Vocal De Frag Episode 180 Helping Others But Not Yourself

We're all extremely guilty of sacrificing a huge chunk of our life in the name of keeping peace on your street. What we do for others physically takes away from your efforts and dreams and most of the time you aren't getting that space back. As long as you offer your energy to others they will endlessly depend on it. Breaking that cycle in the way of realizing your own set aside dreams.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
One of the most successful singing competitions on American television
is The Voice on NBC. We've had the opportunity to
sit down with those who have participated since two thy sixteen.
So where can you find them? In one place a
rre net ero dot net look for that voice. Enjoy
your exploration.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hey, it's Aero And this is vocal dfrag. Vocal d
fragging is asking yourself the questions and questioning the answers.
Lord knows, we're always asking people about what should I do?
Should I do this? Oh? My god, if I made
this decision, is it going to affect other people? None
of them have walked in your shoes. None of them
are laying in the same bed dreaming the same dream

(00:41):
that you do that woke you up in the middle
of the night. Ask yourself the questions, then question the answers.
I call it vocal d fragging. And I also do
a regular dfrag journal on paper because man writing is
such a great tool when getting to your subconscious mind.
Vocal dfrag gives me the opportunity to hear my pitch,

(01:02):
volume and tone, and this way when I come back
and study it, because I'm asking the questions and questioning
the answers, then I can hear the actual physical pitch,
volume and tone. This is vocal. D frak Okay, My
question today is going to be something that's going to
hit hard. Do we depend on other people's emotions to

(01:24):
guide us along the way? In other words, the decisions
that other people make. Do we allow that to shape
the paths that we walk upon? Each and every day?
People are moody and they're going to get even moody,
or as this world continues to change, the difference between
who we are today and who we were five years ago,
ten years ago, one hundred percent in a completely different

(01:46):
direction because we evolve on a daily basis. But how
many times has your decision been based on other people's
emotions when in fact that's not the way it's supposed
to be. You should be able to have enough string
inside of you saying I'm going to be me today,
and in being me, I'm going to be strong because
I'm going to make that choice to be stronger than

(02:07):
what I was yesterday. People are consistently looking at me
and saying, why are you so upbeat? And I'll sit
there and I'll look at them, and I think in
my head. I never let it out, but I'll think
in my head. Am I upbeat? Do they know what
I'm thinking right now? Do they know what I did
before I got here today? Do they know what I
wrote about today? Am I really upbeat? No? I'm making

(02:29):
the physical choice to have a positive presentation. And the
reason why I'm doing that is because I'm a firm
believer in the decisions that other people make. It does
reshape what it is that we're doing. And that's the
toughest thing about the entire journey is that we're allowing
other people's bad days, their emotions, their cry babying and

(02:52):
things like that to be Oh, well, I'm going to
stop doing this because you know you're not feeling good
about yourself. So I'm going to stop doing my happy thing,
and I'm gonna work with you. I remember growing up
with my mother, and she always seemed to be in
that mindset of always trying to please my father. My
father was a World War Two veteran. We didn't have PTSD,
we didn't know what that was back then. She all shocked. Yeah,

(03:15):
but PTSD like it's talked about today, and my mother
she would base her whole entire situation in every day
based on how am I going to please the man
that I love and I promised to take care of
for the rest of her life. And that really should
have been an eye opener for me, because that's the
way that I started doing things with my own first marriage,

(03:37):
is that I put all my focus on taking the
extreme negatives of the woman that became my wife. I
didn't know about her childhood. I heard about it, but
I didn't experience it, and her childhood in her storylines
was torrential. But because I didn't experience anything like that,

(03:57):
I changed my entire persona and voice to reflect one thing,
How was I going to make her happy? Did it
steal from my dreams? Sure it did, But then again,
that's what marriage is all about, right. Marriage is a business.
Marriage is also togetherness and a collaboration. But when other
people's decisions are controlling what you're doing, it takes you

(04:22):
off your own game. You can't be you if you're
trying to please everybody else. And that's the question for you,
What are you doing in your personal life and on
that path where it's about them and rarely about you? Now?
Is it conceded for me? To be talking about this.
I'm not thinking so, because once again, they're not sitting

(04:43):
in the car without the radio, they're not sitting in
a living room without the television set, and they're not
sitting there wondering what am I going to do today?
Because I feel like crap? And if I feel like crap,
I don't want to give it to somebody else. I'm
going to do fay happy, Oh oh, the candy coated
plastic bathroom mirror smile. You've been there, I've been there.

(05:07):
We do it all the time. But are you getting
anything done? You have the dreams, the ambition, the fight,
and by now you probably have that back in the
head thought that says, why is it taking so long
to accomplish what it is that I need? Here's the question,
what are you doing for others that you're refusing to

(05:29):
do for yourself? Ask the questions, question the answers. I
call it vocal dep writing a Meryl