July 24, 2024 • 26 mins
Gina Maier Vincent designed her company, Exquisitely Aligned, to be the destination, empowering her clients to live the life that calls to them. Being no stranger to adversity, Gina shares the passion of our mindset and just how powerful it can be to help us conquer anything this life throws at us. Combine these experiences with our Brain Lady's expertise, it made for such a dynamic conversation we had to put it in two parts.
Connect with Gina:
Connect with Brain Lady Julie
Do you have a great question or topic you'd like Brain Lady Julie to cover? Think you'd be a great guest? Message our producer Kelli@BrainLadySpeaker.com and let us know.
PLEASE NOTE: The information contained in this podcast is not at any time and for any reason meant to replace the guidance and/or treatment of any health professional. Whether it be a medical doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or anyone in the medical field. If you are under the care of such a health professional, remember this is an “added value” and not designed to replace any care you are currently under.
Connect with Gina:
- Online
- Gina@ExquisitelyAligned.com
- 949.409.5330
- Facebook Business
- YouTube
- Podcast
Connect with Brain Lady Julie
Do you have a great question or topic you'd like Brain Lady Julie to cover? Think you'd be a great guest? Message our producer Kelli@BrainLadySpeaker.com and let us know.
PLEASE NOTE: The information contained in this podcast is not at any time and for any reason meant to replace the guidance and/or treatment of any health professional. Whether it be a medical doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or anyone in the medical field. If you are under the care of such a health professional, remember this is an “added value” and not designed to replace any care you are currently under.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Welcome everyone to the brain Lady SpeaksPodcast. I am Julie Brainlady Anderson,
and I am sore with a wonderfulinterview with my friend Gina Meyer Vincent.
I cannot tell you how excited Iam about this. We've had we've met
back and forth at networking events.We connected over she had me as a
(00:29):
guest on her podcast and I waslike, oh, I have to have
her as a guest on the brainLady Speaks because she has such a wealth
of wisdom. So let me introduceyou to Gina Meyer Vincent. She is
a visionary thought leader, a mastermotivator. She's also an inspirational speaker and
author, and an empowerment entrepreneur withamazing messages to share and an amazing experience.
(00:52):
Gina, Welcome to the brain LadySpeak Show. Thank you Julie and
likewise, I mean, it's sofun connecting with you and our time together
on the Exquisitely Aligned show was justI mean, I didn't want it to
end. You're a wealth of information, Your spirit and energy just shines through
your voice, and it's really it'sjust a pleasure to know you and get
(01:15):
to know you even deeper. Everyconversation we have, so thank you,
Oh didto, didto? It's soit's so wonderful when we I mean,
I love talking brain stuff anyways,but it's wonderful when you can not only
have a wonderful conversation with another individualthat is like minded but kind of understands
(01:36):
things, but has such a wonderfulstory, experience and amount of wisdom to
share. Because what we really wantto do on the brain Lady Speaks,
is just help people take kind ofpractical neuroscience stuff and make it or I
should say technical neuroscience stuff and useit practically in their lives. And in
(01:59):
our conversation, you've had experiences whereyou are proof, your husband is proof
of ways that being your own bestadvocate, as well as just really embracing
controlling those thoughts. How all ofthat enhances your life, and it all
(02:23):
has a scientific base, but it'sthat practical application, that real life application.
So let's talk about that. Let'stalk a little bit about your experience.
So you are a New YORKA throughand through. I can't get rid
of it, yes, absolutely.And Mark and I were watching a show
last night and one of the actressesI don't know her name, but she
(02:45):
is so that like I was mimickingher, like, oh I sound so
much better nowadays haha than what shesounds like. But you know, you
put like a listening to her.I'm like, oh, here I go
a coffee and you know, talk, let's talk about it. But yes,
and New Yorker by birth, whothen was relocated to Charlotte, North
(03:07):
Carolina, which felt delightful and nowmore recently Orange County, California and loving
every minute of it being in California. I think we can both agree is
just such a treat. You know. I like to be back by the
ocean again. And I know wetalked a bit about that on the show,
The Healing Energy of the Ocean.Yeah, yeah, and it is.
(03:30):
It's a it's it's mountains, oceanand wonderful people. I know tell
us a little bit. So that'syour your kind of your travel journey.
You've got some you've had some wonderfullife experiences like you. If you go
to her now, her business isexquisitely aligned dot com and I suggest that
(03:53):
everyone visits visit her site, andof course we'll give all the links to
be able to follow and staying connectedwith Gina because she a dynamo and wonderful
to stay and connected with. Butyou have on your website. I was
reading through some of the things,and I love the fact that you have
this thing a little known facts aboutGina, And in there you say your
(04:14):
greatest achievement was the birth of yourson without the need for drugs, and
completing the international adoption of the theirdaughter for which you almost needed drugs exactly.
So you have to give us alittle bit of that story, like
you have your proud mom obviously twochildren, so tell us about your family.
(04:39):
So our son is now twenty two. He just graduated USC here in
LA and he's actually traveling New Zealandright now having fun. And then our
daughter is eighteen. She just graduatedhigh school. So we've had a very
busy spring, exciting spring, lotsof celebration, and she'll be going to
(05:01):
u of A in August the nextmonth, so it's exciting. But I
was very determined twenty two years ago, while being twenty three years ago,
while being pregnant, that I likeas much natural things as possible. And
yes I'm wearing my red lipstick.I know that's not natural. I do
(05:25):
say everything in moderation my father's butI feel or you know, I started
realizing, hey, women have beenhaving babies for centuries, like this is
not unusual, this is not abnormal. I knew I was pregnant. I
wanted to be pregnant. I couldfeel my baby healthily kicking. And to
(05:47):
make the long story short, Iwas fortunate enough to be at a obgyn
practice that had when I started withthem, one midwife, and then by
the time I delivered, were twomidwives. And the first midwife ended up
being who delivered our son. Andshe's the mother of five, so I
(06:08):
felt like I was in really goodhands. Right, she had done this
five times herself, so she couldguide me. And I told my husband
I don't want drugs, you know, and she knew too, and it
was wonderful. Then with my daughter, it was a beautiful you know,
we were very fortunate. Things seemedto be going smoothly. We were adopting
(06:31):
at the time from Guatemala, whichto my knowledge now you international adoptions are
no longer allowed or available from Guatemala. But we were really fortunate. She
was one of the last few childrento be adopted out of the country.
And it was crazy. It's like, you know, you can't. Everything
(06:55):
was out of my control. Itwas no longer my body, it was
everybody else's and jumping through hoops andthings like that. So yeah, there
were moments where I definitely had tohave a nice cocktail or something, you
know, or a piece of chocolateto like make it all all better,
you know, as if that wasthat instant gratification was going to really help
(07:17):
the process. But it did inthe for the thirty seconds that that piece
of chocolate tasted on so flavorfully onmy tongue. But you know it,
I am happy and I was laughingas you said. I've had a lot
of life experiences. I have allgood in the end, you know,
(07:41):
just very I like to say,my life has been a lot of twists
and turns, but it's really forme very magical to have both a son,
a daughter, a biological and adoptedexperience, and yeah, really filled
my cup. And honestly, Julie, when we came back from Guatemala with
her in our arms, I feltlike, okay, that circle is like
(08:07):
you know, like I can't tellyou I would have been devastated to have
just one child, but I reallyjust felt like I was supposed to have
two you know. Yeah, Ilove that. Now let's talk that.
So you had A doing the doingno no drugs is something that you have
(08:28):
to put your brain into. Andyeah, and and b having to deal
with those stress and anxiety that youwent through in the adoption process. How
much do you think, because you'rea very positive person, you're a very
positive energy person, how much doyou feel that your mindset that your thought
(08:50):
process, Because this is something thatI always tell people. Your brain listens
to everything that you are thinking inyour mind right, so you have to
be careful what you're saying or whatyou're thinking because it's going to act accordingly.
How much do you feel that yourmindset set and your positive energy affected
(09:11):
managing through the physical pain of thenatural birth and the emotional pain and stresses
of the adoption. Yeah, yousee how excited I am. I can't
even get the words out because I'mlike, yes, I never got to
speak about this. So I lovethis, Julie one thousand percent, Julie,
(09:33):
and I love that you're asking methis. No one has ever I've
never had the ability to be askedthis, especially with the recording. So
I love this, and you know, I love to talk just like you.
So for me, seeing we didn'tknow what we were going to talk
about exactly, we were like,I don't know, but here it is
perfect. Go ahead, I loveit. This is really you're filling my
(09:54):
cup. So a couple things.By the time I I was pregnant with
my son, I had already starteddoing pilates, which was great for me
personally for that bit of like mindbody connection and control and et cetera.
I was doing reading. Yeah,I hadn't started yoga yet, so I
(10:20):
was reading What to Expect When Expecting. And then there was another book by
doctor Sears and his wife. Ican't remember what it was called, but
it's a very old book, andit was talking about the fact that having
a baby is natural, you know, and I was like, yeah,
this has been going on for centuries, like this is I'm not going to
be the first one having a baby. And by all all the tasks were
(10:43):
showing that everything was in alignment.My body was right, the baby's size,
health was good, and so I, you know, had to start.
I mean, I will tell youthere was a point where I said
to my husband, oh, mygod, I feel like I have an
alien inside me. This is,you know, like just a weird feeling
(11:05):
like how much space is this persongoing to take up? You know?
And we chose not to know wewere having a son. I wanted there
to be something fun to be announcedat the end of labor, and I
would definitely do that again because itwas fun. Of course, it made
a challenging for everybody who wanted tobuy a gift, but that was what
I felt was like really the priority. They may have disagreed, but it
(11:31):
was very much wrapping my mind,and I agree with you. It's our
mind is such a magical and forme mystical because I don't have all the
training and the not the wealth ofinformation that you have, but I have
it from you know. Now we'retalking twenty three years later, twenty two
years later. My son is sixfoot four. But uh, and I
(11:56):
had in the meantime started practicing yogaand then teaching it and so forth,
and now working with women and menfor mindset. It is it's like telling
a child to do something and thechild cannot discern if it's the correct or
it is not correct, right.So if it's like eat a thousand cookies
(12:18):
and the kid will just eat athousand cookies till they're sick to the stomach.
Right, But we don't realize justhow much power we have in our
voice and how much power we havein our beliefs. And I love that
when you were on my show,you were able to explain all of that
(12:39):
in the technical terms. But fromjust my two cents, you know,
it was me wrapping around that Iam with the right people. I had
a beautiful midwife who had delivered fiveof our own children with plenty of knowledge.
I was in a hospital, soif we needed an obi or surgery,
(13:03):
it was it would have happened withinminutes. Thankfully that's not what we
needed. And then same thing withmy daughter. It was like I realized
it's almost easier to give birth thanto adopt, because at least the child
after forty weeks or so, theywould like go in and you know,
bring the baby out, like theretoo long, you're cooked, you're ready,
(13:26):
come out. Where adoption it waslike there was no there was no
end in sight, and there wasa point where we were told we could
come to Guatemala and she should belegally free to be adopted and then at
the last minute, no, there'sa piece of paper missing, and it's
like, wait, you know,I was just on the phone with the
(13:50):
airlines, and so it was reallykind of me learning how to play these
games. I mean, I wantto use to our games, but how
to I would be like, Okay, I don't know when I'm going to
Guatemala, so what's the opposite,And I use these sixty I don't know
if I showed you this last time, but these sixty second hourglass egg timers
(14:15):
with clients, because that's how Ihelped myself. At this point with my
daughter, I was practicing yoga,so I was very much into more the
awareness of mindset. Again, notthe technical part, but the awareness,
which I think is you know,a great place to start. The awareness
(14:37):
was in those sixty seconds. Icould realize, I'm one day closer to
how coming home. You know thatIt's like being in down dog, downward
facing dog. The world is upsidedown, So what's the opposite, Like,
oh my god, another day,No, I'm one day closer.
So every time we went to sella house after that, I was like,
(15:00):
we're one day closer to the newowner moving in. You know,
we're one day closer to me gettingmy money back and buying my next house
or whatever that was. And Ithink it was kind of like playing tricks
or games with myself to find aplace where I could put myself at ease
(15:22):
and breathe and meditate and be gratefuland thankful that I am going to be
a mom soon. And you know, go out for coffee now. I'm
not a coffee drinker, but like, meet up with a friend now,
because soon you're going to have anewborn in you know, a baby like
you know, so you start thinkinglike, once she is home, she's
(15:46):
going to be here forever. Sodo I have an errorand I need to
run? Do should I catch upwith a friend I haven't seen? And
yeah, it was like playing thesesilly mind games. Yeah they're good mind
games, right, They're good mindgames because that and that's that's so much
a part of what happens when weare in an anxious moment, whether it's
(16:08):
a physically anxious moment or it's anemotionally anxious moment, we lose the ability
to think because literally the energy,the oxygen, the all of this starts
to the prefrontal cortex. Which iswhere we do all this higher thinking.
It all of a sudden decides,oh, I'm I don't have the energy
anymore because that emotion center, thatlimbic system has set down all that energy.
(16:32):
And now you're just now you're justacting on animal instincts more or less.
Right, You're just you're not ableto think. So by taking I
love your little timer there, youknow, by taking just even just sixty
seconds. And for me, Ialways tell people take that nice deep breath
because that deep breath is going toraise the oxygen level to your brain and
then really start to think. Think, Okay, wait to miss you know,
(16:53):
what's the positives or you know,for you it was I'm one day
closer. And in any situation,high stress situation, then you're able to
go, Okay, what's the nextstep I need to take? Yeah?
Right, this may be where I'mat, but this doesn't mean this is
where I have to be forever.Correct. Right, Let's let's think about
so that that re engaging the brainis so incredibly important. Now, that's
(17:18):
that's beautiful. And eventually you didobviously get your daughter and you were able
to just hold her in your arms, yes, and embrace that and raise
a beautiful, beautiful daughter who isnow graduating and moving on. That's wonderful.
Congratulations on that. But now,this was not the only time when
you had to utilize who are justwe're just digging into all a Gena's stuff.
(17:47):
This was not the only time thatyou had to utilize some of this
mind over emotion kind of type thingin your in your life because you had
a very serious health crisis come upwith your husband. Correct, yes,
and so that was there more.I didn't mean to interrupt, No,
(18:07):
that was yeah, that's my question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No. So on the heels ofadopting our daughter, you know,
my I just felt like I hadeverything I wanted to achieve. You know,
I think growing up we all havethese dreams and aspirations. Everyone's different.
But mine was to wear that whitewedding gown, marry you know,
(18:30):
the ideal man for me, andI have kids and a couple of cats.
So I did that. I hadnow my son, daughter, two
cats, this wonderful husband, andlife was really good and I just was
kind of in my glory and veryvery grateful. You know. Of course
I had more dreams to travel,bring my kids show them other places.
(18:52):
But on the heels of bringing Sonyahome, she came home. It was
around Halloween of two thousand six,the year she was born. And right
after that, I think it wasJanuary two thousand and seven, Mark had
an annual exam and he was toldhis kidneys were really declining quickly. And
this was a I'll back it upa little bit, but this was an
(19:15):
hereditary disease that his mom lost herlife to call polycystic kidney polycystic liver PKDPLD.
And his mom was in her earlysixties, so we just assumed that
this would not be an issue forhim, although he had signs when we
got engaged that he told me aboutthat this would not be an issue until
(19:37):
he was in his sixties. Butlife was very different. And you know,
here I have this very young child, you know, our son's a
toddler. It was like crazy andit was really like having the rug pulled
out from underneath us. What wenton. What was the biggest challenge is
(19:59):
the doctor who wanted the hospital tohelp us. His employee sent the information
and the hospital claims they never receivedit. And they kept telling me,
oh, no, it's coming,it's coming. This went on for months,
so much so that we lost littlemore than six months in just argument
(20:21):
of where is this file. We'reso busy, the file is in the
pile, we'll get to it.Well, it was not in the pile.
It never it either got lost,not sent anyway, neither here nor
there. But that should have beenmy first sign that this is not the
right place. And I you know, when you're in panic mode like you
(20:41):
were talking about, and you're justlike, no, I need help,
raising the hande, we need help, we need help. And at this
point our son was now going tokindergarten. Sonya was two, and Mark
was living on dialysis because they hadour local hospital finally got him in and
they had removed both his kidneys sohe could no longer urinate. Oh my
(21:04):
goodness, like crazy, just toeven be saying to you. At the
time it was like normal. Butnow when I say this to you,
I realized just how sing this wholeprocess was. And we were living in
Charlotte at the time, and sohe was to get my right kidney.
I was a good match. Heis the universal recipient of organs and blood
(21:29):
AB negative, which is extremely rare. And things went wrong. Let's just
say that he was now in liverfailure from that first surgery when they removed
the kidneys because they helped his liverand it set him into liver failure.
And here I am again, akindergartener and a two year old just screaming
(21:51):
like an Italian New York regime.See me, hear me? Like he
needs help. And the other thingI think about our brain is like the
intuition as a woman, right,we have this maybe instinct and maybe it's
not from the brain, but however, wherever it comes from, I'll let
(22:14):
you tell me, but teach meand then I'll teach others. So thank
you. But I think that Ihad to become this or I know I
had to really step up and becomethis advocate, and this advocate became this
bigger thing. At that point,it was really just help my husband.
(22:37):
Stop being just insurance. Our rules, This is how we do we don't
like I remember I asked them foran appointment where I said, I'll be
available anytime a day. You tellme five am, ten pm, whatever.
Can we just have Mark's team ina meeting so I can comprehend what,
(23:00):
like who's doing what? They said, no, we don't do that.
Oh no, you don't tell itItalian New York or that. Well,
I honestly thought I was. I'mold enough to remember Candid Camera.
And then I realized, okay,no, cant camera is not around.
This must be punped, you knowwith I can't think of his name.
(23:22):
So I'm waiting for sure, right, I'm waiting for him to like open
the door with the cameras and likewe got you, and that didn't happen,
and so I I like asked againbecause I thought maybe he misunderstood what
I was asking, Like, I'mnot asking for the entire hospital staff.
I'm just asking for the people whoare all working on Mark that we have
(23:45):
one conversation because I don't want togive him my kidney. I believe he's
in liver failure and I'm not goingto give a good, healthy kidney to
someone who is in liver failure becausethe kidney is not going to help.
And at that moment when he saidno, we don't do this, that's
when I realized, like, weneed to get out of here, and
(24:07):
we need to get out of herefast, and I need to figure out
how on earth do I do thatwhen you know this team of doctors really
not that he was a hostage,right, but he's in there care and
I need to get him like released. And I realize now right now it's
twenty twenty four, this was intwo thousand and nine. Like that's what
(24:33):
I do for a living, isI help people who have been stuck in
status quo be released from you know, from that mindset, from that whether
it be their own or someone else's, the house they grew up in,
the religious beliefs. But it's it'shard, it's not easy, for sure.
(24:56):
So you were able to then advocatewell enough for yourself. You engage
that prefrontal cortex, obviously we're ableto like get going and problem solve the
situation. Did you do did you? Did you just after you went home
and cried? Did you did you? Did you like really sit down and
(25:18):
do some meditation and try to geta hold of your brain or like what
what did that look like? Becausea lot of in those moments, I
mean, you've got a husband thathas no kidneys, you have his liver
is failing. I mean, mostpeople in this situation would just give into
that that emotion, but you wereable to and I'm not saying that there's
anything wrong with them, please understandfor but what we're trying to highlight here
(25:45):
is if you are faced with somethinga situation that seems like a no win
situation, how do you mentally getyourself in a place where you take control
of your brain and you're like,Okay, wait a minute, I know
I have the ability to think thisthrough. How do I do this?
Yeah? That will wrap up partone of this episode of brain Lady Speaks.
(26:10):
Make sure to come back next weekfor part two as we conclude our
conversation with Gina, and please showus some podcast love and like and share
and review our brain Lady if youhaven't already. Have a great week,
and remember, as our brain Ladyreminds us, take a deep breath in,
go out there, and simply enjoyevery moment. See you next week.
Welcome everyone to the brain Lady SpeaksPodcast. I am Julie Brainlady Anderson,
and I am sore with a wonderfulinterview with my friend Gina Meyer Vincent.
I cannot tell you how excited Iam about this. We've had we've met
back and forth at networking events.We connected over she had me as a
(00:29):
guest on her podcast and I waslike, oh, I have to have
her as a guest on the brainLady Speaks because she has such a wealth
of wisdom. So let me introduceyou to Gina Meyer Vincent. She is
a visionary thought leader, a mastermotivator. She's also an inspirational speaker and
author, and an empowerment entrepreneur withamazing messages to share and an amazing experience.
(00:52):
Gina, Welcome to the brain LadySpeak Show. Thank you Julie and
likewise, I mean, it's sofun connecting with you and our time together
on the Exquisitely Aligned show was justI mean, I didn't want it to
end. You're a wealth of information, Your spirit and energy just shines through
your voice, and it's really it'sjust a pleasure to know you and get
(01:15):
to know you even deeper. Everyconversation we have, so thank you,
Oh didto, didto? It's soit's so wonderful when we I mean,
I love talking brain stuff anyways,but it's wonderful when you can not only
have a wonderful conversation with another individualthat is like minded but kind of understands
(01:36):
things, but has such a wonderfulstory, experience and amount of wisdom to
share. Because what we really wantto do on the brain Lady Speaks,
is just help people take kind ofpractical neuroscience stuff and make it or I
should say technical neuroscience stuff and useit practically in their lives. And in
(01:59):
our conversation, you've had experiences whereyou are proof, your husband is proof
of ways that being your own bestadvocate, as well as just really embracing
controlling those thoughts. How all ofthat enhances your life, and it all
(02:23):
has a scientific base, but it'sthat practical application, that real life application.
So let's talk about that. Let'stalk a little bit about your experience.
So you are a New YORKA throughand through. I can't get rid
of it, yes, absolutely.And Mark and I were watching a show
last night and one of the actressesI don't know her name, but she
(02:45):
is so that like I was mimickingher, like, oh I sound so
much better nowadays haha than what shesounds like. But you know, you
put like a listening to her.I'm like, oh, here I go
a coffee and you know, talk, let's talk about it. But yes,
and New Yorker by birth, whothen was relocated to Charlotte, North
(03:07):
Carolina, which felt delightful and nowmore recently Orange County, California and loving
every minute of it being in California. I think we can both agree is
just such a treat. You know. I like to be back by the
ocean again. And I know wetalked a bit about that on the show,
The Healing Energy of the Ocean.Yeah, yeah, and it is.
(03:30):
It's a it's it's mountains, oceanand wonderful people. I know tell
us a little bit. So that'syour your kind of your travel journey.
You've got some you've had some wonderfullife experiences like you. If you go
to her now, her business isexquisitely aligned dot com and I suggest that
(03:53):
everyone visits visit her site, andof course we'll give all the links to
be able to follow and staying connectedwith Gina because she a dynamo and wonderful
to stay and connected with. Butyou have on your website. I was
reading through some of the things,and I love the fact that you have
this thing a little known facts aboutGina, And in there you say your
(04:14):
greatest achievement was the birth of yourson without the need for drugs, and
completing the international adoption of the theirdaughter for which you almost needed drugs exactly.
So you have to give us alittle bit of that story, like
you have your proud mom obviously twochildren, so tell us about your family.
(04:39):
So our son is now twenty two. He just graduated USC here in
LA and he's actually traveling New Zealandright now having fun. And then our
daughter is eighteen. She just graduatedhigh school. So we've had a very
busy spring, exciting spring, lotsof celebration, and she'll be going to
(05:01):
u of A in August the nextmonth, so it's exciting. But I
was very determined twenty two years ago, while being twenty three years ago,
while being pregnant, that I likeas much natural things as possible. And
yes I'm wearing my red lipstick.I know that's not natural. I do
(05:25):
say everything in moderation my father's butI feel or you know, I started
realizing, hey, women have beenhaving babies for centuries, like this is
not unusual, this is not abnormal. I knew I was pregnant. I
wanted to be pregnant. I couldfeel my baby healthily kicking. And to
(05:47):
make the long story short, Iwas fortunate enough to be at a obgyn
practice that had when I started withthem, one midwife, and then by
the time I delivered, were twomidwives. And the first midwife ended up
being who delivered our son. Andshe's the mother of five, so I
(06:08):
felt like I was in really goodhands. Right, she had done this
five times herself, so she couldguide me. And I told my husband
I don't want drugs, you know, and she knew too, and it
was wonderful. Then with my daughter, it was a beautiful you know,
we were very fortunate. Things seemedto be going smoothly. We were adopting
(06:31):
at the time from Guatemala, whichto my knowledge now you international adoptions are
no longer allowed or available from Guatemala. But we were really fortunate. She
was one of the last few childrento be adopted out of the country.
And it was crazy. It's like, you know, you can't. Everything
(06:55):
was out of my control. Itwas no longer my body, it was
everybody else's and jumping through hoops andthings like that. So yeah, there
were moments where I definitely had tohave a nice cocktail or something, you
know, or a piece of chocolateto like make it all all better,
you know, as if that wasthat instant gratification was going to really help
(07:17):
the process. But it did inthe for the thirty seconds that that piece
of chocolate tasted on so flavorfully onmy tongue. But you know it,
I am happy and I was laughingas you said. I've had a lot
of life experiences. I have allgood in the end, you know,
(07:41):
just very I like to say,my life has been a lot of twists
and turns, but it's really forme very magical to have both a son,
a daughter, a biological and adoptedexperience, and yeah, really filled
my cup. And honestly, Julie, when we came back from Guatemala with
her in our arms, I feltlike, okay, that circle is like
(08:07):
you know, like I can't tellyou I would have been devastated to have
just one child, but I reallyjust felt like I was supposed to have
two you know. Yeah, Ilove that. Now let's talk that.
So you had A doing the doingno no drugs is something that you have
(08:28):
to put your brain into. Andyeah, and and b having to deal
with those stress and anxiety that youwent through in the adoption process. How
much do you think, because you'rea very positive person, you're a very
positive energy person, how much doyou feel that your mindset that your thought
(08:50):
process, Because this is something thatI always tell people. Your brain listens
to everything that you are thinking inyour mind right, so you have to
be careful what you're saying or whatyou're thinking because it's going to act accordingly.
How much do you feel that yourmindset set and your positive energy affected
(09:11):
managing through the physical pain of thenatural birth and the emotional pain and stresses
of the adoption. Yeah, yousee how excited I am. I can't
even get the words out because I'mlike, yes, I never got to
speak about this. So I lovethis, Julie one thousand percent, Julie,
(09:33):
and I love that you're asking methis. No one has ever I've
never had the ability to be askedthis, especially with the recording. So
I love this, and you know, I love to talk just like you.
So for me, seeing we didn'tknow what we were going to talk
about exactly, we were like,I don't know, but here it is
perfect. Go ahead, I loveit. This is really you're filling my
(09:54):
cup. So a couple things.By the time I I was pregnant with
my son, I had already starteddoing pilates, which was great for me
personally for that bit of like mindbody connection and control and et cetera.
I was doing reading. Yeah,I hadn't started yoga yet, so I
(10:20):
was reading What to Expect When Expecting. And then there was another book by
doctor Sears and his wife. Ican't remember what it was called, but
it's a very old book, andit was talking about the fact that having
a baby is natural, you know, and I was like, yeah,
this has been going on for centuries, like this is I'm not going to
be the first one having a baby. And by all all the tasks were
(10:43):
showing that everything was in alignment.My body was right, the baby's size,
health was good, and so I, you know, had to start.
I mean, I will tell youthere was a point where I said
to my husband, oh, mygod, I feel like I have an
alien inside me. This is,you know, like just a weird feeling
(11:05):
like how much space is this persongoing to take up? You know?
And we chose not to know wewere having a son. I wanted there
to be something fun to be announcedat the end of labor, and I
would definitely do that again because itwas fun. Of course, it made
a challenging for everybody who wanted tobuy a gift, but that was what
I felt was like really the priority. They may have disagreed, but it
(11:31):
was very much wrapping my mind,and I agree with you. It's our
mind is such a magical and forme mystical because I don't have all the
training and the not the wealth ofinformation that you have, but I have
it from you know. Now we'retalking twenty three years later, twenty two
years later. My son is sixfoot four. But uh, and I
(11:56):
had in the meantime started practicing yogaand then teaching it and so forth,
and now working with women and menfor mindset. It is it's like telling
a child to do something and thechild cannot discern if it's the correct or
it is not correct, right.So if it's like eat a thousand cookies
(12:18):
and the kid will just eat athousand cookies till they're sick to the stomach.
Right, But we don't realize justhow much power we have in our
voice and how much power we havein our beliefs. And I love that
when you were on my show,you were able to explain all of that
(12:39):
in the technical terms. But fromjust my two cents, you know,
it was me wrapping around that Iam with the right people. I had
a beautiful midwife who had delivered fiveof our own children with plenty of knowledge.
I was in a hospital, soif we needed an obi or surgery,
(13:03):
it was it would have happened withinminutes. Thankfully that's not what we
needed. And then same thing withmy daughter. It was like I realized
it's almost easier to give birth thanto adopt, because at least the child
after forty weeks or so, theywould like go in and you know,
bring the baby out, like theretoo long, you're cooked, you're ready,
(13:26):
come out. Where adoption it waslike there was no there was no
end in sight, and there wasa point where we were told we could
come to Guatemala and she should belegally free to be adopted and then at
the last minute, no, there'sa piece of paper missing, and it's
like, wait, you know,I was just on the phone with the
(13:50):
airlines, and so it was reallykind of me learning how to play these
games. I mean, I wantto use to our games, but how
to I would be like, Okay, I don't know when I'm going to
Guatemala, so what's the opposite,And I use these sixty I don't know
if I showed you this last time, but these sixty second hourglass egg timers
(14:15):
with clients, because that's how Ihelped myself. At this point with my
daughter, I was practicing yoga,so I was very much into more the
awareness of mindset. Again, notthe technical part, but the awareness,
which I think is you know,a great place to start. The awareness
(14:37):
was in those sixty seconds. Icould realize, I'm one day closer to
how coming home. You know thatIt's like being in down dog, downward
facing dog. The world is upsidedown, So what's the opposite, Like,
oh my god, another day,No, I'm one day closer.
So every time we went to sella house after that, I was like,
(15:00):
we're one day closer to the newowner moving in. You know,
we're one day closer to me gettingmy money back and buying my next house
or whatever that was. And Ithink it was kind of like playing tricks
or games with myself to find aplace where I could put myself at ease
(15:22):
and breathe and meditate and be gratefuland thankful that I am going to be
a mom soon. And you know, go out for coffee now. I'm
not a coffee drinker, but like, meet up with a friend now,
because soon you're going to have anewborn in you know, a baby like
you know, so you start thinkinglike, once she is home, she's
(15:46):
going to be here forever. Sodo I have an errorand I need to
run? Do should I catch upwith a friend I haven't seen? And
yeah, it was like playing thesesilly mind games. Yeah they're good mind
games, right, They're good mindgames because that and that's that's so much
a part of what happens when weare in an anxious moment, whether it's
(16:08):
a physically anxious moment or it's anemotionally anxious moment, we lose the ability
to think because literally the energy,the oxygen, the all of this starts
to the prefrontal cortex. Which iswhere we do all this higher thinking.
It all of a sudden decides,oh, I'm I don't have the energy
anymore because that emotion center, thatlimbic system has set down all that energy.
(16:32):
And now you're just now you're justacting on animal instincts more or less.
Right, You're just you're not ableto think. So by taking I
love your little timer there, youknow, by taking just even just sixty
seconds. And for me, Ialways tell people take that nice deep breath
because that deep breath is going toraise the oxygen level to your brain and
then really start to think. Think, Okay, wait to miss you know,
(16:53):
what's the positives or you know,for you it was I'm one day
closer. And in any situation,high stress situation, then you're able to
go, Okay, what's the nextstep I need to take? Yeah?
Right, this may be where I'mat, but this doesn't mean this is
where I have to be forever.Correct. Right, Let's let's think about
so that that re engaging the brainis so incredibly important. Now, that's
(17:18):
that's beautiful. And eventually you didobviously get your daughter and you were able
to just hold her in your arms, yes, and embrace that and raise
a beautiful, beautiful daughter who isnow graduating and moving on. That's wonderful.
Congratulations on that. But now,this was not the only time when
you had to utilize who are justwe're just digging into all a Gena's stuff.
(17:47):
This was not the only time thatyou had to utilize some of this
mind over emotion kind of type thingin your in your life because you had
a very serious health crisis come upwith your husband. Correct, yes,
and so that was there more.I didn't mean to interrupt, No,
(18:07):
that was yeah, that's my question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No. So on the heels ofadopting our daughter, you know,
my I just felt like I hadeverything I wanted to achieve. You know,
I think growing up we all havethese dreams and aspirations. Everyone's different.
But mine was to wear that whitewedding gown, marry you know,
(18:30):
the ideal man for me, andI have kids and a couple of cats.
So I did that. I hadnow my son, daughter, two
cats, this wonderful husband, andlife was really good and I just was
kind of in my glory and veryvery grateful. You know. Of course
I had more dreams to travel,bring my kids show them other places.
(18:52):
But on the heels of bringing Sonyahome, she came home. It was
around Halloween of two thousand six,the year she was born. And right
after that, I think it wasJanuary two thousand and seven, Mark had
an annual exam and he was toldhis kidneys were really declining quickly. And
this was a I'll back it upa little bit, but this was an
(19:15):
hereditary disease that his mom lost herlife to call polycystic kidney polycystic liver PKDPLD.
And his mom was in her earlysixties, so we just assumed that
this would not be an issue forhim, although he had signs when we
got engaged that he told me aboutthat this would not be an issue until
(19:37):
he was in his sixties. Butlife was very different. And you know,
here I have this very young child, you know, our son's a
toddler. It was like crazy andit was really like having the rug pulled
out from underneath us. What wenton. What was the biggest challenge is
(19:59):
the doctor who wanted the hospital tohelp us. His employee sent the information
and the hospital claims they never receivedit. And they kept telling me,
oh, no, it's coming,it's coming. This went on for months,
so much so that we lost littlemore than six months in just argument
(20:21):
of where is this file. We'reso busy, the file is in the
pile, we'll get to it.Well, it was not in the pile.
It never it either got lost,not sent anyway, neither here nor
there. But that should have beenmy first sign that this is not the
right place. And I you know, when you're in panic mode like you
(20:41):
were talking about, and you're justlike, no, I need help,
raising the hande, we need help, we need help. And at this
point our son was now going tokindergarten. Sonya was two, and Mark
was living on dialysis because they hadour local hospital finally got him in and
they had removed both his kidneys sohe could no longer urinate. Oh my
(21:04):
goodness, like crazy, just toeven be saying to you. At the
time it was like normal. Butnow when I say this to you,
I realized just how sing this wholeprocess was. And we were living in
Charlotte at the time, and sohe was to get my right kidney.
I was a good match. Heis the universal recipient of organs and blood
(21:29):
AB negative, which is extremely rare. And things went wrong. Let's just
say that he was now in liverfailure from that first surgery when they removed
the kidneys because they helped his liverand it set him into liver failure.
And here I am again, akindergartener and a two year old just screaming
(21:51):
like an Italian New York regime.See me, hear me? Like he
needs help. And the other thingI think about our brain is like the
intuition as a woman, right,we have this maybe instinct and maybe it's
not from the brain, but however, wherever it comes from, I'll let
(22:14):
you tell me, but teach meand then I'll teach others. So thank
you. But I think that Ihad to become this or I know I
had to really step up and becomethis advocate, and this advocate became this
bigger thing. At that point,it was really just help my husband.
(22:37):
Stop being just insurance. Our rules, This is how we do we don't
like I remember I asked them foran appointment where I said, I'll be
available anytime a day. You tellme five am, ten pm, whatever.
Can we just have Mark's team ina meeting so I can comprehend what,
(23:00):
like who's doing what? They said, no, we don't do that.
Oh no, you don't tell itItalian New York or that. Well,
I honestly thought I was. I'mold enough to remember Candid Camera.
And then I realized, okay,no, cant camera is not around.
This must be punped, you knowwith I can't think of his name.
(23:22):
So I'm waiting for sure, right, I'm waiting for him to like open
the door with the cameras and likewe got you, and that didn't happen,
and so I I like asked againbecause I thought maybe he misunderstood what
I was asking, Like, I'mnot asking for the entire hospital staff.
I'm just asking for the people whoare all working on Mark that we have
(23:45):
one conversation because I don't want togive him my kidney. I believe he's
in liver failure and I'm not goingto give a good, healthy kidney to
someone who is in liver failure becausethe kidney is not going to help.
And at that moment when he saidno, we don't do this, that's
when I realized, like, weneed to get out of here, and
(24:07):
we need to get out of herefast, and I need to figure out
how on earth do I do thatwhen you know this team of doctors really
not that he was a hostage,right, but he's in there care and
I need to get him like released. And I realize now right now it's
twenty twenty four, this was intwo thousand and nine. Like that's what
(24:33):
I do for a living, isI help people who have been stuck in
status quo be released from you know, from that mindset, from that whether
it be their own or someone else's, the house they grew up in,
the religious beliefs. But it's it'shard, it's not easy, for sure.
(24:56):
So you were able to then advocatewell enough for yourself. You engage
that prefrontal cortex, obviously we're ableto like get going and problem solve the
situation. Did you do did you? Did you just after you went home
and cried? Did you did you? Did you like really sit down and
(25:18):
do some meditation and try to geta hold of your brain or like what
what did that look like? Becausea lot of in those moments, I
mean, you've got a husband thathas no kidneys, you have his liver
is failing. I mean, mostpeople in this situation would just give into
that that emotion, but you wereable to and I'm not saying that there's
anything wrong with them, please understandfor but what we're trying to highlight here
(25:45):
is if you are faced with somethinga situation that seems like a no win
situation, how do you mentally getyourself in a place where you take control
of your brain and you're like,Okay, wait a minute, I know
I have the ability to think thisthrough. How do I do this?
Yeah? That will wrap up partone of this episode of brain Lady Speaks.
(26:10):
Make sure to come back next weekfor part two as we conclude our
conversation with Gina, and please showus some podcast love and like and share
and review our brain Lady if youhaven't already. Have a great week,
and remember, as our brain Ladyreminds us, take a deep breath in,
go out there, and simply enjoyevery moment. See you next week.
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