#188 - Full Cups of Unconditional Love w/ Truthseekah & Arien

Derek Aka Truthseekah & his wife Arien are a power couple, musical medicine concoctors, spiritual seekers, healers & all around beautiful humans. This was a special episode regarding their first Aya ceremony together. 


Truthseekah & Arien's links:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100050544936788&name=xhp_nt__fb__action__open_user

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=578297897&name=STSDirectNavUserDecorator

https://www.instagram.com/truthseekah?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://m.youtube.com/@TruthSeekah

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
M HM. Gather in the flowersand flowers from the forest, forest full

(00:33):
of medicine to help us with ourheal and healing of our bodies. Body
minded spear and spirit of the water. Musha over my heart or my heart
is growing open and open English moment. Each moment is a mirror cole that's
calling us to gather, gathering theflowers and flowers from the forest, forest

(01:00):
ful of medicine to help us withour healing, healing of our bodies.
Body minded, spear and spirit ofthe water. Come rush away my tears
tears of joy. I'm crying,crying for my people. People. We
are read and remember we are free, free to be a new people,

(01:25):
be to fall epowered, empower.We nech other and peace. We come
to gather peace. We come togather coldster. Gather in the flowers,

(01:53):
flowers from the forest, forest fullof medicine to help us with our heal
and healing of our bodies. Bodyminded, spear and spirit of the water.
Come mush over my parsha or myheart is growing home and open.
Each moment, each woman is amirror call. It's calling us two gathers

(02:17):
together and the flowers flowers from theforest, forest full of medicine to help
us with our heels and the healingof our bodies. Body minded, spear
and spirit of the water. Comerush away, my teachers, tears of

(02:37):
joy. I'm crying, crying formy people. People. We are read
and remember we are free, arefree in people. You to full empowered,
empowering me, jump and peace.We come too, gathered to gather

(03:01):
it pays. We come to Welcometo Ascension of the Chessmen, diving into

(03:31):
the esoteric, occult, spiritual,and conspiratorial aspects of life, focused on
solutions to the problems we face inour everyday lives. Let us ascend above
all differences. Let us be thelight in darkness, a breath of fresh
air to those who can hardly breathe, and together awaken into greatness. This

(03:54):
is Acension of the Chessmen with yourhost Andre Mitti. Welcome to the Ascension
of the chess Men podcast. I'myour host Andrea Mitti. Today's guests are
a power couple, musical medicine concoctorsand all around beautiful humans, ladies and

(04:15):
gentlemen. Hobbinson Fairies give warm Welcometo Derek Aka Trusika and his wife Aeron.
Happy to have y'all. Hey,I'm glad to be here. Man,
it's an honor. Thank you,so happy to have you. Yeah,
this is gonna be a special episode. I thank you all for tuning
in. I'm so happy to haveyou back. Brother. Like we were

(04:39):
talking before the show started, youwere my first guests. You've been on
one since then, but always goodto catch up. And you were a
big inspiration for me when I wasfirst starting out, one of the many
shows I listened to and was inspiredby. So I always hold a special
place in my heart for you.Uh. And you know the role you

(05:00):
played on my path, man.And it's an honor to have your wife
here as well, Aaron. Pleasureto meet you for the first time and
to speak with you. So happyto have you both. Thank you.
It's nice to meet you totally.But yeah, So this is you know,
a couple of months out from anew adventure that it seems like was

(05:26):
kind of uh spontaneous, Uh isa good word for it, or just
kind of mystical, synchronistic, uh, spiritually led? Spirit led? Yeah,
So how did we get here?Like? What brought on this conversation?
What brought you out of your cave? If you will, like,

(05:48):
how did this all begin? Andwhere did it all start? With this
recent adventure you guys took part in. I got a face book Well,
I'm sorry. I got an Instagrammessage from from a guy who was telling
me that they listened to my songI Am that I have with a couple

(06:11):
of different artists that we put togethera couple of years ago, and it's
one of the most listened to songsin my catalog on Spotify. And the
guy sent me a DM said,hey, man, I love your song
and we listened to it all thetime. He said, I run a
ayahuasca healing retreat in Texas and it'sactually part of our ritual during the integration,

(06:34):
which he said, they put togetherthese four day retreats, and so
after they go in with ayahuasca andmeet mama and do the deep work on
the integration, they listened to thesong and he plays it like a ritual,
like just for the lyrics and thehealing and stuff, and it's part

(06:55):
it's part of their their thing,and so it was really cool. He
told me that. Then he sentme a picture of his mom. He
says, my mom listens to yourmusic too, and she's she's a part
of our ceremonies. And he sentme a picture of her tattoo and she
has this big tattoo on her arm. It says I am I am everything,

(07:17):
I am everything ayahuasca under it.And I'm like, wow, So
there's you know, a spousika tattoo. My lyrics, you know, and
you know, these songs speaking topeople, and I was just really honored
and blessed that the guy told methat they were doing that, and he
was like, I would love to, you know, see if I can

(07:39):
get you to come perform at oneof our retreats. And I'm like,
you know, it doesn't seem togo together, even though like the music
is sacred and healing. You thinkthat, you know, this ayahuasca retreat
I've never you know, been apart of one. Right asked me to
come to a concert essentially at anayahuasca retreat. So I was like,

(08:00):
that'd be awesome, man, wouldyou know, make it happen and you
know, cover my expenses to helpme get there and stuff and we'll come.
And he's like, oh, we'lltake care of you, man.
So anyway, we booked it Davidstob with Magical Retreats out in Texas,
and they set us up. Flewout there, and in our heads we

(08:22):
were telling all our friends, we'relooking forward to it because we had we
had our retreat and then that retreatlike back to back, like our retreat
was December second, and then thefollowing weekend. I believe it was maybe
in a full week to ten daysbetween, but it wasn't much was the
Iowa. So we go to ourretreat and get you know, amazing encounter

(08:46):
at our retreat, and then goto the Ayahuasca and we're telling everybody we're
just gonna. I didn't feel calledto go that deep, you know,
and I mean, you know,maybe fear, but definitely respect, Like
I want to make sure it's callingme. I want to make sure that
it's a thing that that's you know, God ordained or divine you know.

(09:09):
Yeah, you know, you know. So we were like, well,
you know what you're getting that callit? Yeah? What you mean?
We got there and got to meeteverybody, and just the facility and all
the facilitators and all the shamans andstuff and all the people, and some
of my people came to like onedude that was at our retreat. He

(09:30):
booked a spot at the Ayahuasca retreattoo, and like, wow, anyway,
we just we were talking. Wewere like, we want to at
least say hello to the medicine.We want to sit with you guys in
ceremony. We just want to takea little sip. He's like, well,
that's fine. If you guys justwant to take a little sip just
to say hello and then ease in, that's fine. And so that's what

(09:52):
that was going to be our plan, because we didn't plan on doing any
right about it. Let's just doa a sip and sit with those Yeah
yeah, major yeah. And thenso we did that, and uh that's
for the first cup. So theydo three rounds, three cups throughout the
night. We did the first oneand she's like, I'm gonna do I'm

(10:15):
gonna do a full cup on thenext one. When they do the next
call, I'm gonna do the nextcup. Like okay. So so that
that was on into it. Youknow, uh, take a sip and
then go sit down. She's like, nah, we gotta I'm going in.
Mom is calling us. Let's go. And so that's what we did
and I took I had three cups. Did you do it stopped? Ever?

(10:35):
Two? I felt like that wasit for me. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, for me, it wastoo too Two was too too much.
No, there's ever too much,but yeah two was just enough for
me. I did one and ahalf and I think that was a sweet
spot for me. But one,I feel like I was just on the
cusp. But like it's like thisweird communication where you you're like diagnose the

(11:00):
dose from the medicine itself, likeyou just have this inner calling of you
feel like you need more. Youfeel you know you've had enough, and
you're like, okay, I'm good, like and it's yeah, it's like
not addictive whatsoever. Like you know, you do hear about people that go
back regularly and stuff, but likemore so maintenance than anything. I think
people can get caught up in thecycle of it. But like you know

(11:24):
what I mean, Like you're notlike, yeah, I'm gonna go do
this tomorrow, Like no, You'relike I'm good for a long time and
because it wakes you up, likeyeah, yeah. And I also I
also just wanted to say, brother, it was like you were singing ekeros
without even realizing it. You know, it was like you had foreshadowed your

(11:45):
life in a way. Man,Like it's wild and the still blows me
away out there, but you don'tyou know, you don't know until you
get the DM, you know,and you don't know until they tell me
to the call. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I guess were you
guys prepared for this or like,were you hesitant going in like I don't

(12:09):
know about all this or did ittake you a bit to like realize you
were safe and sound and like okay, like I can do this. I'm
I'm ready for this. I'm Ifeel home here and I'm gonna be okay.
Yeah. For me, I hadnever I had always, you know,
seen documentaries and seen people going todo with ayahuasca and I'm like,

(12:31):
that's terrible. I'm never doing that. I mean it wants to go and
you know, throw up and rightself in front of a bunch of people,
like that's my worst nightmare. Humiliating. Yeah. But I was also
in a really terrible place, andit's been revealed to me since then that
I had a lot of trauma thatI was holding in my body, anything

(12:54):
that relatively was uncomfortable, even takinga cold shower. I physically could not
do it, so anything that representedthe discomfort because I had all that trauma
stored up in my body, therewas no way I would ever do it.
But then at our retreat at thebeginning of December, I had an

(13:15):
amazing encounter where it was just likemy DNA was changed. All of that
trauma and stuff got loosened up andtaken out of me. All this stuff
was revealed to me that I hadno idea I even had stuff still stored
in my body from when I wasfifteen that had happened to me. And
yeah, so because the ayahuasca wasso shortly after that, I was already

(13:41):
feeling like a new person, becauseI felt like I had been walking around
like a zombie. The last coupleof years. I dealt with a lot
of really intense grief and loneliness anddepression and all this stuff and self defeating
beliefs of all kinds. Yeah,shame guilty. So I just got lasted

(14:01):
and then went to this Ayahuascar retreat. I was just kind of like a
newborn babe, like I could seeeverything with new eyes and nothing nothing was
like too uncomfortable for me. SoI just am kind of taking it in
and going with the flow. Andthe people there when you when you meet
them and you're open and flowing likethey're they're walking such peace and such safety

(14:26):
and calmness. Like the people allof the people met there were amazing angels.
Yeah, that's what it felt likefor me. Like, yeah,
dude, totally real. We like, hold on, we need to see
what high school you guys went to. Like yeah, I mean there was
definitely a part where I was likeI'm out of Colt, like I'm about
to get sacrificed to the fire.Like there was hellish aspects too, like

(14:48):
me too at the the last Yeah, the veriest part of it. Yeah,
over, dude, you're dead oneof those movies Nothing Rebirth. Yes,
yeah, so that's cool you experiencedthat too, because it's kind of
embarrassing, but it's real, youknow what I'm saying. Oh yah,
yeah it you have no shame afterthat because you know, and that's part

(15:11):
of it, you know, becauseI relate to that Aaron, like I
was the same way, like watchingdocumentaries about Aya for years. I remember,
you know, probably back in twentytwelve was the first time I started
learning about Aya, and I wascurious about it for many years, but
it was always like this Mount Everest, I was too afraid to climb,
you know, and it was like, this is serious, Like this isn't

(15:33):
dabbling with some mushrooms. Like thisis a serious commitment. And a lot
of people don't really commit to ituntil they're at the end of their rope,
until they need a serious wake upcall, until they're almost desperate for
help. You know. It's likea call out for help. And I
started to see that, and youknow, my ex girlfriend like had a

(15:54):
tremendous transformation right before my eyes.And that's what called me to it.
Was when we went together for thefirst time after she had got back from
her first experience, and you know, she gave me the courage to do
it at that time. And youknow, I still plan to go back
and sit with Mama again. Butyou know, there's just so much to

(16:15):
integrate, like after that experience,and I'm still integrating like two years later.
And you know, I've also volunteered, so I've been on both sides
of it. I've been sober inthe experience, helping others through and to
have you know, people come upand you know, thank you so much,
you know, like just like theway they express their their truest love

(16:37):
for you, and like the spaceyou held for them, and you're just
sitting there thinking like, dude,I didn't do anything. I was just
sitting there, you know, observing, like making sure everyone was safe walking
into the bathroom and stuff. Butlike to them, it's like you were
like, you know, fighting demonsfor it. Like you were, you
know, protecting them and really lookingout for them, and like you were

(17:02):
being of service when I needed youthe most. In those vulnerable states,
when you're truly raw and in yournatural form to where you have nothing to
hide, everything is revealed. Andthat's what I think all plant medicines have
the capability to do, is likebring out all the unconscious side of ourselves,

(17:25):
you know, to amplify what isalready there, and you know,
all that stuff, all the smallstuff we get hung up on, like
all the judgments towards ourselves and otherpeople are projections or traumas, like we
didn't even realize we're still struggling with, like behaviors that we incorporate into our
adulthood that were like, oh thisis where I picked this up at thirteen

(17:48):
when I learned this or this personhurt me and I never fully forgave them.
I didn't fully forgive myself. Likeit brings all that up and like
there was so many life lessons forme, and I can only imagine,
like, you know, what theexperience was like for you guys, So
like I was, it's hard touh So I'll start with Aaron first off,

(18:12):
Like when you when you drank thatsecond cup and it really started to
you know, uh, you startedto feel the medicine heavy and stuff started
getting real. Was it pretty smoothsale for you? Were you struggling to
fully surrender and let go? BecauseI know that can always be a challenge

(18:34):
for us all at different parts ofthe journey. I think sometimes no matter
what you're dealing with, it couldstill be hard to surrender and fully let
go and commit and just trust thatit's all going to be okay. And
that's really what we we struggle thehardest, is like when we just can't
fully surrender and trust that the universehas our back, like Mama's got us,

(18:56):
She's holding us in her arms,you know. So what was that
like for you, Aaron? Tostart off and then truth Sika, how
about you fall? So I waspretty invested in it because I was just
so open and I definitely knew itwas calling to me. Yeah, I
did struggle with the like I didn'twant to purge for some reason. I

(19:19):
really didn't want to purge. Iguess could just because it's not fun.
But then I could, I couldhear a message coming through, like you're
drinking this medicine. This medicine isworking on you and working things out of
you, and you can make achoice right now to either purge and get
it out or you can hold ontoit. It's your choice. And I

(19:40):
just it was like a split second, there was really no decision to be
made. I was like, well, I definitely want it out because I
don't want to hold on to anythingthat's not serving me anymore. I've done
that too many years, wasted toomuch time. So that was the hardest
part for me as far as surrendering. But once I got over that little
hump, yeah, it was fine. It was It was great and real

(20:03):
quick, like once you finally purgedand you know you're looking in that bucket,
like what did that represent to you? Like all that you purged and
got rid of Like what was thatstuff you were leaving behind? Like just
stuff that wasn't serving you. Imean, you don't have to get into
specifics, but you know what Imean. So a lot of the emotional
stuff was worked out of me atour retreat and that was through the plant

(20:26):
medicine cacao. Mmm. So wewe had a really deep, beautiful cacao
ceremony. But this one and thebreathwork along with and breathwork, breathwork,
but this one, I have beenstruggling in my physical body and I felt
like it was a physical manifestation ofillness coming out of me. And it

(20:49):
was because afterwards the shaman said hejust kind of announced to the group.
He's like, I don't know whatthis means, but I just want to
tell everybody that I felt like whatwas coming forth was from a lot of
different people cancer cells that kind offor witness with me, and I think

(21:10):
that could have been something that wascoming out of me. But I do
know that it was a physical manifestationof healing. Wow. Yeah, like
spiritual psychic surgery almost wild. Yeah. And there was another guy who who
got healed of brain cancer, terminalbrain cancer, like that was he only

(21:32):
he went the holistic path. Thedoctors told him he had two months to
live two years ago. Wow,and he went strictly. He started getting
procedures and he's like, nah,I'm not doing that. I'm going to
commit myself to the healing journey,holistic past, I'm going to do.
He did it all right, he'sdoing you know, taking care of his
body, cold plunges, hyper thermicchambers or whatever, hyperbaric chamber he is

(21:57):
doing. All he bought it,bought one like expensive in his house.
So instead of working the money outfor the surgeries and all that stuff,
he's like, I'm gonna heal anduh so, I guess the the the
peak of his healing was to godo an ayahuasca ceremony and he you know,
terminal brain cancer looking bad and hewas purging like he was. You

(22:21):
can tell he was. He wastrying to man like get it out of
him. You know, he's likedemonic this grow test things. So yeah,
with his breath working with his like, it was really intense for him.
But man, he he went homeafterwards and he stayed the whole thing,
but went home afterwards and got aclean report. No cancer in his

(22:42):
body. Dude, mm hm,Like, yeah, this is a and
we've we've heard we've heard this storya lot that people are Yeah, they're
the cancers. They're shitting it outand coffee. It's coming out of them.
Like all of the bad stuff whateverin you, that's that's foreign and

(23:02):
it's not supposed to be there.That this is the ceremony to get rid
of it and to identify how itgot there and to be real with yourself
and to be real with with lifeand with death. It is a death
ritual, I feel totally. Andand to get it out of you though,
to acknowledge it, salute it,look it in the face, do

(23:26):
it your deepest fares and uh andand listen to the cock crow as the
sun rises. To be on yourdeathbed and be okay with the life you
lived. And that's the hardest thingyou ever have to face, It's like,
but to encounter that in life beforeyou actually die, it's like,
yeah, that will change your life, Like how could it not? And

(23:48):
it just made me think, man, like I think all in all,
what you're saying is just it speaksto the connection, uh, you know,
between the mind, body, spiritand you know how that's been lost
in modern times, and I thinkit's slowly coming back out, like it's
I think the last few years,like we all kind of you know,

(24:10):
we're shown that of how fear canyou know, create illness, uh and
literally kill people. I think thatyou know, you look back into history
too, like in the Dark Ages, like when people got sick, they
thought they were like possessed by demons, and there is truth to that,

(24:30):
because you know, they could havethese dark energies, these dark thoughts that
had just overcame them that that youknow, became these illnesses, Like it
started as a spiritual disease and thenit evolved into this physical disease that ends

(24:51):
up you know, killing you,you know, if you don't ever address
it. And I think Aya isjust one of those medicines. I mean,
look at how Iowa was created thefirst place, Like the plants told
them to combine these two plants tocreate Iawaska, which is a barracletive itself
of all the plants in the Amazon. But the fact that you know it

(25:12):
can literally perform these psychic spiritual surgerieson people and literally help them address the
deepest issues they've struggled with their entirelife that goes back decades. You know.
For some people it's like past lifetimesthat they're still struggling with, like
integrating, or you know, theyhave wounds from previous generations or their parents'

(25:36):
parents and their parents and all thistrauma that keeps getting passed on, whether
it's alcoholism in the family or whateverit may be. You know, it's
miraculous, man, And I've seenit too. You know. I remember
a story of a guy that literallyhad plans to commit suicide when he got
to the airport because he got thisfree Ayahuascar retreat and he had already bought

(26:00):
in the gun and everything, andhe had met a guy right when he
got to the airport that said hewas going to the retreat as well.
That he was sitting on the benchand this guy sat next to him.
He said, Oh, you're nothere for ayahuasca, are you, And
he said, yeah, I'm goingto this retreat at Soul Quest And that
literally changed the course of his life, just that synchronicity, meeting the right

(26:22):
person at the right time, realizinghe was going there too. So he
didn't have a choice at that point, like, yeah, I think spirit
like led that guy to meet himat that time and say like, no,
you're not backing out. I gota different path for you ahead,
and you know, it changed hislife and he never he never looked back

(26:42):
since after that and to like hearhim tell the story of it, and
he was a veteran with all thisPTSD, and you see that a lot
in these ceremonies, man, islike what it's doing for the veterans that
you know come back from war andthey have all these voices and you know,
and like almost like movies playing outin their heads that are like constantly

(27:04):
re traumatizing them, and it's hardfor them to just like get on with
life and go back to a normallife. And you know, I has
this death and reburse sense to itwhere she reburs you and it's like you're
a whole new person, like youfeel human again. For me, the
biggest takeaway, man, was likefeeling like I had been numb for so

(27:26):
long and I was finally able tofeel again. That that feeling like is
indescribable, man, And like it'salmost getting me emotional just to like bring
that up, dude, because it'sbringing me back to that place of you
know, first remembering that part ofme that I had, you know,

(27:47):
put all this uh you know,all this numbing onto for so long,
you know, ever since I wasa kid, man like through traumatic experiences
as a teenager even and not realizinghow that affected me into my adulthood,
just like through choices I would make, or like the way I would treat

(28:07):
people, or like certain attitudes Iwould have, or the way I would
talk to myself, like all theselittle things. Man Like, it's like
a laundry list of things that getbrought out to you and you're like,
man, I didn't realize it wasthis law. Yeah, I thought I
was okay, Yeah, yeah,oh you guys jump in. No,
it's good though, man, becauseI mean it's it's it's really because obviously

(28:33):
we're all connected. So yeah,I feel like you can listen to almost
anybody's story and it's something's gonna relate. Yes, it's gonna make sense for
you to have some type of similarexperience, you know, a similar takeaway.
You know, you can't speak foreverybody though, that's the thing,
you know, but you you youcan't speak your truth. And no one

(28:56):
of the things I keep hearing inmy head daughter said it, we've we've
noticed it for sure, but shesaid, uh, everything, And this
was in December. It's March now. And my daughter said, you two
have been so lovey dovey ever sinceyou've come home from the Ayahuasca Patriau.

(29:17):
It's like everything and and our youknow, life and relationships and stuff all
got an upgrade and was able tolet old things die. That's you know,
all things come new, man.It's not just to die. And
that's that's the lesson I believe ofof ayahuasca is that there is no death

(29:40):
right of the darkness, Like quitholding on to the dead thing. Look
to me, put it in theground and I'll rebirth it into something new.
I'll repurpose your hurt, purpose,your pain, m and the stuff
that's in you that that you're hurtand you're bleeding on people who and cut
you right, heal you, youknow, And so a lot of a

(30:04):
lot of times where you know,we just kind of learned the course correct
or pretend that we're okay, andwe're really not. And so we saw
these little things, these little nuancesthat we're not even aware of that we're
doing that are harmful and they're notlife giving. I can go on and
on, you know, because likeyou said, we're still uncovering, right,

(30:26):
and all this stuff. I haven'tabout seventy days sober from alcohol gratulations
drinking this year too, right andlast year? Yeah? Yeah, And
for me, like, uh,you know, right after the Ayahuasca,
I tried to come back and andand and have a couple of beers here,

(30:49):
and then then I look around thatI was the only one having beers.
Yeah, that film isn't good.And then she like what God was
doing in her heart and in herlife, and she was like she had
been asking me to quit for yearsand I couldn't, you know. And

(31:10):
and just seeing you know, thechildlike wonder and awe and faith and life
returned to her and She's like,I'm not, I'm done. And then
I'm like, well, I'm It'slike I got it. It was just
the perfect way of the way Godworked it out that gave me the strength
to be able to do it forher and for myself, you know.

(31:30):
And she's been helping me and youknow, we're drinking teas and stuff.
Now it's you know what I'm saying. So yeah, it's I it's little
things that you just become a partof you, and it's like you justify
it, and it's how we copeinstead of facing the thing, because we're
hiding, you know, behind it, and it's you know, it's a

(31:53):
crutch. Well, like you weresaying about feeling numb, what we do
as human beings to deal with painis we cover it up or we disassociate,
make ourselves smaller so it doesn't feelas big. But what you don't
realize you're doing is all of thebad stuff that you're making smaller, you're

(32:13):
making all the good stuff smaller too, right, right man, Like you
said, when you finally are clean, clean and clear and you can feel
again and you can love again,like I'll never forget what it felt like
to be a zombie, and I'mto do everything in my power to never
go back to that place and totry to help other people get out of
that place. Yes, that's thehonor of it. Yes, that's the

(32:37):
that's the humbling nature of it.Is like, no, it's not like
you're special now, because like you'reyou and you found you and all this
it's like no, now you goshare it with the world and help others
find themselves too, Like bring everybodyback to their you know, their homes
and where they belong so we cancoexist together, like all get a log

(32:59):
care, you know, create abetter world, like be the change we
want to see, you know.For me, like this overarching message was
like you said Aaron, like tobe loved, you have to be love.
You know. It's like Bob Marleysays that in a lot of songs.
But like you know, if ifyou want to be loved, if

(33:19):
you want to love someone, youcan't love someone if you don't fully love
yourself, you know, if youdon't fully respect yourself and honor yourself and
you're humble yourself and know what youdeserve and you know, have boundaries with
people that you know walk all overyou or treat you like crap or whatever.
Like it's just like yeah, youit's like you're seeing yourself for the

(33:42):
first time again. You're like,oh, yeah, this person, I
love this person. Like let's treateach other better, like treat yourself better,
and you know it. It makesyou like change your life in so
many drastic ways, like alcohol man. For me, it was like I
was like I partied in my youngerdays, you know, I had that

(34:04):
phase where I was drinking a lot, never like super heavy, but you
know, partying. But then likemore recently, i'd say the last five
years or so, it was likeI always liked the taste of beer,
so I would have like a beeror two when I would drink. I
feel like weddings were the ones thatwould get me. That were like okay,

(34:27):
free free bar, like yeah,we'll just go all out. But
other than that, like it wasalways a few beers. But like then
it just got to this point whereI'm like I don't even like need this,
Like I just don't. I don'tfeel like the use for it anymore
in my life. Like it wasjust like it wasn't doing anything for me
anymore. And it was like,because I've always had this mantra like in

(34:51):
my prayers of like maybe my actions, my thoughts, and my words being
the harmonic alignment in this moment andevery moment that passes. And it was
like that was one of those thingswhere it's like, you know, I
talk all this stuff on alcohol,and I know what it does to people.
I know how it's harmed you know, populations like natives for example,

(35:12):
you know, just knowing all thedamage it's done, all the dui is,
the domestic violence and all this stuff, and I'm sitting here still drinking
a beer, Like, yeah,I might have one beer, but I'm
still like putting my energy into thiswhole you know, conglomerate of you know,
the creation of alcohol and what itdoes, and then you know,

(35:35):
learning about the alchemical use of itand you know, pulling spirit for matter
and you know, you get intoyou know, we call them spirits and
like the whole mythology surrounding alcohol andall that stuff, and just yeah,

(35:55):
yeah, it just got to apoint where like, Okay, I know
all this, but why am Istill like taking part of it. It's
like, all right, this isit. Like I'm laying it down for
good and I did. The lastdrink I had was the Michigan Nebraska game
this year last fall. And yeah, it's it doesn't feel like a lot

(36:20):
has changed. I mean I feela lot better, but like it.
Yeah, it also I think showsyou who your real friends are, because
you know, so many relationships revolvearound drinking some beers or whatever, and
once you stop that, like it'slike they don't see you. The same,
you know, the people that youwould do that with. And you

(36:40):
know, I think part of ittoo, is like learning not to cave
in those environments because like for formeralcoholics, I know they really struggle,
like being in an atmosphere of abar, going to a concert, and
dude, there's so many good nadrinks out there these days. Like you
go to like Colorado for example,I live in the Midwest, and like

(37:04):
their grocery store half their liquor sectionnow is all non alcoholic, and it
just tells you where things are heading. Like we didn't have this ten years
ago. You might have had liketwo options for non alcoholic beers. And
I know, like if you're followingthe twelve step model and all that,
like they frown upon non alcoholic drinks, but like to each their own.
You know, you can drink anon alcoholic celtzer with some lemon lemon juice

(37:29):
while you're at a concert and likestill trick your mouth pleasure into thinking you're
drinking booze when you're not, anddrive home completely sober and not have to
worry about a dui, Like youhave a way better time in my experience,
And like, you know, forthose out there struggling, Like I
know how that feels. And I'vebeen around people who have quit drinking and

(37:51):
you know, have felt that pressurewhen they're in those environments to like be
triggered to go get a drink.And I'm just saying, like, it's
possible, man if I can doit, if Trucyca can do it,
if Faron can do it, anyonecan do it. So it's worth it.
You're worth it totally. But yeah, I guess what, uh what

(38:14):
was the experience like following ceremony doyou guys have like integration calls? Did
you learn more about like the processof integration and what that's all about,
because like I feel like that's amisconception too people can have, especially within
like the festival communities and hippie cultureand stuff. Is like, uh,

(38:37):
the integration aspect is left out ofplant medicine and it's just like this reckless
abandon and just like last minute,we're going to do this or we're going
to do that. But like whenyou have a ceremonial aspect, like you
prepare for and you honor and respectand you know, learning to talk about
these experiences after it because like sometimesthese see things. You're like, Okay,

(39:00):
what the hell did that be?Like what was the vedicine tried to
show be? And like six monthslater you're like, oh, like that's
what that was tried to show be. Like no, I'm starting to like
unravel that and understand it more so, like, did you see integration from
a new perspective upon your first experiencewith the medicine. I think that the

(39:23):
people who signed up were like partof some classes before, like leading up
to it and stuff, But weweren't because we weren't home doing it right
right, We weren't planning on doingit. Even when we got there,
We're like, yeah, we're gonnasit out. We're just gonna sit with
you guys. We're you know,we're here to help you guys get through
the night, you know. Andthen that didn't happen. You know,

(39:46):
we had we had to have helpkind of getting through the night. But
so we did. We didn't reallyprepare in that sense. We prepared on
the sense that it was something sacredto help people that we need, we
needed to be clean, and weneeded to take it seriously. That kind
of you know, ceremonial. Yeah, it's there's that, but we didn't

(40:07):
think we were the ones going in, so we whenever we left. It's
a it's a four day retreat totwo nights and then two days integration,
and I think they do other stufftoo, but we did the first night,

(40:29):
got up the next morning and Ihad I knew I got what I
came for. So because it got, it got really wild for me the
next like at the end, youknow, that weird psychosist kind of sit
in, and it got it gotreal scary, and uh so I went

(40:50):
through that little bit of stuff,but there was so many, so many
epiphanies and all that hit me rightat the end of like it it was
darkest before don brother. Yeah,but the dawn was there and that was
exactly That's what I was yet,yeah, yeah, and uh so it
was hard. So anyway, Igot what I came for. As far

(41:13):
as like us going in, abig part was was, you know,
just Mama revealing, you know,my relationship with the femin in my life
and being my wife, my daughterand my mom and just showing me that
aspect and showing me mother's aspect ofyou know, how she's here supporting us

(41:36):
and have always And it was hugeepiphany. So once we made it through
the night and went to sleep first, we got the share afterwards that morning.
But we went to sleep, wokeup and we're like, yeah,
I think we're good. We're not. We're not going in tonight. So
it was like our room was rightby where they were going to do the
ceremony inside the second night. Itwas outside of night inside the sanctuary second

(42:01):
night, so we're like, yeah, I don't know if we want if
we want to be here, sowe went out a hotdel Yeah, and
so we talked to the shaman Davidand told them like, hey, we
feel led to, you know,go elsewhere tonight. And so that was
kind of like our our sit downfor for integration. Hey, be careful,

(42:24):
Like you guys are susceptible. Youguys are super open, you know,
smug. You gave us some sage, you know, telling us about
smuggling ourselves and and just what we'regoing to be seeing for the next two
weeks and how things are going tobe, you know, just that the
veil is going to be very thin, and so just be super careful.

(42:45):
So that was our integration. Soit was the coaching on that aspect and
then us being able to like beaware of it, like just simply leaving.
Yeah, that first two weeks afteryour your ride, and for a
while, I don't yeah, Idon't know, maybe riding low say that

(43:07):
like grounded with a low high ifyou will, the integration with death and
with the darkness. Yes, it'snot an enemy kind of thing to allow
dead things to die if they youknow, if they're trying to take you
with it. But just that thatwhole process, if you will, that

(43:29):
revealed itself to us the next day, well, really that night the programming
on television we heard at the atthe restaurant at the hotel, like everything
coming out of the television was deathand we're like super sensitive all negative it
to get that out of here.Everything was drama, everything was ye,

(43:52):
we were sensitive there and the messagesthat were coming through through the television and
seeing this thing through people. Butthe next morning we went outside. We
woke up and it had been overcastsince we got to Texas, and we're
su gazers. We're staying at thesun earlier, wide eye, hopeful,

(44:14):
just going the We love it.We love sitting in the sun and just
that process of our spiritual connection andwe had not to see the sun see
the sun there. And so wewoke up the next morning and got to
open the front the front door ofthe of the hotel we were in and
just the sun was just beaming rightthere and no clouds in the sky.
So we got to take a walkand the vultures were everywhere. Wow,

(44:38):
we got to and we're obsessed withthe birds. We have a spiritual connection
with the birds and their messages andstuff. But it's always the beautiful birds,
always the colorful ones, and neverthe scary vultures, the dark ones,
the death theaters, if you will. And so it was that we
had that epiphany how we got towatch them spiral up and help assist souls

(45:01):
to the other side and moving energyin the clouds and just really gazing at
them and letting them communicate with usand showing us really cool stuff. And
we're walking and there's even bones onsidethe road as we're walking, like the
death everywhere, you know. Yeasuper And then we get back to the

(45:22):
parking lot and we're still watching themall like and they're spinning making a spiral
like wow, looking a huge wto come down to fly right above us
rules, like what is going on? It's like and then we look up
right directly above us was like thisbig ancient looking vulture right above our heads

(45:43):
the whole time on the phone poleor what a power pole, and he's
just huge and he took his wingsand wow and then oh my god,
he was right there above our heads. So they have a special place in
our are and we just loved thegaze at them and appreciate their process of

(46:04):
cleaning up the earth and just thatwhole process of the integration into this death
ritual. And it's kind of scary, yeah, because it's terrified the deepest
fear. Yeah, right now,right right, I'm dead. We came
back to the place the second dream. It every most of the folks were

(46:25):
walking around the second day when wegot back because we missed the second night.
We get back and people are kindof like, not everybody, but
some of them were like walking aroundlike, my god, I don't know
what happened. What did I do? And they were like you can tell
they touched they looked behind the veil. I had that the first night of

(46:49):
first night. I think I wasthe only one. I just right of
like everybody's oh, I saw somecolors and everybody sharing their stories. Yea,
Oh it was beautiful. I'm like, oh god, I went I
went through a death initiation, shamanicdeath, you know. And I'm the
only one that kind of shared that, and some of the leaders kind of
shared it to which was cool.But the second night when we came back,

(47:15):
they had all had that, likealmost everybody had that encounter the second
night. Yeah, I'm gonna gothat's common. Yeah, that second night,
because the first night you're kind ofgetting warmed up, getting your feet
wet, you know. That thatsecond night, it's like you're going deep
what they did. And we couldtell their face and people, you know,

(47:36):
they're like they're they're questioning, youknow, what what did I do?
And there's that fear, and Ithink we had it, but it's
it's all you know, you youshould have it, you should think about
it. It's a healthy fear,but you have to you know, come
to a reality. So we wereable to kind of help coach people from
that perspective, like, Okay,we gotta we gotta help, you know,

(47:57):
we gotta just what we do andwe're just really tell people just what
we've been saying like the things thatcan die should die. You are eternal.
Your spirit is eternal. Nothing nothinggave it to you, so nothing
can take it away. Exactly.My god, my soul. You know,
you know you went through it likeall of these yea to you.
Oh yeah, oh my god,the shaman owns my soul now, oh

(48:19):
my god. Whatever you think ofall of it. But listen, it's
healthy. It's scary, but it'shealthy to go through so that you know
what you believe and you know,like, okay, if he did not
what not what I did? Right? No, and you know we got
to go through that, and we'restill asking those questions, I guess,
but oh yeah, and that isthe integration, is to continually ask those

(48:43):
questions. I couldn't agree more.Brother. I was also going to say
too, like I'm sure you guysfelt this too. But every retreat I
went to, it was like,there's kind of like this awkward you're kind
of getting to know people for thefirst time right when you get there.
By the edge of the weekend,it's like, y'all, I've known each
other for decades or lifetives. It'slike everyone's family. It's like you want

(49:07):
to work together it's like there's noshape or like you know, complete acceptance,
no judgment, you know, justunconditional love, dude, like I've
never seen in my life. Islike, you know, some of the
feelings I had being there by theend of the weekend and to see like
the shift from you know, seeingpeople just get there and where they were

(49:28):
at to see that everybody smile onand just full of love and tears of
joy, and yeah, man,it's powerful. Yeah man, it's so
good just to appreciate the journey andthe healing anyway it comes. And that's
where we're at, you know,like we try to put our you know,
all of your eggs in one basketand thinking that you know, your

(49:52):
religion or Christianity is the one placeeverybody needs to go to get healing and
listen to Christianity is an amazing placeto go to get healing. Place set
and setting right. Would you becomea zealous until you find that same healing,
if not greater, in a differentreligion or a different holy book or

(50:13):
a movie yes, or inside ofa magic mushroom, you know, or
in forgiveness or whatever. So tochampion that process of doing the work.
The shadow work the healing. It'sso fun that everywhere you look like there's
opportunities to heal and to forgive andto love, you know, So that's

(50:39):
I think everybody who's on that journey. You know, you may not know
that you're if you're there, thatyou're there yet that it's you. You
just champion the healing no matter howit comes right. Such a beautiful honor
to be ministers of such and tobe partakers of such as well, totally
man like, it broke down alot of walls for me, Like both

(51:02):
of my journeys were different, andit was like how they built off each
other, and it was like justworking through layers of conditioning I had on
so many levels. And I feltthat with you too, bit because I
know you've got a lot of hateand you know, some more fundamentalist Christian
circles, and you know, I'vealways respected how you carried yourself amongst all

(51:25):
that, and like, you know, always always showing love and like just
being yourself, being true to you. And you know, I think you
weren't afraid to expand on some ofthe symbolic meanings, like the deeper mysteries
within Christianity where I think the goldis, you know, I think,

(51:45):
and you can find that in somany traditions, if not all traditions,
you know, I think there's many. There's many roads to the same place,
Like they're all arrows to the sametruth, you know, like if
you can dig and find the goldwithin it, I think every religo religion
can become what people damn about Christianityand say, like how judgmental fundamentalist Christians

(52:09):
are, Like there's idolatry within Buddhism. Man, Like I just visited a
Buddhist temple today and like I wasthe oldly white guy there, Like I
felt super out of place. LikeI think that, like you can become
like a strictly literalist of any tradition, like to where you're judging anyone that

(52:32):
doesn't agree with your set of beliefs. And I heard it stated recently like
like within just like the settling ofthis country, like with the Pilgrims,
like there was two factions, Likethere was a side that was you know,
more reckless and into drinking alcohol andyou know talking about Christianity, uh

(52:55):
and more open to different way ofthinking. And then on the opposing side
of that was this like puritan like, uh, running is of the devil,
you must speedwalk like it was likeall this like if you don't agree
with exactly the way I see theworld or like the exact beliefs I have,

(53:16):
you're the devil, You're Satan,Like it's like this black and white
like that's just not you know,that can be damning in any religion or
any walk of life, you know, any master discipline. You know,
it's outside of religion even you know, yeah, once you figure that out,

(53:37):
you know, you've you've it's alevel of initiation, that is a
freedom to to know, and somepeople never get there. But it's so
beautiful. I did a podcast coupleof months ago and the lady was you
know, she she was a Christian, but she was easily to attack.

(54:00):
You know, Christianity is the badguy and all of the ones in the
church, and it's the people inthe church who are doing it. It's
the church because that's where you're from. Right, You've been a Muslim and
gone to mosque and the same ofthe age is in the mosque. It's
in the Buddhist people. Like onceyou talk to these people who are awake,

(54:21):
who are sitting or kneeling next topeople who aren't. Then you see,
hold on, there's something that we'renot the same. And the beauty
is that that you'll find in yourawakening is that you will have more You
as a Christian, may have morein common with the Buddhists than you have
with the person sitting on the pewnext to you. You can see that

(54:44):
and acknowledge that. Then you seehow big God's hand and God's love really
is. That you know because somebodyis of the same denomination spirit, And
once you wake up to that,you know, and you're not just a
right wing you know, or wingor whatever, and come on, the

(55:07):
truth is and you just have youhave decide with the right. If your
right wing, you can't call bs, you can't say hello, why are
we doing this? This isn't right. You have to follow a hook line
and sinker, when in reality youcan look on the left and be like,
man, we got so much incommon. I love the way they

(55:27):
do this with money and they shareand you can't even you can't even mouth
that. And that's the same waywith extremism and making people's zealots with any
religion. So it's it's not onereligion, and it's not Christians. It's
so easy to point the escapegoat oreasy target. It's people anywhere. There's

(55:49):
exactly they're going to find a wayto manipulate in milk a system. If
it's the political system that they getin, they're going to find a way
to abuse it. If it's Christyand they're flock flocking a herd or fleece
of gullible people, they're going tofind a way to abuse them and shake
the last dollar out of them andnot care anything about their spiritual well being.

(56:14):
But at the same time, there'llbe those in there who are legit
pastors that freaking will give you theirlast dollar there. They'll stay up late
with you and pray with you,and come visit you in the in the
hospitals, and and and there's there'spolitical people in office who will do that

(56:34):
too, other people who don't givea damn about you in both And once
you realize that, you'll know thatnone of this plastic stuff on the outside
your card that you're carrying, doesn'tyou know, doesn't qualify you as a
Christian or as a Muslim or anything. It's the condition of the quality of
the heart. Yeah, it's likehow do you treat people. It's not
like all these titles you wear,or like what political party you are,

(56:58):
what religion you are, It's likehow do you treat other human beings?
Like what kind of person are you? How do you treat yourself? Yeah?
So true. Any comments on thataired or you want to add anything,
I just totally agree. I mean, she says pirstuality everywhere you look

(57:22):
is always going to be positive andnegative, and you just have to try
to amplify and increase the positive,right and salute the negative because you enjoy
the positive just as much. Exactlypositive. Yeah, transmute the negative into
positive. Like you have to workthrough it. You can't bypass it and

(57:44):
you know, dismiss it. Youhave to acknowledge it and work through it.
Learn to be patient with it,and you know, work through your
triggers with it. I think weall have our struggles of varying kinds.
But that's the work, and Ithink that's that's the daily ceremony we're taking
part in, like we are themedicine, like every day of our lives,

(58:06):
like living out the ceremony after youknow, the ceremony with plant medicine,
Like I think it's all allegorical toour daily life, and that's what
we're shown in the ceremony itself,is like is this the loop of the
rest of your life in front ofyou? Like this pain and suffering,
like it's never gonna change. Mylife is terrible, like all the lies

(58:28):
we tell ourselves or we gotta belike I'm gonna choose something different this side,
but I'm gonna rise above this andmake some shifts. And you know,
IA for me was what really inspiredme to start this podcast, Like
I was waiting for so long toyou know, this group of friends will

(58:50):
do it with me, or likewe've been talking about it for so long,
like and things would never line up. And then after I came out
of Ayah, it was like whatam I waiting for? Like speak your
truth, It's time to use yourvoice, like you've been wanting to do
this for so long, do thedamn thing. Let's stop with you,
like you got a pode, likeyou can do this, but that there's

(59:13):
no excuse for nothing. There's noexcuse for you to be broke, there's
no excuse for you not to haveman, it's no people making millions of
dollars pointing that thing and just startingto talk. Man, you know,
if you never dreams you have,you can create it with just with that
program saw with that possibility, peopleuse it for evil. It's a black
mirror, man. You can justget into it and do whatever, make

(59:37):
whatever you want come out of it, put whatever you want in it.
So, knowing we have that abilityand power, let's let's use it for
good. Let's put some good init and agree more. Dude. Yeah,
uh speaking of that, Like Iwanted to get into what obviously I
know this ceremony was super impactful onboth of you and your relationship, and

(01:00:02):
this amazing song that like really touchedmy heart and really made me see like
what a shift in Aaron this had. That she came out and used her
voice the way she did with suchpower and reverence, like my god like
beautiful song guys. So, likeI just wanted to talk about how that
came about and like the inspiration behindit, like the day you wrote it,

(01:00:27):
like how that all happened. Well, actually it was one of the
icaros that they sang during this WowOkay, So but when we got home,
it was so impactful and powerful forus that we tried to look it
up and nobody was singing it thatthe way that they did, Like all
of the versions you could find theywere like sped up really fast with the

(01:00:50):
high tempo and right. It justdidn't feel like that's how it was meant
to be encountered. So it wasso powerful for us we wanted to cover
it, kind of make it ourown. And it's funny, like one
of the messages I got during ceremonytoo, was I kind of set an
intention to go in and ask Mama, what what are my gifts? And

(01:01:13):
can you help me amplify my gifts? And that was the message I got
is your words are your gifts.So I just had to start opening my
mouth more, which means, youknow, I've never really been comfortable on
video or hearing my voice on arecording. Yeah, that takes a little
bit to get over, you know, but God can use that, and

(01:01:37):
yeah, I just started being willingto try really and we're getting a lot
of really great testimonies about the songthat it's helping people and healing people and
touching people's hearts and it's really amazing. Yeah, I've been doing music prog
twenty years and she's never gotten ona song with me, never tride,

(01:02:00):
right, that's what I thought.Different, Yeah, that's the twenty years
is like, let's try, andshe's like, Okay, I'm cool.
I'm willing to try. And she'sstill willing to try. We're experimenting,
seeing what we can do, andgot all ideas and just jumping in the
studio and seeing what we can comeup with. And uh yeah, but
that one, that one worked outamazing and it was held a beautiful place

(01:02:23):
in our heart and it was ahealing song for us for sure. Yeah.
And other people are getting healed bylistening to it and have the same
testimonies and crying and can't get itout there head it's stuck in their head.
Oh, it's stuck it by dish. We just we walk around the
houses with these melodies stuck in ourhead and stuff. Man. Beautiful though,

(01:02:45):
right, Such a healing song.Yeah, just so powerful, And
I think it's just breaking stigmas,like that song is breaking major stigmas in
our culture. I think we're stillunwiring, but think things are coming out
the play now, you know.I think we are living through the apocalypse.
You know that word just means thegreat revealing things are being revealed and

(01:03:07):
they can't be put back in thebottle, Like we can't run from it
anymore. Like we need these healingmedicines to like, you know, alter
the path of the basses where we'reheadache, Like we need to heal as
a collective, and I think theseare part of that work. And uh
yeah, dude, it just makesme think of all the ekeros that touch

(01:03:29):
my heart and ceremony and like justthe feeling of playing those songs later,
just like any music you hear growingup, but it's like another level of
that of like the nostalgia you feelof like taking you back to that part
of the ceremony. Spooky too,right, Oh yeah, So I'm like,

(01:03:49):
oh yeah, man, everything isokay, Everything is okay. A
yeah wesca Oh oh my god,okay man right, oh yeah, oh
man, stop saying that. Ohyeah. Like, I mean that's the
beauty of music in general, though, to be able to be like a
time machine. And I've always saidthat it can bring you back to you

(01:04:11):
can feel, you know, thefeelings and memories that you forgot about.
Yeah, Like I always talk abouthow there's certain like old country songs and
stuff that take me back to ridingin the back seat of the car where
my mom driving and we're going tothe beach or going to the creek to
go swim in these little you know, memories that just come to you and
stuff, and and my music hasbecome that for people. And now our

(01:04:35):
music has become that, you know, that place of healing and it's something
beautiful you know, and be thesoundtrack for somebody's awakening. Yeah, so
you did end up getting to performthen, like while you were there?
Uh out or is that what happened? Yeah? It was amazing, Like

(01:04:56):
so the last the last night,I guess it was. We so the
fourth night we did the concert andit was out outside under the trees on
the same place that we went weuh did the retreat on and they this
place they have it's so like thewhole places of ritual, man, Like

(01:05:21):
that's it's so crazy too. Likeif you know ritual, like the ritual
begins, probably jump on the phonewith the person and you're talking, like
the questions that are asked, thecertain things are placed in certain places on
the property that you see coming upyou know that's going to come to you

(01:05:42):
later, Like they're they're definitely studentsof their craft. And uh, that
was it was so beautiful. Sothat place is a rescue for unwanted and
forgotten animals and abuse that so it'sessentially like they have like a farm,
magical farms, is that what it'scalled, or some magical animal reserve,

(01:06:08):
animal rescue, animal rescue, Idon't remember. They have all the different
animals. They have zebra, theyhave pig, They got all kinds of
stuff that's amazing. All of themwere unwanted, like animals that were abandoned
and fell out of a truck andthey're hurt and they're like somebody can come
get them and stuff, and theyget them and nurse them back to health.

(01:06:29):
And all of these rejected and unwantedthings end up finding their way to
this property to find healing. Wow. Uh yeah, that whole place is
was was a ritual and I couldgo on for days and days just to
talk about the things that stood outto me as one who's trying to pay

(01:06:50):
attention of those little things that Isaw that I nerd out over and I
probably still miss so much. Youknow that that was there if if I
was the only one making the connection, who knows. With that being said,
there were animals and there were deerwalking around. There was one video

(01:07:13):
that I shared when I was rapping, and I did like a TikToker was
like, hey man, I've gotthe I've got a great fan base,
I've got people all walks of life. And there was this little deer walking
across while I'm like, what theheck is that in these little dogs fighting
each other in the middle. Idon't know it was. It was beautiful.

(01:07:36):
They I felt like they you know, I grow with my lyrics.
It's a magical thing where like Iwrite them one way, but I get
to experience them at a deeper levellater. Yeah, I know what you
mean. I read poetry and Ifeel that too, and uh and so
as I'm able to I'm wrapping someof the lyrics. They're like making sense

(01:08:00):
or the retreat, you know,and I could say with more emphasis and
share it with the people that I'vebeen talking to. And I know we've
had to talk about aliens or something, and I'm at a part of the
verse one I'm talking about the aliensand coming to whatever they're like everybody's like
they get it right and hear itjust because not just the words, but

(01:08:23):
stylistically it's a little bit faster,but they still picked up the message and
responded in these not much lines,but they're deeper soul lines. I was
like, oh yeah, man,totally the shaman's drumming in the forest and
riding the back of dragon and sendingthe macaba, and like, it was

(01:08:43):
so beautiful to share that at theend of the retreat and to do the
song that they do anyway that theylistened to. I got to perform it
live and share that moment with them, and it was just so beautiful.
Man. It's such a dream cometrue, if you will. That's amazing
man too. Like and how howyou were brought there, like by your

(01:09:06):
music, which is just so ironicbecause I think it just speaks to your
music band and like how many peoplelike that that your music has touched man,
Like and just the meaning in thoselyrics and you know, the the
beats to go with it and howthey just come together and like it.

(01:09:27):
I think you were seeing akeros likein different ways, you know, like
it is medicine music, like andI know you know, uh, Naco
is a big influence of mine andmedicine for the people, and you know,
knowing you were in their music videoone of their big first hits.

(01:09:48):
Like, that's pretty wild to beand like how I found you synchronistically after
I found Naco, and like howit all ties together. But yeah,
I can't say enough about your music, man, And I can't imagine what
a powerful experience that must have beenfor it all to come together like that
and to like perform it to endit all off. Yeah, I'm sure

(01:10:11):
you felt all those lyrics, liketo your very core, like as you
were sacred of the night. Itwas fun. And you know, I've
had I've had a crazy three yearsand we all have. But I had,
I don't know what you call it. We had a near death experience
a couple of years ago, andthen after that it was like just rebirth

(01:10:32):
that kind of happened for us,and diet changed and health wise and stuff
like that. I lost sixty pounds. Wow, Yeah, you live great,
bro, I think I could.Yeah, I haven't been in the
gym much, but my diet isstill you know, it's still better.
But it was the first time performingwith sixty without sixty pounds on you,

(01:10:58):
and it was like I was.It was awesome because I was able to
not get winded all right, right, able to wrap and be able to
do these long tongue twisters and stuff, and still like I got more How
do I still have more breath?And that didn't but I know that I'm
usually out of breath by this partand to sneak a breath in to keep

(01:11:19):
going. But it was interesting toobecause it was it was a lot more
fun. It's a lot less youknow, dead weight on me if you
will. Yeah, it was amazing. That's amazing, brother. So that
that was from a near death experience. What prompted that lifestyle shift as far
as eating healthier and all that,well, it was I think we started

(01:11:42):
a little bit before, a coupleof months before. We started a couple
of months before, and so whenit was a shift, we had already
like positioned ourselves to start eating better, start going to the gym and stuff.
So we're already starting to start tofeel better. But it was like
it was a physical thing. Mmhmm. You don't want my physical body

(01:12:04):
because I don't. I don't Iwant to be able to look at look
at myself in the mirror and beproud of myself and not be ashamed of
how I look or whatever. It'snot just physical or whatever. It's like,
man, I look at myself.I'm a pig. I let myself
go. I can't stand and lookat myself from that angle. These thoughts
that are coming to you to dosomething about it and to get your health

(01:12:25):
in check. We started that wayand then we had this near death experience
and then it was like not justbody, but then like mind and spirit
came a little bit later. Ifyou will to be for me two,
I think, just to position ourselvesfor the changing of seasons and stuff,

(01:12:45):
what we're privy to in the cyclesthat come to carry and and I experienced
it wide open, like spiritual renewal, baptism of heavenly kind, if you
will, through that whole, likejust being remade over. And it was
definitely a spiritual thing. And Iwent through that for maybe a year or

(01:13:10):
something like that, and then herscame in December. She experienced it in
December. I think that's huge too, of like already like watching what you're
eating and you know, being moreconscious of what you're taking in in that
way, even leading up to theceremony, like they always tell you got
to follow the dieta you know,and watch what you're consuming, you know,

(01:13:35):
don't have sex for this long,like don't you know, consume salts
and sugars and even like horror moviesand like sense like like you guys were
talking about the TV how that waseven like too much, like come it
out, And I can't imagine Irelate to that too, Like I could
imagine how that would feel, likethat's the last thing you'd want to see

(01:13:58):
coming out of ceremony. So yeah, I haven't. I haven't seen that
movie. Uh what was it calledabout Midsommer or whatever? Have you seen
Midsummer Stream or whatever? I haven'tseen it. I know what you're talking
about. Okay, well good,well let's we don't need to talk about
it. I haven't seen it,but I know the I know, I
kind of know the plot, uhhuh, And so like you know,

(01:14:19):
when it was going on, likeoh my god, I think this is
happening, you know, And Ifelt like that during the ceremony the movie,
but I know the plot, youknow, kind of thing you felt
like the movie was playing out inceremony, is what you're saying. I
felt like, uh, like,this is the end, like they got
you. Oh shit, Yeah noI felt that too, brother, like

(01:14:42):
completely, so you messed up.You know, you have to fight those
thoughts. But he did any that'sall. And I was the only one
that was dealing with that, youknow, at the very end of it,
and I had to fight it.And it was it was like the
fight came at the end, youknow. You I'm used to that fight,
a similar fight anyway. I'll saythat was like my first psilocybin journey,

(01:15:08):
which that fight came at the beginning, like okay, you're poisoned.
You ain't the wrong kind, rightright? You know, Oh my god,
the paranoia stuff one now and arethey going to be able to save
me kind of thing. It's likeno, So you're okay, You're okay,
You're okay, trying to get throughit and you have to beg hold
on, submit. You bought theticket, ride the ride, let's go

(01:15:30):
exactly. You're in for the longhaul. There's no refunds, Like what's
your what's your head? I'm notused to that at the end of the
experience in a way, right becauseit was literally like the it was almost
like it was starting all over againin the sense like you thought it was
almost over and you're like, ohthat at the end, Like ayahuasca itself,

(01:15:54):
was like she did her things,She does what she does, and
it leaves it up to her theshamans because they know what to do to
keep that potency. But to seethe death in the decay which was hidden
in ritualistic, nuanced ways that Isaw paying attention to the detail right,

(01:16:16):
you know, from from A toZ. They're amazing at what they do,
and they did it and it worked. And yeah, I was confronted
with death and one of the biggestthings we're all trying to avoid. And
I had what if? What if? This is? What if you this
is your last? I was laidout on the ground, man, I

(01:16:41):
was I control of my lot fellout and yeah, and uh, it
was just that I felt the warfor my soul and spirit. I really
did. But they they took careof me and you know, cleanse me
and got that stuff off of me. Uh. Yeah, they were can
really good at what they do,and it gives us a new appreciation and

(01:17:06):
a deeper level for what we dowith energy and with spirits, working with
spirits and cleaning and cleansing negative energyand what to do with it. Yeah,
if we take it in, howdo we get it off of us?
All of this stuff, So students, you know of this stuff,
and uh, this is what wedo. So it was all of it

(01:17:28):
was. Every day is a learningexperience. But that was definitely a huge
one and we're still learning. AndI think tomorrow we're interviewing them, the
two chamans that run the place.Uh, so I'm gonna have a lot
more questions. I just don't knowif I said on off air that's the
thing, you know. Yeah,we can't look forward to listen to that

(01:17:49):
one. Yeah. Good, Yeah, I really enjoyed those guys. I
hope I didn't take it too lightlylike I wanted to go deep with you
guys. But I like laughing aboutthings too. So I've really enjoyed my
time with y'all. Anything we didn'tcover, you'd like to hit on as

(01:18:11):
we get towards the end here.No, I think that covered most of
it for me, well except onething. So I had heard and read
a little bit like when you'd gothrough ayahuasca ceremony. Anything that doesn't serve

(01:18:31):
you at the highest vibration that youare kind of will make major life shift
happen. So when I came home, I think I felt it before,
maybe a little bit, but reallywhen I came home from the retreat and
I went back to work, yeah, this strong feeling I'm not supposed to
be here anymore. And I lovemy job, like this was a job,

(01:18:56):
very passionate. I run the place, found my spiritual mentor there like.
But when I showed up the veryfirst day, I just knew I
wasn't supposed to be there anymore.Right, So that was a little bit
of a strange struggle and shift forme. And I had my last day
out there last week, so thankyou. And that transition was hard because

(01:19:23):
whenever you're whenever you're at your trueitself, always something bad is going to
rear its head, because I mean, when you're at the highest vibration,
the low vibration tries to bring itdown a little bit. It's just the
way it works. I dealt withsome really weird stuff and that's always been

(01:19:44):
my happy place, like no drama, perfect, any beautiful place of healing.
And I didn't let it. Ididn't let those things change that for
me. But I was surprised thatthat shift happened for me. It was
not something I expected. But Ihad total peace about it. And now
I'm here helping with ministry and inhis admin stuff that he needs full time.

(01:20:12):
I love that power couple, guys, big big deal. I think
that's I think that's underestimated too.Is like, you know, when you
have this major shakeup in your life, for this major rebirth or like finding
yourself again for the first time,it feels like and then you come back
and like everyone's still the same asyou left them, like your your home

(01:20:34):
life is still the same. Andyou get back and they're like, who
is this person like? And peoplecan't relate to you. So that's when
the integration is hard, Like it'sthe most challenging, and it's easy to
fall back into old patterns and behaviorsbecause no one else has changed. But
you all of a sudden have thisshift and you're like, well, I

(01:20:57):
have two choices here, like Icould go back to the way they were,
or I can try to integrate thebalance here and you know, try
to integrate these newfound lessons into thisenvironment that I had left before and hopefully
to inspire others to you know,maybe you should try this, Maybe you
should look into this, maybe youshould start this new job, or you

(01:21:19):
know, whatever you're running from,maybe you should face it. You know.
Yeah, it's tough whenever you've beenlike a new person, like you
said, and all the people youlove are just the same. Yeah,
I know exactly what you mean.It's I think you hear that a lot,
like people that come back home andthey're like, Okay, I'm totally

(01:21:40):
not in the right career right now, or you know, I'm totally not
in the right relationship, or Itotally need to call my mom and tell
her I love her, or youknow, my dad that I haven't talked
to in six years, like whateverit may be. Like just you know,
making those bridges where you burned themin the past us and just finding

(01:22:01):
finding that love again and just yeah, I I totally relate to both of
y'all. And I'm so fucking excusemy language. I'm so happy for y'all
and excited to see what the futureholds. And I'm thankful for the beautiful
humans that you guys are, andyou know, the way you shine shine

(01:22:28):
light for others that are still inthe dark and to help them along to
not be afraid to come out andplay again. Yeah. Man, the
feeling is mutual. So likewise,you know, there's there's a lot of
what's out here there, there's there'sbecoming more yes, let's it is becoming
a lot more brighter. Yes.All the work that everyone is doing to

(01:22:51):
bear the light, even if it'sjust a little bit, it's definitely making
a huge difference. We're in storefor some really amazing times. Totally.
I believe that never forget a singlecandle lights up a room full of darkness.
That was an Epiphanye I had inthe past. I'll never forget it.

(01:23:12):
The flame that's us. Yes,I love that book, by the
way. Yeah, any last words, guys, any retreats coming up or
events you want to plug one lasttime where they can find you. Yeah,
we will have some retreats. We'rein talks about some locations right now,
going up a little bit further north. But nothing on the books right

(01:23:34):
now. We're just working hard developingcurriculum and stuff to try to embody and
make this really deep stuff simple andapplicable. We can talk about it about
how do we teach it in practicalsteps. So that's really been what we're
both diving into to teach the sciencebehind it, biblical stuff, ancient mysteries,

(01:24:01):
all of it, bringing it sothat it's applicable for you know,
anybody can do it. So that'swhat we've been diving into. We have
a we have an online school,and that's really for that in our community.
Seer dot School is our our website, and that's just that's heat of
the majority of our our our focusand our time is how we can take

(01:24:25):
these principles and just you know whatI'm saying, make them repeatable if you
will. The lesson that we've learned, Like everybody doesn't have to go do
ayahuasca, right, somebody who's who'sdone it, and you can help them
integrate the healing into their life.I think that that's what it's about.
And uh yeah, that's all prayerwell, and we want to be able

(01:24:45):
to do that with everything that we'recreating, music, meditations, curriculum,
conferences, all that fun stuff.Man, So they can check everything out
at either true seka dot com orseer dot School. Beautiful. Well,
thank you so much much, guys. I've really enjoyed this one. You're
welcome back anytime. I thank youall for listening out there. I hope

(01:25:06):
you gained something from this conversation.I send you all peace and love.
I hope you all have a beautifulrest the week. Thanks for listening,
peace, peace, Well. Theimportance of it is this that to know
that you are God is another wayof saying that you feel completely with this

(01:25:26):
universe. You feel profoundly rooted init and connected with you. You feel,
in other words, that the wholeenergy which expresses itself in the galaxies
is intimate. It is not somethingto which you are a stranger, but
it is that with which you andwhatever that is are intimately bound up.

(01:25:47):
You express that which it is whichmoves the sound and other stores everything.
I am marthing, I am earthing. I am, I am, I

(01:26:10):
am, I am, i'm aneverything, I am everything, do everything.
I am I'm an everything. Iam earthing, I am earthing,

(01:26:32):
I am I am, I am, i'm an everthing, I am everything,
do everything. I am. Iam the healing that comes from God.
I am the hero, the villain, and now am the man that's
lefting no devotee of meny before thefall. I'm in the calm before the

(01:26:58):
storm, the soul before the Oh, I am the child with that's stressed
on. He can't explain the scenewith a song. That the joking,
that's all the promising. I'm onthe call, hang under the prayer,
from under the show. You neversit up here from me, Madnie.
You're rid of by villain hanging religion. My primitive city. Remember we got
as a memory hand the blending.Now can see how you am the slavey
specifically, I feel deficult. Iwant to help me. I am you

(01:27:21):
win. I am me, andnow hold a mystery, a secrecy,
your frequency. You're sitting one cavalry. That's how I make my alcoemy.
I am mine. I am,I'm an everything, I am everything,

(01:27:42):
I am earthing. I am Iam, i'm an everything. I am
everything. I'm an everything. Iam