July 18, 2025 • 19 mins
The saying goes "Expectation leads to disappointment, which leads to suffering". Yes but how do we deal with those feelings? How do we push past those complicated emotions because it is hard to go through life without becoming attached to the things we care about most? Breath, my friend. It is through the breath. One breath at a time.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to mindful meditations with Calm the bleep down once again.
I'm your guide, Michael Beckameier, and today we are going
to let go of our expectations. Let's get started. As always,
(00:30):
we have a mindfulness quote to help get us started
into our meditation, and today's quote is from Shri Chinmoy.
Paradise is not a place, it is a state of consciousness.
(00:51):
I went looking for a couple of quotes about expectation
because I personally had a a disappointment, a professional career
disappointment recently, and I was bummed about it. And you know,
(01:14):
the more you practice mindfulness or meditation, that you see
the things that you're that are happening to you. You
see them, you're aware of them. You start to recognize them,
but it doesn't really stop you from feeling them. Sometimes
you have to be feeling or thinking a thing and
then recognize it and then you can start to deal
(01:37):
with it. It really is when something doesn't go your way,
or when you expect something or you really want something
to happen and then it doesn't. It's so easy to
crash down from them because we set ourselves up up
(02:01):
for the big high and then the big high doesn't happen.
When the big high doesn't happen, it's like a punch
in the gut, right, And it happens to everybody. It
happens to all of us. But I've seen so many times,
and I have felt so many times in my own
life that I've felt those disappointments really take the wind
(02:28):
out of my sails, and it is it takes a
long time to recover from them because you start to
believe the lie of the disappointment. You think, oh, this
didn't happen, or go my way because I'm unlucky, nobody
likes me, I'm cursed, all of those things you start
(02:51):
to believe in over time, if you let those disappointments
add up, like I have done in my own life
over time, if you let those disappointments add up up,
and you start to believe that how you feel about
the disappointment is true, You're only going to see more
and more disappointment because you stop trying. That's how I
(03:17):
have felt in my life over disappointment, not always, and
not not as much recently, but earlier in younger, when
I was younger, even all the way to one night ago,
so it's normal to have those feelings, it's normal to
react that way. It is our mind, it is our
(03:39):
ego spinning as we process the information. But it's not true.
So whatever you've been dealing with in your life, whatever
it is, we all have disappointments. We all have things
that don't go the way we expect it or the
(03:59):
way we wanted them to. But if you're not careful,
if we are not careful, we can very easily only
ever see the disappointment and we don't see the things
where things do go our way because those things don't
stand out as much. Finally something went my way. That's
kind of how I used to see it. Finally something
(04:22):
went my way. That's one out of ten, you know,
And I never really let myself be satisfied with the
good things that did happen. I also find myself when
I'm in that state of mind, it's really hard to
be grateful for things like it's losing sight of grade
(04:43):
of gratitude and losing sight of abundance. When you start
to identify with only the disappointments, then you start to
expect the disappointments, and then when things do go not
your way, things end up not going your way. You
(05:05):
It's like confirmation bias. See this went wrong, This went wrong,
This went wrong. And what the energy you're putting out
into the universe is negative. And I've always said that
energy is a boomerang. You throw out an energy and
that energy comes back to you. So at least in
(05:26):
this particular case, and in many of these meditations, I'm
talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to
anyone else. And I'm only choosing topics of meditations for
us to do and go through because it's what I
need that day, and this is one that I need
today is dealing with disappointment and recognizing that paradise is
(05:52):
not a place and that is a state of consciousness.
So that's what we're going to meditate on today, and
as always, go ahead and find yourself in a comfortable place.
You can either sit down or lie down. And we
(06:13):
just want to go into this reminding ourselves that how
we feel about the disappointment isn't real, and honestly, how
we feel about the successes isn't real either. We're riding
a wave, so we have the up and we have
(06:33):
the down. Latching on the down onto the down, part
on the downswing of a thing is only going to
bring us more disappointment, though, I think even though it's
not really more disappointment, it really is just bringing us
(06:55):
It's what we start to look out for. I've ever
seen those really happy, go lucky people, and they just
no matter what goes wrong in their life, they can
still process it. They still have a bad day, they
still might you know, cry when a boyfriend or girlfriend
breaks up with them, but you know, very quickly they
(07:17):
bounce back and and they're able to say, it just
wasn't for me. That was right, wrong place, wrong time.
It just wasn't for me. I know, I'll find something better.
That is a skill, a gift that some people have
(07:40):
that I personally have never had. I'm predisposed to cynicism,
and I fight with it every day. I'm always I
always marvel at people who can bounce back from things
and go, oh, well, today's a new day. So I'm
constantly having to remind myself that those people live happier
(08:01):
lives and try to model that same behavior. It's not
always easy, in fact, it's probably never easy. Okay, take
a long, slow, deep breath in an out, another long, slow,
(08:26):
deep breath in an out as you're settling in to
a quick scan of your body and relax all those
(08:47):
tense areas that might be tightening up that you don't
even recognize. Scan from head to toe, and as you
continue breathing in and out let each exhale bring you
deeper into relaxation and allow yourself to feel heavier and
(09:12):
heavier with each breath. Very often I struggle with the
(09:54):
idea of if I'm not supposed to be, if expectation
leads to disappointment, and disappointment leads to suffering, how do
I still care about things? How do I still push
forward and work hard on something or work hard towards
(10:16):
something without expectation? Because you work hard on something because
you care about it, and you expect things to go
a certain way because you have worked hard, you plan
for something to go a certain way, and when it doesn't,
how do you bounce back from that disappointment? How do
(10:36):
you do that without expecting a certain thing a certain way?
It's hard. It's the recognizing of the expectation in the
moment that can help us. You have to move forward
(10:58):
in life, in a project, in a relationship. You can
only behave the way things are right now and right now.
We're all here, We're all right here. Everything is the
way it is right now, and you can only push
(11:20):
forward based on that. So it's presence and mindfulness and awareness.
Keep breathing deeper and deeper, extending your exhale further and
(11:50):
further each time, triggering your relaxation in your body. All
we have is right now and right now. Everything's okay.
(12:10):
Right now, we have blood pumping through our veins, we
have air filling our lungs. If you're practicing this meditation
with me right now, it means you have time. Everything's okay.
(12:51):
We get attached to things. We get attached to how
we feel about something. We get attached to the idea
of a thing, person, an event. We get attached to
our day dream of what might be, and that leads
(13:22):
us to expectation, which very often leads us back to disappointment.
Not every time, not all the time. Sometimes it is
(13:46):
in that moment we need to be mindful and remind
ourselves that it is the expectation of an outcome that
did that to us. It is not the thing that
is not you. It's not necessarily the people around you.
(14:07):
It's the expectation in our mind, it's the movie we
play in our head. That's what brings it to us.
These things aren't bad or wrong. These things very often
(14:28):
can be used to bring about positive change and a
positive effect. Law of attraction and manifestation is all about
visualizing the thing that sets those things apart are when
(14:52):
things don't go your way, keep trying or getting sucked down,
the dissap appointment rabbit hole where you start to become
negative and quit, cynical, sarcastic. All of those things lead
to more and more of the same us in a
(17:50):
music take a few more moments now, a few last
breaths in this moment, this present moment where everything is okay,
everything's fine, Things are as they should be. Long, slow,
(18:16):
deep breath in an out, One more time in an out,
(18:49):
and when you're ready, you can open your eyes and
go about your day, not mistake. That's it for this time,
(19:14):
on Calm the bleep down. If you like this meditation,
please feel free to send us an email, post a comment,
hit us up on Instagram or TikTok, where we're posting
a lot these days. We'd love to hear from you
once again. I'm Michael Beckamia, reminding you to please calm
the bleep down. We'll see you again soon. Thank you
for meditating with us. Be well, have fun, and no
(19:37):
mistake
Welcome to mindful meditations with Calm the bleep down once again.
I'm your guide, Michael Beckameier, and today we are going
to let go of our expectations. Let's get started. As always,
(00:30):
we have a mindfulness quote to help get us started
into our meditation, and today's quote is from Shri Chinmoy.
Paradise is not a place, it is a state of consciousness.
(00:51):
I went looking for a couple of quotes about expectation
because I personally had a a disappointment, a professional career
disappointment recently, and I was bummed about it. And you know,
(01:14):
the more you practice mindfulness or meditation, that you see
the things that you're that are happening to you. You
see them, you're aware of them. You start to recognize them,
but it doesn't really stop you from feeling them. Sometimes
you have to be feeling or thinking a thing and
then recognize it and then you can start to deal
(01:37):
with it. It really is when something doesn't go your way,
or when you expect something or you really want something
to happen and then it doesn't. It's so easy to
crash down from them because we set ourselves up up
(02:01):
for the big high and then the big high doesn't happen.
When the big high doesn't happen, it's like a punch
in the gut, right, And it happens to everybody. It
happens to all of us. But I've seen so many times,
and I have felt so many times in my own
life that I've felt those disappointments really take the wind
(02:28):
out of my sails, and it is it takes a
long time to recover from them because you start to
believe the lie of the disappointment. You think, oh, this
didn't happen, or go my way because I'm unlucky, nobody
likes me, I'm cursed, all of those things you start
(02:51):
to believe in over time, if you let those disappointments
add up, like I have done in my own life
over time, if you let those disappointments add up up,
and you start to believe that how you feel about
the disappointment is true, You're only going to see more
and more disappointment because you stop trying. That's how I
(03:17):
have felt in my life over disappointment, not always, and
not not as much recently, but earlier in younger, when
I was younger, even all the way to one night ago,
so it's normal to have those feelings, it's normal to
react that way. It is our mind, it is our
(03:39):
ego spinning as we process the information. But it's not true.
So whatever you've been dealing with in your life, whatever
it is, we all have disappointments. We all have things
that don't go the way we expect it or the
(03:59):
way we wanted them to. But if you're not careful,
if we are not careful, we can very easily only
ever see the disappointment and we don't see the things
where things do go our way because those things don't
stand out as much. Finally something went my way. That's
kind of how I used to see it. Finally something
(04:22):
went my way. That's one out of ten, you know,
And I never really let myself be satisfied with the
good things that did happen. I also find myself when
I'm in that state of mind, it's really hard to
be grateful for things like it's losing sight of grade
(04:43):
of gratitude and losing sight of abundance. When you start
to identify with only the disappointments, then you start to
expect the disappointments, and then when things do go not
your way, things end up not going your way. You
(05:05):
It's like confirmation bias. See this went wrong, This went wrong,
This went wrong. And what the energy you're putting out
into the universe is negative. And I've always said that
energy is a boomerang. You throw out an energy and
that energy comes back to you. So at least in
(05:26):
this particular case, and in many of these meditations, I'm
talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to
anyone else. And I'm only choosing topics of meditations for
us to do and go through because it's what I
need that day, and this is one that I need
today is dealing with disappointment and recognizing that paradise is
(05:52):
not a place and that is a state of consciousness.
So that's what we're going to meditate on today, and
as always, go ahead and find yourself in a comfortable place.
You can either sit down or lie down. And we
(06:13):
just want to go into this reminding ourselves that how
we feel about the disappointment isn't real, and honestly, how
we feel about the successes isn't real either. We're riding
a wave, so we have the up and we have
(06:33):
the down. Latching on the down onto the down, part
on the downswing of a thing is only going to
bring us more disappointment, though, I think even though it's
not really more disappointment, it really is just bringing us
(06:55):
It's what we start to look out for. I've ever
seen those really happy, go lucky people, and they just
no matter what goes wrong in their life, they can
still process it. They still have a bad day, they
still might you know, cry when a boyfriend or girlfriend
breaks up with them, but you know, very quickly they
(07:17):
bounce back and and they're able to say, it just
wasn't for me. That was right, wrong place, wrong time.
It just wasn't for me. I know, I'll find something better.
That is a skill, a gift that some people have
(07:40):
that I personally have never had. I'm predisposed to cynicism,
and I fight with it every day. I'm always I
always marvel at people who can bounce back from things
and go, oh, well, today's a new day. So I'm
constantly having to remind myself that those people live happier
(08:01):
lives and try to model that same behavior. It's not
always easy, in fact, it's probably never easy. Okay, take
a long, slow, deep breath in an out, another long, slow,
(08:26):
deep breath in an out as you're settling in to
a quick scan of your body and relax all those
(08:47):
tense areas that might be tightening up that you don't
even recognize. Scan from head to toe, and as you
continue breathing in and out let each exhale bring you
deeper into relaxation and allow yourself to feel heavier and
(09:12):
heavier with each breath. Very often I struggle with the
(09:54):
idea of if I'm not supposed to be, if expectation
leads to disappointment, and disappointment leads to suffering, how do
I still care about things? How do I still push
forward and work hard on something or work hard towards
(10:16):
something without expectation? Because you work hard on something because
you care about it, and you expect things to go
a certain way because you have worked hard, you plan
for something to go a certain way, and when it doesn't,
how do you bounce back from that disappointment? How do
(10:36):
you do that without expecting a certain thing a certain way?
It's hard. It's the recognizing of the expectation in the
moment that can help us. You have to move forward
(10:58):
in life, in a project, in a relationship. You can
only behave the way things are right now and right now.
We're all here, We're all right here. Everything is the
way it is right now, and you can only push
(11:20):
forward based on that. So it's presence and mindfulness and awareness.
Keep breathing deeper and deeper, extending your exhale further and
(11:50):
further each time, triggering your relaxation in your body. All
we have is right now and right now. Everything's okay.
(12:10):
Right now, we have blood pumping through our veins, we
have air filling our lungs. If you're practicing this meditation
with me right now, it means you have time. Everything's okay.
(12:51):
We get attached to things. We get attached to how
we feel about something. We get attached to the idea
of a thing, person, an event. We get attached to
our day dream of what might be, and that leads
(13:22):
us to expectation, which very often leads us back to disappointment.
Not every time, not all the time. Sometimes it is
(13:46):
in that moment we need to be mindful and remind
ourselves that it is the expectation of an outcome that
did that to us. It is not the thing that
is not you. It's not necessarily the people around you.
(14:07):
It's the expectation in our mind, it's the movie we
play in our head. That's what brings it to us.
These things aren't bad or wrong. These things very often
(14:28):
can be used to bring about positive change and a
positive effect. Law of attraction and manifestation is all about
visualizing the thing that sets those things apart are when
(14:52):
things don't go your way, keep trying or getting sucked down,
the dissap appointment rabbit hole where you start to become
negative and quit, cynical, sarcastic. All of those things lead
to more and more of the same us in a
(17:50):
music take a few more moments now, a few last
breaths in this moment, this present moment where everything is okay,
everything's fine, Things are as they should be. Long, slow,
(18:16):
deep breath in an out, One more time in an out,
(18:49):
and when you're ready, you can open your eyes and
go about your day, not mistake. That's it for this time,
(19:14):
on Calm the bleep down. If you like this meditation,
please feel free to send us an email, post a comment,
hit us up on Instagram or TikTok, where we're posting
a lot these days. We'd love to hear from you
once again. I'm Michael Beckamia, reminding you to please calm
the bleep down. We'll see you again soon. Thank you
for meditating with us. Be well, have fun, and no
(19:37):
mistake
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.