Ep. 444 "Rule Breakers" with Kiki Said So & Medinah Monroe

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Yeah, yeah, Check one two, check one two. Is this
Mike On? Is this Mike On?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Listen man, it's the one and.

Speaker 4 (00:07):
Only trunks that a DJ systems and you're listening to
cocktails Dirty Discussions with Kikia Medina Monroe.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Here.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Today's cocktail is called the rule Breaker. What you're going
to need for this cocktail is one and a half
ounces of Tito's vodka, one ounce of elderflower liqueur, zero
point seventy five ounces of a lemon juice. We're gonna
pretend like this is fresh, half an ounce of honey syrup,
which is just gonna be honey mixed with hot water.

(00:41):
There's already water in this, so we're just gonna go
with that and some clubs soda. And what you're gonna
do is you'll get a cup and fill it with ice. Now,
if you want to be cute and fancy, you would
strain this into like a coup glass or something way
fancier than a plastic cup. But this is what we got,
so work with it. You'll take your strainer and you're
gonna fill your strainer with ice, and then we're gonna
start laying, well, not layering, but pouring in our ingredients.

(01:03):
So we'll start with the vodka. This is Saint Jermaine,
about three quarters of an ounce of the lemon juice,
freshly squeezed lemon juice. And then lastly we're gonna add

(01:24):
in the honey. And remember I already had a little
water in this glass. So this is what we got.
Shape this vigorously. You're into it really mixed up. You
don't want to have big chunks of honey in there.
Now we will strain this into our glass. Maybe it'll

(01:47):
just have like a little honey essence, and then we'll
top it off with a bit of club soda. Give
it a little star since we added in that club soda.
Let me see, Oh.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
I like that?

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Okay, all right, and that is the rule breaker, because
sometimes you just need to break a few rules. Nowina
here you.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Call tell me what you think.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Light and refreshing, right, Yeah, Now you will break rules
by your own choice with that dream, not because you
get so drunk. It's light anyway. Enjoy the cocktail. Welcome
back to cocktails, Dirty discussions, you guys. I'm Kiki said.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
So, and I'm Adina Monroe, and we're back.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
I'm sipping the rule breaker, because sometimes you need to
break a rule. What do you think about your drink?

Speaker 1 (02:47):
I love breaking the rules. I'm just playing. I really
do like rules, but I like to like rules too.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Anyway, you guys, I want to make a quick announcement
before we get started with the show to remind everybody
that you should go to worse Behavior twitter dot com
and sign up if you are looking for Memorial Day
weekend plans. I will be in the Grill at Hedonism
two for that weekend only, but the trip itself is

(03:15):
the twenty first through the thirty first. It is going
to be a really good time. Orion is hosting. I'll
be there. I'm getting outside lately, and I've been trying
to have more fun and not just sitting on the computer.
So I'm ready to let loose and have a good time.
I just won't be as drunk.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
I feel you that if you are looking for a
little bit of wellness in your life and you would
love to come and retreat, relax and also make some
things happen and see era. Make sure you guys go
to Paradise and Vibe dot com. Come to Sedona with
me August twenty fourth through the twenty seventh. It is
going to be a time. It is a Vibe festival.

(03:51):
We have Lion Bay performing at our farewell dinner, which
is the festival part y'all. This is an all inclusive retreat.
So yes, people always be worried about the food.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Your food is including is.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
What I'd be worried about, whether it's okay. And then
it's like where we eating is at the hotel.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
There's several different little options that we'll have as far
as food. They're not all at the hotel, but we
are saying at the Enchantment resort, so really nice things
to choose from. I hope to see you there Paradise
Envibe dot com and tell them I sent you.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yes, okay, you guys, so we are going to go
ahead and get into weird sex getting quick. Yeah, we
caught up forever. I'm sorry I took up so much time,
but I hope you guys, you guys enjoyed keeping up
a wiki. Last week.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
You said a man is not a necessity. A man
is a luxury like dessert.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, a man is absolutely not necessity.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Did you mean that to sound meaning bitter?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Oh not at all. I adore dessert. I love man
I think man are the coolest, but you don't really
need them to live. I have a story about these fetishists.
I was thinking about it with what's the man saying
we talked about last week with.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
The lip Shannon sharp Shade With the lip. You think
he knows he got a heavy lip?

Speaker 3 (05:18):
How could he not? I don't. My nose is big
and so is my belly. So I mean, it's like
things when you're looking at yourself, you know.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I call it a heavy lip. Is that what's
happening is heavy?

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well? I don't know. It just seems like it because
of the way it like hangs, and like when he talks,
it just seems like, oh, maybe it's heavy, like you
know sometimes when people have thick tongues, how they like yeah,
or like, you know, lots of other things and it's
just like you just I.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Wonder when he eats food, is in messy because the
lip don't close.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
He probably can't close it. I don't think he likes
the muscle. Maybe it's just too relax Okay, some people.
I don't know. I wonder. Okay, anyway, actually changed my mind.
We're gonna I'm gonna tell you guys about something happened
with the Dutch oven because my mama bought me a
Dutch oven, right she did you watch Megan Marco's show.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
I love that show.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
I was not expecting that reaction. It moved you.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Did not think I was one was tight. My friend
of man was like, will you just watch it? I
was like, I don't like stuff like that. She was like,
but just watch it.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Sometimes I'm just bored by it. Okay, she was like,
just give it a chance.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
When you're in the kitchen, when you're just doing something,
you want background on girlfriend in love with Megan Markle
and what she does. I started making the flower ice cubes.
You know how she cuts up the little flowers and
puts it in the ice cube. But make sure you
use distilled water or it'll be foggy.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
The more you know, I.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Have a tomato plant.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Now, m you about to start making what.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
I want to start trying to be like with your.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Bread maker, you can make that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
I just she just really inspired. I didn't think it
was gonna inspire me. How I did. I love it.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
She kind of reminds me of like a mix between
Martha Stewart and Barefoot Contessa but more modern. Yeah, and
I just liked the little personal touches and I think
it's a cute show. Anyway, my mom fell in love
with it, and now she has her latest obsession is
Lake Cruse cookware. I loved it too, but that shit high.
So I don't have no collection, and my mom would

(07:26):
be on TikTok all day and apparently the girls are
pulling out their collections and showing like all the pieces
of that, and I'm like, y'all are rich? Did you
get this as a wedding gift? Like that shit is
fucking high. Anyway, she bought me a pot. It made
me think about it and I just remember this was
the story I say, so anyway took me forever, but
I'm here. We made it to the destination. So a
couple in the UK went viral after an emergency room

(07:49):
visit following what doctors referred to as a toxic gas incident.
The man had attempted a kinky version of a Dutch oven.
My Dutch oven is making delicious meals, but apparently, did
y'all know a Dutch oven in this kind of situation is.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
When you trap somebody under the cover with a fart.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Why do you know this?

Speaker 1 (08:12):
I thought everybody, everybody.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Are you into this sort of thing? Before I start.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
Laying out my judgments, I thought everybody knew that's what
a Dutch oven was.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I don't know why I know.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
I'm the only one who didn't know. Did y'all know that?

Speaker 4 (08:26):
Oh war news, everybody knows that.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, you trap them money there.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Why would you want to do that to somebody? I mean, well,
I ain't never know that's me. Is it like during
a fight or it's like.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
I've never actually done it. And now that I think,
it's like, when would you do that?

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Like I would do it if I was mad at you?
Because sometimes these things be stinky, especially after like a
good hearty salad.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
And if you had some draws on you can sell
in the panty deal.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
That's a good right because if you want, like that's
what kind of sense y'all Want'm going to make me
a panty dutche because a Dutch oven panties. Well, okay,
maybe I'm the one who didn't know. Y'all tell me
did y'all know this? For real? I need to know
who knew that that was a Dutch oven? Because I
am just shook anyway. They were trying to do a

(09:19):
kinky version of a Dutch oven, only to discover that
the smell caused his partner to faint and hit her head.
And this is why y'alln't need to be doing this
kind of shit anyway. Turns out he'd been eating nothing
but bought eggs and cabbage for days to prepare.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
I know that all because if you just have a
bite of a bite of cabbage.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Well you cook the cabbage's flunky. You gotta open up
some windows. Anyway, it's not really giving for a play
to me, it's giving warfare, and that's not what I
want in my bedroom. But if y'all are into that
sort of thing, I'm really intrigued. Not enough to try it,
but I would like some Have y'all been playing this
Dutch oving game? And were you fainting?

Speaker 4 (10:04):
Like?

Speaker 3 (10:04):
What is like a bad thing that happened? And then
when they come out, does the stench stick to skin,
hair or braikes.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
There have been times when I've been on the airplane
and somebody's sometimes I've been to somebody, but not all
the times when people be fighting on the plane, it's
just it it's like it's most like gasoline. Did you
see the clip that was circulating around and there was
somebody was farting up the plane and everybody it was
so bad that they people.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Were ringing their little bells, the flights and the bells
and the.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
And then this little Indian it was like, please stop
the fucking whatever, Please stop fucking you know that's wrong,
Like every time when I have to let one loose
on the plane and be hot and stuck like and
you can feel it oozed out.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
I don't know what it is about the plane where maybe.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
It's like the compression or something is doing something to
your body, just like how sometimes you know your ankles
might swell or certain things are happening.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
And I feel bad when it's a bad snaggy farm.
I'm sorry, y'all.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, do you say I'm sorry out loud so they know.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
I just I do stop when you see that first
person be like, because I am one of who where
someone key's fart and I start.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Looking around like who is absolutely ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
I'm trying to pretend like I'm sleep but it's like
I never do it on purpose, but sometimes you just
can't help and it comes out and then I'm like,
oh my god, I have my headphones in. There were
noise canceled. Did anybody hear it?

Speaker 1 (11:23):
You know? It's me like like I like.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
That when a pool comes out on a point, I
just close my eyes. I'm sleep So like, what you're
gonna do. You're not gonna look me in my eyes
and make me feel shape. I'm already embarrassed to know
if I'm like this, I'm shame. I really that is embarrassing.
And I have been very gassy lately. I've got to
lay off the broccoli and the protein shakes. They do

(11:47):
it too anyway, That's where sex this week.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
But don't lay off the protein stakes.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
I actually would like to know which protein shakes you're drinking.
I call send me the link. I'm trying to my
I've started working out what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
It's okay.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
You know I've always tried this wellness healthy fit. Let
me say the fitness journey specifically. I've always tried to
do it, and I normally fail. I am really trying
to stick with it this time. So I got a trainer,
like a real trainer. My butt hurts so badky but

(12:30):
hurts like this morning, I sat down in my car
and I thought I was sitting on something.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
That's how bad. My butt cheeks hurt like something.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
It just felt everything was and I was like, wow,
I really have been. I started with him in February,
and I have been pretty consistent.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
The week of seeing your workout videos, girl, I said, oh,
she's not fucking playing around.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
I'm not.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
Somebody sent me a message the other day and saying
you're working on you in prison. Was it feels like
that from time to time, and he's mean. My trayer
is mean and he's mean. And remember one week you
asked me he'd be talking to me crazy, and at
first I was really like, I'm not going to come to.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Do you anymore because this is very disrespectful.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
And now I like it, like you need somebody to
talk to you like that, and then.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
You actually do need him to to talk to me
like that. And he's also Remember you were like is
he cute? And I was like, I actually don't know.
He's fine.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Damn yeah, that'll do it.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
All be Like I was like, y'all, I was sad
and I couldn't really see him, And now I see
him and see clearly. Now the rain is gone I
was like, oh my god. Like anyways, I'll be in
there working out, really trying to get.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
My fitness.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
This is the year of twenty twenty fine, and I
just want to see how fine I can actually get
in this life.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
You ever wonder like how fine.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Can you wonder?

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I do?

Speaker 3 (13:55):
And sometimes I'll be getting discouraged and tell me if
you experienced this currently because you are in the gym,
so you're like actively working out and they always say
you can't. I'll work a bad diet. So I just
be like, well I'm cooked. It's hard because I mean,

(14:16):
I everything in my life, all of my emotions go
back to food, any emotion, not just sad, sad happy.
When people be like, oh I'm so sick, but I
was happy. I was sick. I couldn't eat nothing, bitch.
I'll be having a stomach virus still eating and stuff,
and it's just like, well it's gonna come up. I
mean every I just want to eat. And it's like
sometimes I have these sugar cravings. Sometimes I want something salty,

(14:40):
Sometimes I want a chicken wings. Sometimes I want Fox Brothers.
Oftentimes I want Fox Brothers. It's just a lot of
things that I be wanting. It is so hard to
kick that part. And it's like I'll work out in
the gym and I can do that right, but I
don't be seeing the results because the inside ain't right,
not the muscle part and all that, and it's just

(15:00):
like I'm in here is funky, everybody looking nasty and sweaty.
I hope I don't get a staff infection, like h
I just hate being here. It's a miserable time. And
then it's like if I don't see a change in
the mirror, I begin discourage. But I have been on
the fence about seeking some professional help, not a trainer.
We're past that. I need more help than that. I

(15:21):
need somebody inside of the things that are happening in
my body, into my brain and inside just all of
the digestion functions. Right. So our friends at life, our
ex have helped your girl out. I wasn't sure what
to do. I've heard a lot of things about all
the different like weight loss things, appetites of pressants, all

(15:43):
this stuff. I didn't know where to start. I don't
really care about people's judgment. You know, people be acting
all weird about it. We all need a little help.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
I don't know why people act weird about getting a
little help to lose weight if that's your goal, or
to gain weight if that's your goal. If you need
a little help, you need a little help. And I
don't really tell you I like a little help.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
I like a little help too. And to be clear, life,
I'm looking at Life or X for weight loss. But
I did not realize that they do so many other
things too. So no matter what you might need help
with busy schedule or not, they were taking consultations on
the weekends. You can talk to people, you will see
a doctor. They are going to help you the whole
way through. But anyway, I did my consultation and I

(16:27):
was talking to them about my goals, why I'm having trouble,
And it was on a zoom and we're just going
back and forth, and I was really telling her everything.
I was probably sharing more than most people do. We
was having a good old chat. But I explained everything,
and I was like, you know, the biggest issue for
me is these cravings, and I want something that will
curb the cravings. I still want to eat food. And

(16:50):
so she took my information. There's blood work that can
be done depending on what kind of stuff you're getting.
I didn't have to do it, though, so that was
like one less step. But once I went through everything,
she gave me several options for different medications that I
could take to help me, because she was like, what
you need is something that is going to suppress your appetite,

(17:11):
and there's a few different options. There's some that are stimulants,
so you might feel a little bit of energy, so
if you don't want that, you might want to go
with one that is not that way. They have so
many different things, and I love that I got to
talk to a real person to kind of explain everything
to me, because when people are taught, I don't know
about you, but when people are talking about medications and
they're using the real name, I don't know what that is.

(17:33):
Is this a skinny shot or not? Is this the
skinny people, What is it gonna do? What's the side effects?
And so she was really thorough and going over everything
and giving me options. It didn't feel like everybody was
just throwing out the same product. So anyway, the prescription
that I got, I can't remember the exact name of
the drug, but it's a pill that I take, and

(17:53):
so I just started this week, so I'm going to
keep sharing with you guys what my progress is. I
haven't even done in a full week yet, but I
have gotten the medication and came within a week. I
scheduled my after filling out everything online the little form.
The next day, I have my consultation and then my
medication was delivered by FedEx the following week. And it

(18:14):
was really really quick and easy. It was all really easy,
and they send you like a lot of information. There's
a phone number to call, they text you and everything.
So whether you're a phone person, a text person, whatever,
you will be able to communicate with the people and
if you need help, you can and it's just really simple.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yeah, I haven't had my I haven't had my consultation yet.
I actually have it tomorrow morning, and I'm really excited
about it because, like Kiki said, it's not just like
weight lies. If you need performance help, they have something
they can offer you. I'll let you know what it
is once I actually have my consultation. One thing that
my trainer told me was you're weak. That's how you said,
He said, Yeah, I told you, he me. He was like, yeah,

(18:51):
why did you getting stronger? And I was like, why
am I not getting stronger? So I'm going to ask
the medic that I have my consultation with tomorrow because
I do want to make or that Like, I eat
a lot of vegetables and I am someone who takes
health very seriously into what I put into my body,
and it doesn't make sense that I'm not actually getting stronger.
So I cannot wait to talk to their professionals about
what it is that I can take to really help muscle.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Maybe need more protein. I wonder maybe they'll have a
supplement or something for you.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, I'm excited. I am really excited to see.

Speaker 4 (19:20):
So you guys visit Life RX dot MD and use
our code cocktails and I check out and get fifty
dollars off your first month to get started today. That's
Life l I F E r X dot m D
and use code cocktails just to start your journey to

(19:41):
a healthier you with support that actually works. Okay, the
link is in the episode description.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yes, oh, they also want to help. They have something
for hair loss. If you're man, or you are the
man and you lose that hair or woman.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
God's about deserve somebody all the but some people.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Are wearing hats it's about to be hot outside, or yeah, edges,
you don't always want to have to have a swoop.
Goot them up and they got so many different things,
and don't be shamed.

Speaker 4 (20:08):
Don't be shamed because again, okay, the whole ad is
over this for real. I am one of those people
where it's like your look, while it's not everything it
If that's what makes you feel good, pour into it
and whatever. If it's working out, if it's getting your
hair done or cut, if it's getting your eyebrows done,

(20:31):
if you get beauty enhancements.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
If that means if you want a little bow, talk
you want a little Bowtok's.

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Like when you get one, life hints it a little bit,
you're gonna be okay. If you balding and you need
a little help, get the help and ask people where
they getting the help from.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
It's probably life our ex empty.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
You know what the great Dionna Sanders always said, if
you look good, you feel good.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
And that's the truth was that in it. Oh, if you.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
Feel good, you play good, and if you play good
good they pay good. Upgrade to life and get on life,
life our ex y'all, sit your plane okay, when you
don't have to be struggling like that, Like, come on,
I'm taking all the supplements. Okay. I'm really excited to
see hopefully, hopefully I work out too, but we just

(21:19):
don't see what happens with everything else. I mean, that
is advice. I'm gonna get back into working out, but
it's just very discouraging for me. Honestly. I'll jokes aside
when it's like you work out hard and even when
you feel like you're making different and better eating tricks.
I don't always eat ribs, y'all, not when I'm doing
the gym stuff, but that's been a long time ago.
I just want to see some results. I really be

(21:40):
oneing an instant result, and I know that that's not realistic,
so I had to get my mind right. But once
my mom was right, I did my consultation. I'm excited
to see we'll see y'all gonna see me, so we'll see,
you know what happens. But I'm excited to talk to
you guys about my journey and if things are working out,
you don't have to feel stuck. You can always let
them know. And I like that and not feeling like
I'm locked in or just gonna be left for day. Okay.

(22:01):
So anyways, moving on to our topics for this week.
So I wanted to talk about a few different things.
The first thing I wanted to talk about is some
signs that you are the problem in your dating life.
I was having a talk with some friends one day.

(22:22):
We were like, I think we were on a group
FaceTime call and one of the friends was complaining about
where things were going in her dating life, and I
was like, I thought about the episode with Tanna Gilmore
and remember when she was saying something a loud Yeah,
that was a really good one. I really enjoyed her
when she was saying something about how when you ask

(22:43):
somebody about their past relationships and how they speak about
the person, it's like, do they have any accountability for
their own actions and their role in why things didn't
work out? And that really stuck with me. So I'd
asked my friend that and we sat there for she
was like, well, I don't know, and then she was like,
well what y'all think? And I was like, uh uh,

(23:05):
don't ask me that if you don't really want to know.
But she didn't really want to know, so we all
kind of had a talk and I was like, you know,
there are certain things and I shared some of the
things that I've noticed, and I was like, I only
know what you tell me and what I see, So
maybe this isn't the full scope, but you can just
take this information. You don't have approve sh it to me,
but you can take this information and really take the
time to reflect and see like is this how I

(23:25):
handle things? Is this how I act? So, whether it's
us or somebody else, I wanted us to share some
ways that we have seen people sabotage their dating lives.
One I will start. One thing that I've seen people
do is they get lost. They take a trip to
Ululu Island and they get lost there. And it's like,

(23:50):
I guess maybe in trying to like stay positive and
be on like I don't know, just a good positive
vibe and not letting the negativity get you down, sometimes
they ignore all the negativity and it's like, you ain't
always do that, and you can sabotage things when you
do that, well, you just sabotage your future with the person,

(24:11):
because this is gonna be a train wreck. I also
think that sometimes people have a problem really sharing what
they want and where they are in terms of relationships.
And that's like, I feel like that can sabotage you know,
your future with somebody if if you won't be honest
and you just lead them on, or you're acting like

(24:32):
you're okay with things that you're really not okay with,
like maybe you want more. I don't know, what do
you think on how people sabotage, Like different ways that
people sabotage. Whether it's you or somebody that you've seen,
doesn't matter who, but yeah, how people sabotage or like
end up being the problem in a relationship, you know.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
I think there's a few things. I think oftentimes people
compare too much.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
M That's a big one.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
I Mean it's almost like you'd be like, who are
you dating for?

Speaker 3 (25:02):
Who?

Speaker 4 (25:04):
Like the comparing thing is really like and everybody has
probably fallen a victim to it. But there are some
people where it's like you really are just you're not
even living your life m M. You're worried about what
somebody else, the type of man that they have, and
what they're doing on the surface level or what they
allow to let you see, and you're not really like

(25:25):
living in true relationship with who you're with, which is
wild because then you get if you get married or
you have kids with them, it's like, what was this? Actually,
it's like a it's a facade, which is never a
good decision. I also think another form of sabotage is
and this is something where it's like I think it

(25:45):
takes constant work to not do it, because I think
most people do this, and it is changing people in the.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Most subtle of ways. It doesn't happen.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
I'm not even saying like you're trying to change somebody's
career path, but it can just be like you just
nitpick it somebody. Men and women do this. It's almost
like when that honeymoon phase is over, you start criticizing
people for things that don't really they're not your business,
like this is doing to me. Let's say, somebody, I

(26:25):
feel like we just had an advice letter that had
something too oh working too much? Okay, and you're dating,
you're not even married. You're already commenting on how much
somebody works. You're not investigating it. You're not and I say,
commenting complaining about what somebody has chosen for a career path,

(26:48):
how they're going about it, and how many hours a
week they are working.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
You don't.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
People have a people have different journeys. And I'm I
really am again. I think this constant work because it
must be very hard but to because Kano, But I
haven't seen anybody successfully do this. You see people in
nitpick all the time and try to tell people what
they need to be doing. If this doesn't work for you,
find something that does. And nine times out of ten,

(27:15):
that's not even what you want. You're finding you're putting
yourself fiddling in other people's business. And yes, even if
it's your man or your woman, like, let people be
who they are or don't be with them. It's not
even about like a compromised type of thing somebody. And
I'm only taking it back to that advice letter because
it's like he's a mechanic. I don't know all the

(27:35):
details of a mechanic, but I do know they work
a lot. Imagine that's his cars got to get fixed.
The cars have to get fixed. Sometimes I just think
we do ourselves such a disservice. When you come into
someone's life, you already knew that's the path they were on.
You don't know how much they love it if that
was their dream and you come in and you say,
I don't want you to do that. It's doing too.
You're this is I don't like how you're doing, Like

(27:56):
who are you to do that to somebody? And I'm
talking to myself too. I'm not just saying like there
are certain things that just people. You get into a
relationship that you say you love the person, but that's
not true. I'm not saying it's there's not room for conversation,
but conversation not this is what you this is how
you need to do this and stop doing That's not love.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
Because what might show me the right way?

Speaker 1 (28:16):
And nine times out of ten it doesn't.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
But I think what happens sometimes is you get in
a relationship and one person is like I don't want
to say the bully, but one person is just like
one person is the leader and one is the follower,
and it's just like this this unlearning that even myself
that I'm doing. If somebody lives a certain way, it's
like either you're going to let them be who they

(28:39):
are to their fullest. And again I'm not saying that
this is easy. I hope that I can have a
relationship where you meet somebody and you let them be
who they are at their core, and they're indecisive.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
They're indecisive. That's who you chose.

Speaker 4 (28:53):
You're not like, hey, you I make you see how
I make decisions? Like this is how you need to
make this because this is how people.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
But you like the goddamn bitch, Like do you like it?

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Do you love me?

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Like when you really like think about what love is
supposed to be, like you like you enjoy who I
am as a person. And there's this thing that starts
to happen in relationships. I was talking to my brother
about this and I was like, I've really been thinking
about it, Like there's a thing that happens in relationships
where all of a sudden you become enemies.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
And it's like what used to like this? What now
it did?

Speaker 4 (29:26):
When did we start being like you're not never on time?
When I was this ain't mean now because this.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Is me, So go ahead, yeah do it. You ain't
never on time.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
I wasn't time. Like what happened like I was never
three times?

Speaker 3 (29:41):
You didn't even appreciate that ship? So what the fuck?
Am I gonna stress myself up? I'll be there right
and so I think I'm like Jesus. I may not
come on time, but I'm gonna be there right when
you need me. Okay, come on sometimes.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Ye learning how to appreciate what the person you're in
you to be in a relationship with brings to the
table and not trying to change it. And I do
think that, like I said, that takes constant work that
I think is very difficult, but most people won't even
attempt to try.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
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(30:32):
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Speaker 1 (30:44):
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Speaker 1 (31:17):
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Speaker 4 (31:20):
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just click the link in the episode of description box below,
and now we'll get back to the show. Do you
think that there's anything that okay in similar situation?

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Right?

Speaker 3 (32:49):
You're with somebody and there's something about them that you
don't like and you do want it to change. You
ever think it's okay to talk about those things or
like try to have a conversation with you and try
to influence them to change in any type of situation.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Is it okay?

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Do you think because it's like not okay to try
to change a person and who they are is who
they are, right, that's what you were just saying. But
I'm saying, do you think that there are ever situations
and maybe what could something like that be where it's like, okay,
this is appropriate to speak of, this isn't bad.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
I don't even think. I won't say like it's a
good or bad thing.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
Okay, what I will say is for my life, I
would like to find partnership where that's not what we're
trying to do. If a conversation needs to be had
about I'm trying to think of an example where it's
like this is really this could really bother someone. What's
something for me personally that's like this really bothers me.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Time? Let's just go back to time.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
Okay, I think I would it bothers me, it doesn't
bother the person. So I think, and this is what
I've been trying to do lately. I just lie about
the time.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
And get your way.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
It's not even get in my way like it's it's
it's it bothers me, it doesn't bother you. And so
now I'm gonna bother you by making this a bother
So I'm just gonna I'm going to fix the problem
that is going to that it's gonna work for both
of us. At the end of the day, we're on time.
I didn't annoy you with the time thing. I said
we need to be there at two. We really don't

(34:26):
have to be there till three boom cured. We're not arguing.
I'm not sitting here mad because we're late and you
didn't even know and it didn't it didn't affect you.
So like, I think, I'm more so trying to figure
out what I can control in whatever situation it is,
and trying not to let the other stuff get to you,
get to get to me. I can't control if it's
gonna get to you, but I can control if it's

(34:48):
going to get to me. And I think, again, I
think it's a constant work. Yeah, with small things like
even if you're on the phone with Amazon, you can't
understand the accent of the people, and now you're about
to go crazy because.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
This is also not me.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
So yeah, I think I don't Kiki.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
I think it takes too much time and effort trying
to change people.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
It has been done to me.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
Before in friendships, in relationships and family relationships and all
types of thing and it's just it's.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
And I've done it before.

Speaker 4 (35:20):
It don't feel good be who you I really, I
don't even know if this is possible.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
I pray that it is.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
I don't want to be trying to I don't want
to be a part of that, like trying to change people.
You got the attitude. You got attitude. I'm not trying
to change your attitude. And I feel like I've been
that before, Like, oh my gosh, I don't have control
over this. I'm going to live my life how I
want to live it, Treat people kindly, be the best
person I can be, and I and I hope that
I can attract somebody like that. Yeah, you ever seen

(35:48):
somebody get into a relationship with someone who wants to
be And we talk about this whole time, like an
artist or something like the singer or we said I'm
not doing anything. Yeah, Like it's like cause you kind
of know like what that comes with, and you and
you know what it comes with. And then people get
into a relationship them like you don't make enough money?

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Okay, well.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
I don't know what the fuck did you think was
gonna happen? What are the odds?

Speaker 4 (36:09):
And so what happens from that is like now you're
like trying to make them this corporate America person that
they didn't want to be.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
That's not nice.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
It's a very nice way to put it. Yeah, it's
not nice.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
And then they're most likely going to do it for
you because they love you.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
And then they go, well, it could be a myriad
of feelings afterwards, because it's like, Okay, I did all
of these changes, I did everything. I tried to be
this picture perfect person for you. I am unhappy on
the inside now now I resent you. Yeah, And depending
on how emotionally stable the person is, you could be
the next case on First forty eight, Snapped or any

(36:50):
of those other shows. I just have to keep reminding
people because people get every day I will say something
that I have done and this is that I'm working on,
and this takes a lot of work for me. A
friend told me that she did this, and I was like, damn, bitch,
I didn't realize I do that too. Are we living

(37:10):
a double life or not. She's happily married with child
and beautiful home.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
But anyway, I realized, like in dating, there would be
times where, no matter who was the cause of it,
when there was conflict, I guess in the back of
my mind it's like I thought the other person would

(37:38):
not be willing to deal with whatever, or I flipped out.
I had an attitude I could up and I was
acting erratic. Maybe I was on my period. It was
just very emotional. I started crying out of nowhere. That
can be very jarring and scary to experience that with me.
But maybe it's something like that, or it could be
something bigger. And then it's just like in the back

(37:59):
of my I feel like, well, they're not gonna deal
with this and they're gonna go right like they will
just leave, and so then I'll I will act like, well,
I know you're just gonna leave anyway, instead of trying
to talk about it more or express myself. And I've
gotten a lot better with it. But I was like,
oh my gosh, bitch, why are we so broken like this?
This is not good. This was a conversation like five

(38:19):
or six years ago and she was telling me the friend.
She's telling me that with her husband. This was happening
when they were dating, and this was like a moment
when she knew, like, I think I really have my
real person, like my forever person at this point, because
he called it out and he was like, why do
you think every time there is an issue or a

(38:41):
conflict or I get mad or you get mad, that
it's over. I'm not trying to leave you. I'm trying
to work through it, and you're running away and I'm
trying to give you space because I think you need space.
Or I try to talk about it, you flip out.
I'm trying to figure out how to communicate with you
in a way that we can reach resolve because I'm
not trying to leave. I'm trying to you and I
just gotta figure We gotta figure each other out. We

(39:03):
are different people, but that's okay, Like stop running away
and being scared. And I was like, girl, we need help.
We need to be on better help or something. But anyway,
that is something that I've done in the past to
sabotage relationships, and this is any kind of relationship, and
I don't know why I would do that, but I
am happy to say that I've not been doing that lately.

(39:24):
And I will just say some days to avoid my
emotional outburst, I need a day. I just need a minute,
or where are you going so mad? Well, because this
is unsolicited advice, I'm not open to that right now.
I'm busy and I'm also stressed. I can't be open
to this and what I need when people are going
to give unsolicited advice, I still need a warning, you

(39:49):
gotta tell me, because if it just comes out of nowhere,
I just feel attacked. I feel like, what everything It's
like hearing an echo of my own voice, of my
own doubts or shortcut or whatever, and it just feels
like you're telling me everything that I'm doing wrong and
why I don't know anything. It just feels like that,
even when that's not actually what happens, and even when

(40:10):
in my rational mind another person is only trying to help,
I don't like it. And I have requested, like, if
you feel the need, if you feel so moved to
tell me something, you still need to ask or something,
and just wait until I say I already, because I
gotta get my mind right, because I'm gonna cry, I'm
gonna be acting crazy. I'm wall so, I'll be cutting up.
I am really unstable in my head. Especially, I wouldn't

(40:35):
even say the week of my peer. It's two weeks,
the week before and a little bit after.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
Women only get a few days out of the month
where our hormones are.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Like normal, Yeah, I need to get checked. And then
I was telling my sister. She was like, yeah, our
hormones are out of white girl, because everybody's pissing me off.
I said, girl, me too. I don't know what we're
gonna do about it. And then I drink as celsia
as that it's not gonna help.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
Did you just see they have like a situation going
on with Selsie. It's this lady died.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
She died, she had a How many did she drink?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
I don't think it was a lot. I think it
was one. I wish I could remember the story. One.
I think it was one. She was.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I'm glad I got a notification my goat fuel came in.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
I saw it and I was like, well, I never
drank Selsie's, but.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
My mama did tell me this weekend, don't be drinking
that with anxiety. It's not good. But I had already
bought the case. Do what I just need to leave
it in there, give it away.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
The people thirsty in the summertime.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
But okay, another thing that I wanted to add, Okay,
I think that sometimes oftentimes in dating, uh, there also
comes a time where people lose their flirtiness.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
I ain't never had it. I have a sucky flirt.
What do you mean, like when you're already with somebody
just and like y'all don't flirt with each other no
more or you mean like.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Maybe it's been a minute, let me combined to let
me let me actually know, let me not say flairness
kindness where it's like you've ever seen like people who
are in they say they love each other and they
and then one person tries to play with them and
all of a sudden, this is a snap and now
they fuss in and it's not even fun no more.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Like not like what is going on?

Speaker 4 (42:21):
Like he was joking with you, and you're just like
annoyed with his his or her presence.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
And it's like I don't think.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
People evaluate relationships enough like actually sit down and be
like a conversation.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
How are you feeling? Are you annoyed with me? Anything
we need to talk about?

Speaker 4 (42:41):
Like people just kind of like hold it all in
and then it's like you're you're the person that you
like or love is is you know, maybe they grab you.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
It's like stop, Like it's like why are we so mad?

Speaker 4 (42:53):
I have seen some couples and then I don't know,
like just out and about it. It's just like why
are there was this couple on the plane the lady
was being so Granted, I don't know what y'all going through,
but it was just like she was so outwardly mean
to her husband. I've seen my mom and my dad
do this too, and I'll be looking at them like

(43:13):
what is going like?

Speaker 1 (43:15):
NEI don't like each other? And sometimes people need to
sit down and have that conversay do you like me? Like?

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Do you like me today this week? Like did something happen?
Like what are these underlying issues issues that mood might have?
Are you just annoyed? Like sometimes you need to Uh,
everybody needs to check themselves, even like when you're just
somewhere and you're an employee is rude to you and
they think they're being nice, And sometimes you got to
remind people.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Oh, what are my dad's end of the day.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
So sometimes when people are doing that and you're like
in a place and you're like how is your day
to day and they're like, oh good, you should say, well,
your face doesn't match it.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Y'all are asking for some mess. We Sometimes you.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Do need to remind people like you're not being kind.

Speaker 4 (43:57):
I just feel like so often now people forget get kindness,
and I see it in relationships, dating and at restaurants.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
And butt.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
I just do not know what I would do if
maybe I was having a bad day and somebody said that,
and then like sometimes you know, when people ask how's
your day, you just say I'm good to like move.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
I don't do that anymore.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
I usually do every now and then I don't, but
I do because then I'll just get to talking and
I don't need to be pouring out my heart to strangers.
That's not they were just being polite, Like bit shut
up people speaking.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
About being polite.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
I was at the store the other day, Kiki, this
was this was so sweet. I was, I was on
the phone. I was at publics and I was talking
to my sister about something and I was getting some
stuff from I had a HomeBuyer seminar last weekend and
it was an amazing turnout. And so I was talking
to my sister and I had seen I had honestly

(44:55):
seen about three men eyeing me, but not in a
creepy way.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
I was actually I felt very also I'm looking good. Yeah,
And I wasn't even like looking at it. I was like,
I was like, oh, okay.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
So there was this one guy. I saw him and
he saw me, and that was it. Like. I was like,
I was kind to keep my eyes open because I
was like, if I need to call a manager and
haven't walked into my car, I will because y'all, y'all is.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
Not about to get at me up in here. Anyways.

Speaker 4 (45:21):
I'm on the aisle looking at Hallmark cards or some
sort of card.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
He comes up. He's like, excuse me, and.

Speaker 4 (45:29):
I was like, oh, I'm on the phone. Is this important?
And he was like yeah. He was like I wanted
to tell you something. And I was like, what's up?
And he was like, I got you these flowers. He
bought me these beautiful roses in the store. Of course, yeah,
And he was like I this was absolutely out of nowhere.
And it was crazy because the conversation. I wasn't talking

(45:52):
loud on the phone. It was just I think it
was just a coincidence. I mean, my sister was talking
to me about dating and how the stuff that we
see on Instagram and how it's difficult for some people
and things people experience.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
I wouldn't really wasn't even talking.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
I was just listening, and he's like, I just want
people to know that there's still nice guys out here.
I said. This was so sweet, and he asked for
my phone number. I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm
not dating this whole year. You wouldn't even want like you,

(46:28):
you wouldn't even want to. He was like, well, could
you just take my number? So on January first, when
you do start, Danny.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
That little mouth beas Because I had.

Speaker 4 (46:38):
Contemplated texting him the picture of my baptism.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
I did not think that's what you're gonna say, a
calendar reminder.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
How He that that might be a good one, but
I just thought it was You know, so often we
don't talk about it enough because we even I just
said it, like people don't be no more. But then
there are, there are the exceptions, and there are still
kind people in the world. We say people be saying
dating is trash and there ain't no good men, but
there are. And so when he did, and I was
sure to tell him that, like wow, like I this

(47:12):
was such. If I was dating, I would have gave
him my phone number, but I took his. He was like,
will you just take my number just in case you
changed your mind?

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Never mind her in January? And he wasn't a bad
looking guy. He was.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
It wasn't my side, but I'm more than open to
pass him on to somebody else.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
But he was.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Really he was.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
I just said, wow, that's amazing, Like it was really kind.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
I was like, this is this is good? You're doing good.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:35):
And I was like, can I get the receipt so
they don't think I stole these? He was like, yeah,
you give me the receipts and they were nice. They
were nice flowers. I was like, okay, so y'all stopped
saying it ain't no men in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
There's some.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
I mean, I don't know if he was a good man,
but he was here and he was.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
Doing that to everybody at the damn publics. But it
doesn't matter. It's a nice gesture. Y'all's together. He was
just trying to get his flirt off and that was
a very polite and respectful way to go out.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Yeah, he didn't wait around.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
He wasn't outside when because I was like is he
gonna be outside and asking he wasn't.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Can you find me on Instagram? And then I see
a following.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
I'm like Keon.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
His name was Keon.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
You know, lately, I have really been trying to figure
out how to zen out and relax aside from my
new mattress I got and sleeping really good on that
I have been really enjoying by him. I am alternating
between taking the Zen and my personal favorite, the High
Love gummy before I go to bed. It The High

(48:35):
Love specifically not only relaxes me and just allows me
to really feel and enjoy the sensations. Everything is heightened.
It just it feels good and they taste good. I
really have to make sure that I remember these are
not gushers, These are not gustious, these are not skittle gummies.
Do not just be popping this because girl, you do

(48:56):
not want to be in the er. But anyways, just
take one and you will be good. They are gummies
that are that have not only THHC, but they also
have afrodisiac herbs. I love them, And then I also
like the Zen gummies because those can just help me
to relax sometimes when I'm stressed period crimps. I mean,
it's so many different things. I have found a use

(49:18):
for so many different via hemp gummies and the tinctures
and the bombs. I just love them. It is really
a part of my overall health routine and it helps
me when I realize that like, you need a move regulator,
you need a a something to help knock this one.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Since I've been working out so much, I take the
Revive almost every night before I go to sleep so
that I can just my body can relax.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Sometimes you need a little help. We are all about
taking the supplements over here. I enjoy them. I use
them every day. I'm thinking about which one am I
taking tonight when I get home.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Meet too, I'm gonna take Revive.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
But I think it's really funny that the High Love
was originally create to be a limited edition Valentine's Day release.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Y'all, High Love.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
Was such a massive hit with Via that they made
it a permanent part of their lineup. And I would
like to say thanks to me and Kiki right because
we were telling y'all a gifted to the couples that
need a little spice. Tak it yourself if you need
to learn how to flare take it as I like,
I'm all out of my high on Love because I
was giving it out to people that needed a little spark.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
I did and get that curate where I gave them
the code Okay.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Sorry, you're welcome.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
So for the last two years, it's been helping adults
enhance their intimacy, heightened pleasure, and feel more connected than ever.
We were just telling y'all connection is such a huge
part of relationship.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Whether you're committed or not, you round somebody connect.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
Please do so if you are twenty or not over
check out the link to Via in our description and
use the code cocktails coock t a l e s
to receive fifteen percent off and free shipping on orders
over one hundred dollars. And if you knew to Via,
guess what you get a free gift of your choice.
After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them.

(51:06):
Please please, please continue to support the show and tell
them that we sent you take your passion and your
pleasure to a whole new level with high love from
ya him And now we'll get back to the show.
So what switching gears just a little bit. I feel
like people have a lot of rules. We've shared rules

(51:26):
and things that we want to stick to you, but
I know like as life goes on, you learn more,
you change things up. I wanted to talk about some
things that are rules that we might be sticking with
or possibly getting rid of. Like we're not doing that,
we are being little breakers like our cocktail. Oh good,

(51:47):
thank you. Okay, So first one, I got these from
my homegirl CC these suggestions, but I think she has
some interesting ones. This rule is no sex until the
third day. O. If I heard third days.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
I wonder why the third day? You want to see?

Speaker 4 (52:07):
How he dates is just sooo.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
I mean some people say ninety days, some people say
the third date. I don't know, but like I personally,
I wouldn't. I don't think like the whole timeline thing
is as important as what are you doing in the
time span, because you could wait ninety days. This is
not a person you plan to be committed to. This
is not a person committed to you. You don't know

(52:35):
their status with any of the STDs, STIs viruses, diseases, everything.
You don't know what's going on down there. You don't
know any of that, but you feel like because it's
ninety days, it's time to bust it open. The time thing,
I think it's more about the connection and not rushing
that either. So like third day, you don't have to
bust it open. But also that doesn't mean like okay,

(52:57):
magically he's gonna take you serious, because you waited girl,
by what do you think?

Speaker 4 (53:02):
Especially three days? Listen days oh three three dates? I
think now the sex thing for me, I look at
it more like again bringing it back to me, How
am I going to feel?

Speaker 1 (53:21):
How am I going to feel?

Speaker 3 (53:23):
And that's more important than a time, right, Yeah, And
I think that I'm at my big age.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
I'm really sick of the com like.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
You were really big.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Let me get my life al x kiky. I can't
do and we gonna see, y'all gonna go.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
I know y'all gonna remind me if I do slip
up and be like, oh, y'all, I'm dating to get
I The sex thing for me is it's different now
like it's I don't I'm sick of the confusion that
sex really does cause, even if you're in a relationship,
if you're not in a relationship, and it is no judgment,
I personally cannot handle. And this isn't even like somebody

(54:12):
that didn't care about me, but I just can't handle
the confusion that comes with it. I think that there
is this I was talking about this the other day
with a group of friends and a family member and
just a lot of like the grown up steps that
we take that are real, that are actually really like,

(54:33):
it's a serious step since we're talking about the sex
thing when you we just went to the risky dinner,
and at that dinner I said this at the table,
I felt so like, I felt so bad about the
amount of times that I have not been like, hey,
get tested, and I haven't had that conversation. And most

(54:54):
people aren't having that converse. Most people aren't pulling out
an HIV kit and being like, let's just make sure
we're good. Nobody make sure anything is good, your mental,
your pussy.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
Your booty, hall whatever y'all.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
Nobody is. And so it's just I don't It's just
it's a big step. A baby could come from it,
Like I don't. I say all the time, I don't
want to be one of those people where I really
am in a situation where it's.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Like I don't know who my baby daddy is. That
could have been me.

Speaker 4 (55:19):
I'm not about to act that could have been me
several times in life.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
A positive HRV like so much.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
It's just such a grown up adult step, and I
just I am now realizing again at my big age
that most of the times I wasn't even ready for
it not to bore y'all. And I've had fun, amazing sex.
I've also realized I give a really great experience I'm
sick of just like foreign girl.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
It's a great experience.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
And it's just like to continue doing this, I have
to do things a different way for the life that
I want. And it's a way that I've never tried before.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
What's the confusion that you're talking about though? The what
are confusion? Where we go in confusion or.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
The attachment confusion.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
It's like, I uh, it's your body, like it's like
you're now for me. It is like, even if it
has been like a fling, I'm not gonna lie and
act like you don't be like.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
Where he at.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
It's just like this attachment thing that is like it
doesn't feel good more often than not for the woman.
And I'm only I'm not talking about y'all. Y'all, maybe
that you have never felt that in your life. I
highly doubt that it's about us. Yeah, I just it doesn't.
And maybe it's just this age.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
It doesn't.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
That doesn't feel good to know that I'm giving you
something so great and we don't really know what's gonna
come of this.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
I think I would be better off without it.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
I mean, I get it, and I used to like
having sex a lot, and then I guess it was
last year. I wasn't really having sex, probably had six
two or three times last year, and I didn't even
really enjoy it. When I did. Maybe once I really

(57:09):
enjoy it, and I kind of felt like I felt bad,
and then I was like with the fuck, bitch, wake up?
Why are you letting somebody make you? And no words
were said. It's just like all my head. Y'all know,
it's a crazy head up here, but it's like I'm
feeling okay, I'll just do it this time. I don't
even want to.

Speaker 4 (57:28):
And that's not I feel like a lot of women
go through and that's not okay.

Speaker 3 (57:32):
That's why I didn't do it again. But that one
time I think it was good. I needed a release.
But overall, it's just like hmmm, I sure to feel different.
I started to try to be more in tune with
like how I'm feeling and I'm running away from feelings.
That is something I'm still very much working on, but

(57:52):
like sitt in the feelings and don't do shit trying
to drown out the feelings. That is a very bad
habit that I have. But we're gonna work on the
food first with life our X and then we'll get
to the other shit. But that is something I do.
I just try to like escape or like I realized,
I work a lot, and I like to work a lot,
so I don't have to worry about like the other
stresses of more personal life issues and things like that.

(58:15):
My feelings are like other things that are stressed me.
It's like, let me just work because like you said before,
I don't know if it was this week or last week,
but like feeling like you have a sense of control
over something, that's what it is for me and that's
why I like to work. But yeah, of sex, I
haven't had a new partner with bad sex in a
very long time. I never want to experience that ever

(58:36):
again in life, Like I would rather not have sex.
But I also realize how much more of a connection
matters as I really pay attention to my feelings, Like
it matters way more than it did before, because I
would just like ignore my feelings or just ignore a
lot of other things that I shouldn't have been doing. Right,

(58:58):
So I feel.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
You sometimes when you do take sex out, which is
also this is new. This is new for me.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
I'm not even but in the minute is fine. At
the gym I work, Oh, kiky.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
It's hard to turn a fine man down it. I
had to block a fine one the other day and
it hurt my heart. I really want to unblock him,
but I just need to leave him block. He is fine.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
And the man at the gym were like, just do
y'all want to go tubing?

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (59:23):
I said, I did say yes, I go to and
I got a tube. Okay.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
See, And that's what's wrong with me. That is what's
wrong with me. That's why I gotta state my ass
in the house.

Speaker 4 (59:35):
But there's this thing about when you like remove sex
for however long or not that you want to like,
but you get to like, you get to know somebody
two things. You get to focus on different things without
the sexual energy, which is a different way to approach anything.
You have more creativity. Uh and anyways, I won't go

(59:57):
into that part. But also you get I think when
you put another person into play. And this is I
told y'all when Elizabeth Gilbert came on the show, I
didn't know some of the things I was about to encounter,
but I did, and she has held me through a lot.
But she was talking about a program that she was in,
and I, for a moment was in it. And one
of the things they talked about was like, when you
do date someone and you have sex really quickly, yes,

(01:00:19):
there's a fun phase of that, but when you start
to get old and you start to see that, that's
like just like a pattern of yours, It's like, bro,
what are we doing. They didn't say that verbatim, but
they were like, sometimes when you take sex out and
you don't go to people's houses and you don't make
stuff so intimate so quickly, you learn so much more
about a person than if sex was involved, because it

(01:00:39):
does get blurred. Whether it works out or it doesn't,
it gets blurred. And so some of the issues that
you deal with in relationships you maybe would have learned
that early on if you wouldn't have had blurred vision.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
It's like you're walking around without your glasses on and so.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
And I don't put on some people's glasses that need glasses,
and I just imagine it's an opposite effect. Y'all be
out here lost if you walking around without your glasses.

Speaker 4 (01:01:02):
I'm lost, and when I don't have my glasses on,
I can't hear what.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
It's really weird.

Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
I don't know, it's this common thing, like my vision
is really bad and I don't have my glass on,
but it affects my hearing also.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
But you know what, that kind of makes sense because
sometimes when I'm backing up, I turn the music down
so I can see better and may sure ain't gonna
hit nothing, So yeah, I see, I see, Okay. Yeah,
It's like it helps you zone in on that sense.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
It's really interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
And so I'm just in a I'm in a way
of life right now where it's like I've been doing
things a certain way and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
That was cool.

Speaker 5 (01:01:33):
I don't no regrets, not a lot lessons learned, lesson
learn and now it's like, let me just try it
this way and see and really do see what with
this next phase will be like yeah, if.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
I try it this way, because this was not.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Working and you never know, and so you try. I
was talking to somebody the other day and I was
sharing like a connection that I have with somebody, and
I was like something that I think maybe you won't
understand is because you don't know the entirety of the situation.

(01:02:10):
It's like to meet someone and be friends with them
for so many years and like you're saying, not having
those We're not going to each other's houses, we're not
having sex. There's none of that. It's like a true
friendship and then things happen. Bitch, just be horny, and
then you have sex. That does change things, right, But
when you have a foundation of like a real friendship
and a real something outside of that, whether the sex

(01:02:33):
is there or not, there's something else there to lean on.
There's something else there that you know about a person
that matters to you, It matters to them, that just matters.
And it's like I was telling my friend. I was like,
sometimes I think, you know, maybe you should look at
different people or look at different situations and really think

(01:02:53):
about what actually matters to you when you are sad.
I'm your homegirl, I'm gonna be here. But do you
always do you always want it to be me? You'a'll
never want to lean on a big strong arm nice,
it's soft, Okay, don't you like do you? And if
you don't, you don't and no big deal. And she

(01:03:14):
was like, well yeah, but she is of this mindset
that all the men are bad, And I was like, well,
maybe you've got to change something with what you're looking
for or what you're valuing, or how you're treating people,
Like check yourself. That was really the inspiration behind this
another rule, and it's a reason for this. You know

(01:03:34):
what annoys me? This has been happening to me a lot,
not just lately but forever. It annoys me when people
be trying to put pressure on you to define a
relationship for them. Maybe if I'm good over here, y'all,
don't worry about what I got going on in my home.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
You know what I mean? The person?

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Okay, Like, if you were doing that to me, we're
obviously not dating and in a relationship, but you really
want to know what's going on with me and somebody else,
and you feel like I have to define it and
describe it in a way that suits your views, your opinions,
and your thing. I'd be like, I didn't even bring
this shit up.

Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
That goes back to what I was talking about. I
don't know if it was this episode or last week.
Changing people. It's with your friends too, It's like, mind
your business. A conversation is a conversation. If we're both
enjoying this conversation, but if you're trying not to know
on me how I'm supposed to be doing something. Do
you like who I am as a person? The answer
is no, this has This is not your business. Mind
your business. Mind the business that is yours.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
And if your.

Speaker 4 (01:04:37):
Name isn't it And sometimes it's not even like you.
Sometimes we have to check our own selves because we've
all done that before.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
It's like, oh, you need to Why are you to
mind your business? I think your business.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
If you want to be running around after Jonathan and
them and your feelings get hurt every week and you're
crying and now you're also pregnant.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
And he's not.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
Going to take care of you and you didn't like
that he was a mechanic, and now y'all are also
married and you hate him. That's not my business. Would
you like to go get pie somewhere out and let's
talk about something else, because this is a decision you
made and I'm not even trying to be rude about it.
If you need to cry, okay, cool. This is also
not my business like you make. We are decision making

(01:05:24):
people and we are at a big age where it's
like you gotta sometimes, like you said earlier, sit with it.
You gotta sit with it, and really sometimes it's it's
even beautiful to watch your friends and the people you
love make the decision.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
Mm hmm. You gotta.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
You have to learn things sometimes in a rough way,
and I hope you get it. But for me to
take it on and be trying to tell you that
needs to be your boyfriend, that don't like, that's not
my business.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
You know, some people should listen to you. But I've
also noticed like people have their of you, of you
and how you should live your life and to your
point of minding your business. Like i'd ask somebody one time,
I was like, have you ever asked me what I
wanted for me? M? Because I don't think I know,

(01:06:10):
I've never volunteered that information, but I don't think that
you've asked me. I know I didn't volunteer it because
that's not what I would volunteer because I don't care
to talk to you about this aspect of my life.
I think you have a very negative view and that's
coming from a negative Nancy. So like, I'm good I'm
talking about it with you. And she was like, well,
I mean, I feel like we all kind of want

(01:06:32):
the same things. And I was like, but you don't
know if you don't ask, I don't really know what
you want and you don't share, so I don't know
how we got here and why me minded, my businesses
bother some. But like, let's just make a left turn
and get out of this neighborhood and go somewhere else.

(01:06:52):
My new thing is, I'd be like boundaries, Why am
I in it? Why am I in the hot seat?
Like what's going on? I think that a sale of that. Well,
I'm in everything I said, But also, like to your
point earlier about who are you having a relationship for,
like comparing yourself to other people? What is this really about?

(01:07:14):
I think that more people need to think about what
they want, what makes them happy, what makes them tick,
and do the things that you want to do without
so much outside noise. Another friend of mine has been
in a relationship for some time and she didn't want
to share with anybody.

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
She didn't want to share with them.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
She want to share, And she told me, and she
was telling me like another friend group she had just
told them as well, And I was like, well, I'm
happy for you, Are you happy? How are you feeling?
And so she's really excited about it. She's like, yeah,
when I tell my other friends, they were just like, well,
why didn't you tell as well? While I was like,
why do people be feeling entitled to know everything that's
going on with everybody else? I said, well, I would

(01:07:53):
love to know more details when you're ready, if you're
ever ready. I don't want you to feel like you
can't talk to me, but I can also I respect
the fact that sometimes when you're trying to figure it out,
you want to figure it out on your own. I
can be that way, and I think sometimes that can
be helpful. I think it all depends you know, person
by person, Are you a good decision maker? Do you
always make fucked up decisions? You do need to phone

(01:08:14):
a friend. You cannot make decisions by yourself, you're.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
Not a real adult.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
But if you can, or you're trying to figure things out,
and you can do that, and it's easier for you
than having everybody else trying to tell you how to
live your life, do that, like, nothing is wrong with that.
And I don't know where or when people started feeling
like there needs to be a counsel for every decision

(01:08:37):
that another adult friend makes. Another friend was talking about
some like life decision and this is in a friend group,
and the other friend was like, oh, well, you need
to consult the counsel, and I was like, they don't
need to ask us. Shit, are you paying anything on this?
Are you gonna be there at all ever? Are you

(01:08:57):
going to show Like sometimes like people just do things
and be there to listen, and that's just kind of
what you do as a friend. And when they do
want to share that, I'm shared. But like trying to
push somebody into fitting the mall that you said, it's
not cool and that's why I'm breaking rules. We're not
doing this. We're I'm not.

Speaker 4 (01:09:13):
We need to run this drink back next week. There's
a book I'm reading. It's called Loving What Is and
the lady there wait, Loving What Is Okay? And the
lady that wrote it her name is Byron Katie Kiki.
I am like wholeheartedly enjoying this book. She basically talks
about a lot of the things on a larger scale

(01:09:36):
of like what we kind of just talked about, and
basically like she talks about like investigating a thought people
think you need to be doing this. You need the
thoughts that people have. She oh my god, Like I
started reading this book and I was like, I'm reading
it on audible. I'm not really an audible person, but lately
I had to be audible because I want you in
the car all day, all day, buy.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
A house, hit me up. Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
So she talks about and oftentimes people don't investigate whatever
thought you have, not what somebody else has, because we'd
be real quick to jump on out of you, beat you,
sorry you. So even if it's something is like you're like,
my husband never listens to me. And she breaks it
down in the in the book, like these actual conversations

(01:10:23):
that she's had at these seminars that she has and
so and she she talks you through some of probably
the issues you've been through in a relationship, whether it's
friendship or family. These actual people that came to her
seminars and she walks them through.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
These four questions. Don't ask me what they are because
I can't remember all four of them, but basically, basically
it gets.

Speaker 4 (01:10:44):
You down to showing you that it all. It always
comes back to you. So someone being like, well, you
need to be in the relationship or somebody being like, well,
why didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
You tell us? She it is?

Speaker 5 (01:10:55):
It is?

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
Actually the book is such a good book. And at
first I was like, I don't want to read another
book with an old white lady tell me what to do,
and it actually makes sense, but I can.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
But you do love that girl.

Speaker 4 (01:11:08):
Because they'd be honest something, And I'm like, not that
black women don't, but I'm like this, somebody's so many
reasons another white lady, But I absolutely love what she's
talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
If you guys are.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
How does it come back to you though? Do you remember?

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
So basically what will happen is she.

Speaker 4 (01:11:24):
It shows you how what I've said a lot honestly,
it is like you kind of attract what you are
like the A lot of times it's the worst self,
the worst part of you.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
That's what I mean. My mama, my mama butt has.

Speaker 4 (01:11:35):
A situation like that where you're like, somebody never listens
to you, and then she makes you go back into
your life and see do you listen to people? Mm hmm,
And the outcome is typically like you met your match, bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
I feel them like I end up in situations a
lot of times. Every time my mom ladies. But other
times too, I'm like, this is a reminder to check
myself and like, these are little things you don't like it,
you'd be doing, tone it down, dial it back, And
I just hate that I need those reminders so much.
I've got to start listening.

Speaker 4 (01:12:08):
Yeah, I just like the way she breaks it down
in a gentle way.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
It's not mean.

Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
It's not like she's like how I just said it,
it's not rough, like she really does make like, uh
design the conversation to where it's very gentle, and the
questions make you. She makes you take out whatever you're
saying the other person is doing. She makes you change
their name out for you, for you, like me, I
don't listen to you, and then it comes it ends

(01:12:34):
up like unfolding into this whole story and then it'll
come out like what you're really trying not to uh
face in yourself, And it makes you realize how often
we be trying to talk about everybody else. And it's like, bro,
if you just point the finger of you, you will
likely fix whatever issue.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
You got going on.

Speaker 3 (01:12:52):
Sometimes I think I just don't like the person, the
person that is doing whatever's annoying me. Sometimes I'm like,
I think it's I don't really like you, like you've
got at incompatible and so like instead of continuing to
do I don't have to don't. You're not my child.

(01:13:12):
I just need to let go. Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
It's interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:13:16):
It really is interesting when you just dig a little
bit deeper into investigating, like why you think the way
that you think, If you think somebody should be listening
to you more, if you think somebody should be treating
you better, like, investigate the thought, because are you treating
you better?

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
And if you're not?

Speaker 4 (01:13:33):
Like I had a friend a couple of days ago
talk to me about something that she wanted the man
in her life to do. And it was okay, it
wasn't rude. It was just she was like, I really
do because I'm the mind of my business. I'm not
telling you, bitch is nothing. I don't know nothing. The
more I learn, I don't know nothing. And she's like,
I really do want you to just give me a comment.
I said, well, this is what I'm going to say.
And I love you, and I love you and I

(01:13:53):
love you more than anything, but I think you're asking
somebody to give you something that you're not even giving yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (01:14:00):
So how in the world do you think that's gonna happen.
You're asking somebody to to give you something that you
don't even have the tools to give yourself, and you're
also not trying to.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
How do you think you're gonna get it from the outside?
You're not period.

Speaker 4 (01:14:16):
It's not a comment after that, it's not an exclamation
where I'm not screaming it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
It's a period.

Speaker 4 (01:14:20):
So until you dive deeper, he not gonna dive deeper.
And I'm telling myself that too. It's like, that is
just the reality of like certain situations. You're begging somebody
to see you, you don't see you. You're begging somebody
to believe in you. You don't believe in you. And
that's a tough conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Yeah, it really is. Any last notes on rules were breaking.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
We break them, motherfuckers. All right, take the drink.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
Can I try to purposely make life? This one's got
no sugar? Okay? Oh, I did have a question I
wanted us to answer. If you don't have an answer,
we can say before another time. But the last thing
that I want to ask before we move on is
what part of yourself. Are you proud of when it

(01:15:16):
comes to love and relationships today?

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
That's a good question. Oh, and I have an answer.
Oh okay. My answer is.

Speaker 4 (01:15:32):
I am proud of myself when it comes to loving relationships.
I'm proud of myself for moving on when it's time
to move on. I won't allow myself to be mistreated.

(01:15:57):
I won't allow my and this is tried and true.
Even if I love you, I won't allow even if
I mess up in it. And then in a moment
I was like, maybe I could do this. I won't
allow you to. I'm sorry, it's okay. I won't allow

(01:16:19):
you to change who I am at my core. And
that's really hard to stay true to yourself where you
really care about somebody. And I'm really proud of myself
for that because I'm in a position right now where
I've had to really just start all the way over

(01:16:42):
from what feels like scratch and it's okay, it's okay.
I'm really big on And I didn't really know this
about me because I am a lover girl, I'm a dreamer,
I'm a I love, I love really hardy. But I
won't let you come into my life and take away

(01:17:04):
the pieces.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
Of me that matter to me and make me who
I am.

Speaker 3 (01:17:08):
Yeah, it's important to be you. Do you feel like
as you are spending more time with yourself and getting
to know yourself better, it makes it easier to feel that,
Like how you know going forward, I'm not going to like,
do you feel stronger in that area? I guess that's
what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:17:26):
I don't know if I'm like at that point yet,
like where I feel stronger. If I'm just being honest, like,
I don't know, I feel like I'm like, for the
first time in a minute, thank you Waren.

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
Learning how to heal without like a like a person
to lean on. Mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (01:17:53):
And so I don't, I won't. I don't know if
it's I don't know if I feel the stronger yet.
But but like people say all the time, do it,
do it scared, do it weak?

Speaker 1 (01:18:02):
Do it like you can't, I can't.

Speaker 4 (01:18:04):
Just like we sit here on the show and be
telling the girls like sometimes this shit really is hard
to like not to choose to.

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
Not like be with somebody that you want to be with. Yeah,
I mean it's always hard.

Speaker 3 (01:18:14):
We're just trying to teat y'all, so you don't be
living in fucked up situations. You know, it's like sometimes
you can see it. It's hard to do it, yeah,
always hard to do it. But yeah, but that doesn't
We're still gonna try to tell you right and right.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
And yeah, and so I don't know if I feel
the strength yet, and I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:18:32):
I don't know if I will, but I do know
I don't want like when we sit here and when
I sit here and be saying like, I don't want
to be in a marriage and be miserable. I don't
want to have a baby by somebody and be like
I wish I didn't have the baby by you.

Speaker 1 (01:18:43):
I really don't want to do that. Yeah, I don't.
So like not wanting to do that takes sometimes you
got to do some change.

Speaker 3 (01:18:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:18:52):
So I didn't think that was gonna make me cry.

Speaker 3 (01:18:56):
We're emotional girls. Something tomorrow. I just ended mind, thank God.
So hopefully my mood will level out by Saturday. I
don't know. It's just like for me, I would say
what I'm wasn't one of my most proud of I
don't work the question I forgot. Okay, what part of
yourself are you proud of when it comes to love

(01:19:18):
and relationships, today, I would say that I'm proud of
myself for trying, because the work in progress, but I'm
actively trying and being vocal about it, not expecting people
to read my mind was establishing stronger boundaries. Next step

(01:19:40):
is consequences, but right now, stronger boundaries and sticking to
them and not trying to meet somebody else's standard. I
have done that in other areas of my life, but
like love and relationships, I mean I wasn't mean nobody's standard,

(01:20:03):
but like how I would feel sometimes about it has
changed and now I'm more comfortable in how I feel.
And it's like I know that I'm making the decisions
that are right for me and then make me happy
and then leave me at peace. And as long as
I'm okay, and whoever I choose to be involved with
is okay, that's what really matters. The outside noise doesn't

(01:20:24):
matter as much. And part of that is also having
to let my guard down more and let somebody in.
That is hard. I don't really like it all the time.
I do like the benefits, but I don't like none
of the like other shit, I don't like I don't
like dealing with anything negative when it comes to the men.

(01:20:47):
But what you mean, like anything any annoying? I don't
want to deal with shit, you know, So why I'm
not really a relationship type of person. I'm short few.
I told you I'm emotionally this some chemicals are wrong,
or at least you know. Yeah, I know it, and
I just you know, I'm just gonna work on it,
pay about it, and try new tactics. Maybe I'll start

(01:21:11):
reading self help books next year. But it feels good
to be more open, allow, more loving, stop running away
from people who care, and stop running into the arms
are the ones who want to hurt you. It's just
like having not done. But I am doing so much

(01:21:32):
better in making better decisions, not always the best, but
better decisions, and being comfortable in it, and not feeling
the need to like do certain things to appease anybody else,
because fuck everybody, how do I feel? Because you people
please all day and they not pleased, and neither of you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
What does that make?

Speaker 3 (01:21:54):
That's another insane asylum action and I need to stop
doing that. So yeah, that's what I'm proud of, making
changes in a positive direction, opening up to love creating boundaries,
sticking to them, and yeah, consequences come in summer twenty
twenty five.

Speaker 4 (01:22:11):
The lady that wrote that book I was just talking
about Byron Katie. She wrote this book after she had
checked herself into an insane asylum.

Speaker 3 (01:22:18):
I might need to go.

Speaker 1 (01:22:19):
There's been several times and I've been like.

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
A little I'm scared though, and then I watched girl interrupted.
I'm like, it's not gonna be like this. That was wild.

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
No, you here playing? You about to get your A
order stabbed?

Speaker 3 (01:22:33):
Yeah, so I wouldn't be doing that. But if you've
ever gone and you really did get help, you want
to share your experience? Yeah, do you want to share
your experience?

Speaker 4 (01:22:44):
Come on? I would love to actually a great conversation
like do you did love ever drive you up the road.

Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
Into that place to talk to that lady?

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
What happened? We want to know? Tell your story with us.
We'll be real calm that day. Anyway. I guess that's it.
It's all the time we have for that today, and
we can move on to a quick advice. Do you
want to read the one that's for my night because
yours is very long. We'll go go time for that okay.
In short, oh yes, And.

Speaker 1 (01:23:14):
When we come back from Indecisive thing and we'll read
the advice. Would you stop figuring about what everyone wants?
Stop thinking about what I want? What do you want?
What your parents want?

Speaker 4 (01:23:25):
What do you want? What do you want?

Speaker 3 (01:23:29):
What do you want? What do you want?

Speaker 2 (01:23:38):
Hey, ladies, it's me Tian and this week, here's what
I want you to do. I want you to grab
your babe, put on some active clothes, go to the
gym and get in shape together. Here's what I realized
about working out with your partner. It really teaches you
how to communicate.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
Try it out.

Speaker 4 (01:24:03):
Bye.

Speaker 3 (01:24:33):
Okay, we're back from Indecisive Diane and it's time for advice.
We have one quickie okay. This one is titled missing
my fur Baby. Hey, ladies, I'm a new listener. I've
been binge watching y'all for like three weeks. Now, Wow,
you have a lot to catch three weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
Wow, you have so much to go through with us. Welcome. Okay,
I even made my fiance. Bye.

Speaker 4 (01:24:58):
I'm curious to know cars y'all can still get them?
Got I'm curious no dot com and order your deck now?

Speaker 1 (01:25:05):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:25:05):
Anyways, I just got rid of my dog I had
for three years. I had him since he was six
weeks old and I currently miss him now and it's
only been two days. But y'all, he was doing so
much when we had him. He was breaking out his cage,
fucking up stuff around the house. I had to buy
like six blinds for the windows because he kept messing
them up.

Speaker 1 (01:25:22):
We got a dogshop when he would break out. I
think he had adhd. He was the doggies could get that.

Speaker 4 (01:25:30):
Maybe it was a miniature pincher. He was always hyper
asf and he was a dogs and mix. Honestly, I
don't know what that nigga was mixed with.

Speaker 1 (01:25:41):
I'll send a picture at the.

Speaker 4 (01:25:42):
End, But y'all, I miss him, and I gave him
to this old white couple and I can't get him back.

Speaker 1 (01:25:47):
Should I get it to your dog?

Speaker 4 (01:25:49):
This is so interesting? And if so, what kind of
dog should I get? Doesn't have to have a lot
of energy? And what kind of dogs do y'all have?

Speaker 3 (01:25:58):
Have a need to get a senior citizen doll or
not a puppy? I have a Kava poo and I
love her dearly.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
Would you say she's hyper?

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
I think chipping blinds down.

Speaker 3 (01:26:12):
Yeah, she's not overactive. She does have energy. She's still
a puppy, I guess. But she has energy. But she
will also chill out and we can watch TV together.
She also enjoys the Megan Markle Show and we will
just watch it and chill so she can be calm.

Speaker 4 (01:26:28):
My dog has always been an old lady. I don't
like she got her when she was three.

Speaker 1 (01:26:33):
She was a rescue.

Speaker 4 (01:26:34):
But I say, you get an older dog, or get
a breed that just doesn't have a lot of energy.

Speaker 1 (01:26:39):
Maybe a hound. They so goddamn wow, they allowed maybe
a little maybe a doodle. Doodles got energy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:49):
Yeah, I don't know, she's not that hyper. Maybe it
depends on what kind of poodle they're mixed with.

Speaker 1 (01:26:58):
That was a doodle?

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
Aren't doodles the poodle mixes? Oh yeah, yeah, so she's
a dude.

Speaker 4 (01:27:06):
What is it?

Speaker 3 (01:27:06):
Doodle mix? What is a Doodles? Are all the poodle mixes?
So it's like it could be any kind So like
a golden doodle is a golden Retriever and a poodle. Okay,
she's a kava pool Some people call them kavoodles, but
doodle is a poodle mix. Okay, poodles we haveing energy.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
Yeah, poodles, we have energy.

Speaker 4 (01:27:30):
You need to go to the go to your local
shelter and just ask them what's a breed of a
dog that they have this' or an older dog that's
not hyper Yeah, because my sister she one time got
a miniature pincher and she ended up giving away two
to an old white cup.

Speaker 3 (01:27:46):
On walker has that he be turned up and showing
his teeth like he's gonna do something. You're not about
to do nothing to my baby girl. Okay, I don't
blay about that anyways. Good luck. I hope you find
a baby. Okay. Now we're gonna want some cocktails. We
only have time for one. If you have a cocktails
that you want to share, send it to cocktails at
at no cocktails at cocktails pot dot com. My bad u.

Speaker 2 (01:28:10):
Uh huh uh uh huh.

Speaker 3 (01:28:18):
But i'mon couples on me.

Speaker 1 (01:28:23):
Is it some catch in the place that somebody sat
your plate once upon a time, not long ago, I
was a.

Speaker 3 (01:28:34):
This uh person sent a picture?

Speaker 1 (01:28:35):
You want to read it?

Speaker 4 (01:28:36):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:28:37):
You read?

Speaker 3 (01:28:37):
Okay, So this is a couple and it's written from
one person. But she sent a picture, so I put
it in here so you can see if you wanted to. Anyway,
she says, Hello ladies, Uh my girlfriend and I love
you all the way from h Town. We can't wait
for y'all to start touring again. We will fly out
to wherever just to see y'all live. Well, let's get
right into it. It was Halloween night in Houston. After

(01:28:59):
arriving home from a night out in the streets, all
we wanted to do was half our bodies aligned with
each other. That Don Julio had us acting a folio.
We started kissing one of those intents makeout sessions. Oh
it was in your voice? What is that?

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
How would I say that?

Speaker 3 (01:29:17):
Maybe you said it sexy. I don't have a sexy
voy We started kissing one of those intents makeouts. I
don't know, okay anyway, where you are breathing heavily, but
it doesn't matter that you're out of breath because you
can't have enough of them juicy lips. One thing led
to another, and we were now in the bedroom, stripping

(01:29:38):
down out of our clothes. All I wanted was for
our wet, juicy pussy lips to touch. She then pushes
me back onto the bed frame so that she can
just reach the nightstand. A ghost face mask is one.
It's suddenly placed over my head. It was the most
sexy maybe she meant sexiest thing. It felt in a
way as if I had a blindfold on. The kissing

(01:30:01):
immediately begins very intensely. At this point, my nipples were
so hard and pussy was dripping and throbbing. She begins
to go down to kiss my hard nipples, and as
I thought she was coming to continue to go further down,
she hops off the bed and goes into her closet.
She returns with a ghost face mask for herself and
with the rose. Y'all know the rose. I was so

(01:30:23):
ready for her. She got on top of me so
gentle and kissed my neck so softly. As she went
down to kiss my nipples. I was very much ready
to feel her tongue in between my pussy lips. She
slowly made her way down while she started. While she
started so gently rubbing her tongue on my heart clit.
She began to apply the rose onto her clit while

(01:30:46):
continuing to rub her tongue on my clt faster and
faster the rose onto her wait mussed upb oh switching
up from rubbing her tongue on my clip, going down,
going up and down on my wet pussy lips until
she orgasmed all over the rows, just for her to

(01:31:07):
get on top of me to finish me off by sissoring.
Our pussy lips were so wet against each other. I
was so turned on that it did not take me
long to finish. Thanks for taking the time to read
my cocktail and remember stay wet and freak.

Speaker 1 (01:31:24):
So innocent in this picture. Who wrote this? Which one
of them you think.

Speaker 3 (01:31:28):
She did on the left. It was in the email
and she said what did she say there? She was like,
I'm the Mexican one and not the white Karen something kind.
I'm not going something. She's like, it was funny the
way she wrote it. I was like, girl, I didn't
think you was that. But thank you ladies for sending
in your cocktails. Remember it's cocktails at cocktailsquy dot com.

(01:31:52):
If you want to share on the show, send it
there and make sure you check the description box for
the links to everything today, and also make sure you're
following us on Instagram. We're at Cocktails Podcast. I'm at
Kiki said, so, I'm at Coffee Bean Day and until
next week, you guys, goodbye.

Speaker 4 (01:32:08):
Goodbye bye bye bye bye bye dot dot b relation,
goodbye bye bye dry bye bye bye

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Ep. 444 "Rule Breakers" with Kiki Said So & Medinah Monroe

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