Baby Poo

Yup I did it! #ashsaidit

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ash-brown-uncensored--4468177/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
What it is, Sabora, it's your girl, Ash Brown, and
this is Ashbrown Uncensored. On this program, I talk a
little bit about everything and maybe pop culture related, but
it's probably Ash Brown related, So you gotta stay to
'em to see what I'm going to talk about. I
am going to talk about how responsible a four year

(00:26):
old can be, okay, And when I talk about four
year old'm talking about four year old me. Kay. And
I've talked previously about my mom and her pregnancies and
how all three of us were very different pregnancies. I
was late, my brother was on time, and my baby

(00:47):
sister was early, so it we all just had different
type of birthing situations, very different pregnancies for her, very different,
and so me coming late. I I was a difficult

(01:09):
infant for maybe a multitude of reasons. My mom always
said like she was a nervous mom, and maybe I
had sensed that energy and just was fussy for no reason.
I don't even know how it's about the first nine months,
because according to them, I did nothing but cry. I
did not eat, I did not sleep. I just cried

(01:31):
the whole time, which I find it hard to believe,
but it is what it is. You know, I don't
really remember that part of my life, but very fussy
baby and very picky baby. I did not take the
breast milk. They tried all kinds of milks on me,
soy milks, goat's milk, all of the milks that you

(01:54):
can think of, until they finally found a formula that
I would take. So from that point up until four,
I was a very very picky eater, very very very
picky eater. Not so much anymore, I'm pretty much you know,
you put in it there in front of me, and
you know, dress it up nice and make it flavors

(02:15):
and aromas are going through, and I'm gonna probably tear
it up. But I was a very picky eater those early,
early early years. And so when my brother came along,
he is the complete polar opposite of me. As far
as being a baby. He was a quiet baby. I'm

(02:37):
sure my parents were concerned about, Okay, we're gonna have
another crying, blazing baby that's gonna be like just completely
relentless and not gonna let us sleep. He was the
complete polar opposite. The only time he really cried or
fuss was when he was hungry. He didn't like being
changed like most babies, but he was a pretty chill

(03:00):
baby for the most part. I don't even recall him
really even crying, and with that just out the world,
like even coming out. I mean, my mom would joke
and she would say, like the hospital was charging her
my dad extra because he was drinking so much formula

(03:21):
and that insatiable appetite did not stop. She was like,
there's no way I can breastfeed this kid. You know,
he's kind of sucked me dry. So they started feeding
him formulas and stuff, and the formula was not fully
satisfying him. So then my grandmother had the idea, well,

(03:43):
I don't was starting them off on solid foods, and
you know, so at a very early age he was
having solid food and I'm not saying like you know,
they were given him like actual chicken legs or pettita
and things of that nature. My grandmother was very strategic

(04:04):
in it because she knew that this fool at had
no teeth, right, so whatever she gives him, whatever she
makes him, she's got to make sure that it's blended,
and it's blended to that consistency where he can actually
consume it. Safely. So she started cooking food, and I'm
talking about like real Caribbean food. She started giving him porridge.

(04:27):
She would have cook food, like maybe she made soup
that day, and she had chicken and beef and things
of that nature. And she would have this cute little blender.
I don't even know where she got that from or whatever.
Maybe people were making kids foods or whatever that time,
but she had this cute little blender that she would
put like the potatoes, the chicken, vegetables and stuff in there,

(04:51):
and she would blend it up to the consistency of
like apple sauce for him. And she would come maybe
like once a week. It wasn't like every day, but
she was coming like once a week with this giant box,
this giant cardboard box of all her pots and all
her containers that she had just cooked food at her house.

(05:14):
So she come to our house and as soon as
she come through the door with the box, Kyle would
just jump up. Oh my god, He's so excited because
he know he about to eat eat, and not only
is he about to eat, he's about to eat great.
So he would jump up, He's so excited, and he
would follow her to the kitchen, follow her to the kitchen,

(05:34):
and immediately he would start fussing because he wanted food. Now.
He want to eat right here, right now. He want
that food. Cook eat, we want it set up. And
she would be like just kind of comment to him, Kyle,
you have to calm down, you know, Grandma house to
you know, she's she's gotta prepare your food for you.
She's gonna, you know, because at that point, the food

(05:55):
wasn't blended, and she wanted him to have freshly blended food.
And so she would take out the container, should take
out the blender, should take out the food. And he's still,
he's fussing, he's crying, tears, you guys, streaming down his face.
You would have thought that the kid was being tortured, okay.
And she would take out the food and she would,

(06:17):
you know, put it in the little portions or whatever,
put it in a little blender, and then she would
blend it. And even if she's blending, he's jumping, he's fussing,
he's crying, and she's blending it up. She's playing. She's like, ky,
hold on, you know, just chill, you know, I'm gonna
get this set up for you, and so soon she's
finished blending in and stuff. He's fussing because he wants
his food. He wants his fix, and so she would,

(06:44):
you know, pull it off the blender and stuffing. He's fussing,
and she's like, Kyle, just calm down and then put
him in his high chair. And he is still fussing, okay,
because he wants his food now. And she's said, Kyle,
just hold on. It's very hot, and you don't care.
He want his food. And then she said, okay, all right,
So she would get like a little spoon of it,

(07:05):
and she'd blown in and blow it and trying to
cool it before she give it to him because it's
very hot. Seal like this food is fresh off of
her stove. Okay, so the pots and everything, it's hot,
and she had blown and try to cool it, cool
it cool, and just to kind of simmer him down.
She'll give him a mouthful of it and you get
it and immediately because the food is hot still all right,

(07:30):
and she's like, I told you that it was hot.
You couldn't wait, and you wanted this food, so now
you got it. It's hot. You see how hot it is.
But when I tell you that baby enjoyed some food.
That baby enjoyed some food. Okay, I kid you not.
I remember that to a tea as if it is

(07:50):
happened in front of me right now. So keeping that
in mind, this baby because he wasn't even a year old.
He wasn't even year old. He may have cut like
a tooth or two maybe, but he wasn't. He wasn't
a year old yet. And I was kind of given

(08:13):
the task as far as I because his pooh, like
I said, if he's eating solid food, y'all, that pooh
was coming out pretty solid, pretty solid, Like honestly, pamper
should not even be supporting the amount of pooh that
he would have when he was done. Right. So I
was mommy's little helper, and she would change him and

(08:38):
she would be like, hey, you know, she would give
me like his poo pampers and she would be like, hey,
flush this down the toilet, you know, and then you know,
roll it up and put it in the little plastic
bag that we have set up for it. I said, okay,
And so understand I'm a little girl. I'm a bit squeamish.
I am not loving the idea of taking poo to

(09:01):
a toilet to flush it. That is not my idea
of a great time. And I am just like in
my mind, I'm just like, I just don't want it
to touch me. I don't want it to touch me.
I don't want it to touch me. And so with
my little four year old hands, I take this pampers
to the bathroom, but I'm trying my best not to

(09:21):
touch the poo. And as I'm gravitating into into the bathroom,
I lose balance at some point and the pool rolls
off of the pampers onto the floor right in front
of the toilet, right and I'm just like, I'm like

(09:42):
having a mini panic attack because I'm like, I am
not touching this pool with my hands, not doing it. Nope,
can't make me do it. So I get this genius
idea to move the bathroom matt that was under the

(10:04):
toilet to essentially cover the pool, and I used the
pampers to kind of move the pool because I wasn't
using my hands. I was like that that is not happening,
and essentially smashed the pool under the bathroom mat and

(10:28):
flushed the toilet, pretending that I actually flushed the pool
and went back and you know, went on my wife
like everything was cool. It was cool, and I knew
that it was wrong, and I knew that I should
have said something to someone, but in that moment, I
just like panicked. I completely panicked, and I just remember

(10:50):
being like, I don't I'm not touching this. I need
to understand. Like I tried to coordinate and use the
pampers to pick it up, and it just wasn't working
for me. So in that moment, I chose to cover
it up. So maybe like a week or so later,

(11:10):
my mom discovered the pooh under the bath mat and
she's like, hey, what is this? What did you do?
And rather than I explain it, you know, like a
real actual human would it should do, I was just
like I don't know, and she's like, why did you
do this? Why did you Why did you let this happen?

(11:31):
And I was like I don't know, I don't know.
So of course I got a beating for that, rightfully,
so rightfully, so you don't cover up things like that, ash,
But yeah, that baby was. He was potty trained pretty
early because, like I said, his poo was getting absolutely ridiculous.

(11:54):
He was eating solid foods way before most babies would
be eating solid foods. Absolutely it was, and yeah that's
my baby, bro. And baby Sis was another chill baby.
She didn't really fuss at all. She slept a lot.

(12:16):
She slept a lot. My mom even said that she
had to wake her up a couple times just to
make sure this fool was okay. You know, I like,
let me double check on this kid. And she would
literally like sleep the whole day, not wake up to eat.
Wasn't really fussy about panther changes, but was just pretty chill.
I was the only hell raiser baby. I was the

(12:37):
hell racer baby, like and how so many people like,
you know, my dad is pretty a chill, pretty chill person.
So to get him up and talking about you know,
babies and stuff, oh, he remembers, Oh my gosh, she
was a terrible baby, Like, yeah, you don't speak up
against anything else, and now you wanna talk about this, Okay.

(13:02):
So that's a story you guys. I hope that you
had a great, wonderful, fantabulous weekend and that you have
a beautiful, productive, peaceful week ad. If you aren't already
following me at one love ask number one lvee ash
across social media, and of course the asset itself is
twenty one hundred plus shows. That's been crazy, but a blessing,

(13:27):
and I'll high let y'all later. Doces