September 1, 2025 • 25 mins
Christian ; Follower of GOD Servant of CHRIST
Decorated Combat VeteranCorporate; U.S. Marine Corps Urban Warfare Instrictor;
S.R.T. Commander Active Shooter Response Team
Law Enforcement Los Angeles Police (L.A.P.D.) Police Officer / Fugitive Recovery
F.B.I. Instructor N.R.A Instructor
Competition Shooter; Multi Time State Rifle Pistol Champion
Hunting; Life Long Hunter Proffessional Hunter and Guide
Private Security Contractor; Several Agencies, Current.
GOD Provides / JESUS Saves
Decorated Combat VeteranCorporate; U.S. Marine Corps Urban Warfare Instrictor;
S.R.T. Commander Active Shooter Response Team
Law Enforcement Los Angeles Police (L.A.P.D.) Police Officer / Fugitive Recovery
F.B.I. Instructor N.R.A Instructor
Competition Shooter; Multi Time State Rifle Pistol Champion
Hunting; Life Long Hunter Proffessional Hunter and Guide
Private Security Contractor; Several Agencies, Current.
GOD Provides / JESUS Saves
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Twenty years? Is it a long time? It's been twenty
years since the invasion of Iraq, and the anniversary went
by without a lot of pomp and circumstance. Perhaps it's
a thing that a lot of Americans would like to forget,
(00:24):
But for a lot of us who were there, it's
something will likely never forget. The invasion of Iraq. Less
about what it did to change a nation, more about
what it did to change a man. A young Marine.
(00:47):
Welcome to Alpha Male Podcast, the podcast where we talk
about what it means to be a man the right
way with God at the center. After all, we men
are made in the image of God. With that, I'm
going to plug in the bio and then we'll get
into the main topic. So who am I? Who is
(01:09):
this person talking to you from across the internet? Why
should you listen? First and foremost, I am a Christian,
a servant of God and a follower of Jesus Christ.
God has blessed me to do many things in my life,
for I could do nothing apart from Him. US Marine
Corps combat veteran did a couple of tours in Iraq
(01:33):
as an assaultman. After my combat tours, I was an
urban warfare instructor for the Marine Corps under Mahave Viper
also served in the US Army both full time and
part time. National Guard also did several years in law
enforcement LAPD. I worked regular assignments and more specialized assignments.
Been a private contractor for a three letter government agency.
(01:54):
That's all I'll say about that. Been blessed to be
a state rifle and pistol champion and West Coast Regional
Rifle Champion. One more shooting competitions with the talent that
God's given me that I can actually remember. Was blessed
to be the commander of a tactical team in a
large metropolitan area. Our primary job, the reason we primarily existed,
(02:17):
was to stop active shooters. I got the opportunity to
head up and be the commander of that team. I
grew up around guns hunting and shooting and competing at
a very early age. Been blessed to hunt all over
this beautiful country, from white Tail on the East coast
to Mulder on the West coast, and bear and elk
and all manner of things. I've even been a professional
(02:38):
big game hunter and guide. But again, most importantly, I'm
a Christian and I am your host, Michael Muldo. Welcome
to the podcast. Twenty years since the Invasion of Iraq.
(02:59):
Joined the Marine Corps. I signed up in two thousand
and one pre nine to eleven. Nine to eleven happened,
and it seemed pretty clear shortly after that that we
would be going to war. As a young man naive
a small town, I thought this might be quite exciting,
(03:23):
maybe even glorious. Well fast forward a little bit. There.
It is March of two thousand and three, twenty years ago.
We were staged in Kuwait waiting for orders to be
(03:43):
given to invade Iraq. Well, one night in late March,
the whistle proverbial whistle was blown and we crossed that
border into the nation of Iraq. I should say as
a simple marine grunt infantry assaultment. My view of the
(04:08):
war was pretty narrow and spent largely just trying to
make it through. A few days into that invasion was
my birthday. It would have been my nineteenth birthday. On
the twenty fifth of March two thousand and three, there
(04:31):
was a massive sandstorm. You can go look that up
if you like. But when I say sandstorm, I don't
mean like a little bit of dust blowing. If you've
never experienced a Middle Eastern sandstorm, it almost seems like
you're on another planet on Mars. Everything is red and
(04:52):
you can barely see, and there's dust and dirt everywhere.
It kind of made us stuf. And maybe that's why
I remember it so well, not because it was my birthday,
but because it gave a chance to breathe for a
short period of time on our way to take Baghdad.
(05:15):
And it was so miserable the sandstorm, yes, but the
war as a whole. And I guess when you're just
trying to survive it and get through it, you don't
really process it because I guess that's a normal survival thing.
You just get through it. That gave a little bit
of chance to take a breath because a lot of
(05:37):
stuff was halted, convoys, different operations. It was a massive storm,
and again it gave me time to reflect and think
before we pushed again. Now, if you think this is
going to be a lot of war stories about glorious
battles and gunfights, you know that's just that's not me.
(06:01):
And do a whole other podcast, Gunfighter Life, where I
talk about guns and different aspects of that, and I've
been professional gunfighter most of my adult life and God's
gotten me through a lot. But I'm not going to
sit here and tell you stories of glory, and I
certainly don't want to glorify things that are not glorious.
(06:22):
You can extrapolate from that experience and all that was
going on. You can look up all manner of history
and stuff can probably get a clearer picture of everything
that was going on than I have. Because I said,
my view is pretty narrow. I know what I did
and what I saw, and what I saw was horrific.
Two things in my life really changed me, really changed me,
(06:47):
and one was this war. A naive, small town boy
young man that went to Iraq and those desert sands
in that moondust and saw so much misery on both
sides and death, and a nation and a capital city
(07:13):
descending from a pretty normal culture and lifestyle into death
and destruction and chaos. I remember one time, just looking
out at a field of death. I remember seeing somebody
(07:34):
lying there. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna cut that off.
I'm not gonna get too graphic on the show. I
know kids listen and don't want to turn this into
into a war story, into that kind of episode. But
the point of that is, I don't know how you
(07:56):
could as a man see those kinds of things and
go through those kind of times and not be changed.
How could you see such suffering and misery and atrocity
and death and not be changed. I don't know. It
(08:21):
certainly changed me, and I imagine it changed us all again.
This is less a story about how we toppled the
nation or how it changed our nation. I'm speaking from
my perspective that God has allowed me to live through.
It certainly changed me as a man, as a person.
(08:46):
The person that went to war was not the one
who came back. That that person never got out of Iraq,
although I live, that person who went there never came back. Now,
(09:09):
I grew up a heathen meaning like I grew up
the bastard son of a single teenage mother who was
into all kinds of Eastern religion. And I started searching
for kind of meaning, I guess in my high school days.
And I did start, you know, going to church and
doing things like that after looking at a bunch of
(09:31):
other stuff religions, and went to Bible studies. And if
you had asked me, I would have said, yeah, I'm
a Christian. And in Kuwait, while we were waiting for
the invasion, I got baptized because I thought, hey, it's
a good chance I might die. Probably should get baptized.
I'd like to tell you it was some life changing
(09:52):
vision on the Damascus road. Really, that's probably all it was, was, Hey,
I might die, I probably should get baptized. I baptized
in a literal hole, dug in the ground, filled with water,
somewhere in Kuwait. And I'd like to say that after
(10:14):
after this invasion, I really turned to the straight and
narrow path and went the right way. This was the
first time I went to war. It wouldn't be the last.
I'd like to tell you that it scared me straight,
that it changed me for the better. It certainly changed me,
(10:38):
but I can't say that in good conscience. I honestly
kind of turned my back on God. And I think
it started here. You would think, after seeing something so hillatious,
so miserable, and so much wrong in the world and
(10:58):
so much death. If earth could be that bad, how
bad must hell be. I'd like to say it scared
me straight, but it didn't, And in fact, it did
the opposite. I strayed from God. And if you had
asked me, I would have said, yeah, I'm a Christian,
but I meant that more in word than an actual deed,
(11:20):
and I kind of turned my back. And I made
it through. I made it through that invasion, made it
through the taking of Baghdad, the capital city, and many
many long days in war, both that deployment and after that.
(11:44):
And God got me through that alive, not because I
was better than any of the men that died over there,
that didn't make it back, not because of that, simply
because he chose to have mercy on me, not because
I deserved it, because I certainly didn't, especially when He
was giving me breath every day, keeping me alive every day,
and I turned my back on him over and over again.
(12:07):
And fast forward. I get out of the Marine Corps
and I go to work for LAPD for a poor
boy from the South. This was kind of what I
thought I had been looking for. Started me on a
path where I mean, I wasn't a millionaire, but I
was making really good money. Ended up with a couple
of cars and a house up in the hills and
(12:29):
a prestigious job and a couple of girls I'm a
shamed to say, a fiance and a girlfriend on the side,
and just the things that culture and society say are
going to make you happy, drinking, going out parties, the
things that culture says is going to make you happy.
(12:51):
I had all that, and here's the scary part. I
was miserable. I was this miserable and term only as
I was in those sands in Iraq, maybe more so
because at the time I probably could rationalize that this
is really really bad, but it'll get better. Things will
get better. Although externally they got better, I was still
(13:16):
empty inside all those things that I tried to have,
a fulfilled life, money and women, and a prestigious job
with power, a decent house, a nice car. God allowed
me to have all those things, and I realized there
was nothing in them. And late one night, searching, I
(13:39):
had gone back to reading my Bible again. If you
had asked me, how have said I was a Christian?
But I meant it more in word than indeed. And
one night I thought about ending it all. I was done.
I had all this stuff that was supposed to make
me happy in life, and I was miserable, truly depressed,
and I thought I can just end it, drove my
(14:01):
Crown Victoria old police cruiser behind a church and I
literally contemplated ending everything in my life. And this, this
is the second time that I really changed as a man,
and this time for the better, much more than the first,
(14:22):
and not because I'm good, but because God chose to
have mercy on me. Instead of ending it all, I
got down on my knees in the rain in the
middle of the night because I worked grave shift and
gave my life to God. And unlike when I got
baptized in Kuwait, like when I went to church in
(14:43):
high school, I actually meant it because I had tried
living this life without God and there was nothing in it.
No matter how much I got, there was nothing in it.
It was a dead, empty life. And instead of ending it,
I gave my life to God because I had certainly
made a mess of it, especially internally. And even more
(15:03):
than that young naive person disappeared in the sands of Iraq,
I was changed. I was a new creation, and I'm
gonna be honest, that's quite a bit more than I
like sharing in a public form on a podcast. But
I meant it when I said I gave my life
(15:24):
to God. All that I have belongs to God, and
that includes my life, whatever it is. And if this
testimony can help someone out there, maybe you're a veteran
who's struggling. Maybe you're only going to listen to somebody
(15:45):
who's been there, and although my experience is unique and
everybody's just different, even if we were in the same unit,
I have a little bit of a taste of what
it's like. Or perhaps perhaps you know a veteran and
as Jesus says, no prophet has honor in his own country,
(16:07):
maybe you're not going to listen to you because you're
not a veteran and you don't understand what they went through.
Maybe you want to share this and feel free to
It's free. You can share it again. It's not mine
on the podcast platform. It asks for what I do.
All the info, it says owner of podcast, I put
(16:29):
God because everything I am, all that I have, is God's.
And you can share this and help somebody a veteran
that needs help, or maybe not a veteran, maybe he's
just somebody that's struggling with childhood trauma or just life.
Because let me tell you this, as a man who's
(16:51):
acquainted with war, who's been to war. It's horrible, It's horrendous,
or I cannot accurately describe. Although God has blessed me
with the gift of speaking in some countenance of speech,
(17:12):
I can't accurately describe what that's like. It is hellish.
It is just a level of atrocity, undescribable. But I
know this as bad as that was, as bad as
actual warfare is. The toughest battles I've ever had to
(17:36):
fight in this life were in my own mind. The
battle is in your mind. That's that's a dangerous battlefield.
That second Corinthians. For though we live in the world,
we do not wage war as the world does. The
weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
(17:58):
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
We demolish arguments in every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every
thought to make it obedient to Christ or some translations
to the obedience of Christ. The battle in your mind
(18:25):
can often be the war to end all wars. Look
at how many veterans made it through the war, made
it through service horrible, horrible times physically, and then are
deceived by Satan into taking their own life later the
(18:48):
battle in your mind. You listen to the bio if
you didn't skip through it or you've heard it before.
I've been blessed by God to be a professional gunfighter.
Most of the adult life Marine Corps also served in
the army. It's also a private contractor soldier of fortune.
(19:09):
However you want to put that, I'm a man acquainted
with violence, and I'm telling you the battle in your
mind can be far harder to win. And when I
tell you new creation, that gets thrown around a lot.
And if you hithertofore have not actually given your life
(19:32):
to Christ, I mean a new creation. I mean when
I look back at the man that I was before,
then it's a different person. I don't even want to
associate with the person that that was. I don't take
joy from the same things that that person took joy from.
I don't struggle with the same things. I have never
again wrestled with suicide after that day, Not once have
(19:55):
I wrestled with it. And again it's not because I
was special. God didn't save me because I was good.
He saved me because He is good. That's good news.
It's not about me, it's not about you, It's about God.
No matter what you've done, no matter who you are.
(20:17):
If you can hear this, you can repent. And repent
simply means to turn to God, turn away from whatever
is not of God, and turn to God. Don't need
a master's degree in theology. I don't have one. You
don't need to earn a certain amount of money, you
(20:38):
don't need a certain amount of physical strength, because it's
not about you, it's about him. It's about God. And
nothing is impossible with God. To think that your sins
and whatever you've done and whatever you're struggling with is
too hard for God to take care of is a
lie from the devil, from the evil one. He is
(20:59):
the deceis and the father of lies. Do you believe
that nothing is impossible to God? If you believe that,
it must include everything that you're dealing with, or have
dealt with, or are going through or struggling with, and
your sins. God is not shocked by your sins. You're
not hiding anything from God by running away from God.
He knows everything your innermost thoughts and intense of the heart,
(21:23):
You're not keeping it from him by running away. It's
just foolish. Nothing is impossible to God. Whatever it is,
God can handle it from somebody who's seen some horrible,
horrible things and death and misery on a grand scale.
Because that was the only thing grand about that war,
(21:45):
was the amount of death and destruction and misery that
I really saw. From somebody who's seen that, who's seen
that much misery and sorrow on earth, we believe that
hell is a real place. We can't even begin to
fathom the disparity and misery and hopelessness in hell. And
(22:13):
although the days in war are long and bleed together,
day after day after day of just trying to get
through and survive, what is that compared to an eternity
in hell? Think about that? What sense does it make
to get through this life to go to that? If
you think this life can be miserable, think about that.
(22:36):
And you don't have to wait for heaven to be happy.
You can be happy now? Why why wait? It is
written He came that we may have life and have
it more abundant. It gave my life to God. I
quit my job as a law enforcement officer very shortly
after that, didn't plan to pack up whatever I had
(22:57):
in a vehicle. I was in California law enforcement off
Sir drove to Idaho. I'd been there once. I liked it.
God gave me a new life and a far happier man.
Even at times I was living out of my car
because I didn't really have a plan. I was happier
there with God sleeping in my car than I ever
was with all the superfluous stuff in life without him.
(23:21):
Because no matter what you have or don't have in
this life, if you don't have God, you're failing and
you can't fill that hole with anything, no matter how
much stuff or pleasure you try to fill it with.
Only one thing will fulfill you in life. God. And
if you have God, you have all that you need.
(23:45):
By trying to keep this simple from a simple man,
a Marine Corps infantryman, grunt with a high school education
in a Bible, God chose to have mercy on It's
not because I am anything special. That door is open.
If you're listening to this, you likewise turn to God.
(24:09):
You can give him your life, whatever it is, whatever
you've made of it, but expect a new one. Expect
to be literally born again, a new creation. The me
I am today is is different from that person in
mind and spirit and soul, as a literal different human being,
a far far better one. If that calls to you,
(24:34):
if that tugs at you, then call out to God.
He's there, he's listening. I don't know you. I don't
know what you're struggling with or wrestling with or not.
Maybe it was like me were on the surface, that
seemed like I had everything going and inside was empty.
Whatever you're wrestling with, whatever you're struggling with, Jesus says,
(24:57):
come to me, all you who labor and are heavy,
lad and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you and learn from me, for I am meek
and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden
is light. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever it is,
it's always the right answer to turn to God. Accept Him,
(25:20):
give your life to him. He'll give you a far
more abundant one. In return. Accept God, accept Jesus Christ
as your Lord and savior. That's good news. With that,
thanks for listening, and have a blessed day.
Twenty years? Is it a long time? It's been twenty
years since the invasion of Iraq, and the anniversary went
by without a lot of pomp and circumstance. Perhaps it's
a thing that a lot of Americans would like to forget,
(00:24):
But for a lot of us who were there, it's
something will likely never forget. The invasion of Iraq. Less
about what it did to change a nation, more about
what it did to change a man. A young Marine.
(00:47):
Welcome to Alpha Male Podcast, the podcast where we talk
about what it means to be a man the right
way with God at the center. After all, we men
are made in the image of God. With that, I'm
going to plug in the bio and then we'll get
into the main topic. So who am I? Who is
(01:09):
this person talking to you from across the internet? Why
should you listen? First and foremost, I am a Christian,
a servant of God and a follower of Jesus Christ.
God has blessed me to do many things in my life,
for I could do nothing apart from Him. US Marine
Corps combat veteran did a couple of tours in Iraq
(01:33):
as an assaultman. After my combat tours, I was an
urban warfare instructor for the Marine Corps under Mahave Viper
also served in the US Army both full time and
part time. National Guard also did several years in law
enforcement LAPD. I worked regular assignments and more specialized assignments.
Been a private contractor for a three letter government agency.
(01:54):
That's all I'll say about that. Been blessed to be
a state rifle and pistol champion and West Coast Regional
Rifle Champion. One more shooting competitions with the talent that
God's given me that I can actually remember. Was blessed
to be the commander of a tactical team in a
large metropolitan area. Our primary job, the reason we primarily existed,
(02:17):
was to stop active shooters. I got the opportunity to
head up and be the commander of that team. I
grew up around guns hunting and shooting and competing at
a very early age. Been blessed to hunt all over
this beautiful country, from white Tail on the East coast
to Mulder on the West coast, and bear and elk
and all manner of things. I've even been a professional
(02:38):
big game hunter and guide. But again, most importantly, I'm
a Christian and I am your host, Michael Muldo. Welcome
to the podcast. Twenty years since the Invasion of Iraq.
(02:59):
Joined the Marine Corps. I signed up in two thousand
and one pre nine to eleven. Nine to eleven happened,
and it seemed pretty clear shortly after that that we
would be going to war. As a young man naive
a small town, I thought this might be quite exciting,
(03:23):
maybe even glorious. Well fast forward a little bit. There.
It is March of two thousand and three, twenty years ago.
We were staged in Kuwait waiting for orders to be
(03:43):
given to invade Iraq. Well, one night in late March,
the whistle proverbial whistle was blown and we crossed that
border into the nation of Iraq. I should say as
a simple marine grunt infantry assaultment. My view of the
(04:08):
war was pretty narrow and spent largely just trying to
make it through. A few days into that invasion was
my birthday. It would have been my nineteenth birthday. On
the twenty fifth of March two thousand and three, there
(04:31):
was a massive sandstorm. You can go look that up
if you like. But when I say sandstorm, I don't
mean like a little bit of dust blowing. If you've
never experienced a Middle Eastern sandstorm, it almost seems like
you're on another planet on Mars. Everything is red and
(04:52):
you can barely see, and there's dust and dirt everywhere.
It kind of made us stuf. And maybe that's why
I remember it so well, not because it was my birthday,
but because it gave a chance to breathe for a
short period of time on our way to take Baghdad.
(05:15):
And it was so miserable the sandstorm, yes, but the
war as a whole. And I guess when you're just
trying to survive it and get through it, you don't
really process it because I guess that's a normal survival thing.
You just get through it. That gave a little bit
of chance to take a breath because a lot of
(05:37):
stuff was halted, convoys, different operations. It was a massive storm,
and again it gave me time to reflect and think
before we pushed again. Now, if you think this is
going to be a lot of war stories about glorious
battles and gunfights, you know that's just that's not me.
(06:01):
And do a whole other podcast, Gunfighter Life, where I
talk about guns and different aspects of that, and I've
been professional gunfighter most of my adult life and God's
gotten me through a lot. But I'm not going to
sit here and tell you stories of glory, and I
certainly don't want to glorify things that are not glorious.
(06:22):
You can extrapolate from that experience and all that was
going on. You can look up all manner of history
and stuff can probably get a clearer picture of everything
that was going on than I have. Because I said,
my view is pretty narrow. I know what I did
and what I saw, and what I saw was horrific.
Two things in my life really changed me, really changed me,
(06:47):
and one was this war. A naive, small town boy
young man that went to Iraq and those desert sands
in that moondust and saw so much misery on both
sides and death, and a nation and a capital city
(07:13):
descending from a pretty normal culture and lifestyle into death
and destruction and chaos. I remember one time, just looking
out at a field of death. I remember seeing somebody
(07:34):
lying there. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna cut that off.
I'm not gonna get too graphic on the show. I
know kids listen and don't want to turn this into
into a war story, into that kind of episode. But
the point of that is, I don't know how you
(07:56):
could as a man see those kinds of things and
go through those kind of times and not be changed.
How could you see such suffering and misery and atrocity
and death and not be changed. I don't know. It
(08:21):
certainly changed me, and I imagine it changed us all again.
This is less a story about how we toppled the
nation or how it changed our nation. I'm speaking from
my perspective that God has allowed me to live through.
It certainly changed me as a man, as a person.
(08:46):
The person that went to war was not the one
who came back. That that person never got out of Iraq,
although I live, that person who went there never came back. Now,
(09:09):
I grew up a heathen meaning like I grew up
the bastard son of a single teenage mother who was
into all kinds of Eastern religion. And I started searching
for kind of meaning, I guess in my high school days.
And I did start, you know, going to church and
doing things like that after looking at a bunch of
(09:31):
other stuff religions, and went to Bible studies. And if
you had asked me, I would have said, yeah, I'm
a Christian. And in Kuwait, while we were waiting for
the invasion, I got baptized because I thought, hey, it's
a good chance I might die. Probably should get baptized.
I'd like to tell you it was some life changing
(09:52):
vision on the Damascus road. Really, that's probably all it was, was, Hey,
I might die, I probably should get baptized. I baptized
in a literal hole, dug in the ground, filled with water,
somewhere in Kuwait. And I'd like to say that after
(10:14):
after this invasion, I really turned to the straight and
narrow path and went the right way. This was the
first time I went to war. It wouldn't be the last.
I'd like to tell you that it scared me straight,
that it changed me for the better. It certainly changed me,
(10:38):
but I can't say that in good conscience. I honestly
kind of turned my back on God. And I think
it started here. You would think, after seeing something so hillatious,
so miserable, and so much wrong in the world and
(10:58):
so much death. If earth could be that bad, how
bad must hell be. I'd like to say it scared
me straight, but it didn't, And in fact, it did
the opposite. I strayed from God. And if you had
asked me, I would have said, yeah, I'm a Christian,
but I meant that more in word than an actual deed,
(11:20):
and I kind of turned my back. And I made
it through. I made it through that invasion, made it
through the taking of Baghdad, the capital city, and many
many long days in war, both that deployment and after that.
(11:44):
And God got me through that alive, not because I
was better than any of the men that died over there,
that didn't make it back, not because of that, simply
because he chose to have mercy on me, not because
I deserved it, because I certainly didn't, especially when He
was giving me breath every day, keeping me alive every day,
and I turned my back on him over and over again.
(12:07):
And fast forward. I get out of the Marine Corps
and I go to work for LAPD for a poor
boy from the South. This was kind of what I
thought I had been looking for. Started me on a
path where I mean, I wasn't a millionaire, but I
was making really good money. Ended up with a couple
of cars and a house up in the hills and
(12:29):
a prestigious job and a couple of girls I'm a
shamed to say, a fiance and a girlfriend on the side,
and just the things that culture and society say are
going to make you happy, drinking, going out parties, the
things that culture says is going to make you happy.
(12:51):
I had all that, and here's the scary part. I
was miserable. I was this miserable and term only as
I was in those sands in Iraq, maybe more so
because at the time I probably could rationalize that this
is really really bad, but it'll get better. Things will
get better. Although externally they got better, I was still
(13:16):
empty inside all those things that I tried to have,
a fulfilled life, money and women, and a prestigious job
with power, a decent house, a nice car. God allowed
me to have all those things, and I realized there
was nothing in them. And late one night, searching, I
(13:39):
had gone back to reading my Bible again. If you
had asked me, how have said I was a Christian?
But I meant it more in word than indeed. And
one night I thought about ending it all. I was done.
I had all this stuff that was supposed to make
me happy in life, and I was miserable, truly depressed,
and I thought I can just end it, drove my
(14:01):
Crown Victoria old police cruiser behind a church and I
literally contemplated ending everything in my life. And this, this
is the second time that I really changed as a man,
and this time for the better, much more than the first,
(14:22):
and not because I'm good, but because God chose to
have mercy on me. Instead of ending it all, I
got down on my knees in the rain in the
middle of the night because I worked grave shift and
gave my life to God. And unlike when I got
baptized in Kuwait, like when I went to church in
(14:43):
high school, I actually meant it because I had tried
living this life without God and there was nothing in it.
No matter how much I got, there was nothing in it.
It was a dead, empty life. And instead of ending it,
I gave my life to God because I had certainly
made a mess of it, especially internally. And even more
(15:03):
than that young naive person disappeared in the sands of Iraq,
I was changed. I was a new creation, and I'm
gonna be honest, that's quite a bit more than I
like sharing in a public form on a podcast. But
I meant it when I said I gave my life
(15:24):
to God. All that I have belongs to God, and
that includes my life, whatever it is. And if this
testimony can help someone out there, maybe you're a veteran
who's struggling. Maybe you're only going to listen to somebody
(15:45):
who's been there, and although my experience is unique and
everybody's just different, even if we were in the same unit,
I have a little bit of a taste of what
it's like. Or perhaps perhaps you know a veteran and
as Jesus says, no prophet has honor in his own country,
(16:07):
maybe you're not going to listen to you because you're
not a veteran and you don't understand what they went through.
Maybe you want to share this and feel free to
It's free. You can share it again. It's not mine
on the podcast platform. It asks for what I do.
All the info, it says owner of podcast, I put
(16:29):
God because everything I am, all that I have, is God's.
And you can share this and help somebody a veteran
that needs help, or maybe not a veteran, maybe he's
just somebody that's struggling with childhood trauma or just life.
Because let me tell you this, as a man who's
(16:51):
acquainted with war, who's been to war. It's horrible, It's horrendous,
or I cannot accurately describe. Although God has blessed me
with the gift of speaking in some countenance of speech,
(17:12):
I can't accurately describe what that's like. It is hellish.
It is just a level of atrocity, undescribable. But I
know this as bad as that was, as bad as
actual warfare is. The toughest battles I've ever had to
(17:36):
fight in this life were in my own mind. The
battle is in your mind. That's that's a dangerous battlefield.
That second Corinthians. For though we live in the world,
we do not wage war as the world does. The
weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
(17:58):
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
We demolish arguments in every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every
thought to make it obedient to Christ or some translations
to the obedience of Christ. The battle in your mind
(18:25):
can often be the war to end all wars. Look
at how many veterans made it through the war, made
it through service horrible, horrible times physically, and then are
deceived by Satan into taking their own life later the
(18:48):
battle in your mind. You listen to the bio if
you didn't skip through it or you've heard it before.
I've been blessed by God to be a professional gunfighter.
Most of the adult life Marine Corps also served in
the army. It's also a private contractor soldier of fortune.
(19:09):
However you want to put that, I'm a man acquainted
with violence, and I'm telling you the battle in your
mind can be far harder to win. And when I
tell you new creation, that gets thrown around a lot.
And if you hithertofore have not actually given your life
(19:32):
to Christ, I mean a new creation. I mean when
I look back at the man that I was before,
then it's a different person. I don't even want to
associate with the person that that was. I don't take
joy from the same things that that person took joy from.
I don't struggle with the same things. I have never
again wrestled with suicide after that day, Not once have
(19:55):
I wrestled with it. And again it's not because I
was special. God didn't save me because I was good.
He saved me because He is good. That's good news.
It's not about me, it's not about you, It's about God.
No matter what you've done, no matter who you are.
(20:17):
If you can hear this, you can repent. And repent
simply means to turn to God, turn away from whatever
is not of God, and turn to God. Don't need
a master's degree in theology. I don't have one. You
don't need to earn a certain amount of money, you
(20:38):
don't need a certain amount of physical strength, because it's
not about you, it's about him. It's about God. And
nothing is impossible with God. To think that your sins
and whatever you've done and whatever you're struggling with is
too hard for God to take care of is a
lie from the devil, from the evil one. He is
(20:59):
the deceis and the father of lies. Do you believe
that nothing is impossible to God? If you believe that,
it must include everything that you're dealing with, or have
dealt with, or are going through or struggling with, and
your sins. God is not shocked by your sins. You're
not hiding anything from God by running away from God.
He knows everything your innermost thoughts and intense of the heart,
(21:23):
You're not keeping it from him by running away. It's
just foolish. Nothing is impossible to God. Whatever it is,
God can handle it from somebody who's seen some horrible,
horrible things and death and misery on a grand scale.
Because that was the only thing grand about that war,
(21:45):
was the amount of death and destruction and misery that
I really saw. From somebody who's seen that, who's seen
that much misery and sorrow on earth, we believe that
hell is a real place. We can't even begin to
fathom the disparity and misery and hopelessness in hell. And
(22:13):
although the days in war are long and bleed together,
day after day after day of just trying to get
through and survive, what is that compared to an eternity
in hell? Think about that? What sense does it make
to get through this life to go to that? If
you think this life can be miserable, think about that.
(22:36):
And you don't have to wait for heaven to be happy.
You can be happy now? Why why wait? It is
written He came that we may have life and have
it more abundant. It gave my life to God. I
quit my job as a law enforcement officer very shortly
after that, didn't plan to pack up whatever I had
(22:57):
in a vehicle. I was in California law enforcement off
Sir drove to Idaho. I'd been there once. I liked it.
God gave me a new life and a far happier man.
Even at times I was living out of my car
because I didn't really have a plan. I was happier
there with God sleeping in my car than I ever
was with all the superfluous stuff in life without him.
(23:21):
Because no matter what you have or don't have in
this life, if you don't have God, you're failing and
you can't fill that hole with anything, no matter how
much stuff or pleasure you try to fill it with.
Only one thing will fulfill you in life. God. And
if you have God, you have all that you need.
(23:45):
By trying to keep this simple from a simple man,
a Marine Corps infantryman, grunt with a high school education
in a Bible, God chose to have mercy on It's
not because I am anything special. That door is open.
If you're listening to this, you likewise turn to God.
(24:09):
You can give him your life, whatever it is, whatever
you've made of it, but expect a new one. Expect
to be literally born again, a new creation. The me
I am today is is different from that person in
mind and spirit and soul, as a literal different human being,
a far far better one. If that calls to you,
(24:34):
if that tugs at you, then call out to God.
He's there, he's listening. I don't know you. I don't
know what you're struggling with or wrestling with or not.
Maybe it was like me were on the surface, that
seemed like I had everything going and inside was empty.
Whatever you're wrestling with, whatever you're struggling with, Jesus says,
(24:57):
come to me, all you who labor and are heavy,
lad and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you and learn from me, for I am meek
and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden
is light. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever it is,
it's always the right answer to turn to God. Accept Him,
(25:20):
give your life to him. He'll give you a far
more abundant one. In return. Accept God, accept Jesus Christ
as your Lord and savior. That's good news. With that,
thanks for listening, and have a blessed day.
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