April 17, 2025 • 53 mins
Best Selling Aurhor Lonnie Rey Interview with Betsy Wurzel. From Setback to Bestseller: Lonnee Rey’s Story
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, this is Betsy Worzel. You're a host of
Chatting with Betsy. I'm Passion World Talk Radio Network, a
subsidiary of Global Media Network llc Ora mantras to educate, enlightened,
and entertain. Those views of the guests may not represent
those of the hosts of the station. Folks, I'm excited
(00:22):
to have with me today. A just a gem and
a treasure in my opinion. I met my guest Lannie
Ray on LinkedIn. I'm so grateful she connected with me.
And I'm going to tell you about Lonnie Ray and
you spell the name l o n n ee r
(00:46):
e y. Lonnie Ray is a twenty twenty three Best
Indie Book Award winner. She is an editor, a ghostwriter,
number one best selling non author, and nineteen times best
selling writer. That's raight, you heard that right, nineteen times
(01:09):
best selling writer. She is a master wordsmith. She helps
people bring their story to life. Each anthology book has
hit number one in multiple categories, taking less than a
week or a week to publish following her weekend workshops.
(01:31):
Lannie is a transformational writing writing She does that and
story development coach. Lannie has appeared as a featured guest
on Tyra Banks and The Steve Harvey Show, displaying courage
and sharing difficulties turned into diamonds. She has a ray
of light publishing. I just got done briefly reading this
(01:56):
fantastic book, to my opinion, how to deal with a
dumb ass, what to do and say when they come
your way. I love the tunnel of that book, and
I I want to welcome Lennie Raid and chatting with Betsy.
What a pleasure. Thank you. The pleasure is all mine.
(02:22):
So grateful we connected on LinkedIn because you are such
a gem and an inspiration not just to me but
for other people. And you just have such a wisdom.
And I always start off with how did you come
(02:44):
up with the towel of your book? And what motivated
you to write it?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Okay, thanks Betsy. Yeah those are loaded questions really yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So what happened was back in late twenty nineteen, twenty twenty,
I dove into rabbit holes that I'd not ventured into
before and came up my faces all dirty, and.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I was like, Wow, what's really going on? Oh my gosh.
And it was, honestly, because part of ghostwriting is being
a researcher and so it's in my nature to dig
a little deeper, go a little further. And when I
came back from some of these rabbit hole journeys, the
(03:35):
trauma that I experienced was so much. See before this,
I was I was a dumbass, and by my definition
in the book, I was asleep at the wheel. And
we can cover that in a minute. And what that means,
you know now, is I just didn't know what I
(03:56):
didn't know. And in a way, ignorance can be bliss.
But for some reason I was called to go look
into these things. And it was the trauma of discovery that.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Made me say, I need a way to deal with
these discoveries. Because we've got some a major clown show
on parade on the main stage.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
We got basically we got dumbasses running the program. And
I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't know. Now
what do I do? And and I was like, think global,
act local. You've heard the expression, and I said, okay, well,
maybe what I need to do is look at what
(04:45):
each of us could do in our own lives to
minimize issues that can be caused by certain personality traits,
and and that way, before it's too late, you know,
how to recognize s trouble before it becomes your problem,
so that when push comes to shove, as I believe
(05:05):
it will in our economy and things that are going
crazy right now, as you've seen, when when the thing
that gets told, we want to make sure that we
have people around us that will genuinely have our backs.
And that's what the most prompt Yes, that's that's the
(05:26):
one thing, Betsy, was to make sure for sure that
the people that we gave our address to and let
put their feet up on our sofa, we're going to
turn around and be the enemy or a problem. And
so I started looking around and at certain personality traits
(05:47):
based on people that I'd experienced, especially during that time,
and how people were acting, and I said, these personality
traits need to be cited. And so that's how the
book came about. And it was really, yeah, those two
(06:07):
words at half part of it, thank you. Yeah, you know,
it was like, oh, okay, it's like that huh, okay,
okay say to yourself because of the white words, you know,
but okay, it's like that huh has been really helpful.
It almost makes a person, makes you kind of like
teflon so the the stuff that's flying around doesn't stick
(06:29):
to you, and that was my goal.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh well it was good. I will tell the audience
when I said that to me at PDF form and
I really have difficulty with that because of my vision,
but what I read and well, it's a phenomenal and
I just want to share something if I can, Lonnie
from your book.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That that's see, sure you welcome. That's really hit me
on age on it before it says awareness plus acceptance
plus action equal change. That is a golden nugget.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We could do a show just on that, because you
have to be aware of what's going on, aware of
your situation. We don't like it, but we have to
accept it. And then there's an action. You have to
take action to change a lot of people don't want
to do that, as you know, Wannie, and it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah. I'm so glad you pulled that off, Betsy, because
that it works.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that hppening you, Yes.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, and yes, that's right. And so so I realized
awareness was lacking. And then when you're aware of something
like stop lying to yourself if it is you know
it is what it is, and it is what it
isn't right. So what is is what shows up what
you make of it's up to you. That's acceptance, okay,
oh okay, it's like that. Huh, We're going back to
that one. Oh okay, and then what can you do
(08:13):
about it? And that's how we create change, not you know,
arguing for for limitations or as I've put in the book,
arguing for ignorance. People will and they will often choose
willful blindness because it would rather stay comfortable than look
at uncomfortable things that need to change.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
That's so true. And sometimes we don't want to see
what's in front of us. We don't want to accept
the truth that this person may not be good for us,
this person is not treating us the way we should
be treated. And we say, well, I know in my
own wife, you think, oh if I leave them more,
(08:56):
is that they all change and they don't figures just
stay the same, but you'll change to fit into that
instead of you know, just going forward. And I think, Alania,
I'm true in my own life that because I was
(09:18):
raised in an abusive home environment, that I deserved to
be treated with disrespect. That was like normal for me
until I that that took me to the age of
sixty to say, you know what, I'm flipping this switch.
I don't deserve to be treated with disrespect. I'm going
(09:41):
to change how people treat me. I'm not tolerating it anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah they're raising it if comfortable, Yeah, we don't know.
Yeah yeah, And then you t because in it we
can we can flip which we can flip the script
at any age you can decide no, no more. So
I want more of this or less of this. Move
your feet accordingly, right, Yes, part of the dumbas.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, yes, that's true. I would say I was talking
to someone last year whose caregave for her husband and
she didn't want to accept that he can no longer
do certain things. And I said, well, what was was
and now what is is, and it's going to change
(10:34):
again and again, and you have to accept it and
go with it. Otherwise you're going to drive yourself nuts
because yourself and your spouse more stress. And that's a huge,
a huge, I want to say issue for some people.
(10:56):
Wannie is being aware and accepting and definitely take an action.
You know, people want they want change, and I'm sure
you've met a lot of people like that, Loney. They
want change, but they don't want to do anything about it.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Or they want for them.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yes, yes, exactly, excuse me, yes, yeah. You go to
a therapist or you attend a self improvement workshop and
people say, well it didn't help me, Well did you
do the work? Because a therapist isn't going to change you,
or counselor you have to do the inner work. And
(11:37):
a lot of people don't want to do that because
it's painful to take a look at yourself and say,
you know what, I need to change some things and
to validate your feelings. It's it's it's a painful process,
but I'll tell you, folks, it's worth getting done. And
(11:58):
I just have to share something with you, Lannius and
the audience, because I know that you would definitely appreciate this.
It just dawned on me this past weekend and I
think maybe I heard somebody talk on Instagram. I have
been living in survival mode for one reason or another
most of my life, and it hit me. Did I say,
(12:21):
you know what, now it's time to have enjoy your
life mode. That'sy you are safe. You don't have to
walk on eggshells. You're not being bullied anymore. Now it's
time to enjoy life. And it just said me. Sometimes
you know, things just hit you over the head, good
(12:42):
and bad.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah. And you've had your challenges, yeah I have.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I just want to acknowledge your change and your and
your decision because it's amazing what happens when we make
a decision that and the point of the book was
really like, if things are messed up, okay, you have
to be aware of it, accept it, and make take action,
but it can really send you sideways, and then we
(13:11):
don't make the best decisions for ourselves. And so one
of the missions that I'm on If You Will is
to help people to reset their mindset quickly. And that
happens through the way you frame a question. Instead of
why me, it could be you know something else. And
one of those things that I found is and mind you.
(13:35):
I was traumatized when I wrote this book. I was
kind of overcome it, right, but I said, okay, all right,
all right, how can I have more fun today than
I ever thought possible? And I know, so I'm serious
saying it, but at first it might feel that way,
but when you ask, like when you're seeking change. If
you ask how can I dot dot dot, it implies
(13:56):
there's an answer, and how can I I have more
fun today than I ever thought possible? Is a way
to do it. Say it, let it go. You don't
have to work on it, you don't have to thump
your forehead for answers. And what you'll find is, at
the end of the day, if you remember to look back,
it actually did turn out to be more fun than
(14:17):
you thought. And the reason that I advocate for that
is because that's the place you want to make decisions from,
is when you're in a different mindset. And it can
be really hard when things you know, when when you
know it's it's all falling apart. Sometimes it's coming together,
we just don't see it yet. But making big decisions
(14:41):
can open up things you know. It can be hard,
It can feel like why did I try? Why did
I start this? What am I thinking? But keep going
because there is there is an end to it, and
I believe that if we're as Tony Robbins said, you know,
I learned a lot from from other people. I like
(15:01):
to give them credit. Was you know, when the pain
becomes bigger than the unknown, we'll take that step. And
that was what motivated me to change things from you know,
an abusive childhood that stuck with me for thirty or
forty years. I lost count after a while, a lot
(15:21):
of processing.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yes, and I want to tell the audience and you
can refresh my memory as to where they can find
it on LinkedIn. You posted and I heard the audio
being a late bloomer. Folks, you got to listen to
that because that is so powerful. I think I cried
(15:47):
when I I cried and I laughed, Lonnie when I
heard that, because I could so I so related to you.
You know, remember my own father tell me, oh, I'd
be more proud of you if you were an r
N you know, registered nurse. Uh'd be more proud of
(16:07):
you if you blah blah blah. And you know, it's
just very and I'm thinking to myself, I think I
might even say this to my father. I said, oh, really,
I said, I'd be more proud of you if you
had a master's degree in business.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I was a family rebel. My father was a salesman
who really didn't He didn't make a good living and
he was out of work a few times, so I
was like, you know, but my parents are very into
status for people who didn't have status that they wanted,
and I, you know, did that is that was phenomenal?
(16:56):
Can can you refresh my memory of the name of
that audio?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, that was called It's called Encouragement for the Late Bloomer,
And it's the name of the chapter that I wrote
my short story, and all these short stories are mini memoirs.
Is taking a chapter out of your life, and in
this particular one for the advocates, the healers and heeding
(17:23):
a higher calling. That's the name of the book. I
really ruminated over what to write about, and I'll tell you, Betsy,
I'd done a similar theme before, and I went on
YouTube because I like to voice my chapters so that
it can be more accessible for people. And what I
noticed was previously I had done something I labeled it
(17:46):
are you a Late Bloomer? And that thumbnail, that particular
video got more views than any of the other ones.
And that's when it hit me. I was like, you know,
I remember being thirty feeling like a miss saying something
I should have it together by now, and then hitting
forty and thinking the same thing. And then before I
(18:06):
knew it. I was fifty five and now I'm over sixty,
and I just started a career seven years ago, a
new one again, and that feeling like you're missing it somehow.
I wanted to eliminate that, because it's really a journey
and maybe all the all the steps that it's taken
(18:28):
have been to build this new opportunity that I've now
been able to do with other people. But I didn't
know it at the time. I just you know, I
grew up in a critical household too, and when you
have that, you tend to carry it with you even
though you've left the house.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Right, And then their anciety said, you're doing it wrong,
because if you don't have that tape running in your
head long enough, then it's you know you didn't. Where's
the two point two kids, the white picket sense and
the husband? Well I never had those. I thought I
was doing it wrong all this time. And then I
ended up in sharing an apartment with a girl who
(19:13):
did do that all of it, check check all the boxes.
And she ended up divorced, leaving the house with the
picket fence and the job as sitting at the other
end the same sofa with me sharing an apartment, and
I thought about the journey that got me there, and
(19:34):
I was so glad that mine was filled with adventure,
that I went where the wind blew me, that I
shook convention and I said, no, I want to do
these things instead. And it's not easy, but I'm sticky.
I did it that way. I got to be kind
(19:58):
of the cool thing.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yes, it's like, uh, why, it's like people try to
put on parents. They mean well most of the time,
but and even teachers, you know, they put children in
boxes and they crush their creativity that they have. Or
you should be this, or you should you know, be that,
(20:23):
and you know girls don't do this and boys don't
do that, and you know they just I think you
should just let people blossom and be their own. You know,
they've created in their own way may not fit conventional.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You know, you know, you're you're you know, I often
point out, you know, babies are born with a blank mind.
They don't come in with these ideas. Somebody has given
them to them. And you know what, with that in mind,
get the bigger raser out and change your mind, because
these things that are forced fan into us may not
be our truth. There's someone else's idea of how life goes,
(21:07):
and you get to figure that out. And I wanted
to encourage people that are thinking they've missed the mark,
they didn't make it, they're a failure. I wanted to
encourage them. You might be a late bloomer, honey, but
I'll tell you what. There's a tree I'm looking at
right now that still has all the pink blooms on
it and everything else is green. So guess what stands
(21:30):
out the late bloomer. I love it.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Oh, I did too. I have interviewed people on my
show that are writing books in their seventies and eighties
and sixties. They're doing a second career and our bestseller.
It's just incredible because you know, you think you can't
(21:54):
do it. And I was talking about this with another guest,
failing and people are afraid of failure. Failure to me
is not even trying. You're going to make mistakes. That's
how you learn. Most of your successful people they got
there because they made mistakes. They learned from their mistakes,
and they went forward knowing with the knowledge to improve.
(22:19):
You know what where the mistake was and how to
improve on it. So it's not failing. It's really working
out the kinks that need to be worked out to
get to that product that you want, or the book
or your business, whatever you are striving to accomplish. I'll
(22:44):
share this with Jilani. I'm a very open book. I'm
very open and honest with my guests, my audience. I
never ever pictured interviewing people. I mean, if anyone would
have told me seven eight years ago by the interviewing people,
I would say, you're nuts. There's no way. And I
(23:09):
think sometimes circumstances happen in our life to bring us
where we should be, that where we never thought we
would be if it weren't for those circumstances. Does that
makes sense true?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Oh? Boy, doesn't know I got a story for I
was just yeah, it's so true, and I hope that
this stands as as inspiration for others. I had just
come off of the best paying gig as a ghostwriter
that I'd ever had. I'd manifested and I'd won out
(23:44):
of one hundred people that she you know, that applied
and it was a tremendous success. So excited and it
was and somebody let me know, next time, you should
charge forty thousand because you're a book producer, you're not
just a ghostwriter. You can do all the parts, and
that's extremely rare. And I was like, yeah, right on, okay,
(24:04):
I'm ready, and I didn't. And often the mistake is
we don't listen to her still small voice because it's
still a small voice. And what happened is my still
small voice said no, no, don't do it, not now,
not now. Oh no. I'd gone roller skating for my
(24:25):
sixtieth birthday. I spin around and turned backwards to stop,
but they were regret they were racing skates, not boot
high boot skates. I lost my balance. I fell in
mid air. I knew. My brother said, don't put your
hands out. Don't put your hands out whenever you fall, don't.
(24:46):
So I landed hard on my hip. I landed so
hard I bounced three times, my hip to my spine
to my left wrist, which went snap snap, and I
broke my wrist in two places with the bone sticking out.
And oh, my intuitions, I know, push you back in,
push that heart to me thinking about yeah, it was bad,
(25:09):
you know, throw up because it's you know, it makes
you sick. It hurts so much, right, yeah, and so
uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Long.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
The long and short of it is I can only
type with one hand now. And there went the career,
There went my creativity, There went everything that I had
planned on and and it was oh god moment, and
I was like, well again, here we go again. Why
(25:39):
can't it work out for me? What the heck? Well,
somebody painted a picture of possibility and and I'd been
working off and on for him for a few years
as an editor, and he said that I was really
good at story development. And by the way, did you
(26:00):
know that people can write a chapter in a weekend?
And I was like what, yeah, Oh, it painted the
possibility for me. And because of that need that I had,
I suddenly went from loving my lone wolf lifestyle and
(26:22):
I still do, to looking for people who wanted to
be published, hosting a writing workshop that I didn't know
I was capable of doing, and publishing a book days later,
then marketing it to hit the bestseller list. I wouldn't
(26:43):
have needed any of that if I hadn't fallen that day,
But because what I mean by need is I wouldn't
have needed to know. I would have still been looking
for ghostwriting jobs, but instead, over the last sixteen. In
eighteen months, over one hundred people have been in the books,
(27:05):
and it's changed their lives, and it's helped them to
build their careers, and it's been the most frustrating and
rewarding work I've ever done.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's an incredible story. I heard someone say one time,
you know, don't ask why, ask why not? And we
don't see the bigger picture sometimes, you know, of going
down to a certain road or why certain circumstances happened
to us. And I can honestly say that, you know,
(27:44):
my husband's journey for Alzheimer's changed me into such a
completely different person. I mean I does might sound weird, folks,
but you know what, I'm now grateful for that journey
because I'm a better person. I found my strength, I
found my gifts, I found my voice, and I want
(28:05):
to use it the time I have left to help
change this world, to help people. And if it wasn't
for Matt to Oldheimer's, I want to be doing this,
that's for sure. I never.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
I never saw i'd be doing what I'm doing either, right,
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
That when I used to do videos my car Lani,
I used to do videos about you know, caregiving and
trying to dispel the the myths of Oldheimer's. And I
put out to different caregiving groups, thinking, oh, no, one's
going to listen to me. Who's going to listen to me?
And people did listen, and I was shocked at their response.
(28:59):
But like going into my car, that's how I met
Jeanie White, who's the station manager, and she discovered me.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
And I did in your car making videos. Yeah, yeah,
that's awful.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, And she saw one of my videos one night
and she contacted me and I went on her show.
She interviewed me, and she asked me if I would
speak on her show weekly, and I was so honored
and shocked. And then after a year she said, Betty,
think you should have your own show. I mean never
(29:40):
would have thought, you know that I would be. I
never would have asked, you know, because I tell you know,
I can't. I can't do that. And folks, as I say,
I'm an open book, sometimes I have to battle Betsy.
Betsy as the battle see because sometimes I think what
(30:02):
am I doing? What am I doing talking to this
person I'm not in their caliber and feeling like good enough?
And I had to sit to myself, well, you are
good enough. And I had to have talks with myself
every day, folks. I mean, this is sometimes what we
(30:24):
have to do. We have to look in the mirror
and do a positive self talk for ourselves because in
some you know, sometimes we or our own dumbass.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Well, yeah, I mean it brings up like when in
that term in that audio you heard encouragement for the
late Bloomer. I referred to the invitation to be on
a show called Making It, and I went through my
own personal have I made it? According to who? According
(30:58):
to what? I listen? I looked at the names of
the people that were on the show before me. I
was so intimidated. I was like, what, I don't know
that I can. I almost canceled, almost canceled because in
my head, I was like, what am I doing getting
on this show? And like you, you know, we all
(31:23):
I think we all go through it. But I wanted
to share this bit because what ended up happening. Huh.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
What ended up.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Happening was a note that came back after the interview,
and the producer said he'd done over one hundred interviews
and this was the one he'd been looking for the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Wow, I was.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I know, I was blown away and here I almost canceled.
So if you're listening out there and you get an opportunity,
or go create an opportunity and rise to the occasion,
because you might surprise yourself and everybody else.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, yeah, why that is uh, that's very that's so true.
When I started to do videos in my mom she
had heard a couple She said, Betsy, what happened to you?
When did you get like this? Because I was very quiet.
(32:36):
I was, you know, shy and quiet, and I didn't
voice my opinions because there's a lot of competition with
four children to be heard, and I knew I wasn't
going to be hurt, so I just figured why even bother.
But when I was angry and it was my anger
(32:58):
that turned into a passion and about how my husband
and I were treated in the medical community, I couldn't
let it destroy me. I couldn't let that anger defeat me.
I said, well, what can I do? Well, you know what,
I'm going to go in my car and I'm just
gonna spew out what I have to say. It was
cathartic for me, so never thought it would lend me
(33:23):
to where to what I'm doing today, I just say, yeah,
I just never thought of it. And I just feel
blessed to you know, meet people like Gilani and to
be able to help people, and that's what here for.
(33:44):
And I heard about your audio encouragement for late Bloomer.
I was here yelling in New Jersey. Yes I cur
late now. I remember you were talking about that talk show.
And when I heard you talk about that, I said,
that's how I feel sometimes before I interview, you know,
(34:07):
some guests, That's how I feel. What am I doing
interviewing this person? And then you know it turns out
to be really great and they were very nice. And
you know, we don't we just don't know Annie, how
far our ripples travel. We really don't, for good or negative.
(34:29):
You know, we just don't know. But true, I know
you're closing not just ripples. I think you're closing a
tsunami of good energy out there because you're just you know,
a phenomenal. Your story and what you have to say
(34:54):
is just it's remarkable. I like the chat after in
your book, and it stood out to me where you
asked your father for advice about marrying someone.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Oh god, oh god, oh And.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
How that didn't turn out how you wanted. And you know,
you didn't see the red flags that were there until
after I did.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I did, and I hold my dad who was post
positioning himself as the experts. You know, now he's never
had a fight with his now a fourth wife, and
that's fine. It takes what it's no judgment, it's okay.
But he positioned himself as you know everything. I figured
it all out, and I was like, what do I
You want me to tell the story real quickly, but yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
(35:51):
picture this. I'm in Australia, which is so I'm out
of the country. I'm on a visa. That so that's
tenants his residency. It's temporary at best. And and I
met somebody he really pursued me. I was like, no, no, no,
I don't want to fall in love. And I did
in the pan food ale at the grocery store. Lightning
bull hit me. I fell in love with the guy.
(36:13):
But there were red flags. So I called my dad
and I said, are these you know, pre wedding jitters,
Is this something to look out for? Because remember he
posts he's the smartest man in the room. Just ask
him and he'll tell you, and uh, am I making
(36:37):
a mistake because I was. I was forty six at
the time. I've waited my whole life to get married, obviously,
and I didn't want to mess it up. And so
I was like, can you what should I do? And
and is this a blessing so that I can stay
(36:58):
in the country because I really wanted to stay in Australia.
Is this is this warning flags? And so I went
through a whole bunch of stuff and then he says, well, Sissy,
what's his last name? And I said Cox? He said Cox,
said you had a Cox? He said, huh, that doesn't
(37:19):
sound Aboriginal. Just marry him.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I like.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
What, I don't know if that was callous, racist or
you're just trying to get rid of me. You know.
I had no courage to say those things. I was
too blown away by the brush off answer. And I
did marry him. And that was when I learned about
domestic violence so bad, so much. I didn't know a
body could cry that much for six eight months. I
(37:51):
don't know, river of tears. Bad bad situation, stuck in
another country, bad situation. I don't blame my dad, but dang,
huh that you know later, much later, like on his deathbed.
(38:12):
Later I learned how much of a liar he was.
So wow, you know yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yeah that not you know we miss sometimes we don't
want to hear that small voice telling us. We wanted
to listen to our gut telling us. I went instinct,
this isn't right. Sometimes we just don't want to you.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I had never felt so so much for someone, and
people would look at me though you light up when
he comes in the room. He pursued me. He looked
everything about me, and as soon as we got married,
he hated everything about me, right down to the color
lipstick I wore. It was like a bait and switch.
Nobody saw it coming. It was insane, And years later
(39:10):
when I went back to Australia, he said, yeah, I
was intimidated and I felt powerful by chasing you around
the house and making you cry.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Oh okay, well that's awful. Yeah wow, I'm so sorry
you experienced that.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Yeah, that's uh yeah, that's the lot of red flags
when dating someone who's shown their red flags of being abusive.
And I've done the shows on domestic violence, unless they
hide it very well. But did he you call it
(39:58):
love bomb you.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I would say, so, yeah, that's their motives.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
They love bomb you and you maybe they make you
feel secure at first, and then you tell them like
your insecurities, then they use that against you.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Yeah, it didn't take much. Everything was a weapon. If
I was making a grocery list, it was, oh, what
do you write? Which boyfriend are you're writing to back
in the States now? And I was like, you know what,
this guy doesn't know how lucky he is. He got
Donna Reed for a wife. I'm a professionally trained chef,
and I could. I took care of that guy like
he'd never seen before, you know, all kinds of ways.
(40:42):
You know, it was wonderful, had a sweet little house
right across the beach. It could have been great. But
he couldn't stand it. He had to destroy it. Who
knew that was coming?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Oh, as I said, that was a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
It wasn't there, and let to tell about it. So
here we are. And you know what with the work
that I do now, BET's say, with the transformatory And
I didn't create the title of the workshops. The writers did.
They said, Lonnie, these are transformational writing workshops. You really
create an environment where people feel instantly safe. They because
(41:24):
I pre screen. I don't screen. I pre interview everybody.
There's no sign up and pay here button on my website.
I make sure by having a discussion who's coming in,
what they have to say, what their stories about, all that,
and make sure and by the time they get there,
I know how the crowd's going to blend, and they do.
(41:46):
And it also is there isn't much I haven't done.
So if you want to let it all hang out
with yours, truly, you're going to find acceptance in my
circle and whatever it is that you came to share
or bear, I'm okay with that. And I think that's
what makes these stories so impactful. If they feel free
(42:10):
to let themselves feel free to express themselves.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
What a blessing it must be to have you as
a writing and story coach.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
I think that would be amazing. So so you help
people write their books, I can do that too, and.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, absolutely. What it found is that the idea of
a book can be so overwhelming people never get started,
and so that what I helped them do. I do
help people get their books done. Absolutely, I just did.
It just came off of a book. With these the
author books, they're not to be underestimated if they're done right.
(43:04):
And I spell that with a W W RI I
t E. When you get with the right person, it
works out. It's an opportunity to see how to construct
a story because usually people like, I'm still alive. Word
does it end? I'm like, first of all, I'm not
putting your life in a chapter. We're taking a chapter
(43:26):
out of your life, and I'll help you figure out
where it ends. Well, how do I open and what
goes in the middle? I get it. I totally will
help you. I get it. Those are the same questions
a person has about a book of their own, a
solo book. The solo book is a much bigger venture
(43:48):
because you're on your own when it comes to the
bigger picture, which is marketing that book, getting the word out.
With a multi author book, everybody's on the same team
and it's a book blitz, and we do it together
and there's support and it really helps embolden the writers.
(44:09):
In fact, five people, at least five people have been
in my workshops and gone on to become competition. There
you go, but they don't use the story developments I
know and I think I'm the only one who does
the pre pre call. Story development calls are very important.
(44:29):
I make sure to help a person figure out their message,
and that's everything. We're not just blah blah blah on paper.
It needs to be written for the reader. So I
help them figure out who they're writing to and why
that way there's a point, and I make sure that
they don't traumatize the readers along the way and that
(44:54):
they land them softly and leave enough to be I
want to know more. I want to work this person.
I just read their story. So it's a mix of
a personal peel and reveal out something or a change,
a message, a pivot you made for the positive, how
are you better not better? And how can that help
(45:17):
promote your business? Showing your personal side because I'm a
marketing minded writer first, and so I helped them figure
out how to convey what they want to say in
a way that helps to without being salesy, pitchy, preachy
or teachee to show what they do and why they
(45:39):
do it. So then in these weekend workshops, they are
given resources they'll use forever, whether you're writing a post
on LinkedIn or articles, or your own book. You're given
the structure to take with you and recordings from the
(46:03):
teachings still there, so that whatever, whenever the time comes again,
whatever it is that you want to do next, you've
got a really solid foundation and it's not so scary.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
That sounds, Uh, phenomenal, Lonnie. How do people get in
touch with you? They want to attend a workshop and
inquire about your workshop and all things, Lonnie Ray.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Well, thanks, Betsy book be okay, Lonnie. Booklonnie dot com
will take you to the website and there's multiple ways
to book a call. And I'm the only Lonnie on LinkedIn,
so el o and n ee and you can find there.
(47:02):
Those are the easiest ways. I'm going to start a substack.
That's new. Yeah, this just in how to get published
without getting burned.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
That's oh that sounds good. Yeah, that sounds good. And
your book how to deal with the dumb ass what
to do and say when they come your way? That's
on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yep, it's on Amazon. It's if you don't like Amazon.
A lot of people have a problem with a billionaire
these days. You can find it on.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
I've heard of bookshop that's getting very popular. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Bookshop org is is a place you can find that
that book, as well as a couple others I've done.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
So, And do you have a a podcast that people
can listen to? Are you on YouTube? Where can I
find your your words of wisdom like God, the one
about the Late Bloomer?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Yeah? Yeah, encouragement for the late Bloomer. You can find
almost I think I have voiced every chapter and they're
on YouTube at rattled Awake Books. So you guys know,
I have a dozen books called rattled Awake, the rattled
Awake series. What happened for you over the last five years?
What shook you?
Speaker 1 (48:35):
You know?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
And that's that's why it is what it is, battled Awake.
And so if you go to YouTube and you can
type in my name, or you can type in rattled
Awake Books, you will find a playlist of probably seventeen
chapters that I've voiced, as well as interviews with authors
(48:58):
and so on. You'll find it all there, and also
the podcast I haven't done. Thanks for asking for reminding me, Bessy.
I did a podcast based on the dumb ast my
dumb Ass book. I'd love to say that, and my
dumb Ass podcast is called how to Deal with the
dumb Ass a Spiritual Perspective, and you can find that
(49:18):
on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, and it's
short form, eleven to fifteen minutes long. And those are
laugh riots and real life examples of the points made
in the book itself. If you'd rather listen and laugh
with me, hopefully a webs fit of that.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Can you repeat your podcast again?
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Sure? How to Deal with a dumb Ass a spiritual perspective,
and you can find it everywhere you listen to us.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, oh that's I'm gonna help, But listen to that
A spiritual perspective. Okay, Yeah, So I.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Threw a perspective in parentheses underneath how to Deal with
the Dumbass, And you'll see a laughing donkey on the cover.
You'll see it busy. It's and you know what, that's funny. Yeah,
and it's meant to be because when we're dealing with people,
I think people like, oh, it's a Jedgie title. No,
(50:21):
actually it's not. If somebody cuts you off on the highway,
you probably do scream dumbas. We all do it. We've
all been affected by people that aren't paying attention and
the trick is to not take that agro with us
back home or to the office. And how to deal
with the dumbas is a way to shake off those
those moments. That's really about protecting your piece. That's what
(50:42):
that book's about.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yes, yes, I highly recommend it. Well, I don't have
to check out your podcast and your other recordings because
you know, the one that I did listen to was
very motivating and inspiring and like you know what, I
(51:05):
really want to listen to more and we should listen
to people that inspire us. So folks, in my own
humble opinion, I thank you all should listen to Lannie
Ray because she is very motivating and aspiring and you
will get a lot out of listening. And Lonnie Ray,
(51:30):
thank you for coming on my show. You are really
a treasure, a treasure trove wisdom and shining your white
out to the world. And I'm so grateful to be
connected with you and to have you on to talk
(51:52):
to you on my show.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Thank you, Thanks, thank you so much, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
One, thank you, Oh you are welcome. Oh thank you
mine too, and my pleasure, folks, all the information about
Ronnie Ray. We'll be in the blog that Genie White,
who's the station manager, writes, and Gennie produces the show,
and all of this is possible because of Lilan cold
(52:21):
Well see a pastoral talk radio network. And I want
to thank everyone for listening and subscribing. If you don't
already subscribe to Chatting with Betsy, it is for free
on Amazon Music, Spotify, Spreaker to name a few, and
to share this show with a friend. Tell your friends
(52:43):
about Chatting with Betsy because I have excellent experts on
and you never know who's going to be coming on
or what they'll be talking about. The se is a
surprise and you will definitely benefit from hearing my guests.
And you can follow me on Facebook Betsy Worzel, w
r z e L and I have a support group
(53:05):
hashtag kick Alzheimer's as movement. And as I always say
at the end of my show, in a world where
you could be anything, please be kind and shine your
life right because we need it now more than ever before.
Till we chat again, be safe. This is Betsy Worzel.
(53:28):
You're a host of Chatting with Betsy. I'm Patrick World
Talk Radio usbsidiary of Global Media Network LLC, Bye bye now,
Hello, everyone, this is Betsy Worzel. You're a host of
Chatting with Betsy. I'm Passion World Talk Radio Network, a
subsidiary of Global Media Network llc Ora mantras to educate, enlightened,
and entertain. Those views of the guests may not represent
those of the hosts of the station. Folks, I'm excited
(00:22):
to have with me today. A just a gem and
a treasure in my opinion. I met my guest Lannie
Ray on LinkedIn. I'm so grateful she connected with me.
And I'm going to tell you about Lonnie Ray and
you spell the name l o n n ee r
(00:46):
e y. Lonnie Ray is a twenty twenty three Best
Indie Book Award winner. She is an editor, a ghostwriter,
number one best selling non author, and nineteen times best
selling writer. That's raight, you heard that right, nineteen times
(01:09):
best selling writer. She is a master wordsmith. She helps
people bring their story to life. Each anthology book has
hit number one in multiple categories, taking less than a
week or a week to publish following her weekend workshops.
(01:31):
Lannie is a transformational writing writing She does that and
story development coach. Lannie has appeared as a featured guest
on Tyra Banks and The Steve Harvey Show, displaying courage
and sharing difficulties turned into diamonds. She has a ray
of light publishing. I just got done briefly reading this
(01:56):
fantastic book, to my opinion, how to deal with a
dumb ass, what to do and say when they come
your way. I love the tunnel of that book, and
I I want to welcome Lennie Raid and chatting with Betsy.
What a pleasure. Thank you. The pleasure is all mine.
(02:22):
So grateful we connected on LinkedIn because you are such
a gem and an inspiration not just to me but
for other people. And you just have such a wisdom.
And I always start off with how did you come
(02:44):
up with the towel of your book? And what motivated
you to write it?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Okay, thanks Betsy. Yeah those are loaded questions really yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So what happened was back in late twenty nineteen, twenty twenty,
I dove into rabbit holes that I'd not ventured into
before and came up my faces all dirty, and.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I was like, Wow, what's really going on? Oh my gosh.
And it was, honestly, because part of ghostwriting is being
a researcher and so it's in my nature to dig
a little deeper, go a little further. And when I
came back from some of these rabbit hole journeys, the
(03:35):
trauma that I experienced was so much. See before this,
I was I was a dumbass, and by my definition
in the book, I was asleep at the wheel. And
we can cover that in a minute. And what that means,
you know now, is I just didn't know what I
(03:56):
didn't know. And in a way, ignorance can be bliss.
But for some reason I was called to go look
into these things. And it was the trauma of discovery that.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Made me say, I need a way to deal with
these discoveries. Because we've got some a major clown show
on parade on the main stage.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
We got basically we got dumbasses running the program. And
I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't know. Now
what do I do? And and I was like, think global,
act local. You've heard the expression, and I said, okay, well,
maybe what I need to do is look at what
(04:45):
each of us could do in our own lives to
minimize issues that can be caused by certain personality traits,
and and that way, before it's too late, you know,
how to recognize s trouble before it becomes your problem,
so that when push comes to shove, as I believe
(05:05):
it will in our economy and things that are going
crazy right now, as you've seen, when when the thing
that gets told, we want to make sure that we
have people around us that will genuinely have our backs.
And that's what the most prompt Yes, that's that's the
(05:26):
one thing, Betsy, was to make sure for sure that
the people that we gave our address to and let
put their feet up on our sofa, we're going to
turn around and be the enemy or a problem. And
so I started looking around and at certain personality traits
(05:47):
based on people that I'd experienced, especially during that time,
and how people were acting, and I said, these personality
traits need to be cited. And so that's how the
book came about. And it was really, yeah, those two
(06:07):
words at half part of it, thank you. Yeah, you know,
it was like, oh, okay, it's like that huh, okay,
okay say to yourself because of the white words, you know,
but okay, it's like that huh has been really helpful.
It almost makes a person, makes you kind of like
teflon so the the stuff that's flying around doesn't stick
(06:29):
to you, and that was my goal.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh well it was good. I will tell the audience
when I said that to me at PDF form and
I really have difficulty with that because of my vision,
but what I read and well, it's a phenomenal and
I just want to share something if I can, Lonnie
from your book.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That that's see, sure you welcome. That's really hit me
on age on it before it says awareness plus acceptance
plus action equal change. That is a golden nugget.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We could do a show just on that, because you
have to be aware of what's going on, aware of
your situation. We don't like it, but we have to
accept it. And then there's an action. You have to
take action to change a lot of people don't want
to do that, as you know, Wannie, and it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah. I'm so glad you pulled that off, Betsy, because
that it works.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that hppening you, Yes.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, and yes, that's right. And so so I realized
awareness was lacking. And then when you're aware of something
like stop lying to yourself if it is you know
it is what it is, and it is what it
isn't right. So what is is what shows up what
you make of it's up to you. That's acceptance, okay,
oh okay, it's like that. Huh, We're going back to
that one. Oh okay, and then what can you do
(08:13):
about it? And that's how we create change, not you know,
arguing for for limitations or as I've put in the book,
arguing for ignorance. People will and they will often choose
willful blindness because it would rather stay comfortable than look
at uncomfortable things that need to change.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
That's so true. And sometimes we don't want to see
what's in front of us. We don't want to accept
the truth that this person may not be good for us,
this person is not treating us the way we should
be treated. And we say, well, I know in my
own wife, you think, oh if I leave them more,
(08:56):
is that they all change and they don't figures just
stay the same, but you'll change to fit into that
instead of you know, just going forward. And I think, Alania,
I'm true in my own life that because I was
(09:18):
raised in an abusive home environment, that I deserved to
be treated with disrespect. That was like normal for me
until I that that took me to the age of
sixty to say, you know what, I'm flipping this switch.
I don't deserve to be treated with disrespect. I'm going
(09:41):
to change how people treat me. I'm not tolerating it anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah they're raising it if comfortable, Yeah, we don't know.
Yeah yeah, And then you t because in it we
can we can flip which we can flip the script
at any age you can decide no, no more. So
I want more of this or less of this. Move
your feet accordingly, right, Yes, part of the dumbas.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, yes, that's true. I would say I was talking
to someone last year whose caregave for her husband and
she didn't want to accept that he can no longer
do certain things. And I said, well, what was was
and now what is is, and it's going to change
(10:34):
again and again, and you have to accept it and
go with it. Otherwise you're going to drive yourself nuts
because yourself and your spouse more stress. And that's a huge,
a huge, I want to say issue for some people.
(10:56):
Wannie is being aware and accepting and definitely take an action.
You know, people want they want change, and I'm sure
you've met a lot of people like that, Loney. They
want change, but they don't want to do anything about it.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Or they want for them.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yes, yes, exactly, excuse me, yes, yeah. You go to
a therapist or you attend a self improvement workshop and
people say, well it didn't help me, Well did you
do the work? Because a therapist isn't going to change you,
or counselor you have to do the inner work. And
(11:37):
a lot of people don't want to do that because
it's painful to take a look at yourself and say,
you know what, I need to change some things and
to validate your feelings. It's it's it's a painful process,
but I'll tell you, folks, it's worth getting done. And
(11:58):
I just have to share something with you, Lannius and
the audience, because I know that you would definitely appreciate this.
It just dawned on me this past weekend and I
think maybe I heard somebody talk on Instagram. I have
been living in survival mode for one reason or another
most of my life, and it hit me. Did I say,
(12:21):
you know what, now it's time to have enjoy your
life mode. That'sy you are safe. You don't have to
walk on eggshells. You're not being bullied anymore. Now it's
time to enjoy life. And it just said me. Sometimes
you know, things just hit you over the head, good
(12:42):
and bad.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah. And you've had your challenges, yeah I have.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I just want to acknowledge your change and your and
your decision because it's amazing what happens when we make
a decision that and the point of the book was
really like, if things are messed up, okay, you have
to be aware of it, accept it, and make take action,
but it can really send you sideways, and then we
(13:11):
don't make the best decisions for ourselves. And so one
of the missions that I'm on If You Will is
to help people to reset their mindset quickly. And that
happens through the way you frame a question. Instead of
why me, it could be you know something else. And
one of those things that I found is and mind you.
(13:35):
I was traumatized when I wrote this book. I was
kind of overcome it, right, but I said, okay, all right,
all right, how can I have more fun today than
I ever thought possible? And I know, so I'm serious
saying it, but at first it might feel that way,
but when you ask, like when you're seeking change. If
you ask how can I dot dot dot, it implies
(13:56):
there's an answer, and how can I I have more
fun today than I ever thought possible? Is a way
to do it. Say it, let it go. You don't
have to work on it, you don't have to thump
your forehead for answers. And what you'll find is, at
the end of the day, if you remember to look back,
it actually did turn out to be more fun than
(14:17):
you thought. And the reason that I advocate for that
is because that's the place you want to make decisions from,
is when you're in a different mindset. And it can
be really hard when things you know, when when you
know it's it's all falling apart. Sometimes it's coming together,
we just don't see it yet. But making big decisions
(14:41):
can open up things you know. It can be hard,
It can feel like why did I try? Why did
I start this? What am I thinking? But keep going
because there is there is an end to it, and
I believe that if we're as Tony Robbins said, you know,
I learned a lot from from other people. I like
(15:01):
to give them credit. Was you know, when the pain
becomes bigger than the unknown, we'll take that step. And
that was what motivated me to change things from you know,
an abusive childhood that stuck with me for thirty or
forty years. I lost count after a while, a lot
(15:21):
of processing.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yes, and I want to tell the audience and you
can refresh my memory as to where they can find
it on LinkedIn. You posted and I heard the audio
being a late bloomer. Folks, you got to listen to
that because that is so powerful. I think I cried
(15:47):
when I I cried and I laughed, Lonnie when I
heard that, because I could so I so related to you.
You know, remember my own father tell me, oh, I'd
be more proud of you if you were an r
N you know, registered nurse. Uh'd be more proud of
(16:07):
you if you blah blah blah. And you know, it's
just very and I'm thinking to myself, I think I
might even say this to my father. I said, oh, really,
I said, I'd be more proud of you if you
had a master's degree in business.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I was a family rebel. My father was a salesman
who really didn't He didn't make a good living and
he was out of work a few times, so I
was like, you know, but my parents are very into
status for people who didn't have status that they wanted,
and I, you know, did that is that was phenomenal?
(16:56):
Can can you refresh my memory of the name of
that audio?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, that was called It's called Encouragement for the Late Bloomer,
And it's the name of the chapter that I wrote
my short story, and all these short stories are mini memoirs.
Is taking a chapter out of your life, and in
this particular one for the advocates, the healers and heeding
(17:23):
a higher calling. That's the name of the book. I
really ruminated over what to write about, and I'll tell you, Betsy,
I'd done a similar theme before, and I went on
YouTube because I like to voice my chapters so that
it can be more accessible for people. And what I
noticed was previously I had done something I labeled it
(17:46):
are you a Late Bloomer? And that thumbnail, that particular
video got more views than any of the other ones.
And that's when it hit me. I was like, you know,
I remember being thirty feeling like a miss saying something
I should have it together by now, and then hitting
forty and thinking the same thing. And then before I
(18:06):
knew it. I was fifty five and now I'm over sixty,
and I just started a career seven years ago, a
new one again, and that feeling like you're missing it somehow.
I wanted to eliminate that, because it's really a journey
and maybe all the all the steps that it's taken
(18:28):
have been to build this new opportunity that I've now
been able to do with other people. But I didn't
know it at the time. I just you know, I
grew up in a critical household too, and when you
have that, you tend to carry it with you even
though you've left the house.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Right, And then their anciety said, you're doing it wrong,
because if you don't have that tape running in your
head long enough, then it's you know you didn't. Where's
the two point two kids, the white picket sense and
the husband? Well I never had those. I thought I
was doing it wrong all this time. And then I
ended up in sharing an apartment with a girl who
(19:13):
did do that all of it, check check all the boxes.
And she ended up divorced, leaving the house with the
picket fence and the job as sitting at the other
end the same sofa with me sharing an apartment, and
I thought about the journey that got me there, and
(19:34):
I was so glad that mine was filled with adventure,
that I went where the wind blew me, that I
shook convention and I said, no, I want to do
these things instead. And it's not easy, but I'm sticky.
I did it that way. I got to be kind
(19:58):
of the cool thing.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yes, it's like, uh, why, it's like people try to
put on parents. They mean well most of the time,
but and even teachers, you know, they put children in
boxes and they crush their creativity that they have. Or
you should be this, or you should you know, be that,
(20:23):
and you know girls don't do this and boys don't
do that, and you know they just I think you
should just let people blossom and be their own. You know,
they've created in their own way may not fit conventional.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You know, you know, you're you're you know, I often
point out, you know, babies are born with a blank mind.
They don't come in with these ideas. Somebody has given
them to them. And you know what, with that in mind,
get the bigger raser out and change your mind, because
these things that are forced fan into us may not
be our truth. There's someone else's idea of how life goes,
(21:07):
and you get to figure that out. And I wanted
to encourage people that are thinking they've missed the mark,
they didn't make it, they're a failure. I wanted to
encourage them. You might be a late bloomer, honey, but
I'll tell you what. There's a tree I'm looking at
right now that still has all the pink blooms on
it and everything else is green. So guess what stands
(21:30):
out the late bloomer. I love it.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Oh, I did too. I have interviewed people on my
show that are writing books in their seventies and eighties
and sixties. They're doing a second career and our bestseller.
It's just incredible because you know, you think you can't
(21:54):
do it. And I was talking about this with another guest,
failing and people are afraid of failure. Failure to me
is not even trying. You're going to make mistakes. That's
how you learn. Most of your successful people they got
there because they made mistakes. They learned from their mistakes,
and they went forward knowing with the knowledge to improve.
(22:19):
You know what where the mistake was and how to
improve on it. So it's not failing. It's really working
out the kinks that need to be worked out to
get to that product that you want, or the book
or your business, whatever you are striving to accomplish. I'll
(22:44):
share this with Jilani. I'm a very open book. I'm
very open and honest with my guests, my audience. I
never ever pictured interviewing people. I mean, if anyone would
have told me seven eight years ago by the interviewing people,
I would say, you're nuts. There's no way. And I
(23:09):
think sometimes circumstances happen in our life to bring us
where we should be, that where we never thought we
would be if it weren't for those circumstances. Does that
makes sense true?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Oh? Boy, doesn't know I got a story for I
was just yeah, it's so true, and I hope that
this stands as as inspiration for others. I had just
come off of the best paying gig as a ghostwriter
that I'd ever had. I'd manifested and I'd won out
(23:44):
of one hundred people that she you know, that applied
and it was a tremendous success. So excited and it
was and somebody let me know, next time, you should
charge forty thousand because you're a book producer, you're not
just a ghostwriter. You can do all the parts, and
that's extremely rare. And I was like, yeah, right on, okay,
(24:04):
I'm ready, and I didn't. And often the mistake is
we don't listen to her still small voice because it's
still a small voice. And what happened is my still
small voice said no, no, don't do it, not now,
not now. Oh no. I'd gone roller skating for my
(24:25):
sixtieth birthday. I spin around and turned backwards to stop,
but they were regret they were racing skates, not boot
high boot skates. I lost my balance. I fell in
mid air. I knew. My brother said, don't put your
hands out. Don't put your hands out whenever you fall, don't.
(24:46):
So I landed hard on my hip. I landed so
hard I bounced three times, my hip to my spine
to my left wrist, which went snap snap, and I
broke my wrist in two places with the bone sticking out.
And oh, my intuitions, I know, push you back in,
push that heart to me thinking about yeah, it was bad,
(25:09):
you know, throw up because it's you know, it makes
you sick. It hurts so much, right, yeah, and so
uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Long.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
The long and short of it is I can only
type with one hand now. And there went the career,
There went my creativity, There went everything that I had
planned on and and it was oh god moment, and
I was like, well again, here we go again. Why
(25:39):
can't it work out for me? What the heck? Well,
somebody painted a picture of possibility and and I'd been
working off and on for him for a few years
as an editor, and he said that I was really
good at story development. And by the way, did you
(26:00):
know that people can write a chapter in a weekend?
And I was like what, yeah, Oh, it painted the
possibility for me. And because of that need that I had,
I suddenly went from loving my lone wolf lifestyle and
(26:22):
I still do, to looking for people who wanted to
be published, hosting a writing workshop that I didn't know
I was capable of doing, and publishing a book days later,
then marketing it to hit the bestseller list. I wouldn't
(26:43):
have needed any of that if I hadn't fallen that day,
But because what I mean by need is I wouldn't
have needed to know. I would have still been looking
for ghostwriting jobs, but instead, over the last sixteen. In
eighteen months, over one hundred people have been in the books,
(27:05):
and it's changed their lives, and it's helped them to
build their careers, and it's been the most frustrating and
rewarding work I've ever done.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's an incredible story. I heard someone say one time,
you know, don't ask why, ask why not? And we
don't see the bigger picture sometimes, you know, of going
down to a certain road or why certain circumstances happened
to us. And I can honestly say that, you know,
(27:44):
my husband's journey for Alzheimer's changed me into such a
completely different person. I mean I does might sound weird, folks,
but you know what, I'm now grateful for that journey
because I'm a better person. I found my strength, I
found my gifts, I found my voice, and I want
(28:05):
to use it the time I have left to help
change this world, to help people. And if it wasn't
for Matt to Oldheimer's, I want to be doing this,
that's for sure. I never.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
I never saw i'd be doing what I'm doing either, right,
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
That when I used to do videos my car Lani,
I used to do videos about you know, caregiving and
trying to dispel the the myths of Oldheimer's. And I
put out to different caregiving groups, thinking, oh, no, one's
going to listen to me. Who's going to listen to me?
And people did listen, and I was shocked at their response.
(28:59):
But like going into my car, that's how I met
Jeanie White, who's the station manager, and she discovered me.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
And I did in your car making videos. Yeah, yeah,
that's awful.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, And she saw one of my videos one night
and she contacted me and I went on her show.
She interviewed me, and she asked me if I would
speak on her show weekly, and I was so honored
and shocked. And then after a year she said, Betty,
think you should have your own show. I mean never
(29:40):
would have thought, you know that I would be. I
never would have asked, you know, because I tell you know,
I can't. I can't do that. And folks, as I say,
I'm an open book, sometimes I have to battle Betsy.
Betsy as the battle see because sometimes I think what
(30:02):
am I doing? What am I doing talking to this
person I'm not in their caliber and feeling like good enough?
And I had to sit to myself, well, you are
good enough. And I had to have talks with myself
every day, folks. I mean, this is sometimes what we
(30:24):
have to do. We have to look in the mirror
and do a positive self talk for ourselves because in
some you know, sometimes we or our own dumbass.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Well, yeah, I mean it brings up like when in
that term in that audio you heard encouragement for the
late Bloomer. I referred to the invitation to be on
a show called Making It, and I went through my
own personal have I made it? According to who? According
(30:58):
to what? I listen? I looked at the names of
the people that were on the show before me. I
was so intimidated. I was like, what, I don't know
that I can. I almost canceled, almost canceled because in
my head, I was like, what am I doing getting
on this show? And like you, you know, we all
(31:23):
I think we all go through it. But I wanted
to share this bit because what ended up happening. Huh.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
What ended up.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Happening was a note that came back after the interview,
and the producer said he'd done over one hundred interviews
and this was the one he'd been looking for the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Wow, I was.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I know, I was blown away and here I almost canceled.
So if you're listening out there and you get an opportunity,
or go create an opportunity and rise to the occasion,
because you might surprise yourself and everybody else.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, yeah, why that is uh, that's very that's so true.
When I started to do videos in my mom she
had heard a couple She said, Betsy, what happened to you?
When did you get like this? Because I was very quiet.
(32:36):
I was, you know, shy and quiet, and I didn't
voice my opinions because there's a lot of competition with
four children to be heard, and I knew I wasn't
going to be hurt, so I just figured why even bother.
But when I was angry and it was my anger
(32:58):
that turned into a passion and about how my husband
and I were treated in the medical community, I couldn't
let it destroy me. I couldn't let that anger defeat me.
I said, well, what can I do? Well, you know what,
I'm going to go in my car and I'm just
gonna spew out what I have to say. It was
cathartic for me, so never thought it would lend me
(33:23):
to where to what I'm doing today, I just say, yeah,
I just never thought of it. And I just feel
blessed to you know, meet people like Gilani and to
be able to help people, and that's what here for.
(33:44):
And I heard about your audio encouragement for late Bloomer.
I was here yelling in New Jersey. Yes I cur
late now. I remember you were talking about that talk show.
And when I heard you talk about that, I said,
that's how I feel sometimes before I interview, you know,
(34:07):
some guests, That's how I feel. What am I doing
interviewing this person? And then you know it turns out
to be really great and they were very nice. And
you know, we don't we just don't know Annie, how
far our ripples travel. We really don't, for good or negative.
(34:29):
You know, we just don't know. But true, I know
you're closing not just ripples. I think you're closing a
tsunami of good energy out there because you're just you know,
a phenomenal. Your story and what you have to say
(34:54):
is just it's remarkable. I like the chat after in
your book, and it stood out to me where you
asked your father for advice about marrying someone.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Oh god, oh god, oh And.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
How that didn't turn out how you wanted. And you know,
you didn't see the red flags that were there until
after I did.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I did, and I hold my dad who was post
positioning himself as the experts. You know, now he's never
had a fight with his now a fourth wife, and
that's fine. It takes what it's no judgment, it's okay.
But he positioned himself as you know everything. I figured
it all out, and I was like, what do I
You want me to tell the story real quickly, but yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
(35:51):
picture this. I'm in Australia, which is so I'm out
of the country. I'm on a visa. That so that's
tenants his residency. It's temporary at best. And and I
met somebody he really pursued me. I was like, no, no, no,
I don't want to fall in love. And I did
in the pan food ale at the grocery store. Lightning
bull hit me. I fell in love with the guy.
(36:13):
But there were red flags. So I called my dad
and I said, are these you know, pre wedding jitters,
Is this something to look out for? Because remember he
posts he's the smartest man in the room. Just ask
him and he'll tell you, and uh, am I making
(36:37):
a mistake because I was. I was forty six at
the time. I've waited my whole life to get married, obviously,
and I didn't want to mess it up. And so
I was like, can you what should I do? And
and is this a blessing so that I can stay
(36:58):
in the country because I really wanted to stay in Australia.
Is this is this warning flags? And so I went
through a whole bunch of stuff and then he says, well, Sissy,
what's his last name? And I said Cox? He said Cox,
said you had a Cox? He said, huh, that doesn't
(37:19):
sound Aboriginal. Just marry him.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I like.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
What, I don't know if that was callous, racist or
you're just trying to get rid of me. You know.
I had no courage to say those things. I was
too blown away by the brush off answer. And I
did marry him. And that was when I learned about
domestic violence so bad, so much. I didn't know a
body could cry that much for six eight months. I
(37:51):
don't know, river of tears. Bad bad situation, stuck in
another country, bad situation. I don't blame my dad, but dang,
huh that you know later, much later, like on his deathbed.
(38:12):
Later I learned how much of a liar he was.
So wow, you know yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yeah that not you know we miss sometimes we don't
want to hear that small voice telling us. We wanted
to listen to our gut telling us. I went instinct,
this isn't right. Sometimes we just don't want to you.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I had never felt so so much for someone, and
people would look at me though you light up when
he comes in the room. He pursued me. He looked
everything about me, and as soon as we got married,
he hated everything about me, right down to the color
lipstick I wore. It was like a bait and switch.
Nobody saw it coming. It was insane, And years later
(39:10):
when I went back to Australia, he said, yeah, I
was intimidated and I felt powerful by chasing you around
the house and making you cry.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Oh okay, well that's awful. Yeah wow, I'm so sorry
you experienced that.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Yeah, that's uh yeah, that's the lot of red flags
when dating someone who's shown their red flags of being abusive.
And I've done the shows on domestic violence, unless they
hide it very well. But did he you call it
(39:58):
love bomb you.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I would say, so, yeah, that's their motives.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
They love bomb you and you maybe they make you
feel secure at first, and then you tell them like
your insecurities, then they use that against you.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Yeah, it didn't take much. Everything was a weapon. If
I was making a grocery list, it was, oh, what
do you write? Which boyfriend are you're writing to back
in the States now? And I was like, you know what,
this guy doesn't know how lucky he is. He got
Donna Reed for a wife. I'm a professionally trained chef,
and I could. I took care of that guy like
he'd never seen before, you know, all kinds of ways.
(40:42):
You know, it was wonderful, had a sweet little house
right across the beach. It could have been great. But
he couldn't stand it. He had to destroy it. Who
knew that was coming?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Oh, as I said, that was a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
It wasn't there, and let to tell about it. So
here we are. And you know what with the work
that I do now, BET's say, with the transformatory And
I didn't create the title of the workshops. The writers did.
They said, Lonnie, these are transformational writing workshops. You really
create an environment where people feel instantly safe. They because
(41:24):
I pre screen. I don't screen. I pre interview everybody.
There's no sign up and pay here button on my website.
I make sure by having a discussion who's coming in,
what they have to say, what their stories about, all that,
and make sure and by the time they get there,
I know how the crowd's going to blend, and they do.
(41:46):
And it also is there isn't much I haven't done.
So if you want to let it all hang out
with yours, truly, you're going to find acceptance in my
circle and whatever it is that you came to share
or bear, I'm okay with that. And I think that's
what makes these stories so impactful. If they feel free
(42:10):
to let themselves feel free to express themselves.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
What a blessing it must be to have you as
a writing and story coach.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
I think that would be amazing. So so you help
people write their books, I can do that too, and.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, absolutely. What it found is that the idea of
a book can be so overwhelming people never get started,
and so that what I helped them do. I do
help people get their books done. Absolutely, I just did.
It just came off of a book. With these the
author books, they're not to be underestimated if they're done right.
(43:04):
And I spell that with a W W RI I
t E. When you get with the right person, it
works out. It's an opportunity to see how to construct
a story because usually people like, I'm still alive. Word
does it end? I'm like, first of all, I'm not
putting your life in a chapter. We're taking a chapter
(43:26):
out of your life, and I'll help you figure out
where it ends. Well, how do I open and what
goes in the middle? I get it. I totally will
help you. I get it. Those are the same questions
a person has about a book of their own, a
solo book. The solo book is a much bigger venture
(43:48):
because you're on your own when it comes to the
bigger picture, which is marketing that book, getting the word out.
With a multi author book, everybody's on the same team
and it's a book blitz, and we do it together
and there's support and it really helps embolden the writers.
(44:09):
In fact, five people, at least five people have been
in my workshops and gone on to become competition. There
you go, but they don't use the story developments I
know and I think I'm the only one who does
the pre pre call. Story development calls are very important.
(44:29):
I make sure to help a person figure out their message,
and that's everything. We're not just blah blah blah on paper.
It needs to be written for the reader. So I
help them figure out who they're writing to and why
that way there's a point, and I make sure that
they don't traumatize the readers along the way and that
(44:54):
they land them softly and leave enough to be I
want to know more. I want to work this person.
I just read their story. So it's a mix of
a personal peel and reveal out something or a change,
a message, a pivot you made for the positive, how
are you better not better? And how can that help
(45:17):
promote your business? Showing your personal side because I'm a
marketing minded writer first, and so I helped them figure
out how to convey what they want to say in
a way that helps to without being salesy, pitchy, preachy
or teachee to show what they do and why they
(45:39):
do it. So then in these weekend workshops, they are
given resources they'll use forever, whether you're writing a post
on LinkedIn or articles, or your own book. You're given
the structure to take with you and recordings from the
(46:03):
teachings still there, so that whatever, whenever the time comes again,
whatever it is that you want to do next, you've
got a really solid foundation and it's not so scary.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
That sounds, Uh, phenomenal, Lonnie. How do people get in
touch with you? They want to attend a workshop and
inquire about your workshop and all things, Lonnie Ray.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Well, thanks, Betsy book be okay, Lonnie. Booklonnie dot com
will take you to the website and there's multiple ways
to book a call. And I'm the only Lonnie on LinkedIn,
so el o and n ee and you can find there.
(47:02):
Those are the easiest ways. I'm going to start a substack.
That's new. Yeah, this just in how to get published
without getting burned.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
That's oh that sounds good. Yeah, that sounds good. And
your book how to deal with the dumb ass what
to do and say when they come your way? That's
on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yep, it's on Amazon. It's if you don't like Amazon.
A lot of people have a problem with a billionaire
these days. You can find it on.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
I've heard of bookshop that's getting very popular. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Bookshop org is is a place you can find that
that book, as well as a couple others I've done.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
So, And do you have a a podcast that people
can listen to? Are you on YouTube? Where can I
find your your words of wisdom like God, the one
about the Late Bloomer?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Yeah? Yeah, encouragement for the late Bloomer. You can find
almost I think I have voiced every chapter and they're
on YouTube at rattled Awake Books. So you guys know,
I have a dozen books called rattled Awake, the rattled
Awake series. What happened for you over the last five years?
What shook you?
Speaker 1 (48:35):
You know?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
And that's that's why it is what it is, battled Awake.
And so if you go to YouTube and you can
type in my name, or you can type in rattled
Awake Books, you will find a playlist of probably seventeen
chapters that I've voiced, as well as interviews with authors
(48:58):
and so on. You'll find it all there, and also
the podcast I haven't done. Thanks for asking for reminding me, Bessy.
I did a podcast based on the dumb ast my
dumb Ass book. I'd love to say that, and my
dumb Ass podcast is called how to Deal with the
dumb Ass a Spiritual Perspective, and you can find that
(49:18):
on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, and it's
short form, eleven to fifteen minutes long. And those are
laugh riots and real life examples of the points made
in the book itself. If you'd rather listen and laugh
with me, hopefully a webs fit of that.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Can you repeat your podcast again?
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Sure? How to Deal with a dumb Ass a spiritual perspective,
and you can find it everywhere you listen to us.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, oh that's I'm gonna help, But listen to that
A spiritual perspective. Okay, Yeah, So I.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Threw a perspective in parentheses underneath how to Deal with
the Dumbass, And you'll see a laughing donkey on the cover.
You'll see it busy. It's and you know what, that's funny. Yeah,
and it's meant to be because when we're dealing with people,
I think people like, oh, it's a Jedgie title. No,
(50:21):
actually it's not. If somebody cuts you off on the highway,
you probably do scream dumbas. We all do it. We've
all been affected by people that aren't paying attention and
the trick is to not take that agro with us
back home or to the office. And how to deal
with the dumbas is a way to shake off those
those moments. That's really about protecting your piece. That's what
(50:42):
that book's about.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yes, yes, I highly recommend it. Well, I don't have
to check out your podcast and your other recordings because
you know, the one that I did listen to was
very motivating and inspiring and like you know what, I
(51:05):
really want to listen to more and we should listen
to people that inspire us. So folks, in my own
humble opinion, I thank you all should listen to Lannie
Ray because she is very motivating and aspiring and you
will get a lot out of listening. And Lonnie Ray,
(51:30):
thank you for coming on my show. You are really
a treasure, a treasure trove wisdom and shining your white
out to the world. And I'm so grateful to be
connected with you and to have you on to talk
(51:52):
to you on my show.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Thank you, Thanks, thank you so much, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
One, thank you, Oh you are welcome. Oh thank you
mine too, and my pleasure, folks, all the information about
Ronnie Ray. We'll be in the blog that Genie White,
who's the station manager, writes, and Gennie produces the show,
and all of this is possible because of Lilan cold
(52:21):
Well see a pastoral talk radio network. And I want
to thank everyone for listening and subscribing. If you don't
already subscribe to Chatting with Betsy, it is for free
on Amazon Music, Spotify, Spreaker to name a few, and
to share this show with a friend. Tell your friends
(52:43):
about Chatting with Betsy because I have excellent experts on
and you never know who's going to be coming on
or what they'll be talking about. The se is a
surprise and you will definitely benefit from hearing my guests.
And you can follow me on Facebook Betsy Worzel, w
r z e L and I have a support group
(53:05):
hashtag kick Alzheimer's as movement. And as I always say
at the end of my show, in a world where
you could be anything, please be kind and shine your
life right because we need it now more than ever before.
Till we chat again, be safe. This is Betsy Worzel.
(53:28):
You're a host of Chatting with Betsy. I'm Patrick World
Talk Radio usbsidiary of Global Media Network LLC, Bye bye now,
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