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July 30, 2025 9 mins
HELL IF WE DON’T CHANGE OUR WAYS tells the story of a young girl reconciling a mother who’s been devastated by her parents, by her upbringing in a Pentecostal church, by brutality and abusive men and addiction.  When Brittany’s mother abruptly leaves her with her grandparents, Brittany must orient herself to life off the road.Brittany moves into The Barn, her grandparents’ cluttered mansion, and is passed between caring relatives:  her Aunt Debbie, Aunt Ginger, Uncle Thomas, or her favorite, Uncle Jon. After her younger brother, Ben, whom she alternately adores and resents, is abducted (and found), they return to live with her mom and another boyfriend, a biker who protects them until the bottom falls out, as it always does. Brittany lies to truant officers and social workers through her teenage years when her mom leaves her alone in a small, dingy house for days and then weeks, until Brittany finally realizes she is out of options and must find a new place to call home.Intimate and potent, HELL IF WE DON’T CHANGE OUR WAYS is the inspiring story of a young woman who survived a difficult childhood with the help of a community who gave her a home; teachers who encouraged her to apply for college; therapy; her brother (who became a therapist); and a partner who empowered her to face her past. Through the process of becoming her own person and writing her story, Brittany Means comes to not only understand her mom but also appreciate her—for giving her life, always loving her, and for doing the best she could, even when she got it wrong.


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