Episode 51- The Night I Interviewed Jess the Manager

Helping out the family, Queen of the 86, Creepy Golfers, the folly of marriage, and a murder worthy of Dateline!


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Just Close It!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63ITtPNdlFk&t=106s

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Can I get five espresso martinis?Five? Where is there a cocaine shortage?

(00:26):
What can I get you? Drunk? Barbarians? Welcome to episode fifty
one of the award winning podcast BehindBars, Cocktails and Wasted Nights. Yes,
I'm going to milk that, somentally prepare yourselves. I'm your host,
Greg. I've been working as abartender for over twenty years, and
over those years, I've seen alot. My goal here is to share

(00:47):
some of those high and low lightswith you. Quick warning, this podcast
contains sex, drugs, and somelanguages. Isn't suitable for anyone under twenty
one years of age, so yougotta have some id For this one.
I took a gamble and invited themanager in for an interview. It was
a gamble because she's not just justthe manager, she's just my manager,
so trust me. I toned downthe pregame behavior so as to not reveal

(01:10):
how much of a degenerate I trulyam in my offtime. Actually not really
a tbh. Okay, before weget started, you'll need a drink for
this one. Just wants y'all tofix yourselves up with a Manhattan. I
don't know if I've done this onebefore, but let's plow ahead anyway.
First, chill a Cooper Martini glasswith ice water, then in a shaker

(01:30):
tin unless you have a beaker,fill with ice and add your ingredients.
Here's anemonic device, the area codeto Manhattan two one two, two ounces
of rye or in some cases bourbonI like High West Bow rye for balance.
Then one ounce of sweet vermouth carpanoantica if you've got it. Then
two dashes, preferably long poles.If you're in the middle of the bottle

(01:51):
of Angustura bitters. If you justopen the bottle, you'll need six to
eight little guys. Sir that suckerabout twenty times to chill and dilute.
Empty your chilled coop and straight intothe glass. Garnish with three because two
is bad luck. Luxardo cherries,those nuclear red Marisquinos are tacky and gross.
And as always, if you don'thave any of that shit lyne around,
I strongly recommend you following your nosedown the dusty white trail, and

(02:15):
without further ado, here's just themanager. Enjoy Barbarians. Welcome to episode
fifty one of Behind Bars, Cocktailsand waisted nights. I am here with
Jess the manager. What's going on? Jess? Hey, how are you?
I'm super thanks for esking. Iappreciate your concern for my well being.

(02:37):
Jess. I've been wanting to getyou in here for a while,
and I'm glad that you brought afriend because it's very awkward situations. The
buddy system is probably the best whenyou're going into a small room with me
and in my closet recording alone.What do you think of the setup?
I love it, honestly. Youjust have that big of a fan base.
They said, I was coming onyour podcast and everyone's like, I
want to go, I want togo. So here we are. Oh
I love that. Yeah. Sojust the manager and I worked together and

(03:01):
she's my boss, which is kindof awesome. She's a great manager,
like super cool, Um, understandswhere we're coming from, understands what she
needs to do and gets it done. And how long have you been in
a chess in management and the industry, in the industry, who'd you start?

(03:22):
Twelve years? Twelve years? Howold you know? Twenty seven?
Oh my god, yeah, fifteenI started seeing I just did the math
on that. Yeah, Wow,did you ever work permitted or something?
No. I was my family's Italianfrom New York and we lived in Gilbert,
Arizona, and they found this Italianrestaurant owned by Italians from New York,

(03:42):
and they got me a job bussingthere when I was fifteen. You
had to pay the bills young,so started there her bills at fifteen,
my parents bills. Oh wow,yeah, you helped out the family.
Helped out the family. Yeah that'sawesome. Yeah, okay, yeah it
was cool. So I got ajob busing tables and kind of hosting,
and then they let me start servingat sixteen. I just wasn't allowed to
run my own alcohol, right,yeah, exactly, or I think in

(04:05):
Arizona at the time it was eighteen. Okay, but yeah, I would
just take orders and got yelled at. Gave me my work ethic, that's
for sure. But what do youmean you got yelled at? I mean
it was Italians. You know,you messed up one time, but it
was like all out of a placeof love. So I was this young,
little timid kid and they would yellat me if I did anything wrong.
But yeah, yeah, totally.I didn't run from it. I

(04:27):
was like, cool, I wantto be the best I can be.
I want to like prove to thesepeople that I can do a good job.
So yeah, that's where I started. Wow, I never went back.
Yeah, bills too, yep,um still paying bills to always they
never stop. Did you like wantto get out? Did you want to
do anything else? Or do youlove the service industry? Talk to me?
Oh yeah, I've wanted to getout of the industry so many times.

(04:49):
Oh yeah. When I moved toDenver, I was like, I'm
not gonna work in the industry.IM get a bartending job. I'm gonna
work over it. Yeah, I'mgonna do that until I find what I
really want and done, really likemoving. And then it's just all I've
ever done. You know, It'slike I get it, Like I've tried
a million things, like to befamous, even yeah, TV shows,
wrote a book, movies, hada band, and it just like calls

(05:14):
me back all the time no matterwhat. Well, when it's something that
you've been doing for your whole life, it's comfortable. Yeah, I know
the money's there. You know,you go into another line of work and
you're like, I don't know,what's the average pay for this job,
Like, where do I have tostart? Like I want to be the
FMG at some place, the fuckingnew guy. Yeah exactly. I mean
I went to school for health coachingand business, and that's what I really
wanted to do. But I wasin the industry my whole life. I

(05:36):
worked at a company back home foreight years, so I worked my way
all the way up. It's kindof hard for me to be like,
I'm leaving this and starting at thebottom again doing something else. So what
is health coaching and business translate intolike what are you like? What are
we talking personal? Yeah, personaltraining, kind of both. I started.
I should have went to community college. When I started college, I

(05:57):
had no idea what I wanted todo. You know, I was just
working and my parents didn't go tocollege, so I had no really guidance
in that. I was the firstperson in my family to go at the
time. So for me, itwas I went to I think it an
exercise science to start, went straightto a university three hours away from my
parents, and I had no ideawhat I was doing. Kind of just
did not do good and then yeah, I just changed my major a bunch

(06:20):
of times. Went in a hotelrestaurant management because I was like, well,
this is what I've been doing mywhole life, so maybe I should
do that. And then I said, well, I don't want to do
that forever, thinking you know,if your degree is what you graduated,
then you're stuck there for the restof your life. Even though a degree
is a degree, doesn't matter whatit's saying. You know, it's in
screenwriting, it's not you know,yeah, but I mean it's like still
something you wanted to do. Ijust was so not in the right.

(06:42):
No one guided me, you know, And so once I hit a certain
age, I was like, Okay, go to community college, take a
few classes at a time, changeyour major. And then by the time
I think I finally graduated in twentytwenty, so it was two years after
I originally went to college, twoyears after I should have graduated. Sorry,
so I and it was just like, what credits do I have to
get out of here? And theylanded on you could graduate with health coaching

(07:05):
and a minor own business. Iwas like, cool, let's get this.
Then I just kind of done,just want a degree. So that's
how I did. But yeah,personal training and like health has always been
a huge thing for me. It'sjust not a lot of money there,
and now you work in an industrythat is like the opposite of exercise and
health. Yeah, totally. Imean that's my biggest thing. I mean
the only health job I had Iwas a cycle bar instructor. Love that.

(07:27):
I'm trying to do that again.That was so fun class Yeah,
oh god, I could never dothat makes me tired. Oh yeah,
it's hard. I did that duringcovid Um one opened up in the town
I was living in and it wasall virtual, which was weird. So
yeah, would you do it likeremotely? Yeah? Well, to get
the job, you have to audition. It's kind of like oh wow,
yeah, it's crazy. So youhave to send in like these auditions.

(07:50):
Do you get your exercise bike athome and you're recording. Yeah, they
dropped one off to everybody's house thatwas in it, and then you know,
if you made it in the bootcamp. It was five week boot
camp virtual though, and you hadto do it by yourself, and even
after that boot camp you might nothave even made it. I would just
be like fast forwarding just to seeright. Yeah, I don't watch the

(08:11):
whole thing, like, is shestruggling? I don't know, I'm just
fast forwarding. Oh, they haveso many roles, it's crazy. The
nice thing about is you don't needa certification, but you have to pass
their training, so it's it's rigorous. For sure. It was tough.
But I did that during COVID,so I kind of felt like that was
my indo the health industry. Didyou like want to own a gym or
something like that, or you know, when I was young, that was
an idea. But then you realizehow much money actually goes into owning a

(08:31):
gym, And I'm like, doyou want to hear something funny? Yeah,
I used to be the top salesmanat a gym. This was like
back in LA when I was auditioningand shooting testosterone into my ass and had
a personal trainer. Yeah I've seenpictures of that. Yea, yeah,
yeah, so but I would like, I would like show somebody the ad
machine and I get on there andmy cigarettes would fall out of my workout
pants pocket. I'm like, listen, we're all realists. Then I go

(08:54):
into the studio, I'm like,Okay, this is our classroom. We
have yoga, we have pilates.If you can't decide, we have yogilates.
So okay, well my last nameis Coloate, so that was always
the thing of mine. I coulddo pilates coloates. Oh yeah, or
right now, my biggest thing.If I became a personal trainer's body by
clotate, that's been more. Ohthat's good. Now, hopefully ESPN's listening.

(09:16):
We'll get you out there, right, have one of those workouts.
Just do me a favor. Ifyou do the workout show and you wear
the bikini because you're in Hawaii andyou're doing that, don't also wear white
socks and sneakers with the bikini.I can't stand that. When they're like
in the sand or just like whenthey're doing on the mats, you get
the bikini going, you get thehot body, and they get white socks

(09:37):
and sneakers. Right, it's likedad mode. It's like yeah, yeah,
just like no shoes, no foots. Right, you're on the beach,
fare foot let's go. If you'rein a gym, one thing or
high heels, even high heels,obviously, it's like if I can do
this in high heels, you cando this with no shoes on I'm talking
about you Kiana from Keiana's Flex Appealsduring my adolescence when I was trying to
bust one out. All right,um so when was it, if you

(09:58):
can pin it down, I don'tknow, You're in the service industry and
you decide I gotta get out ofthe service industry, Like, was there
a specific moment? Yeah, ohnice, Yeah totally. So. I
mean I bartended my way through college. I paid my way, had paid
my own bills my whole life,and I think I took student that loans
out one year. And then Igot a good job bartending. I was
making a lot of money, soI was like, oh, I'm just

(10:20):
gonna pay this as I go,you know, might as well. And
then twenty twenty hit. You know, COVID. I lived in a pretty
liberal city. It kind of gottough, I mean liberal city, but
I worked at a country club,so there was a lot of conservative guests
that came in. You know,you're a bartender, you're trap behind the
barb Wou'd always say, your cagedanimal, you're stuck that there. You
have to listen to what everybody saysall the time. And that was during

(10:41):
I would say I'm a duck ina shooting gallery. Absolutely, you're not
a server. You can't walk awayfrom people being annoying. You have to
engage and if you want money,you have to sit there. But like
all of our regulars, you know, I worked there for four years.
It was talking about COVID twenty fourto seven and this and that, and
then the riots started happening and allthe loot, and it was like I
couldn't get away from all the negativityand bartending used to be fun for me.

(11:05):
I always had so much fun bartending, and COVID kind of killed that
just because of how much pressure andstress there was on the service industry.
I mean, like enforcing people towear masks when you don't want to,
or enforcing people you have to sitthere and you can't get up. It
like killed the vibe of bartending forme, like all together. And at
that point I really wanted to getout of the industry altogether. But there
was really what do you do?It's COVID, like, it's no one

(11:26):
hire anything. That was the moment. That was a moment, and you
know, that's when I actually wentinto management because that was my out from
behind the bar, my moment wasthe first three months into it. Yeah,
I was a bus boy, Ohmy god, and like, somebody
broke a martini glass and I waslike, I bent over to like sweep
it up, and the guy tookthe stem of the martini glass and shoved
it down the back of my pants. What I was like, I gotta

(11:48):
get out of this fucking restaurant.Oh my god. But then I told
the bartenders what had happened, andthey gave me a vodka cranberry and told
me to walk by and accidentally spillit on his white shirt perfect, which
did and then he was out.Yeah, but I was like, Wow,
people are fucking horrible. People arehorrible to service industry people, And
I think it made me a betterperson altogether. I think everybody should have
to work in the service industry,whether that be a retail or whether that

(12:11):
be working in a bar anything.I think, like it Israel, you
have to do a year in thearmy, US you should have to do
a year in a restaurant, absolutely, yeah, or even retail. I've
never worked retail, but I've heardit's horrible. Like I heard the people
that go in there. I mean, you're dealing with literally everyone Oh,
everyone who steals, everyone who buysshit wears it brings it back. Yeah,
people like throw like you've spent hoursfor and you know, I never

(12:33):
even thought about that. I neverworked in retail, but I can understand
how that would be absolutely horrible.They deal with the same assholes. Yeah.
Yeah, it definitely like makes mequestion humanity as a whole. Every
every now I go to work,I'm like, what's going to happen?
Am I going to make them abunch of money? Am I gonna get
laid? Am I bomb with acool person? Or am I going to

(12:54):
meet a Karen who's just woke uptoday and decided to ruin someone's life?
Yeah? What happens to be me? Or like nothing happens, which is
rare, you knows where Like youget someone's like how is work, and
you're like, I mean, nothingreally went down. That never happened already.
It's like a Monday night in thewinter maybe, but it's always an
adventure. So you doubled down,like you want to get out of the

(13:15):
industry, and now you're like,I'm a fucking manager. Yeah, I
kind of dug myself in a holethere, really for sure? Yeah,
you don't think it's like, soyou liked bartending more than management. I'm
really good at bartending. I'm greatwith customers, like I will say,
really good at management. Yeah,it's it's tough. I could have made
more money bartending. I miss beingable to pick up a shift if I

(13:35):
need more money, or I wasjust I'm after being in the industry for
so long, people becoming patient andyou're the same way, Like you're just
nice to everybody that walks up,Like obviously people can piss you off,
but like right off the bat,I'm a really good person to customers,
and I made a lot of moneydoing it, even though I was just
bartending on the side for a littlebit. I'm like, man, I'm
actually really good at bartending. Ihadn't done it in a long time.

(13:56):
I've been managing. It is emotionallyexhausting people, Yeah, totally. Like
I always say, bartending now islike a little baby that's not mine,
like a nissa and nephew. It'slike, oh, you're so cute,
let me hold you, and thenit poops and you give it back to
mom or dad. That's how bartendingis for me. I'm like, I
could hop in I can help out, and then when you guys are good,

(14:18):
I'm like, cool, I gotmy hour of bartending for the day.
Like felt good. Now I getto leave and go talk to people
and tell baby poops. You haveto call the manager exactly pop, get
a manager, yeah, seriously putout the fires? Yeah yeah, so
what's that? Like you got notonly the fires because I was thinking about
this like earlier, I'm like,when I bartend, one of the goals
of the night, among many others, is to shield the manager from the

(14:41):
Karen, Like, you never wantsomebody to go get me a manager,
Like you do everything in your powerto resist that, Like you're blocking for
a running back to get a touchdown. Yeah, Like you have to put
out the fires of the employees andof the angry guests and deal with the
weird shit like well, so totallypends on because sometimes I love when people

(15:03):
ask for a manager. You know, I'm like, oh, what you
know? It just depends on whoyou work for that would be cool with
you get the backstory into yeah,or like if your owner the ownership is
cool with you sticking up for yourstaff, then I have no problem speaking
to like an unhappy guess I haveno problem with that at all. Like
that lady that was mad that wewere mistreating that way, When you tell
me that, I'm like, honestly, I'm excited to go down and talk

(15:26):
to her, because that's just aridiculous thing. If it's something that like
is genuinely our fault and our problem, that's when it sucks, because then
it's like, that's embarrassing and that'stotally on us, and you have every
right to be upset. Now whatcan I do to help you get past
that? That does suck. Butwhen they're being absolutely ridiculous, those are
my favorite. I love it.What's the like ballpark percentage? Like,

(15:46):
how often do you deal with somebodywho's I rate when it's our fault versus
they're just making shit up in theirhead. Well, now that we don't
have food rarely ever, you're right, that's like verily, that's a very
food based industry where people just getmad. You know, food comes out
wrong, food comes out undercooked,food comes out with something in it.

(16:07):
We don't have that issue, soit doesn't really happen. The only time
people get mad is if we kickthem out, cut them off, And
in that sense, they're out.You know, we just get security they
handle it. So here it's reallyeasy, but at other places where it's
food, it's kind of hard toargue with people. The only time I
would ever tell them that they're wrongis when they ate all of it and
said, you know, I hatedit, and I'm like, well,
that sucks for you. Yeah.Other than that, you know, I've

(16:30):
worked at restaurants when the kitchen washorrible and it's like I'm putting out fires
every day, you know, AndI had a bonus system where comps were
affected by that. So I'm like, man, if I comp everyone's food
all the time, it's going toaffect my money. That sucks, you
know. But I know, liketraining the servers, training the bartenders,
training everyone. Everyone was pretty good. It just usually came from food.

(16:51):
So it's a nice thing to nothave. I got sucked in the management
in La once, and I rememberI've walking around with a coffee mug.
Yeah, how was everything? Sipat the table, you know, get
you a free dessert. Yeah.And then I remember, once I'm in
La it's like venturable of our There'sthis pair of ladies on the patio eating
a charcuterie board, and they demandeda new one because a bee headlanded and

(17:15):
they were sitting outside. Yeah.I love that. Oh my god.
I worked at a place like that. I'm supposed to do put up like
mosquito it. Yeah, like there'sa bee over here. Okay, there's
a flower right there. I don'tknow. Yeah, you're in nature.
You can sit inside. We offerinside seating. Yeah. That was a
place like that too. At acountry club. Man, we get a
little pollen on your marmalade, comeon, horrible, or like a fly

(17:37):
got in my wine. Yeah,well that's what happens when you sit outside
and you're drinking solve blank, likeflies are going to go in there can
get it by a mosquito. Doyou want a straw to fish it out?
Like I don't know to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. People are
ridiculous. Oh yeah, um,and yet somehow we deal with how many
twenty five hundred of them a week? Yeah? Yeah, and yet we're
still still doing it, still doingit. Yeah, I can't do anything

(17:57):
else. I've done a podcast aboutthis, an episode where I was like,
I'm just I'm dangerous. When itcomes to construction and carpentry, because
I can't build or fix anything.Um, I'm just incompetent in everything else.
Like, give me a glass andsome liquid, I'm okay at it.
I'm not a good bartender by anymeans. I'm like probably the world's
okayst bartender. But like, ifyou come in like as far as like

(18:18):
my people skills, I got you. That's what That's what it all is.
Though. Any any idiot can makea tentatonic. A machine can do
that. Yeah, the thing thatdoes that. As long as the service
is good, you can make theworst drink you can put out. The
worst food service is huge. Yeah. You know my nickname in medieval times
what service? When it was anight I was really incarnated perfect service?

(18:38):
Thank you? Actually it was Sirloine. Just kidding. Um. So you
moved from Arizona to Denver, YEPin August August, so you've only been
here a little while you're already managedone of like the biggest restaurants in the
city. Yeah, how'd you pullthat off? You know, I was
bartending in Westminster when I've first movedout here. I don't even know that

(19:00):
is that west of here? NorthWestminster is north of us. Why did
they call it Westminster. Okay,ay, it's me. Yeah, I
got a job. I got thatright before I moved out here. I
was like, perfect, got ajob. It'll pay the bills, I'll
figure out what I want to do. I had no intentions of going to
the service industry after that, orjust like you know, bartend here and

(19:21):
there and do other stuff on theside. I wasn't sure. I had
no idea. I just moved herewith like no notice. I had no
idea what was to come. Andthen I hated that job. Did you
know anybody here or just picked upand left? Yeah, I picked up
and left. I have a friendin Frisco, but I was like waiting
on friends for a couple of yearsto be ready to move with me.
And then it got to a pointwhere my lease was up at the end

(19:41):
of July and no one was readyto move, and I'm like, fuck
it, I'm out. I'm doingit myself. I'm just going, like
best decision I ever made, too. Okay, Yeah, that is the
beauty of bartending in the service industry. You can go anywhere, survive and
make money. So if you gotthat like like that wander less spirit,
like it's perfect, and you'll meetpeople, you'll make friends, like something
happened back maybe yeah. I meanit's a small town where I lived Collegetown.

(20:03):
So I'm twenty seven and I wasold, like me being in the
industry at twenty seven, I wasold for that. I'm like, what
this sucks. Everyone was twenty twoor younger in college. I get that.
I check IDs. Everyone's born afterI graduated high school. It's like
kind of shocking to me, Likeeven me, I'm born in ninety five,
but I check IDs and I'm like, wow, two is twenty one.
I remember when you reminded me ofhow you listen to the podcast where

(20:26):
nine to eleven happened and I wastalking about being with a waitress on mall.
You're like, oh, yeah,we were taking out of our kindergarten
class. YEP, I got pulledout of kindergarten first. This is my
boss. Everybody, Yeah, yeah, crazy, yeah it Uh. I
moved out here. Hated that jobso much, and I was like,
you know what, fuck it,I'm just gonna look for another job.
I don't even care I'll do inthe industry. I just need to get

(20:47):
out of the job. It wasto get out of Westminster. Yeah,
I mean I was driving twenty fourmiles a day to go to work too
in from and I wasn't even Theydid a tip pool, but you had
to do it based off sales,and if you started it at a table
and they walked up to the bar, the bartender would steal your tab.
Oh no, no, no,it's horrible, and vice versa. And
it was terrible. So I waslike, you know what, get me
out of here. So I leftwent on Indeed, I'd think I just

(21:11):
went on Google, actually, andI just looked up bar manager jobs because
I figured the bartending to get ajob bartending in Denver without knowing anyone,
who's actually pretty hard, like comingin fresh and just like trying to apply
for bar jobs. They want youto start from the bottom everywhere. Yeah,
and I'm like, I'm not startingas a host. I'm not doing
it. So I looked at allthese bar jobs I applied, and weirdly,

(21:34):
you know, I'm used to workingin a city where I knew everyone.
I had so many connections. Icould have got a job doing anything,
and then moving somewhere where I knewliterally no one. So I was
just looking up jobs, and Avantiwas listening for managers and I was like,
you know, I'll try it.I'll just apply. I had seen
it applied and yeah, I gotan email back, I think the next

(21:55):
day. It happened pretty quick.Yeah, it happened pretty quick. I
went in for a few interviews anddid astage and yeah, my first job.
I knew someone from Aspen. Theykind of recruited me out to come
out and help open this fine diningrestaurant. Yeah, the menu changed.
It oh so hard to get itjust opened up. The menu changed daily.
But I was so busy juicing lime, lemon, grapefruit, orange juice

(22:17):
like fresh every day. I hadno time to look at what the menu
was that day. And I wouldget so stressed out before lineup when the
chef was gonna like quiz everybody Iwanted, like I would fantasize about,
and I was okay with it atone point, being like I'm just gonna
cut off my pinkie and go tothe er so I can get out of
lineup and they can reattach. Itlike this was like I would. I
honestly think, you know, Iwas so stressed and I was like fuck

(22:38):
it, and so then I wentto a vuntie and got the job.
And I told that story in aprevious podcast. But um, you've been
managing, you've been bartending, youmust have seen some some shit go down
in your career. Yeah, giveme, give me something wild, Like
what's something that's like, because Ido this podcast to like let people know
what goes on, like what ourjob is when we punched in the clock

(23:00):
and we go to work. It'snot like you know, Becky at the
project manager. Yeah, Like,so give me an idea, like,
you know, I would say thecraziest place, the craziest stories that I
have are at the country club thatI worked at. A country club,
I would think, but a countryclub. Yeah, it was a public
It was a public country club.And the thing was so I lived in

(23:21):
Flagstaff, Arizona. It's not likenormal Arizona. You know, it's seven
thousand feet elevation, It snows,the summers are beautiful, you know,
like eighty to ninety ninety max forthe weather. You know, it's beautiful.
Yeah, it's a great but youknow it's only two hours away from
Phoenix. So in the summertime there, everyone comes up to Flagstaff yep.
So all you get all the golfers. I don't know if you've ever been

(23:41):
to Scottsdale, Snotsdale, they're allScottsdale's like the Orange County of Arizona exactly,
totally. Yeah, they're all snobs, they're all whatever. So when
it's too hot to golf, theydrive up to Flagstaff and they can go
to this public country club and golfwhatever. I see a girl on the
golf course left. Wow. Idon't like the golfers. No, they're

(24:03):
horrible. I mean I worked ata golf course for four years. I
got to golfer free out of principle. I was like, I just hate
golfers now because I hadn't deal withthem for so. Yeah, it's awful,
it's terrible. Yeah. So theywould all come up and sponsored by
golf, sponsored by what is itping? Oh yeah, yeah. The
close are ridiculous, and I seethe girls in the cleats and stuff.

(24:25):
Well, because you have to havea dress code. That's the worst part
about golf is it's like you can'tgo out there unless you have a collared
shirt. You have to have.Well, it's horrible. Do you know
what it used to mean? Whatgolf it was. It was I think
it was a Scotland. It wasinvented and it was like for guys only.
It was called gentlemen only, LadiesForbidden Golf. Is that actually what
I'm I'm pretty sure that's true.Even if it's not, that's amazing Google

(24:48):
that. I'll google it after thispodcast and I look like an idiot.
Yeah, hit pause, google itand then come back anyway, So go
ahead. So yeah, it's worse. Yeah, it was just the worst,
you know. I mean, soI would be a shift lead there
too, so I'd shift lea andthen bartend, but you know, kind
of do whatever. And in thesummer days we opened two hours earlier because
we had breakfast the golf, thecart girls had to go out and whatever.
So I was like those early teatimes, and you know, I

(25:12):
was like, sure, I'll getextra hours and I got to manage for
three hours but still bartend, soI get to clock in as a manager
and get paid more and then alsobartend at the same time. So that
was like, yeah, that wasmy gig on the weekends and I made
great money doing it, like ridiculousmoney. So I would get the cart
girls out and do their inventory.So you know, this one girl was
our cart girl and we did theirinventory and stuff because you know, obviously

(25:34):
they get crazy out there there.Yeah they're not yeah, drinking with the
guys like body shots. We hadsome crazy car girls and I'm like,
I respect the hustle, but reallyyeah, yeah, so does. One
girl started making her own sandwiches andselling them on the cart, like selling
her own food. Oh yeah.Which she would also leave the money bag

(25:55):
on the cart and just walk inside. We had an iPad to do transaction.
She would just leave it, sowe'd start stealing it. She would
be like, oh no, mydad, were's the money, and were
like, we just left it outside. She was crazy, But you know,
we do their inventory, and Iknew exactly what was going out.
They sold the same product as inthe restaurant. The amount of people that
would walk in with their own alcoholwould just be ridiculous. And I had
all male managers and neither none ofthem had a fucking spine, like they

(26:18):
would not tell people shit. SoI kind of adopted that I'll kick people
out, all eighty six people.Yeah, if they were creepy, I'm
like, I'll handle this in mybartending uniform, not even management. Like
I'm wearing a little black V neckand jeans and I'm walking up to people
as this twenty two year old likeyelling at guys because our managers wouldn't do
it. So that's I think whyI love doing it now. But you

(26:41):
know, people walk in with theirown alcohol and I'm like, hey,
we don't serve that here, yougot to throw it out. I was
nice at first, Oh I gotit from the car girl. Car girl
sells our stuff. Take it towardsit. Like after doing it for a
year or two, I would justwalk up and take it out of their
hand and throw it out right infront of it. And it's like grown
ben and they throw a hissy fitand I'm like, oh, really throwing
a fit over a Pacifico? Likecome on, like, we don't sew

(27:03):
that here. You're gonna cry overa warm beer? Like, get over
it? And I was just somean to people, like is it because
you lost out there on the coursetoday? No, are you playing a
bad game? And none of themwere from flak Stuff. It was a
small town. Everyone they were sonice and welcoming. You knew people were
from Scott's worl. Yeah, thisone group came in. I was bartending
at the time, and it wasa group I think of like twelve guys

(27:26):
from Scott's Dale, all in theirlike thirties, forties, fifties. Oh
my god, honestly terrible. Youknow, smoking cigars outside smoke they well,
they tipped the We had a shackoutside where you could buy you know,
it was like the golf shack whereyou could buy alcohol, and then
we had the main bar, andthen we had cart girl. They tipped
the shack girl the cart girl eachfive hundred dollars, right, which is

(27:48):
great, And they were stoked andthey're like, yeah, they're creepy,
but like whatever, I got fivehundred dollars out of it. And I
was like, I'll say something ifyou want me to say something, and
they're like it's fine. So I'mlike, okay. One of our drink
runners at the time, she's soyoung, she's like eighteen, just running
drinks. Cute little girl, andI'm bartending and she cuts she had straws
in her back pocket, comes inand they are like saying all these like

(28:11):
derogatory things are about these straws andtalking about her butt. And all this
stuff, and she's like shooking up. Managers don't do anything. So I
was like, oh, well,I'll go do it. And I was
like watch the bar. I gotthis. I'll just go do it.
And I walk outside. Yeah,I walk outside. One of our servers
was like, well, I'll justbe there for like male presence, and
I'm like, whatever you want todo, dude, Like I don't need
it, but if you want to, for sure. So I go out

(28:33):
there, and of course I walkup and they're like, oh, like
she's walking up, they're gonna dothe same thing to me. They have
the girl that's in the shack outsitting at their table and he's holding onto
her arm and I'm like, firstof all, no, So I walk
out and they're like, oh,hey, what's up. And I'm like,
hi, guys, because the bestway to like fuck up a male's
ego is flirt with them and thentear them down right away. So tell

(28:55):
me about it. Yeah, SoI started, you know, talking about
I'm like, Hi, how wasit your day? You know, I'm
gonna have to ask you guys toleave. I'm like what, and I'm
like, yeah, well, youwere being inappropriate with my drink runner with
multiple servers, like I've gotten multiplecomplaints about you today, and like,
Nope, wasn't us. Wasn't us? And I was like, oh really,
because you're holding onto her arm rightnow. I had to pry his

(29:17):
hand off of her arm. Sheimmediately runs inside. I was like,
yeah, yeah, right, I'mlike automatic, Like even if it was
just for that, I'll kick youguys out. You're also not smoke cigars
whatever. They starting, do youhow much money we spent here? I
was like, do you know howmuch money we do here a year?
Like I actually could care less.And also I'm a bartender. I don't
care how much money you guys makethis place, like get out my other

(29:40):
Yeah. Our director of ops walksup, sees it all happening, and
then he's like he knows if I'mhandling it, it's an issue. So
he's like, all right, I'mgonna call the cops if you guys don't
get out of here in like fiveseconds. Yeah, turn into a whole
thing. You tried to pay usoff in my I will give my director
of ops this credit. He hada lot of things that he did,
but one thing he always didn't wecreep kicked out. Creepy guys was if

(30:02):
their tab wasn't paid. He goes, you can cash out, and he
goes, I want to tip.He goes, don't worry, I'll tip,
and I'll probably tip him more thanyou would have. Yeah, and
he would. He'd pull out cashfrom his wat and he'd give it to
the server twenty percent, twenty fivepercent and give it to him. It
was just a lot of that.I mean, you work at a lot
of places, you see a lot, but seeing rich older men that have

(30:22):
to like put them in their placewas really that's gratifying. That's fun.
Yeah. I had to do thata lot. Jesus, I know now.
I'm like, when guys are creepyor anything towards someone, I immediately
like a hawk. I'm like,do you want me to kick him out?
I will. Yeah. Yeah.It's weird having security now, Yeah,
and they and you still have todo it. He's like, look,
you know, we had the guythe other day. It was like
he had his shirt off and rubbingsnow all over his chest and I look

(30:45):
over in security's like in his phoneon his phone. I'm like, what's
going on? What are we doing? Here. What are we paying you
for? Yeah? Insane? Yeah? Um. Annoying customers, annoying guests,
what's your what's your take? Youever have to deal with one that
you're just like, are you kiddingme right now? Are you? Like?
Because I get people like, yo, give me a beer, I'm

(31:06):
like, can you be more specific? Or my favorites? Like when I'm
making the drink and then they handme the credit card, I'm like,
I'm sorry, I need both myhands right now, so can you hold
on to that for a second.Yeah, They're like holding it in front
of you the whole time and you'relike, yeah, give me literally one
second. Or the phone call,wait what do you want? And they're
on the phone and I'm like,no, oh my god, with food
and people calling to go orders.Yeah, I mean, service industry is

(31:27):
just that, like people suck,but you just kinda learn how to deal
with them. If you get madat every customer that comes in that says
something stupid, you're gonna just ruinit the whole day at work, and
you're gonna ruin your whole day.It's gonna go. Yeah, if you
come out in a good mood,like you're gonna you're not gonna remember their
conversation. Try to gently. Likeevery episode I give a tip on how

(31:47):
to behave in a bar, sohopefully people listen to this and they understand,
like certain things are stupid, butlike, do you have anything of
like a really like incredible sucky personthat stands out that like you would like
to share with people an incredibly suckyperson. Yeah, customer wise, yeah,
oh man, there's so many wayI actually have the flip side of

(32:08):
that where I went into the servicesomeone working in the service industry yesterday made
me so mad you as a guest, yes, oh, let's hear it.
Yeah, I went to Beaver Creekyesterday with snowboarding. All right,
A fucking good for you getting outthere and going snowboarding. Yeah, b
hold onto that thought, because see, I can't go out as a service

(32:29):
industry employee because I feel guilty thewhole time. Yeah, but that's where
that's wrong. That's where like peoplethat are in the service industry that are
mean or rude or complained about everyguest that gives us that guilt, And
I think that's messed up. Ijust see somebody working hard or something.
I'll take a warm miller light inlike a tequila and a broken glass,
and I won't say anything inst ohyeah, same, oh yeah, absolutely,

(32:51):
like I won't complain. It takesa lot to make me complain.
Like for me, I have aDaiology. So if I say, like,
no dairy and they bring it out, I'm gonna be like, dude,
I have to I'm so sorry,like I can't have this, and
I if I said it, ifI didn't say it, I'll be like
someone else can have it, andI'll pay for it full price because I
forgot. Yeah yeah, like I'mtotally that way. But no, I
went I went out and you knowthey have food halls or you just kind
of go in, you order,you pay, they when you go in

(33:14):
to the specific logic. Can't rememberwhich one it was, but all the
menus are like up top, sowhen you walk in, you're immediately looking
up. Well, they have asign down below, a really small sign
written in chalk that says the baris upstairs and it's only open from these
hours to these hours. But whenyou walk in, you're immediately looking up
the menu. Yeah, and it'snot where the menus are. It's small
and it's in the middle, soit's not where you look at all,

(33:36):
and then when you cash out,it's behind you. And we were looking
around we couldn't find the bar.We're like, hey, do you have
a bar in here? And shegoes, yeah, if you looked behind
you on that sign, you wouldsee that the bars upstairs and it's open
for this time. And I waslike, oh, yeah, I didn't
see that, and she's like,it's okay. I like teaching people really
simple things. Oh my. Andthen while I'm standing there and like doing

(33:57):
whatever, I hear her say thatto at least four people behind me,
and I'm like, clearly, ifyou have to say that to this many
people, the sign's not working.Yeah. Yeah, if you've got a
script right to correct people, likeyou're not right, they should have put
it by the stairs that said barupstairs or bar this way, but it
was like not where anybody looked.Yeah, it's like Gothic architecture then up
toward God, right, And I'mlike, okay, if you're this like

(34:20):
annoyed by people asking the sign isnot working, yeah, like come on,
you're working, you suck the wayyou're here. Yeah. I was
so annoyed, and I'm like Iwanted to go back in so badly and
be like tell her that, youknow, like if the sign isn't working,
like you know, just whatever.And then I'm like, you know
those people that write reviews. Iwas in the service industry for so long,
and you're like, shut the fun. Yeah, you're gonna be my
biggest problem. Yeah yeah, yeahyeah. They're like, can we have

(34:45):
seven green tea shots? Then theyadd one more when you're done, yeah,
and they're like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. You're like,
so I get it. Yeah,it's like no, if you were
cool, you would just order tequilashots with no souls. Yeah, literally,
yeah, seriously. So I waslike super annoyed. But as far
as customers go, I feel likewhere we worked now, it's so fast
paced that it's kind of hard todeal with people long term and hear them

(35:08):
complain. They kind of just getit and leave because they've been waiting so
long to get a drink or likewhatever. But working at places with food,
like oh my god, people wouldcomplain. The second you set the
food down. They look at itand you're like there's something wrong, and
they just off the top are like, oh it's cold, and you're like,
you haven't even tried it yet.Yeah, you know, they just
went. Yeah, they decided fromthe moment they walked in they weren't going

(35:31):
to have a good time. Ilove people who bitch about like waiting for
a drink because it's so busy.We're like, well, you're here,
you're contributing to that. Yeah.We had someone come in the other day
and they're like, you know,there's nowhere to park, there's not a
place to sit. And I'm like, it is a Friday at eight pm.
Yeah, and you're here, andyou're here. You chose to come
here, and you're in everybody else. You're in the Highlands in Denver,

(35:52):
like it's a popping area. LikeI don't know what you expected when you
came out on a Friday night,but sure, it's ridiculous people say expectations
versus what they're paying for. Likelike the tipping thing too, It's like
people don't understand, like we getpaid a low wage because we rely on
you to tip. So your coronais not eleven dollars, right, So
if you can make it eight ninebucks by tipping, we don't have to

(36:15):
charge you eleven dollars and then automaticallyput gratuity and pay us a living wage,
right, which is crazy because Americawould never do that anyway. America.
Fuck. All right, So youhad another crazy story. I think
murder. I've got to I've gottamurder, drama, murder, let's hear
it. Yeah, potential. Igotta use real fake names for this one,

(36:36):
real fake names, real fake names. Yeah. So it is.
When I was working at that countryclub, we got a lot of people
that had second homes up there,summer home so get away from the heat,
the opposite of snowbird, you know, right, And they would come
up and same thing, pretentious thatusually you know, if you have a
second home and flagstaff, you gotmoney. Like they're expensive up there.

(36:59):
So this guy came up. Itwas probably my second year into bartending.
I was still kind of that timidbartender, so I was just kind of
the fly on the wall for alot of the drama. But these two
girls that I was bartending with veryregularly now really good friends of mine.
They one of them, Um justloved the sugar daddy scene. All respect
to her, she was good atit. She fucking killed it, especially

(37:21):
for living in a small town,never had to outsource. I'm like,
good for you. Um, shestarted seeing this guy. I'm a salty
daddy yet do I know, right, it's too sweet? You know it's
my budget right, yeah, totallyinflation. Um. So she this guy
came up and he would come upevery summer. You know, they started

(37:42):
talking whatever. He became a sugardaddy, would hang out and he was
honestly really attractive. He had Ithink like a seven or eight year old
son. Um. Wife wasn't therefor a lot of the time because she
had to work down in Phoenix.Perfect right, perfect situation. He would
give his kid, Benna drill whenshe would come over, so he would
go to sleep. Yeah. Itwas terrible. Like so eventually the wife

(38:02):
finds out. She reaches out tothis girl and she's like, please stop
sleeping with my husband. And she'slike, you know, okay, okay,
okay, feels bad about it.Whatever circumstances happened, she continues to
sleep with him. It turns intothis big ordeal, right, and she's
like, like, you have tostop seeing her, you have to stop
sleeping him, Like this has gotto stop, and it's getting inappropriate.

(38:24):
Like the sun is there, Likeit's this whole thing, you know,
like having a dream about daddy withanother girl. Yeah right, Like you
didn't see anything, you know,you're just imagining things. But they would
come in all the time, likehim and his son. They would sit
at the bar whatever. And sofinally one day he's a doctor. By
the way, of course, ofcourse, um wife dies young, young

(38:46):
or late thirties, like young hm, and he tells her, you know,
like now we can finally be together. Whoa episode coming on? Right,
So there's this whole thing. Welike find her. We're reading all
the stuff. It was unexpected deathin her sleep. Oh my god.

(39:07):
Yeah, the potassium. Right,it could be anything, pillow like anything.
And when you're a doctor and youhave all these resources or even whatever,
you're a respectable person, you havea lot of money and you can
get a good lawyer, like it'sinsane. And he kept blowing up her
phone after this because that was herfirst initial reaction. We're like, dude,
he killed his wife. Yeah,sure, yeah, he killed his

(39:28):
wife. She's like twenty two yearsold. She's freaking out. We're like,
you gotta get away from this guy. And he would come she moved
to one of our sister restaurants.They opened a new one. She helped
opened it. So she was goneand he would come in the next summer.
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Looking for
her? And we all knew whereshe was, but like she moved,
she's gone, like out of thestate. Yeah, she was like nobody.

(39:50):
No, No, it's so scarybecause we're like dude, like,
and he would bring his son intoo. It's like him and the sun.
Oh, we doesn't have a momanymore. I know. Oh my
god, crazy and we're like,dude, these people out here will do
You're just gonna get divorced. Idon't get it. First of all,
don't get married, right, it'sa terrible business decision, right, it
should be like it should be likea wide receiver contract five years with the

(40:12):
option to radio for one year after. Yeah, totally. It's like you
needed to get married like in theeighteen hundreds when you needed a family to
survive the winter. Right now,like everyone has their own jobs, they
have their own money. There's noneed, there's no need. Well,
it's crazy because I feel like alot of people that have money that are
married got married before they had money, like she was right like now,
she was probably there when he wasa struggling med student, like, you

(40:35):
know, I'm gonna help you getthrough school, right and then and then
now I'm rich and I he probablyhad his glow up when he was in
his thirties. You know, he'srich and just got more attractive and whatever.
And I was like, damn,I can't believe I'm married with a
kid. It was just horrible.And he would come in looking for her,
and we're like, I would neverget married, Like I would never
subject somebody to me for life,puss. It would run out of stuff
to say eventually, so I wouldjust be sitting there and McDonald's in the

(41:00):
morning, you know, just eatingyou know, bacon biscuits, probably getting
yelled. Old people are so quiet, Yeah, they said, one of
us is gonna go. Who's gonnabe? Yeah? But what if you
meet someone in your sixties and you'relike, all right, now, I
got to backtrack all these years.I couldn't do it. I just hate
relationships. Um yeah, I justif I had a relationship, I would

(41:24):
want her to have another relationship justtake the pressure off of me. And
I would want to have a relationshiptotally. It's hard. It's like having
your own space, having your ownyeah, anything you're like your own bathroom,
you need your own wing, youknow, just sleeping alone. Sometimes
I'm like, oh my god,I just want to like put on a
show, spread out, like chillshow for like your relationship. Yeah,

(41:47):
totally, all right, am Icrazy? What's the deal with your right?
Oh god? Are you putting ona show right now? Um?
Yeah? I would want like,you know, separate wings. Like when
I live with the enemy, itwas like a two bedroom because I knew
going into it the enemy we wouldend up in our own rooms, and
sure enough that happened. That's whatI've always said. If I were to
move in with a guy, Iwould want two rooms absolutely. And everybody

(42:09):
always thinks I'm like heartless, butwhat if you're sick? Yeah, or
I'm just like tonight, I justreally want to sleep in my own bed.
What if they don't have a comfortor that I want to sleep in
all the time. But if theydon't want to sleep in my comforter,
yeah, I'm like cool, Wellyou can have yours and I can have
mine. And I hate the youknow, the morning thing, like where
you snuggle and then your arms numband you're awake the whole time, but
you can't move. You don't wakeher up, and you're tingling and you

(42:31):
pick up your hand and look atit and dropped on your face. Yeah,
it looks like it's a fake arm, just like dangling in the wind.
Yeah, and you still have thecondom on. You're just gonna get
out of the apartment, so youdon't even stop to put your socks on.
You just shove them in the backpockets and step into your shoes.
Yeah, uber, or you forgetthem all together. Yeah, you just
you can see you later. Socks. Yeah, yeah, by I don't
need those anymore. Yeah, they'relike shoved in the side of the bed

(42:52):
in the wall. Maybe that's whyguys leave their socks on. I never
do this. First things to comeoff. Socks. Yeah, it's so
gross. Some guys have gross ass, stinky feet. It's gross when they
leave them on. You're like doingit. Yeah, it is. But
also like some guys they have nopersonal hygiene. Yeah, I guess I
can see that. You know,it's like leave your shoes outside type shit.
Like when the socks come off,you're like, oh, can you
put those back on? Yeah?Yeah, really, yeah, Jesus,

(43:15):
it's you know, I used today to dancer and she had that.
It was not not cool. No, that's not cool. There's things.
It's twenty it's you know, it'stwenty twenty three. Figure it out.
Figure it out. There's resources.Yeah, look it up. Look it
up. Google is free. Allright, jess uh, Well, I'm
glad we had this talk. We'reat the forty two minute mark. We

(43:36):
did it. That's a good commutethere and back again. Like the Hobbit.
Oh what top? All right?Nice, I've been to New Zealand.
I actually saw hobbitson did you really? Yeah? Wow? So have
you watched Rings of Power on Amazon? I haven't yet. I went through
a phase where I'm like, Ijust need to watch funny stuff for a
little bit. Okay, you know, but it's on my list. It's

(43:58):
excellent. Yeah, love the Hobbit. There's a lot of people that I
label when they come into a vaunteand they suck, like if this was
Middle Earth, you'd be doucio bagging. Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
Yeah, So you can use thatif you need too. Perfect all right,
well that was Jess. Everybody,just the manager. Thanks for tuning
into Behind Bars Barbarians, and we'regonna see you in a couple of weeks.

(44:19):
Cheers you want to see good byeJess, see you later. Guys,
Well it's last call, so letme give you a tip. If
it's dick busy and you still havea full drink in front of you,
don't ask me for the check.I know how much liquid time I have
to get you out of here.Folks, it's been a blast. You
don't have to go home, butyou can't stay here. And a call
to my fellow boost slingers. Sendin your stories to Cocktails and Wasted Nights

(44:43):
at gmail dot com. You canremain anonymous if you'd like. Thanks for
listening, subscribing, downloading, andspreading the word. Don't be afraid to
give me a good review, evenif you're lying. It really does help
build our community of barbarians. Andcheck out my video. Just close it
on YouTube. You will laugh,damn it. If you want to support
the podcast, you can do thaton Patreon. I've got a series on

(45:04):
there called Counterpoints and it's pretty hilarious. It's a whopping three bucks a month,
but it helps keep the lights on. Links in the show notes.
We'll see you next time on BehindBars, Cocktails, and Wasted Nights. Cheers,