Its Important To Ask For Help

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Back at it for another episode of the Blonde. But
I see show. I A'm your host. FOBC. No oh
no no no, no, no no, no, no more f OBC. No,
it is over for that. I am Chris, I am Cino.
I am the official Blonde Stuffer. I am the voice
of the Disables. I'm blind lighting, and no more fob
The fob is out. It's gone.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Got caught up in the old. You got caught up
in the old, man, I mean, gotta gotta practice new
habits that's.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Out of here here or there. And you know where.
We're at two sixty five Canal Street, where dreams happened,
where magic's happened, with contracts being signed. It's ce Lovely
sitting on his couch and I'm one of them. And
you know who.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
I'm here with the one and only my dog Wolf
wolfo man yo.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Whoa whoa Wolf is up there now? You feel me
expiring me speaking to like fifty people last week. So ship,
I'm in there. We'll talking that talk about content, I said, okay,
talk that ship woof And then like everybody running down
on world for everybody want to know about content. Me.
I feel like he was the best speaker and I
ain't even try to be biased, but he he can't

(01:08):
prepare outline. So playing, Yeah, yeah, I was tired.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
But I made it.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
I had to go support my boy man sliding to man,
that was one of the best things.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I'm like, Damn, I ain't like talking some ship like
and that's when I realized I got the best producer
in the game. You feel me me making more magic Now.
I really appreciate you, sliding, bro, because you was the
and this is no disrespect to nobody, but he was
the only familiar face there, you know what I mean.
So it was just nice having that support, you know
what I mean, knowing that it's like and it could
be motivating too. It's like my man's here now God that.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Through Yeah yeah, but you gotta think about it. Like
we always say, family is is like I chosen friends
and this point chose the family. At this point we family.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
We locked in. It's been up a little over year,
it's over year. Now we locked in. We straight moving.
I was going through my phone yesterday. I was trying
to delete because I ain't got no space in my.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Phone, and I got I'm all through your ship, bro.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I was like a year ago, Bro, a year ago,
it was me and you and Inza. We was in
here doing whatever the was doing.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, I was remember that, bro, like when he was
talking that was that was Father's day. Nut geez were working,
were working, and this podcast responsible the Master Connected Agency.
Shout out to you and Nicole. That book is on shelves.
Hit Amazon up, run down, go cop that book. I'm

(02:29):
telling you she's dropping juice, she dropping game. She the
Master Connected for a reason. I feel you know, you
need some knowledge. Go to www dot the Master Connected
Agency dot com. She got it all up there. Man.
She connected people for small fees and everything. Never know
who I might head up and they might come and
bless this couch thing the cold. So shout out to

(02:51):
you and Nicole. But we're gonna get into this episode.
Before we even get into that, I was thinking, how
I'm instarted this. You know, we need a private investigation.
We need a private and even investigatory to find a
nigga that shot me and tell him that he I stumbled,
but he ain't knocked me down. Nigga. I said, that's
how he's starting that bit. Joe, I'm talking cocky now.

(03:12):
Thirteen years in and looking look at me. Now you
feel I'm feeling good?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Wait a minute, you need you need a private investigator
to find a nigga who showed you find a.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Nigga that shot me, Just to tell a nigga that nigga,
that nigga blind Poppy is doing good.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
What would you legit like if that nigga was if you,
let's say, like on some real ship, the nigga was
right in front of you, what.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Would I say that? Yeah, thank you, thank you because
why you helped me find myself? Oh yeah, it's so
emotions is like thistu. At the end of the day,
my life is good and like what about yours?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
It's probably not as good as yours. I can all.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, he sho. He probably out there looking at my
clips in my pocket like.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
God, damn b no imagine this. Imagine bro, no funny ship.
Imagine the nigga has seen your clip. Probably his heart
probably dropped to the bottom of his feet, flipping falling
because he's like, Bro, this nigga not only is he
he loo, he going forward. You going for it to
the head and I'm still here on me because you

(04:16):
dead ass going for it like you do everything. Bro,
like you got the fucking clubs. You're popping out, like Bro,
let me let me tell you something. This is like
the third time he done pulled up dolo. He usually
got somebody to assist him, obviously. You know what I'm
saying this, Bro text me today. I was in the
other room doing the session. He was like, I'm downstairs
the door lock. I go downstairs, Bro already, I'm thinking

(04:37):
I'm about to help Bro get out the car. He's
gonna be sitting in the car. He's gonna be waiting.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I pulled up to your ship even for my speech.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, you Bro sitting right there. So it's like you
gotta imagine Bro get out the car. I know not
this to you, this is like how else I'm gonna
do it right? But to me, I'm like, Bro, this
ship is crazy, Like Bro hop out the v He
was the stick, you know what I'm saying, moving that
bitch around, so you hitting shit, making sure and then
the nigga. He's like, Okay, I'm against the building. Cool,
I'm a wait until my person come through. It's like, damn, Bro,

(05:06):
I new best friend.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Man's is efficient.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Like I said, I ran from this shiit thirteen years.
I was scared of this stick for thirteen years. Now
this is my sight, This is my best friend, this
is my money maker.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
You know you you're doing what a man it's supposed
to do, which is that it's not men. Men need help, right,
we're not robots. But it's like sometimes you get to
these moments in your life as a man where it's like,
you know what, if I don't do this, it is
not gonna get there.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
And I got tired of depending on people.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
You get know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Got tired people telling me, oh they can't I shut down.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
How long was you depending on people before you? Before
it click to you? You know what, I'm gonna start
making my own moves blind not blind, It don't matter.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Shit. The whole thirteen years, the whole thirteen years. Just
started using this shit.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Oh that's what you mean?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, you know, I mean time just started.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
This is your first time like going places by yourself?

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Hell yeah, bro in thirteen years, thirteen years, like I
went to places like by myself, like jumping into cats.
But I never used the stick though. Yeah, it was
all some shit. I'm listening to the engine and I
started walking and I walk into the car, I walk
around the car, I'm listen to the engine, and then
once I hit the engine, I'm like, I had a
car right head get in. I was living dangerous because
like I could have got any call, even though I

(06:17):
wasn't worried about that. But it's the first time I'm
actually going walking with the stick. I'm moving with the stick.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Before when I used to use the stick or whatever,
or like, when I try to do a little content
with the stick, I used to wait until people.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Walk past to do it.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
That makes sense. I never want to listen to the
footsteps here to chatter.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Nah, I just walked in, let them walk past, and
I never want them to see me with it.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Mhm.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I was. I was kind of ashamed of this shit
that thirteen years, look at me now. And then besides,
I put up a little video on Facebook and that
shit went by. I'm like, damn, they love me. This
is what they like people want to see. And then
it's like I called myself the voice of the disablers
and official blonde stuff, but how I'm not representing I entity?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Also bro like no funny shit, But when you appear
like a regular guy, then you gotta play by regular
guy rules, and you shouldn't have to if you don't
want to. Like, so if you want to, then it's
like within ball means. But like understand regular guy rules.
We gotta do way more to prove why we're worthy

(07:21):
to be listened to versus you haven't. Because clearly the
sweater is not enough. People don't think that you're blind,
you know what I'm saying. So when you have the
walking stick, is that the right way to say it? First?
Walking Kane walking stick. So when you got the walking stick,
visually people can associate like, oh okay, because like if
people track your eyes, it doesn't look like you're blind,
but if you look hard enough, you could be like, okay,

(07:43):
well maybe I could see right. So once the stick
get there, then they bring a three point context like oh,
the eyes, the sweater, the stick, he's blind. And so
now when people look now that it's a different type
of response you might get as far as support, you get.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
What I'm saying, you need help. Oh, you can say
right here.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
You don't get the regular third, I'm like, I love
this ship. You ain't get shot. You ain't been in
the dark for thirteen years to not get to get
regular nigga support.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Bro. I started taking as using my assessor right now,
Fuck that shit. Too much money to ninety that's all
of me right there. And it's just like two dollars
ninety cent nigga.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
That's Metro, that's NTA.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
And you go anywhere in the Five Boroughs comfortable. You see.
I be pulling up in Tesselas and all that. You know,
I ride clean. I tell you y'all sitting that big
white ship, I ain't getting on it now. My brand
gotta be my brand. I sit clean like nah, when
doing that big ass bus day, you can hit an
engine from two blocks. Now, I'm too clean for that.

(08:44):
Too clean for that. I respect Before I used to
like the stick don't match my clothes, but nah to
stick my best friend. I'm too clean for the other ship. Yeah, yeah,
I ain't doing that.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
It's cool to yeah, be too clean.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
You got to ride and stop stylars die too. I mean,
I just I just be feeling good of the work
I've been putting then in the work that I accomplished
over these years, like these last couple of months, and
it's like walking into the club this Saturday, and I'm
just going to show love to somebody that on a
party and DJ like the Stevie Wonder the party he

(09:15):
called me, the Stevie Wonder of party promotions is here,
the party promoter is here.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Somebody got to do it. Somebody got to be Steve
Wonder party promotion.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
I said, it's another blind nigga.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
I know.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
I'm the hood Ray Charles. They said, now they talk
about you. I'm like what, I'm just in the vibing
and I'm dancing. I'm feeling good. Yo, I was tripping
out and everything. I'm feeling.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
It's good.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
You feel me. I'm walking around people like yo, bro, yo,
we need to do a party together. Bro oh yo
bro we needed we need I'm like yeah, I'm like, damn,
I'm really important to the into this world, really important
to the disabled world. Like I want more disabled people
to come from like I want more disabled people to
come after me and following my first up to do

(10:00):
something different add on to it, like it's Stevie won
though it's Ray Charles. Ce no and who next after?
See no next after that person?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
You know we need to do. We need to funk
around making mount rushmore of blond.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
They gotta put me up there. What they got crazy
Ray Stevie is Ray Stevie me and who that person
would because then the game is because I really don't
know what too many blonde, but blonde Fury got blonde.
Then you got the but you got the Jamaican blonde niggas.

(10:34):
I forgot the nigga name. I forgot his name, but
you got big songs. He was more than he's bigger
I say bigger than blonde Fory because he went on
a tall running everything.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
His name it Naji boy. Okay, he's blond, okay, so
he's big. So it's like I would have to put yo,
no funny ship bro, like Mount Rushmore of blind people
because a lot of people put in pain on on
this earth, bro niggas. It's some worker around here. Yeah, Stevie,
wonder bro Stevie Ray Right, what were we talking about? These

(11:07):
niggas put in pain?

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Stevie Ray c note check that out there.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Like that's actually fire as life goal to us to
go for.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
That's like a good backdrop, good set. Let's build that set.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
I got I got the guy to do it, to
paint it for you. I got the guy. Let me know,
I got the guy you know what the money is,
we can lock it in.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
No no, no, no, no, no, no no, let me
know what it's hitting for.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
No, no, no, I got the guy.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
You feel me. Shopify store is up, but I ain't.
I ain't released to the public. I'm just doing a
little tweaks and wait for my scale to come in.
It's gonna be w w W dot blinde stuffer dot com.
That's my shop off. I store be locked in with
that like everything is branded. And then when you get
your I want you to hashtag it. We're going up
right now. And then when you it ain't no more

(11:54):
f obc do dot com. It's w w W dot
c Christopher feld speaks dot com.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Hold on, bro, can I send this nigga voice voice
memo right now?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Send a voice hold on?

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Hold on, Yo. So I produce a podcast right called Blind.
But now I see as my man he been blind
for thirteen you want to take that's right here? Okay,
my man been blind for thirteen years, right, and we're
doing the podcast, and I just thought to myself, like, bro,
you know what, it'd be great if we fucking had
a painting of a mount rushmore of Blind niggas say,

(12:27):
it'll be Stevie, it'll be Ray, it'll be my man
Ce No, and then it'll be maybe somebody else. But yo,
can we hire you to paint that for us? And
it's something we gonna have on set. It'll be oh,
this is so far, we'll have it on set and
it'll always be showing. So we could always give you
credit to but let me definitely, yeah, let me know
what the ticket is on that, bro, Thank you, bro, and.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
We can lock it in. Blind Poppy is here.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Nah, this nigga too. I know him. I know him good.
He like best friends with my cousin. Anyway. Fuck speaking
the style, I see you got the new sweater on balls,
that special you know, bro, got the fucking stars in
the hoodie. What are you talking about? Got the Roys Royce.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Hood you know, just that special limited. This that thirteen
year anniversary. This is I look at it like this
my thirteenth birthday.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Hold on, I gotta put this on my gram This this.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Is my thirteenth birthday. This is that special limited. You've
seen the white one, plain one. I had to come
with the black one with the logo with the stars
on it, matching the Flu games, Chicago Bulls had You
know if I'm a step I'm a step big you
feel me about the Flu games on and all like
Black and Red. Let people know. Man, all right, come on, man,

(13:37):
I doese this. I feel good. Private Investigator, get that man.
Find that man.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
You serious?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'm serious?

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Tell a man, man, how serious are you?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Hundred serious? Wow?

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Hold on?

Speaker 1 (13:51):
He created a monster?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
What if we we can't do that?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
He created a monster.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
He created that because he never got caught for doing that. Right, No,
he created a monster though he couldn't even go to
jail for that. Now at this point, no, don't know
what the great thing about it.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
I don't want him to go to jail. I want
him to see my success. I want him to eat
that ship up. Why because every time you go on Instagram,
you're on Facebook, You're going anywhere on the web, You're
gonna see me, and it's like, I'm the nigga that
you tried to kill.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Let me ask you some wild ship, bro, what if
he wanted to be on your show.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
And me and add to that level. Yet I'm still
a hood nigga. We ain't at that level. He nah,
I popped my ship and talk about ship. Well, we
ain't on that level yet. I don't know, but I
want to let you know, like I'm doing good for
myself after you did you feel me? And I was
like I was mad for so long. I let him

(14:57):
control the narrative of my life and now it's like
it's hard not being mad. Man. I ain't mad no more, Bro, Yeah,
I ain't mad. It was beautiful yesterday. Normally on the
twenty first, I'd be pissed off, I be teed up,
I'd be mad at the word because it's like what
could I did different? But yesterday I woke up like
you think this every time, the anniversary, every time, every time. First,

(15:19):
I'm laying on the couch and my right hand man,
my best friend, my brother Larry sent me that first message.
He was with me when I got shot. He the
one that went through the whole thing, holding my hand.
When I'm in there getting worked on everything and surgery
and everything, he texts me a heart emoji, a fingers
cross emoji. He like, I'm just doing a boss check.

(15:40):
Is you here? Are you good? I'm like, I'm great, Bro.
He said, you got a different level of strength, Bro,
I said, when I got good when I got good
niggas around me. Mane can't stop me, he said, I
just wanted to make sure you was good today, boss.
I enjoy your day. Good. I woke up in the morning.

(16:01):
The dollar is trying to get up. The beauty of
wakened my son up. Yeah, get up? He turned over.
You good.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
I'm great.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
God was in the room. I'm not down now. Normally
I be dragging this day. Boom, I'm good. Talk to
my daughter. How your mental health is? Mental health check?
I'm great.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
We good.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Be locked in people tagging me thirteen years this time
and third years. This is my birthday. I ain't tripping
over this shit no more.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Now.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yesterday was yesterday, twenty first, It's my birthday. I'm good.
It is it like?

Speaker 2 (16:35):
What do is there something that people that love you
should do that day? Like they like? Is that is
that weird that people hit you on that day? Or
do you do you welcome that?

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Nah? It's like it ain't wet because like they know
do the previous year is how it was for me.
It was hard for me when the twenty one, when
the twenty first came, I always try to relive the moment.
What could I did different. When the twenty first came,
I was moody. I was mad that shit took me
out at my element because it's like, damn, what did
I do to deserve this? Why? Like damn thirteen years?

(17:07):
The doctors told me, give ten years. I'm gonna sit
again in ten years. Let my eyes healing. All we
had thirteen so, like they know the effect of it.
That shit. Don't bother me, don't more, bro, I honestly said,
I woke up yesterday feel good.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
This sounds crazy. I think you're gonna see it again, though.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Bro, think so I do.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
I actually do. That'll be cool, but I ain't not
for sure for sure, no stress, you know, because you,
like you literally have created such a beautiful life for yourself. Bro,
Like you you so fucking motivation.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
This podcast saved my life. Bro. Yeah, people don't understand.
This podcast saved my life because it was up into
this podcast where I could talk about it and not
cry about it when I leave. Before I used to
talk about it and go home, and.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Then sometimes I cried about it because how the fuck
was you really talking about it before you had a podcast? Like,
like honestly, like, how was you really talking about it?

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Like standing outside, you know, people talking and people just
looking at you and they just want to say something.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah. But see that's even that is kind of weird
because it's like, oh, like you talking to the niggas
you outside, but that's not necessarily the format to like
like when you when you politics, you know, black people,
we go deep, right, So it's like, yeah, you talking,
but it's like, but you ain't really really like maybe
the closest thing you're gonna get is maybe to your shorty,
to your mother if you're in your house, or a therapist.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah no, that's a fact. So it's like, when do
you really get to like really dig into it, like
the real human being saying on the podcast. So if
you're gonna do something, come sit on the podcast, Come
sit on the jail, express your feelings. It's just you
the engineer in the room and cameras and microphones and
you can get it all out, no judgment, no nothing.
What really stuck to me one of the I mean,
and you gonna lock in what they guess a future

(18:44):
guests that's coming on. She didn't want to tell her
story because she was scared people gonna judge her, And
I told her fuck what people say. Be not worrying
about the two, three, four or five people that might
have something negative to say. We think about the people
that you changing their lives, people that you're saving, that
you're saving their lives, people that you're giving a voice too,

(19:06):
that went through the same situation as you. So who
gives a fuck about with the people that's saying that
going through what they're going through. Now we lifting, We
lift for moments like this right doing my best work
right now. Some people say negative stuff on there, I'll
skip back it sometimes I entertain it. Entertain it sometimes
cause it's like, yeah, I can go petty Blond Poppy sometimes,

(19:27):
you know, just to get the people. Man, I'm laughing
on the other end of the phone and the other
ending cause it's like I'm living my life. I'm living
my truth. Honds, I'm bothering you and we go from there.
But now I'm just living life, man, feeling good. My
thirteenth birthday. Blonde Poppy is out here. Special limit ted
shirts coming soon. Shopify about the drop. Just working man,
book me for your schools. Man, let me talk to

(19:48):
these kids. Man, I'm just saying, but I ain't allot
the value be going The value gonna be going up soon,
So y'all a better catch me while I'm at the
price I am now.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
Oh, Bro, listen. If people don't listen, let me tell
y'all something before we drop into the outline. Let me
tell you something. Man, I've been telling people. I've been
telling y'all this guy. He thinks, he thinks, and he
thinks in multi he has multimillionaire, multimillion dollar thoughts. I'm

(20:16):
not bigging him up. That's not that's I'm not gassing it.
It's none of that. But like this, this is how
he was when I met him. He was already like this.
We didn't develop this together. He had this already, you understand.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
So it's like just when we locked in, it just
got even serious.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
So the thing is, it is like, if you want
to lock in with Bro and you want to collaborate
with him in some type of way, it gotta make sense, though,
Gotta make gotta make sense. You know what I'm saying.
We're not we're not just doing anything. But if you
want to collaborate with Bro in some kind of way,
I'm telling you everything gotta start right before Apple became Apple,
it was it was something small, but it.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Was on his way before Joey had the rings, but.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
It was on his way, jay Z.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
It was on his way, not every So what I'm
saying is like said had that big hit, it was
on his way. And the thing is, it's like, so
y'all better catching while ya can.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
And you got to understand the difference though, is because
his situation, your situation is so unique. There is nobody
ain't gonna find too many like me that's in your lane.
They can't be because, first of all, even if somebody,
even if we want to U like entertain the idea
of like, oh, somebody got shot, and then it's like, well,
first of all, the fact that you're even alive, so

(21:25):
somebody else it's like, yeah, you might, let's say you
get shot or something, but then it's like, who's to say, like, nigga,
you might, you might have to bounce back from your injury,
might take you another five years, but you already thirteen
into yours on the.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
On the upside, thirteen gays into this ship on the upside.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
So it's like, so my point being, it's like his lane.
The only thing that could stop him from finding everything
he looking for in this is him. Nothing else will
stop him because there's nobody else all these other lanes
that we in, even me as a podcast, so like
I'm trying to have a self development podcast. You know
how many niggas in that lane? So many many niggas
is in that lane? You get what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
So many niggas in the lane, but it's only one
Wolf Teler.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah true, But but in his lane, there's nobody there.
Oh and definitely Now I can't tell you too me.
I've never seen a blind podcaster, to be honest, that's smooth,
too cool with it. You see the merch got the
good brand, good good brand.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Photo shoot?

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Ready bro, when we get that fucking painting. I'm telling you, Bro,
that's such a genius idea.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
You're going crazy.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Remember when we was having a conversation, I was like,
you know, podcasters that build a world around them on
the set, that's what we have to do.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
No, And honestly, I've been meaning to hit Bro for
a minute for my ship, but you don't how money go.
It's like my money getting allocated other places. But it's like, yes,
that ship right behind us.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, we're gon, we're gonna get you an LC and
all that shit be moving for the twenty twenty five year.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Listen, let's get into moving.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Let's get it definitely get into this outline what we
talk about today. All right.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
So I feel like it's never a bad time to
talk about mental health when it comes.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
To man, there's definitely like a lot of people running ducket.
I was one of them.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah, never never a bad idea to do that. So
I got a couple questions that I wanted to ask you,
let's talk really get your opinion on this. Do you
think a man's worth is based on how much he's needed?

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Uh? One, I ain't gonna lie. I thought it was,
but it's not.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
It's definitely not. I was one of those like, all right,
I lost my vision. I was no I was with
my ex. I felt I was not a man because
I can't do the things that I once did for
her before. It was tripping me up to a point.
It's like I felt lifeless and hopeless, when really that

(23:44):
was just in my mind in my head, because it
was like, all right, you get out the call, excuse me,
get these bags. But I'm like, damn, I gotta hold
onto your shoulder, like you can still carry these bags,
right cool, I'm walking in there with the bags. That
made me feel like, oh damn, I'm still a man.

(24:04):
You go to the laundry carry these bags, carried his bag,
so it's like I'm picking the bag up because it's heavy,
and she's behind me guiding me to the building. Made
me feel like a man, Christopher, I need you to
put this up, and I'm saying there and saying, how
the hell I'm putting a hole in the wall with

(24:24):
her now and this and a third, But she she
never like discourage to me that I couldn't do it. Nah,
go ahead, like hit right there this or no, I
got it up, and I got it up and moving.
So I looked at it like it was more of
a pride thing that damn, I'm a man, I can't

(24:46):
do certain things when really it's other ways around it.
And she really showed that, like she really showed me
that it don't matter if I need somebody to help
me do it. I'm still a man. And I was
cool with that.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
I'm sure you appreciate that, like she like she's not
treating you like.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
She never stripped me from being a man. She showed
me that I'm still a man even in the even
and if I'm an adult. And I loved it, like, yo,
you got two hands, like you don't have to see
to do this. Let's get it going. I'm like, and
I love it.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You still got a responsibility. I love it. That makes
you feel good because you feel like you.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
I never lost who I am. I never lost it
being a man. No, I can't do this. Nah. It
put me in a depression. Nah, I don't know you.
You don't excuse me. You don't got to see to
do this. Make you feel like you got some of
your purpose? Yeah, Like I'm still at she still even
though she's helping me doing it, she still valued me

(25:42):
as a man, nothing less than that. And I love that.
And that's why And to this day I give it
nothing but respect. That's beautiful, like I give another recept.
She never made me feel low like how some people
definitely try to. It's like a nigga, you can't do this, this, that,
and the third it was like, oh damn that she
made me second against myself. But then you got somebody
that's right here, like, oh, now can you put this

(26:05):
on the top show for me? Like she could easily
stand in the chair and put it up there, but nah,
I want you to do it. Like that's like I'm
doing a man's job. I ain't cooled, no problem, I
could do that, And I'm like, damn, I'm still a man.
Like she's not stripping that away from me. I'm still
a man. When she cooked, she's bringing it like like

(26:26):
little ship, like you can wash it this ship evencause
you're blind, you can't do this. And now hell yeah,
I wash thishes. I cook everything like and I feel
like shout outs to her. She gave me my She
showed me that I'm still independent.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
You know. I don't be cooking though, Like how the
fuck a.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Man cooking with blind Poppy coming song? Like cooking with season,
my my season, my food and everything myself season it
cook You.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Have somebody put the seasons out for you.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
No, I do everything in myself.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
You grabbed the season.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yes, I promise you know what's what because I keep
it on top of the f R. I know, alright,
this complete season, this lorries, this iron powder, this garlic powder.
I know the different seasons. How do you know? Just
like the texture sometimes just like the shape of the bottle.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
The shape, what about the weight, Like not so much.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
The weight, but just the shape of the bottle, because
sometimes like it would be different sizes, like the complete
season is bigger than them. I know the lorries is
round like a round dick tool.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
You can smell it too, Oh, you could definitely smell it.
I definitely smell like, all right, this is what is what?
Especially iron and gallic.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
You can tell the difference. Go from there, says, throw
it on there, mix it up, you know what I mean,
Put the grease on. I might know what like take
the flowers, sprinkling it when it starts, says, and I'm like,
that ship is hot. Let's cook should be all right,
I should be fire fire. I can call it like

(28:00):
about ten people right now, and they're right.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Nah.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
That nigga banadas is crazy, ZD crazy, my steak rice
and corn crazy. I gets busy in the kitchen. I
love to cook burgers, fries, pull chops, chicken, barbecue, bake fry.
I gets busy in it. I love it. I get
I gets busy in the kitchen. I mean cook it

(28:24):
with block poppy coming soon. I gonna see me do
it all. I ain't even hold you.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
I got it.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
I got a couple of adventures coming up. But men
don't feel like if you lose ability of something, mobility
of something, like, you're still a man. Don't let nobody
take that away from you. Don't If a woman beating
you down, telling you that you're not a man, then
that's not the woman for you. She's supposed to say, baby,
it's okay, we could do this, we could do that,

(28:48):
Like it's cool. I'm the type like say, if I
wasn't blunting, I was in a wheelchair and I need
help to get to a like the top of the figerator. Shit,
my baby going to hold me from the back, like
MYNLD lift me up. Shit, we did it together. I'm
feeling I'm feeling good. I appreciate you, Like, yeah, of
course I need your help. At the end of the day,

(29:08):
I still feel like a man by doing this carrying bags.
Some people like no, because I'm disabled. No, I got it.
I got it. No, don't worry about don't. No, I'm
still a man. I could do it. I learned climb
ladders to change the light bulbs. I feel like a man.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Let me ask you this, have you ever hid your
emotions behind your work ethics. Like sometimes guys like maybe
you could like because you obviously you work really hard,
you know what I mean. But do you ever find
feel like you're working so hard as a way to
distract yourself from dealing with the emotions that would be there.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Absolutely. I feel like when I had too much time
to day, I go back into the being depressed. So, nah,
I get up, what I'm going to do today, what
I'm going to talk about today, what videos I'm creating today.
Let me go check BGBT or give me give me
ten quotes. I can turn these. It's a videos. I
can't leave my I can't leave no time for me

(30:04):
just to sit around there and mope about something I
can't change. And a lot of people sitting they sorrow.
I can't be one of them. I did it for
the first eight years of me going blind. I can't
do it no more. So now when I get up,
I know I wake up every day like four or
five in the morning. Every day. I get up, all right,
let me get let me give you some push ups. Now,

(30:24):
I'm back doing push ups. Now. Now, let me get
push ups now. I do like clips of ten So
it's like a good song. I do ten. I let
a song play, I rest another song, I go down,
do ten. I try like I'm at fifty right now,
because I'm back in motion right now. I ain't gonna
stop till I get a hundred in a day, you
feel me. Then I sit before I even do that.

(30:46):
Sometime I wake up before I even pick up the
phone or anything I saidn't say it. Thank God for
another day, and manin' God, thank you for another day.
Thank you for the kids, my kids around me, my
niece is my nephew. Thanks for just blessing me to
motivate the world again. And after that, I get on
the floor, I do my pushups, go in the bathroom
and watch my phase, brush my teeth, and I sit there,

(31:07):
go on TikTok. Scroll. I got two different phones, so
I got one phone with ratchet content, and then I
got another phone that got the motivation, the business and
all that. And I get on the business one. I scroll.
I scroll. Then when I get tired of that, scroll,
look at my thumbs are like, all right, it's enough boom.
Let me listen to some podcasts today. I might put
on halfway up, might put on decisions decisions might put

(31:30):
on million dollars worth of game Melani Money Show like
melan In Money Show, earn Your at Leasia, Social Proof,
that's stay in rotations because it's business content. I don't
want to be here. I don't want to be in
the predictam man. Yet I'm at every day, while I'm
at today, I want more. I deserve more. It's stuff
out there that I got my name on it. I

(31:51):
just gotta find ways to get to it. Like one
business could come one business can create seven incomes. So
how I'm in make myself income to get this ship up.
That's the way I think now. But if I didn't
think like that, I wouldn't be coming to the podcast.
I wouldn't be consistent. I be moping about why me
wom blonde?

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Not?

Speaker 1 (32:12):
It don't work like that? Yeah, it don't work like that.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
And the speech that I had, you know, one of
the second one of the points that I made is like,
you got to make the most of what you have.
You have to And I was saying that, like, you know,
if you continue to look at life like, oh, I
can't do this because of what I don't have, then
you'll never have. You'll never have.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Turn your trauma into a success story.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
You know, like at the end of the day, like
no matter who you are, no matter what you're dealing with,
right like they're what they're challenge with doesn't even have
to be similar to yours. But it's like at the
end of the day, all you have is literally all
you have, no matter what it is, bro, all you
got is what you got. And I promise you the
deck of cards that you got currently you got one

(32:52):
job on this planet to work that decer cards. That's
best of your ability. And if you don't, you got
nobody to blame but yourself.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
And then you said you mope, you sit in sorrow
when it's other people and it's where are going today?
That's that's that's battling with other ship too, and they're
making the best out of it. Like we were just
in the room and you were speaking and a god
like yo, you know, he lived in a funeral home.
Then somebody like they got molested by they stuff like damn,

(33:21):
and you like you think your story is bad till
you listen to somebody else ship. So it's like you
sitting sorrow, you just setting yourself back because now you
got you gotta spend day after day to try to
get yourself from the past, to bring yourself to present
to the future, coming from somebody that that been there
the first eight years. If I was the person I

(33:44):
am now, back then, I would have been out there.
I would have been going already. I would have been gone.
But things happened and Tom and toman Is. I feel
like tom Is is perfect because I rented to I
rent it to you. We locked in. Like I said
said before, I work with a lot of producers, but
I never produced it great content until I linked up

(34:05):
with you. I mean, content was great and all that shit.
But I look at from when I first started to now,
it's like you can see that. You can see the growth,
you can see the change. You can see I involved,
I revolved, So it's like, I mean, it was the
best time that for it to happen. Yeah, And we
moving and were going from there. We're shaking. Yeah, No,

(34:26):
that's real, bro, we shaking.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
What about you? How you feel about it? Hiding my
emotions behind how I feel. I do it all the time.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
It's not good, though, do it all the time. It's
not good. I feel like all that should bottle up.
You like a walking tombone the littlest things could act.
I was like that, I'm People came around and it's
like I was like regular, it was like nothing. I
was happy, I was jolly, I was smiling. But when
I went in there a room, It's like I'm breaking down.

(34:57):
I'm crying. I'm like why I keep it? And then
like I'm not in pain? Why I act like nothing
is wrong? People like, oh, nah, he's good, he's a right.
How's Christy? He's good, he's a right? They see me?
Or damn, bro, you got yo? You strong? You smelling this?
That and the third. But in my mind is like,
y'all I'm in pain right now? Do y'all know I'm
in pain? Oh you want to drink? Yeah, hell let

(35:19):
me drink. Why I'm gonna try to drink my pain
away so I won't have to think about this. But
when I go home laying on that pillow, I'm crying, Damn,
why me? Why I'm in his dog? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:30):
It's you know, when you when it comes to like,
if you're going through something, you feel uncomfortable, you said,
whatever the thing is that you're feeling that you don't
want to feel. There's so many bad decisions you can
make to cover it up that sometimes when it comes
to like covering it up with work, it just feels better,

(35:52):
It feels less guilty to cover up the feeling that
you're running away from. Because sometimes you're running away from
an emotion you don't know really how to deal with it,
and you're.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Just gonna keep running, keep running, keep running. But then
it's like when you when you meet the edge of
that cliff, what happens. All that shit is bottled up
inside and it's hurting you. You might just go over,
Like I feel like it's bester to talk and let
people know about your emotions. So if you ever meet

(36:27):
that cliff, you you don't talk it over to a
point you could talk yourself with that age to step back.
It ain't made for me to go over. But when
you're at that edge, it's so much going through your hand,
it's so much you just feel like you're not you're
not worthy of being there, and then you'll jump over
the edge.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
I also feel like if excellent point first of all,
to add on top of that, I also feel like
you know when you feel bad or when you feel
uncomfortable or uneasy or is there something going on. Maybe
there's a loss in your family. Maybe it's maybe you
and your friend not tight no, or maybe you broke
you know what I mean, maybe it's having their breakup.
Like I think, it's really important for people to understand

(37:04):
that feeling that you that you're feeling right now, that's
making you feel uncomfortable and that's why you want to
sex the pain away or drink or whatever. That feeling
is showing up, because y'all need to have an introduction.
Y'all need to be and what you need to do. Listen,
I can't tell you one hundred percent what to do,

(37:24):
but what I can tell you is that when that
feeling comes, don't run from it. I mean, you gotta
feel bad, you gotta feel bad. I can tell you
what to do when you feel that feeling. It's okay
to sit.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Somebody down like this is how I'm feeling today, because
people like how you feeling today. I'm good knowing that
I'm not good to the point. It used to be
times where I call my mother and I'm crying because
i feel like I'm at the age like it's hard,
I can't do this, and she's at work and she's
trying to like she's talking to me about off that age.
She's times I call my grandfather and he called me,

(37:57):
and I call my grandfather. He like, yeah, Chris, and
I'm calling him like Daddy, I'm at my breaking point.
I can't fight no more. He's like, nah, you can't
give up with me. Now, you gotta keep fight. You
got to keep swinging. I ain't teach you this. Keep
them hands up, keep swinging. Don't let the devil take
you over. And I sat there and I'm like damn,
and I come off my edge. The's times I sat there.

(38:18):
I called my ex to honey and I'm like, yo,
it's hard. And I cried on the phone and she's
like yo, but you know what we was against. And
I set there like damn, and it's like, cool, I
gotta fight this bad or I gotta fight this me
get up. It's time. Like I didn't want to express
my emotions to my friends because it's like they only
look at me as one way to a point. My

(38:40):
right hand in the same one that I got shot with.
He'd be he worked, Oh he used to work over nights.
Me and him is on the phone and all that
and I told him like, yeah, damn, bro, I'm going
through it. I'm like and we sat there, were talking
back on the phone because he's telling me what he
going through and I'm telling him what I'm going through,
and it's like for a minute, it's like we vulnerable
to each other. We be understanding each other, We're trying

(39:03):
to help each other out, trying to figure it out.
I'm not high now, emotions no more. My oldest sister Crystal,
I call and I'm crying. I'm like, yo, it's just hard,
and she's like, yo, I know, stink fuk, but you
gotta stand in there, like you can't leave me now.
And it's like all right, cool. So that's the first step,
is telling the people how you feel instead of high
in it. For the first couple of years I hit it,

(39:23):
it was not see no good. Yeah, I yo, he good.
My mother like, man, this big a nigga good.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
But really inside, I'm dying inside now if I'm not
feeling good, you're always one of them days like what's wrong? Nah?

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Just just thinking this that. And the third I'm not
ashamed to say it because now I feel much better
when it's out there. And now when it's out in
the universe. I got my little brother calling me, what's
going on, gang, what's up? How you feeling? Got my sister,
what's up? Mommy told me you having a bad day.
I got my little sister come over here with her kids.
The twins. They running and they jumping on me. I
love you, uncle Chris. They kissing me. Just the third

(40:00):
it's like, I feel better now. No, I'm not feeling.
My son coming in he's he's signing wrong. He'll walk
back and forth, walking back and forth. He had jumped this, that,
and the third, he'd be a play fighting all that. Man,
that feeling that is going down. I express how I feel.
So the best thing to do is express it instead
of bottling keeping it bottled up, because the only thing
is going to do is just you just a walking

(40:21):
tom bamb to either hurt yourself or somebody else. And
it's not good. It's definitely not good. I've been I've
been in these points. I've been in these places. I've
been in these points when I try to hurt myself.
I've been in these places when I hurt other people. Nah,
sometimes it's just a simple I'm not feeling good today.
The world is dark today. That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
That that perfectly leads into my next question, which is, like,
can you talk about the importance of asking for help
before you start drowning? I'm about to go into the
other run. I'm gonna stop the session just yeah. Can
you you can keep going, though? Can you tell me
about the importance of a man asking for help before
he gets to the point where he feels like he's drowning?

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, I less you want to clip it there when
you're going back, not go for it, go for it.
So I feel like it's best to ask for help
before you start drowning, because it can really be too late.
I feel it was definitely me like I don't, like

(41:24):
I said, I don't abuse alcohol, I don't abuse drugs.
I don't put my hands on women, I don't put
my hands on friends. I don't felt like I was
like helpless and lost and I was by myself. I
was confused when the whole time, the littlest things I
could have dode was just ask for help to do

(41:45):
certain things. Oh, I can't pick my son up from school.
I'm set up there moping and I'm crying about it,
when I could have just had somebody just to say,
you know, can you please take me? Can you help me?
And that little thing where it went far At the time,
I wasn't comfortable walking with the stick, Yo, can you

(42:08):
please help me to the store? But it said I
got frustrated because I felt like I was, like, to
go back to the first point of the podcast, I
felt like I was a man. I couldn't ask for
help or I couldn't ask for somebody to do something
because I felt like I was less of a man.
There's nothing wrong with help. I felt like that's the

(42:29):
best thing to do. It's ask for help because trying
to figure things out and do it yourself and you
don't know what direction you're going in the only place
you're going is down underwater you're going and like quick
saying taking like taking the floor from up under you
ask for the help, like yo, I'm drowning, throw the

(42:54):
lifeguard in, grab my hand. We don't, we don't. We
don't have to honestly speak, We don't have to suffer
when we got people around us to help us. We
definitely got to reach out more to when we need help.
Like like I said before, you left out, even if
it's to eat. There's nothing wrong with reaching out to

(43:15):
the people around y'all. Listen, it's been a bad week
for me. I don't have money to eat. Can you
help me? I felt like a lot of people Proude
is too big for that. No, we need to put
the pride aside to reach out to the ones that
we have around you and helped. Like I explained, I
knew my podcast had potential. I kept reaching out to you. Yo,

(43:38):
you ain't ready to be the producer yet, this, that,
and the third until I you cave in. And the
body of the body of work that we are producing
every weekend, giving it to the packaging and giving it
up to the people, it's phenomenal. So it's like it's
priceless to a point. Later, podcast networks in different gonna

(44:00):
be beaten at my door, knockn have my door.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
I know it is. And then now it's like, now
that I got this, this great body of work, and
I could I could demand what I want cool, I don't.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Want you to produce. I got to bring my producer
with me. I don't want this, I don't want that,
like and what that came from that came from me
reaching my head out for help and what being a
lifeguard to pull me out the water, to help me out?
I lost the whole episode with Weezy Weezy w t
F Weezy, decision, decision, whatever you want to name her.

(44:36):
I was sick bro for that moment. I wanted to
give up podcasting after that, Yeah, I feel you. But
then look what happened. Weezy willing to come back up here,
And it all came from the help that I reached
out for. It's not wrong that me and Wolf took
all the time. Things he needs help with. I'm here,

(44:57):
things I need help with. He here. It's like it
is a combination. There's no pride, no that we laugh.
We joke. That's what good friends about. It was one
time that our text Wolf, damn, it's feeling dark. I'm
feeling like I need some white. It's dark, and it's like, damn,
why you felt like that?

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Dog?

Speaker 1 (45:15):
We came in here, We made a podcast, made magic
like little shit. I have a hard time trusting people.
I had Wolf woking me up Canal Street with my stick.
My mother said, you must really trust him. I don't
do that with nobody, everybody, even for me to come
to the studio by myself and like somewhat putting my

(45:36):
life in your hands. I trust trust. Look at a
combination we build so and like to flip the question around,
if you feel like you drowning, are you too man
enough to reach out for help? One of those I
gotta figure it out myself.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
In a lot of ways. Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm
not as bro in a lot of ways.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Wow, don't you know sometimes you can go a week
further if you just asks. You can't ask everybody, because
some people just not your friends. Some people love to
see your downfall.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Some people live off that, and they live off people
down for Yeah, but if you're going through something, whether
it's a couple of dollars short, this, that and.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
The third, it's not even wrong with turning to your
real friends and be like, listen, it's been a bad
week for me, or Bill's caught me this week, this
and the third. You got ten twenty hours for me
to eat. A real friend ain't gonna look at that.
They're gonna respect their head, no problem. A real friend
ain't even gonna look for that money back either.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
I think I think it's been such a long time
since how do I say this, I think it's been
such a long time since I've been in that traditional
dynamic between like, oh, this is my friend. I think
it's been so long since I've actually been in that

(47:01):
type of rhythm with somebody that I just kind of
I just look inward, now, you know what I mean,
Like I don't even think to look outside myself because
and I don't and I don't mean no disrespect to
nobody that I call my friend, But it's like I
just think that, like there's been so many times in
my life where I just felt like I couldn't tell them,

(47:23):
not because they would not even because they wouldn't have
I don't know. Sometimes I almost feel like, let me
not waste my time sometimes like it's not even about theirs,
Like let me not waste my time because maybe they
not gonna get it, or maybe they're not gonna understand,
or a lot of the time it could be sometimes
with me, like I could I could be a pretty
judgmental person, bro. And sometimes like if I got a

(47:44):
friend of my life and I feel like they're not
operating in they like the way they could, sometimes it
just it makes me want to distance myself from them.
It's just kind of like, my nigga, you're not doing
what you're supposed to be doing, Like how could you
be not.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
In a way like that. I totally understand, Like I
do the same thing.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah, like how could you be beneficial to me? Not
that you can not Like it's always good to have
an ear. But in my mind, I'm like, nigga, you're
not even helping yourself.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
So how can you help me? And that one thousands?
But so I understand. But I'm that type of friend
a person. They'll be like, yo, bro, listen, I need
to borrow a couple of dollars me. Bro, you don't
explain that shit to me. How much you need? I
can send it. You want to sell, you want to
cash out, but you want to come by the crib
and pick it up your cash. I don't care what
you need it for. Bro, you don't got to explain

(48:30):
it to me. That's none of my business. Just here's
the money, so you could deal with your business. Now.
I have you somebody that is just I need a bear,
I need to drink. I want to go to the club. Yeah,
I want to go to the club. I want to
get lit. I want to do nah, nigga, I don't
got nothing for you. I don't got for you full
of money. Yeah, I ain't got nothing for you. Like
sometimes you gotta do that. But I see somebody that's

(48:52):
grinding and doing what they got to do and put
all their resources out here. It's a big difference.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
It's a big difference when it's like that, you know,
And I think, again, no disrespect to nobody. And this
is another thing I've been learning my lessons through this.
Like I literally was just on this guy's podcast virtually,
this dude here, a life coach, and he kind of
asked me a similar question and I told him the
same thing I'm telling you. But what I also told
him is that I also had to kind of rewire

(49:18):
my brain and understand that like just because said friend,
whoever that person is, just because they don't want to
work hard at something outside of their job, right, because
they're not going hard on their passion doesn't mean that
they're not valuable anymore though, And I know that, but

(49:38):
I don't operate like that.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Though I don't operate like that. Anybody work at this
is different.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah, And also I don't know, it's like fuck, it's
like it's like I'm trying to find the words and
I'm not not really reaching them. But honestly, if I
had a woman in my life, I feel like I
feel a lot more comfortable sharing just like certain shit
with just a woman.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
A woman, you know what I mean, I give what
you saying. I was the same way, like things like
I was telling my ex I couldn't tell outside.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
It's like it's not that I don't love my man's
but it's like I'd rather tell you something something about
it just feel better speaking get.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
To I used to feel that the same way until
I had that first conversation with my right here man,
and it's like I can show you that even though
I'm strong, I had weak moments. Yeah, And I feel
like our relationship got even way better because now it's
like I'm crying into you of what I'm going through.
I'm not hiding this ship from you no more. This

(50:34):
is what I'm going through since the day I came
out to the hospital, bro. And it's like he never
judged me. He always understood. Like, but it's gonna be
all right, bro. Like that's my biggest like that's my
biggest supporter right there, Yo, Bro, it's gonna be all right.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Now it's cool. Bro. Podcast came. I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
The word need didn't know what you went through the
world needed to hear this, Like he motivated. He pushed
me to get to where I'm at today. Nah, that's
why I said, it's not wrong with that ship. I'm
pouring in like I ain't scared. IF's something I ain't
scared of Pelton your text, walf Yoda, how you gonna
figure this shit out? Bro?

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Like like I got you into my circle, Like I
got you into my circle, so I'm comfortable to doing that.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Like I'm reaching out to help, like I put out,
I need a manager who want to help me, to
be my manager, who want to help me to stay
on top of certain ship. I'm connecting you with an email,
a business email and all, Like, let's get this money.
It may not be much in the beginning, but it's
gonna pay off when I started taking off. Who believe
in me that much? I want to be my manager?

(51:43):
That want to be the the shop off I store,
making sure all this and everything is fulfilled and all that.
Who want to do that. Let's let's build this company.
Let's stand behind Chris Feld the global and then everything
else gonna come from there. Because when I make it,

(52:04):
everybody that that was with me when it was nothing
coming with me. I ain't scared to ask for that help.
Some people are like, nah, I ain't loo getting for nobody. There,
no this, that, and sometimes some of the best hand
I was, beauty, get you where you need to go.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I'm I'm I'm gonna definitely start working on it.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yeah, definitely I was. I was just the same way. Bro.
If I'm hungry, I won't never tell nobody if I
if I ain't having the gas money, I'll eat a
car park and I'll walk because I ain't want to
ask nobody for money for no gas. I ain't want
to do that. I ain't want to do a lot
of shit. But then it's like, now that I'm thinking back,
it's like I let my pride get in the way
of a lot of things that could have came my way.

(52:41):
When it's not it's really not worth it. Yeah, I'm
not scared to ask for help. Sometimes you asking for
help and could move you ten places up.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
That's a fact because you know, in our culture, a
lot of the time we got this foolish mentality that
like and rap song is perpetuated all the time. It
was like, oh like, I like, I did it all
by myself, and it was like nigga, everybody somebody.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Even that they said they did about yourself. But when
you start pulling the strings or see you had a
pr you see, you had a manager. You see, you
had your best friend doing this. You see you had
your your mom's doing this that you never did that
ship by yourself. Nah, I didn't do this by myself.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Even if your moms didn't do nothing but make your meals.
It's like, nigga, your meals, Nigga, that's nourishment.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
She gave you exactly nourishment. She washed your clothes, clothes.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
You didn't do it by yourself. Your girlfriend, like nigga,
you didn't do it by yourself going through relieving yourself,
sexual healing. Yep, that's nigga. That's just wanted to keep
you going.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
When you're in the house and you you saying these
lines old and no shit not baby sound good baby
shit had this never doing it by yourself by yourself.
Didn't do it by yourself. Me, I didn't do this
by myself. Bob and I see a wheezy orchestrated there.
I had. I never worked with Alex, but we had Eden.
I had y'all, and I had Dave. Look whoof this

(54:08):
podcast didn't just come just with me just coming in
here thinking I'm big bad because I got a story
to tell. Now, I needed the right people to put
around the story, to bring you the content that I'm
bringing you every week. I had my little brother CJ
come here every week uploading the content, making up names
for the titles and like we really figured it out together.

(54:33):
I didn't do it by myself. I need I needed
the people, the fans, to share it, to hit the
airplane mode, to put in their stories. Otherwise my podcast
and content would never got far if I didn't have y'all.
We all need somebody, And I'm not ashamed to say it.
I still need y'all to share it, to like to describe,
to tell her friend, to tell her friends. I would
never not need y'all. Even when I'm at I feel

(54:54):
like I'm at the highest point, I still need y'all.
I still need y'all. Jay Z need us, fab need us,
fifty cent need us, marriage a blind need us because
they drop in and we don't support it. Who is they? They?

Speaker 2 (55:08):
They nobody's they do concerts. Were not paying for these
they were not buying these tickets.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Who are there? They are nobody? They need us. We
all need everybody needs somebody. Everybody needs somebody. Them them
disabled people that's on the other side of that screen
hearing me talk, giving them motivation that they want to
start a podcast. They need us, They need me well
dropping knowledge halfway up. People need you, even though it

(55:33):
might be a thousand people in the water with you.
But guess what, you can start your own ocean. You
creating your own bloody see why everybody over here eating
you finding ways to move through all these sharks and
start your own blood path and your own ocean. That's
why I said, like, it's a lot of people that's
out there doing what you do, But how many of

(55:54):
them putting out quality content? How many of them really
sticking with it? Like talking knowledge? People up there talking bullshit.
You're like, I'm not listen to that next podcast. But
when you're talking this and then and people take their
hand off the next button and they actually listening, Like
damn what he's saying. Your clips always grabbed me into

(56:15):
a point. I gotta listen to the whole episode. I'm like, Yo,
you really be talking that talk, talking that ship motivate,
you make, you make a young man wanted like turn
into being a man about the way of living. I'm like, nah,
you you really doing your thing, bro, You really done
your thing. Just like when you were speaking last week,

(56:37):
seeing how you grab the crowd and you interact with them,
like I said, damn, like you really making people better
without even knowing that you really what you're doing. Nah,
don't don't stop. You gotta give man, you gotta jump
on more panels and all that shit. Take this shit over.
Let people know like you you're not You're not just
Wolf Taylor.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
You're the king of content, your own right in your
own lane.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
To believe it or not. Man, you and we in
two different lanes. We have never cross path. I got
the story, you got the knowledge, and look what we created.
We created magic. I mean people my mother called, she said, Yo,
ain't gonna lie like you and what dy man, how
y'all work? He's like, you see what you think about that?
And then you start talking like yeah, wo be serious.

(57:22):
But you the clown, he said. But they jaws together
that say that shit is somebody like, Yo, damn you
and woof need a podcast together, bro, I said, why
you feel like? He said, Yo, It's just you got
two different views. It's like you be talking from a
hood point of view and what I said, explain. He said,
you talking from the hood point of view and Wolf
talking from the suburbs point of view. I started laughing.

(57:45):
I said, not the way TikTok me trying to in
crucify one man. They're like, nah, they're like Noah Wolf
looking at it on a higher level. You looking at
it like man, fuck that level like I said. Yeah,
I said, but look at the beauty of two different,
two different words coming together and creating magic.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Also, hold on, I just got to clear that I'm
not from the fucking suburbs. Okay, I just got to
clear that I am not from the fucking suburbs. Yo
for the suburb I just gotta cut it up like
I'm not from the fucking suburbs. You know what I'm saying.
I did not grow up like that. I did not
grow up with like I grow up like that, my nigga,

(58:24):
you know what I'm saying This.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
I came out the project hallways and what jumped off
the front part?

Speaker 2 (58:29):
Yeah, fuck no, fuck no, Like, please don't get nothing misunderstand.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
I don't know what it is, yo, they say, he
just took whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
That might give off the impression. But I'll be the
first to let you know I ain't suburban about me.
I was dying, not a motherfucking thing.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
The whole episode about the slight like he like the
suburb Who I am?

Speaker 2 (58:53):
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Like I said, Yo, They was like, Yo, that's why
what person it's like doctor Umar Boosie on account together.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
That's better than the suburbs at least ship, at least
doctor respecting my people from the suburbs. But like that,
I have lived a very unique life and I don't
walk through a lot of different types of paths to
get to where I'm at right now. And that and
was not one piece of that ship, not one piece

(59:21):
of that ship, Suburbs, suburb not one not one piece,
not one piece. So that's I just got to say
that because the bro because one thing about me, I
don't ever want to get misunderstood with a certain type
of thing. It's like, now, one thing about me, bro
like I paid all my dudes, you know, one thousand,
me and my family. You know what I'm saying. I'm

(59:41):
not even about to go out deep into it. But
like they ship silver spoonish around this bitch, not one
thing otherwise. Yeah, they think they could think that though,
But for the people that's listening here, it's like listen
like whatever, I don't know if it's like.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
The way I talk, the way I look it is,
they just they go for clip and feel like that's
fine what it is now, But you to really tap
into the episode.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Nigga, I'm not from the suburbs. I've never lived in
the suburbs never ever, what.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Boys out for the suburbs?

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Yeah, I gotta let that be known, you know what
I'm saying. Like, Nah, nigga, like what you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
You know what they talk about. But yeah, man, don't
never be scared to ask for help. Man, Sometimes I
ask for help. You can block your blessings. Yeah, block
your blessings because you never know who could pull you
up out of that quick sand and bring you into
a whole different platform. Right never. Never, that's like that's
like ask for help. It's like you pretty much locking

(01:00:36):
down opportunities for you. We're not doing that for the
new year. Like I said, we've grown, we be on
bigger and better, were on different ship.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Like I'm on my way here and I get a
text from niggas that can see four eyes clearly, you'll
see you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
No, you gotta put together a festival, bro, Let's think big. Yeah,
the parties every week is cool, but let's let's bring
out a Let's do a festival that people look for
every year to come to. Yeah, all right, I'm gonna
get started on it. So that's how I said, we're
not blocking no more blessings.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Man, No, we're definitely not blocking no more blessings. And
he's not from the suburbs. I'm not from the fucking suburbs.
I damn never get offended if I would, because it's
just like, don't take away my accnplisation. Yeah, because it's
just it's just like, you know, like the type of
life that I've lived, bro, the type of ship that
I've been around. I'm not from the fucking suburbs.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
I done been around some ship, respectfully.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
Shout out to my mother and my father being beautiful people.
You know what I'm saying. But at the end of
the day. It's like, Nigga, my my story ain't been all.
I got a beautiful heart.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
But we didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
We didn't have hard times. Run now have silver spoons
like I'm talking about, Like Nigga, we didn't. We didn't
fucking opened up Christmas gifts with flashlights and candles because
it wasn't no electricity on Christmas Day.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
People don't understand that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
On Christmas Day, I'm talking about coming home from school
and it's all good when the sun is up. But
when the sun is down, Nigga, I got a handle
with me so I can I can aim straight, so
I can make sure I'm not pissing on the ground.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
People don't understand that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
It's like that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
You know that niggas been in his when blackout heat.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
You know what I'm saying. It's like that, you know
what I mean, Like we just really couldn't pay that
light bill, or were sleeping on so and so floor,
were sleeping on sweet and so and so. How so
we got it from place to place, so we mom
trying to pawn the fucking wedding ring so we can
get some bread. You know what I mean. It's like
the wedding ring. Is she been heart and my dad
been separated?

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
But it's like you gotta keep that type of ship
around that's value because it might be value. You can
turn that into that can go liquid. Yeah, you know
what I'm saying. So like you know what I'm saying,
and listen, I never try to sit in there like
I had the worst life. I definitely have not, but
it ain't the fucking suburbs.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Either had a worse life. But I mean you definitely
had to work to where you got.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
It's been work, bro, it's been working, even just the
ship that I experienced through my homies and ship like that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
Like look at you now though, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
So we were proud to be here. We're not from
the fucking suburbs. I just gotta I can. I gotta that.
I just got to. You know what I'm saying. It's
like that's what you make that you're looking at the Yeah,
man at you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
You know, let's not let's start running away from this
mental health please.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Yeah, if you need help, bro, read the help.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Please do.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
I'm gonna do better. I got it. I could work
on them.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Yeah, because I worked on myself.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
I was mad.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
I wasn't telling people I was going through. I was
putting my hands on women and I was drinking.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
I was your hands on women.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
That's the worst thing I ever did in life. Bro.
I hate my I be hating myself to this day
over ship like that, bro, because it was like it
was that was never me, that was I was never
that person. I never let women get under my skin.
And it's like at that moment, I'm fighting the dog
and they and it came off to them. And then

(01:03:51):
right after I did that, ship is like I'm crying,
I'm sorry, Like, what the fuck is I'm doing?

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Like you can't take it back?

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
But I kept telling them to stay away from me.
I'm a fucking monster. I'm not this person. Just do
third stay away from me? This right so on, all
I could have been avoided. I was telling the people
what I was going through. All that could have been avoided.
But I sat there and said, listen, I'm not having
a good day today. Can you please stop doing this? Yeah,
there's nothing wrong with that. Man, Like, man, that's straighten up.

(01:04:17):
Don't let our pride get the best of us. Let's
take this game over. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
Do.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
I'm scared. We got talk space out there that you
can reach out to medicaid. You can do that shit
in your comfort zone. You got better help. You can
do that shit from your comfort zone. And I'm not
sponsored by even one of them, but they need a sponsor.
So though, thanks to Chad GBT, it might be coming.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
So i mean, listen, I just got a sponsor. Man,
maybe we can we can, we can spread the wealth
around some somehow, some way.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
What's the new sponsor.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
The new sponsor is King Energy Only. Man, King Energy Only.
So I just literally recorded three episodes. I gave him
a shout out. They didn't ask me this too. They
literally just semi your product, and it was just like
just show a little love. But I'm so I'm such
a grateful individual. I literally did three episodes. I gave
him a shout out in all three episodes, and then
I made a piece of content. I'm working on it,

(01:05:04):
like a little piece of like a little lifestyle content.
Like I'm like, they send me a candle, and they
send me a room spread heat through this. Man feel
definitely was telling me about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
So I'm making a little piece of content like you know,
lighting it like showing it in my life and ship
like that. You know what I mean, using it, Yeah,
because I want to. It's all about relationships.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Nah, that's it's all about, you know, like the Master
Connect Agency. Come on, oh you know sponsored by No Code.
He showed me nothing but love like comment on everything, Nicole.
We just need this booking audio audible. Turn it to
audible with the block community that need to head the
gems that you dropping. We need this in audible and
shout out to Candice Foster. She sponsored a podcast to

(01:05:43):
be coming. It's coming soon, next episode be going Limited
Wealth Builders. She fixed my credit I'm gonna send that
over to you too, big dude, because oh I had
credit of a dad man and she she gave that
shiit CPR credit of a credit man. You did CPR.
She gave mouth to mouth. I'm telling you now my credit,

(01:06:07):
I can go into the banks. They said, hey, mister
fild would you like to apply for a platinum card
to I would I'm loving it. Shout out to you. Then,
I mean I got another one. A book publishing company.
They sending the merch they sending their stuff out so
I could put on the episode shout out to Paul.
I'm working. I'm working, so talk space better, helping all

(01:06:28):
of them out there that's holding back. Come on, yes,
hold back. Poppy is on them. Come on yo.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
It's like we just got to get the numbers up.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Oh yeah, we working.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Once we get the numbers up, theyre gonna slide.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Yeah. I'm starting to put money behind marketing and stuff
right now. They get the word out there even more.
But it's like before, like before I leave this earth,
I'm gonna have a street named after me. Before I
leave this earth, They're gonna have to put me in
somebody textbook. That's what you want, That's what I want, No, lie,
I want when you walk into the disabled building, you're

(01:07:01):
gonna see my picture of it there. I like, I'm
the motherfucking CEO, because why I gave these blind people
a voice. I gave blond people vision when they thought
they lost their sight.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
I gave people that's in the wheelchairs, like the ability
to walk even though you can't walk between we stepping,
we walking.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
So therefore y'all gotta put my picture there because I
ain't leaving us behind. I'm taking this over like if
I make it. When I come on stage. I'm bringing
all y'all with me that may not be on stage
physically with me. When I'm walking with y'all, when i'm
talking about talking, I'm talking my shit and I'm popping
my ship. That's a believer. It's ten blond people that
didn't get this far that that's struggling that I'm talking for.

(01:07:40):
It's blind people that couldn't deal with it, that committed
suicide and couldn't deal with it. But guess what I'm
talking for y'all too. So therefore you got to put
my picture in these buildings. I'm leaving me. They I
mean they They pumped Stevie wand up. They pump Ray
Charles up. They're gonna have to pump see no end
of the story. I am who I am? Where can

(01:08:02):
they find you at?

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Well? Forget about me. Bro Outro was amaculate Outro was
great man.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
I'm just saying, private investigator to find him, telling him,
are you serious about that?

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
You ain't serious? This nigga talking, this nigga chatting? Why not?

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
I want him to see what he did when he created?
Oh what to him? Wow Yo?

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
No funny ship.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
I owe his life to him. No, funny ship, this
pain that I experienced that I can't on this couch
and express, I want to give it to him.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
I know this sounds crazy, but like one day if
I don't know, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
Know, I'm a bump into him one day.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
No no, no no, But I'm saying like one day,
like if you had him on the pod. I know
that sounds crazy and I know that's like something's just
not worth money, but I'm just saying, like I'm just
imaginating me real quick though, I'm imagining with that bitch
straight on Patreon. Put that bitch straight on page be
a paid gonna run out' gonna run out you want

(01:09:04):
to see people.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
It's gonna be the fire marshals in here, the fun
because it's gonna be too hot, police detective, everybody gonna
be out here because they won't make sure this podcast.
I wouldn't even do it in the studio, fun that
we were doing a live show for you, a live show.
I want people to like. Show like David like I'm

(01:09:26):
not about the street justice.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
Know how to talk to you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
I want people to let him look stupid. I want
people to see him do the stupid. I want people
to clap when he come on stage, because look, you
created a motherfucking monster beast. I can't be stopped you.
You fed me shells, try to put me in the
in the grave, and it's like, I'm I rose like
like like, and it's crazy, right, good Fridays. When Jesus died,

(01:09:54):
he rose on Easter twenty first. I got that right.
I got off the rest rain of the twenty four.
That's three days. I'm the motherfucking blonde Jesus. It said
seven days, right, seven days Jesus did it. Seven days

(01:10:16):
I was. I was diddy bopping out the hospital. Call
me Jesus the Blonde Jesus. I'm signing to be wrecking
with man, like I said. There's no mountain higher enough
that I can't climb. There's no old shit wid enough
that I can't swim. There's no obstacle that I can
defeat breakthrough. I am blonde, poffee. I am the official

(01:10:36):
blonde stepper from the Blocking I Se podcast. I'm thirteen
years in man, and we see me when I'm fourteen
years and and we out of here, man here, Manna.
I had to let people know give me my credit. Man,

(01:11:00):
that was good. I am who I am for sure
I am who I am