Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The following is a true story.As I got into the elevator next to
the stairs at work yesterday, apatron asked, there's a second floor here,
to which I responded as the doorsclosed. Yeah, and the Jeopardy
auditions are next door. Good luck? What can I get you drunk?
(00:38):
Welcome to episode fifty four of theaward winning podcast Behind Bars, Cocktails and
Wasted Nights. I'm your host,Greg. I've been working as a bartender
for over twenty years, and overthose years, I've seen a lot.
My goal here is to share someof those high and low lights with you.
Quick warning, this podcast contains sex, drugs, and some language that
isn't suitable for anyone under twenty oneyears of age. You gotta have some
(01:00):
id barbarians. It's been a minute, lots going on, and I finally
came up for air, hosted acrowd of a thousand for a cocktail competition,
wrote a six episode limited series withMatt that we've been shopping, working
overtime on Kid Amazing and believe me, We're getting there, and appeared in
a Sierra Nevada commercial. If yousee a guy with a dolly stacked with
(01:21):
Sierra Nevada. Hazy's saying, hey, man, you're good. That's me.
But like I said last episode,these are going to come out when
they do, I'm doing my best. Okay, For this one, I
interviewed Trip. He's an extremely interestingdude with a more extreme case of add
than chance the author. So puttingthe episode together in some form of a
(01:42):
coach and piece was a definite challenge. We recorded in two sessions and the
plan was to make it a twoparter, but due to the long drought,
I figured I'd give y'all an hourto ben. John Tripps lived about
seventeen lives and hearing his stories mademe feel like I'm napping too much.
Anyways, before we get started,you'll need a drink for this one.
We'll go with the recipe Trip enjoysmost. This one's fast efficient and you'll
(02:06):
get to that headspace and p lessyou're ready. Shot a whiskey and a
PBR dun city population US. Andif you don't have the PBR or the
brown brown, you know the backupplan. Shot a silver from the blue
and a big fat rail for you. You may want to get out of
pen and paths so you can connectthe dots here barbarians, but no,
(02:27):
I did my best without further ado. He's Trip. I am honored tonight
to have my friend and associate andco worker trip and house to I trip.
How are you doing tonight, buddy, dude, I'm doing great.
I'm with a good buddy and oneof the most talented people that I've run
across in Denver trips. My agent, by the way, he's gonna get
(02:51):
ten percent of my tips. Hey, so, Trip, how long you've
been in the industry. I alwayslike to start with that, like just
kind of get everybody acclimated to howyou got into it, who you are.
Oh my gosh. I was sixteen, Oh my god, and my
dad was paying my lunch bills.And there was this place called Mad Dog
(03:14):
Deli and bar something along those lines, and they charged sixteen dollars for their
sandwiches back in two thousand from aDelhi from a Delhi, Okay, And
I ate there every day and mydad was like, I can't. I
can't spend that kind of money,right, And one day I didn't come
home until like ten thirty, eleveno'clock at night, and he's curious where
(03:37):
I am. And I come backwith a sandwich, and I go,
Dad, here's a sandwich. Wherewere you? Well, you told me
you weren't going to pay for itanymore. So I went and got a
job there, and now you getfree sandwiches. And I'm paying you back
for the money that you spent onmy lunch els and you're still giving me
(04:01):
my lunch money. Right, Yeah, do I get free sandwiches? Yeah?
And I go, well, Igot a job after work, just
kind of cleaning up, and Iget my sixteen dollars sandwiches for free.
Once again, you've proven the recurringtheme that in the service industry, if
you become a regular at a place, you will eventually end up working there.
(04:23):
Oh yes, Oh yeah, it'slike an amiba. It just absorbs
you. Yeah, whether you're amusician, a patron, or something,
you just it's yeah, it ispar en course, you are now a
part of that culture. Speaking ofamiba's, I have this song like Garth
Brooks, you know he's that songI'm Shameless. Yeah, I have this
(04:45):
song called I'm shapeless. Shapeless saysan Amiba can be sexually. I just
thought you should know. I don'tlisten to Garth Brooks either. But I
just remember that song and I justthought of Amibas, all the kids you
gotta study measte having the great biologylook under a microsope. When you brought
up Amibas, I thought about allthe scientists chicks that I've dug on.
(05:09):
So, oh yeah, you gotscientists chicks that you dug on. You
did going well, I'm a smartypants. I like science, so all
I do is sit around and watchscience stuff like on YouTube or something.
Yeah, and they're like scantily cladlap coat, just clevand shown what's going
on? Oh no, oh yeah, I think no. So you' have
you worked in restaurants, like becauseyou're on the food side, you're back
(05:30):
of the house, You're like doingthe food like backbone shit, Like,
yeah, it's fucking stressful in there. Every time I like worked in a
restaurant, had to go into thekitchen with like a special request. It
was like I'm having a stroke.I'm like, oh God, I don't
want to tell these guys. Yougo to the guess you're like absolutely.
Then you go to the kitchen likejust filled with fear. Uh Now it's
uh, this is actually funny,And I love the owners of the place
(05:55):
where I work at now. Thechef just looked at me and he was
like, you just want something different, And I was like, yeah,
man, I want to work weekendsand nights. That is the best thing
a chef can ever hear. Yeah, it's like peak time keeps you out
of trouble. Yeah, keeps youout of trouble. And I've been working
(06:18):
nine to five's and running my ownbusinesses for the last many years because I
owned two bars. Like better goingto bars or owning bars. One of
the best ways I ever quit ajob is I was working at BJ's Brewery.
(06:40):
Okay, yeah, I know inBoulder, and we want to talk
about some bars. Stories. Yeah, always behind bars, cocktails and wastes.
BJ's all right, I've got twoand a half years of stories.
And you were in the kitchen atBJ's and oh shit, let's go um
(07:00):
and backup bartender Okay, not fulllike understudy. Someone did too much blow
that night to call you to comein. Not understudy. I owned my
own bars before I worked there,and they they put me on as a
host and a buser, and I'mlike, yeo, man, I had
your job. Okay for the lastsix years, okay, And they're like,
(07:27):
well, we only hire from inside. And I'm like, I'm gonna
pull off my belt and whip youwith it and come on board. We
love you. Yeah, and uhhe became one of my best friends.
I'm still friends with him to thisday. So after I worked at the
Delhi, um my trucks started breakingdown and um I was like, well,
(07:54):
f this, I'm not driving arounda buick because that's what my warn
tea would cover. Yeah, Abutic less saber. Did you have Kleenex
envelopments in the back? Oh mygosh, right, leave your left turn
signal on the whole time. Yeah. And I finally got tired of it.
Was Florida during the winters, rightright, I know, I go
(08:16):
to pick up a prom date.Yeah, A buticles saber. Champagne.
Champagne like the worst color out ofthe like stereotypical. It's like the champagne
seabring. Yeah, it's always ina champagne. It is just shy of
being pulled up in a police car. Like seriously, a four tourists and
(08:37):
a beauty less saber are the worstthings in the nineties. You could have
been picked up in people like seeyour headlights in the rear view and slow
down and actually do the speed limit. You can't get any well now it's
a Ford Explorer and you're like yeah, you're like, oh my god,
am I in Oh no, that'smy friend. Yeah, which, by
the way, I was once ina situation where I helped out people and
(09:03):
an officer drove me two and ahalf hours out of his way to get
me to a party that I wassupposed to be hosted and I was ship
based and the cop gave you aride to another party from Union station.
Ye gave me a ride to theparty. You gotta be kidding me.
That's amazing. Oh No, Iwas ship based and the whole crew was
(09:26):
like only you. I shared thison a one on my podcast where I
was like hitchhiking to Philadelphia and copscame up and they were like, I'm
on the freeway and they're like,where's your car. I'm like, I
don't have one to like get offthe road. Immediately. This made me
like go down like the banking ofthe fucking freeway at a climb offence like
they didn't care this guy, you'redrunk, and took you to a party.
(09:46):
Well, now I stopped. Istopped three women trying to stab somebody.
Okay, in that case at UnionStation, it was a Union station
thing. Yeah, we are tryingto stab each other. I don't know
what happened. All I knew isthat I was at least fifty yards away
(10:07):
the entire time, and I waslike calling the police, being like,
yo, guys, y'all gotta gethere. This is out of control.
Why are there not stationed people here? Why are there not anyone around here?
This is one of the most dangerousplaces in Denver. I haven't seen
(10:28):
anyone in thirty minutes. And I'mon the phone with the police and I'm
like, guys, there's a physicalbattle going out and blood is flowing.
Where are y'all? Yeah? Andit goes back to when my truck was
stolen in July. Where is someone? Because I just saw my bike ride
(10:52):
past me and I called you afive minutes ago because I had my bike
in my truck. Oh no,dude, yeah, and keeping your cell
phone in your wallet, and nowthat's uh, I had a cell phone.
I have another cell phone and Ikeep it in a car and I
called the people. Uh no.Obama phone. Thank you? Okay,
(11:16):
free phone? Oh nice free phone. Uh called them and they delivered my
phone my car back to me intwo days after they saw my phone that
I was missing a lot of shitand my truck was fucked up. But
I cut my truck back and I'vehad it for twenty three years. Brought
(11:39):
do you buy range Rover? Everybody? I gotta go out there and get
the Discovery Ukon Acts L Okay YukonActs L. Yeah, sponsor GMC Yukon
Acts L last twenty years. Folks, good and buy one. Yeah.
Now it's uh it keeps me running. Um. Oh what a feeling.
Oh but that is Toyota. Butuh. At the end of interviews and
(12:05):
everything for this thing, because thecops finally showed up, I was like,
how can I just finish this?I've got to catch this train and
it's going to take me an hourand a half to get down to South
Denver And the chief of police forDenver was standing there and I'm hammered.
(12:30):
Uh and he was like, I'lldrive you amazing uh and uh. I
was like, do you mind ifI take another shot? And he goes,
no, man, you were agood samaritan. And you're on your
way to a party. Yeah,Like I'm giving you an instn't take a
mile? Yeah, And he's like, he watched me do a shooter and
(12:52):
I threw it in the trash canright next to me, so I didn't
litter and I didn't put it inmy pocket. Did take a shot in
public. And I sat for anhour with him, asking him all kinds
of funny questions, and I amjust shit faced. Do you remember the
questions you asked him? Yes,give anyone. What's the most interesting case
(13:16):
you ever had? What was hisanswer? Do you remember? Um?
There was a child that was missing, okay, and they searched for him
for six hours and he was playinghide and seek and he was found in
the house. I gotta tell you, those amber alerts always freaked me out
because like, I'm afraid I'm goingto see the kid, Like what if
I see a tiny little hand pressedagainst the back window? You know what
I mean? No crime? Ido too? Oh no, no,
(13:39):
no, Like it flows through mybrain. Um, there's that episode about
the girl in the camaro. Yeah, um, and people called about her
and they didn't ever do anything.I don't I don't remember her name.
Or anything. I try not toremember names, right, especially in this
(14:03):
because they always talk about the killer. I want to know about the victim.
Yeah, don't glorify anybody. Yeah. Um, and uh there was
people that saw her on the streetand everything, and uh, it's just
sickening that it took the police.They had cross streets, like I remember
(14:24):
that it was Hawthorne in something wherethey saw Yeah it's a beauticles saber now
it was. It was a Camaro, a green, a green Camaro in
the story that people were calling ina blue Camaro and a green Camaro.
(14:46):
And I'm sitting there in my fuckinghead being a reporter. Look out for
any Camaro's and a Camaro is It'snot like you've got four doors. You
know. When someone sticking their handon the back of the rear windshield or
the side, yeah, come on, ye hit them with a car I'm
(15:09):
always afraid I'm gonna be hit themwith a carne Yeah, no, just
stop them if you see someone indistress. You know, there's there's laws
in place. Citizens are citizens restYeah, Uh, what's the other one
when you uh hang on before youget there? Speaking of well, no,
(15:33):
Chicken Coop only has two doors,No four chicken sedan. All right,
sorry, go ahead. I waswaiting for one of your jokes.
You're from the south, right,Yeah, you know how you circumcise the
Southerner? No kick his sister inthe jar. Oh I knew I was
gonna get one from ye rk oh. Speaking of radio voices, you were
(15:58):
on the radio right, like you'vedone. You know, in the service
industry does tons of stuff outside theservice industry, usually artists, creative people.
Trip is one of those people.Tell me about the radio show.
Oh my gosh, Um, Iwas in college. I was in kaos
Chaos that's awesome in Olympia, Washington, and Uh I had members of Widespread
(16:26):
come and play my show, GreenSky. Uh, Green Sky Bluegrass for
those of you that don't know,they play Red Rocks every year. They're
very big. Um. They sleptin my front yard twice. Uh in
tens Okay. And there are wholepodcasts about the Shenanigans that went down.
(16:52):
Oh give you got a band incamping in your front yard? Uh?
Well, I'm a mandolin play andI got Paul Hoffman hanging out with me.
Who is the mandolin player for GreenSky and I've got honors back,
and the rest of them are verysubdued by comparison. Those two are like
(17:17):
the manias. Well to me,they are okay to me. To me,
they are and I just remember,Um, I remember doing too much
and just jamming out on a bunchof tunes and ensuring that Green Sky Bluegrass
(17:37):
was okay for two days. Okay. But if we want to talk about
trample By Turtles them, Um,somehow I ended up in the bathtub every
time I hung out with them,like like by yourself. Yeah, okay,
yeah, yeah, No, everytime I hung out with Trapped by
(18:00):
Turtles, Pickles would somehow figure outhow to get me in the bathtub,
and I would wake up in themorning in the bathtub. Pickles has a
weird fetish. Uh, well,now he has a I'm gonna put my
host in the bathtub like it's likeit's like singularity of purpose. Well,
(18:21):
it's not only the host. Iam a touring bluegrass musician, Okay,
but then I wasn't as big asthem. Oh hold on, all right,
so we gotta we gotta back upa little bit. I bought my
first bar. How old were youfucking? It was two thousand and four
half is hard carry the two.So I I was Uh, it was
(18:45):
twenty one, twenty two, andI bought my first beer. You bought
the fucking whole bar. Uh.And I'm sitting at the end of the
bar beer uh. And I foundthe cheapest bar in town and that was
my place. I love the environment. I love dive bars. I like
it. I like derelics. Ihad a full time girlfriend, okay,
(19:07):
while you owned a bar. WhileI owned a bar, I watched everyone
else fuck people on. I havea bunch of money in my pocket and
I'm pretending like I don't got shitsmart. It's right off the slopes,
so you've got Gondola Square, okay, and then if you were to trail
(19:29):
off right uh Ski, I'll putthe Google earth link which uh slop site,
that's what it was called, sideslope site, not apra Ski slope
side where uh. And they toldme how much money they were in debt
for taxes. And the next morning, Um, I went to the bank
(19:53):
and I need a cashiers check forthis number. And I show up to
the bar the next day and Igo, hey, I'm pouring myself a
beer. It's fur myself a shotand they go what are you doing?
And I go, well, Iowned the place. Yeah, that's boss
(20:17):
moved, dude. And they're like, no, you don't. And I'm
like, actually, I have acheck in my hand. Do you have
Did you talk to your lawyers yesterdaylike you said you were going to?
And they go, no, Iwill now though, yeah, I will
now. Yeah. And it wasa decent sized check. It paid for
(20:37):
all their taxes for like five years. Wow. I told them they're not
allowed to drink there anymore. That'samazing, that's my dream. No,
because they were doing lines on thebar oh when I walked up. No
customers, They're just bored as fuck. Yeah, and that's why I was
like, I got this at XGames two thousand and four. Um I
(21:03):
saw yeah, fully naked, youbasted. Did you get a picture?
And I'm doing I'm doing lines offof pool table with and I'm not one
to do cocaine or anything, butI had already been drinking for eight or
(21:25):
nine hours and I didn't have adderall. I didn't have a wake me up,
right, I didn't have a Columbiancoffee yeah, marching powder yeah,
and uh yeah, So I'm watchingher do a food photo shoot completely wasted
(21:45):
making sandwiches for people in snowboard gear. And I'm still running a full bar
and party house like like a speakeasy, like out of a house. Yeah,
I'm gonna trying to be as illegalas possible. I had five on
staff security guards at my house andI was working with Mahogany Ridge and I
(22:11):
was the top of their list.I was like a one hundred and thirty
kegs per month. Oh wow,the cops quit coming over because everyone was
tips certified or whatever certification. Andthere's someone that came up with a plastic
cup and said he had a housecup. I only handed out specific glass
(22:33):
cups. Okay, so he gothost. We started like nine stories.
We didn't finish nine stories, butwe've for your pleasure listeners, have created
a bullet point sheet so that wecan finish all of trips stories and bring
you some resolution. So how areyou today, buddy, I'm super just
(22:53):
had a great comedy show went reallywell. Tell me about that real fest
so the listeners can hear. Iwas hilarious. My Red Sox joke didn't
really land. It was about thekid that fell out of the stands into
the bullpen and he wasn't hurt.He had to go to the hospital.
They stopped the game, but Ifollowed the Red Sox. I was like,
when did we sign herrombe to thepitching staff? And nobody laughs.
(23:18):
You're laughing. I wish you wereat the show. I love your jokes
for days. Man, Thank you, buddy. You were in a knee
on Lab. We were on thatknee on Lab. Okay. So I
was the TA for a bunch ofstuff at the Evergreen State College and I
one of my things, I hada key to the whole school. There's
(23:38):
a happy Land does exist. I'mnot going to talk about happy Land unless
you want to ask about it later, Okay, but happy Land is a
lore, a myth. So we'regonna talk about happy Land. Okay.
It has a ball pit, ithas weird TVs. It is stuck three
floors below ground level. You've gotto go through hoops to get in there.
(24:02):
But it really does exist for allmy Greeners out there. I have
been there. I have had sexin happy Land. Is anyone else there
or now? It was just me. I was just playing with my left
hand. All right, We're notgonna go into that. But the neon
lab um uh in the I hada key to it. And in the
(24:26):
middle of the night, once thebars clothed, I would, you know,
be with someone and I would belike, Yo, you want to
do something cool? You want togo make some neon And if that's not
a pickup line, I fucking don'tknow what one is. Yeah, and
we would go back and do allkinds of naughty things. And uh,
(24:48):
I have a scar from having sexum because we rolled over on the table
and a bit of neon went intomy rip gauge um and a bit of
neon tube. Okay, neon tubespecifically right, because it takes tubes to
hold the kneon. There's electrodes andyou have a Tesla conductor that burns everything.
(25:12):
I could go. I could talkabout it for an hour. It's
like a real bright idea. Yes, but you get to play with fire
in glass. What sexier than thatwith a guy you just met? That's
true? Word that you know?Fucking hell? That is uh, that
(25:33):
is like taken ecstasy. I takerufies all the time. I never get
laid. But yeah, if Ihad a neon lab at my disposal with
the key. Yeah, I'd probablygo bend some light with them. Yeah,
yeah, it was amazing. Itwas. Yeah, a girl.
I had to take a girl tothe hospital one time because she got several
bits of neon in her ass.Well, there's so many hairy day.
(25:56):
Yeah, my folks story one checkTrip takes a girl roll of the hospital
after he gets neon in her ass. What better pickup line is there?
We're talking we're talking about shards ofwell not the tube. I mean she
did get the tube, but hey, there were shards involved. It was
(26:17):
it was an all night experience wherethey're digging out um shards of neon or
shards of glass of pirex glass.Oh my god, that's out of her
Yeah, little bits. I'm nottalking about like, ladies, all your
one night stands that you regret.It could have been worse. You could
have been with Trip in a hospitalgetting neon tubes, pirex glass taking out
of your ass. Hey, wehad a great time before. It wasn't
(26:41):
about usually. Yeah, there waslots of fire. There was ribbon burners.
I showed her how to burn thetubes and put um gas into them,
and that turned her on. Whenthe Tesla coils went on and all
the electricity is going and uh,uh what what's that? Uh? What's
the electric chair called in Florida?Um, I have no idea. Oh
(27:04):
there's a name for it. It'suh well, nevertheless, uh times that
by four and that's the amount ofelectricity that is flowing in front of us.
Oh my god. Yeah, becauseyou got to burn the tube,
yeah, to clean it and getall the impurities out before you put the
gas in, because it'll explode otherwise. Ah, is that what happened?
(27:29):
Like all the impurities weren't ou exploded? We actually I gave her we completed
a Neon thing that glowed, andI gave it to her with all the
connectors and everything to plug in.And then we were doing our deal um
on the bench and uh I rolledover and I got a bit of glass
(27:55):
in my side and look at this. This is the scar. Oh wow,
Yeah, you can't see it,but there's a scar there. And
she had to spend four hours gettingglass pulled out of her ass n every
time. And we went and hadbreakfast and brunch. How does she like
(28:15):
her egg? Scrambled her for toless? How do you? How do
you like your mimosas? By thebottle please, I just got out of
the hospital. Yeah yeah. Andshe couldn't sit down, so we ate
at the bar because she yeah,she had to stand and eat. That's
(28:36):
just one story from the Neon Lab. Oh my god, there was the
bauttery that happened in that place.Because it's neonf you light up my life,
I'm gonna tell you. Oh,thanks, pal, you do too.
All right, So now we're gonnamove on to DJ's, the place
where you threatened to beat the managerand spanking with your belt, and naturally
they hired you right after. Well, now I didn't threaten him. I
(28:56):
was in my head. Oh butyou actually said that out and it was
snowing. It was January and Iwas walking around in a suit and I
got hired on the spot. Uh. The stories there, Okay. The
first one I'm going to tell is, well, a you're not allowed to
drink in the restaurant as a server, you know, sure, or a
(29:19):
bartender. It's yeah, I'm usingquotation mark. You're allowed. Yeah,
you're not allowed. No, no, no. And the kitchen staff isn't
supposed to be high on blow andmath right yeah. Yeah, so um,
we had all these different hidden spotswhere the bartenders, yeah, off
(29:41):
camera, where the bartenders would bringus cocktails, not shots that it would
have to be a drink um.Yeah, less obvious, and we were
just shit faced. There was acouple of times I had to sleep outside
because I was just so drunk fromthis guy so dedicated to his job.
Yeah, we would have split shifts, and as a server and a bartender,
(30:06):
when you get a split shift,you just go to another restaurant and
get some food. And we drankfor an hour and come back. This
chick came in hot in the morningand she uh went out and had a
bunch of drinks during her shift break. Comes back and she is obviously hammered,
(30:30):
droopy eyes, slurred speech, motorfunctions not working, and she's taking
They somehow put her on a fourteenor twenty top. There was an upstairs
without a dumb waiter, so youhad to run till you went up there.
(30:51):
No no, no, no,no, no, no no,
this is terrible. Go ahead upstairs, no dumb waiter. Hey, let
me hear the dumb waiter thing.You had a joke, that's what it
was. Yeah, okay, no, that is the joke. And she's
walking out with a tray for likesix of them. It's the first tray
(31:12):
coming out. And she passes out, just goes down, glass shattering everywhere.
Oh my god, no, shefell and when she fell, she
kind of lifted the tray and sothe tray full of spaghetti and pizza and
stuff all fell on her. Andshe nailed herself and knocked herself out.
(31:37):
And and we're all standing there comingwhy didn't you send her home? Also?
Should I laugh for help? Yeah, I'm the first to laugh and
then to help. Always I'm ahorrible person like that. I will always
laugh at you, and then I'llbe the first one to be like someone
grabbed their legs or yell, youneed pitches or I don't know, let's
(32:00):
let's do this. But I gottalaughs. And uh yeah it took she
she was passed out even as thethe emergency crew um came and picked her
up off. And this is PearlStreet mall. Yeah, so it's a
walking mall. You can't just walkin to it now, you gotta The
(32:22):
ambulance drove up onto onto the pedestrianmall, onto the pedestrian mall because the
alleyway was blocked by trucks. Ohmy god, I know. It was
the most It was the most embarrassingsituation I have seen, with the exception
of the next story. Oh whatdo we got u? So uh,
(32:43):
some of the servers needed their differentassortment of fun things and they sent this
guy off to go get it,and one of the servers let him let
it was a she, Yeah,she let him borrow her um car and
he flipped it coming back with thestuff, with the stuff, and he
(33:08):
left the car. He brought thestuff back to everybody, and there was
a full restaurant meltdown because it washer prized car. And what was she
doing? Like, just she wasshe was hungover and some fucking lift up.
Yeah, she needed to lift up, lift the car. And here's
(33:29):
the lift up about the car.Well, don't don't ask about the car
right now, just do a coupleof lines. Yeah. Yeah, oh
my god, Yeah, we needsome Brazilian marching powder. Oh my god.
Yeah. So that's just but yeah, that was a ship show.
They closed the restaurant down for twohours. But because everybody was just so
pissed, so pissed, and we'retalking about BJ's Brewery. Everybody get our
(33:52):
staff is pissed right now. Yeah, yeah, our staff is losing their
ship. Please please, everyone vacant. We'll take care of your bills.
Everything, here's to go boxes.Please leave. Oh my god, that's
amazing. That's unheard of. No, it's not unheard of, because I
saw it the first time I've heardof it. It's amazing. No,
(34:13):
no, no. The kitchen staffwas the reason we shut down, of
course, because he was helping thekitchen. He's a kitchen guy. If
he's gonna go no, no,he's a server, server. And they
allowed him to leave on on hisshift to go like everyone allowed him to
go do this. We took histables and he flips the car on his
(34:35):
way back and he still comes backwith everything. Soldier, He's like,
I still got it, let's go. No. No, he walked in
hot on a mission. Yeah.Yeah, he said he went around the
corner and did like a whole bunchof stuff. Because that was a wild
experience. Um. I was ontour in two thy ten and uh we
(34:58):
we had extended our tour in Coloradoby like a month and a half because
we just kept getting gigs and wegot studio time and things just kept going
our way, and we're leaving Coloradoand we're in the middle of Nevada and
I shit, you not. Youknow those signs that say you have one
hundred and fifty miles to the nextget some gas. My dad calls me
(35:23):
shortly after that and it's like,hey, son, um, hey,
how's tour going. And I'm tellinghim about it. Maybe twenty seconds in
he goes, well, I don'tcare about that. Are you ever going
to graduate college right now we're talkingabout this? Yeah? And I was
(35:45):
like, yeah, sure, letme. I guess I have cell service.
Let me call him. My collegeand I called him and they told
me how many credits I had andthey were like, shit, you should
have graduated like three years ago.So I pulled a I pulled a Van
(36:06):
Wilder. Actually I pulled a BertKirchner. Yeah. Um, and school
for seven years and you're not aYeah, yeah, totally. My dad
was totally pissed, and uh,I ended up getting two bachelors and two
miners because I had that many credits. They didn't know what they can.
They went, you can, whatdo you want? Sorry for our oversight,
(36:30):
thanks for the extra money, butalso you got two degrees. Yeah,
yeah, what do you want?So to go back? Um.
I had this roommate. Um thatwas horrible, horrible if it's awful,
human devout religious utah um, yes, I didn't want to say it.
(36:52):
Um. And he had this Uhhe had his girlfriend who lived in like
Wiscon Center or something. They werehigh school sweethearts, and he would spend
every waking hour talking to her phone. Oh it was impossible. Uh So.
(37:12):
Uh one day he fucked with mebecause I had a lady friend,
uh come over and I just fuckit. We're gonna do the deal.
I don't care about him. Henever leaves the room, and we can't
have sex in front of your roommate. So we're just gonna go. And
he screwed with me somehow. UhSo I went and got some salmon,
(37:36):
and I put it in a shoebox. Semon, Oh salmon, Okay,
some salmon? Um you know skiyeah yeah it U. I Uh,
I've moved all of his stuff underneathhis bed and stuck it underneath his bed.
Oh god. Oh yeah. AndI slept in other people's rooms while
(37:59):
it became rotten. Uh So,when I got out of the dorms,
my roommates at the Appray ski house. Uh. They went to go get
some molly and instead of getting atent or you know, whatever it is,
whatever the scale is, Yeah,you want to ground usually, Yeah,
(38:22):
they got a whole bag because thepeople that they got it from were
so fucked up that there was abag the size of my forearm or an
ounce. And they they did itall that night. Yes, and one
of my roommate, one of myroommates, uh found out that he was
(38:44):
h He changed from uh loving awoman to loving a man yea, and
yeah, he it brought out histrue colors. He had kind of talked
about it before and he had thisguy that he hung out with all the
time, but he went full bore. Uh. And Uh my other roommate,
(39:07):
UM was leaning against the wall andhe goes, God, trip,
I wish I had standards so Icould lower him and get laid. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And the funnything about her is, uh we
(39:29):
had tried to sleep together, uhin Grand Lake like eight years prior.
Uh. Uh, We're getting downto business and I literally can't find it
because I'm worried about orangutans. Itwas a forest and I tried to part
(39:50):
the waters a head. I wentout. I said, I had a
hard one and I, uh,I said, you know what, I
got a round out to my carand grab a condom and I stood outside
for twenty minutes in the cold tomake it go away. And I went,
I'm sorry, I just I'm notfeeling it. Yeah, I know
(40:12):
the smell. I'm talking about fourinches of hair of hair. It's a
scent trap. Oh yeah, No. It was miserable. That's why I
could never be like like I was, like, I think about pirates.
You know what I'm like, Yeah, pirates, you think about pirates are
Yeah, I'm going down there now. I did the smell test and I
(40:37):
went no, no, no,and I stood outside. I stood outside
naked, in front of all theneighbors because I couldn't get into the car.
I left my keys downstairs, soI'm just standing there walking around butt
ass naked. Which did a betteralternative, Yeah yeah, And there was
no getting up again. And uh. I had very politely asked her leave
(41:00):
because my family was going to beback soon. And years later, the
same roommate who got all the molly, and my whole house completed. We
have six roommates an entire ounce ofMolly in one evening. And there's two
of us, my girlfriend and Ithat only did a little bit, and
(41:23):
the whole rest of the house justnailed it. Yeah, nailed it.
I think one of them booft it. I'm not sure. Yeah. And
uh so, Um, the roommatethat I'm talking about the decided, uh
came to a realization about And Iappreciate that he came to a realization.
(41:45):
I love the LGBT. Yeah,good for them. I love less competition.
I love less competition, but there'sno competition from this guy. It's
like one dude picking off another dude, which takes away two dudes from like
trying to get into Yeah. Um, and she wouldn't drink. So the
girl that moved in with us,I walked into the house after we had
(42:07):
moved in, and I look ather and I go, oh my god,
No, it's the same girl.Oh no, Oh. It was
miserable. She would never come outof her room and I constantly said she
was a closet drunk, and shewatched One Tree Hill all the time.
(42:30):
Uh and uh she actually wrote scriptsfor One Tree Hill. Wow. Um.
But when she moved out because theother roommate said, you know,
I just don't dig women anymore.When we moved her out, there were
four hundred bells in her closet.She was literally a closet drunk. Wow,
(42:52):
I'm running a speakeasy out of myhouse and I have a bar.
Check check, check check. Iwent out cipher a cigarette one time and
I come back in and there's lineson the counter. Here's like eight women
naked. Yeah, there's nine orten dudes naked, and they're just fucking
(43:16):
everywhere. Wow, And I'm going, what the I have a cigarette,
I have a girlfriend. Yeah,I can't be involved in this. This
is terrible. Yeah, no,no, this is just rude. All
of you put your clothes back on. Yeah, get if I'm not getting
no getting yeah. Yeah. Andthen uh my girls showed up and goes
(43:37):
what in the fuck And I go, well, do you want to fuck?
And she goes yeah, but notin front of all of them.
And so we went back to thekitchen. Yeah, and we come back
out and there's molly and coke andother mushrooms I think, or as tea
(43:58):
or something, and yeah, Igave Carte launch to Once you paid,
you can go behind the bar youwant. Yeah, the doors locked,
the blinds are closed. Uh,that's just one story of many. Because
I owned it for two and ahalf years. That ship was going on.
Yeah, from two to five.That's fun. That's fun. That's
(44:21):
fun, especially when you own thebar. Oh yeah, oh yeah,
no, no, no, itwas insane to bauchery security tapes up on
porn hub for money. Yeah,I'm not even I'm not even talking about
what happened in my house because thestuff at my house was weird. That's
weird. But bar, but atthe bar, it's weird. But yeah,
(44:42):
no, that was That was mein college. Um, you love
you love mushrooms, love mushrooms,you love mushrooms. Okay, So I
talked about how I took an ounceof mushrooms. Yeah, um at crossing
stools in Nash showe in Dallas.Yeah. Uh. And so there's three
of us. If I bring itinto the venue, I might as well
(45:04):
bring it inside of me into thevenue. Yeah, uh, three of
it. Well, we were alsovery well trained at that point. Yeah.
People that know me and know thisknow what I'm talking about. I
I bought a bar, yeah exactly. He won the lottery exactly. Uh.
(45:27):
We're sitting there and um one ofmy best friends in the world,
bear were blood brothers. He Uh. He had a girlfriend and she didn't
do the same stuff as us.She liked her bls, she liked the
occasional shot, but it wasn't likea thing for her. And we didn't
(45:49):
even drinking. I didn't start drinkinguntil I was in college. Uh.
There's reasons for that, but Ididn't really start getting into my full self
college. And we're all sitting there, four of us. Uh, and
uh, there's myself, a ladylady friend not relations with me, just
(46:13):
another lady. Um, my bestbud and his girlfriend. His girlfriend didn't
know we were on mushrooms, andshe didn't know that we were as high
as we were because I gave themat an ounce and I took announced ahead.
(46:35):
Uh no, she got a realpist. When we got out of
that, I could see the music. There was four there was there was
four. There was four streamers thatwere neon um or banners, you know,
Yeah, probably six foot wide.From where I was. They looked
large. Everything looks large, sure, but I could literally see the sound
(46:59):
waves. That's all I could see. Els and it's CROSSI steals a Nash
and they played CSN in its entirety. It's like their greatest album. I
mean without Neil Young, but it'stheir greatest album. And I could see
the music. And we leave andshe is yelling bears um. Girlfriend is
(47:24):
yelling at him the whole time inthe car, and the person next to
me is like a rocking in herseat, and I'm going, I'm having
a ball. I'm having a greattime. I mean she ab to stop.
Yeah, And we get We getback to our cars and I reluctantly
(47:45):
get into my car, definitely seeingthings that aren't there yea, And I
look over at her and she isrocking back and forth, and she goes,
please don't run over the frogs.And I looked back and there's three
rows of people that all look thesame, six foot mail, dark hair
(48:08):
ye running at seventy miles an hour, smiling at me, and I go
and it took me a second.I'm still in my lane. And I
looked back and there's three rows ofpeople running at me, and she's screaming
about me running over the frogs,and I'm going, yo, I'm trying
(48:29):
not to hit people, right,now, holy shit, were you doaring
idiot reservation? Bindy chats? No, no, no, I was.
I saw something on like Unsolved Mysteriesthat was like this. Now, I
was on six thirty five or LBJFreeway and something like that. And I'm
sitting there, please will you calmdown? I need you. I'm seeing
(48:50):
things too. And then we gotback to her house and for whatever reason,
we watch Eternal Sunshine, which wasnot okay on Trips No, and
it's like, weird the subject matter. Yeah, oh Jesus, that's Odyssey.
Oh no, no, no,it was bad. And they're all
smiling at me. Yeah it's running. Yeah, yeah, I know.
(49:15):
It was hysterical, and uh,you know, I guess that's all I
really got to talk about writing.Dude, fucking we hit all the bullet
points. We wrapped up all theTrip stories from episode one. Yeah,
so we need to wait for anotherepisode. Oh yeah, we'll do it
again to hear about Olympia and thebeginning of my tour life you are visit,
which will go into Yeah, folks, that was Trip completing his stories
(49:38):
for you, getting you off thecliffs so you didn't have to hang there
so long. Thanks again, Trip, for coming in crushing it and we'll
do it again soon. Hey realfast, like, give some stars,
give a review, buy his book. Uh, support this man. This
podcast is amazing. He really lovesto bring out the best in people and
(50:02):
we want to hear more. Ohmy man. All right, everybody,
all right, barbarians. We'll seeon the next one. Cheers. Well,
it's last call, so let megive you a tip. If you
show up to a bar in aparty bus unannounced, there's a special place
in hell for you and your friends. Folks, it's been a blast.
You don't have to go home,but you can't stay here. And a
(50:25):
call to my fellow boostlingers. Sendin your stories to Cocktails and Wasted Nights
at gmail dot com. You canremain anonymous if you'd like. Thanks for
listening, subscribing, downloading, andspreading the word. Don't be afraid to
give me a good review, evenif you're lying. It really does help
build our community of barbarians. Andcheck out my video. Just close it
on YouTube. You will laugh,damn it. If you want to support
(50:47):
the podcast, you can do thaton Patreon. Link is in the show
notes. We'll see you next timeon Behind Bars cocktails and wasted nights.
Cheers. One thing I don't getpet get before