September 15, 2025 • 19 mins
Welcome back to the studio. This is My Day of Play, where you’re taken into the real events and actions of how it happens long before the process of editing or cleaning up. The original purpose of these episodes was to give my broadcasting students something to edit, to practice with and to call their own. Then I realized that you are just as important. Share the reality of how it really went. We begin things with author actress and director Lucy Lawless star of Xena Warrior Princess. In November of 2024 she had a new directing project a documentary titled Never Look Away. And we’ll wrap things up with Nikki Watson! A hardcore podcaster who has set her words free in a new book titled Wake UP To Love. This is My Day of Play. Completely unedited in the way of meeting the wizard behind the curtain.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back to the studio. This is my day
(00:02):
of play, where you're taking into the real events and
actions of how it really goes down before the process
of editing and or cleaning up. The original purpose of
these episodes was to give by broadcasting students something to edit,
to practice with, and to call their own. And then
I realized that you're just as important as they are
share the reality of what it's really like. We begin
things with author actress director Lucy lawalas star of zena
(00:24):
Warrior Princess. In November twenty twenty four, she had a
new directing project, a documentary titled Never Look Away. And
then we're going to wrap things up with Nicki Watson,
a hardcore podcaster who has set free her words in
a book titled Wake Up to Love. These recordings were
done so at a movie premiere at about nine o'clock
(00:45):
in the morning. No matter what, the show must go on.
The editing is what cleans it up and makes it
sound a little bit better. But you're getting the raw version.
This is my day of play, completely unedited, in the
way of meeting the wizard behind the curve.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Recording in progress. Hell on, good morning, everybody all right, Ari,
you'll have Jill the bottom of the hour. Excellent, Good morning, Lucy.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
No, I'm great, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Oh my god, what you have done with this project?
I mean, have you always wanted to be a journalist,
to be able to dig in and to bring forward
a documentary such as this.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
No, I never wanted to be a journalist. I, however,
am very interested in illuminating the human condition, you know,
just just excavating a highly unusual life on somebody who
faced death many times to tell a truth, which is
kind of in short supply these days, right, we struggle
to believe in somebody. These people you can believe.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
One of the interesting things about this is that there
are so many people behind the scenes that we don't
get to know, such as Margaret. And because of you,
you're stepping forward saying, you know what, before that story
could happen, somebody was there.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
That's absolutely right, and they're and they're out facing incalculable
dangers right as you and I speak, you know, trying
to bring the images of what's happening to the non combatants,
the innocent victims of war.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
What did you learn from this in the way of
having the guts and the courage and the confidence to
be able to step into the fire where the rest
of us probably would run away from the fire.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, I don't know. She You know, she lived for
pleasure and for adrenaline and sex and drugs and punk
music up into the time that she went to war
as a camera person, and then all of that sort
of dropped away in importance because this was kind of.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
The new drug.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And then she goes to Sarao and she gets a
bloody face blown off by a sniper. Right, so what's
she gonna do? Now, She's going to into her life. No,
she goes through twenty five operations and goes back to war.
But now she's living for something greater than herself. She's
living for the story she and anyway, she goes on
(02:56):
and shoots war for another sixteen years with no teeth
and no tongue. What remains a sexy, amazing Norman.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Now though you talk about that addiction, Now, does that also?
I mean, because I've always believed that creativity is the addiction.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Do you think that's what it is?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I think for her history was the addiction. But she
finally It is a tale of transformation and redemption and
away from being a total pleasure seeker to living for
to tell the story of people at war. Something greater
than yourself came through this catastrophic injury. So it just
shows you that bad girls can alsoy. You don't have
(03:39):
to be perfect to walk on the side of the angels.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, you know, now I'm having visions of people like
Dan Rather and other people that went to you know,
went into those you know, he went to Vietnam, but
but he got the attention.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
She's now just getting the attention.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, And one of the odds of that, and I
must tell you there are others. She was one of
five female camera people at CNN Hi because twenty four
to seven News was brand new in nineteen eighty, right,
that was Ted Turner, so massive expansion and if women
were qualified and willing to go, he did take him.
He needed the man woman power, and it opened up
(04:15):
a lot of jobs for women. So those women are
only just now starting to retire, but they're super gifted.
And Margaret didn't think she was better than any of them,
nor any male.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
She thought she was as good as see a.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Lot of people don't understand what goes on behind the
scenes or behind that camera.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because one of the things that you know, I had.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
To do was I had to learn how to trust
my photo journalist and because whatever his eye was that
I had to make sure that I was there for him.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Because we had to work as a team.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Margaret worked the same way, didn't she.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
She did, though, would often go off as a loan operator.
You know, if she was alone and there was an
incident in Lebanon, for example, she would take her camera
and go. So there wasn't you know, there's nobody telling,
nobody's directing emotion of people in Sarajeva. On those days,
you're a little team and you are alone. There's no
(05:06):
connection to central, you know, central casting back in Atlanta.
You're a figure following the story as it's happening and
hopefully you don't get shot.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Which she did. George Duran has played a major part
in this.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yeah, this kicked it off.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I was gonna see this. This is a this is
an open door here for this this guy. I mean,
it's just amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah. Joe Durand was cameraman. He actually gave up his
job and the money of being cameraman to be Margaret's
sound guide to help her get back to work. So
he gave up a lot because he loved her, and
he was the gave us access to Christiana i'mpoor, and
and all those wonderful journalists who came on board, mostly
because they understood I wasn't making a hagiography and I
(05:53):
wasn't trying to sanctify this woman because she wasn't always agreeable.
You know, she could be a done right bitch, and
they didn't want me to to spruce her up. So
and that doesn't interest me. I want the true human perspective,
because our flaws or bind us to get you know,
not our sanctity.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
How does that change you? Now?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
All I want to do is direct me. I want
to take all the things that I learned from this story.
No documentary is much harder than scripted because there is
no script. You don't know where the story is. You
gather all the interviews, and then you have to figure
out where's the punchiest place to start, which in our
case was amnesiac shows up in Texas and it can
remember nothing about her past. Well that's kind of interesting,
(06:37):
and then you learn was she into sex and drugs?
And punk music and way too young men, Holy Cow,
and then boom you're into the war and anyway you're
on a roller coaster. There's Barracuda playing, there's you know,
it's a rock and roll roller coaster. Her life.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
How did this lay out come into play?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Because I mean, did you build it as you were
uncovering you know that the research that you were doing,
or was it already built and you stepped in?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
No, I knew where I wanted to end at this
conflict in Lebanon where she was alone and she went.
She was first on the site with a professional camera
for an absolutely appalling incident, and so I knew where
I want to end it, and that's rare. You know,
you got to know your ending when you make any
kind of a project. You can't hope to find it later.
(07:26):
So I knew that was a strong place, and she
had a really interesting young adulthood in New Zealand. But
we eventually decided that didn't serve some and also I
couldn't corroborate a lot of the stuff, which would have
implicated a lot of high level people in my country
on charges that I couldn't corroborate.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So now where do you grow from here? Do you
have another project already in hand?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah? I want to take everything I've learned, the sound design,
the editing, the music, all that stuff of the set
design and apply it to what I know best, which
is drama working with actors.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
See that this is like the first step of your
brand new beginning. And this is so exciting to read
about it and to see it. But you see it
on TV and everything.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I can't tell you. I didn't see this coming in
my life. It's such a complete one eighty and what
a thrill.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
You think you're stuck on a track from you know, university,
your college tells you you know where you're going to
go in life, but it's not true. You can change
your mind things, can you know? There's new episodes unfolding
if if you're brave, I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
You got to come back to this show anytime in
the future. The door is always going to be open
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Thank you so much, Thank you for your time, and
thank you for watching it.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Well, absolutely, and thank you for sharing this with us
because as journalists and as broadcasters, this right here is
this feeds our inspiration.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, and it's designed to bring respect to the profession
because those people, as you and I sit here, are
out there face and death to bring us the truth.
And truth still matters, so true.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Will you be brilliant today? Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Thanks mine, Yeah, Geers, please do not move. Coming up next,
Nicki Walton, the author of Wake Up to Love. Hey,
thanks for coming back to my day of play. This
is the way it really went down before it went
into the editing room. We're talking with Nicki Walton, the
author of Wake Up to Love. Hello and good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
O My Hi Errow.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
It's Jeff Terry and I am calling to connect you
to Nicki.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Waltoner excellent, looking forward to this.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Okay, stand by please, Hey Nikki, please say hello to Arrow.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Hello, Arrow, Hello Nikki. How are you doing today?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
I'm wonderful. How are you?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I'm so proud of you for releasing this book at
the time that it is coming out. And the reason
why is because I think we are in a of chaotic,
you know, just out of control, and it's one of
those things where, yeah, and a book like this really
does open the door for people to have a better
understanding of what meditation is.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Absolutely you got it. Thank you for seeing that.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
One of the things that really caught my eye right
off the bat was I love this when you say
that when you stay aware of God's presence. I mean
it's like we're always saying something to God. It's like, oh,
we need you, we need you, we need you. The
thing is is that you kind of remind us that
He's always there, and you telling yourself that He's always there.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I love that statement.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Yes, exactly, and you're feeling God. It's not a blind faith.
This is a felt faith. And so as soon as
you feel God, you know he heard you. He knew
before you could even put it into words. You know,
God lives in your heart. Everywhere you go, he is,
He's already there when you get there.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well, it reminded me of back in the lockdown days
in twenty twenty when I kept writing in my daily journal, God,
where are you?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Where are you?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And finally the words came out from on that page.
It's said, I'm here, Where are you?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Dude? And it's like it's like, oh man, I never
even thought about that.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Yeah, it's like where's your attention? Right? God is always here,
but where is your attention, and our attention is usually
in the future, in the past, or we bring it
fright here, right now, to the silence, to the stillness.
Here he is as the I am.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You just said my two favorite words, I am. Oh
my god. Yes, you just suck the air right out
of my lungs. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So now to be able to write a book and
to host the podcast exposing or just sharing the way
that you are, that takes confidence, courage, hope, faith, determination,
and loyalty.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
What is it that you saw in yourself? You said,
I got to do it, no matter what, I got
to do it.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
You know, I didn't have a choice. It felt like
I had always been a person that needed to be obscurvans,
Like I came to this world wanting to make people small,
to make them happy, because I know how it feels
to not smile, to not feel happy, to not so
excited about the day, and so whatever form that took.
For a time, it was meeting a license psychotherapist and
(12:11):
working one on one with people, and then that shifted
to me sharing about hair and beauty, helping people love
themselves from me inside out, and then that current to
helping people feel their soul, how God feels in their body,
and I needed to share like you during COVID it
really started in a more authentic way. I stopped with
the filters. I started waking up at five am, just
(12:33):
so that I didn't have to be anything for anybody,
because at that hour people in my house are still
sleep and I would meditate, I chant, i'd do my practices,
i'd do my journaling, and that became the podcast. And
if you start sharing every day on the microphone, you
stop filter and the filters fall away, and you know,
it's like I never knew what would come. I just
knew I had to show up, and I'd show up
(12:54):
and I'd wait, and the silence would speak, the love
would speak, not just to the listener, but to the
other listener, like a listener first sitting you're at the microphone.
And then I knew, like, with fifteen hundred episodes in
the bank, somebody that's coming to my show on Apple,
that finds my show on Spotify might feel overwhelmed. And
so needing to put the best of the best, the
(13:16):
clearest of the clearest, in a book form so that
you can carry the words with you. And it's not
even really the words that are important. It's the space,
the silence and sillness, that blank space between letters that
the words are pointing you to, because in that space
you find the piece, You find the love of God,
and then that love changes you. It works, It does
(13:37):
your work, and it works on you. It changes your heart.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Wow, I love where your heart is.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
One of the things that I do on my transition
walks is I do a vocal d frag And the
reason why I do that is because I believe that
we need to preserve our.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Pitch, volume and tone.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
We can go and read our words in a journal
and it's an interpretation, but when you hear that emotion
coming back at you, you learn from that.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Oh that's good, heymen, I can feel that that's so true.
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Here's a quote that's in your book. We pinch ourselves
to know that we're alive. Oh my god, that's like
me biting my lip. Of course, that's so true.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Yes, yes, yes, always always, you know. Right now I
want you listening at home to close your eyes and
bow your head, bringing your hands up into prayer mode,
like fold them in front of you, and just hear
beyond my voice here beyond your thoughts to the silence
(14:37):
that's there. And notice that when you're using your body
like an antenna, when you're using it like this, when
you're in this humble posture, you can't have negative thoughts.
When you're down here, you feel him. And when you
feel him now you start thinking like him. You get
the mind that was in Christ, that is Christ, and
then it informs the rest of your day. It informs
(14:58):
your purpose. And then you'll find that the notes that
are written in your journal are the ones that you
can powerfully speak back, that you can share with others.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Learning to silence those voices.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That's the one complaint that I get from so many
people when I say, have you meditated today? Oh man,
there's so many voices in my head. I'm sure you've
heard the same stories a million times.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Yeah, yeah, And it's not about silencing. It's not about
silencing that well, you don't have to struggle or wrestle
with the thoughts. It's like one of my favorite teacher's Muji.
The first time I heard this from him, I fell
in love with it because it makes so much sense.
You don't have to silence the thoughts. It's just like
listening for the strings in a classical piece, you can
(15:46):
still hear all the other sections, all the other sounds.
But if you're listening for the strings, you can do
that and you'll hear them. You can hear my voice
and your thoughts and maybe the ambient sounds in your environment.
But you can listen for the silence. And that's not
something that you've ever done before. Right now, your mind
might be trying to figure out what it is I'm saying,
go bypass the mind and hear the silence that you
(16:08):
can hear at the same time as you're hearing the
sound of my voice. And once you train yourself, when
you train that muscle, you'll be able to hear the silence,
even at a rock concert, even at the airport, on
an airplane. You don't even need your headphones anymore. The silence,
the sounds around you, you can listen for the silence
they're coming from, the silence we came from, that we
exist in, and that silence is what makes that subtle
(16:32):
shift for you from chaos to peace, and not just spiritually,
but in your material world too.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Love plus consistency equals miracles. That's a pretty powerful statement.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yes, this felt love, feeling love consistently turning to it
as often as you can remember, which for me, it
looks like I stop in whatever moment I'm in and
I listen for the silence and that turning that moment.
It's like it's a split second. It's not even a second.
(17:06):
It's just it happens instantly. Something out here has changed,
has shifted, and you don't get to tell you what
it is. You don't get to say what it is.
But if you pay attention, you'll notice I've done that.
And when I've heard about a flight cancelation, when I've
gotten bad news about something something being delayed, if I
stop and I turn, oftentimes whatever that delay was there
(17:28):
isn't a delay anymore, or that flight gets read booked instantly,
or that news, even though it seemed bad, is actually good.
It's just a moment to moment shifting into seeing the
bigger picture, knowing that everything that's happening is actually for
your good. Everything that's happening is a miracle. If you
know how to look, that's it, and then you'll see, ah,
(17:49):
this is good, this is God, All of this is God.
I just forget that sometimes and when I forget I suffer.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Wow, ten minutes with you is not enough. But that's
the reason why you share the podcast. That's every bit
the reason why you now have a book in front
of us to where we can go in there and
read it. Because I mean, and in all honesty, I
think that this book is what you describe. It's an
easter egge. Now we have found it. Now let's enjoy
the benefits of what that easter egg is going to.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Share with us.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Absolutely, you got it.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
You got it.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
You're not hearing this by mistake. You haven't found me,
you know by chance. This is the turning point in
your life. This is where everything changes, Everything is wising,
including your consciousness. All you have to do is a
look up and back with within and it's fair.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
You got to come back to this show anytime in
the future, Nikki. The door is always going to be
open for you.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
Thank you so so much. Ero you are amazing. I
love your spirit. I can fill his light pouring through you.
Thank you for being that transparency for him.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Will you'd be brilliant? Okay?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
I will, thank you, Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hey, welcome back to the studio. This is my day
(00:02):
of play, where you're taking into the real events and
actions of how it really goes down before the process
of editing and or cleaning up. The original purpose of
these episodes was to give by broadcasting students something to edit,
to practice with, and to call their own. And then
I realized that you're just as important as they are
share the reality of what it's really like. We begin
things with author actress director Lucy lawalas star of zena
(00:24):
Warrior Princess. In November twenty twenty four, she had a
new directing project, a documentary titled Never Look Away. And
then we're going to wrap things up with Nicki Watson,
a hardcore podcaster who has set free her words in
a book titled Wake Up to Love. These recordings were
done so at a movie premiere at about nine o'clock
(00:45):
in the morning. No matter what, the show must go on.
The editing is what cleans it up and makes it
sound a little bit better. But you're getting the raw version.
This is my day of play, completely unedited, in the
way of meeting the wizard behind the curve.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Recording in progress. Hell on, good morning, everybody all right, Ari,
you'll have Jill the bottom of the hour. Excellent, Good morning, Lucy.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
No, I'm great, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Oh my god, what you have done with this project?
I mean, have you always wanted to be a journalist,
to be able to dig in and to bring forward
a documentary such as this.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
No, I never wanted to be a journalist. I, however,
am very interested in illuminating the human condition, you know,
just just excavating a highly unusual life on somebody who
faced death many times to tell a truth, which is
kind of in short supply these days, right, we struggle
to believe in somebody. These people you can believe.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
One of the interesting things about this is that there
are so many people behind the scenes that we don't
get to know, such as Margaret. And because of you,
you're stepping forward saying, you know what, before that story
could happen, somebody was there.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
That's absolutely right, and they're and they're out facing incalculable
dangers right as you and I speak, you know, trying
to bring the images of what's happening to the non combatants,
the innocent victims of war.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
What did you learn from this in the way of
having the guts and the courage and the confidence to
be able to step into the fire where the rest
of us probably would run away from the fire.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, I don't know. She You know, she lived for
pleasure and for adrenaline and sex and drugs and punk
music up into the time that she went to war
as a camera person, and then all of that sort
of dropped away in importance because this was kind of.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
The new drug.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And then she goes to Sarao and she gets a
bloody face blown off by a sniper. Right, so what's
she gonna do? Now, She's going to into her life. No,
she goes through twenty five operations and goes back to war.
But now she's living for something greater than herself. She's
living for the story she and anyway, she goes on
(02:56):
and shoots war for another sixteen years with no teeth
and no tongue. What remains a sexy, amazing Norman.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Now though you talk about that addiction, Now, does that also?
I mean, because I've always believed that creativity is the addiction.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Do you think that's what it is?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I think for her history was the addiction. But she
finally It is a tale of transformation and redemption and
away from being a total pleasure seeker to living for
to tell the story of people at war. Something greater
than yourself came through this catastrophic injury. So it just
shows you that bad girls can alsoy. You don't have
(03:39):
to be perfect to walk on the side of the angels.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, you know, now I'm having visions of people like
Dan Rather and other people that went to you know,
went into those you know, he went to Vietnam, but
but he got the attention.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
She's now just getting the attention.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, And one of the odds of that, and I
must tell you there are others. She was one of
five female camera people at CNN Hi because twenty four
to seven News was brand new in nineteen eighty, right,
that was Ted Turner, so massive expansion and if women
were qualified and willing to go, he did take him.
He needed the man woman power, and it opened up
(04:15):
a lot of jobs for women. So those women are
only just now starting to retire, but they're super gifted.
And Margaret didn't think she was better than any of them,
nor any male.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
She thought she was as good as see a.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Lot of people don't understand what goes on behind the
scenes or behind that camera.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because one of the things that you know, I had.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
To do was I had to learn how to trust
my photo journalist and because whatever his eye was that
I had to make sure that I was there for him.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Because we had to work as a team.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Margaret worked the same way, didn't she.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
She did, though, would often go off as a loan operator.
You know, if she was alone and there was an
incident in Lebanon, for example, she would take her camera
and go. So there wasn't you know, there's nobody telling,
nobody's directing emotion of people in Sarajeva. On those days,
you're a little team and you are alone. There's no
(05:06):
connection to central, you know, central casting back in Atlanta.
You're a figure following the story as it's happening and
hopefully you don't get shot.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Which she did. George Duran has played a major part
in this.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yeah, this kicked it off.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I was gonna see this. This is a this is
an open door here for this this guy. I mean,
it's just amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah. Joe Durand was cameraman. He actually gave up his
job and the money of being cameraman to be Margaret's
sound guide to help her get back to work. So
he gave up a lot because he loved her, and
he was the gave us access to Christiana i'mpoor, and
and all those wonderful journalists who came on board, mostly
because they understood I wasn't making a hagiography and I
(05:53):
wasn't trying to sanctify this woman because she wasn't always agreeable.
You know, she could be a done right bitch, and
they didn't want me to to spruce her up. So
and that doesn't interest me. I want the true human perspective,
because our flaws or bind us to get you know,
not our sanctity.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
How does that change you? Now?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
All I want to do is direct me. I want
to take all the things that I learned from this story.
No documentary is much harder than scripted because there is
no script. You don't know where the story is. You
gather all the interviews, and then you have to figure
out where's the punchiest place to start, which in our
case was amnesiac shows up in Texas and it can
remember nothing about her past. Well that's kind of interesting,
(06:37):
and then you learn was she into sex and drugs?
And punk music and way too young men, Holy Cow,
and then boom you're into the war and anyway you're
on a roller coaster. There's Barracuda playing, there's you know,
it's a rock and roll roller coaster. Her life.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
How did this lay out come into play?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Because I mean, did you build it as you were
uncovering you know that the research that you were doing,
or was it already built and you stepped in?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
No, I knew where I wanted to end at this
conflict in Lebanon where she was alone and she went.
She was first on the site with a professional camera
for an absolutely appalling incident, and so I knew where
I want to end it, and that's rare. You know,
you got to know your ending when you make any
kind of a project. You can't hope to find it later.
(07:26):
So I knew that was a strong place, and she
had a really interesting young adulthood in New Zealand. But
we eventually decided that didn't serve some and also I
couldn't corroborate a lot of the stuff, which would have
implicated a lot of high level people in my country
on charges that I couldn't corroborate.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So now where do you grow from here? Do you
have another project already in hand?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah? I want to take everything I've learned, the sound design,
the editing, the music, all that stuff of the set
design and apply it to what I know best, which
is drama working with actors.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
See that this is like the first step of your
brand new beginning. And this is so exciting to read
about it and to see it. But you see it
on TV and everything.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I can't tell you. I didn't see this coming in
my life. It's such a complete one eighty and what
a thrill.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
You think you're stuck on a track from you know, university,
your college tells you you know where you're going to
go in life, but it's not true. You can change
your mind things, can you know? There's new episodes unfolding
if if you're brave, I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
You got to come back to this show anytime in
the future. The door is always going to be open
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Thank you so much, Thank you for your time, and
thank you for watching it.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Well, absolutely, and thank you for sharing this with us
because as journalists and as broadcasters, this right here is
this feeds our inspiration.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, and it's designed to bring respect to the profession
because those people, as you and I sit here, are
out there face and death to bring us the truth.
And truth still matters, so true.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Will you be brilliant today? Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Thanks mine, Yeah, Geers, please do not move. Coming up next,
Nicki Walton, the author of Wake Up to Love. Hey,
thanks for coming back to my day of play. This
is the way it really went down before it went
into the editing room. We're talking with Nicki Walton, the
author of Wake Up to Love. Hello and good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
O My Hi Errow.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
It's Jeff Terry and I am calling to connect you
to Nicki.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Waltoner excellent, looking forward to this.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Okay, stand by please, Hey Nikki, please say hello to Arrow.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Hello, Arrow, Hello Nikki. How are you doing today?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
I'm wonderful. How are you?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I'm so proud of you for releasing this book at
the time that it is coming out. And the reason
why is because I think we are in a of chaotic,
you know, just out of control, and it's one of
those things where, yeah, and a book like this really
does open the door for people to have a better
understanding of what meditation is.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Absolutely you got it. Thank you for seeing that.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
One of the things that really caught my eye right
off the bat was I love this when you say
that when you stay aware of God's presence. I mean
it's like we're always saying something to God. It's like, oh,
we need you, we need you, we need you. The
thing is is that you kind of remind us that
He's always there, and you telling yourself that He's always there.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I love that statement.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Yes, exactly, and you're feeling God. It's not a blind faith.
This is a felt faith. And so as soon as
you feel God, you know he heard you. He knew
before you could even put it into words. You know,
God lives in your heart. Everywhere you go, he is,
He's already there when you get there.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well, it reminded me of back in the lockdown days
in twenty twenty when I kept writing in my daily journal, God,
where are you?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Where are you?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And finally the words came out from on that page.
It's said, I'm here, Where are you?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Dude? And it's like it's like, oh man, I never
even thought about that.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Yeah, it's like where's your attention? Right? God is always here,
but where is your attention, and our attention is usually
in the future, in the past, or we bring it
fright here, right now, to the silence, to the stillness.
Here he is as the I am.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You just said my two favorite words, I am. Oh
my god. Yes, you just suck the air right out
of my lungs. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So now to be able to write a book and
to host the podcast exposing or just sharing the way
that you are, that takes confidence, courage, hope, faith, determination,
and loyalty.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
What is it that you saw in yourself? You said,
I got to do it, no matter what, I got
to do it.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
You know, I didn't have a choice. It felt like
I had always been a person that needed to be obscurvans,
Like I came to this world wanting to make people small,
to make them happy, because I know how it feels
to not smile, to not feel happy, to not so
excited about the day, and so whatever form that took.
For a time, it was meeting a license psychotherapist and
(12:11):
working one on one with people, and then that shifted
to me sharing about hair and beauty, helping people love
themselves from me inside out, and then that current to
helping people feel their soul, how God feels in their body,
and I needed to share like you during COVID it
really started in a more authentic way. I stopped with
the filters. I started waking up at five am, just
(12:33):
so that I didn't have to be anything for anybody,
because at that hour people in my house are still
sleep and I would meditate, I chant, i'd do my practices,
i'd do my journaling, and that became the podcast. And
if you start sharing every day on the microphone, you
stop filter and the filters fall away, and you know,
it's like I never knew what would come. I just
knew I had to show up, and I'd show up
(12:54):
and I'd wait, and the silence would speak, the love
would speak, not just to the listener, but to the
other listener, like a listener first sitting you're at the microphone.
And then I knew, like, with fifteen hundred episodes in
the bank, somebody that's coming to my show on Apple,
that finds my show on Spotify might feel overwhelmed. And
so needing to put the best of the best, the
(13:16):
clearest of the clearest, in a book form so that
you can carry the words with you. And it's not
even really the words that are important. It's the space,
the silence and sillness, that blank space between letters that
the words are pointing you to, because in that space
you find the piece, You find the love of God,
and then that love changes you. It works, It does
(13:37):
your work, and it works on you. It changes your heart.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Wow, I love where your heart is.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
One of the things that I do on my transition
walks is I do a vocal d frag And the
reason why I do that is because I believe that
we need to preserve our.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Pitch, volume and tone.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
We can go and read our words in a journal
and it's an interpretation, but when you hear that emotion
coming back at you, you learn from that.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Oh that's good, heymen, I can feel that that's so true.
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Here's a quote that's in your book. We pinch ourselves
to know that we're alive. Oh my god, that's like
me biting my lip. Of course, that's so true.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Yes, yes, yes, always always, you know. Right now I
want you listening at home to close your eyes and
bow your head, bringing your hands up into prayer mode,
like fold them in front of you, and just hear
beyond my voice here beyond your thoughts to the silence
(14:37):
that's there. And notice that when you're using your body
like an antenna, when you're using it like this, when
you're in this humble posture, you can't have negative thoughts.
When you're down here, you feel him. And when you
feel him now you start thinking like him. You get
the mind that was in Christ, that is Christ, and
then it informs the rest of your day. It informs
(14:58):
your purpose. And then you'll find that the notes that
are written in your journal are the ones that you
can powerfully speak back, that you can share with others.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Learning to silence those voices.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That's the one complaint that I get from so many
people when I say, have you meditated today? Oh man,
there's so many voices in my head. I'm sure you've
heard the same stories a million times.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Yeah, yeah, And it's not about silencing. It's not about
silencing that well, you don't have to struggle or wrestle
with the thoughts. It's like one of my favorite teacher's Muji.
The first time I heard this from him, I fell
in love with it because it makes so much sense.
You don't have to silence the thoughts. It's just like
listening for the strings in a classical piece, you can
(15:46):
still hear all the other sections, all the other sounds.
But if you're listening for the strings, you can do
that and you'll hear them. You can hear my voice
and your thoughts and maybe the ambient sounds in your environment.
But you can listen for the silence. And that's not
something that you've ever done before. Right now, your mind
might be trying to figure out what it is I'm saying,
go bypass the mind and hear the silence that you
(16:08):
can hear at the same time as you're hearing the
sound of my voice. And once you train yourself, when
you train that muscle, you'll be able to hear the silence,
even at a rock concert, even at the airport, on
an airplane. You don't even need your headphones anymore. The silence,
the sounds around you, you can listen for the silence
they're coming from, the silence we came from, that we
exist in, and that silence is what makes that subtle
(16:32):
shift for you from chaos to peace, and not just spiritually,
but in your material world too.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Love plus consistency equals miracles. That's a pretty powerful statement.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yes, this felt love, feeling love consistently turning to it
as often as you can remember, which for me, it
looks like I stop in whatever moment I'm in and
I listen for the silence and that turning that moment.
It's like it's a split second. It's not even a second.
(17:06):
It's just it happens instantly. Something out here has changed,
has shifted, and you don't get to tell you what
it is. You don't get to say what it is.
But if you pay attention, you'll notice I've done that.
And when I've heard about a flight cancelation, when I've
gotten bad news about something something being delayed, if I
stop and I turn, oftentimes whatever that delay was there
(17:28):
isn't a delay anymore, or that flight gets read booked instantly,
or that news, even though it seemed bad, is actually good.
It's just a moment to moment shifting into seeing the
bigger picture, knowing that everything that's happening is actually for
your good. Everything that's happening is a miracle. If you
know how to look, that's it, and then you'll see, ah,
(17:49):
this is good, this is God, All of this is God.
I just forget that sometimes and when I forget I suffer.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Wow, ten minutes with you is not enough. But that's
the reason why you share the podcast. That's every bit
the reason why you now have a book in front
of us to where we can go in there and
read it. Because I mean, and in all honesty, I
think that this book is what you describe. It's an
easter egge. Now we have found it. Now let's enjoy
the benefits of what that easter egg is going to.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Share with us.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Absolutely, you got it.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
You got it.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
You're not hearing this by mistake. You haven't found me,
you know by chance. This is the turning point in
your life. This is where everything changes, Everything is wising,
including your consciousness. All you have to do is a
look up and back with within and it's fair.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
You got to come back to this show anytime in
the future, Nikki. The door is always going to be
open for you.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
Thank you so so much. Ero you are amazing. I
love your spirit. I can fill his light pouring through you.
Thank you for being that transparency for him.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Will you'd be brilliant? Okay?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
I will, thank you, Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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