Have You Ever Hit A Woman ?

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/blind-but-now-i-see--4777474/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Back at it for another episode of the brav and
Now Sea Show. I'm your host, f web seen O.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Damn, you gotta let some things go, my brother.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
I'm the official blind Stupper, the voice of the disableds,
and I'm in here with the Queen of the Chair,
the Queen of the Queen of the throne. Bit right.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yeah, it's hot wheels for real again aka Frenchy minage.
Not too heavy on the minaje though, because I'm a
lady and we're back and today it's Friday. So what
we doing? What you're doing after this?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Now I'm chelling. I'm staying at the clubs for all.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
You're staying at the club So your birthday you graduated
from it.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, you know, I'm bigger, better things. I'm trying to
invention into different things that it were. You know, Okay,
I don't want to rough shoulders with nobody.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
No, actually everybody in own lane, you know, all right?
I like that.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
I mean shout out to the mental health out there today.
Mental health awareness till Friday.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Mental health awarness say world, it's important. That's what big
on in this podcast. And tomorrow you're going.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
To the Mental Health Expold. That's as friend, I said,
you want to you coming trying to come to hell? No,
I said, damn no.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
I can't give up a Saturday morning. This is my
first Saturday morning getting to sleep in for a while.
When I seen the time, I googled us say no,
especially after I didn't go do that run for disability.
I know y'all ain't judging me. I know y'all ain't
judging me. If th ky, I ain't do that run
for this, they left me hanging.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I did a five K, the next one, the next
one we locked up.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
The next one three k. No, it was five k.
Five k is three miles though, that's probably what you confused.
But I did it, guys, We did it. Joe. My
muscles was hurting, everything hurt it, and I rolle that
whole thing by myself, sweating. I was like, when I
came to the end, everybody talking to me, how do

(01:50):
you feel? How do you feel? Give me some water?
That's how I felt. They sending it talking to me,
everybody talking.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Shut the fuck up. Wheelchair sounded like that.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
You know this should be sound. That's just sounded like
the MTA sounded like the train. At that point, maybe.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
You put some mouths on that thing.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
But also with it being mental health awareness, it's also
a blind awareness month.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Shout out to all the blond niggas out there that
want to be like me, you.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Know, and the ones who don't, the ones who just
want to.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Be Everybody want to be like seeing I'm like like Mike.
Everybody want to be like Mike. Everybody want to be
Sino who the didn't want to grow up to be
like Joe and or Ivison? All right, so all the
blond people want to be like.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
You know, I like, you know, I like to think
of myself as like that for the wheelchair, you know,
So I respect it, I understand.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
But we'll be getting it.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
So it's also domestic it's also domestic violence Awareness Month.
And as someone who survived domestic violence on multip occasions,
sides to save, that's what today's episode is about, just
to bring more awareness to it and show how close
to home it can be and how you can help
others in a situation. Absolutely, so to start us off,

(03:00):
because we can't we can't be hypocritical. So have you
ever been a victim of domestic valucemestic violence? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Have you ever just wanted to kick it off on me.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Have you ever been a victim? Have you ever been
a victim of domestic violence? Because men are victims?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
You definitely hit me?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
No, but seriousness, No, absolutely, they definitely hit me. How
many times have you been DV?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Numerous times? A lot of time women.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, slap punched in my face. I ran from Yeah, absolutely?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
And did you what did you feel in those moments
when they hit you? How did you feel?

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Let me get away from shure you bugging? You wild
and you crazy like and like it's not a joke,
but not for nothing. When people hit domestic violence on men,
they ignore it.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
But look how not to be funny, but you laughed
the ENTI you had an immaculated smirkle in your face.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Y'a did laugh like even though they hit me this time,
And I'd be like, like my big self, your little
self is like, you can't hurt me.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
That's how I be feeling now. I know some bitches
that can pack a punch. You can't hit by the
right bitch you're falling over.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
And like Carrisha shild are running from.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Off because I'm realistically I'm if I was walking, I'll
be five nine five ten. You know what I'm saying.
So like I'm tall, my hands are big. You hit
up hit that punch?

Speaker 3 (04:23):
So have you committed?

Speaker 2 (04:26):
We're not into that yet.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
No.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Wait, so okay, Well have I hit someone before? Yes,
yes I have, but I've never hit someone. Uh No,
I can't say that I have hit people before.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, men, men, yeah before the wheelchair.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
In the wheelchair mostly you got to remember most of
my life in a wheelchair in a wheelchair.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
So like you know you are you are og.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, I've been in a chair for fourteen years.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
Question, how did Nigga let you get that close to
his face?

Speaker 2 (04:59):
My arm alone?

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Pow, But still.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
It don't matter. In the bad sitting in the car,
sit in the bed, sit in the car, meet me me,
go through that phone, make me meat. What you said? What?
What the fuck? What cold killery saying on baddies you
talking about?

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Well up in it on my in the of bus lips,
bloody noses. Had Nigga's hanging over the sink. My mama
got him hanging over the sink while his nose is
that you see that right? But this is I did
laugh and that is not right. But this is this
is why we have to re recalibrate our minds to
see that domestic violence towards men is wrong. Because I

(05:42):
have a son. I don't want no girl thinking she
could just be beating on my baby, you know what
I mean? Absolutely, I don't condone it. And then when
men react, we get all he reacted. But it's only
so much a person could take. Because everybody's seen human
and everybody has natural reflexes. There are some men that
will swing back based on the fact that you know
they got hit first, and it takes a lot to

(06:03):
get to that point. Is it right? No, But I
don't judge those so much as domestic violence as I
do the ones that do it unprovoked. Now, if no
one's putting their hands on you and you simply just
too to a female, you're a weak human being. You
are a poor excuse of a man. And if you
are a man, you can walk away if a woman
is not allowing you to walk away after she If

(06:23):
she hits you once and you don't choose to walk away,
you choose to sit there, and you choose to continue
to allow her to hit you till you feel like
you're gonna explode. To get hit, then It's like at
that point, you're kind of asking to be in these
type of situations. You know what, Yeah, if you're able
to walk away, if you're able to walk away, then
do so. But if somebody is not letting you walk
away and they keeping you, sometimes you got a smack

(06:44):
bitch not French. No, it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. But it's
just like get them up, you to restrain them. We
just go, let's go. God, we just can't let a day.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
It's like, how can a woman stop you? Really?

Speaker 2 (07:00):
How can a woman stop you? Oh, there's women that
because domestic got violence schools further than just hands. Now,
I know people sat like, people stacked, somebody got a knife.
I'm not women. Women run run over people with cars.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
I know, I know for sure they killed.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
There's there's a lot of vehicular manslaughter just because I
don't know if that's vehicular homicide.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
I'll watch for my man.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
And yeah. So it's like, you know that women and
there's people that will kill there's women that will kill
a man. If I don't think because of oh she's
the woman, she can't do this, and that this.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Oh no, she got a knife. Everything is off limits.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Oh you're knocking around.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Everything is off limits. I'm sorry, and it's not. It's
not even to say it like it's cool. But I
gotta live. I gotta get out this door. So if
you're back a knife out, I do it, and then
we call the cops. I wait for the cops. But
be both going. She tries she pulled a knife, we
both going.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Okay, So my next questioning, my next question to you.
Have you ever heard a woman?

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Oh my god, yes, I did.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Unprovoked or provoked. When I say provoked, it means like
she hits you and then you hit her back. So
let's okay. So let's I just said the people that
did it, you know, provoked kind of get us slide.
So let me hear the unprovoked part, because that is wrong.
Arguing about what you cheating?

Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, no I had to do about cheating, just arguing
like we just arguing.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
I was very angry. So it was like, this is
when you was blind. I was blind. I never hit
a woman.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
When I can see, Oh she let a blond nigga.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
No, I might, YO might be over Blindlet's get that
shit straight. That's my I always connect, but not to
say it's good.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
But we argu that going left, we don't mean.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Even not booth set to just being to sucking up ahead.
It is why you get that ship.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
We arguing again.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
My rage is just going my rages to a point.
I just blanked out.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
And I blank. It's real, yo, It's all the way,
all the way to the point. I'm just like, yo,
what I say that? Pop? Boom and then she hit
the world bounce back.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
I hit her again, boom, but like slam, and I'm
like when it was all set and done, I'm like,
what the fuck is I'm doing now? But like I'm
calming down now, I'm losing it cause it's like I
never in my life putting on hands on a woman.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
I'm just like, you can hit me. I know you.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
I'm bigger than you, I'm stronger than you. You can't
you hear me, don't do nothing for me, like you
ain't doing nothing to me. But for me to do that,
I lost it and I'm like, damn, I treated her like.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
She was a nigga, but she stood there.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Back trying to grab my hands, and it's like, you
can't do it. I feel you trying to grab me.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
I'm a slam. I'm struck than you trying to grab me.
I'm a move like I know how to fight.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
Especially especially because you're blind, because I can imagine because
you only have like your physical sense rich no sit you.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
All I have.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
And then in my mind it's too it's like I
can't see they could see. I can't let them get
the best of pixel up to try to knock me out.
So it's like making sure I'm not feeling like at
that moment, it's not I don't see this a woman
in front of me.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
I feel like target.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
I gotta take this target out. And so they grabbing me,
Like yo, Chris, what are you doing? I upper cut
it dropped, and it's like, damn, bro, this is a
When it was all said and done, this is a
fucking woman.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Brod she stay with you?

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Did she stay?

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (10:29):
After you did that, I don't know. They got the
fuck out the house. Anybody was scared.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
No, I'm talking about did she stay with you?

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Like relationship? How he wasn't all right? All right?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
One of them we were together and it was like
she was like this this time we were together. She
was like, yo, somebody text your phone. I'm like, it's not.
It's not a big deal. I put it on my pillow,
close my eyes.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
The argument. Argument, then.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
I wasn't giving her the energy that she I guess
she was like I was just brushing her off, like whatever.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
She put her hands on me and it didn't do
nothing to me. But I got out the bed and
it's like trying to back up. Punched her right real quick.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
She said, somebody texted your phone. Yeah, meaning like another
woman texted your phone. Yeah okay, so walk that back
and tell the story from there.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
She yeah. But didn't I ask you, nigga if it
was because you were she?

Speaker 3 (11:24):
I said both. I wasn't cheating, just a number.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
God, here we go.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
It wasn't a crazy message. It wasn't. It was a
girl popped up on the screen.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
So being that I didn't like confronted, like this is
what it is, x y Z, but you're serious it was.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
I didn't even ask her read who it was.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
I straight put it under my pillow, like yo, stop
looking at my phone. So it was like I dismissed
her feelings. So females are very sensitive creatures. So she
hit you hit me.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
I got up. It wasn't crazy. Hit got up.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
And beat her, and she like she grabbed her YO crust,
like stop stop. But at that moment I didn't hear nothing,
and I didn't even realize it was her. It just
I blanked out because at this time I was not
getting to help. I'm heavy, I'm medicating myself on drugs.
So then it was like, YO, just get the fuck
away from me if I kill you. And then like

(12:26):
she got out the room and she like she still
wanted willing to stay because it's like, yo, like what
is wrong with you? But I'm like, yo, just leave
me alone. Like I'm heavily medicated, I don't care about nothing.
Then I didn't do the work on myself. So every
time we came into a situation where it's a fighting.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
I go back to the day I got shot.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
It's like you just that whole day plays in my
head to a point I can't let them get up
one off off And remember.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
You guys as PTSD when that has so it.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Was like I can't let them get up one off me.
You got that, you got, you got that punch. Nah,
I'm gonna make you feel like this, So.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
You feel like whenever it's something like that happens, it's
like you look at it back to the person who.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Didn't go back, go back to that day. I snapped
when it was all said and done and she left,
I called and I was crying, like, yo, I'm sorry,
like this is not me, Like.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
But why do when you do that after after they
be on a woman, they.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Say they cry and say, no, I wasn't. I wasn't myself.
I never jumped out the window to put my hands
on a woman, even when I could see you could
say the craziest sh it to me, go get your
nigga for me.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
So was that your last time putting your hands on
a woman?

Speaker 3 (13:32):
No, it was not.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
When was your When would you say the last time
you put your hands on a woman? About how long ago?

Speaker 3 (13:39):
Well, I ain't put my hands on a woman, and.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
No, lot like all this happened like between three to
four years from No, two to four.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
Years from so it's been about so after that.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
It's like now like me and my baby mother we
used to argue and all that, and she's one of
them that I put my hands on before I taught
me and her nigga got into it.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
I'm like, yo, keep then on the corner. He wanted
to be big and bad. I'm downstairs. She walks up
on the stoop. He walks up to this when you
was blind, I'm blind.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
I'm like, so you felt that Nigga was saiy yo?

Speaker 3 (14:14):
What did I tell you? She said?

Speaker 1 (14:16):
I told him to stay in the corner. I swung
connected with him. He fell down the stairs. Now it's like,
I'm not gonna go down the stairs because it's open space.
You're not going to get me. Bro, You're not gonna
get me. She goes up stairs, get my son. I
goes upstairs. I'm like, yo, bro, what did I say?

Speaker 3 (14:32):
I don't got nothing to do with that. And for
a moment, it just felt like you tried to get me.
You try to lick me.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Straight popped on the boom boom, She hitting the floor.
I'm dragging. I'm dragging.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
And it's like I felt bad because I did it
in front of the kids. I did it from the kids.
So I felt like after threw her out. But at
that moment, I ain't gonna lie. I didn't feel ship
because it's like she ran out, she left out my sister, boyfriend,
my sister, being fat down your broke corn, let's go.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
He like, nigga, I'm not finished yet. We're going to
find a snigger, bro. And you did this in front
of you, I felt played.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, but before we get into it, because that's that's
that's a different type of violence. That's not just that's
that's not do messive on it. So we can stay
on topic with this one because we have a lot
more to dive into. So when you did that in
front of your child, did you what did your child do?

Speaker 3 (15:24):
Cry? How not? For at that point, I don't know
what was going on.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
He was crying, He's asked you to get off his mother.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Everybody ran out the room at that At that point,
everybody was scared of me.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Everybody was scared of me.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
It's like this nigga can snapped any given time on anybody,
Like I don't snapped on my sister and she's trying
to make me happy like so it's like at that point.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Stay away from him.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
So everybody leaving, everybody running out from me and all that,
and it's like, I'm not done. Nah, I want I
want blood, I want I want to take somebody's life
because that's I felt.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
So you're so you feel like you. You are just
triggered by whenever something feels like you. When you feel
like something has the upper hand on you physically, you
lash out. Sometimes I got not no more no before
before you were healed, before you dealt with the ae
of it, that was your reasoning for.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Y'all got the best of me the first time when
I got shot. It's not gonna happen again.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I'm there and say, yo, that's big, because a lot
of men when they well, I I'm not going to
say you were a boy, but you were a boy
when you did those things. I was a little yeah,
so now you're a man. But a lot of boys
make excuses for themselves when they put their hands on
a woman. Oh I went through this or this and
the third. Let's speak there. It's no excuse. If a
woman puts her hands on you, leave her, don't go back,

(16:43):
walk away. Have respect for yourself, the same way you
would want your mother to have respect for themselves, the
same way we tell women, oh, leave, As a man,
you can leave to any can't nobody force you to
be in the situation. You can walk away. I cannot
walk away. So when every time that I was abused,
I've been abused in relationships since I was walking and

(17:03):
I obviously got in his chair from fifteen something. Yeah,
from the boy that took my virginity, put in their
hands on me because men try to use it as
a sense of control.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
That's young me being.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yes, me being.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
The way I am.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
I'm very outgoing, I'm very friendly, and a lot of
guys don't like that. They don't like for their women
to be friendly. They don't like for their women to
be so open, and they might deem it as like,
I don't know, flirty or whatever the case may be.
And a lot of times they say geminis are flirty.
I could flirt with somebody I'm not even attracted to
just because I'm just super like whatever, Like I'm a
chill girl. I'm a chill girl. It's just that. And

(17:40):
it's a lot of insecurity. So I used to blame
myself like, wow, well maybe if I didn't do this,
and maybe if I didn't do that, and not realizing
that it's nothing you could have did. If a man
wants to hit you, he's gonna hit you because he's
not okay with himself, something inside of himself, whether he's
seen his mother, become, whether he's seen his mother be abused,
whether he never had his father around, whether his mother
abused him, and now he wants to get back at
every female in his life because he felt like he

(18:02):
didn't have that power. So now he gets around relationships
with other women and he wants to take it out
on them because of what his mother did to him.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Or maybe it's share with breath.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Maybe it's just his underlying traumas or something else. Maybe
he was hurt by a woman before and in his
way of not allowing that to happen again, it's by
hurting a woman physically. We will never know these things
because again there's no excuse.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Or maybe he just a bitch exactly like a lot
of these it would be just excuses.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
With my situation, I've literally been trapped in someone's house.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
When you go walk, no from.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Walking, I'm not walking. And know what you share it.
I was messing with an older guy and that's the
first time. Ladies never messed with someone that's too old
for you, because they'll take advantage because they want that
control over you. That's why they'll do it. I was
fifteen and the guy was twenty six.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
The fuck you with do you need your ash?

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yes? I did. Where your fall at? My father had
no clue. My parents are separated at this point, so
I live with my mom and I'm with my dad
on the weekends. And then, you know, when you get older,
you don't you have the choice like, oh, I ain't
going to daddy house every weekend, no more. So I
just got shot. I'm fifteen at this point. Don't nobody
thinking I'm outside doing what the fuck I'm doing?

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Twenty six? Go crazy?

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, twenty six? And he was a proverb clearly.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
And he needed to die.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
I literally he roomed me into thinking what I was
doing was okay. I'd go to his house every day.
I moved off the blog. No, my mother did not
approve of it. She didn't know how old he was.
She just knew he was older and could tell, and
she was not happy with it. My stepfather he couldn't
believe it either. Everybody was just so mad at me.
My friends they're telling me, like, yo, what's wrong with you?

(19:38):
And he was from Ohio and he just had like
this rage. Some light skinned, blue eyed motherfucker white mixed
with black. You know, the motherfucker's be fucked up. And
he just had a lot of rage in him. I
don't even think he was white mixed with black. I
think he was a rad mixed with black. So he
had so many issues, and he came to New York.

(20:00):
He was running from something in Ohio. Maybe he did
something and they ran him out of there.

Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah. And then he had a lot of kids too.
So I remember one day I was just like, I
said something to him and he was like, what bitch,
Like he just latched.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Out on me.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
And it's not funny, but he took a Crayola says there,
and he was like a nigga like me, I'll kill
you if I love you when you say you don't
want to be with me and them, while I kill
a bitch that I love. Da da da da. So
I'm just looking and he put that shit to my heart,
but I'm like, just a crayola. This ain't about the
break night. But then it was like the way he
was stabbing it, like the pressure was going into my
chest and I'm like, yo, what the fuck. So then

(20:35):
at the time I had a hospital check as my
other chair was being fixed or whatever, he literally took me.
I'm strapped to the chair because I was like, I'm leaving.
He took me. He flipped the chair over, so I'm
still in the chair as he flipped it over, and
then he's just he lifted me up by my neck
and he just started punching me in the head. Like
I never understood why cartoons put stars overheads until I

(20:56):
started seeing. I started seeing those stars, and my air
like I just it went bee, like everything just felt
like I felt like I was on death, Like I
feel like I was losing a lot of blood. And
my chair was literally like an accordion. He smashed it.
He stomped on my chair till it wouldn't like it
was compressed, like it wouldn't open back up, so like

(21:18):
the chair was literally like you know how an accordion goes.
The chair was literally smashed together. And I'm my friend Max.
He's a golden glove, so he boxes. He kicked down
the door. He kicked on the door of my friends.
They literally saved my life. And he was like, yo,
he pushed them off me because everybody just let us argue.
They always let us argue, but that day, and Max
is the quietest person, like he's the calmest person even

(21:40):
with him being a his hands are licensed. He can't
go around, you know what I'm saying, just doing stuff.
So he's so chill, Like he's such a chill guy.
He's so calm. He reminds me a wolf is crazy.
And he literally just got him off of me, and
then they carried me to the room. I peed on myself.
He beat the shit out of me so bad, like love.
They ran him out of New York. He's not out
here anymore.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Your friends were already there.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
They it was like a trap house. Like the house
was like a swatter house. I think so other people
were in other parts of the house. So they heard
it and they kicked down.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
They got a goddamn book, Yo, you need.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
To Yeah, And I was trapped in his house and
he would tell my mom. He was texting my mother
from his phone like my phone, like, oh, she's at
Ashley's house or whatever like some my mom just thinking
because it's winter break.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
So if nobody really came in and he would have killed.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
You, I don't know, I could have just from my
head was literally and it's crazy, you know, God is
so good. I've never never I never had a mark
on my face. He was punching me so hard. But
it was like he was punching me in my head.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah, but for him to text your mother like you
ask somebody else.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
I don't know what he was doing. I don't. I
don't even think he had the courage to kill me.
I just think he was like that. I just think.
But that's how sometimes it happens, because these men don't
intend on killing you, but they just beat you so
hard that you can die. So as he's beating me
in my head, just literally punching me in my head,
punching me in my head, say if that thing would
a stab actually punctured my chest, do you know what

(23:05):
I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
I personally, I just felt like I didn't mean to
kill her.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Sometimes I know my strength.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
So if I'm just one of those niggas that just
putting my hands on women, I know it.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Me punching this woman one time in her face, you.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Can killed someone and that's what people don't understand, and
possibly kill her people don't understand. So imagine being in
a wheelchair and I literally cannot and this person has
steps from getting shot. My friend had came because his mother,
this is my son's godfather. I left him to death.
Shout out to Lille. He had came because I had
no wheelchair. So think about how I'm getting home. I
can't call my parents. If I call my parents, my

(23:43):
dad is going to jail. You know what I'm saying.
I can't tell my dad no story like this. Then
I'm getting my ass with a messing with a grown
ass man. I can't tell my mother this. My mother's
going to jail. So I'm just thinking about how to
protect myself, how to protect my parents, how to get
myself off this situation. Because I got niggas that's gonna
come outside for me. I got niggas that would have
I got niggas that would have crashed out and did
what they different. These are people people that I know
don't even know these stories. Do you know what I'm saying,

(24:05):
my bro, Yeah, you're stupid, My bro? What I told him?
I told him, I was like, hey, bring your mother's
wheelchair whatever, because it's mother, God rest her soul. She's
in a wheelchair. To tell, I said, bring your mother's wheelchair, come,
you know, get me or whatever. It's a blizzard outside
because it's winter break. This nigga came, no wheelchair. Just

(24:26):
was like, I'm carrying you to the cab. I'm like, bro,
you cannot carry like you not like you big, but
it's not like I'm heavy. Then you know the two
dollar cabs, you got to catch that on the boulevard.
I don't you got two dollar cabs in Brooklyn, So yeah,
you gotta catch them just on the boulevard. And we
was like not too far from the bulevard, but it's
a blizzard trying to carry so they literally held me
on one side each with the scrunched up wheelchair and

(24:47):
just pushed me. And we had to get on the
bus or whatever because my chair couldn't even fit into
a car the way he's fronted up. And then we
got in the bus. We got home. My mom like,
what happened to you wheelchair? I was like, it got
rolled over by a car. She was like, you show
and I just like when I seen my mother, I
was just so happy. I just felt safe because I
didn't feel safe for that whole time. And it's like,

(25:10):
you don't know if you're gonna make it home. You
don't know what this person, what it did to you,
And then you start to blame yourself and Unfortunately, that
was not my last situation with dev but that was
my worst, thank God. And I've had my wheelchair broken
again by my son's father. I'm not making an excuses
for him anymore. He threatened my life a lot of

(25:32):
times just because of his anger. He is a cheater.
He was an abuser, and a lot of people don't
seem Deamon as abused. And that's why I say, ladies,
be careful with putting your hands on people, because I
put my hands a lot on him a lot of
times before he ever swung on me or anything like that.
I've hit him a lot of times, just playfully being
angry or being mad. I have, and he literally, and

(25:54):
especially with a situation like me and it, you can
literally walk away. You could literally walk away from me.
He slammed my wheelchair across the highway and broke so
much so that this is the same chair and it's
still crooked. You can see the frame is crooked, like
if you said, if you see my leg up a
little bit. He punched me. He's hit me in front
of my son, and my son literally had to say mommy,

(26:17):
get away from my mommy, like he told him. He said,
get out just leave, get out, get away. And this
is two years old. My son did that and that's
when I knew. I was like, we can't be together.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Yeah, I heard a lot of the stories about y'all.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, it was Yeah, Shawn done broke it up. He
done took my wig through without the car. Sean had
to go pick my wig.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
Up out the car.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Really, it is right, because like when you text this
whole DV thing, I said, this is the route she
wanted to go. Last week, me and Sean we always talking.
Sean was like out there one time when he was
hitting on her. He said, I feel fucked up. I
should have spanked them right then and there.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, and it's like that that could be.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
He looked at Sean. What I would say is because
he sent me in front of other friends. And I've
had his other friends be like, well this is y'all,
you know, But Sean was the only one to really
look uncomfortable. Yeah, he was truly, like you could see
he was just disgusted by you. And he's like, yo,
what are you doing? What are you doing? And he's
just in the back of the car with the baby
and stuff, and he he threw my wig out the

(27:14):
car and then Sean went and got the wig out
the car and stuff like that, and I literally, I
literally saved this person's image. But then I started getting
threats again, telling me I'm going to die and stuff
like that. Just last weekend because of whatever. Right before
I broke my leg, he was in my house choking
me to death. And that's why I feel like God
made me bring I feel like God made me break

(27:36):
my leg because if not, I probably would have never
left him alone that soon. Because when I broke my leg,
he wasn't there for me, and it made me see like, no,
you really can't You ever pray to God to like,
God show me a sign, and then it's like to
prayer removal. You ask God to you ask God to
remove people that aren't for you, and you start losing
the people you love and it's like nothing you can
do can make this work with this person. And I'm

(27:58):
not gonna act like he just put his hands on
me every day for no reason. We've had nasty fights.
I put my hands on him. I do take accountability
in that, but I also know that again, exactly could
walk away exactly because a different and I see podcasts
now so will get his ass wet for off y'all.
But no, not even saying that because I don't even

(28:19):
want to promote that, because I don't even know.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's not promoting. It's like, as men, you got to
stop parting their hands on women. Yeah, is like, and
it's not just me.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
It's not just me. He's put his hands on He's
put his hands on other girls too, And it's like
people literally will tell you, oh, ladies, be careful. You
the first go that made me do this. You're the
only go that made me do this. This is because I
love you, that's not that's not love. Don't make no
nigga want to hurt you real love. Oh that bitch
just be like I see bitches, be like, oh can
I pussy's so good? He hit me, That's why he
beat me up. No, get you want to take care.

(28:50):
But he's going to make sure that thing is sure.
He gonna make sure it's for us. I'm a prim
He's not gonna sit there and want to hurt you
or harm you in that way. So at the end
of the day, ladies, protect your sell from those type
of people. Men. If you see a woman has those
qualities and she likes to get handy and stuff like that.
Let her know your boundaries, let her know you can't
tell it.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Wh would you walk away?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
And you walk away?

Speaker 3 (29:10):
Walk away? It ain't it ain't never worth it, walk
away and.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Both. I have a question. Have you ever witnessed domestic violence?

Speaker 4 (29:19):
Yeah, a couple a couple of times.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Have you ever intervened when you seen it? So can
I hear by the time you're intervened.

Speaker 4 (29:27):
Yeah. One time I was at my girlfriend's family's house
live right down the street from where I was staying,
and her older brother lived with her. Her older brother
and her and his girlfriend. They had just came from California.
They was in transition, kind of fun they footing in Texas.

(29:49):
So they stayed in the house too. They stayed in
the room, and there was always cool, you know, they
was always cool. They was always funny. He was mad cool.
I thought he was cool. And then one day her
name was Briann, and me and Brianna, and we was chilling,
and then I heard her I think her name was,
I don't remember her name. I think it was like
Emily or something like that. I heard her just kind

(30:10):
of making a sound in the other room. You know,
like she was in distressed. Unnatural, Yeah, just it was
sounding she was in distress, and naturally, like when you
were man like you just when you hear certain things,
when you feel certain things have you feel a natural
inclination to inquire about to do something about it. So
I went into the room, real man, Yeah, I went
into the room and this And let me just tell you,

(30:30):
I'm a young boy, you know what I mean. I'm
like a teenager probably like maybe like sixteen at best.
This nigga's like absolutely almost in his thirties, you know
what I mean, these grown people. And I went into
the room and I just seen him on top of her,
and she was just like begging him, like please let
me go, Please let me go. She was like, please
let me go. And he's so big over her. And

(30:50):
so I just went into the room and I just
I grabbed him by his realistically, he let me take
him down because I could. I really couldn't do nothing
about it, but I think just the fact that somebody else,
you know me, I put my arms around his neck
and I just pulled him back. And then she got
out the house, She grabbed the kids, she left, and then.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
It was crazy like me and him.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
We just sat there and talked after that, you know
what I mean, which was crazy, But yeah, that was
That was a moment when I intervened. And there's been
a cop I think there was another moment. I can't
really remember, But what I do remember is the moments
when I didn't.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
Intervene though, and why didn't you intervene?

Speaker 4 (31:26):
I didn't intervene because sometimes in life and everybody grow
up in different kind of ways, but the way I
grew up, the type of stuff I experienced growing up,
you know, you kind of understand there's a duality in life,
you know, and sometimes you see stuff and you understand
it's a part of a nature of things that just

(31:47):
you're not gonna change just because you implement, you put
yourself in the situation. Yeah, And it's certain street life
is it's a certain vibration that a certain kind of
people just live inside. You understand that, like, if I
put myself in this situation, it might not be worth me.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Not it's not even gonna change it. And then on
top of that, you're to jump you as as men too,
they have men getting involved men or women getting involved
in somebody else's relationship that is going through domestic violence.
A lot of people tend to kill people that get
involved in what they have going on because they know
that the person that their with is going to tolerate this.
So now there's somebody trying to stop what they tolerate.

(32:25):
This is a lot of people's to sick people. Beating
on people is their therapy. So now it's like you're
taken away from Now it's like you're taken away from
their therapy. You're taken away from what they're able to do.
So now you're trying to get involved. So now they'll
kill you. They if you try to help someone going
through domestic violence, somebody will try to hit you. If
he hits the person, he says he loves. What makes
you think that he won't hit you or vice versa,

(32:48):
save if it's a woman.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Recipes to my son Desmond little brother. He intervened in
a domestic violence situation and he was killed in Albany
and got shot nine times.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Mmm. Guy the god like he was beating on the lady.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
He told him, child, you talking about at that party
that was upstate.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
At the party, he told him to chill. The guy
told him, like you want to get it on. He like,
whatever you're wanna do win in the building to fight
the project.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh I heard about that. That's not seeing that's man brother,
that's my man's friend.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
And I understand it was it was different.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
You feel me And I called him her and he
was just broken, like he should have mind his business.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
I said, it's easy to say to mind your business,
bro like.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
But the people that's really grown up. There's people that
seen their mothers get abusing, will never want another man
to touch another woman. There's people that didn't see their
mother's get abusing and just love their mother so much,
they will have so much. If you love your mother enough,
you gotta respect for a woman period. You understand what
I'm saying, So you just don't even want to see
it go down. You look at men that do do
that as weak, and it's unfortunate that somebody had to

(33:58):
lose their life because they got involved in trying to
help someone else, when a real man would have said,
you know what, I'm not even gonna it's not even worthing.
I'm not gonna go this far. But at the same time,
a real man ain't gonna do that to even be
beating on a woman outside, you really don't give a fuck.
Those are people that don't care about jail crashing out.
Nothing in these the niggas that go to jail and
get beat on and treated like bitches and get beat
the bitch on. And half of these niggas that beat

(34:19):
on women is DL. If you hate a woman that bad,
you feel like you got to put your hands on
her for no reason. You yeah, you hate women, you
hate yourself. You probably gotta touch just a kid, and
now you want to touch a woman. And that's respectfully
the truth.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I've been in a couple of situations when I've seen
different shit.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
And today we have something different.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
So I actually got today.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
I asked a bunch of girls to share this story
about domestic.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
But hold on, before you even get a time. Have
you ever seen somebody getting as whip and you interfe it?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Not to say it, I get your ass with, but
you've seen somebody being abusing you interfere?

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yes, I have. I can't really say abuse. My parents
they were young when they got together, so they would
be going out towards each other, and I remember one
day my mom was just up in the air and
I took an umbrella, and I just screamed at my
dad and I was like, put my mommy down, you

(35:12):
know what I mean. Like I was like put my
mommy down, like I'll kill you. Like I was just
so angry. I remember the umbrella and everything. Certain images
just never leave your head. Then I remember one day
going into the kitchen, my mom had a knife to
my dad and he was like, IF's dad me, I'm
a knockout, And it was just like Jesus Christ. So
I've seen it firsthand from just being so young, you
know what I mean. And then I've had that. Yeah,

(35:33):
I've witnessed it, and I've had friends get abused. I've
had oh child, A lot of people that I know
get abused, and it's just unfortunate. But this is a
story that I would share with me, my cousin. This
is my older cousin. So she wrote, and she said,
imagine being seventeen, eighteen years old in a relationship with

(35:56):
a man ten years older and pregnant. Back then, read
flot weren't that common, at least not to me. I
met this man who looked nothing like his age and
lied saying he was nineteen. I was sixteen at the
time first red flag him praying on a kid. I
think back, like, was he really that dumb? Or was
I just that smart?

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Lol?

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Anyway, everything starts out good, long conversations, gifts outings. I
don't know. I think back. I remember little conversations where
I where I questioned his age. Damn, this man really
was a predator. Fast forward, I get pregnant by him.
He's all excited. I'd lieing if I said, I'd be
lying if I said I wasn't. But I wasn't supposed
to be. After all, I was sixteen and pregnant. But

(36:38):
by what I found out was a man to be
twenty six years old. This man is ten years older
than me. After announcing to him I was pregnant, he
was cool for about three to four months. Then the
ugly truth unfolded. The first incident, one of my close
friends stopped by my house and my baby daddy, who
was the predator. My baby daddy was there. Of course,

(37:00):
the close friend was a male. He didn't like that.
I remember seeing this look in his eyes as we argue.
Before I knew it, I was down a flight of
basement stairs and being shaken in chastised. The next day,
he showed up with brand new sneakers and a code
to match. I had no idea what I was in for.
He didn't put his hands on me again until after
my son was born. Imagine being seventeen, a new mom,

(37:23):
and being abused. I let this man talk me into
leaving home so that my son and I could be
with him. Him taking care of his family is what
he called it. He did that and made the outside
my family believe we was good because he took care
of me and his son, not knowing what I was
going through. Constant abuse, black eyes, busted lips. Final lap,
at least I thought it was when he accused me

(37:44):
of going to school only to meet a guy. I
packed and left, and the man played nice like he
was accepting it was over asking for our son for
the weekend, only to keep him for almost a month
as an attempt for me to come back. That's when
I learned if there's no documented custody papers, whoever as
the kid is with, who they can stay with as
long as they want. Because I called the cops to
escort me to his house to get my son. After

(38:07):
a month, I gave in and went back. It probably
wasn't even a full month before I was back to
looking like a box for a living. I box for
a living. I left again with my son, ignoring all
calls in contact. Fast forward about two months now, I'm
being stalked. I go out, come back. The family is
saying he's been calling whatever, nothing new. This man must

(38:29):
have stalked out near my house because he waited for
my stepdad and mom to leave for work. Rings the bell.
My little cousin answers, not knowing any better. All he
knows is that it's my son's father. He's not a stranger.
He's yelling back, saying he's at the door. He's going
to open it. Before my cousin and I could say no, don't,
he was in the door, pounding on me right there
at the door, the front door, blood everywhere. He flees.

(38:52):
I'm left laying there, blood everywhere, two black eyes, a
fractured bone in my nose, and stitches in the bottom
of my lip. When it was said and done, that
was still the worst day till today. I can still
see that scene in my head. It's funny people ask
me how I was ever able to speak or see
him again. I learned to forgive and understand. This man
witness domestic abuse himself, so what else will be expected.

(39:15):
It's funny whenever he and I speak, I have flashbacks
of all the times of abuse, but push it back
to be back to the back of my mind. I
really want to have that uncomfortable conversation with him, like
why and now that you have daughters of your own,
do you wonder will carm or hit you? And if
your daughters end up with a man who abuses her,
do you or have you ever abused your wife? Why

(39:36):
did you do it to me? I honestly was just
a kid. Do you think or believe that you were
a predator?

Speaker 3 (39:42):
He's a fucking predator? Who she could have been? Queens?

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Why like all the predators out there.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
In Queens shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Well if that's the second one aged seven, yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
He's definitely a predator. This is someone in my family
who share this. I was a kid when I've seen
her being like you know, when you're a kid, you
don't really understand it, but it just I remember him
looking like Kelly, like with the wife beaters, you know,
woke cut up with the braids and stuff, and it's
just she just looked asad. She always just looked this
so sad. And it was like, now that I'm older,

(40:17):
I realized he was breaking my cousin not physically, not
just physically, but mentality as well. And I'm glad she's
doing if they.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Break you mentally.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
That's the crazy thing about relationships. Like sometimes you see
a couple and you can tell they're not really doing
their best, they're not really vibrating that, they don't look
that good, you know, I mean they energy, and you
have no idea, like it'd be some shit behind them.
Then they don't understand that somebody not looking their best,
it'd be a lot behind that.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
Sometimes and then people will blame the victim a lot
of the times, like oh, why don't you leave? Why
don't you that?

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Because always blame.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Sometimes these men will kill you just for leaving. Not
only that, they'll it's Stockholm syndrome, where you relate to
your abuser because it feels safe, it feels like home,
that's what you're used to. What else will you do
if that's all you used to us? So you know,
then on top of that, you see how she said,
oh it would be gifts, it would be this they'll cry,
they'll beg, they'll change, they'll see the lady, they'll talk
to the lady. They won't ever do it again. They

(41:09):
blame you. They say they're going to kill themselves if
you know you leave them. All this type of stuff.
They're guilt tripping. So a lot of people aren't strong enough,
but there's always that lastra And like I said, for me,
mine was I literally broke my leg the week after
because it was like God was like girl, no, especially
being in my own apartment, just being scared, and I
remember being held there and I'm just like my son,

(41:31):
That's all I kept saying, Like I said my son's
names as he's choking me. I was literally like poopy,
That's the only thing I could think about, because I'm like,
if I die right now, my kid get what I'm saying,
what else do I have from this? And then my
kid'll just be so broken and he'll never trust anybody
just because you know what I mean. So it's just
like I was just like and then I just talked
to God, and God literally got me about that situation

(41:54):
that moment, And even if it's just once or twice,
cause like I said, it wasn't a constant thing. It
was once in the blue when he wore put it on.
Not too many, but once it's more than enough. You
don't have to stay. If you feel like there's something
you'll be missing with it, just realize you're not missing
your life. You still have your life. That's the only
thing that you need. You can make other memories with
somebody else that won't ever do that to you.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
And there's different ways of domestic.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Don't got to be physically putting your hands like he
could mentally be beating you.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
And then that made me want to put my hands
on people, just from being abused from young. It made
me start hitting men. And then I get with guys.
I remember my first time with my fiance now and
he's like, oh, that's how you like. I was like,
I'll slip shot out you and he was like, that's
how you get your It's like he just looked it
so disgusted. You know what I'm saying. And this is
a man that has nothing but respect for his mother.
And just so when men get loud, do you sometimes

(42:43):
I getah? Yeah, sometimes I mostly shut down, Like if
a man is yelling at me or talking down to me.
I shut down. And it's crazy because I have a father,
and if my father knew about any ship, I pray
don't watch this episode. But it's he wouldn't be happy
about it.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
They had that who got tied.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Dad, And like I said, my dad wasn't one of
those unprovoked people. He was a provoked person. So let
me be clear about that. I don't want to make
it seem like he was just outsideby and my mom,
my mom, my mom, crazy. Two capricorns one house going
at it. They didn't did some ship to each other,
two capricorns in the house. That ship was like diapolical.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
My god parents. I've seen them go head to head
like the Titans.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, fighting the night.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
They holding each.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Other like the old school back then, back in the days,
that's what was people was used to. It was like
to sit there and you beat the shit out of
each other, then go up. Used to go these days.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
But then as I seen, I said, damn, I want
that type of love, like minus to fight and all that.
But they really loved each other because like I didn't
seen my my my godfatherld like lose his legs and
lose toes and she cared like they was dead, they
was locked in.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
But that's also toxicity.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
It like, yeah, so we look past the fighting and
all you're like, damn, like, this is what it is.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
And then when he left, she went right behind the
move a broken heart.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Listen. So it's like, at the end of the day,
oh you can that old school love is different. But
that's also what they were conditioned to, you know what
I'm saying. They weren't too far from slavery. At the
end of the day. They people's getting asked if they're saying, mass,
I love you at the end of the day, that
shit ain't right. You can have a couple of you
can have a couple of arguments with your partner. You
could disagree with your partner. Y'all pop, y'all shit to
each other, as long as y'all not getting physical.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
You know what I'm saying, Man, you got to do
the work. You can't just take an argument then you
want to just put your hands on somebody.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
You gotta do the work.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
I had to do the work because me and my
big I couldn't argue with somebody without put my hands
on them.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
But people that people that are not trying to play
you or nothing like that, because you obviously were going
through a different type of trauma that nobody can understand different.
But a lot of people that do put their hands
on people in the argument is because they're not that intellectual,
so they have to get physical. Because I realized I
was smarter than the people that I was with that
was putting their hands on me. So my mouth is crazy.
I'm not gonna lie. I was saying my shit, but
that should never give you no reason to hit me

(44:58):
just because I'm smart and I know my rebuttals is crazy.
I'm coming at you quick like light man, like you're
gonna hear this ship. You know what I'm saying, Like
this is me.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
But we argue. Last time we argued, she put a
hand in my face.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Youres that, you pussy?

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I call a console you this, that, and the third
I said, give me a hug. You all right, You'll
be all right, and she crying, I'm hugging her. It's
all Saiding that, she started laughing. I'm like, yeah, right now,
I can't stand you. I'm all right, but I will
never put my hands on you again. I'm not scareding
no police, but I would never.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
Self down. I would not disappoint myself for my son.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
I will not disappoint myself that that I let you
take me to that point that I had to put
my hands.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
And that's why to get up the situation, because I
can't allow my son to think that that's okay to
see no woman getting beat on. He's seen it once
and that was enough for me. You're not about to
see this. You're not about to think that's okay. You're
not about to think you're gonna be doing that to
someone else, even if my son. Because I'm in a chair.
I tell my son all the time, I love Harper,
but I kill him dead for I let him beat me.
I kill him Dad. He'd be like what he he
even flinched. Jump, fuck nigga, what I brung you in here?

(46:00):
I know what parents say when they say I brung
you in here, And I'll take it out because you're
not about to everybody be like, oh, what you going
to do when you get bigger? He gonna respect me
same way he do now. I'm not about to play
with me. Belt to ask.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
When a woman raising man, that's a different type of
raise right there? Like me, Like if I got shot,
I could never put myself hands on a woman because
like me hearing you, I see my mother, I see
my sisters, got nieces that look up to.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Me, that don't see no harm in me.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Like I be a moss if I just go around
beating women up, knowing that like when I'm beating you up,
every time I hit you, I'm seeing one of my
loved ones. Oh yeah, So it's like men, you gotta
look at it like that. You can't sit and say
show to your queen and you beating down your queen.

Speaker 4 (46:40):
I think you should look at it like this. If
you're prepared to put your hands on a woman, just
be prepared to die right there, because not.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
Even talking lines, I'm killing you.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
Just literally genuinely be prepared to not live. Just be
prepared for that, you know, because women usually And then
another thing is like, as man, we really got to
give pay our respects to women because even in your scenario,
like you had people around you and you knew what
they was capable of, You knew what they would do
if you just flat out came and told them what

(47:11):
it was, but you still was protecting him in some
type of way, right because maybe you didn't want him
to suffer because you knew what they was gonna do.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
Yeah, I didn't want I didn't want him nothing to
happen to him. And I also didn't want nothing my people.

Speaker 4 (47:24):
You have to put them in a position too exactly
what they could. But that's you protected because women, women
start wars all the.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Time, all the time.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
I never I never even caught the police on anybody.
It's not even paperwork on me from when I got shot.
I'm a real, real thorough.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Bit no longer.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
But realistically, though, the only way to help yourself, to
treat someone like a queen or treat someone like a king,
is to see the queen in yourself and to see
the king in yourself. If you don't see that in yourself,
don't date nobody, don't deal with nobody, don't claim to
love nobody, because you don't love yourself. If you don't
look get yourself as if you're in a pedestal, then

(48:02):
how can you see someone else? How can you put
someone else on the pedestal? And that's what happens. People
tend to love people more than they love themselves. And
then this is when oldest jealousy comes in. This is
when oldest insecurity comes in because it's like, how how
can she say she loves me but she's out with
this person, she's with this, but she's sharing herself with
this baby. I'm a star. I gotta share myself with
the world God put God might have took away my

(48:23):
mobility from right now, but he's never took away my mind.
He's never took away my mouth. And this is what
I'm here for, a baby to put myself out in
the world, and a lot of people that I was
with trid to dim my light. But I'm still shying
and can't nothing stime. If a bullet didn't stop me
from shayning, it ain't no niggas gonna do that. And
I always told these niggas, I say, sure, And that's
what I told this nigga too. That's why he hated me.
I said, God already told me an idiot ain't gonna
kill me. I said, the idiot already tried. Idiot already tried,

(48:47):
It ain't gonna happen. So that's not what my story
is here for. If anything, we're gonna leave each other
the fuck alone. But that's not what it And I
still don't wish nothing bad on none of those people
that I went through this with, because I believe in growth,
and I believe in healing, and I believe in them
fighting their own demons. But you just can't fight me, baby.
I'm not your demon.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
And if you're a king, man, respect your queen. And
if you're a queen, have respect for your king man.
Everything don't got to lead into hands. Arguments sometimes go
in the next room, cool off.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
And they come back. Y'all.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
I didn't like when you said this like a female
moms could be real crazy, But.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
That's that's emotional intellect. If you if you are able
to sit there and say, like, you know what, this
is us right now, this is not gonna be us, but.

Speaker 3 (49:25):
Let me just go down.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
That's all just going to like, you know you strong,
Let's see how strong your mind is.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
And even as a man, even if you've never I've
never put my hands on a woman before, but I've
definitely lost my cool in a way where I knew
it wasn't cool. So even if you never put your
hands on a woman, as a man, you gotta.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Understand I took your dad, you a town, like.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
Yeah, as a man, you gotta understand, Like if you
get to the point where you enraged go outside. Rage
is something that will Rage is something that comes upon
him man like it like it's strike like lightning. And
then you're not in control. And there's so many things
that can go wrong. It's not just putting your hands
on a woman. So many things can go wrong. You're
damaging things, you can get end up in jail, you
know what I mean. You lose your integrity, you know.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
And when it's all set and done, you feel like
ship once you name like no lie. And to this day,
I feel like ship. Every time I talk to these women,
I feel like ship because it's.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Like you feel like you're just still owe them something.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
I say sorry every chance I get because that was
not me and I don't even to a point it
is like we couldn't play fight because it's like you
scared I'm gonna put my hands absolutely so it's like
it ain't even fun no more. It's like I changed,
but I don't know. You might snap out and it's
something different you feel me, So it's like you feel

(50:40):
like ship. Every time I talk to them, I'm like, damn,
I can't believe I really did this. Stuff like cheating
is one thing, but putting your hands on it, it's
a whole different boy game.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
You feel like ship to a point, like when you.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Said you like you niggas, like the cheating and beating
on me, It's like, so that's where a lot of
that come from. Because you got caught. Now you want
to beat on me.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Get the help, man, Go go get the help. Brother.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
It's like if you got to sit down in front
in front of a therapist to unpack why you're so
angry at women, do the work man.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
One. It's not worth being in jail because they gonna
whip your ass just from beating on women. Anyway, She's
just not worth it. Sometimes when she talked, let me
get my keys, let me walk out that door, let
me go, let me call somebody.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Yo, you home, let me sit with you for a minute.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
And then sometimes when you're out, you don't just text
her like YO, did you calm down?

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yo? Can we talk? Can we talk without screaming?

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Can we talk about auguin like be able to If
we love each other, we should be able to sit
down there and listen.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
We're not going scream. Let's handle this.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Problem and if it's an ongoing problem. It's okay to separate.
I love you, but this is not it. This is
weighing on my myself. This is weighing on my mental health.
Like this is tearing me down to a point it's
gonna tear you down.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
I'm not here to do it. Let's let's go.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
And is that your motivational Monday had a separate quote.

Speaker 3 (52:01):
I gotta set some separate ship. But what's the frenchifact?

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Okay, well the French efacts real quick because I feel
like I said some shit already.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
But you spoke now, you took the episode and she
started crying and all that shut up.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
Everything, Like damn.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
Can you not you my sister now? So it's like, no, no.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Even being disabled, I'm stead of protecting. At the end
of the day, you're you're not doing.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
But these are things that you know, you can heal
from things, but when you speak about them, they still
can like you know, you can stop an effect. And
it's crazy because these are things that affect me more
than even getting shot. Because the person that shot me
didn't know me, you know what I'm saying, So when
somebody hurts me that knew me or ever said that
they hurts you, that hurts even more. Like I could
have people strangers bring up the wheelchair, I could laugh.

(52:45):
But if it's somebody I love does it and tries
to play with it, then it's like, oh my god,
that should hurt my feeling, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
And before you'll get into the French effect too, Fathers
out there, uncles, brothers, you got little sisters, you got nieces,
you got daughters, like be there, put hands on them.
Don't let your daughter run feeling like she gotta find
love in another man because she's not getting in love
from you.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
But.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Because you could. But wait, that's the ship though, because
you can still get that up. Because I'm a daddy's girl.
I got my daddy. I could call him right now.
Well she is on this hand, I call him right now.
It's just sometimes you just do shit. I was just
doing anything and it's a little hot. And I think
it was more so. I think it was more so
because my dad always knew how to be a dad,
but he didn't always know how to be a husband.

(53:29):
So when you don't see the right type of dynamic
in the household with relationships, you know what I'm saying
sometimes that's the problem because, like I said, my dad
loves me very much, and he loved my mother very much,
but he did not.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
Plus they was young, they was figuring it was figuring
it out like me, I called my niece, I called
my daughter. I'm like, y'all, I love y'all just because
like birthdays and shit, I buy y'all. Just so y'all
don't feel like when.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
A man do it like he giving.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
You a reward, Like you're not gonna beat my niece
ass and give her no sneakers or no colt. Nah,
My my uncle did that, my grandfather did that, my
father did that. Like, so, nigga, what's coming better? And
then on top of that too, you put your hands
on one of them, I'm going to chad, I'm going
to jad. I will lose it off for them, for
those kids, I'm losing it all. And niggam looking at

(54:13):
judge like how do you plead guilty? Like and I'm
gonna take my time why because at end the day,
you're not going to just beat on my my love,
my heart that these are the people that keeping me running.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
You're not gonna do that thing. God like shout out
to my step pops.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
My mother is that my mother could be a handful,
but he never got out of the line. And I always
seen that man get up and just walk out the house.
And I sat there, I'm like, all right, cool. So
like I've never been in the environment to see like
the high style and none of that. So it's like,
all right, cool, this is what it is. So growing
up when girls, yo, you pussy this that. And the
third I woke away diet it phazed me. But the

(54:50):
day I could not walk away, it was like, nah,
I'm turning to something that I'm not. Last time I
did it, I called my cousin. I said, so most
of your say yeah, I said, I need help, So
what's wrong? I said, I need to go to therapists.
I need help. And she said, no proble because before
they're like, yo, you need a therapist. I'm not going
to no therps. I'm not going to a therapist. But

(55:11):
the last time I did it, and I just hear
my son's screaming and I couldn't control myself and I
lost it.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
I said, damn, I need help. So I need help.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
That's the big part recognizing when you need help, and
that's what we're going to lead into with the French facts.
Recognize when you need help, it's okay to ask for help,
whether you're a female or a male. Abuse is real.
Take it serious because one punch could be the last
one and that's all you need sometimes to take you
out this world, and nobody deserves that. Don't be scared

(55:42):
to leave, find outlets. I know the police. A lot
of people feel like the police aren't helpful. Maybe told
to someone that's been through it. Sometimes you have to
uproll and change your whole environment. Sometimes you have to
get a whole new identity. Unfortunately it's sad to say,
but there are people that are here just to try
to take you out your go and take you off
this world, and you don't deserve that. There's hotlines, there's helplines,

(56:04):
there's therapy. Do it secretively, don't ever tell everybody or
your moves. And sometimes you just have to protect your
family and situations like this, maybe even stay away from
them and don't let them know that you love your
family because a lot of people that our abusers will
go after the family if they can't get next to you.
Pay attention to the signs. One time it's too many

(56:24):
leave after the first time. Love yourself so that you
never feel like you have to settle for the bare
minimum from what somebody else is giving you. Abuse is
not love. Someone hitting you is not love. It doesn't
mean that they are passionate about you. It means that
they're angry with something within themselves. It means that they're
quite jealous of you, and they quite much hate themselves,
quite frankly, So take care of yourself. Domestic violence is

(56:45):
never okay. And this is different chiefects, different.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Chief facts, and I'm about to hit them with motivation
for they ass But before I do that, look up
the domestic violence. Even though we're gonna put it on
the screen at the end.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yes, the domestic violence, because that's blonde.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
You know, I'm getting beat up and ship.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Oh yeah, yeah, they can't.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
I mean they can't see it. So if you got
to put it out there, you know.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Okay, So the domestic violence, be guess I was just
prepared to put it in.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Your not just pull out. I'm going to my motive.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Motive.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
You just ask for this ship, you can do it.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
At the end of the episode.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
For domestic violence hotline is eight zero zero seven. Nine
nine seven two three three and sometimes eight zero zero
seven ninety nine seven two three three and sometimes if
you can't talk, you can text text eight eight seven
eight eight thank you.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
Use it.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
But motivation for your ass. But this is see no motivation.
You know I'm dropping motivation for your ass.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
Men, we gotta do it better.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Be really putting our hands on these women for no
parent reason, to make our to make it feel like
our nuts getting bigger. It's really not. When you put
your hand on the I think about it. That could
be your mother that you put your hands in on.
That could be your daughter. You put your hands on
your grandmother. You don't like it, so don't do it.
Don't call that woman your queen. If you're not putting

(58:10):
her at the top of the mountain, if if she
steady under the bottom of your sneakers. Real men, if
you see something, don't just ignore it and walk past it.
That you can really save that woman life. You can
like real shit. It's times that women ran to us
and told us that she was getting abused by the man,

(58:33):
and you just looked down the block and you see
him on the corner, a real man. If he was
really that tough in that gangst the he or that
came down there with us and grabbed her. I stayed
on the corner because you know, what he was doing
was wrong, and I'm like call the cops, you know,
like get the proper help you need, because us going
down there and beating his ass is not really doing
nothing for us. It's like you could put us all
in trouble. So if you see sign, just don't say nothing.

(58:55):
Do sign save her life. And the best of violence
is just as bad as fucked up.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
I'm not proud of it. I'm a big fan on it.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
If it's a walk stand, I'm willing to go out
there and stand by the women. Like that's what a
lot of men need to start doing, standing by women.
I feel like we're not doing enough of that.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
And the front. I'm here for you.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
You're annoying now, you know, here for you. I get
a viewers that our text girl and our text messages here.
That's to say, but it's all love, and I mean,
just get the help. She gave you out a hotline number,
the text man, text.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Text call and if you ever need just advice from
another woman and you just want to talk about it.
My dms are always open at for real so.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
You know official blind with a Blind and Sea podcast.
You can also you know you got a story, send
your story into the DM.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
It doesn't just have to be domesticance. We talked about everything,
so if you want us to share something, d m
us you could d m us at the Blind but
now I see page. You could d m us at
our personal pages, Facebook, Instagram, tiktoks, whatever, dm us and
let us know so we can talk about it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Stop punching our queens and punch that punching.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
And ladies, don't hit these brothers neither.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Keep your hands off everybody, keep their hands off each
other man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Keep your hands to yourself unless it's been list.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Unless a little bit tat that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Yeah, and that's it for this episode.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
That's out. We out easy