching the
(04:46):
image emerge in the developersomething that we don't really
do in this day and age.
But it was so magical and Irealized at that moment that I,
although I was good with numbers, it wasn't making me happy, it
wasn't my passion and I was inmy early twenties at that point.
But I thought I don't want tosettle in my early twenties for
(05:06):
something that you know can makeme money but I'm not happy
doing it.
And so I realized that not onlydid I want to be a photographer
in that moment, but that Iwanted to be a university
professor.
I love that environment oflearning and being in the
university.
And so I went to my teacher atthe time, who I'm still friends
with to this day, and I said tohim Lou, I'd like a job like
(05:29):
yours, how do I do that?
And he took me under his wingand really helped mentor me and
got me into, helped me get intograduate school, and I became a
professor of photography for 30years and loved every minute of
it.
But when I was approaching my50s, I was, I had been
department chair.
You know I'd done everything atthe university and I was really
(05:51):
looking at role models for whatI could become in the next half
of my life.
You know I had this amazingrole model my grandmother, who
was 100 and still working out atthe gym.
And I'm 59 now, so fulldisclosure.
I was in my mid-40s so about 15years ago, and everything that
I was seeing in the media wereall the things that we could do
(06:12):
to avoid aging, all theanti-aging creams, and
everything that was beingdepicted in the movies or on TV
series were the negative aspectsof aging.
I do think that that's changedin the 15 years since I
experienced that, but at thattime it was such a negative
thing and, let's face it, theone thing that we all have in
common is that we age each andevery day, so we might as well
(06:34):
learn to embrace it rather thandread it.
And having this incredible rolemodel in my own family of my
grandmother who I was so closewith, you know, because I grew
up with her I think that thatspurred me on to a completely
new career, and it started offactually doing cooking videos of
my grandmother, because she wasan amazing cook who never wrote
(06:55):
a recipe down, and I realizedthat I didn't want to just write
her recipes down or just doaudio.
I wanted to see the gesture ofher hand she's Italian, so
gestures, but I wanted to reallycapture that and so that was my
first foray into filmmaking,into doing any video work at all
, was doing these cooking videosof my grandmother that I called
(07:16):
Cucina Nana, which meansgrandma's kitchen, and I loved
it and again I had that kind ofaha moment like I had back when
in my early twenties, when I wasin the dark room and watching
the image emerge in thedeveloper.
Aha, I'm a storyteller, I lovedoing this and I need to do more
of this and as I'm looking at50 and looking for positive role
(07:37):
models of aging, I need to findother people out there, like my
grandmother, who are aging wellcan be my role models that I
can document and um, and thatset me on this new, completely
new path of being a filmmaker,and how are you able to do that?
Beverley Glazer (07:51):
I mean, this costs money.
I don't have to tell.
Sky Bergman (07:56):
No, you don't have to tell me.
Well, I think that one of thethings that I've always done and
you know I was at thiscrossroads of me do I become a
finance major or a photographer?
And certainly if I was doing itfor the money, I would have
done the finance major part ofit.
I have always followed mypassion and my heart and always
let that lead me in whateverdirection I'm going, and I think
(08:16):
that when you have a passionproject and you're authentic,
people want to help you and thatthat was certainly the case for
lives well-lived.
So I had no idea of what I wasdoing.
I mean, like I said, the onlyvideos that I'd done were these
cooking videos of my grandmother, um.
But at the time the Apple storehad help for people that were
working on projects and I wouldgo into the Apple store and I
(08:37):
had three guys in there who Icalled my Apple gurus and I
actually gave them a film creditand I would go in for that
one-on-one help and they wouldhelp me.
I didn't even know what toGoogle or YouTube to ask the
questions about filmmaking,since I knew nothing and they
were like my teachers and I havelearned through this process
that it is actually a sign ofstrength to ask for help and to
(08:59):
say I don't know how to dosomething, can you help me?
And I think when I was youngerI was a little more intimidated
to do that.
And now it's like hey, I know Ihave this idea for a project,
how can I make this happen andwho can I ask to help me?
And I think that I also lookedfor creative ways to finance my
film.
So I'm lucky because I do havemy day job, which was teaching.
(09:20):
That was funding my life, butthen funding a film, because I
thought it was very important topay everyone that worked for me
on the film.
I think, as a creative, we gettaken advantage of a lot of
times for in quotes, exposure,and I didn't want to do that.
So I made sure that everyonethat worked for me it was my
passion project, not theirs Imade sure everyone got paid, and
(09:40):
so I thought how can I fundthis so it's not just all coming
out of my savings?
So I started renting out roomsin my house through Airbnb and I
would tell the people that wererenting rooms hey, I'm working
on this film and you are nowhelping me fund this film.
And not only did I get fundingout of doing that, but I also
ended up with these amazingpeople who were like passionate
(10:03):
supporters of the film.
So they were coming fromsupporters of the film, so they
were coming from all over thecountry and when the film went
to film festivals all over thecountry they would go and cheer
me on and it was lovely.
I mean, it kind of worked inmany ways.
So think outside the box, andit's what I guess I'm saying.
Follow your heart, follow yourpassion and think outside the
box in terms of ways to makethings happen.
Beverley Glazer (10:24):
Amazing.
Sky Bergman (10:25):
Tell us about Lives Well Lived start working out at
(10:49):
the gym until she was 80.
So she taught me that it'snever too late to start
something new, even working outat the gym, and I did a little
video of her working out at thegym and give me some of her
words of wisdom, and I came backfrom.
This was for her 100th birthdayand I came back from that trip.
She lived in Florida and I'm inCalifornia and I thought I'm
going to put this little videotogether and then I'm going to
ask all of my friends, familyand all the alum I've taught
(11:10):
over the years I've been at theuniversity do you have somebody
in your life that's as much aninspiration as my grandmother is
to me?
And so I kind of put a call toaction out there hey, please
nominate people if you have them, because I'm working on this
project.
I don't know where it's going togo or what I'm going to do, but
this is what I'm looking for,and I was inundated by
(11:31):
heartwarming nominations to bepart of this project and that
was really how I got started.
And so I spent four yearsinterviewing 40 people that were
75 plus, with a collective lifeexperience of 3000 years, and
came up with this film and itwas just such a joyous moment in
my life because I just took thetime to really listen to
(11:51):
people's stories, and what agift that was.
I'm forever changed as a resultof that.
Beverley Glazer (11:57):
Yes, I was going to ask you that next
question how were you changed?
Sky Bergman (12:02):
Well, I think I like to say that my grandmother
left me the greatest gift, whichis the gift of 40 new
grandparents, because I thinkall the people in the film kind
of adopted me as their pseudograndchild and I adopted them as
well, and so you know thesewonderful friendships.
But also I, part of why I wrotethe book was because there were
really four lessons that Ilearned from all these people,
(12:25):
and I'm not a social scientist,I was coming at it from an
artist's point of view and avery personal point of view.
So I was looking for people whowere aging positively and I was
doing a cross section ofeverybody 75 and older.
And the four things that Ithink all these people had in
common was one the mostimportant was having a sense of
purpose.
And boy, that purpose canchange over time.
(12:45):
And I know, I see that.
You know, when I was teaching atthe university I'd see that
with college students who all ofa sudden realized, oh, my
goodness, I'm in the wrong major, where's my purpose?
And they were kind ofstruggling Right.
And I think the other big time,another big time that many
older adults have this is whenwe retire from our jobs and we
have to redefine who we are andbut having that reason that we
(13:10):
get up every morning, thatreason that for being that
reason that we give back, Ithink that was super important.
I think the second thing wasreally, um, having a sense of
community, feeling like you're apart of something bigger than
yourself and that you had peoplethat could be there to rally
around you when things weregoing well and to be there to
help you out when things weren't, and so feeling like you have
that support system, and itcould be friends or family, but
(13:31):
everyone that I interviewed hada great support system, great
community.
I think third and fourth kind ofgo hand in hand, which is like
resilience and positivity, theway that you look at life, and
many of the people in the film,because of their age group, they
dealt with World War II and allthe trials and tribulations
that came along with that.
But how do you reframe what'shappening around you?
(13:52):
How do you make it so that youcan get through those tough
times and still look back onthat in some positive way and
still look forward, and thatresilience to keep going on,
looking at life as the glass ishalf full rather than half empty
.
And so those were the thingsthat I learned the common traits
, yeah.
Beverley Glazer (14:09):
Yeah, but you're still now an Indie
filmmaker.
Sky Bergman (14:14):
Yes, I'm working on a number of films right now.
Beverley Glazer (14:17):
Indeed, oh, yes , oh yes, how did you got it on
PBS?
How did you manage to do that?
Because PBS and indie doesn'twork.
Sky Bergman (14:28):
Well, I think, being respectfully persistent so
I had a mentor when I was ingraduate school who would say no
is just a starting point.
And so, being respectfullypersistent, continuing to reach
out sometimes one person willsay no and another six months
later another person has takenover and all of a sudden they
(14:49):
say yes to something.
So, I think, knowing that thatwas something that I really
wanted for the film, to get iton PBS and and just you know,
pursuing it with, uh, thepassion that I pursue everything
else with, and uh, it's hardsometimes not to get down when
you hear no, but thinking abouthow can I reframe this and how
can I repitch it so that I getto yes.
(15:12):
And it took a couple of years,really.
And then we had to findsponsors and it was during the
pandemic when it aired, and soit was difficult.
We actually postponed ourbroadcast by a year to make that
happen.
And so, playing the long gameand waiting for things to happen
, I think sometimes the bestthings take a little bit more
time than you think, but it'sworth the wait in the end.
Beverley Glazer (15:33):
Yeah, I'm hearing right through it
Positivity and resilience, andjust keep on going with that
passion.
It's wonderful to hear.
So how can you speak to women50 plus who don't really have a
support system, who have had acareer and you know those are
(15:57):
their people and they don't havestudents around them, it's you
know.
And then they're getting olderand retirement is ahead and
travel sounds wonderful for awhile, but after a while it
wears thin.
A support system when, wouldyou say, you can start if you
just really don't have it?
Sky Bergman (16:13):
Well, that's a really good question, because
when I was in my mid forties andI was department chair, I
looked around at my friend groupand I realized, oh my goodness,
everybody is tied to theuniversity and I don't really
have a support system outside ofthat and I need to make more
women friends.
I had something happen to afriend of mine and I realized it
was all her women friends thatcame to her aid and I just
(16:35):
thought, wow, something happenedto me.
I don't have that right.
I don't feel like I have thatright now, and so I think, start
small.
What I did was I started aladies dinner.
It was the first Monday ofevery month.
It was a big potluck and youdidn't.
There was no book club.
You don't have to do anythingfor it except bring something to
eat or drink, and I now have150 people on my email list that
(16:56):
come and what I said was bringyour friends, you don't have to
RSVP, make it consistent.
And somehow that worked.
And all of a sudden I have thisnew friend group that are from
range from 20 to 90 and an ageand all different varieties of
people from all different walksof life.
I mean, I would even if I wastalking to somebody in the
grocery line and I thought theysounded interesting, I would say
(17:18):
I know this sounds weird, but Ido this women's group and if
you'd like to be part of it andyou would be surprised at how
many people are longing forconnectivity and for wanting to
be part of something.
I even saw recently, in thelast couple of weeks, on
Facebook there's a group for ourlocal community and a woman
posted there.
Hey, I'm trying to get thiswoman's group together just to
(17:39):
do crafts together.
It's going to be every Thursday, you know.
So people are doing that inmany different ways.
My way was around food becauseI'm Italian.
So what do you do to bringpeople together?
We eat together.
But I also think, if you arefeeling alone and isolated,
another thing that you can dovery easily is find causes that
(18:00):
you're interested in and becomeinvolved.
If you're around like-mindedpeople, that's where you can
meet people that can be yourfriends and you're giving back
in some way.
So it's also this sense ofpurpose.
But finding your tribe, findingyour community, I think is
really good.
You have to go out and make ithappen.
It's not just going to come toyou.
So I think you have to be verydeliberate in how you form that
(18:20):
community and saying yes tothings that sound interesting
and maybe iffy and saying no tothings that don't really feel
right.
I mean, I think kind of findingthat balance is really
important, but be proactive.
Beverley Glazer (18:33):
And you also wrote the book.
Tell us about that.
Sky Bergman (18:39):
Well, I wrote the Lives Will Live Generations book
for a couple of reasons.
One is and I'm dyslexic, soit's really tough for me to
write, but it just felt like Ineeded to do it and it took me a
couple of years to get it done.
But I had so many people thatwere asking me please talk about
what did you learn from all theinterviews that you did, from
all that wisdom that you gained?
How did you make something likethat happen?
(19:01):
Being a first-time filmmaker,and then I've been doing a lot
of work connecting generations,not only with my film but in
giving talks and to differentcompanies and educational
institutions and communities,and so I wanted to dedicate the
second half of the book toreally interesting organizations
that are connecting generationsaround the globe.
(19:23):
I feel like right now we live insuch an age segregated world
and it's kind of this us versusthem and in so many ways, and so
whatever we can do to breakdown those barriers.
And the second half of the bookwas really I interviewed.
I spent about a year and a halfinterviewing 40 people around
the globe who are doing worklike from an intergenerational
symphony to co-generationalhousing, to this organization in
(19:46):
Denmark called Cycling WithoutAge.
I mean just some reallyinteresting innovative ways to
hopefully inspire people toeither become part of those
organizations or to think aboutwhat they could do in their own
life, to do something to connectgenerations.
And that goes along to yourformer question about how do you
not feel so isolated?
Well, you know, do something,be part of something, and these
(20:08):
intergenerational activities arecertainly one way to do that
and tell us about thoseactivities that you actually did
do.
Beverley Glazer (20:19):
You were connecting your students.
You were connecting with olderadults.
What was that all about?
Sky Bergman (20:23):
Yeah, so we have a project that is based on a class
called the Psychology of Agingand that's taught every quarter
at the university here and thatprofessor and I teamed up to
kind of create this projectwhere we go in with the students
to older adults, we connectwith the older adults, we show
(20:44):
the film.
So that's kind of a startingpoint, and I do a big Q&A and
then the students and olderadults use the questions that I
formulated for the Lives WillLive film as a starting point to
interview each other, to get toknow each other, because the
hardest thing when you throwpeople together is like how do
you start that conversation?
So this is kind of like an icebreaker to start that
conversation.
And then we have a big wrap.
(21:05):
We do a photo shoot.
I get to do a photo shoot ofthe pairs, which is lovely.
You can see the connectionsthat form in such a short period
of time when we do this photoshoot.
And then at the end of thequarter we do a big wrap party
where the students and olderadults talk about what they've
learned from each other and it'sjust such a beautiful thing.
And even during the pandemic westill did this project where we
(21:26):
work with Senior Planet, whichis part of AARP, to do it on a
virtual basis, and one of themost beautiful things to me was
this young student.
A young man said at the end ofit this was the first new friend
that he had made during thepandemic and I thought how cool
is that?
That his first new friend isthis older adult from doing this
project.
And I think, you know, studentsand older adults tend to be the
(21:49):
more lonely people in the world, more socially isolated,
believe it or not, and sobringing those two groups of
people together was such awonderful experience.
And, of course, the commontheme that we hear at the end of
the project is that theyrealize that they have far more
in common than their differencesand really the only difference
is their age, and it's just sucha beautiful project to be part
(22:12):
of.
Beverley Glazer (22:14):
What do you want the listeners to take away
from all this, all this wisdom?
Sky Bergman (22:22):
I would say a couple of things.
One is live your life withpassion.
You know, follow your heart,follow your passion, create your
community and, in the words ofmy grandmother, always be kind.
If we were all a little kinderto each other, the world would
be a beautiful place.
Beverley Glazer (22:39):
Perfect.
Thank you, skye.
Skye Bergman is a filmmaker andprofessor emeritus of
photography and video at CalPoly, St Louis Obispo, after a
30-year teaching career.
Her work is in museumcollections, it has appeared in
(23:00):
renowned magazines like theSmithsonian, and Skye's passion
is creating films that inspireintergenerational connections.
Her successful PBS documentaryLives Well-Lived and her book
Lives Well-Lived Generationscelebrates the richness of life
at any age, and here's sometakeaways from this episode.
(23:24):
Connecting with differentgenerations creates a ripple
effect of wisdom.
Understanding Aging withpurpose is the key to living a
fulfilling life, and building astrong support network and
embracing a positive mindset isessential for thriving as we
(23:44):
grow old.
If you've been relating to thisepisode, think of one small
step that you can take toenhance your life.
Perhaps it's connecting withfriends or family, or joining a
community, or simply changingyour mindset and being more
positive about your life.
For similar episodes on livinglife to the fullest, please
(24:07):
check out Aging with Purpose andPassion, episodes number 96 and
122.
And if you've enjoyed thisstory, catherine Mariano and
Gail Solitsky co-host theirweekly podcast Women Over 70,
aging Reimagined, where womenages 70 to 110 rewrite the
(24:28):
narrative on aging.
That link will also be in theshow notes it's
wwwwomenover70.com, and so wherecan people learn more about
your work, skye, see your work,buy your book?
What are the links?
Sky Bergman (24:45):
The best link to use is skybergmanproductionscom.
That has all of my work onthere, so all the films that I'm
working on, and a link to mybook, and it'll take you to
Amazon.
It's on Kindle and paperback,so that's the best link
skybergmanproductions.
com.
Beverley Glazer (25:03):
Terrific.
That link will be in the shownotes and it'll also be in my
site too.
That's reinventedpossiblecom.
And now, my friends, what'snext for you?
Are you just going through themotions or are you really
passionate about your life?
Check my free checklist from gofrom stuck to unstoppable to
(25:24):
unlock your full potential, andthat link will be in the show
notes too.
You can connect with me,Beverly Glazer, on all social
media platforms and in mypositive group of women on
Facebook, women Over 50 Rock.
And if you're looking forguidance in your own life, I
invite you to exploreReinventimpossible.
com.
(25:45):
Thank you for listening.
Have you enjoyed thisconversation?
Please drop a review, share itwith a friend and always
remember that you only have onelife, so keep aging with purpose
and passion.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Thank you for joining us.
You can connect with Bev on herwebsite, reinventimpossible.
com and, while you're there,join our newsletter Subscribe so
you don't miss an episode.
Until next time, keep agingwith purpose and passion and
(26:33):
celebrate life.
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