Trauma taught me some SH*T

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/blind-but-now-i-see--4777474/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Back at it for another episode of the Blomber and
I See show. This is the voice of the DISABLSN.
This is not a disabled podcast, even though you see
two disabled heroes. I am your host, fob Oh, I
am your host, fobc up the Raha Blonde Poppy if
you nasty, the official blonde Stuffer, and I'm in the
studio with my sister. I all gotta keep announcing. You

(00:21):
could just jump in. You gotta get a routine together, sir,
tell me it's your girls get a routine together.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
It's Fringy aka hot Wheels again, and we're back to
give you another great episode.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Locked in you know where. We're at two sixty five
Canal Street where magic happened. We got my boy Wolf
behind the cameras. He's he's still on site, even though
you don't see him on the couch. He's still here though,
the number one producer of the Blamberin I See podcast.
And before we even get into this episode, I just
want to send a rest in peace to Matt. Rest
in peace. I ain't gonna I was about to stop podcasting,

(00:53):
but Matt came all the way down here from Ohio
just to meet me. He blonde to He died in
his sleep two weeks ago. Wrestling man, you will always
be a blond stepper. Gang your wings? You know you
might see it again? You do you think he can see?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
That would be beautiful If that's.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Beautiful, right, he ain't gang his wings, gang's eyes. That's
what I want. I don't want to. I just want
my eyes when I go. But how you been my sister?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Though I've been good, I've been chilling mental health. Mentally,
I'm feeling good. I'm not going on. Don't go see
my me anymore, can't have me and have me and
her in.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Before late day, I've been feeling good. You know. I
did the live show, Billy Live Show, Need to be Steady.
I still didn't find no love though I hold you.
I just thought about that when I left.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
It was just whole.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah, it was somebody pregnant.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
One pregnant. She was off limits.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
So Billy did me dirty. But I loved it though,
shout out to you, Billy. But what today? What we
got a store today? Though?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Today we're gonna discuss trauma and how you can still
get blessings from it and how it can help you
to open your eyes and wake up and just see
things differently, No pun intended.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
I like that. Shit. Though a lot of people run
away from trauma, they do, a lot of people run
away from TRUMPA.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Jay Z said something, so he said, can't run from
the pain, go towards it. And I always remember that.
So now let's just get straight, let's get straight into it.
Let's get it because but the people that don't know,
because even though we feel like we might have shared
our stories a thousand times's a lot of people that
don't know what happened.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
People that's coming in.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Were you born blind?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Nah, I wasn't born blind. Thirteen years ago, I was
shot three times, twice to my head, once to my
shoulder in the streets of Brooklyn, Brownsville. To be exact,
I hate Brownsville, and I was left on the floor
to die, you know, like fighting for my life, crawling
like I never in my I'm thirty. I can't say

(02:46):
thirty five because I'd be thirty five next month. But
I can't never say, like in twenty two years of
living thought I would feel the feeling of bullets ripping
through my skin. Never in my life felt I would
be on the floor fighting for my life. I never
thought in my life that I'd be waking up blind.
Waking up I thought my eyes were just swollen until

(03:10):
like my seventh day in the hospital and they broke
the nose that I am blind. Strong though. Eight days
in the hospital, three days recovery, I mean three days respirator,
four days recovery, eight day I'm walking out the hospital.
I had a mission, my son. But just like being

(03:30):
in the dark is very hard and people don't understand that.
But no matter how many times I tell the stories,
like you just thinking just different things, different things, And
it's like I never in my life pleaded for a
second chance, other than when I was on the floor,

(03:51):
were laying down, bleeding out of my head. I lost
a lot of blood. They wanted to.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Put another shot, and you said, you were shot in
your head two times twice. So it gets shot, And
where did it go through?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Can you show us came from the right side, hit
from the right side, came off the left. That's where
it took the vision out because they clipped the cords.
Then I got hit right in the back of my head,
and then they hit me in my own.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
And people when you felt that you were still I
was you were still wide away. Wow, you didn't a
lot of people would pass the funk out.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Did you just hear bee? And I'm fighting, I'm crawling
to the car. I heard a bee, That's all you heard?
Would just bee? I'm crawling. I got up, I fell.
And the crazy thing about it is my sight didn't
just go right away.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
It didn't.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Nah, I'm still saying, I'm seeing what my car is.
I counted my money, I seen my son on the
screen saver. I seen blood on my boots and I
was pistol.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
So did the bullet go up? Both of them went
out your head.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Not the one in the back stayed in it.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
So it's like, so do you feel like that move.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Like the one and the one in the back ricochet
pretty much. But the one on the side of my
face the clipped the cords connecting. They clipped the cord
that was see.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Stop seeing.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
When I got up with the respirator, Oh my god,
my eyes was shut close swollen. So somethinking.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
So maybe when they did the surgery, they.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Could have no surgery, got no surgery.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
They didn't do no surgery on your head.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Surgery, just put the respirator inside.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
My mouth, So it's like your vision faded away.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Faded away slowly, and that was like the worst pain
because it's like, I'm really it's like my actual life
is fading away until the life I'm living now, like
really thinking about it, it's like you like you're running
a tunnel. You feel me like you're running in the
tunnel and you see in the light. But it seemed
like that light is going further and further and further.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
So it's like the closer you get, the further get.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, because and it didn't fade away that fast because
they put me on the ambulance, and the ambulance I
seen you still took me out. I've seen my best
friend there. I've seen them cops trying to push them.
I've seen them wop the respirator. It was over, like
my vision was hanging County.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
They did that ship.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
You can see what I felt that way. But then
when you see X rays and you see how damn
like the chords to the brain.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
But if that's the case, then if it grot then
it's like wouldn't it why would it gradually go away?
If they clipped it automatically, you should not have seen.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Anymore I don't know, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
We were about to suit them fading and fad your.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Feet and I'm just like, yo, what the hell is
going on? Like little, it's like like glitching. My vision
was glitching. It's like it was like spotty, like holding
on to them, and it's like once that respirator happen
and everything, it's like maybe you're adrenaline kept your vision going,
kept it pumping, probably because I didn't know I got shot.

(06:53):
I'm still moving. I didn't know I got shot. I'm
still running. I'm still still going. Yeah, until they hit
me with the needle, put me on a respirator, and
then it was like I is over. I woke up,
I swollen. I'm like, I just it's just swell. But
then they opened my eyes that I dropped drops in
it and it's like, damn, I'm not seeing when they're
doing it, but my eyes reacting to light. Just wed

(07:17):
But what about you?

Speaker 2 (07:18):
What about me?

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Let's let's talk about you.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh me, So I was fifteen, I was thirty, So
that was fourteen years ago for me. So twenty eleven,
August twenty seventh, that actually just made fourteen years on Wednesday.
So I went and.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Celebrated that you gotta celebrate.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
So I went to a party and I got shot
in my back. A lot of people know. I'm pretty
sure I have it all over YouTube by this point,
but I got shot on my back. In the first
feelings was I didn't know I was shot. So there
everybody's telling like, everybody's saying, you're not shot. You're not
shot because I had on a black dress that night,
so you can't see anything. You don't see it people,
you don't see nothing. So I just felt numb. Like

(08:00):
everybody was getting up because they started shooting. Mad people
got shot. It was eleven people got shot. Eleven people
got shot. So everybody's getting up and I'm still on
the ground. They like, get up, get up because my
bro had pulled me to the ground, but running over
people because I'm like, what the fuck is I'm so
drunk I was when I say I was off, I
was off drugs with that girl ship that Listen, they

(08:22):
pumped my stomach. They've seen some shit in there. But
I had thought. I was like, oh, they got some
fireworks at this party. It's lit like it was really
a lit ass party, like the whole hood was there.
So now as I'm on the ground, I'm trying to
get back up because my bro had pulled me to
the ground because he's like, what the fuck you get down?
You know what I'm saying, he put me to the ground.
Soon as he put me to the ground, exactly where

(08:43):
my head was, a bullet flew bomb, so it could
have literally been my head. So now I'm on the
ground and I can't get up. I can't get up.
I can't get up. They're like, get up. I'm like,
I can't get up. I can't get up. I could
still move my arms and shit, you know crazy. You
know the crazy part is I cannot And I'm be
so honest. I believe I was still filling my legs

(09:04):
before I woke up into the hospital. That's the crazy part.
I just couldn't get up, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm sitting there and they're like, you didn't get shot.
You didn't get shot, but my legs, like my vagina,
I was bleeding, and they like, oh, maybe glass just
brew up in between your legs like a bottle and
a major.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
No.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
I'm like it wouldn't make me not get up. I'm
like I got shot. You know what I'm saying, Like
I knew it. I'm like, I got shot. Like they
turned me over and they've seen it.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
They was like, she got shot your back.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Nope, I guess yeah. Adrenaline, Yeah, adrenaline. It just it
numbed me up.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Like I didn't feel any pain, see me, I felt burned,
and I.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Felt like, no, that's all. When everybody tell me how
bullets feel, pushing it, piercing your flesh, I think God
in them drugs.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
That you didn't maybe maybe what the drugs?

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Drugs? I had so much alcohol in my system. I
had so much I had ecstasy. Not proud of it.
I haven't done it since because I literally was on
the floor. I was like, God, if this the email,
I said, godf I ain't gonna never do it again,
I prob And I'm on the floor like my mama
gonna kill me if I die. Aesthetic guy and I

(10:08):
was just sitting there. I was like damn. Like I
was just like I don't want to die, Like that's
the only thing I remember thinking, like I don't want
to die. I don't want to die, Like I'm not
ready for this. I'm fifteen years old. My life just
started like I'm not ready to die, like and I
was just thinking about my mom. I'm like, if I die,
I'm he's so broken. You know what I'm saying. She's
gonna blame herself if I die, My dad gonna blame herself.

(10:29):
My family like they gonna be her. And so I
started thinking about my siblings. I started thinking about everything. Now,
shit didn't start flashing. I ain't have that moment because
I said, I'm not dying, like you know what I'm saying,
Like people like the people that depend on me and
need me. Yeah, I was thinking about them. I thought
about everybody but myself in that moment. I'm gonna be honest.
And I literally was just talking to that. I was
talking to God and I was just like yo. And

(10:51):
then when I got in the ambulance, they telling me
I got shot in my head. Because they start they're
like is this year here? I'm like, get the funk
over of it. I'm still popping shit. They're like, I'm like,
why are you'll pull on my head? It was like
this ye here. I was like, yeah, I brought it.
They was like, well, they said, you got shot in
your head. And I'm like well, shit, I ain't feel
the one in my back. I started ripping that shit out.
I started ripping that shit out, and then they was up.
You didn't get shot in your head. Now I'm sitting

(11:12):
in the hospital with a fucking mullet. I'm telling you
right now. I had a party in the back. Listen.
I had the you know when the old white men
be bolding at the top, but they still keep their
hair along in the back, crazy like the old Englishman.
That's how my ship was. So I'm just sitting in
the hospital bed looking fried.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
But I woke up when they was.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
I woke up when they did surgery on me and
all that. They did a lot of schoctor surgery. That's
why I have the zipper on me. And I woke
up in between it, and they was like, ohld shoe,
she's up. Because you know, anesthesia doesn't always work the
same for everybody. Sometimes they give you too little. Sometimes
they gave you too much. But doctors try to give
you too little so that they don't, you know, overset
the shoe and kill you. So I woke up a
little bit. But when I see my my stomach open,

(11:49):
I just doze right back out. I remember that, and
I remember waking up, and I remember waking up and
just everybody surrounding me. And you know, they never really
told me like I knew I got shot. They never
told me like you're never gonna walk again. They never
I never had that conversation.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
How long before you realize, I would.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Say, nobody, Like doctors told me, like the word paralyzed
and stuff. But I just how long it took to
accept it and how long it took to know is
two different things. Because everything was such a blur because
you're on all them pain mess like you said, the respirator.
You're on all these things and these machines. And I
didn't want to eat, I didn't want to do anything.

(12:30):
I was like, if God, why would he keep me here?
And I said, why would he keep me here and
make me be.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Like this suffer?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Like that's how I felt.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
People. People don't understand that. Like the hardest thing wasn't
being blind. The hardest thing was like keeping a smile
on my face. That was really my hardest thing. It
wasn't accepting it being blind. It's really finding out who
I am. I'm still that same person I'm not. I
wasn't chasing my vision, Chase saying, who are used to be?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Used to be?

Speaker 1 (13:02):
And that and that will put me in a depression.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
That holds you back so much because before the reason
why we in the wiel Chair community we call it
life day, like if you weren't born this way, so
the day that this happened to you, we call it
life day. So it's not your birthday, but it's the
day that your life really began, the second life. You
know what I mean, school, because none of what I'm saying.
That's what we call it. And I call it a

(13:25):
rebirth because you have to bury the person that you
was before, because you might have to accept that you
will never be that person again.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
Do the same thing.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
And God put you here, and he kept you here
because he wanted you to change, not because he wanted
you to stay the same.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, Ba, at that moment, you don't see it.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Of course, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I know a lot. At that moment, I looked at
it like I'm making everybody help, I'm making everybody else
happy by breathing. I'm not happy.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
I didn't feel that I was. I felt more of anger.
I felt angry.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
At God, I was upset, I was.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I remember in the hospital. I always tell people like
my mom, she was always praying, she had she had
the priest coming, she had holy water, all this shit.
I'm like, I was fucking with her. I was fucking
with my mom bad. And then one night, I kid
you know a lot. I wasn't eating, My heart rate
was just going up and down, my blood pressure was
like you know that little beef it's now and everything like.

(14:18):
So I was been in the hospital for a couple
of days night and then I'm like, I'm hot. I'm hot.
And my mother got a coat on in the hospital
because the ACU on. So you know what I'm saying.
I'm like I'm hot, Like I'm hot, Like Mommy, I'm hot.
And I literally just felt like I was about to go,
you know what I'm saying, And she was like, you
gotta pray. I was like, I can't pray because if
God loved me, why would he do this to me?
You know what I mean? Like I say, he wouldn't

(14:39):
if he cared about me. And at the time before that,
before I got shot, I was angry with God because
my grandmother died. You know, when you were a kid
and you lose the person you loved so much. My
great grandmother had died, and I was just so angry
with God. Since then, from twelve to fifteen, I just
was rebellious and being rebellious towards God and angry. I
wasn't an atheist. I was just angry, you know. And
so when my mom was like, you gotta you gotta pray,

(15:00):
and I literally felt myself dying. So I didn't start
dying in the moment when I got shot. I started
dying in that hospital just not eating, just from not eating,
just from them pumping me up with drugs. You know
what I'm saying, no food, just drugs, and I'm just
laying it and my body not accustomed to this. I'm
not walking, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Don't want to eat. Yeah, So I didn't eat the
whole time, and.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
I was refusing, I was trying. I kept trying to
pull the tubes out. I wasn't trying to take anything.
So I was literally killing myself and I had to pray,
and I started praying it from me. I started getting better.
Next thing, you know, they took the tube out. Then
after that they took me off the drug You know
what I mean like I started getting better. I started
eating on my own, I started talking, I started doing
other stuff because I was just writing. I was so

(15:41):
fucked up. I couldn't even talk like it was fucked up.
It was bad. Yeah, they had everything, and I'm just sitting.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
There like a prayer warrior like as they doing all
of this, and my mind is like, why see your time?
It's like I just kind of like, like I said,
I'm like like he was talking, I said, YA said,
God read my story already right there, Like YA said, Wow,
I'm in this hospital. Why is I'm here? And I

(16:10):
sat there like oh. They were like, I'm like, well,
I guess the devil must be winning? Like why, I said,
could get his ass wet. They looked at me like
I'm crazy. It's like it's six people, and it's six people,
six of us in this hospital and four of us
got shot by the same gun. Mm hmmm, who win
it the devil? I said, what the fun? I said,

(16:30):
will y'all going that? Why y'all ain't showing up? They
looked at me like I was crazy. This chain I
got on that I wear today. I had the chain
on when I got shot and I got it back.
It was bent. They said, they think the bullet hit
it took it off. I popped this ship, I said,
I don't pray to y'all God.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Oh that ship.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
My cousin looking like, oh, we taking you to church.
I'm in a front row, dozing off in the front
just sleep. She hitting me. Wake up, listen to it.
But then it's like I'm hearing the past of talk.
And it's like, damn, did y I tell him I
was coming here today? Because why I feel like he's
talking to me.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yeah, that's that's not the past.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
That's God. I'm like, why do it fel like you're
talking to me? Then it's like, yo, you got a
purpose of living here. People who come to here, they
could write a book by they could write a Bible
about you, like nobody come out with you came. And
I'm like, man, is at the game like this in
y'all world? Because at the end of the day, Oh,
you blessed to be alive? Am I I can't see
my son. My son was one years old when it

(17:28):
gus shut. I'm blessed, y'all. Y'all took away my ability
to drive. Y'all took away my ability my independence. How
is I'm blessed. I was just about to say, you
can't drive, So it's like I'm blessed because I'm here
with y'all. Right, that don't make me happy, Yeah, I
told him that don't make me happy. I've been through
it all, like my trauma. Like I knew when I

(17:49):
was facing trauma is when I woke them and I
didn't want to live no more. I try to commit suicide.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
You tried to kill yourself.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
I took thirty pails and it's like, and the crazy
thing about it, I had it set up to a point.
I know for a fact I didn't want to live
no more. My son supposed to came over. I dubbed it,
I don't know, I'm going out. I don't want them
because I already had my mind set up. I'm checking
out because before this, like and people, I'm a real nigga.
This and the third I got shot that should be lies,

(18:17):
like you really go through it. My mother had to
come over three or four in the morning sometimes because
I had mental breakdowns. But I said, I just want
everybody away for me. I don't want to hurt nobody.
I don't put hands on women that that was never
my character. I didn't choke my brother. I dodn't choke
my sister. I don't beat up cousins. I was on
the road. It's like everything was in front of my
way looked at like a target, like looking like an enemy.

(18:39):
You thought everybody, everybody was an enemy to me because.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
You were stuck in the darkness. And it's not even
about physical.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, and it's like it's hunting me because I can't
see nobody. I'm just hearing voices. So you know, like
that scary movie, like you hear the voices and you're
going crazy and you moving around like I felt that feeling.
I had my son pitch on the wall. I tore down.
My mom looked like, what's wrong. I'm like, I just
want him to stay away. I don't want to hurt him.
I'm hurting everybody around him. I don't want to hurt him.
You really gonna hurt him. I don't know what I'm

(19:08):
capable of doing. So I kept him home. They gave
me some sleep pills because I wasn't sleeping. I left
a voicemail on my I left a voicemail on my phone,
and I left a note like just listen to the
voicemail because I can't explain it to y'all because y'all
gonna try to talk me out of it, y'all gonna
try to do whatever. Boom. I took the pills and

(19:29):
I kep telling to myself, this is what I really
want to do. And as I'm taking it, I'm starting
to feel better because like I'm getting closer and closer
to I'm not suffering no more. Until I took the
pills in there and I like stood up my body
feeling weak because now that the sluggish of the pills
is making me sluggish. But I'm just hearing my son's voice,
hearing him voice like he's like screaming, and then I felt.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
He was there.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Now he wasn't. I'm just hanging it in my head.
I feel when I felt all the pills came out
of me, I stopped thought went up. My cousin Sean
was there. He like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Bro?
I said, Sean, just leave me, Bro. He said, yo.
He grabbing me. He calling I'm trying to snatch the
phone out of his hand. He's like, yo, I said, Sean,

(20:14):
just let me go, Bro, Just let me go, bro,
if you love me, just let me go. Bro. I
don't want to suffer no more. Bro. He called on
one woe. My grandmother came out there. What is wrong?
She crying, and my aunt ran upstairs. She grabbed me
like yo. I'm like, yo, just let me go, y'all.
Damn mans came. They rushed me, hook ivy up and
now they trying to flush it. They looked, They're like,

(20:34):
how many pills? You too? Said the whole bottle. He like,
we don't have no traces of drugs in your system.
I'm like, damn, and my mind is I fucking fell
don tap. I'm like, I'm ready to go home now.
Nigga wanted to go home and Chin, I'm not ready
to go home because like what's next?

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Nigga want to go home?

Speaker 1 (20:52):
And like what's next? They say you ain't going home?
He ain't going home?

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Strap and took me up to that.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
I'm like, nah, sneaking is off, I mean a p
and she opening the door like miss, what are you doing?
She said, I gotta watch you pee And I peed
all on myself because I'm thinking somebody crazy coming behind me.
I'm like, nah, this shit is ain't the life of me.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
But see, let me ask you this. I want to
ask both of y'all. When did y'all know that y'all
was traumatized?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
When did I know I was traumatized? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Oh, I knew I was traumatized when I, like you said,
I kept trying to live the same life. I wouldn't
let go. And a part of being trauma is doing
the same things and expecting the difference. And that's the
part of being insane, you know what I'm saying. I
was driving myself insane, trying to be the same person
I was when I was walking. I knew I was

(21:43):
traumatized when I hear loud noises and I couldn't go
outside on the fourth of July no more because I'm
thinking I'm getting shot at. I knew I was traumatized
when I was just thinking about death and how it
could happen and how it could come. But I wasn't
afraid of it. I just was more so like this
could happen to me. I remember, I knew I was
traumatized when I couldn't go to my friend's baby shower
because they was doing fireworks too close to her baby shower.

(22:05):
And I said I can't go, and nobody understood that.
But that pain of just going through this again, because
it's like, damn, if I get shot again, I live again,
and I lose something else that I really need or
you know what I mean, that I really want.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
I'm not going to.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
That's what I'm saying, Like I'm not trying to like
lose nothing more than what I had. Like I knew
I was traumatized when I stopped going certain places because
I was in fear of what could happen. That's when
I knew I was shamatize shit. I knew I was traumatized,
waking up every day thinking that this ship not real,
thinking that this shit is a joke. I never really

(22:42):
got the chance to show that I was any of
these things because so many people around me was calling
me strong, strong, strong. Here's a news flash. Check on
your strong friends. Check we don't be okay. But if
everybody else around us want to feel sad and feel sorry,
we're not about to sit there and do the same thing.
I never had no other option, had no option to.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
It's hurt behind that smile.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
It's a lot of hurt behind it, her behind that
I think that he want to wake up blind. You
think I want to wake up not walking. It's not
what we want, But this is what we gotta deal with.
It's what we gotta do. At the end of the day.
You're not gonna make me feel no less of myself
because of what my situation is. I wasn't born this way.
He wasn't born that way, and with people who had
to realize it's what could happen to anybody, not just
so so y'all got a humble y'allus when y'all cracking

(23:22):
jokes and making things, God don't make no mistakes bad and.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Try them before I even talk about how then I
know I was traumatized. Every day we wake up as
a battle. Every day we wake up, you gotta push
through to day. It's hard. Some days, I guarantee you
even one of us want to get out that bad.
It's some days some like I hate the fact that
I'm blind and I don't want to live like it's days.
But I got to push through it. I gotta maintain
it because I got a village that's on my back,

(23:49):
that need me. But when I knew, I realized, when
I was traumatized when I hit a balloon, pop, I
hit the floor. I know I was traumatized when I
knew I was traumatized. Every day I wake up, I
said that and said, this is gonna be a day
that I'm gonna see. And I used to tell people
I know, I'm go se today, I'm gonna see tomorrow.
I feel a little light coming in my eyes and
they get quiet. I know. I know I was traumatized

(24:10):
when I didn't want my son around me no more
because I felt like I was a target and I
didn't want my son or my brother because I didn't
want the target to be turned on on. I knew
I was traumatized.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Like it's just fact.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
It's so many different ways I go. Like when I
was at a I'm at a party and they did
a fire crack and I hit the floor and everybody laughed,
and it's like it's not funny, like anybody laugh and
actually picked me and said, yo, you're right. I'm like yeah,
But I try to play it off like as if
I tripped or something, but really inside it felt I
caught that flashback like I was I was about to
get hit again.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
And that's what That's what PTSD is PCSD for those
of you who don't know, it's post traumatic stress disorder,
and a lot of gun violence victims have PTSD, whether
you know it or not. And that's why a lot
of people that go to the army come back and
they have mental illness and mental health problems because they
stayed and heard and been through a lot.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
My first eight nine years I suffered with that ship.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah, I separate from it from a long time until
I went to Atlanta and shout a gun myself. I
feel like that was but well, I don't know. I
don't know if it's safe for you to do that.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Study safe.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
He thinks that shit is like what's that movie now
I see you or some shit.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
I'm nice like that though. I could do it, though,
But trauma that nigga was trained blind. Like trauma had me.
Trauma controlled me. Trauma took me under the water, like
dragged me under the water. And a lot of people
it's like like when I I know I was going
through trauma, when I could be in the front and
I'm laughing, I'm joking with everybody else, but I go
in the bathroom, I take that time and I cry.

(25:44):
It's like I'm highing my trauma from the people, and
not for nothing that that when you hide trauma from people,
that should hurt you even more and really put you
through a battle. Because now you're fighting you bet enough,
you fighting the trauma already. It's like you fighting two
doses of trauma because you fighting the fact that you
I'm in the dark and I'm fighting the fact that
I'm high in being in a dult from the world.

(26:05):
So it's like I was getting my ass shipped from
both angles to a point I was ready to give up.
Like trauma, I wore trauma. I wore trauma for the
first eight years of me being blind. I didn't know
how to come out of this shit. I didn't know
what to do. I didn't know what to turn. I
used to call my grandfather and said, Daddy, I just
need you to pray for me. I'm losing and he
was like, no, you're not. You're still hear and I'm like, yo,

(26:27):
but I'm they whipping my ass. He's like, yo, you
gotta stay in there strong. Nobody can't fight this battle
with you but you. You and a dog. We not,
he said, but best to believe I'm done. My grandfather
told me, I'm don king. I'm on the side of
that rope. I'm cheering you on. And I laughed. I said,
you don king, that mean you robbing men? We laughing,
We joked, But for that moment, I understood what he's saying.

(26:48):
It's like, we could support you, but we can't fight
this trauma. You gotta fight the trauma.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Oh you knew, when it's safe to say, you knew
your trauma was breaking when you tried to kill yourself.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Oh yeah, when I tried to kill myself, That and
the try that Trumpa had got me. It took over me.
I couldn't deal with it no more. My back was
against the wall, and me, being who I am a
strong person, almost checked it checked out. I can't swing
no more. Like everybody know me, I'm a fair, fearless person.

(27:17):
I'm not scared of nothing. I don't bag down for nothing.
I'm a swing if I have to. At that moment,
I was scared. I was scared of the dog. I
was scared of myself. So to claim that back, That's
why I say I'm the king of the dog. To
claim the dog, because the dog had me. I was scared.
I'm waking up to it. I'm going to speak to it.
I'm making love in the dog, I'm crying in the dog,

(27:38):
I'm laughing in the dog. I'm fighting in the dark.
Everything was an adult. It's to a point I didn't
I didn't know who was who around me. Like I
said in a previous episode, I forgot how my brother looked.
Now this is a person that came. We both came
other who the cat. I forgot how my brother looked.
That shit hurts me the most, hurts me the most.

(27:59):
And it's like just when you think and trauma nothing,
I could deal with this. I can hit this through
and that shit swallows you see.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
For me, it's different because I've being shot. Isn't my
only traumatic experience. As we shared on the other episode,
I've been molested. You get what I'm saying. I've been raped.
I've been traumatized before I got into a chair. You
don't see what I'm saying. So I this might have been
the worst trauma. This probably has been the worst trauma.

(28:29):
But there's a lot of other things that I've been through.
So I've always learned how to put it behind me.
You know what I'm saying, And keep going and put
that smile on. So for me, it just shows it's
just crazy because I'm listening to how you said it.
It's just different aspects of how people deal with trauma.
I do on my trauma bay, pretending to just be okay,
and that that's unhealthy. I know. But as I got older,

(28:50):
I started going to therapy. I just recently went to
therapy last year, and I did worlchair groups.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I did.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
I did all of that stuff. I did the worlchair groups.
I spoke and I've been told people, I don't.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Feel like you go ahead therapy.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
I knew trauma broke me when I thought I was okay.
Even when I knew I wasn't, I had to pretend
like I was okay. That's how I knew I was broken.
But I've never I've never thought about suicide. I've never
thought about it because I'm like, because I'm like, this
is what God has play at the end of the day.
God placed me here because once I got in the chairs,

(29:24):
like you know what this is it After I finally
accepted it. However, longed that too, because I told my
I told everybody. I was walking out the hospital when
I ain't walk out the hospital. I'll be walking in
the year when I wasn't walking in the year I
saw every I'll be walking in five and I wasn't
walking in five, I'd be walking out since I just
because I'm not suicidal doesn't mean I don't get depressed.
And that's what That's what it is. I do get
depressed there in there.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Ten years, I'm gonna see it again. When I was
counting down, people don't understand I was counting down. I
kept hearing words in my head in ten years, i'mnna see.
When a ten years came and I didn't see that,
shit broke me to a point. I called my ex
and I was just crying on the phone. What's wrong.
I said, y'all, I'm never gonna see it again? And
she was like, are you serious. I'm like, I'm deserting.
She's like, but you be new this already. I said,

(30:07):
but the doctor told me ten years. She's like, Christopher,
come on, like and know. Another thing is trauma too.
When I keep replaying back that day, what could I
did different? Wow? Which way I could have ran? How
can I dodge these bullets? That's trauma because you reliving
that moment over and over and over, and then after
you finished reliving it and you realize nothing would have changed.

(30:31):
It wouldn't have been different. Like I gotta leave out
of my room to go in the front to a
bigger space to really think, to say, I, I just
got to be this shit in the past. I gotta
leave it in the past before it hurt. I used
to talk about it people like, damn, you strong, bro
this thing and the third. But when I go home,
I got a wine. I just relived that whole moment again.
Now I'm crying in there, and now it's like damn,

(30:53):
I mean, I'm fighting this shit by myself. Now I
can tell my story, I could laugh, I could joke,
and I go home and I'm still filling the same
place I'm But don't control me. I controlled trauma. I
choked that whole.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
I choked that. I feel like with that for me,
as far as controlling and dealing with my trauma, I
I give all of that to God for me because
I knew the moment.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
You give it to God. But don't discredit yourself.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
No, but no, but let me let me tell you
why I said what I said. Because my faith is
so strong. I believe in God to the fullest. You
know what I'm saying, because from the moment that I
literally felt myself dying and the moment I started praying,
He's been saving me. Anytime that there's anything dark in
my life, any type of any type of feeling of
sadness or pain or hurting, or any type of controversy
in my life, all I gotta do is pray. It

(31:42):
may not be the answer I want to hear, but
it's gonna be the answers that I need. And God has
been saved me. He's been putting me through it. And
I can only a credit God to that because God
created all of us, and God created me, and God
gave me the strength to create. My biggest blessing, and
my biggest blessing is my child because if I never
I wouldn't. I could have still had kids, but I
would never had this exact same baby. If I didn't

(32:02):
have my injury. You know what I'm saying, I would
have never met I met my son's father on a cesserade.
You know what I'm saying. I would have never been
on a cesserade. If God's you know what I mean.
So and I fucking hate that nigga. Well God, let's
cut that out. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. I don't know
what came over, But honestly, it's like my son saved
my life because from that moment, it gave me a

(32:23):
purpose and I know a lot of people's friend that
he's literally my biggest joy, even though he's a little
pain in my mass because that little motherfucker got his house.
But when I say, he'd be saying shit that I
know only God could have put on his heart to
tell me, do you want to see what I'm saying?
Like the ship that comes out his mouth. And he's
only six and he's been saying he's been saying immaculate
things since he was a baby. In the way he

(32:45):
loves on me, Like we went out to we went
to the museum and it was a little girl that
we met there and they wanted to hang out the
whole time. So he hung out with the little girl
and she was like, don't be mad, and I woulda
say what's up? She was like why, Like you know,
why are you here? Like are you going to walk again?
And I'm like, you know, I hope so, but I'm
not upset because you know, God is good. And she

(33:05):
was like, well, I like you better walking, and I
know she didn't mean any type of effeens. But my
son came and he had my bag. He was say, well,
I love my mommy and her wiel chair. She's beautiful,
isn't she. She's a princess. And I was like, oh,
you know what I mean. But I know he would
be happy to see me walk into And that's that's
probably the parts where that's that's the part that's kind
of the crazy part with it Trump and plays back

(33:26):
into it because it's certain things where I just want
to do, like I always say, with my kids, just
by myself without anybody, and I got to find a
different way around it. And a lot of the time
sometimes that includes adding other people onto things, and I
don't want to do that shit, cause for the most
part I do everything with him by hisself. But things

(33:46):
that require obviously like water parks and stuff like that,
got to have somebody. We've done the flights by ourselves.
We did that, you know what I mean, But yeah,
we did it. We I got that out the way
it was he was. He loved it. It was smooth
and they're very assistant at the airports for the moment.
As long as you're not flying with spirit. I tell
you about you fly the spirit that's going to be
your spirit.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Spirit helped me out do do that. I fly spirit,
don't do that.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Don't do that flying spirits. If it's like we're going
to like a cl we gotta be like I'm going today.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
That's what I ain't going.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
That's got to be like a quick.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Little little one two hour and a half.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, I still don't even like my last song Overdre
I did, I did American, I can't do in the spirit.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Trauma Chari lives around us, like being in adult and
halving my son. That's trauma because it's things that my
son be one to ask for us to do it,
and then he has stopped and then it's like forget
it because he don't want to make me feel.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
He don't want you to feel it.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
And it's like ship, my son don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
He'll say it, mommy, Mommy, I know you can't do
it because you can't walk. See that's the thing he's
gonna say that. Ship.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Like a couple of weeks ago, I had to break
down because my son. He like, I don't want you
to he fall back from acting me things because he
don't want me to fell away. And then I called
my brother and I cried the phone and I'm screaming, Nigga,
I'm just asking for you to fucking help me. Bro,
Just help me, And he's like, yo, Bro, what do

(35:07):
you yo? Bro? Take them to the park, teach him
how to shoot the part. I can't do it. Help me, Bro,
help me because I don't want my son to get
lost in the streets. Help me, Bro, He like, I
give what you're saying. Bro, I'm gonna be there. That's
all I asks. Bro, Just help me. He like, I
give what you're saying. I said, I man, even if
we can't do it, Bro, I'm gonna figure this shit out.
If I can't do it, somebody gonna do it for us,

(35:29):
Like do not hold back from talking aboudy this that.
And then I just gotta go in the bedroom and
just talk to Gud like God, like you brought me back,
Like my connection started with God. When I got shot.
I was on the floor. I was talking to him
and I just felt like I signed a contract with him,
Like I'm gonna give you lifema. I'm gonna take you
off this floor. But you gotta be my voice. You

(35:50):
gotta be the voice. I was never on positive timing
like this before telling people put guns down. I was
never doing that shit. I'm like that little niggas. A
little nigga can't tell her a nigga what to do.
Th he gonna do whatever he want to do regardless. See.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
No, I think that's a great segue into like because
French you kind of explained it already, but from your perspective,
how did trying to bring you closer to guy?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, so it's like I'm on that floor. Guy. I mean,
it's like I never took to guard and people lied
with it. Oh, I'm a real When I got shot,
when I was on the I'm like, God, this can't
be my life, Like please help me, like get me
off this floor. Like I'm talking to him, but he's
not talking back. He talking, but sometimes like you don't

(36:32):
got to get a response back to know that he's there.
Because I got shot three times, got shot twice in
the head. All right, Friends that got shot in the
arm and died, friends that got shot to toss one
died shot in the Lagan died twice in my head,
he picked me up off the floor to put me
on that stretcher. They was about to take me to
Brookdale for the EMT to go on my wallet and
see I'm the EMT to take me to King's County

(36:55):
three Age Recovery EMT before I got shot?

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Wow? So how did that feel from being the first
and that helped people like person like my life.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Felt like my life got snatch. I worked, I changed
my life to be AMT. I work hard for it.
So when that all happened, I said, God, like, why
the fuck is wasting my time? Not knowing that he
was breaking me down to build me back up to
a person that like I was like I was. I
thought I changed, but I still was the same person.
I still had the same train of thought. I didn't

(37:27):
grow when I thought I did. So when I got shot,
it was God a way of saying, I'm gonna break
you down, but I'm gonna build you the way I
want to build you.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
So that's the word right there. Chris took my vision.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
Now it's like I'm not just talking for the people
that got vision that's home that don't know how to
get out of it. I'm talking to the people. That's
that's that's blind. I say, I'm the voice of the
same because I feel like we left out every day.
I say God, like, if this is what you want
me to do, God like, just guid me, like you don't,
just got me. He'll give me a sign. I get
a d M. This is the reason why I'm doing this. God.

(38:04):
If this ana my son got into the school. My
son he committed to a school, and I said there,
say God, I really don't want to go to this school.
I don't. I'm your voice. I'm doing your work. Just
protect my son and put your hands on my son
because I can't afford it. His God has counsel call
and said p Tech is ready for him. My son
was on the wait unless he was on one hundred.

(38:25):
We pulled the strings. He in p TECH. I'm like like,
now I don't I don't question you God. Even if
you gotta take my blessings off of me and put
it on my child, then I'm here. I'm I'm his sacrifice.
I'm here to do it. So before it was like
I'm living like a demon. Now I'm not scared to

(38:45):
sit and say that God is in me. I believe
in God. I listen to God. I think about things
like that. Even with the podcast, I'm like, God got
me in the right direction, let me know what is what?
And he bought me with I ran through so many
different producers brought me wal Me and Wolf went from
a working relationship to a friendship to family right Like

(39:08):
I could send him with my card knowing that he
ain't gonna do no bullshit. I trust Wolf, like Wolf, God,
my whole rundown, my whole spell. And I never let
a nigga get close to me like that before in
my life. That's God doing. I said, God, let me
know if this is the right thing, like Frenchy being
part of this podcast. Let me know what the right
thing alright? God and I always talk about you like
me and Wolf talking like nah, frenchie, frenchie, hell bro.

(39:31):
She just't like, yeah, the French you got. We just
gotta lock in. And I look at us, we're locking in.
We're strong. It's like we are one two combo. When
Tiho will set up there saying like wait, hold up, brother,
he's blinding you in a wheelchair, like the nigga say,
how y'all mother, feel like nigga feel like. But I
laughed at that ship because no a lot, I'm living
in my purpose.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
No funny shake. God does everything for me.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
And then I look at it like emt right.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
I was hurt.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
I was made. God took that away from me because
it's like, Nigga, you bigger than saving people from New
York City. You saving you saving people across the world.
So why are you tripping over New York City when
you're touching people across the world. Shout out like I said,
rest in peace to mac he. He came to in
and he cried. He hugged me, and I wasn't used
to it. I'm like, what are you crying for? He said, Yo,
you understand. My family didn't understand how I felt until

(40:18):
I put your podcasts on and let them listen to
it what you went through. And I sat there and
my friend was like, damn, bro, the streets is not
your home. No more jump back on the sidewalk. Bro,
It's cool. I think.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
I think this is the perfect segue to get into
our last part, which is how trauma gave y'all purpose.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Trauma gave me purpose because I've been helping people in
different ways. But now I'm able to help people in
the way that God intended me for and asked for
my voice to be heard. I always wondered why it
was always outspoken. I always wonder why I always just
wanted to be on TV. I was always in every
school performance. I was always just being a friend, and
I was always just trying to save everybody. It was.

(40:57):
I put me here because me in this situation, so
that my voice could be heard all over and knock
on a lot. The wheelchair got me through doors that
when I was walking I probably would never get in.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Amen.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
So at the end of the day, I'm grateful I
met some amazing people along the way. My support system
is strong, its thorough. I have an amazing mother every
day because my mother quit her job and worked full
top just to be there with me. You know what
I mean. From the day that I was shot, everything

(41:30):
that I told my mom I wanted to do, she
supported it. My child. She's an amazing grandmother to him.
She had him all week just because she knew this
week was gonna be busy for me and because this
was my fourteenth anniversary of being shot. Shout out to
my mother. I thank God for her every day. I
thank God for my dad as well, because a lot
of people can't even say that they have a father.
My dad took me out on the day that I

(41:51):
got injured, and he was the first person I seen
in that ambulance. He got to the ambulance, he got
to the MDLASS before the Amblians got you know what
I'm saying, Like my dad was on that car with me.
Like I'm grateful for the parents of that that I have.
I'm glad that they put me and instilled in the
confidence that they instilled in me, and that I'm able
to be the person that I have. My purpose is
to be here for the people that I love and
for the people that I love to know that I'm okay,

(42:14):
and for me to show my child like it's my
main old sucker regardless, Like I made shit work and
I ain't letting nothing break me like you said. I
might have been, but I'm not gonna have a baking wills,
big wills, big bag, big money.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
He stopped.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
But yeah, my purpose is just to to help people.
I REALI to use my pain to heal people, to
be frenchy.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, and that's fabulous, that's clap because fourteen years and
were still here fourteen years, fourteen.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
With fifty cents that he got hit like I got
here and here fucking breathing like That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
And the reason why I'm clapping for fourteen years because no,
lock people can't.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
A day it's somebody, it's somebody that just commit suicide.
They were in a chair.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
I can't, it's too much.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
I can't pretend to not know those feelings. And I
can't pretend to know those feelings because I've never wanted
to do that to myself. But I do feel for
you and your for her family, for her life. That's
the tragedy, and suicide is real. Make sure you check
on your strong friends, because she was smiling every day
from the post that I've seen people, your friends, people

(43:23):
loved her so much. Not everybody is built to live
a life that they wasn't born with.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Living in the wheale chair is not the problem. Being
in the dog is not the problem. It's trying to
maintain that same life that you were living as the problem.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
And we still got to do with y'all gotta deal
with because people think we get a sci you're good
that ain't no money.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
I gonna talk about that episode. You're not you gonna
talk about that. But my purpose, my purpose is my son,
like my daughter, my niece, my nephews, my mother. It's
like my my purpose here to be the voice to
motivate people like I motivate. I didn't know I motivate people.

(44:01):
I just thought people just love to hit me talk
until like I start seeing people doing the work when
I talk. My purpose is to keep ain't allowed to
keep people alive. I feel like if I don't speak,
and I wasn't who I was, a lot of I
would have been going to a lot more funerals. I
talk people off that age, Yo, bro, it ain't worth it.

(44:22):
Why you gotta walk around with your gun? They look
people looking at me like yo, since when you start
talking like this. But it's like my purpose for us
to get through this year and next year, like we
gotta live. We gotta talk about this shit ten twenty
thirty years from now to say like we survived it.
We don't got it. We don't got to do this
shit no more that we've been doing with me with kids,
Like my purpose is to save people, to be the

(44:43):
voice that a person that can't speak for hisself. I
am that voice and it's.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Like and also to add on, my purpose is to
show other people in my situation that it's not the end.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
You can survive.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
You could still keep going because look at me, baby,
fourteen years and I still look good. Hell clocke, the
fuck me.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
My purpose is for every blind person out there, to
let them know that you're not in adult not and
you're not a dog by yourself like we all around.
My purpose to show people like disablers do have a voice.
Even if you death mute line in the wheelchairser repose,
it don't matter. You still got a voice. I'm I'm
a child of purpose, like I got a purpose all

(45:25):
over me. But like no I can honestly say say
I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't
for my mother, if it wasn't for my son's man,
my daughter Tana Chloe, my tweety Bird, Boobie Tinky Man,
Woody Sonaria, like my nieces and my nephews, like they
give me life. Days I felt like I can't go

(45:46):
no more, and I just like damn god it like
you brought me as far as just the end and
my niece are busting the door and like your boys's
hair and they jump on my neck and I love you,
Uncle Chris, And I'm like, I can't. I can't leave them,
Like they four years old. They gonna need how wisdom
when they get older to let them know this is
not cool, this is not saved. It like, watch out

(46:07):
for this, stay out the streets. It's okay to be
a sidewalk person. Don't fall to peer of pressure, like
that's my purpose. My son is fourteen, like I gotta
keep my hands up on the back of his neck
to make sure you don't slip through the cracks. That's
my purpose. Like and I'm I'm glad that I'm here
on the I'm here on the catch. Well you ain't

(46:27):
on the couch. You're in your own chair. That's bad,
like Parker right there. But I'm glad they be on
this podcast with you. I'm glad to have with in
my life. That the goal and shit like ever since
how I put the right people around me, my life
been going so much better.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Amen and I share the same sentiments. And we're just
happy that we could be here for the people that
support us and the people that love us.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Don't run from your purpose. Step in that ship, Step
in that ship, step in it. And even if you
can't walk rolling that ship.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
And if you can't stand up, stand out, I always help.
So that's it. And that's another episode.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
BLAM and I C podcast where they can find you
at Frenchie ain't gonna lie Wolf, Wolf make you want
to go back to therapy got you, Trauma, got you
reliving trauma and all that shit everybody got you.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Decide.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
So if this episode really touch you and it helps you,
thank Wolf. We're not taking the credit for this, And make.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Sure to like, share and subscribe because I'm We're happy
that you guys are watching. We're happy that you guys
tell a friend teller friend friend te friend because support
is free. Thank you, Hello and Trauma if you support us.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yeah, it definitely w was you feel me? I feel
so much better. I can smag really mean it and
you can find me out the official Blonde stuff and YC,
or you can just tap into BLA, I S N
y C. We didn each and every Wednesday, and me
and French are about to set up a versus battle.
I'm a dust though. Yeah, you can't now pick your
twenty I picked my twenty on Monica. I'm Brandy, I'm Joasy,

(47:53):
I'm Kcy, I'm joking, I'm I'm all that baby. But
another episode of I Podcasts and we are there, pe.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
That was the good one.