Episode 50- The Night I Interviewed T-Battle

Livin' life, Aspen Snow Banks, 86'd One Hit Wonders, Unisex Bathrooms, Broke in Vegas

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, there's fifty of us onthat party bus outside and we didn't call
ahead. Are there any tables available? Yes, let me find a special
place in hell we'll set aside foryou. What can I get you drunk?

(00:34):
Welcome to episode fifty of Behind Bars, Cocked Tails and Wasted Nights.
I'm your host, Greg. I'vebeen working as a bartender for over twenty
years, and over those years,I've seen a lot. My goal here
is to share some of those highand low lights with you. Quick warning,
this podcast contains sex, drugs,and some languages. It isn't suitable
for anyone under twenty one years ofage, so you gotta have some.

(00:54):
I D Barbarians Episode fifty. Wow. For this one, my buddy Tea
Battle was unroute from Cobo to Aspenwith the stop in Denver, so I
convinced him the post game at minefor a little interview, and he did
not disappoint. This is a ZMOby the way. It's never Hey,
I'm gonna be in town. Wantto take a night off? No,

(01:15):
it's always like where are you?I'm here now, which is also fine.
It's just that hanging Winster battle resultsin casualties that linger into your next
work day. ZU Before we getstarted, you'll need a drink. For
this one. We'll go with TeaBattle's all time favorite, the rum and
coke. Sure, you can gowith a Captain Morgan or a Sailor Jerry's,
But if you want to emulate thepreferred cocktail of our illustrious guest,

(01:38):
you want the more mixable go withthe flow silver style of rum. I
usually serve from Florida, Kanya orPicardi, depending on where I'm slanging.
Grab a Collins glass and fill withone and a half ounces of silver rum
or two and a half depending onwhat kind of day it was. Add
ice, then top with coke pepsiif you're weird, nothing wrong with weird.
Garnish with the lime wedge if youwant a Cuba libre or Cuba libre

(02:00):
depending on if you save money withcoupons or coupons anyway. T Battle is
an NFL guy, No fucking lineanyways. If you don't have any Rome
or Kola, y'all know what todo. Shout out to quila and some
nose powder for the smell tubes.All right, Barbarians, settle in for
a spell listening to the dulcet tonesof cool Barbarians. Welcome to episode fifty

(02:22):
one. I'm gonna call it fifty. Fifty one was just fifty was an
announcement. So this is gonna befifty for real, and I'm with a
very we're gonna call this fucking thefirst of twenty three, the first of
twenty three. That's Trent. Everybody, Trent, somebody of mine from Aspen.
He's famous for not warning me whenhe's coming down to Denver. He

(02:43):
just says, I'm not coming ina week. I'm not gonna be there.
Are you available? He's just like, Yo, I'm five minutes away
from me, what are you doing? And then my life is ruined for
a week because we hung out fora night. And that's Trent. Memories
are made. Yeah, nothing wrongwith that, No, nothing wrong with
that. Just I just wish Icould remember the memories. One hundred percent

(03:05):
of the shots that you don't take, You suck at life. Trent is
aspen mainstay. Talking about a foundationalperson like it was one of those things
where when I moved there, Imet Jesse the Manimal. White knew Jesse
the Manimal, but he's like introducedme to Trent. If you gotta live
in Aspen, you gotta know aguy, and it's Trent. We've we've

(03:27):
partied our faces off. He's beenthere for a while, he's got stories
for days, and I'm psyched tohave him in the studio of Trent.
It's a pleasure to have you,buddy. Thank you so much for doing
this. You're welcome. So Ialways start off with how'd you get into
it? Buddy? How'd you getinto the fucking bar business? How did
you become a barbarian shit bar restaurantbusiness man? I Battles Barbecue, des

(03:51):
Moines, Iowa. That's what itall started. I grew up ten years
old. My first job in theservice industry. Ten years old, ten
years old? What were you doingscraping plates, making beans and call saw
battles barbecue? Oh man, yeah, so all right, you've been doing
it for a while. Um anything. So you weren't even legal to work

(04:13):
then, were you? Was ita family thing? It was a family
I mean legal. I got paidcash. It was cool. Nice.
Yeah. What'd you buy with yourcash? You're ten years old? The
fireworks about piranhas? Piranhas? Yes? Who did you do with the piranhas.
Well, I mean I put themin tank first. I didn't eat
them. Yeah right. It waslike we had a Orlando's Pizza and a

(04:34):
pet store right next to us,and we traded pizzas and animals. I
want fish that can eat fucking people. Are you a snake person too?
All animals? All animals. Iused to have a pet rattlesnake. Yeah.
Yeah, I can never get intothe fucking the people with pets with
that can kill you. Like,how do you enjoy them? Um?

(04:56):
You watch them eat something else?Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you stay
other way, you take care ofthem. Just you're the hand that feeds
them. You got mutual of Omaha'sWild Kingdom in your house? Um?
I did sometimes, you know,it was pretty sweet. You know,
my to grill with turtles, snakes, dogs, Mom, her family,
They had horses, all kinds ofcool stuff, respect life. Yeah,

(05:20):
animals are cooler than most humans forsure. Oh dude, I'm so with
you on that. I was likea dog person. I still am,
and I'm just like I'll take Iwould always know go to the dog park,
you always know the dog. Youdon't know the person. You went
to the dog park without a dog, no, I would go to the
dog park with dogs. But likeit was weird because I would always hang
out with like senior citizens who wereretired because we're in bartender time, so
we got the days open. Soit's like me and all these old people

(05:43):
with fucking dogs. It was great. I learned a lot of stuff hung
out with like a cameraman, andthe old people do have the knowledge,
dude, they have the knowledge.Sho, They're amazing. Why would you
listen to someone older than you?Hung out with this woman who was a
Ham radio operator in World War Two? I like him. Yeah. Ham's
great. Yeah, Ham's great.I get a Ham sandwich today. Nice.

(06:04):
Yeah, that's pretty good. Pigscute, smart, but delicious.
So it's their own fault, sowork cool. So you left Iowa,
would you do? Like where'd yougo from Iowa? Um? I mean
after I left Iowa, I cameto Colorado, Colorado Aspen first, well,
I mean I before I got toAspen, I saw the sunrise on

(06:28):
the top of Independence Pass Salt andand I told myself, I'm gonna move
here. Yeah, and that's whatI did, top of the rockies.
Independence Pass changed my life. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Um, how
long have you been in Aspen?I don't know. Someone tell me,

(06:48):
He's like, you gotta want tolive in Aspen. You gotta want to
live in that valley. And it'sa special valley. It's a beautiful place.
Hard to live, but if youwant it, you can get it.
You can make it work. Yeah, you're making it work like a
motherfucker. I mean, I knowI'm getting worked. I know that you
have to put in work to makeit work. So you've been there for

(07:09):
time immemorial. Like you've been bartending. You must have seen some crazy shit,
dude, Like, and it's probablygetting crazier as you go. Um,
what was your like, what wasyour trial by fire and askemen?
Where did you start working? Um? My first bartending gig and Aspen was
at Eagles Club. Oh no,yeah, that's like the k of C,

(07:30):
the American Legion of Aspen, Right, I mean, I love Chicken
and KFC is awesome. The EaglesClub. Don't eat Eagles people, please,
don't eat with illegal that would befoul play. Yeah, jokes,
Yeah, I got jokes for daysdays. Yeah. I started there.

(07:53):
The first bartender I met mister ScottieFarrell. He's a bartender at Eagles also
right now. O um, hegave me my first job there and so
on and so forth that I meta couple other people. Tim Claddeck Shout
out to him. Shout out toTim, Tim. Yeah, Tim Claddeck,
he definitely gave me a jump startin the Aspen world in Denver.

(08:16):
And you know, I came outhere fresh and I've never looked back.
Yeah. No, you're you're crushingit too. Yeah. There's trials and
tribulations you have to get it ornot, and a lot of pitfalls.
Yeah yeah, yeah, But Imean, you know what, if you
can make it, you get tosee the world. You get to meet
people from everywhere and every culture.It's an amazing place. Like you make

(08:39):
the connections, you go visit themlike this offseason, you go out and
you travel the world, Like,where are some of the places you've been
to? I mean, I justgot back from fishing down in uh Cabo
Bisbees. It was amazing, hungout with amazing people, saw amazing bows,
catching big marlin. You know,you meet people like you literally meet
people from everywhere in every aspect andyou would never know where they're from and

(09:07):
they give you a helping hand.There's I call it opportunities. It's like
they only come and they go.You only have one time. If you
don't get it, then it's gone. Yeah, and that's why I do
the podcast about bartending, because likeif you work in like HR or if
you're a project manager, this shipisn't going to happen to you. Like
you're bartending, you don't know what'sgoing to come through the door. It's
always an adventure. It's a potentiallike adventure that comes through the door.

(09:31):
And if you connected with somebody whoknows what it can lead to, it
can lead to anything. And they'relike they you know, people come out
to Aspen and they want to havefun and party, but there's so much
going on around you and the potentialthat people don't look at and get.
But you know what I mean,it was hard growing up, but now

(09:54):
that I'm starting to grow, I'munderstanding the opportunities around me and the hands
that are reaching out. Shake thosehands and things will happen. Yeah,
it's it's a it's as real asit gets. You have some crazy opportunity
right now via that. Yeah,I'm in a closet looking at clothes that

(10:15):
need to be folded. It's weird. I'm talking about the studio right now.
Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah,it's a it's a very di y
studio. Yeah. Sorry, butthe sounds great. You have no idea.
It smells good. Yeah good.I wish you guys can smell this
right now. It smells like oldlaundry. Um, no, give yourself

(10:37):
credit. It smells like new laundryfor breeze. Thanks buddy. I appreciate
you more like as not a guy. So, Um, you've been worked
in at like you've worked at all, Like the fucking hot places in Aspen,
like the fucking clubs, like theplaces that go off the bangers.
Yeah, I've I've worked at someclubs and met some people. Um,

(11:01):
and you know what, it's prettyfun. Give me some fun, give
me some wild stuff. I meanyou're like, like, the it's to
me, it's not even here's thestory. I was like, yeah,
I guess it was probably X games. I'm gonna say we had g easy.
If he don't know's, I guesshe's a two and a half hit

(11:22):
wonder Well, this guy I wassitting there on the point at the bar.
This guy gets up on the bar. I had no idea. I
was like, man, I snatchedhim by his collars, like get your
ass down off my bar right now. And he looked down a him.
He's like, I'm jeezy. Iprobably show I had this big ass black

(11:43):
three hundred pounds ball black dude.He grabbed me and he's like, I
was like, what are you doing? Man? It was like I'll throw
you out too. Yeah. Yeah, I was like it was like and
I was like, oh go on, then I'll let you. They're like
trying to let him go. Iwas like, I let him go and
we still made money. And I'veseen people get knocked out, thrown out

(12:05):
by somebody, drug out by theleg. I mean, it's it's it's
crazy and you would never even knowbecause it's the club that I worked at
was amazing. The people, thebouncers, they took care of me nice,
made sure that I was okay becausethe money, because you knew they
knew you had their back too.I mean, and we used to have
like we used to have slabs comein like on the bill. I mean,

(12:28):
give me some in there, nelly. You know what I'm saying.
Paris you name it. People havecome and hung and had fun and performed
at Busty Bellows. I mean it'sa hot spot. Naspin And my friend

(12:48):
Andrew Sandler, He's made that happenfor a lot of people and kept a
lot of people entertained, and you'llkeep on doing it. He's like his
trials and tribulations. I can't evenimagine him and I have fought like brothers,
but I still love him. Andrew. Oh yeah, he's a knucklehead
sometimes. I'm sure I am too, but we're both very spirited. Well

(13:11):
that's cool. You have a relationshiplike that with a manager and just be
like, tell him what's up.Let me not get fired. Oh no,
I've been fired, but you knowhe's hired me back. Yeah,
of course he loves me. Ilove him too. It was like he's
family, the ship that we've gonethrough. You're like my right hand man.
Jesse shot wild too. Oh Ilove Jesse. I missed that man.
He's come back, Jesse please.Yeah. I remember when I first

(13:37):
met you. I was like Ileft La and I was like like just
scoping out Aspen as a place topossibly go. And you were working with
Scottie at Chunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I bless this all too
the best. Naw yeah, mister, Yeah, I was junk man.
That was a great place. JunkJunk was wold, junk was everything in

(13:58):
between. It was like it waslike stuff from your garage. That was
the whole theme of the place,upside down bottles with the poor things.
It was like Scott de Graff thatstarted that bar. You know, he
did some things out in Vegas toothat were amazing, and uh he gave
you a lot of opportunity as Chrismowas above and beyond. Yeah you can't.

(14:20):
You can't do that, and Imean most people can't. He brought
something new to the place. Yeah, it was like crazy concept. His
concept was off the chain, andit was like it's just like junk,
like just like jeans in the booths, like different items on the menu just
from all over the country. Islike the kitchen. They worked hard.

(14:43):
I just I remember you guys boughtthat fucking ice cream cone machine or the
slushy machine shaved ice. Yeah,and then you made your money back that
same day, Yes, fourth ofJuly. I worked that machine so hard.
We had it for maybe two weeks. I worked it so hard made
so many shaved ice snot of snowCones. Snow Cones un fourth July.
That yeah, I remember broke it. I remember being there. Um,

(15:07):
speaking of celebs, there was acertain NFL quarterback that had come into town
and then like hung out at herfor the weekend and then like quit football
to go to rehab. I meanthat's what. It's a crazy weekend.
I mean, no, that's Imean, that's that happened last weekend.
It happens. There's a if youwant to come to Aspen, don't have

(15:31):
sticker shock and go with the flow. Yeah, that's one thing I'll tell
you is like if you come toAspen, come on on season, Like
if you come on offseason, expectsomething. You're gonna be like what are
you gonna do? It is likeyou gonna take a hike. Yeah,
yea, I go take a hikesthat you go to glen Woods brain biking.
But yeah, it's like that's notthe real shit though. No,

(15:52):
No, it's like, yeah,that's a it's a it's very seasonal place,
but in it's fast and it's furious. I don't be scared. You
can't be scared. Just find you. No, No, do whatever the
fuck you want. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, you do whatever
the fuck you want. You canfind it and you know, pay somebody
and no get it for you.Yep, don't be scared. Just don't

(16:14):
wind up in a snow bank.That's like my one role. Are n't
you know you can do that?Just don't stay there, man. I've
been in a mini a snowbank underunder a tree. Like, hey,
a couple of hours later, youknow, I say, I was like,
where am I? You'll find you'llfind your way home. I've done.
I've done the head of my snowbank thing like just like just like

(16:36):
come back from reality. Like acouple of minutes you're just dunking in there.
Sober you up? Man, Imade it to the front yard.
Not gone in in winter a coupleof times. Why wouldn't you? Man?
Sometimes and I a few weeks ago, I went camping in a blizzard.
I was like, just make afire and get in the snout.
Oh my god, nature. Yeahyeah, yeah, you can't. You

(16:57):
can't deny that. So you're onerappers off the bar You've g easy is
not a rapper or what is he? I mean? Pop? Pop?
Pop? Yeah, I don't knowafter jo I went to NPR, So
I don't even know what's going onright now? Oh shit, yeah,
so uh celebs, you ever runningthe costner? Um? I see,

(17:21):
I see Kurt Russell, everyone KurtRussell. He's a good guy. He's
chill as ship. You don't evenknow. You don't even captain n You
don't, Yeah, you don't evencare. Hell yeah, guys, he's
you just pretend like you've been therebefore. He's just a person. No,
everybody's a person. No, it'slike you don't get start if you

(17:41):
the longer you live in Aspen,are in the valley, being star struck
is so don't I mean, it'sjust don't be a gaper. Yeah,
shake their hand, you know,be cool with them and understand they're just
trying to live their life. Sometimesthey want to chill too. Yeah,
exactly, So it is. Imean, and after that they're like,

(18:03):
hey, they're your friends, Like, hey, hey, thank you.
Yeah. You know it's like you'renot you're not a client, You're a
person. Yeah. I've met peoplenine times richer than you and you're just
another person that needs a drink andyeah, you want to eat? What
do you what do you want You'rehere at a restaurant trying to eat,
drink relax, Yeah, your familywith you. You don't want to take
pictures? Sorry, autographs. There'snothing wrong with that. True. Carry

(18:27):
used to come in jay Bar whereI works. Give me one hundred dollars
of beer. Yeah, I gottaget Jaybar story. What do you got?
Give me the j Bar story.Was I there at the time or
no, I don't know if youwere working? How literally I saw you
know how the Jabar's built. Sothere's like a little backroom or a bowl

(18:48):
of fucking spicy, fucking trail mixor whatever the fuck it. Oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, thebackroom, the closet with the wine
closet and the trail whatever. Yeah. And then there's an exit door that
went into the lobby and it wasalways locked. And instead of sign I
said, do not say this isdo not exit sot No, no,
no. I was sitting at thebooth right there, okay, and uh

(19:11):
Chevy Chase oh nice yeah yeah yeah, he I mean, and you say,
yeah, it wasn't a joke.He got caught his duk walking around
tables. I was like trying togo through there. He's like pushing on
the door, pushing on the door, couldn't get out, and he's kind
of frustrate. He's like he hada piss or something. He was upset,
like he had to get out.Yeah, And we all looked up

(19:34):
at him. He's like, y'alldidn't see that. It's like, yeah
we did. He called wherever youare, mister Chase. You remember that
ship too? You you called back? Oh yeah, I come back.
That happened after Jerome. My buddyJP. I was like rooming with him
and he was working at Justice Snowsand I had the night off. And

(19:56):
he knows I'm a comedian. He'slike, yo, Chevy Chase is here.
I'm like, I'll be right over. So I go there. He's
like seventy years old. He's outsidethe bar smoking cigarettes, right and I'm
like I was smoking at the time. I'm like, hey, you got
a light. He's like yeah,and I go. You know, I
recently quit smoking. It was badfor my health. I just get uncomfortable
every time I went to a gasstation and asked the Middle Eastern guy for

(20:17):
a pack of camels, and helike, he goes three or two.
He bent over laughing and he lookedat me two camels, Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah, and hegoes, are you fucking burning material
on me right now? I'm likeabsolutely. He's like, all right,
what else you got? And Ijust kept I was telling Chevy Chase jokes.
Dude national lampion, Yeah, dudefucking Clark, Grizzwold, Clark fucking

(20:38):
Griswold. And it was amazing.Clark. I loved it too, Like
I ended up doing more shit andaskment than I did in LA Like entertainment
wise, it was crazy because it'slike the opportunity there, no, there's
if you look around this. Iwas saying, there's so much to do
and see, and if you keepyour eyes up and you don't have you

(21:00):
don't have to say anything. Yousit and listen. You just exactly be
in a bartender. You get tosit and listen. Better to be quiet
and thought a fool than to openone's mouth and remove all doubt. Just
learn, just learn. Give me. So the chick situation is tough in
the off season because it's six dudesto one girl, but during season when

(21:25):
the tourists come, it's a muchbetter ratio. Well, I mean there's
I mean the chick situation for mehas never been a problem. Never.
Trent's smooth as fuck, fucking handsomeas fuck, he's got the radio voice.
I love ladies. Um they don'tlove me there. Yeah, it's

(21:55):
not a sad world. And hey, ladies, I am single right now.
If you want to confine me.I love traveling, I love surprises.
I love surprising puppies. Yeah,no, full grown dogs that are
adopted. No poppies, well done, No what done? Yeah, it's

(22:17):
like I'm gonna We're gonna walk onthe beach, not run diagonal and back
and forth. You no, no, what's your best? But the girls
situation in Aspen as far Hey.You know what, Um, there's there's

(22:37):
a few diamonds like me and therough out there in Aspen, and you
know what, the girls beg youand that's hey, that's what it is.
I means out there, Hey,be confident in yourself and you don't
have to have any worries. Yeahthat I mean, that's and that's anywhere
in life you don't. Girls theyalways pick you. Yeah, I don't

(23:03):
care. Wherever anywhere you goes likethe ladies, the flowers, they pick
you. Yeah. You run allthe game in the world. They have
the decision. Yeah, they decide. Yeah, exactly. Man, just
be a gentleman, be yourself,have fun and work out any fun tourist
stories, any any days that camein, like from far flung locales that

(23:27):
you laid the spell on. Man, there used to be this Brazilian lady
and not use her name. Umman, she's she's pretty sweet. Yeah,
he was like, and that's partwas like, you know, like
I said, there's seasonal ladies,jay ones, we call them. You

(23:47):
know, they come, they workfor a season and never come back.
Yeah. I mean you're like oneof their fondest memories, right, I
mean our nightmares. I mean Ihave no ideas, like she's never called
me back. No, sorry,that's what that's That's what it is like,
and that's the that's the life ofI guess at everybody there. It's

(24:11):
not just me, it's somebody ina resort town. Yeah yeah, in
a resort to. I mean I'vebeen married divorced in that town. I
actually kinds of wild. I didn'tknow that you were married. Yeah,
holy shit, dude, how long? Too long? Come on, I'm
gonna go over under her two years. Just just right there. Yes,

(24:33):
yes, yeah, Vegas. Odds, where were you on that one?
I knew it. We're gonna talkabout No, we're not gonna talk about
that Vegas either, Oh Vegas?Why not? Why aren't we talking about
that? It sounds like a strucka rich van and I kind of want
to go there. We'll have tohave another podcast. Let's go, no
go? And where is this theprivate plane situation? No? No,
okay, no private plane on thisone. But you know, everybody,

(24:56):
we'll have a sequel with trend wherewe're talking about Vegas. That's it's like,
that's a whole memoir. Oh shite, some fear of loathing. Oh
no, twenty one days in Vegas. Dude, I can't do a weekend
twenty one days, no joke.And you made it out? Would you
sleep five days? Um? Someoneput me to sleep. I was refeated

(25:18):
all kinds of Vega, the Vegas, the Vegas ships, wild as ship.
That's literally a couple of chapters morethan this. Oh well, shit,
all right, and you don't wantto talk about it now? No?
Alright? Literally real yeah, likeno, I'll give it to you.
We're gonna make it. There's gonnabe some more podcasts between mister stud

(25:41):
Lee and uh mister Battle, giveme, give me something. You're a
you're at Boots Bells now no?No? Or you know I'm at zanes
Are You're at zanes Okay tavern guy? All right, So I'm gonna tell
you something. I was at Eric'sonce. I've been there several times,
but I was there once and theygot the bathrooms that are super conducive to

(26:03):
doing blow. It's like you ina sex right, And they got the
frosted glass. Yeah, I know, dud. Have you seen the the
prison toilet seats, the stainless stillYeah, dude. Have you seen the
video of the chick fucking the dudethrough the frosted glass and everyone's waiting in
light and then she goes back toher boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, that's

(26:26):
that's that happens like every weekend.It's crazy, dude. Yes, I
mean, I don't think you're special. No. Yeah. Yeah, it's
like it's like it's not your turn, No, it's not your turn.
And I always loved Escobar. Ilove giving directions to that place. It's
amazing, dude. I love it. People would be like, where is
that go up that way? Andgo left and you see you girl crying

(26:48):
outside then you're there is awesome.It's fucking pimp, dude. Those guys
found they dialed it in. Theyfound the formula. No, they struck
Lightning in a bottle. Lightning ina bottle. And if you're an Aspen,
go to Escobar, go to Bootsies. No, it's not boots it's
called Sterling. Sterlings. Now yeahJesus, yeah, I guess it's Sterling.

(27:11):
They're you know, they're crushing it. I love their whole thing.
They're doing it. They found aspot, That's what I'm saying. Sandlers
put nightlife in Aspen and he believesin it, so he's behind that he
no, he I mean it's Bootsiesfour point er. Oh wow, pretty
much. That's dangerous. No,it's not. It's fun. Yeah,

(27:34):
i'd be like dangerous and fucking goget it yea, yeah, yeah,
you got again. I do thisbecause, like people want to know what
we deal with, what we doon a night to night basis that job.
I just bartended this New Year's Eve. Oh yeah, let's hear it.

(27:56):
I'm Zanes is the last local wholebar in all of the valley.
Pretty muches. I mean, there'sa couple. But Eddie Zane his first
first bar going on twenty two yearsup in snowmass Aspen, thirteen years and
he just um built a new Zanesdown in Willet's township, part of the

(28:22):
Sault. He's got cheap eats,pitchers of beer. You can come chill.
I'll tell you what this New Year'sI worked. I'm the only bartender,
the only bartender and one server.Holy shit, it was no joke.
You know, I'm saying you haveto bust your ass and direct the
crowd. Octopus c man. It'slike multiplying. And as I was,

(28:48):
he it was. It was real, you know what. And like I
said, I've been bartending in Aspenfor going on a couple almost a couple
of decades. It's been a wildride. Has been fun. I've got
to meet amazing people. But ifyou come to Aspen, come to Zigns,

(29:10):
it is cheap, easy. Um. You're gonna get your cheese steaks,
your hot wings. You didn't getsome cheese steak egg rolls. They
call it crack back in Aspen.Cheese steak egg rolls or crack rolls.
No joke. Damn. Yeah,and once you eat one, you're addicted.
Uh, speaking of crack, speakingof Aspen, the drugs, we

(29:33):
gotta talk about the drugs. It'sall part of it. Yeah. I
found it to be stepped on alot of the time. Like I would
like drugs. I don't want totalk something you live. You live in
Middle America. It's gone down somehighway. Yeah, stepped so yeah,
you know. I mean, I'lltell you what, be careful what you
do. I'm gonna tell you that. Yeah, I mean, it is

(29:57):
no doubt. Man, I alreadyI love drugs. I get to see
it, I get to see someof the best and whatever you do,
be safe. Yeah, I mean, and that's first and foremost, and
but enjoy your life and being fuckI have no idea when I'm gonna go.
We never do you never doing rockand roll? Motherfuckers. I mean

(30:18):
I was like, fuck yeah,I would never want to know. They
always ask that question, like,hey, well if you saw a psychic
and you can find out the dayyou die, Like, I don't want
to fucking know, dude. Ijust want to rock and just have fun
today. I can't wait to geteaten by a fucking shark. You know,
it's like it was like paying you'redebt for all deficients. Yeah yeah,
so yeah, yeah, I waslike I'd rather do that. You
know, I'm saying, like,I mean, go out doing something you

(30:40):
love, whatever it is. Imean, it's your choice. You're not
your choice. Fucking live your lifeand love your life. My biggest fear
and don't be afraid, well,I have a fear of like flying in
the ocean. So my biggest fearis like flying over the ocean and the
plane's about to go down at nightinto the water, and right before I

(31:03):
hit, I realized I'd become myfather. It's like my biggest fear.
You know what that is? What'sthat? A submarine? That's what just
happened. Your plane just planed itout and you turned into a submarine.
That's right. Let's go hunt forred October find me, all right,
buddy. Uh yeah, So wejust took a little piss break and a

(31:26):
little uh pre game again just tolike amp up and Trent, you were
telling me this story about like howyou deal with your bar, like management
always wants people to be treated acertain way and ooh and I get that
and everything like that. But atthe end of the day, you're gonna
get some people and you have licenseto like own your ship. That's why

(31:48):
I take tips class, tips class. Yeah, they tell me if you're
responsible. I'll tell you what Iwas like being a bartender. I mean
anywhere, I don't care where you'refrom. Small town down, local bar,
big city nightclub. M Most peopleare pretty solid, but there's some
dickheads for sureas right. I meansometimes you can take two or three percent

(32:15):
dickhead and make them a better personfor the night's over. Yeah. Yeah,
try to educate them. Yeah yeah, learn how to tip, be
respectful, you know, wait theirturn. You know, it's like being
an adult. It's called adult team. I hate when they lean more,
like they lean against and then theylean more. No, no, I
saw you. No, Well,lean in and clean the bar, like

(32:36):
yeah, grab the naphead. It'slike, that's that's cool. They don't
notice you get your here grab yeah. Yeah, sweep it up with your
sleeve, dude. Yeah, runyour arm across the bar and soak up
that fucking fluid. You're next,yeah yeah, yeah, definitely next.
You're hired. We need a warmbody to fucking do some dishes back here.
Ain't that some ship? By theway, Like, when you go
to a bar like enough times andyou're a regular, you eventually end up

(32:58):
working there. Have you seen thata few times? Yeah, they're called
locals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all right. I'm cool with
that. They had that respect andthey you know what, those are the
guys that give us the money,they tip and they respected. They're they'll
take out your trash. They livetwo blocks from there and they walk home
responsible drunks. I got one foryou. Like when I interviewed at the

(33:22):
Jerome, he was like one ofthe moments in the interview was like,
all right, listen, you takecare of the locals and then you charge
the guests. You don't let theguests see the local stabs, but don't
give away the house. Was thatsoprano? Yeah, yeah, soprano.
Yeah, thank you. I appreciatethat one. Yeah yeah. Nobody under

(33:43):
the bus yeah fuck no man.And uh, then we were talking he
went to Vegas with a couple ofassociates that we all know. Yeah,
um, not the Vegas story thatwe've avoided, but this is a different
Vegas story. No, this isa It was a bartenders invention. We'll
say it's probably around I don't know, late two thousand and nine, which

(34:06):
already sounds like the most fun ever. But bart us from all over the
country in Vegas. No, itwas awesome. You saw if that person
had a you we recognize bracelets andyou'd be walking around town and if you
was at the convention, weren't youlike you already knew its like it's fifty
sixty thousand people and it was itwas fun. Like we're hanging out.

(34:27):
Yeah, you want to see theseglasses. I'm selling them a new cocktail.
Yeah, exactly. Those guys rumand coke. Yeah, rum and
coke. You guys are there forthe cocktails. I'm here for the fucking
debauchery. Yeah, I'm making stories. Yeah, yes, yeah. Life.
So you're with you're with somebody fromYeah, it was a good one.
We uh we all met up atthe hard Rock you know it,

(34:52):
you know, six of us,seven of us. We're over at the
Palms or earlier having fun and uha big at the blackjack table Domino.
About five people people that weren't evenin our crew, just like falling over
like motorcycle. No, yeah,it was you know, people were upset,
like bouncers came out of the woodwork. Sorrys were done, you know,

(35:16):
tips were passed, you know,new drinks and we uh you know,
it's like this is this is thebeginning of the night. We get
into this elevator and we're going upstairsand I'm gonna keep it pc. This
little person was a elevator attendant andhe was strong. He was strong,

(35:39):
and me and my friend O myother friend he was like, hey,
I hope my buddy don't say nothing. It's like like it was like living
on a prayer on the reel.We get out of this elevator. We
get our table and we're like,this is back when people did jagerbombs.
So I don't know if they stilldo that. Might I mean age me,

(36:00):
I guess. But uh so we'redrinking. My friend goes into the
bathroom. There's a thirty stalls cutsthe line. He's like, you don't
know who I am. Man.They drugged this dude out the back door,
bumped his head and uh yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(36:21):
yeah. It was it was wild. We get home, we all get
separated, and uh, I guesswe spent all our money or most of
it were it was pretty wild.I mean through man, we didn't count.
It was like it was at thepoint where the debauchery took over.

(36:42):
It's like it was no there's nofox giving giving, you know. So
it came down He's like, fuckingwe decided to Hey, you know,
our boss brought us out here.Get him a hooker. You know what
I'm saying, So like hooker.Yeah, it's like, I mean,
it's back. I don't know this. This is like paper hookers. You

(37:07):
used to walk down Vegas trip andthey little cards like baseball collecting cards,
right, like half ass naked girlscall me and there's another girl on the
other side. I mean, yeah, there's the people in the streets handed
him out. There's our mutual friend, Scotty Whitcomb. My first time going
to Vegas. He goes, allright, still gonna give you one piece
of advice. You're in Vegas andsome hot chick comes up and starts talking

(37:30):
to you. Just remember you're notthat cool. Yeah did he say it
with his pinky? He had hispinky bent? Yeah, yeah, blue
eyed fucking Jason him. He's fuckinggood. Yep, he's good. He's
a he's a best man in thewedding, I'll never have did. He

(37:50):
might just be everybody's best man.Yeah, he's pretty good. Shit,
I'm gonna get him on this podcYeah he'll find you, he'll find you.
Yeah. Yeah, go to NewYork City, He'll find you.
Yep. Um may we were back. So we get a we get we
get we get my boss man thishooker, and we don't even have any
money anymore. We're so blacked out, spent everything. We have, like
five hotel rooms fucking on the samelevel. Were was playing pranks on each

(38:15):
other, fucking each other over,try to be just total total assholes.
It was fun, your buddies,you know what I'm saying you only it
was it was literally fucking I don'tknow shit. I mean fearing it wasn't.
It wasn't fear and loathing. Imean I got my fear in loathing
stories. But it was fun.What is called what is called uh fucking

(38:37):
bartender convention. Yeah, I meanthat's what it is. Everybody fun running
up down hallways naked and shit.And so you get your boss's hooker,
get the hooker and she just likethe time of day is this like five
in the morning, four thirty inthe morning. It was like, who
were passed out? She was eatingeggs when she got the call. Oh
no, no, no, she'sjust like two of them are in her

(38:57):
mouth before for sure, talking abouteggs like an over easy scramble scrambled the
fertilized. How do you like him? Sunny side up, riding me all
day? I don't have to move? Yeah? Yeah, yeah? Is
her name is Gina? No names? He said, no names? Sorry,
but yeah, So no one hasany money? Yes, we has,

(39:22):
like, hey, Tim's Tim's gotthe last of everybody's money in the
fucking safe. He forgets this,He forgets this combination. We have to
have security come up fucking break intothe fucking like. He's like, my,
I d's in there too, soI need to see I D see
who who's in this room. It'slike, make shit's in there? This
guy big fucking yeah, you're big? What was called him? Big?

(39:46):
Okay? Yeah? He opens upthe safe, gets out the money.
Tim goes, you know, Tim, he was like he wasn't mad.
Later he's like, thank you guys, I needed to release you know what
I'm saying. So so the nextwhatever, we're getting to this airport,
Tim gives everybody like, here's fortybucks. There's like six of us,

(40:07):
like last for our fucking debauchery money. We're still blocked out. We see
the airport fucking bar right there,right before you go, right before you
go to that little fucking check gate. Everybody, everybody's been there. Have
you been to Vegas? You knowexactly exactly where it's hate. We all
look yeah, we all look ateach other. Man says yeah, yeah,

(40:34):
yeah, yeah, so we alllike, let's shit, guy,
damn, I don't at least fivebucks in this machine. I'll have one
Yakoba. Yeah, we had fun. Guy in line, this fucking Latino
guys in front of us. Hisbuck buckle was a gun. It looks
like it looked like a gun.Fucking They're like, whose bag is this

(40:55):
week? Whatever his name is said, that's mine, Like, shut the
funk up with us, not yours, like you fuck yeah if it isn't.
I was like, no, it'slike you feel that, yeager,
And now the bombs hit me rightnow. You know, I don't even
know how they led us on theplane to get back. You're too drunk

(41:17):
to s yeah, I mean man, And then and by then like Tim
comes up. He was like,where's the money. It was like jager
bomb. Man's like he's buying afucking gift for somebody. Yeah, it's
yeah, and it's like, man, credit shit. And I made one
phone call and we all had dinnerthe next day and looked our wounds back

(41:40):
to the Aspen Valley and did itagain. That's the thing, man,
Like your Barton, you always knowsomebody a jam like you got somebody you
can call man. Yeah, man, it's real. The Aspen. The
Aspen has given me lots of opportunitiesto meet different people that are awesome.
And it's like, you know thesepeople that are famous, you know their

(42:01):
talents, that people pay them forthis, and that you know they also
love their privacy and love life.Yeah, and when you can just treat
them like normal people and say hiand buy and you know, it's like,
hey, you know, what doyou need? It's easy. Like
everybody has awesome feelings and bad feelingsat the same time, and we all

(42:22):
bring it back. Yeah. Andlife is awesome. Way when you're dead,
it's over. Yeah. Every daythat you wake up and that problem
you have is something to fucking fix. It's a good problem. To have
exactly you're alive. I always tellthe story I lived in LA for twelve
years and when it came time forme to leave, you know how many

(42:44):
people help me move zero. Ilived in Aspen for three years. I
just put on Facebook. Hey guys, I think that it was the end
of my run. I'm going toDenver. I went to go get my
U haul. When I came back, they're over twenty people outside my apartment
helping me move. You can sleepon my bathtub. Thank you. I
appreciate that. Next time I comeout, I can sleep in your bathtub.

(43:05):
That's what I'm talking about, people, I got soap and everything.
All right, that's t battle everybody, T battle everybody. Thanks for listening.
Tell your friends downloads, subscribe,um, tell me an email,
Cocktails and wasted nights at gmail dotcom. Don't forget to give me a
five star review. Rum and Coke. We're gonna do that recipe at the

(43:28):
top. Yeah, I mean rumand coke. Uh. Sometimes you want
to put the coke in with therum, but otherwise you want the coke
on the side. You can gocoke first and then rum. You can
go coke first, then rum andcoke, can go, coke, coke
rum, there's all kinds of combinations. He's a bartender, he's a mixologist.
He knows how to do it.It's a one in one with the

(43:49):
one on the side. Nipple bumps, nipple bumps. All right, folks,
thanks for listening, and we're gonnahave him back in another episode to
get that Vegas story. Trust me, I'll get it out of him.
Cheers. Hey, fuck y'all.I love you, I love everybody.
Be safe or don't live your life. That's all life, that's all it
matters. It's over. It's over. And this man right here, Studley,

(44:12):
he gives a shit. I givea shit. Guy. Yeah,
I believe that he shits at leasttwice today. Bowed movements, see you
soon. Well, it's last call, so let me give you a tip
when splitting the tab five ways.I'd like to remind you of some things,
and those things are ven Mozelle andcash app gtfo folks, it's been

(44:34):
a blast. You don't have togo home, but you can't stay here
and a call to my fellow boostslingers. Send in your stories to Cocktails
and Wasted Nights at gmail dot com. You can remain anonymous if you'd like.
Thanks for listening, subscribing, downloading, and spreading the word. Don't
be afraid to give me a goodreview, even if you're lying. It
really does help build our community ofbarbarians. And check out my video.
Just close it on YouTube. Youwill laugh, damn it. If you

(44:58):
want to support the podcast, youcan do that on Patriot. We have
a new thing there called Counterpoints whereI kind of hang out with the interviewees
and we kind of talk about theirinterview at my kitchen counter. So I
went, you know, way overboardon the creativity on naming that anyway.
Yeah, it's worth a try.Hey, we'll see you next time.
We're behind bars, cocktails and wastednights. Cheers