Vocal De Frag Episode One Hundred 163 Just Listen

We're constantly in need of wanting to talk with family and friends but are we truly listening to what's being shared? What if we just listened?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Taro, And this is vocal D frag. Vocal D
fragging is asking yourself the questions and questioning the answers.
I do it in two places in a journal, which
I've been doing since November of twenty seventeen. And I
also do a vocal D frag so I can preserve
the pitch, the volume and the tone. I do my
vocal D frags while taking this walk through a beautiful
force in South Charlotte, North Carolina. It's on these walks

(00:22):
that I'm able to feel nature around me, to listen
to the music of the birds, to see the deer,
just to feel everything, including the sights of a tree,
going over there, to touch a tree, to become a
part of And then you talk about it. You ask
the questions, you question the answers. This is vocal D
freg I think this time around what I want to

(00:42):
put focus on two words. Just listen. That's it. Just listen.
If you get into any conversation at your place, a business,
in your family, around the neighborhood, it just feels like
and it sounds like everybody has a complaint. They're complaining
about their jobs, they're complaining about how their body hurts.
They're complaining about the high taxes, or they're complaining about politics.

(01:07):
But are we listening. We know they're complaining because we
do a really good job at tuning them out, shaking
our head up and down to the left, to the right.
We're there, But are we listening? Are we participating with
the angst and or the lowness that whatever this world

(01:27):
is brought to them is taking them down and out?
What if we became better listeners and not always tried
to one up them. Oh you know I did that too,
Oh when I was thirty five. This is what I did. Really,
that's what you're getting out of this conversation is a
pissing match. There's no reason for that. All I'm asking

(01:48):
is just listen. Listen to what they're saying, Listen to
how you probably already went through it. But it doesn't
mean that you have to bring your notebook with you
and start comparing, you know, the different experiences. Maybe in
their experience, they're learning something new that you could learn

(02:09):
the next time that you fall into this pit or
go into this rabbit hole. When I say defragging, I'm
not saying to put yourself in a place of disappointment
or to identify the beasts that are growing inside of you.
What I'm saying is that ask yourself the questions, the
simple questions. Just listen to the answers. Just listen, because

(02:32):
the inner core of your mind, body, and soul, it's
always going to have something to say. And it could
be based on an opinion, it could be based on disappointment.
But if you just listen, it leads you to the
next question. Then you start digging a little bit deeper
and you don't have to do a deep dive. Save
that for later on. Because if you ask the right

(02:55):
questions and deliver answers and then you come back with
another question, oh, you're opening up a brand new door
just by listening. If you notice I've said nothing about reacting,
just listen. Take it in. It's there to be had,
it's there to be experienced. I know it sounds like

(03:17):
people bitching mown way too often because it is the
ultimate escape for some people. They feel like if they
can get it off their chest, it leaves open enough
room for them to do it again and again and again.
My sister in law is no different. I always feel
sorry for my wife when she has to have that conversation,
the same one over and over again. But what my

(03:39):
wife does, she just listens. She doesn't have to offer
any advice. She just gives her sister an opportunity to
get it off her chest. And I think this is
my biggest mistake in life, or at least one of them,
because I've made a lot. When my sister was in
her transition, all she spoke about was I want to die.

(04:02):
I want to die, I want to die. And I
thought I was listening, but know what I was doing.
I was reacting. I was trying to get her mental
and physical support. I was trying to put her in
the right frame of mind so that she could help
heal herself because the positive thinking, you know, that's what happens.
But I wasn't listening. My wife listens to her sister.

(04:26):
I chose to try to bring action and reaction to
how my sister was experiencing life. And I do believe
I was wrong. I believe that the steps that I
took were in the wrong direction. So that's what I'm
trying to share here today, is that maybe you're weighed
down by other people's problems, situations, your own, your own body,

(04:49):
that innercore of your system, saying but why, but why,
but why but why? And it's taking you down, but
you're not out. That's why you defrak. Just listen. I'm
Maril and I spoke of defreg