August 3, 2025 • 44 mins
This is Chewing The Cud! Your weekly LGBTQIA+ Chat Show!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're watching Chewing the Cud with Lee Robertson and Mike Benny.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And Rome spent roast in this weather deer, No, I'll
ask some cheese and toast. Then. Hello, it's Leigh Robertson
and with me today is the right hand who hasn't
got a clue what the left hand is doing. It's Mike,
Benny and Roe.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Hello, they're both doing that.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Oh, I hate you when you do that.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Because you get jealous.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Spent special this week, isn't it Mike?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yes, it is, Yes, it is Lee. We have been
doing the show for a few years.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Now, I would say a good decade. No, is it
about twenty years?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Ten?
Speaker 4 (01:00):
About six?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Is he about six?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Six? Maybe seven? Yeah, it's been a lot of fun, right,
but all good things must come to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
The Mike's only got a week to live, So we're
just gonna what do not get the email? Got next up? Okay,
make your peace. So it's only right that we look
back at some of our memorable bits when we pack
(01:30):
up the studio. Boo boo, just one crystal ball at
a time.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
More than.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Oh, let's let's Ileen, Aileen, come on, come on, Eileen.
We well, we'll get in touch with the aliens and
see if they want to back or a husband.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Because ibviously lovely you remembered that story from like four
years ago.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
But because it was the best story ever, we were
off turned into a topic Crisp I loved. Did she
did you kill her?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Its insurance.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
It was insurance fraud.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
She's never been seen again.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
She was the end of that store.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
She got found.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
It was insurance fraud.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Was she dead? No?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
She committing insurance.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
There was no definite answer to that. Was it was insure?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Anybody want to find year old toffee Crisp with a
wig on, go to our ey store, gonna set one up.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Let's have some clips.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So on previous shows, I very much talked about my
own personal tastes when it comes to romantic partners. How
are you on folks with the body hairly? Are you
fond of a hairy partner?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I'm a moderate amount. I think if you're having to
kind of shaken back them before you get it on,
it's perhaps a little too much.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
My preferred type of man is very hairy but very short.
You're familiar with the Star Wars like EBox, that's my Yeah.
If you look like you're from the forest mood of
end or then I'm probably wow, probably on board.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Do you like going to zooms a lot? They also
have to be like human human? Yeah, human have made
that very clear.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Well, we've got a story again, a story from this
year about the world's hairiest teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Okay, well that's nothing is still a thing?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Right?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Are you running out of there?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Are you running out of it?
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
No, we died sheeven Gaitlian.
Speaker 7 (04:14):
I can cut it out this whole section.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
There's a documentary coming off about that's him, right, anyway,
we're both fortrolling this person.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay, what.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I just when we were first started all those years
ago and used to just.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Now it's does well, that fucking cake and crease.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm using this foundation so important. But you know what's
the word I was thinking of then?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Award winning? That's two words groundbreaking.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
No, that's two words, and that's true.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Oh brilliant.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I forgot the word.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Inspired, heroic. I can't say that. You can say that
if you want.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I'm not going to no.
Speaker 8 (05:13):
All right, free, it's free. You can listen to it
to go to probably true podcast dot com. Also, it's
probably true on all of your all right, we're not
pod catching device. Also YouTube if you want to see
more of this useful but.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Entertaining, lighthearted as where I was going. All right, there's
it's two words high flat again.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
And that was that was that was worth the five
minutes to hear the.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Hamsters on the wheel. I just lost where I was at.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Sorry all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
It's fine, I apologize for it, rather than what was
I saying?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Thank you for being a friend.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I have the Sophia.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I'll bring you a story about why I shot my
load in my pants. I didn't write that, I say it,
and I will not say those words.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
So it's okay, how good old video now.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Loads five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Will we say it?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
We'll find out.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
It's because he was doing it slowly, and I was like,
what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that I shut
a load in my pants. I'm going to make it.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Make it up about Kylie.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
She concave in which I'm interested. I'm interested in all
beautiful fat much concaves of all that.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Viewers, I'm linking to the daddy even oaks.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Sorry about the beautiful fat people doing that?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Call the throat back social media quick. Yeah, yeah, that
would would that make it worse?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Well, no, because then it'll be easy to poop it,
easy to push out. Yeah, because if you go you
need to go and you're stressed, it's going to be difficult.
So practice relaxation. Gradually, gradually expose yourself to the situation.
Not that face.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Uh not like that. Oh well, like I go in
and like just crouched and like a little bit come
out and go.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
No, one, we're going. We don't necessarily need to go
and just get used to being in the environment.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Snatch tim Yeah, you can come at in a minute.
Speaker 9 (08:09):
Oh if we did a little mouth thing to you, Hello,
little a little mouth, I can eat it.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Can pour out my little bomhole. Just just wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
But yeah, other things, A lot of that has been crowded.
That a minute of laughter, that's gone there.
Speaker 10 (08:38):
Right, we're eating cereal out of a egg.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yes, yes, we are.
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Booze fantastic. I've never done that before.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
That's what the baby Jesus would have wanted when he
was having been killed.
Speaker 10 (08:53):
Yes, I read that somewhere.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yes, So I've got conflicts because I'm being healthy.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I've got what you got, cocoa pops because chocolate and chocolate.
I thought, why not, you know exactly double chocolate.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
They turned the milk chocolatey, so you'll have chocolatey booze.
Speaker 10 (09:10):
God, this is exciting. Can you tell I don't get out.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, I don't get out much at all, so I'm
gonna fill it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Don't don't fill it, phil it eat some space for
the cream to go. Okay, if you want to shot
coco pops, that.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Will bag you, go for it.
Speaker 10 (09:30):
This is my chaser, that's the main.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Okay, yeah, we need to record you shotting.
Speaker 10 (09:37):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What are you gonna do is take some of your
delicious irish cream that's not babies and just gently pour
that in hold the egg as you do.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Okay, like that.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
You are welcome, but don't go anywhere. As coming up,
I don't know because we stopped. We stopped moving the
ottok I got coming up. I'm coming up, so you
better get this party started. Shirley Bassy version.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This is I don't know how I feel about I mean, obviously,
I'm a homosexuals. We don't feel anything.
Speaker 10 (10:24):
In life.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
I'm a homosexual, so I feel nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Well, that's some memories that stick around. As we have
more coming up after this break, welcome back to this
waddle down there. You put that on as a slurt.
(10:57):
It's like a wonderful welcome back to this waddle down
the lane. A big fat bastard. You open your big
facts to watch these. I'm staying in changing that out,
(11:20):
no doubt it would do. Do we need more clips?
I got you can.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Do you have an inspirational quote in a card in
your wallet?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yes? I do, Mike.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
What's it say?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Make love laugh toaster bath. I'm not reading it out
because you're going to take the piss out.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I say that, please, I won't read it out loud.
Oh it's wordy, it's very long.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It's got to wait to it. How I was given
that by very dear friends.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
They're dead, not now, not now for a while.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
That resurrected them. Anyway, Let's see a little bit of
char Have you ever seen the film Edwards Hands I
have loved while adding their own individual flair, the panel
of judges.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Wearing some focus issues.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Rude.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I realized they set for the entire.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What are you trying?
Speaker 11 (12:49):
I said, They've been on for the entire party.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I don't need my box of tissues with a with
a positive information.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Under a pound because you've got yours in your wallet.
I saw a man standing in front of me. It
wasn't the boy I remembered.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
So it was from my mother mic So parents, goodbye
shit gifts.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Just because you fell out of the flup doesn't mean
the gifts. Any quitter.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Fell out of a flop. So competitors were encouraged to
dress up inspired by the stars, famously flamboyant wardrobebout adding
their own flair.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Lee.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You into racing, not as much as I'm into pegging.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, you threw me.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
There, You threw me right, I'm gonna start again.
Speaker 12 (13:54):
I'm prepared now.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, I like that song? Uh did you?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I did?
Speaker 8 (14:02):
You might have ruined it for me?
Speaker 11 (14:04):
Okay, gypsies some foods?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Were you a gothic kind of emo kid at some point?
Speaker 8 (14:15):
I would have been if that was a thing in
a mining town in Yorkshire in the nineteen ROMs.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Yeah, So if I sang something that was quite of
that era of that genre, you might get it. I
might do.
Speaker 13 (14:27):
Yes, Okay, Okay, run up, hold up, well.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Sorry, that's Deed's fault to get there.
Speaker 8 (15:01):
That was that was whether cows play football? Yeah, that
gothic banger edwy.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Let's try something a bit more one.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
It's not staying. There's not a phone.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
What do you do mean?
Speaker 3 (15:25):
There's my phone?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
There's your phone you had in your pocket a minute ago.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
No, I didn't have to it's behind you.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
It's last gard rama phone. Why are you doing, shy,
I've got outside.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Why are you talking to the puppet like it's got
his free will?
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No, lies are not down there down here? Who is
part of family Gorgea who are based in Islington Mill
I'm not sure who. We're not based anywhere, based anywhere,
just floating around in space. This is Banksy from the family.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
So we're taking a moment to remember all of the
fun things that we've done, including our very best in
crafty queens bowls out of bowls and.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Have we got any crafty queen stuff on the show Bounty?
I think they've all disintegrated because they were so very
well made.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, you've got a thing there, that's what was that?
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That wasn't crafty queen's You made that in your time?
Isn't made that? That is the that's the I don't
like to take that off. That is for those for
certain age. We'll remember that it's a test card puppet clown.
(17:03):
It's uncanny. I thought it was slipping the butt, isn't
it well yeah, or smacking a joint yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
And Gary likes to mess with the stuff on Setain
just had to stick teeth on it. Okay, let's have
a look at some more clips. Then he's wrong with you.
Welcome to Lee's penis.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Hour skune really tiny, don't worry. It's because it's winter and.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
This is Mark, who's got a small penis anyway, so
you can't really turn a little bowl.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Of cat food out for it. It's not actually a hedgehog.
Speaker 7 (17:45):
It's not actually, It's just that would be funny though,
wuldn't it? Little head people, we had a fut.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
And in my garden here I have a selection of
wild in my pa. This house.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Better again.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
We're moving on. Okay, okay, how do you feel about technology?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I don't feel about it. Oh I'm that was that
was the eye in me flickering. I'm disturbed and slightly aroused,
slightly around. I've seen photographs and have gone hello. But
then it says Ai, and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Ai, porn is very interesting, difficult.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
They're not getting quite right, yet they haven't.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
But what I also enjoy happening is that the fact
that penis is morph into like three penises at once
at some point.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Or they have like seven hands.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
I don't care about that.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Oh that's a bonus.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Fingers seven fingers less than two fists. You got an
image that, didn't you?
Speaker 5 (18:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, do you know the moment?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
No, it's fine. Out isn't that doesn't do ithog cock?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Not out? Get some cat food please?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Dream is this is?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Other cat treats for penises are available, like treats.
Speaker 7 (19:19):
Who it's too harsh, too harsh, too hush for the peak,
Sorry about a toilet with AI in it? Okay, right, just.
Speaker 12 (19:31):
Bear with me a moment. I'll just tap my fingers
on the table while I'm doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I do some noises while you do the research what
you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 12 (19:42):
Can I care?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I can't.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
I can't follow it anymore.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Mike and the chicken strips?
Speaker 12 (19:56):
Are you relaxedly? Very yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You look quite stressed.
Speaker 12 (20:02):
It's one of those it's a star in the sky,
twinkle twinkle, little star, or it could be it could
be a little tree in the garden. The garden is
a very garden, is a very relaxing place to do a.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
S Mr.
Speaker 11 (20:30):
Coca cocka.
Speaker 12 (20:36):
I think that was very successful, don't you agree?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
So success was not the word I'd use.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And I put it well, Actually, if you hold the
cue the cucumber, I know, if you hold the cauliflower
thing metal bits which droops down like that and catches
on your flammable blouse and then you die, that's what
they want.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
So yeah, choices were made there ly choices.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I'm really going to miss crafty queens. That's what it
says on there. But stay right there as we have
more of this coming up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I'm coming up. So you get the daily to do.
Welcome back, and you are watching you in the cud.
Now as we take you down, we take you down,
the take you down the set, read your cheeks.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
And rammid up you. I'm a bit heart and time
and Randy from the sound of bit oh that hate oh.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Now, as we take down the set, I reminded of
some of the times we didn't do exactly what was
expected of us.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Oh well, like turning up and doing something funny.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Or reading the Autokyo on time.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
That cool.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
So yeah, that's my professional prevent presenter's voice. I went
to college to the Andy Peters School of Presenting. Mm
hm did you pass? You know? After after a while after.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ask not who you know? It's who you blow set
some of clips on?
Speaker 10 (22:35):
That is that was a choice?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, in the US, where they don't like people would
changing names and stuff.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
Interesting, isn't that? Isn't that ironic?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Ironic that this this heterosexual father was able to change
the name of what they've decided is a cisgendered girl
to a cisgender girl's name from something that they didn't
think was fitting.
Speaker 8 (22:56):
Hmm.
Speaker 10 (22:58):
Strange behavior.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Yeah, it's almost like his name doesn't really matter anyway.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Unikite though, it sounds like they're quite like Unkite. It
sounds like a drag name, wasn't it.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It sounds like the creator of a kite company?
Speaker 10 (23:15):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But what what did you work for all make kites? What?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Really?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
What company? Unikite?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Nice?
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I got kites?
Speaker 10 (23:20):
Yeah, kind of like iPhone? But you nick.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Anyway, there's gonna be a pee wee there is stop it,
stop it.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Deed stop suggested because I can't get over my head.
(24:06):
You're going to be so upset with this one just
because it exist.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
I'm upset with myself.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Week Bicyclen Candentcy. Oh do you know that one?
Speaker 6 (24:16):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Oh yeah, week Aus I no tears for you?
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I know that, but that's not what
I was hearing. But I know that song.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, okay, I'm show a picture of scruttled wrath. Oh no,
just that, well so far it's just that. Well won
Will you ever be able to show a picture of
scuttle wrath? Well? Week after week I ask, and it
never happens. Yes, is it? Gallery? Tim Simms John Sims, Well.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
A museum is going on tour.
Speaker 10 (24:55):
A museum, A museum is going on tour, right, Like
take that?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Like take that the museum. Let's standing up and going.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I don't know the lyrics. This is the museum in
Sanddown in the Isle of Wight, and it is the
National Pool.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Museum Pool as in p double O L drop the
l yes.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh museum. It's their website for that again, the specialist websites.
But this is this is oh.
Speaker 10 (25:27):
So they made a bouncy ball out of it.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Yes, they have suspended different types of pool in resin
and they go around they're going around the country showing
people the different types of pool.
Speaker 10 (25:38):
Do they need donations that they will be charging for admission?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
This is interesting animal human, dinosaur, not dinosaur because they
don't exist, but anymore, very different.
Speaker 10 (25:56):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, so great for a secret sumer and a gift
for present.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Right, you can't steal from museums Paris.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Maybe the gift shop or something like, you know, and
make a great gift. Don't steal kids, don't.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Get caught stealing.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Right, you think you'll get that good to go to that?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Do you know what I would love to go. I
love the fact that it's going on tour. Pooh is
going on tour a Pooh museum. I want to see
all the different types, you know, the dehydrated ones, the
freeze dried ones, you know, the ones with fruit in it,
the you know, the ones with sweet cory the night before. Yeah,
(26:39):
I want to see it all. I mean, it's not
something that I'm into in that way, but I'm open
to going to learn about Pooh.
Speaker 10 (26:47):
You know, because we all do it.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
We do.
Speaker 10 (26:49):
Indeed, we might as well look at it in a building.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Why not look at suspended poo On a Saturday afternoon
people pay for this this week. This is it's obscure,
which is good. Thanks Mike, and then you just reference
(27:14):
thanks that I always want to know what poo would tastes.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Like, tastes like, Thanks Mike.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm so thrilled that you've got to educate us about
pooh museums. And now I can't wait to see everybody's pooh,
including yours.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Please don't share it. Put You're welcome, Paris, stay right there.
Coming after this short break, we go up to State
with Joan down The Joan down the bookie said she
wanted one, and you know Joan knows art because she
works in the bookies and other lies.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Parents tell hid you can put that, you can put
that foldable temper another one. What are you doing, Jesus?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
I'm not doing Jesus.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
And why that Catherine tight sketch?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Oh no, I've blown a hole in my boy.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Well there's small, but there's raw morbulers. But the rover
here you have to come and get them.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I think I'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I think do you think you'll manage?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
They can't manage without. To be fair, I.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Think you did it on purpose.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
And you can see the names of people reached out
and touched on gaping souls going along the bottom of
the screen. But now it's time for Paris in the Spotlight?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Is that who wrote that bottom cure?
Speaker 3 (28:38):
At three am?
Speaker 10 (28:41):
Do that get gaping holes in Paris in the Spotlight?
My god, all.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
The word gaping was just flung in there.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
That's all right, mhmm. You can't hear what they've just said.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It was very unhelpful.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
He has a good one, though.
Speaker 12 (29:12):
I guess it depends on which hand.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I know, gentle go for that side, want something powerful?
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Yeah, yeah, he doesn't look happy with this.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I wonder if he's like it must have been a
sort of unbalanced all the time, if he's got like
one hinge side and one sort of thin side. Yeah, awful, awful.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Opinions are divided on viewing it as social commentary and
concerns over promoting unhealthy practices. I mean, one would hope that,
you know, like when when I was a kid watching TV,
they would always say, don't try this at.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Home, don't try this at home.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
You know, the TikTok doesn't say that, does it. It
don't say don't try this at home?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
No?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Is that enough?
Speaker 5 (30:06):
We need to waffle on about that longer.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Brilliant.
Speaker 5 (30:14):
A warning for us, all, Lee, A warning for us all.
That is all we've got from the buzz this week.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Thank you very much. I will make sure I train
both sides of my body, not just one.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
I thought he said, trim both sides of your body.
I thought we were back on the air.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Then trim and train.
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Yeah, that'd be a nice thing. Just be like, see,
that would be a healthy You're not going to get
spinal conditions from just shaving one side.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Another spade so he can dig a bigger hole with.
Speaker 10 (30:48):
That'd be a beautiful thing, wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
It shave one side of my body?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Anybody's body? Lovely Chesney Hawks.
Speaker 8 (31:02):
There's a photo of a bat and I think it
went back to COVID. Right, Okay, wow is it not
the best work I met, but still.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
It Mouse? Do you mean like a deflator mouse? Yeah?
What do you mean? Like a big wooden thing here?
Speaker 10 (31:21):
No?
Speaker 8 (31:22):
I know Gigantica.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
La mouse.
Speaker 8 (31:27):
Yeah that's an opera, yes, but it means it's German
for the flutter mouse, which is the German word.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
For where did we find this?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
That is what all gay people are awarded after, like
twenty years of being a gay. It's a SpongeBob SquarePants
Award for felching.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
And you've been awarded this. Yes, okay, Hello, I hope
you're enjoying this as much as we are living with
the felty references.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
You don't even watch it. We don't even watch it, Mike.
But to everyone who is watching, stay there. As we
get more clips coming up, we get more clips coming up.
We've got more clips coming up. I'm just really trying
not to say clicked.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Welcome back to Chewing the cud as we close down
the set for the last time.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Oh boo, squish wish. But we still have some memories
to share with you like these. It could be a.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
Live art installation, just sort of like lovely Natural naked
man just shaved smooth on one side, her suit on tother.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Nobody's listening out there, there's a homosexual trapped in a studio.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
I think I could get grant money for that.
Speaker 10 (33:05):
I'd do it.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
I'd let people watch me shave half.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Of my body. I would like to see that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Let's do it next time. Next time.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh alwa's gone sweaty hm hm hmm. Well, commas, did.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
You see what I did with it.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
From what linked that's why did you look at it?
I trust kind of yourself.
Speaker 9 (33:56):
Let's swallow it, good boy, good boy, swallow it for daddy.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Oh a, I spirit, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
I didn't put it down with.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
The fusion forms the scrotum and the penis, leaving a
visible line from the anus through the parodem on the
scrotum so actually goes all the way down.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I'm aware I have fingered myself.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Oh dear, okay, I know I have fingered myself.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Where are the tissues? There were none, little bab bit
womb Oh is their finger in myself?
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Or hate it here?
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Justus all gun. It doesn't matter because he's going to
put that in.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I'm going to strategically cut to a test card at
that point because I'm going to have legoing.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Well, I'm aware I have test card.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Okay, I'm not going to leave the finger biting, because
that would be true, but I have beep and just
test card. And then because I can come back with okay,
that's a direction. Sorry, okay, So yes, I don't know
(36:11):
how to follow on from that revelation of you and
what you've just done.
Speaker 10 (36:20):
Me.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, and then Paris will bring us up, and then
Paris will be bringing us all up to date with
everything they've been up to, including an exciting tease of
something new in Spotlight. But on screen now you can
see how contact details. We are at the kud TV
on social media where you can follow us and catch
up with previous episodes from doing that again, because.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
It was showing I need sleep.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Havn't that.
Speaker 10 (36:54):
Yes for an award show?
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Uh? Wasn't an award?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
I want to be the award one can dream? So
the British LGBT Awards nominations loud, what's happened for these?
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I want to be the want to be passed around
like a bugler of frat pie.
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Oh my god, can we make this happen? Donate We'll
start that again.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, that's fine, quite problem.
Speaker 8 (37:34):
Joan Rivers drag queen, Yeah, true drag queen. Yeah, it'd
be nice if she came back from beyond the grave.
I think that'd be fantastic. When I learned my new spells,
then yeah, I'll give it a guy crushing on m M.
The l Words spin off show was called The g
(37:56):
Spot Queer or not Quite. I feel like that's going
to be true, queer not quite called the real L word,
which I'd have gone with a juice spot much better name.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
I don't know how he speaks.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I don't know how just just peper, But.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That's it's just the same as the just a child
snap one. They got any drugs? No, you can't do that, Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
In that situation, then you are going around a zoo
oo oh come.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
These Oh no about a bit, Prince Charles, then.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Did it?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
These monkeys they are eating. I can't do it. They're
eating I can't why kind of not because it's such
a hideous, hideous human being and my brain will not
allow me to Donald Trump, Yes, oh she's tight.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
I was sticking your fist up.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Y's right. I didn't smell it because you sat on it.
She smelled perfume, and I was like, I'm sure I
didn't spray with perfume. But then as I smiled, it
was like, you sat on that, and now it smells
of your ass.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
It smells like perfume, apparently, Natalie, while you're enjoying your puppet.
I don't know if you've noticed something's missing, Liza, No,
there's something missing here.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
What have you done? You don't. What have you done
with Zen and Cat? Have you? Have you smashed it?
Speaker 3 (39:54):
I promisely I haven't smashed it.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Where is it? People enjoyed that? You enjoyed they enjoyed that? Well,
what have you done with it?
Speaker 3 (40:03):
I can promise you it wasn't smashed.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
What do you think, Lisa? Should we watch the video?
It's a video? The video?
Speaker 3 (40:12):
M h, it's cat a cat?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Well it's at that's not that's not the cat. That's
not the O g one? Is it that? I am positive?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I just what makes you so shoy? Not the O
g one?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Because it doesn't look that the O g one had
has a nicer face.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
It's the oge. It doesn't have a face anymore.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's not the O g One?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Then where is the old one?
Speaker 2 (41:02):
You put it somewhere to hide because you've just got
that off YouTube off YouTube tube?
Speaker 3 (41:11):
So Gary last week? What did I take home with me?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
It hasn't I did it? Hasn't you haven't?
Speaker 3 (41:27):
I feel perfectly, perfectly, perfectly sure. The zencats, No, that's
not it?
Speaker 5 (41:35):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That's not it? That face? That face is a cheap
imitation of the thing. You got tabu of the thing
because it's no nice try Hello.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Okay, where is it?
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Then you put it hidden it somewhere and I can't
see it? Okay anyway, Wow, that's almost the end. No,
it actually is. We would like to thank you for
all the laughs and giggles we have had. It's been
such an honor and a privilege to join you every week.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Hello. Well I'm just under the last of them.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Oh okay, it's the last in this set. We're going
to be back next week.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
H is on my family getting a facelift.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Huh And are you getting a facelift if you want
to pay for it?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
He said that that.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
We're getting a new set. Yeah, but I I you
do need No one's got that much money.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
You said I could have someone ZAMPI.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
I didn't. I said you could have some Marsipan.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Marsipan, it's a well known weight loss. Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Anyway, Yeah, So we will see you all next week,
will we though, Yes, just a new just a new set.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
That's it, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Bye, b very that's very that's very small.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Chode just pre modeled this hill.
Speaker 7 (43:18):
Lisa, Oh god, sorry, why did back upside down the
first time?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
You pretty apsided you put the ball at the top.
She didn't know how you did
You're watching Chewing the Cud with Lee Robertson and Mike Benny.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And Rome spent roast in this weather deer, No, I'll
ask some cheese and toast. Then. Hello, it's Leigh Robertson
and with me today is the right hand who hasn't
got a clue what the left hand is doing. It's Mike,
Benny and Roe.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Hello, they're both doing that.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Oh, I hate you when you do that.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Because you get jealous.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Spent special this week, isn't it Mike?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yes, it is, Yes, it is Lee. We have been
doing the show for a few years.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Now, I would say a good decade. No, is it
about twenty years?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Ten?
Speaker 4 (01:00):
About six?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Is he about six?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Six? Maybe seven? Yeah, it's been a lot of fun, right,
but all good things must come to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
The Mike's only got a week to live, So we're
just gonna what do not get the email? Got next up? Okay,
make your peace. So it's only right that we look
back at some of our memorable bits when we pack
(01:30):
up the studio. Boo boo, just one crystal ball at
a time.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
More than.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Oh, let's let's Ileen, Aileen, come on, come on, Eileen.
We well, we'll get in touch with the aliens and
see if they want to back or a husband.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Because ibviously lovely you remembered that story from like four
years ago.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
But because it was the best story ever, we were
off turned into a topic Crisp I loved. Did she
did you kill her?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Its insurance.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
It was insurance fraud.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
She's never been seen again.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
She was the end of that store.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
She got found.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
It was insurance fraud.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Was she dead? No?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
She committing insurance.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
There was no definite answer to that. Was it was insure?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Anybody want to find year old toffee Crisp with a
wig on, go to our ey store, gonna set one up.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Let's have some clips.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So on previous shows, I very much talked about my
own personal tastes when it comes to romantic partners. How
are you on folks with the body hairly? Are you
fond of a hairy partner?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I'm a moderate amount. I think if you're having to
kind of shaken back them before you get it on,
it's perhaps a little too much.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
My preferred type of man is very hairy but very short.
You're familiar with the Star Wars like EBox, that's my Yeah.
If you look like you're from the forest mood of
end or then I'm probably wow, probably on board.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Do you like going to zooms a lot? They also
have to be like human human? Yeah, human have made
that very clear.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Well, we've got a story again, a story from this
year about the world's hairiest teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Okay, well that's nothing is still a thing?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Right?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Are you running out of there?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Are you running out of it?
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
No, we died sheeven Gaitlian.
Speaker 7 (04:14):
I can cut it out this whole section.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
There's a documentary coming off about that's him, right, anyway,
we're both fortrolling this person.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay, what.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I just when we were first started all those years
ago and used to just.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Now it's does well, that fucking cake and crease.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm using this foundation so important. But you know what's
the word I was thinking of then?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Award winning? That's two words groundbreaking.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
No, that's two words, and that's true.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Oh brilliant.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I forgot the word.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Inspired, heroic. I can't say that. You can say that
if you want.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I'm not going to no.
Speaker 8 (05:13):
All right, free, it's free. You can listen to it
to go to probably true podcast dot com. Also, it's
probably true on all of your all right, we're not
pod catching device. Also YouTube if you want to see
more of this useful but.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Entertaining, lighthearted as where I was going. All right, there's
it's two words high flat again.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
And that was that was that was worth the five
minutes to hear the.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Hamsters on the wheel. I just lost where I was at.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Sorry all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
It's fine, I apologize for it, rather than what was
I saying?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Thank you for being a friend.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I have the Sophia.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I'll bring you a story about why I shot my
load in my pants. I didn't write that, I say it,
and I will not say those words.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
So it's okay, how good old video now.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Loads five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Will we say it?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
We'll find out.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
It's because he was doing it slowly, and I was like,
what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that I shut
a load in my pants. I'm going to make it.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Make it up about Kylie.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
She concave in which I'm interested. I'm interested in all
beautiful fat much concaves of all that.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Viewers, I'm linking to the daddy even oaks.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Sorry about the beautiful fat people doing that?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Call the throat back social media quick. Yeah, yeah, that
would would that make it worse?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Well, no, because then it'll be easy to poop it,
easy to push out. Yeah, because if you go you
need to go and you're stressed, it's going to be difficult.
So practice relaxation. Gradually, gradually expose yourself to the situation.
Not that face.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Uh not like that. Oh well, like I go in
and like just crouched and like a little bit come
out and go.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
No, one, we're going. We don't necessarily need to go
and just get used to being in the environment.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Snatch tim Yeah, you can come at in a minute.
Speaker 9 (08:09):
Oh if we did a little mouth thing to you, Hello,
little a little mouth, I can eat it.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Can pour out my little bomhole. Just just wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
But yeah, other things, A lot of that has been crowded.
That a minute of laughter, that's gone there.
Speaker 10 (08:38):
Right, we're eating cereal out of a egg.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yes, yes, we are.
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Booze fantastic. I've never done that before.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
That's what the baby Jesus would have wanted when he
was having been killed.
Speaker 10 (08:53):
Yes, I read that somewhere.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yes, So I've got conflicts because I'm being healthy.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I've got what you got, cocoa pops because chocolate and chocolate.
I thought, why not, you know exactly double chocolate.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
They turned the milk chocolatey, so you'll have chocolatey booze.
Speaker 10 (09:10):
God, this is exciting. Can you tell I don't get out.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, I don't get out much at all, so I'm
gonna fill it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Don't don't fill it, phil it eat some space for
the cream to go. Okay, if you want to shot
coco pops, that.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Will bag you, go for it.
Speaker 10 (09:30):
This is my chaser, that's the main.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Okay, yeah, we need to record you shotting.
Speaker 10 (09:37):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What are you gonna do is take some of your
delicious irish cream that's not babies and just gently pour
that in hold the egg as you do.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Okay, like that.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
You are welcome, but don't go anywhere. As coming up,
I don't know because we stopped. We stopped moving the
ottok I got coming up. I'm coming up, so you
better get this party started. Shirley Bassy version.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This is I don't know how I feel about I mean, obviously,
I'm a homosexuals. We don't feel anything.
Speaker 10 (10:24):
In life.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
I'm a homosexual, so I feel nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Well, that's some memories that stick around. As we have
more coming up after this break, welcome back to this
waddle down there. You put that on as a slurt.
(10:57):
It's like a wonderful welcome back to this waddle down
the lane. A big fat bastard. You open your big
facts to watch these. I'm staying in changing that out,
(11:20):
no doubt it would do. Do we need more clips?
I got you can.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Do you have an inspirational quote in a card in
your wallet?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yes? I do, Mike.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
What's it say?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Make love laugh toaster bath. I'm not reading it out
because you're going to take the piss out.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I say that, please, I won't read it out loud.
Oh it's wordy, it's very long.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It's got to wait to it. How I was given
that by very dear friends.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
They're dead, not now, not now for a while.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
That resurrected them. Anyway, Let's see a little bit of
char Have you ever seen the film Edwards Hands I
have loved while adding their own individual flair, the panel
of judges.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Wearing some focus issues.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Rude.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I realized they set for the entire.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What are you trying?
Speaker 11 (12:49):
I said, They've been on for the entire party.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I don't need my box of tissues with a with
a positive information.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Under a pound because you've got yours in your wallet.
I saw a man standing in front of me. It
wasn't the boy I remembered.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
So it was from my mother mic So parents, goodbye
shit gifts.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Just because you fell out of the flup doesn't mean
the gifts. Any quitter.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Fell out of a flop. So competitors were encouraged to
dress up inspired by the stars, famously flamboyant wardrobebout adding
their own flair.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Lee.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You into racing, not as much as I'm into pegging.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, you threw me.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
There, You threw me right, I'm gonna start again.
Speaker 12 (13:54):
I'm prepared now.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, I like that song? Uh did you?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I did?
Speaker 8 (14:02):
You might have ruined it for me?
Speaker 11 (14:04):
Okay, gypsies some foods?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Were you a gothic kind of emo kid at some point?
Speaker 8 (14:15):
I would have been if that was a thing in
a mining town in Yorkshire in the nineteen ROMs.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Yeah, So if I sang something that was quite of
that era of that genre, you might get it. I
might do.
Speaker 13 (14:27):
Yes, Okay, Okay, run up, hold up, well.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Sorry, that's Deed's fault to get there.
Speaker 8 (15:01):
That was that was whether cows play football? Yeah, that
gothic banger edwy.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Let's try something a bit more one.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
It's not staying. There's not a phone.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
What do you do mean?
Speaker 3 (15:25):
There's my phone?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
There's your phone you had in your pocket a minute ago.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
No, I didn't have to it's behind you.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
It's last gard rama phone. Why are you doing, shy,
I've got outside.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Why are you talking to the puppet like it's got
his free will?
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No, lies are not down there down here? Who is
part of family Gorgea who are based in Islington Mill
I'm not sure who. We're not based anywhere, based anywhere,
just floating around in space. This is Banksy from the family.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
So we're taking a moment to remember all of the
fun things that we've done, including our very best in
crafty queens bowls out of bowls and.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Have we got any crafty queen stuff on the show Bounty?
I think they've all disintegrated because they were so very
well made.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, you've got a thing there, that's what was that?
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That wasn't crafty queen's You made that in your time?
Isn't made that? That is the that's the I don't
like to take that off. That is for those for
certain age. We'll remember that it's a test card puppet clown.
(17:03):
It's uncanny. I thought it was slipping the butt, isn't
it well yeah, or smacking a joint yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
And Gary likes to mess with the stuff on Setain
just had to stick teeth on it. Okay, let's have
a look at some more clips. Then he's wrong with you.
Welcome to Lee's penis.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Hour skune really tiny, don't worry. It's because it's winter and.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
This is Mark, who's got a small penis anyway, so
you can't really turn a little bowl.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Of cat food out for it. It's not actually a hedgehog.
Speaker 7 (17:45):
It's not actually, It's just that would be funny though,
wuldn't it? Little head people, we had a fut.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
And in my garden here I have a selection of
wild in my pa. This house.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Better again.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
We're moving on. Okay, okay, how do you feel about technology?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I don't feel about it. Oh I'm that was that
was the eye in me flickering. I'm disturbed and slightly aroused,
slightly around. I've seen photographs and have gone hello. But
then it says Ai, and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Ai, porn is very interesting, difficult.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
They're not getting quite right, yet they haven't.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
But what I also enjoy happening is that the fact
that penis is morph into like three penises at once
at some point.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Or they have like seven hands.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
I don't care about that.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Oh that's a bonus.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Fingers seven fingers less than two fists. You got an
image that, didn't you?
Speaker 5 (18:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, do you know the moment?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
No, it's fine. Out isn't that doesn't do ithog cock?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Not out? Get some cat food please?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Dream is this is?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Other cat treats for penises are available, like treats.
Speaker 7 (19:19):
Who it's too harsh, too harsh, too hush for the peak,
Sorry about a toilet with AI in it? Okay, right, just.
Speaker 12 (19:31):
Bear with me a moment. I'll just tap my fingers
on the table while I'm doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I do some noises while you do the research what
you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 12 (19:42):
Can I care?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I can't.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
I can't follow it anymore.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Mike and the chicken strips?
Speaker 12 (19:56):
Are you relaxedly? Very yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You look quite stressed.
Speaker 12 (20:02):
It's one of those it's a star in the sky,
twinkle twinkle, little star, or it could be it could
be a little tree in the garden. The garden is
a very garden, is a very relaxing place to do a.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
S Mr.
Speaker 11 (20:30):
Coca cocka.
Speaker 12 (20:36):
I think that was very successful, don't you agree?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
So success was not the word I'd use.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And I put it well, Actually, if you hold the
cue the cucumber, I know, if you hold the cauliflower
thing metal bits which droops down like that and catches
on your flammable blouse and then you die, that's what
they want.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
So yeah, choices were made there ly choices.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I'm really going to miss crafty queens. That's what it
says on there. But stay right there as we have
more of this coming up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I'm coming up. So you get the daily to do.
Welcome back, and you are watching you in the cud.
Now as we take you down, we take you down,
the take you down the set, read your cheeks.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
And rammid up you. I'm a bit heart and time
and Randy from the sound of bit oh that hate oh.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Now, as we take down the set, I reminded of
some of the times we didn't do exactly what was
expected of us.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Oh well, like turning up and doing something funny.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Or reading the Autokyo on time.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
That cool.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
So yeah, that's my professional prevent presenter's voice. I went
to college to the Andy Peters School of Presenting. Mm
hm did you pass? You know? After after a while after.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ask not who you know? It's who you blow set
some of clips on?
Speaker 10 (22:35):
That is that was a choice?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, in the US, where they don't like people would
changing names and stuff.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
Interesting, isn't that? Isn't that ironic?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Ironic that this this heterosexual father was able to change
the name of what they've decided is a cisgendered girl
to a cisgender girl's name from something that they didn't
think was fitting.
Speaker 8 (22:56):
Hmm.
Speaker 10 (22:58):
Strange behavior.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Yeah, it's almost like his name doesn't really matter anyway.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Unikite though, it sounds like they're quite like Unkite. It
sounds like a drag name, wasn't it.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It sounds like the creator of a kite company?
Speaker 10 (23:15):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But what what did you work for all make kites? What?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Really?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
What company? Unikite?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Nice?
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I got kites?
Speaker 10 (23:20):
Yeah, kind of like iPhone? But you nick.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Anyway, there's gonna be a pee wee there is stop it,
stop it.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Deed stop suggested because I can't get over my head.
(24:06):
You're going to be so upset with this one just
because it exist.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
I'm upset with myself.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Week Bicyclen Candentcy. Oh do you know that one?
Speaker 6 (24:16):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Oh yeah, week Aus I no tears for you?
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I know that, but that's not what
I was hearing. But I know that song.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, okay, I'm show a picture of scruttled wrath. Oh no,
just that, well so far it's just that. Well won
Will you ever be able to show a picture of
scuttle wrath? Well? Week after week I ask, and it
never happens. Yes, is it? Gallery? Tim Simms John Sims, Well.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
A museum is going on tour.
Speaker 10 (24:55):
A museum, A museum is going on tour, right, Like
take that?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Like take that the museum. Let's standing up and going.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I don't know the lyrics. This is the museum in
Sanddown in the Isle of Wight, and it is the
National Pool.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Museum Pool as in p double O L drop the
l yes.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh museum. It's their website for that again, the specialist websites.
But this is this is oh.
Speaker 10 (25:27):
So they made a bouncy ball out of it.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Yes, they have suspended different types of pool in resin
and they go around they're going around the country showing
people the different types of pool.
Speaker 10 (25:38):
Do they need donations that they will be charging for admission?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
This is interesting animal human, dinosaur, not dinosaur because they
don't exist, but anymore, very different.
Speaker 10 (25:56):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, so great for a secret sumer and a gift
for present.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Right, you can't steal from museums Paris.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Maybe the gift shop or something like, you know, and
make a great gift. Don't steal kids, don't.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Get caught stealing.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Right, you think you'll get that good to go to that?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Do you know what I would love to go. I
love the fact that it's going on tour. Pooh is
going on tour a Pooh museum. I want to see
all the different types, you know, the dehydrated ones, the
freeze dried ones, you know, the ones with fruit in it,
the you know, the ones with sweet cory the night before. Yeah,
(26:39):
I want to see it all. I mean, it's not
something that I'm into in that way, but I'm open
to going to learn about Pooh.
Speaker 10 (26:47):
You know, because we all do it.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
We do.
Speaker 10 (26:49):
Indeed, we might as well look at it in a building.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Why not look at suspended poo On a Saturday afternoon
people pay for this this week. This is it's obscure,
which is good. Thanks Mike, and then you just reference
(27:14):
thanks that I always want to know what poo would tastes.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Like, tastes like, Thanks Mike.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm so thrilled that you've got to educate us about
pooh museums. And now I can't wait to see everybody's pooh,
including yours.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Please don't share it. Put You're welcome, Paris, stay right there.
Coming after this short break, we go up to State
with Joan down The Joan down the bookie said she
wanted one, and you know Joan knows art because she
works in the bookies and other lies.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Parents tell hid you can put that, you can put
that foldable temper another one. What are you doing, Jesus?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
I'm not doing Jesus.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
And why that Catherine tight sketch?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Oh no, I've blown a hole in my boy.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Well there's small, but there's raw morbulers. But the rover
here you have to come and get them.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I think I'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I think do you think you'll manage?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
They can't manage without. To be fair, I.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Think you did it on purpose.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
And you can see the names of people reached out
and touched on gaping souls going along the bottom of
the screen. But now it's time for Paris in the Spotlight?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Is that who wrote that bottom cure?
Speaker 3 (28:38):
At three am?
Speaker 10 (28:41):
Do that get gaping holes in Paris in the Spotlight?
My god, all.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
The word gaping was just flung in there.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
That's all right, mhmm. You can't hear what they've just said.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It was very unhelpful.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
He has a good one, though.
Speaker 12 (29:12):
I guess it depends on which hand.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I know, gentle go for that side, want something powerful?
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Yeah, yeah, he doesn't look happy with this.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I wonder if he's like it must have been a
sort of unbalanced all the time, if he's got like
one hinge side and one sort of thin side. Yeah, awful, awful.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Opinions are divided on viewing it as social commentary and
concerns over promoting unhealthy practices. I mean, one would hope that,
you know, like when when I was a kid watching TV,
they would always say, don't try this at.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Home, don't try this at home.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
You know, the TikTok doesn't say that, does it. It
don't say don't try this at home?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
No?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Is that enough?
Speaker 5 (30:06):
We need to waffle on about that longer.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Brilliant.
Speaker 5 (30:14):
A warning for us, all, Lee, A warning for us all.
That is all we've got from the buzz this week.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Thank you very much. I will make sure I train
both sides of my body, not just one.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
I thought he said, trim both sides of your body.
I thought we were back on the air.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Then trim and train.
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Yeah, that'd be a nice thing. Just be like, see,
that would be a healthy You're not going to get
spinal conditions from just shaving one side.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Another spade so he can dig a bigger hole with.
Speaker 10 (30:48):
That'd be a beautiful thing, wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
It shave one side of my body?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Anybody's body? Lovely Chesney Hawks.
Speaker 8 (31:02):
There's a photo of a bat and I think it
went back to COVID. Right, Okay, wow is it not
the best work I met, but still.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
It Mouse? Do you mean like a deflator mouse? Yeah?
What do you mean? Like a big wooden thing here?
Speaker 10 (31:21):
No?
Speaker 8 (31:22):
I know Gigantica.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
La mouse.
Speaker 8 (31:27):
Yeah that's an opera, yes, but it means it's German
for the flutter mouse, which is the German word.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
For where did we find this?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
That is what all gay people are awarded after, like
twenty years of being a gay. It's a SpongeBob SquarePants
Award for felching.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
And you've been awarded this. Yes, okay, Hello, I hope
you're enjoying this as much as we are living with
the felty references.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
You don't even watch it. We don't even watch it, Mike.
But to everyone who is watching, stay there. As we
get more clips coming up, we get more clips coming up.
We've got more clips coming up. I'm just really trying
not to say clicked.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Welcome back to Chewing the cud as we close down
the set for the last time.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Oh boo, squish wish. But we still have some memories
to share with you like these. It could be a.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
Live art installation, just sort of like lovely Natural naked
man just shaved smooth on one side, her suit on tother.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Nobody's listening out there, there's a homosexual trapped in a studio.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
I think I could get grant money for that.
Speaker 10 (33:05):
I'd do it.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
I'd let people watch me shave half.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Of my body. I would like to see that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Let's do it next time. Next time.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh alwa's gone sweaty hm hm hmm. Well, commas, did.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
You see what I did with it.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
From what linked that's why did you look at it?
I trust kind of yourself.
Speaker 9 (33:56):
Let's swallow it, good boy, good boy, swallow it for daddy.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Oh a, I spirit, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
I didn't put it down with.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
The fusion forms the scrotum and the penis, leaving a
visible line from the anus through the parodem on the
scrotum so actually goes all the way down.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I'm aware I have fingered myself.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Oh dear, okay, I know I have fingered myself.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Where are the tissues? There were none, little bab bit
womb Oh is their finger in myself?
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Or hate it here?
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Justus all gun. It doesn't matter because he's going to
put that in.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I'm going to strategically cut to a test card at
that point because I'm going to have legoing.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Well, I'm aware I have test card.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Okay, I'm not going to leave the finger biting, because
that would be true, but I have beep and just
test card. And then because I can come back with okay,
that's a direction. Sorry, okay, So yes, I don't know
(36:11):
how to follow on from that revelation of you and
what you've just done.
Speaker 10 (36:20):
Me.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, and then Paris will bring us up, and then
Paris will be bringing us all up to date with
everything they've been up to, including an exciting tease of
something new in Spotlight. But on screen now you can
see how contact details. We are at the kud TV
on social media where you can follow us and catch
up with previous episodes from doing that again, because.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
It was showing I need sleep.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Havn't that.
Speaker 10 (36:54):
Yes for an award show?
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Uh? Wasn't an award?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
I want to be the award one can dream? So
the British LGBT Awards nominations loud, what's happened for these?
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I want to be the want to be passed around
like a bugler of frat pie.
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Oh my god, can we make this happen? Donate We'll
start that again.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, that's fine, quite problem.
Speaker 8 (37:34):
Joan Rivers drag queen, Yeah, true drag queen. Yeah, it'd
be nice if she came back from beyond the grave.
I think that'd be fantastic. When I learned my new spells,
then yeah, I'll give it a guy crushing on m M.
The l Words spin off show was called The g
(37:56):
Spot Queer or not Quite. I feel like that's going
to be true, queer not quite called the real L word,
which I'd have gone with a juice spot much better name.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
I don't know how he speaks.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I don't know how just just peper, But.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That's it's just the same as the just a child
snap one. They got any drugs? No, you can't do that, Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
In that situation, then you are going around a zoo
oo oh come.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
These Oh no about a bit, Prince Charles, then.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Did it?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
These monkeys they are eating. I can't do it. They're
eating I can't why kind of not because it's such
a hideous, hideous human being and my brain will not
allow me to Donald Trump, Yes, oh she's tight.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
I was sticking your fist up.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Y's right. I didn't smell it because you sat on it.
She smelled perfume, and I was like, I'm sure I
didn't spray with perfume. But then as I smiled, it
was like, you sat on that, and now it smells
of your ass.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
It smells like perfume, apparently, Natalie, while you're enjoying your puppet.
I don't know if you've noticed something's missing, Liza, No,
there's something missing here.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
What have you done? You don't. What have you done
with Zen and Cat? Have you? Have you smashed it?
Speaker 3 (39:54):
I promisely I haven't smashed it.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Where is it? People enjoyed that? You enjoyed they enjoyed that? Well,
what have you done with it?
Speaker 3 (40:03):
I can promise you it wasn't smashed.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
What do you think, Lisa? Should we watch the video?
It's a video? The video?
Speaker 3 (40:12):
M h, it's cat a cat?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Well it's at that's not that's not the cat. That's
not the O g one? Is it that? I am positive?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I just what makes you so shoy? Not the O
g one?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Because it doesn't look that the O g one had
has a nicer face.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
It's the oge. It doesn't have a face anymore.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's not the O g One?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Then where is the old one?
Speaker 2 (41:02):
You put it somewhere to hide because you've just got
that off YouTube off YouTube tube?
Speaker 3 (41:11):
So Gary last week? What did I take home with me?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
It hasn't I did it? Hasn't you haven't?
Speaker 3 (41:27):
I feel perfectly, perfectly, perfectly sure. The zencats, No, that's
not it?
Speaker 5 (41:35):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That's not it? That face? That face is a cheap
imitation of the thing. You got tabu of the thing
because it's no nice try Hello.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Okay, where is it?
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Then you put it hidden it somewhere and I can't
see it? Okay anyway, Wow, that's almost the end. No,
it actually is. We would like to thank you for
all the laughs and giggles we have had. It's been
such an honor and a privilege to join you every week.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Hello. Well I'm just under the last of them.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Oh okay, it's the last in this set. We're going
to be back next week.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
H is on my family getting a facelift.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Huh And are you getting a facelift if you want
to pay for it?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
He said that that.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
We're getting a new set. Yeah, but I I you
do need No one's got that much money.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
You said I could have someone ZAMPI.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
I didn't. I said you could have some Marsipan.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Marsipan, it's a well known weight loss. Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Anyway, Yeah, So we will see you all next week,
will we though, Yes, just a new just a new set.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
That's it, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Bye, b very that's very that's very small.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Chode just pre modeled this hill.
Speaker 7 (43:18):
Lisa, Oh god, sorry, why did back upside down the
first time?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
You pretty apsided you put the ball at the top.
She didn't know how you did
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