Episode 53- The Night I Interviewed Timmy Me Boy

Cropdusting Celebrities, Malort, The Porn Identity, Popeye's Swollen Colon, Cheers Clinking Etiquette and Tales of Three Crackheads

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Thinking that. My lord, it'slike better for me than than like doing
regular liquor. I'm like, oh, let's like it's a test too.
If it's good for your don't helpmy stomach. I'm gonna put that on
at the end. Give it acheck a check one two, check one
two, check one two. Soall right, we wanted to get you
in the red if we can.Let me pull this up, like not

(00:20):
pinning it, but like just enteringthe red. Yeah, check one two,
check one two, check one two, check one two. All right,
cool me one second. Everybody.Welcome to episode fifty three of Behind
Bars, Cocked Tails and Wasted Nights. This is a this is a great

(00:41):
one. I've been trying to getthis guy in for a while. Episode
fifty three. This is my buddywho I work with, Timmy Me Boy,
Timmy Me Boy. What's up,buddy? How's it going, Greig?
It's going good man. I'm reallypsyched to have you in here tonight.
This is great. Uh, Timmy'sgot all kinds of stories, Timmy
Me Boy from Chicago, Right,that's how you got into Is that where
you started? I'm from Northwest Indiana, but I've spent most of my adult

(01:03):
life in Chicago. That's where youcut your teeth. Yes, and you
were like second city, was it? Yeah? I did some Second City.
I mostly hung out in areas inthe same neighborhood, but yeah,
I did some Second city classes toa little improv to some Oh you're a
yes and guy. Yes, yesI am, and I am also other
things. But yeah, many hatsin improv. So did you start bartending

(01:26):
in Chicago? I started bartending inNorthwest Indiana. What kind of bar was
that? It was a chain Mexicanrestaurant called Don Populos, which is now
completely and totally defunct because you left. Oh yeah, that's the strength.
Yeah, yeah, that's the onething. I had quite a few fun
co workers there. You probably gotsome good stories about that place too,
if we really think about it.Also, you're in Northwest Indiana, probably

(01:48):
not a lot to do, andthen you get some of you guys around
some booze in a professional environment,and I'm sure it got unprofessional oh many
times. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, it's hard to get on professional in
a chain environment. Yeah. Oh, you'd be surprise, Uh oh surprise,
Well it was, you know,it's more about there was definitely a
lot of people there that I workedwith that had severe drug problems, as

(02:09):
is Matthew out there. No,it was it was a lot of pills
there, okay, Yeah, andthen there was a good amount of coke.
I had a fomer former co workerwho used to be a marine recruiter
who was probably like the best serverI've ever met in my entire life.
Like, the dude could sell waterto a drowning person, for sure.
He's like, oh this span hewould like people would be like, oh

(02:30):
this this Uh, I dropped myfork and he just like pick it up
off the ground and just like putin his mouth and be like better.
No, right, and they justand they would obviously not be into it.
And then he'd go get him anew fork, or he'd like upsell
him. If you went to thebar with this guy, he'd be like
yeagers for everybody and be like,no, no one wants fucking yagers,
dude, And then he'd just belike, no, you're gonna you're gonna

(02:52):
drink or yeager. You're gonna havea yeager. You have to have this
yeager. And then you just forciblydo yeager with this really aggressive former marine
recruiter. Yeah, you know,I'm gonna say notice, yeah, exactly.
And he was like drinking on thejob, drinking, oh yeah,
constantly always, and I mean andso he did so much cocaine that he
had no more deviated septem He wouldtake his finger and push it on his
nose into it, like fat,flat against the space. Uh. So

(03:14):
so one day he we're you know, I'm trying to get some weed and
we're like at the bar and he'sjust like, all right, we're gonna
I'm just testing my nose. Everybody. You can't see this. Yeah,
it's an audio podcast. There's stillsomething I'm like, am I there?
It's structurally sound. Yeah, you'regood. You can't take a punch to
the no. Yeah. So Inegotiated a type of fights about to happen.
Make sure he brings some sort ofbridge protection. Yeah. Um so.

(03:37):
So so he claims that he canhe can get me some weed.
And he's like, all right,let's get you some weed. So we
leave the bar, jump in hiscar and he is going like nine yeah
and then um and I'm like,we're driving straight into Gary, Indiana because
that's where you get drugs. Anduh, we're teaching the listener. Yeah

(03:58):
exactly. Yeah. Indiana. Yeah, if you're northwest Indiana, drive into
the former capital of the world andmaybe you'll see the old fucking Michael Jackson
House. All right, a littletrick here, since we're on at the
old Michael Jackson House, Gary,Indiana, let's put a little pin in
that for a second. When youare traveling folks and you need to do
stuff like we just talked about,my thing that always works. I go
to the local strip joint. You'regonna pay for it, they're gonna tax

(04:20):
it, but you're gonna get it. Yeah, you get that connection.
It's easier than asking your random bartenderat a change drugs. They would come
in and aspen and people from allover the place, and they I would
always know because they'd approached the bar, they'd look left, they'd look right.
I'm like, either you're gonna tellme a black joke, you're gonna
ask me for cocaine. Yeah,exactly. Both. Yeah, yeah,
so yeah, we're both. Ye. And I mean that's the thing.

(04:43):
It's like, here's here's a littlefact to it. I don't know if
anyone's aware of this, is yeah, you're drug You're I'm sorry your bartender
can get you drugs, but thenthey will no longer be allowed to get
drugs because their guy does not wantsome random asshole from the bar calling them
up on a Saturday night like onethirty go between two. You don't give
him there, but like you brokeher the deal. But at the same

(05:04):
time, it's like I've barked init. Yeah exactly. I can't run
out, Yeah exactly, So evenfor you, Tim does let me run
out everybody that's pretty good, youknow, I'm I'm I'm why don't you
get into miseratti? Why's he doinga la? He's lap around the block,
he's working, he's working. Well, that's the thing about trying to
hook up some random person is thatlike, yeah, I could go out

(05:25):
of my way to get this foryou, but I met you at a
bar when I'm working for tips,where me getting you a beer gets twenty
percent. So here, meanwhile,I got to drive across town to get
you fucking cocaine. I don't evendo cocaine. No, Yeah, I'm
like, I'm gonna go through allthis effort just to literally like I'm sorry,
you're gonna throw me any extra ontop? Yeah, that's not how
it goes. No, nor soGary, Indiana. He's gonna get the

(05:45):
weed. You guys are speeding ina car. Yes, So we're flying
through, blowing red lights left andright, because you know again, former
marine drug addict alcoholic can do whateverthe fuck he wants. So I'm run
the way and he goes uh.He goes hey, so, um,
I'm gonna smoke some crack and I'mlike yeah, yeah, yeah, And
I'm like what And I'm like,i mean, like when why? He's

(06:06):
like all day every day. Sohe's so he's telling me this because,
as it turns out, not tickingme to get weed, taking me on
a crack deal because he thought maybeI would want to smoke some crack with
him. He's a lonely crackhead.He was like, Hey, this guy
and I we got a vibe thatI yeah, exactly. He's totally willing
to be my crack smoking buddy.Marijuana is a gateway drop, yeah exactly.

(06:30):
So he's the Yeah, he's totallybelieving all those talking points. And
then so we get to a gasstation in the middle of Gary and he
definitely buys crack and then we jumpback in the car, and this dude
such ripping it open ravenously like thepackages of crack, because he needs that
crack and he needs it now.So he just like grabs out his crack
pipe. Stuff's a little fucking ohno, no, there's steps. Oh

(06:55):
yeah, you gotta put you gottarip up your brillo pad with your teeth,
and you gotta jam that into yourcrack pipe because you don't want the
crack to fall through and burn yourthroat. And you know the snow is
already fucked. He needs to keepthat throat going. That's probably what happens.
Started smoking blow sounds like this becauseyou know brillo pets are expensive,
like melted straws. Oh yeah.Immediately, so he's he's smoking crack driving

(07:17):
down the highway a gun back toninety and and he's like, he's like,
so you're gonna smoke some crack withme. I'm like, no,
dude, I'm not. And he'slike, you know, I can make
you smoke crack with me, right, And I'm like, yes, you
could hit me a bunch of times, but I promise you I still will
not smoke crack with you in thecar while you're driving night miles an hour.
I'm like, just doesn't seem likea logical thing to do. And
we got pulled over. Oh no, right, oh god? And um,

(07:41):
you know this is Indiana's it's knownfor its progressivism and it's a very
you know this, yeah it is. It's a deep blue state, deep
deep blue. So um. Sothis cop comes up. He's got his
marine shit all over. Dude pullsout like his military ID to show him
that first. And then the copyou know again, stinking like melted plastic,

(08:01):
clearly inebriated a viruses, looked likecoast oh yeah yeah, and his
eyes right as the devil's dick.And and this CoP's just like all right,
sure, thank you for your service, and then just send us on
our way to go back to thebar. And then like, fortunately Jeff
did. He did not force meto smoke crack, but he did get

(08:24):
to the bar and become the mostpathetic person I've ever met, as he
was like, please don't tell anybodyabout this. I'm so sorry. Please
don't tell anybody about Don't tell anyone. I'm like, I'm going to tell
everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because this is hil Yeah that you
tricked me into going on a crackrun. But also, yeah, good
story, dude. Sorry fuck yeah. Eventually he never got the weed.
You just didn't get anyway, andthen he took me back to the bar.

(08:46):
That's fine. Yeah, and thenuh, eventually, you guys would
have been terrible and Lord of theRing. Yeah yeah, right before he
moved Chicago, that guy gave mehis couch. Oh yeah, did you
find any cracking? No, Imean, you know what, We got
up there and it wouldn't fit throughthe door, so we just chucked it
into dumpster. Oh nice. Atthe end of that story, which is
I'm sure where he ended up eventuallyand the dumpster. He also supposedly had

(09:09):
like a porn career where he wasa played like a marine and I'm must
stretch. Yeah, he said itwasn't gay porn, but don't you know
what they say about gay porn.It's a pain in the ass, but
it pays. Well. Yeah,I don't know if this will stay on
here, but Sergeant Stroker I thinkwas the name, if the of his
his his porn identity, I don'tknow, identity identity said, I smell

(09:33):
franchise coming up, you got that'sa good spin off. Y. You
wake up on set and you're likecovered in loud, be like what happened?
Who don't remember anything? But Ihave a certain set of skills.
Now that's taken. That's another Ohwhat's his name? David Webb? David
Webb? So, oh god,what was I gonna say? Porn identity?
What were we talking about? Oh? So I worked with this dude
in la I had his two checksas a sports bar kind of thing,

(09:58):
Mad Bulls, tavern Sherman Oaks.And on my left was the girl who
won like Big Brother season whatever three. She was known as the Thong Girl.
And to my right is this guyFrankie, who was like the main
guy for all the skin Amax movies. Okay, And so girls would come
up to me like, oh mygod, look at that, Like do
you know who that is? Oh? Yes, Frankie's fucking slow as fun.

(10:18):
No, no, he's the guylike all the skin Amax movie I'm
like, I don't, I don'tknow. So if you don't watch Skinamax,
know this hardcore porn on the internet? Exactly? Yeah, why am
I gonna watch this? Dude?I worked with where cock sock and simulate
sex got a subscription service when Ican very easily use dial up. And
yeah, a very very very longtime. What in a cornic Oh,

(10:41):
man, I've definitely spent spent likedays waiting for thirty second clips. Yeah,
but it was herkey jerky. Itwasn't high resident streaming kids these days.
I don't even know how difficult itwas to you used to have to
snag a Playboy out of a gasstation, put it under your shirt,
tuck it into your pants, bendover when you walk into the house,
and then go hide it somewhere whileyou built a fort outside that house.

(11:03):
It in the woods. Yeah,there's gonna be like fucking three D hologram
fucking sex in your living room ina year or two. We had like
a troubled kid in school that wehung out with in middle school who we
would pay money to go steal thingsfrom the Walgreens nearby. Nice. Yeah,
and porn was a very frequent youknow request, and that in candy
bars mostly. It's such funny,man. I had a friend of mine

(11:26):
in la who had a show onComedy Central about being a con artist.
I'll just say that because I don'twant to plug the show or him,
because he sucks. But one ofhis cons was like the Doctor Phil prank
and he would go to this newsstand outside of Gower Studios whose dirty jobs
wasn't And it was it was,it was, it was. It was.
We'll take that playboy, we'll takethat Club International. We need three

(11:48):
packs of Parliaments, candy bar anda Gatoray put it on the Doctor Phil
tab and they did. Yep,they did. Doctor Phil was buying us
like pornomax and cigarettes. It doesn'tknow it. I mean, he's not
even a real doctor. So I'msorry. You don't want to throtiate on
doctor Phil six seven years of collegein the different situation? What is wrong
with you? Why don't you kickhim to the curb. I think that

(12:11):
her family has a great opportunity herefor some growth. Timmy me boy with
a Doctor Phil impersonation. Nice.I was expecting that that's in my wheelhouse.
Yeah. So you leave crack Gary, Indiana and you go to Chicago.
How old are you? Uh soI had had in between stint of
I lived in Indianapolis for a likea year, not even not quite a

(12:37):
year, and then uh then Ithink I was like twenty Were you there
like when her Bowmeister was murdering gaypeople in Indianapolis. When was that,
I don't know. It's like likelate nineties, early or mid nineties,
but I don't I was not.That was probably more like two thousand six.
I don't know. A great serialkiller. Everybody look him up,

(13:00):
her Bowmeister, Great Indianapolis missed opportunity. Yeah, yeah, dude, he
would bring people back to his poollike eighties and like drug him and like
suffocating, but like they would hangout his indoor pool, like he owned
like a water indoor pool and setup everywhere. Like how creepy would that
be? We know how hard itis to find a pool in Indiana,
all right, It's like there's liketwo months a year where you could enjoy

(13:22):
your outdoor pool. So indoor pool, that's saying something. I mean shit,
I'd let him murder me. Yeah, yeah, I just want to
get Yeah you want to get somepool time, man, Yeah, get
a little strangula. You know.But can you imagine, like you go
back with this dude, you don'tknow, he's got this great house indoor
pool and there's fucking weird, creepymannequins sitting every dude I would take that
over going home with Jeffrey Dahmer andhe's got like a tiny little shit apartment

(13:43):
that smells roughly of boiled flesh.That's true. Like, yeah, so
you don't even get the pool.Yeah, who do you get murdered by?
Yeah, exactly, you got yougotta be choosy about that shit.
Yeah. Plus, he, likeJeffrey Donald, will try to keep you
alive for a while, stuff likethat, try to turn you into a
zombie. Well, I mean I'dprefer like HJ. Holmes. I mean,
the man's got his own hotel.I mean yeah, yeah, is

(14:05):
that you get amenities? You know, it's nice, you know the Continental
breakfast, which I imagine it's prettygood. Said against the backdrop of the
World's Fair, some people weren't gettingmurdered, and those people, I want
to know how that breakfast was,Like, yeah, was it good?
Tastes like chicken, Yeah, justa little gamy. Belgian waffles were very

(14:26):
popular that year at the World's Fair. Jesus, We're going to hell.
So all right, so where werewe had a we had a you're an
Indianapolis and you had a gig there, Bartendy, uh No, in Indianapolis.
I worked at a guitar center andI mostly, uh, did you
know, did hallucinogens? I thinkpredominantly when I was there, that was

(14:46):
most of what I was doing.There was a lot of acid. No
one interests me is like, you'renot from there, but you go there
less than a year. You findthe people oh yeah, that have the
acid, and you find each other. We do, right, there's connection,
like you make it the eyes.You're like me, Yeah, there's
something in you, some some deepemptiness that you're filling with something and I

(15:07):
hope it's a drug that I like. Yeah, it's pretty much. Yeah.
I mean that band said there wereso many just weird like odds,
you know, rural Indiana, centralIndiana, things that happened there when it
came to like we were we wereall on an acid trip. And then

(15:28):
two of my friends who were there, their parents showed up in the middle
of the trip to take them ona we need to talk to you talk
Oh no, well he's yeah,well yeah, well both of them,
two of them, two of theirparents there were cousins and their their family
got there to go and have awalk. Well that we had all done
three hits of acid, and theywere just like in yeah, oh man,
and they like it's funny because theythought it was us that we were

(15:52):
the bad influences. We came fromout of town, but no, we
got all the drugs from the Yeah, yeah exactly, like they're the reason
why we could do it. Butyeah, so they want to walk to
him back. I never they nevertold me what happened. They're like,
hey, what because again we're stillall tripping, and so I'm like,
what happened. They're like I don'twant to talk about it. You know,
of course, let's just move onand be like cool, all right,
Great, the rest of the nightwas fantastic. Yeah, and acids,

(16:14):
Like so like your environment, everything, the mood, the energy is
like it could take a turn likethat. Oh totally yeah. Yeah.
You gotta you gotta know who you'rewith. Like yeah, I remember like
the first time I took acid,I ended up tripping for two and a
half days because like I took somethinglike nothing happened. So I'm like,
based on this nothing happening, Ithink I need to go triple Oh yeah.
So it took like four hits oflike white blotter. Well it like

(16:34):
happens. It's like subtle until it'snot. Yeah that it's like, oh
boy, here we go, thisis your reversible well and that's the thing.
It's like the visuals when you're usedto mushrooms, Like the visuals are
so much it's it's like more tameand calm initially, whereas mushrooms are mushrooms
from the moment they hit until themoment they are not affecting you as much
as right, I know, mushroomslike you look at it, your painting's

(16:56):
gonna get a little weird. AcidYou're gonna look at geometry. Yeah,
it's there's a lot of spikes,peaks, and valleys when it comes to
that that trip. But yeah,thank god, I've never had to I
had. I never had my parentstalk to me while on acid. But
I did have a planned acid tripruined because I was good friends with my

(17:17):
cousin and I was ditching family Thanksgivingdinner to go do acid with some friends
and she just was like best friendswith my ex girlfriend at the time,
and she just brought it up toher mom and they're like, oh,
what are what are What's Tim andhis girlfriend doing? And they're like,
I'll probably doing a bunch of acidand then like got the call from my
mom's like, hey, are youditching family Thanksgiving to do acid? And

(17:40):
I'm like, I mean, Iwas thinking about it. There's nothing worse
than a girl has a close relationshipwith her mom. Oh yeah, you
can. Like it's a multi stageKevin Bacon family ship where it was just
like, you know, my mygirlfriend was friends cousin who told my aunt,
who told my mom, and mycousin's ex boyfriends dogs from college and

(18:07):
then yeah, yeah you're yeah,I'm like, great, but you need
to get here now. Everyone's therewaiting for you, like, yeah,
exactly half of them new. Butfortunately my parents are cool, so they
were like, hey, I don'tdo that. And I'm like, and
you know, of course I didn'ttell them, but they're like they're like,
hey, well, you know,we had some friends in the seventies
who just had some hard times withthat, and I'm like, I'm like,

(18:30):
they can't, dude, I'm goodwith it. I've I've been doing
it for a while. Yeah,I'm doing fine. Yeah, I'm like
I'm some psychoat we can't touch metalanymore? Yeah, like, my great,
that's probably they had to don't takethe blue ascid. We used to
take it and go running around thismonastery. That made me jam. Oh
god, it was amazing. Doyou ever have any of the jam?

(18:52):
Oh? Yeah, yeah, itwas it good, it's great. Yeah.
What was it called abbey? Iforget where something abby? Obviously that
was in Spencer, Massachusetts, Matts, I'm no, not on that Pennsylvania.
Yeah, okay, but like,uh, Saint Joseph's Abbey. Yeah,
but there'd be like deer running throughthe fields and stuff like that.
Every now and then you see likeone of the monks like praying with his

(19:15):
hoodie up and like we're running aroundlike maniacs, tripping balls. Yeah.
And they were just like the beautyof God's creation. And meanwhile, like
the beauty of God's creation. I'mlooking up into the constellations, I'm seeing
like Da Vinci's like, and I'mlike, I'm gonna be a doctor.
Yeah yeah, it's fun. UhSo okay, so Indiana Guitar Center by

(19:37):
a time, and then like whatmade you want to go back to bartending?
Wasn't working at Guitar Center, youknow, it was just I I
like went away from it. Andthen I was like, you know what,
and then I just moved to Chicago, and that's just what you could
do, you know. It's youknow, I could I had my roommate
worked for Jimmy John, so Icould have been a sandwich delivery guy and

(19:57):
become really into bikes, and thenI to become that guy, which,
like I'm being a bike guy isalmost as annoying as being a horse check.
Yeah, that's my rule. I'mtender if they're playing golf or they're
on a horse, I swipe ut. Yeah, I'm not safe. I
don't want to hear about your horse. Yeah, I just really don't.
I'm sorry, sorry fans out there. Yeah, Christopher reef, I'm not

(20:18):
doing it. Yeah, uh IMy my ex's family owns horses, but
they don't ride them, which,like to me, just like defeats the
purpose. It's like having a dogyou don't pet. Yeah, it's like
so I'm like, why would youyou know, they do it. It's
like brace horses. It's you know, yeah, well you know, not
unless you're living some sort of likeyou know, Western dream where you're just

(20:40):
out there you're basically a homeless personon a horse. We don't see enough
of that, you know, youget as drunk as you want. The
horse knows the way home. Yeah, exactly, we need we need more
horse homeless. You know, Ithink it should be called home often that's
a horrible thing to say. It'severywhere. Hold on a second. Oh
anyway, So all right, soyou guitar centit you moved to Chicago.

(21:00):
What drew you to Chicago? Like? Why was Chicago call it? You
know, when you grew up inlike Northwest Indiana, it's like it's it's
not far away, it's like anhour. So you go there for school
field trips, you go there,or when you're you know, her family
takes you up there to go tothe museums. It's it's more, it's
just right there. So you getthe news, the weather, the radio.
Okay, I get that. Itwas always a white Sox fan,

(21:22):
Bears fan, you know, soit just made sense. Okay, And
so you were was your first likejob, Like I've worked at a place
called D four Irish Pub, whichwould apparently everyone's first job who moved to
Chicago. Okay, this place justturned him over and they'd hire people with
very little experience. And it wasowned by this, uh, this Irish

(21:44):
guy who had moved over, andwhat he would do is he'd like move
for years, would move into buythese bars and shitty neighborhoods and rule with
an iron fist where he'd be likethis, this old Irish man in the
back behind the bar with his fuckingbaseball bet if you tried to come in
and foot with them, he'd justfucking cluck in the face with it,
and like would do that until heget rid of all the fucking drunks and
junkies, and then he would slowlyconvert them into being like nice Irish pubs

(22:07):
that he would then buy another one, leverage or sell, And eventually we
ended up in the River North neighborhood, where it was like this, like
pretty swanky area where if you workin a tech job downtown and you don't
really know shit about Chicago, youprobably wanted to move to River North and
then rapidly learned that like this kindof a neighborhood for douchebags. But sorry

(22:30):
to the entire neighborhood of River North. Yeah but uh but yeah, so
I worked there for years and uhit was well not years, a year
year. It's the industry is likeone of years exactly. It's like dog
years. Yeah. So I workedthere for a while and uh, probably
one of the first jobs I ragequite quit. Yeah, I've rage quit

(22:52):
multiple jobs, but most of them, like I've like come back to because
like by the end of the ragequit, the managers like, I'm sorry,
you're right, I made a badcall. Um, I have to
tell you listeners. Tim is usuallyright, like any kind of issues like
that we have currently, Like he'slike, well, why don't we do
this? I'm like, I've beenthere eight years. I never thought of
that. Like he figures it outand fix this stuff. But I like,
I don't see the rage in you, like what happens, you know.

(23:15):
I you know, I'm calm untili'm not. So like that's but
so it just builds builds builds.Yeah, okay, like a jam all
my feelings down deep deep deep.Yeah, I see it's a powder keg
of rage. But mostly it's restaurantrelated, so it doesn't really go anywhere.
It just means that I just godrink a lot. But you know
that's so, how did you ragequit? So it was like midshift.

(23:38):
We'll not midshift, it was itwas after the shift, so the owner
had come and sit in my sectionand we got slammed, and I was
just taking care of everybody. Iwas just killing it. And then they
came over and they're like, hey, um, Brendan said, you didn't
come over. I'm like, uh, I mean yeah, I said,
I said you good. I gavehim a thumbs up and he gave me
a thumbs up, and they're like, well he brought I'm like, he
brought his own food, he broughthis own drink. And they're like,

(24:00):
well, he really wanted you tocome over and help him and help him
more. And I'm like, dude, I got like quadruple said, I
had a ton of tables. Iwas trying to do the right thing,
show him that I can take careof his restaurant. Like yeah, I'm
gonna show this guy what I knowwhat I can do by like yeah,
exactly the important people. So thenthe manager was like you know, um,
well, like fuck the customers man. He's the guy who's paying your

(24:22):
checks. And I'm like, well, first of all, that's not how
the restaurant works. Customers pay mybills. That guy just pays my taxes,
or maybe not my taxes. Yeah, we're right enough. And even
then and I told him, like, if your attitude is fuck the customers,
I'm like, well then go funckyourself. I'm gonna get out of
here. And I like took allmy ship and I like handed it off

(24:42):
to the bus and I got readyto leave, and he like caught me
at the door and he's like,you're right, you're right, You're nice.
Yeah nice. I raged quit thekaraoke bar. That was brutal.
I talked about that in a previousepisode. But it was like he took
all these girls that I worked withand like something that we're there for like
a month, that I've been therefor like four years, and he never

(25:02):
took me in the limo to thePlayboy Mansion. And the whole time,
I think they're all at the PlayboyMansion and I am djaying the karaoke,
I am fucking making all the drinks, I am running food, taking the
food orders, and the place ispacked as a private party. I'm one
person. How many plus ones doyou think you get to the Playboy Mansion.
Do you think it's like, doyou get here plus on an unlimited

(25:23):
amount of women or do you getlike a plus one dude if you bring
a girl like yeah, yeah,probably gotta be like that. Yeah,
yeah, one dude for every twogirls. Yeah yeah, there's probably some
sort of science to it, likenot to take this guy's side. Fuck
fuck that. No, if you'retiming, he should have he brought enough
girls where he could get a plusone. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.
But it's like, also, youknow, four years I've been running your

(25:47):
show. Every time I wanted toquit, he would hear about it and
give me a raise and another keyto something. Oh yeah, I left
that kind of ownership management there,like we only promote you or give you
any kind of accolade or thank youwhen we think you're gonna leave. Yeah,
exactly. Yeah. And that's theother thing. People say that all
the time, like in the servicenstrywhen they're talking about the proprietor of the
establishment like yeah, yeah, somy owner said, I'm like, no,

(26:08):
it's not your owner. Yeah,it's the owner of the bar where
you were, not my owner.So everybody out in the service industry stop
saying my owner. Yeah, youwere not indentured to these motherfuckers. Yes,
yeah, they're horrible people. Yeah, you learned that lesson pretty quickly
when you've been doing it for awhile where it's just like, you know,
you can be the guy who triesto fix problems, but oftentimes that
also means you're the guy who's pissingoff some uneducated middle manager who couldn't even

(26:33):
hack it in your position. Sohere they are now to be like mad
at you, and then you're thewiner. Yeah exactly, Yeah, get
rid of them. You're causing allthese problems and be like if you were
a you know, a design company, and you every time that your best
guy was like, hey, actuallyI've got this new thing that can make
things better, You're like, getthem out of here. Yeah, I
don't get him, get them out, Yeah, and stop being fucking a

(26:56):
sensible person. Get you're really pissingeverybody off. Yeah yeah, you take
that jobs. Yeah. So allright, So you're in Chicago, you're
working at this irish So you getout of there, yes, and then
you go from there. I thinkI ended up at Second City next,
so I was serving there. Youwere serving a second So you've met all
the comedians, yes, I would. You weren't allowed to gush, sure,

(27:18):
yeah, you were allowed to sayhey, mostly you were allowed to
work around him. But yeah,I mean a lot of cool people were
there when I started there, AidyBryant, Tim Robinson, they both were
there right before they went away.Cicely Strong. Um, I've seen Tim
Meadows and a lot of character.Tim Meadows is also an incredibly nice guy
who was like really low key whenhe would come in where he was just

(27:41):
very friendly and very unassuming, justwould come in to watch shows, sit
to the side and just enjoy themand then call it a day. That's
a cool guy. Yeah, becausehe just knew he was legacy, so
he could just come in and watchany show and he would just come in
and watch every single show at leastone time when he was in town,
just come and check out and support. Yeah. Yeah, he seems like
a super nice guy. There's alot of sucking assholes. Yeah, Like
Tasha is an asshole. I preferredyour toash take. Yeah, that guy

(28:03):
sucks toosh. What do you wantme to say? You're coming up next
to talking about the show, theshow's coming up, going to plug and
he just folds his arm and looksaway from me. I'm like, Wow,
what a fucking dick. So Igo up on stage. I'm like,
all right, next comedian coming tothe mic, a man who needs
no introduction, and then I justleft anyone up in the slate and pass
me off. Yeah, well,unfortunately he's got he's got chops. Yeah,

(28:26):
he's got the chops. Sou So. Yeah, you saw all the
comedians. I'm sure you got intosome debauchery while you were there. Yeah,
yeah, definitely. So um Sothere was a lot of comedians who
come to Up Comedy Club, whichwas their stand up theater, and h
we you know, I was thereone time when Donald Rawlings came in.
I was there when Eddie Charlie Murphycame in, and we had a coworker

(28:49):
actually, so we were all we'dhad this spot in the garage where we'd
all go to smoke cigarettes and thecomedians would come out there to smoke weed
or smoke whatever they're gonna do.And Charlie Murphy comes out and you gonna
he asked, we all want togo to smoke up blunt with him,
and most of us you obviously wantto, but you're like, I'm in
the middle of this shift, likein the middle, like he's doing this
while his openers are on stage andyou're outside having a cigarette because you already

(29:12):
got everyone in their first round ofdrinks. So he comes out there and
one of my co workers, hegoes out and he goes smokes a blunt
with him. He's gone for likethirty forty minutes. No one could find
him. They were all trying totrack him down. Wow, and uh
yeah, yeah, yeah, thirtyminutes and then he wasn't you know,
he was He was a host,so most of his job was done.
Yeah, everyone's in the room already, yeah exactly, so he was you

(29:34):
know, he had some time,but I mean, I'd love to know
what happened in that forty minutes.Um. But so they couldn't find him.
They end up firing him that nightbecause he smoked blunt with Charlie Murphy.
And then then then Donald Rawlings camelike like a month later, and
he was like, Hey, we'regonna go smoke up blunt in the in
the car. Do you want tocome with everybody? And everyone's like,

(29:56):
fuck, no, hell no,we're not doing that with you. But
you seem like grant guy. ButI'm sorry, Charlie Murphy just ruined that
for everybody because that guy got firedand now now he's doing MLM shit.
So it's oh, yeah, that'sthe that's the whole vitamin world or what
is it called herbalife, herbal life. I think it was herbal Life.

(30:18):
I'm being honest. He was justlike hit me up randomly on on Facebook
and he was like, hey,Tim, have you been man. I'm
like, dude, it's good totalk to you. I haven't seen it
forever. I mean, you know, coming back into town soon. And
he's like, oh, man,I've got a great business opportunity I want
to talk to you about. AndI'm like, oh, I'm like here,
I thought you were just catching uplike a regular ass hum and nope,
nope, you got an angle yep. Yeah, and I always do.

(30:41):
It's like we got a manager thatleft and like got into that and
it's like all about like managing money, and I like I entertain I'm like,
all right, I thought we weregonna go on a date. It
turned out to be like I willdo this thing first, put it all
the time for her, and thenthere was no substance. It was like,
oh, what you want to dois boo saving my build well and

(31:02):
get more people to sign up yeah, and then that's how you exactly shilled
to a bunch of vidiots. Iworked at a spot in Nashville for a
little while where it was like apretty big barbecue spot, and most of
their hiring pool was like waffle House. So these were like people who were
nineteen years old with two or threekids, and they would scoop them up,

(31:22):
and I'm like, man, Ijust started in an MLM here I
would do so well. Yeah,I'm like, smash one. I'm gonna
just just ruin the lives of allof these waffle House kids. So what
is Nashville in your timeline? That'sin the midst of Chicago. I went
to Nashville and came back, Okay, and I did that for a little
while. Why did you leave Chicagojust like fuck winter? Yeah, okay,
weather sucks and you get the mosquitosin the community. Like I'm going

(31:45):
back to Chao. Unfortunately, Idon't really survive much in the city because
okay, you know, there's nota lot of standing water, so you
can avoid it mostly. But yeah, that's like my biggest like brag to
my mom's, like since I leftMassachusetts in two thousand, I'm like,
I have a bit bit by amosquito in like twenty three years. Some
people just have that attraction to mosquito. So they've got something in their blood
that just like makes them come outspecifically for them. Yeah, drugs,

(32:07):
the chos love. I'll be inlike a social setting where like people were
like, man, I'm just gettingbit up, and I'm like, I'm
I'm pretty good. Yeah, likeI don't know what's happening. Yeah,
what do you want? When Iwas in Colombia with those dudes, like
they like the gringo blood. Maybeyeah, maybe it's like the pasty Irish
skin. Just they're like, oh, we like, we like what you've

(32:28):
got going on over here. Yeah, I had like a third nipple on
my bicep. Dude, Like,what the hell did you shoot me up
with? But uh, all right, so you're in Chicago, you're doing
uh, you're hanging out with allthe comics and then I mean any other
debauchery in Chicago before you got toDenver Um. So by the way,
he brought my Lord over. Everybodywant to tell everybody what my Lord is.
It's a very Chicago. Yes,I get a couple of shots and

(32:50):
get an opportunity to try it.It's not as bad as you've heard.
It's it's so it's a wormwood Gentianliqueur that just is just Steve and it's
super bitter, like just disturbingly bitter. To some people. It tastes like
gasoline. Some of the jokes areyou know, it tastes like the day
the dad laughed. It tastes youknow, it tastes like some expired milk

(33:13):
that's set into bottle in the sunfor like twenty five years. It's like
everyone wants to come up with adifferent thing that it tastes like, but
mostly it just tastes bitter. Itliterally tastes Look, it wanted to be
peppermint schnops at the top and thengave up and it became the end of
her debt. Yeah, it's gotthat that hot liquor quality in the beginning,
but then at the end it's justlike it's just a lingering, great
fruit, pithy bitterness. Yeah.Yeah, and I love it. It's

(33:35):
like a relationship. Yeah, it'spromising and then it's just yeah, you
know, and most of my relationshipsstart out kind of bitter and then they
end pretty bitter. So it's prettyit's pretty accurate. So you're you're just
perfect from the lord, Yeah,exactly, as it turns out. You
know, I'm mostly attracted to haters, So if if you're a hater,
then I'm probably your type. Doyou stuffing from the same thing I suffer
from? Like when you have agirl like that likes you, you're like,

(33:57):
oh, what's wrong with you?Why do you like? Like,
do you have a do you havea problem that I'm not aware of?
The truth is it's just, youknow, you shouldn't be liking me,
there's something else. The key isto pick somebody who's not quite an alcoholic,
but if a couple of bad thingshappened, they might become an alcoholic,
because you know, it's like justright there, yeah exactly, because
then your ship never looks too bad. Yeah. Oh that's hilarious. Oh

(34:22):
fuck. So before we started maligningalcoholics, we were talking about any other
debauchery in Chicago. Um so oneof the things that like at Second City,
I you know, I hope I'mnot going to try and get a
job there soon when I moved back, but like, is uh this like
this this started a whole thing forme. I would you know, it's
it's it's just kind of become mym O. Right. So Tom Hanks

(34:44):
was there, and he was thereto see the show. It's really amazing
experience. He went up, heperformed. It was but before he performed,
yes he did. I'll tell thatstory, okay. But so it
started out with me just like,you know, he was in my section
and we were taking care of customers, and and I just like, I
just I don't know what I ateearlier. It was probably with Chicago,
could have been hot dogs or beefsor you know, delicious pizza, and

(35:06):
I I just really had a part. So I'm like, you know what,
opportunity doesn't arise very often where youget an opportunity to to cropped us
Tom Hanks. But I cropped usto Tom Hanks, and it started a
whole thing. You know. I'vesince cropped us to former Chicago Mirror Mirror
Daily. I've cropped dusted um what'swhat's his name from The Big Bang Theory?

(35:29):
The lead? Oh, I don'tknow, yeah, who knows?
Who cares? Um? Uh?And then yeah, yeah, yeah,
the kid, yeah, the kidfrom Roseanne, and uh, let's see
some there's a few other musicians andstuff in there that don't come to mind.
I almost ship my pants trying tocropped us machine Gun Kelly. But
it was worth it. Like Ijust so desperately really wanted to crop to

(35:52):
us to him, and I'm like, I don't even have to fart,
but I conjured it. I putthe work in. You had the launch
gas. But yeah, still Ihad to take a minute and be like,
all right, someone else wants asa bar. I'm trying really hard
to a fart on Machine Gun Kellyhad to do a little intestinal yoga.
Yeah, it's a lot of shifting, you know. I gotta work on
those abmute movements. Will Yeah,my cables right now. Yeah, Tom

(36:16):
Hanks, that's amazing. You know, maybe some of that tied into what's
been going on. He apparently I'veheard his books. Yeah, maybe maybe
infecting with them a little shitty writingskills. Oh, the fun stuff work,
all right. So you cropped usthe celebrities at this place, the

(36:37):
Irish Bar, and then that wasSecond City. Oh, that was Second
City, that's right, that's right. So where was the next place?
So in Oldtown Chicago, there's thisbar a cross street called Old Town Alehouse.
It's been there there for like sixtysomething years. It's an old school
dive bar. They're open until fiveon Saturdays for every other day of the
week, so it's where you gowhen you have a problem. And I
went there all the time. Yeah. Yeah, as a chance, so

(37:00):
I went there all the time.Yeah, So I was there pretty much
every day I worked a shift atSecond City. I'd be like rallying everybody
at work. I'd be like,who's going to the house? You going
to the house? You got inthe house, going to the house.
And then sometimes you'd be like no, I'm gonna be like, no,
you're gonna come, and I justlike make a bunch of people come in
there. So I'd bring in thesebig crowds of people with me from work
because it's across the street. Iwas just there so often, be getting

(37:21):
rides home from bartenders, close inthe place down every single day. Yeah,
And they finally got to a pointthey're like, you just want to
work here. That's what happens.I always say. I've said like five
episodes like bars are a place whereif you go there enough, it's like
Gonnam, but it just absorbs youand you end up as a staff.
Yeah, and it's one of thosespots where people always like, how did
you get a job here? Andbe like, I was here all the
time. I put in my time, buddy, Yeah, I think you're

(37:43):
coming to him a goddamn resident totally. And when they also like tipped super
fat, so that's the other benefit. Yeah, but but yeah, I'd
be there all the time, andI started working there and then for years
that was just that was the spot. So like I worked so while I
was there, a lot of crazystuff happened. You know. Obviously I
got really into relationships. It's anold school dive far so there's a lot
of elderly guys there would come inevery day, drink like fourteen drinks,

(38:06):
well, go home and then doit again the next day, and you
know, it's it's weird. Youknow, the line between psychosis and stability
is very fine for some people.Yeah, where you'd have so many people
who'd like have regular functional jobs andthen would come in and get a few
drinks in and then they'd just bea raving lunatic. Yeah, but you'd
love them because they were there everyday. So like I got the amount

(38:28):
of like raving lunatic seventy year oldmen that I apparently have been friends with
for many years as well, someof them. Yeah, it's just part
of it. Yeah, yeah,absolutely. You see some guy like running
around with his shirt off, yellingat the fucking moon. It's like,
who's that He's a surgeon. Yeah, it's got to close, get him
to close his tab. Yeah.It was one of the only spots where

(38:49):
cash only, you know, theystill did you could run a tab there,
so we uh, we literally hadcustomers. There's there's one guy,
Rubin who you could hear about himon any of the Bruce Eliot stuff.
He so he would come in allthe time. He had like lost his
like diabetes, and he would justdrink like fucking thirty Miller lights every day
and he would just come in,put him in and like stumbling and talking

(39:13):
over his words and his wheelchair getdropped off by the pace bus. Great
guy. Yeah, And when hefinally passed, they buried him with a
tab that was like fifteen thousand dollars. Was like racked it up for years.
He just didn't charge him anything.He just thrown on a couple of
bucks for the bartender and then likethrow it on Reuben's tab, and that
guy put him back. But hehad a legacy there that went further than

(39:35):
a lot of legacy. Yeah yeah, oh yeah, you were. You
hang out at an old town nailhouse enough and you get painted and put
on the wall. So there's portraitsof all kinds of regulars, former employees,
former celebrities. Being a Crosstreet fromSecond City, it was like back
in the sixties and seventies, itwas the spot, so like you know,
Bill Murray, Dan Ackroid, HaroldRamis. They would hang out there

(39:59):
all the time, you know,anyone who went through Second City. Steve
crow frequented there. Tina fe wasn'treally a drinker, so she didn't really
go in there very often. Butyou had like a lot of people who
had this weird legacy about the spot, and they would just come back sometimes
and you just show up out ofnowhere in the middle of your shift,
and then you had this weird defensething you had to go into where you'd
be like, I gotta protect thisperson from the regulars, but also at

(40:20):
the same time they're gonna be allyeah, everything. And we had like
a code though, where it's likelisten, if you try and buy them
a drink and they say yes,then they have to deal with your bullshit
for at least a little while.Yeah, at least for the duration,
yeah exactly, because they didn't needyou to buy them that drink. So
like if you say yes, you'dbe like. That's a little bit of
my own personal code too, whereit's like, hey, man, if
you got the money and someone's buyinga drink and you don't want to talk

(40:40):
to him, just sell them.You're fine, be like, hey,
I'm good man, thank you somuch. It's so gracious. I'm so
gracious for that. Thank you somuch. But I'm good, thank you.
I'm just gonna have a quiet night. Yeah, don't bug me,
yeah exactly. Yeah. Rich peoplealways get free ship too, that's the
weirdest. Yeah, yeah exactly.And I gotta buy this guy drink.
Why it's a millionaire, Yeah exactly. Should he should buy you a drink?
Yeah, yeah absolutely, But youwant to like talk to him,

(41:00):
so you gotta rent them all?Yeah exactly. Yeah, girls, you
know what I mean. But youowe me at least half of that drink.
Well she just chunks it. Yeah, well it's gone. That's why
I just ask if someone's like canI buy this girl a drink? And
I'm like does she want to drink? Like? And they're like when you're
bartenly, does she want that drinkfrom you? They're like, Oh,
I don't know, and be likeoh cool, Um, so you want

(41:22):
me to fly with her for you? I had a guy who had it
was the seventh grade passing notes.Yeah, ye, a guy to picture
margaritas and he's like, hey,will you go see if those girls want
to drink these margaritas for us orwith us? And I'm like, do
you want me to like try andfuck him for you too? Or like
what are you? What are youlooking for? I'm like, no,
do it yourself. You've grown,man. Yeah, go over there and
be like, hey, would youlike to share this picture with us?
We got too much? Otherwise it'sgonna get like another drinker on your tap.

(41:44):
She's got a smile at you andsay good bye on her way out
exactly, and then you're gonna bitchabout it to me, so like yeah,
it's like, hey, I'm youknow, just accept the rejection.
It's reallynt that big a deal.Like you rejected all the time, Yeah,
this time you gotta rejected ahead oftime. Yeah, that's easier that
you're more efficient. Yeah. Souh so Second City, you went across
this place? Yeah, I workedthere for seven years off and on.

(42:05):
Wow, that's very long. Iwas just that much into that bar.
Wow. I had so many regulars. Who was again cash the only spot
you just build your own customer base, and there was a lot of history
to it. Um. Anthony Bourdaincame in and did two episodes of his
show there. He parts unknown andhe did the layover there. Wow.
I was there when his production companycame in and helped them set up and

(42:28):
taught them all about our lights andtheir power and you know, ability and
stuff like that. But the nextday when they came in there like you
cannot come on, we cannot haveany extra people showing up to be on
the show, including employees. Justa couple of random regulars got invited to
go and sit there with the ownerand talk with him. But yeah,
then they came back the next time, same kind of thing. Really good
at telling where the lights are.Yeah, because did you interact with him

(42:52):
at all or no? Just theproduction company? It was other stuff.
I definitely like. So I wasworking there one late night and David Cross
came in and you know, yeahphenomenally to buy and yeah to bias and
uh so he's you know, he'sa New York guy. So he's like,
it's the end of the night andwe're like, hey, man,
you want to have a shot withus for a minute. I know everyone's
leaving, you can stay for aminute, do a shot. He's like,

(43:14):
I know how it is. I'vebeen to bars in New York.
If I have this shot with you, I'm gonna be here and it's gonna
be like nine in the morning.And we're like, no, we just
kind of won't go home. Butbut it was really nice to meet you.
But then like, you know,here, don't yeah, yeah,
yeah, and he so he didthe shot, and he like was very
deliberate about touching everyone's classes. He'sone of those guys, yeah, which

(43:34):
is like a weird thing sometimes whenhe got a big group FYI people who
have insist on touching classes with everysingle person to want a shot with you,
just anyone anyone in arms, reachyeah, put it into the huddle
and then you're good. Yeah,you don't have to make physical contact with
every single person's drink. It's it'sthat's the Stanley cup. Yeah, it's
kind of it's kind of weird.Yeah, I hate that. Yeah,

(43:55):
oh god, you know I hate. I hate dudes like ordered drinks for
themselves, right, and then theycoach you on who's next. They they're
trying to be so wrist like,oh, I believe these girls are now
I get you, ladies, Yeah, are you buying them the drink?
Exactly? I'm then shut the funkout right, I'm gonna get all of
them, don't worry. Yeah.Yeah, you're coming up to a group
of people like they were first,like, no, you're all getting ordered.

(44:17):
This is a horizontal line. Youhave no idea, take all of
your orders. Don't worry. Yeahyeah. And then it's like, oh,
we're gonna all pay separate anyways.I know, I'm aware you're all
gonna get the same fucking drink.You didn't get one fake boom at a
time? Did you get both?So I'm gonna taste ters, and then
I'm gonna decide, Yeah, justjust get this person. I'm gonna make
it because you're gonna want it.Yeah. And then you you left Chicago,

(44:40):
you came to Denver. Yes,so I prompted that, Um,
well, you know, I wasagain, I was left, went to
Nashville for a little while, cameback to Chicago, and then you know,
ended up being there through COVID lockdownand it became this weird COVID prison
and then yeah, and then Iwas like, I need something different.
So honestly, Denver was kind ofon a whim in a sense, and

(45:05):
I'm like, you know what,I would because when I lived in Nashville,
I was seven hours from so manybeautiful places up mostly cities. Went
to Atlanta and North you know,went to ash Love Atlanta, you know,
different parts in North Carolina and SouthCarolina, all over the South.
And I was like, I needto do the same thing but in the
mountain region. So I moved hereto Denver because I'm like, you know
what, within a seven hour drive, You've got Arches, You've got a

(45:28):
Rocky Mountain National Park, you cango down to Black Candy of the Gunnison,
you can get to Santa Fe.You can go to all these places
where I'm like, this is ahouse centralized spot. Yeah, it's pretty
amazing. Yeah, So I meanthat's a big part. That's the draw
as it turns out, I gothere and I don't ski or snowboard,
so I'm a pariah and I don'tand I don't have a dog, so
I must be a monster. Ohmy god. Yeah, the census doesn't

(45:51):
even count you. Yeah, exactly. They're like, you don't live here
because you don't have a right tovote here. Yeah. Yeah, as
it turns out, no dog,no dog or a dui. Yeah I
can't. You know, I'm workingon one of them. Yeah, and
so h yeah, so we workedtogether at a Vante's. How did you
find a van? Was that yourfirst job in Denver or yeah? Actually
so wow. You know, Imoved in November, and I was there

(46:14):
during the off season, and Ikind of took a slow move into it,
and then I just happened to applyon a whim. And the average
director worked at a bar in Chicagoor worked in Chicago before that, so
he recognized all my experience and hewas just like, come on in and
and the rest is history. Ohmy god, yes, crazy history.
Yeah, what is in all yourplaces? The weirdest thing you've ever seen?

(46:39):
Like in your years of BARTI likethe weirdest or the funniest or just
like the what the fuck is wrongwith youst so uh, I got a
few of those. One was,um, we had a regular who was
a lawyer, and he'd been regularlythere for a very long time, and
he had gone to pop Eyes whenhe got there first thing in the morning

(47:00):
when the bar opened at like itwas like eleven o'clock, and he hung
out all day with this Popeyes andneed a damn bite of it, waited
until like like seven or eight o'clockand decides to just destroy this Popeyes and
then immediately gets severe diarrhea and herbalsevere. Yeah, he had surprise poops
yea to the bathroom and then onesingle turd out of his pant leg onto

(47:24):
the ground. Oh god. Andand he was, you know, very
humiliated and left very rapidly because westill we still had to clean up the
turd. Thank god it was aturd. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
because you can sweep up a turd, you can't deal with the rest of
it. And no, god,yeah, we're practically nurses sometimes. Yeah,
it turns out, yeah, cleanup blood, vomit. It's fine.

(47:49):
But at the same time, Igot to make somebody's last word maybe
squeezes my hand for the last word, run one hand for the sweeping up
of the poop. He has longspears for the cherry because I don't want
to touch anything. Jesus what else? Uh? So you said he had
a few. So you had aguy, a lawyer, ship his pants
and it rolls out through his pantlet. Jesus, what else you got
on there? Um? So wehad a let me think of a good

(48:13):
one on that one. So wehad this this like neighborhood guy, uh
named street Jimmy. He was likeour our resident crackhead at the bar because
he got his mail there. Heknew personally. We had a bottle of
hot sauce that was for Jimmy,and like, you know, he'd come
and be like, hey, canI please get some chips? And you'd
be like, yeah, Jimmy,it's fine. You say this every day.

(48:34):
He took me like it took him. Yeah, it took him like
a year to learn my name.We'd be like, hey, uh,
little team, and then we hadtaught him, and uh he would you
know, he'd come in and soone day Jimmy's out front and some other
neighborhood crackhead starts rolling into the neighborhoodand Jimmy finds a piece of wood out

(48:55):
of note where he conjures it offof the street to Chicago. And he
had piece of wood this like andhe uses as a bat and he chases
this man off the block. Uhand just purely just completely off the block
and came back and then we gavehim a beer. Oh yeah, this
is my I'm a crackhead of Yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah, oh man,

(49:16):
I've got a lot of Jimmy stories. So that's that. Guy's a
trip. Needless to say, it'sweird being having like a personal relationship with
like a sixty three year old crackhead, yeah, who has been like smoking
crack since he was in his earlytwenties. And you're like, crack must
be the ship. Yeah, youcan only imagine it must be. It's
it's a hell yeah, Like peopledon't get it. Like this is the

(49:38):
whole reason I like to do thepodcast, Like like what happens to us.
It's like you become friends with sixtysomething year old crackhead or a high
powered attorney who happens to ship hispants and a turd roles. It doesn't
happen when you're like working in projectmanagement. No, no, absolutely,
you go to your office job andthen the odds of you learning that the

(49:58):
person who does the editing for yourlocal radio show is like also completely and
totally insane. Yeah, yeah,people gotta know you guys gotta know this
is why you tip. Also becausewe lower the prices on everything because we
pay our service staff minimum wage.So instead of having a fifteen dollars corona,

(50:20):
you're gonna have a seven dollar corona. But it's up to you to
kind of, you know, putthree dollars on it. May get take
care of it. Otherwise we haveto get rid of tipping and make the
fifteen dollar corona a thing. Yeah, and you know who's going to protect
you from the the deranged money managerwho has just done one bump in the
bathroom and somehow it's turned him intoa complete in total sociopath. A lot

(50:42):
of doctor checkles and mister Hies outthere, bars, hospitals, police stations,
full moods. Trust me, itgets weird, Yes, absolutely,
which is why everyone should take astint. And it's it's like Israel with
the military. A year in themilitary Israel, every should do a year
in the service on top on top. Yeah, that's amazing. I say
that all the time. They haveto work in the service entergy. You

(51:05):
guys got to know what's going on. You might enjoy it. You might
get laid more. You might developa drug or alcohol problem. We might
just foster than one you already have. Yeah. Is it a medics.
Maybe it's not a problem so muchas a hobby. Yeah, exactly,
it's a feature, not a flaw. Oh god, all right, everybody.
That was Timmy me Boy for episodefifty three on Behind Bars, Cocktails

(51:28):
and Wasted. Nice. Thanks fortuning in, Thanks for listening, Thanks
for telling her friend spread the word. Renter review Timmy Boy, thank you
so much. People. Hey,thanks everybody, Thank you drag. Yeah,
let's go, all right, guys, we'll see you on the next
one. Cheers, cheers,