September 12, 2025 • 14 mins
In this episode, we have a brand new meditation for self control. Biting our tongue, losing our temper, controlling our unproductive outbursts. Those are all very real obstacles we have in today's world. We hope this episode helps provide some perspective when you are struggling.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello again. I'm Michael Bechameier with Mindful Meditations for Calm
to Bleep Down the show where each episode we bring
you a brand new meditation to help you get through
your day. This time you're going to watch our mouth.
Let's go ahead and get started, okay. As always, we
(00:25):
have a mindful quote to help us get started and
enter into our meditation with some perspective and direction. This
time our quote comes from the poet Roomy, one of
my favorites, and the quote reads, raise your words, not
your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
(00:47):
If you're anything like me, you find yourself at least daily,
if not every couple of hours, wanting to tell someone
to go fuck themselves. We can't do that, we can't.
(01:08):
You know. It's not helpful, it's not productive, and really
it's it's it's toxic behavior, and it's really it's taking
your anger and frustrations of the moment out on someone else.
Sometimes people may actually deserve some to be put in
their place, but anger, rage, outbursts, all of that stuff,
(01:34):
for me at least always leave me feeling like I
could have done better. I always kick myself later when
I have some some sort of lashing out like that.
I always feel like, you know, I failed in that moment.
I could have done better. I could have been kinder,
I could have said something different to get my to
(01:57):
get my point across without being cruel. This, of course
links back to ego. Our ego wants to be right.
Our ego wants to be the smartest, the best, the fastest,
the most correct. And it it's good when it's helping
(02:18):
us be stick to our goals. And I want to
run a mile, but I want to run a mile,
you know, thirty seconds faster this time. That's that's that's
good stuff. But that is also discipline. The ego wants
to feel good in the moment, and the ego does
not always consider itself concerned with politeness or the right
(02:48):
thing at the right time. And the older I get,
I find myself struggling with this even more because for
years and years I was a quiet person. I did
not speak up. And the more comfortable I get in
my skin, the more comfortable I am speaking up, which
(03:08):
is great. But at the same time, the older I
get and the more comfortable I get in my skin,
and the more comfortable I am speaking up the more
likely I am to be comfortable telling someone off because
I'm caring less and less the older I get, I'm
caring less and less what people think of me. So
(03:29):
that means I can say what I want and your
opinion to me matters less and less every day. So
it's my opinion of myself, the rules that I've given
myself for appropriate behavior that have to ring true. But
it is a constant battle. It's an internal struggle with
feeling right, feeling good in the moment, and feeling and
(03:58):
doing the right thing, if that makes sense. It's obviously
I'm a work in progress like everybody else, but this
is just how I see it. So if you're anything
like me in I'm telling you, in the last twelve hours,
I've wanted to, you know, curse somebody out, yell at somebody,
(04:22):
lose my temper, lose my cool, and you know I
didn't this time. The problem with that is very often
you do, you are left with that feeling of it.
Did not speak up. So we have to find a balance.
This is all about balance, I think. So having said
(04:45):
all of that, we're going to enter into our meditation
where we try to balance ourselves. Let ourselves off the
hook for the times where we told people off when
we shouldn't have, and let ourselves off the hook for
not speaking up when we feel like we should have,
but also slowly working towards something that we're comfortable with
(05:09):
in the moment, finding a way to speak up without
being cruel or burning bridges or saying something that we
would not normally say if we weren't furious. I don't
believe that. For a long time in my youth, I thought, oh,
(05:34):
the trick was not to get mad, to control my
rage and to stop it from happening. And again, the
longer I'm alive, the more perspective I gain on things,
the more I'd believe that there's no way to stop anger.
There's no way to stop rage, There's there's no way
(05:56):
to stop sadness or grief or any of those things.
But there is is the ability to distance yourself from
those things in the moment and catch yourself and go
hold on second. These are just feelings. Feelings should be acknowledged,
not denied. But I don't have to act on those
(06:19):
things just because that's how I'm feeling right now. That's hard.
I'm working on it, so let's go ahead and get
ourselves comfortable. You can sit down and lie down for
this meditation. You want to relax wherever you can get
(06:39):
yourself comfortable. Take some long, slow, deep breaths in to
get settled. Feel yourself sinking into this relaxed state. Feel
the chair pressing, pressing back up against to you with
(07:01):
a mattress if you're lying down, feeling it pushing back
up against you, the weight, the heaviness, and as you
exhale each time, feel yourself sinking deeper and heavier into
that relaxation, sinking heavier and deeper. What we're trying to
(07:46):
do is gain some perspective on our thoughts and feelings.
I'm reminded of the analogy when we are standing in
traffic and cars are flying by, feels intense and chaotic
(08:06):
and loud and possibly dangerous. We're standing right there on
a street corner, but from above that very same traffic
is more peaceful and serene and calm and quiet. And
the only thing that's changed is we just have some
(08:27):
perspective some distance. That is how I try to view
my thoughts and feelings, just some perspective and some distance.
Some time, the same problem doesn't seem so crazy. The
(08:53):
best way for me to get that distance in that
time is to spend some time following my breath in
an out, placing myself in that present moment where everything
(09:18):
is fine. Right now. We have time, we have space
to gain some distance from the craziness that is happening
around me. Following your breath in an out, in and out,
(10:16):
each breath getting heavier, sinking deeper into that relaxed state,
heavier and heavier with each breath, a little more perspective
(10:39):
on that present moment, settling into here and now with
each breath, because each breath is only in the here
and now. Your breath is always right now. It is
not five seconds ago, it is now, as we have
(12:24):
our last few moments together. Let's take a couple more long, slow,
deep breaths in and out one more time. I'm just
(12:52):
gonna sit in this moment with the stillness and quiet
settle in. We are here, we are now, like a long, slow,
deep breath in and else. When you're ready, you can
(13:22):
open your eyes and go about your day. That's it
for this time, on mindful meditations from Calm the Bleep Down.
(13:43):
I am your host, Michael Beckamaia, reminding you to please
calm the bleep down and we will see you again
next time. Thank you for listening, Thank you for meditating
with us. See you soon. No, I'm Mispaea utoputi kataka
(14:05):
kakako
Hello again. I'm Michael Bechameier with Mindful Meditations for Calm
to Bleep Down the show where each episode we bring
you a brand new meditation to help you get through
your day. This time you're going to watch our mouth.
Let's go ahead and get started, okay. As always, we
(00:25):
have a mindful quote to help us get started and
enter into our meditation with some perspective and direction. This
time our quote comes from the poet Roomy, one of
my favorites, and the quote reads, raise your words, not
your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
(00:47):
If you're anything like me, you find yourself at least daily,
if not every couple of hours, wanting to tell someone
to go fuck themselves. We can't do that, we can't.
(01:08):
You know. It's not helpful, it's not productive, and really
it's it's it's toxic behavior, and it's really it's taking
your anger and frustrations of the moment out on someone else.
Sometimes people may actually deserve some to be put in
their place, but anger, rage, outbursts, all of that stuff,
(01:34):
for me at least always leave me feeling like I
could have done better. I always kick myself later when
I have some some sort of lashing out like that.
I always feel like, you know, I failed in that moment.
I could have done better. I could have been kinder,
I could have said something different to get my to
(01:57):
get my point across without being cruel. This, of course
links back to ego. Our ego wants to be right.
Our ego wants to be the smartest, the best, the fastest,
the most correct. And it it's good when it's helping
(02:18):
us be stick to our goals. And I want to
run a mile, but I want to run a mile,
you know, thirty seconds faster this time. That's that's that's
good stuff. But that is also discipline. The ego wants
to feel good in the moment, and the ego does
not always consider itself concerned with politeness or the right
(02:48):
thing at the right time. And the older I get,
I find myself struggling with this even more because for
years and years I was a quiet person. I did
not speak up. And the more comfortable I get in
my skin, the more comfortable I am speaking up, which
(03:08):
is great. But at the same time, the older I
get and the more comfortable I get in my skin,
and the more comfortable I am speaking up the more
likely I am to be comfortable telling someone off because
I'm caring less and less the older I get, I'm
caring less and less what people think of me. So
(03:29):
that means I can say what I want and your
opinion to me matters less and less every day. So
it's my opinion of myself, the rules that I've given
myself for appropriate behavior that have to ring true. But
it is a constant battle. It's an internal struggle with
feeling right, feeling good in the moment, and feeling and
(03:58):
doing the right thing, if that makes sense. It's obviously
I'm a work in progress like everybody else, but this
is just how I see it. So if you're anything
like me in I'm telling you, in the last twelve hours,
I've wanted to, you know, curse somebody out, yell at somebody,
(04:22):
lose my temper, lose my cool, and you know I
didn't this time. The problem with that is very often
you do, you are left with that feeling of it.
Did not speak up. So we have to find a balance.
This is all about balance, I think. So having said
(04:45):
all of that, we're going to enter into our meditation
where we try to balance ourselves. Let ourselves off the
hook for the times where we told people off when
we shouldn't have, and let ourselves off the hook for
not speaking up when we feel like we should have,
but also slowly working towards something that we're comfortable with
(05:09):
in the moment, finding a way to speak up without
being cruel or burning bridges or saying something that we
would not normally say if we weren't furious. I don't
believe that. For a long time in my youth, I thought, oh,
(05:34):
the trick was not to get mad, to control my
rage and to stop it from happening. And again, the
longer I'm alive, the more perspective I gain on things,
the more I'd believe that there's no way to stop anger.
There's no way to stop rage, There's there's no way
(05:56):
to stop sadness or grief or any of those things.
But there is is the ability to distance yourself from
those things in the moment and catch yourself and go
hold on second. These are just feelings. Feelings should be acknowledged,
not denied. But I don't have to act on those
(06:19):
things just because that's how I'm feeling right now. That's hard.
I'm working on it, so let's go ahead and get
ourselves comfortable. You can sit down and lie down for
this meditation. You want to relax wherever you can get
(06:39):
yourself comfortable. Take some long, slow, deep breaths in to
get settled. Feel yourself sinking into this relaxed state. Feel
the chair pressing, pressing back up against to you with
(07:01):
a mattress if you're lying down, feeling it pushing back
up against you, the weight, the heaviness, and as you
exhale each time, feel yourself sinking deeper and heavier into
that relaxation, sinking heavier and deeper. What we're trying to
(07:46):
do is gain some perspective on our thoughts and feelings.
I'm reminded of the analogy when we are standing in
traffic and cars are flying by, feels intense and chaotic
(08:06):
and loud and possibly dangerous. We're standing right there on
a street corner, but from above that very same traffic
is more peaceful and serene and calm and quiet. And
the only thing that's changed is we just have some
(08:27):
perspective some distance. That is how I try to view
my thoughts and feelings, just some perspective and some distance.
Some time, the same problem doesn't seem so crazy. The
(08:53):
best way for me to get that distance in that
time is to spend some time following my breath in
an out, placing myself in that present moment where everything
(09:18):
is fine. Right now. We have time, we have space
to gain some distance from the craziness that is happening
around me. Following your breath in an out, in and out,
(10:16):
each breath getting heavier, sinking deeper into that relaxed state,
heavier and heavier with each breath, a little more perspective
(10:39):
on that present moment, settling into here and now with
each breath, because each breath is only in the here
and now. Your breath is always right now. It is
not five seconds ago, it is now, as we have
(12:24):
our last few moments together. Let's take a couple more long, slow,
deep breaths in and out one more time. I'm just
(12:52):
gonna sit in this moment with the stillness and quiet
settle in. We are here, we are now, like a long, slow,
deep breath in and else. When you're ready, you can
(13:22):
open your eyes and go about your day. That's it
for this time, on mindful meditations from Calm the Bleep Down.
(13:43):
I am your host, Michael Beckamaia, reminding you to please
calm the bleep down and we will see you again
next time. Thank you for listening, Thank you for meditating
with us. See you soon. No, I'm Mispaea utoputi kataka
(14:05):
kakako
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