Ep. 445 "Mothers, Sons & the Boundaries You Refuse to Set"

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Okay, next one. I'm curious to know if your credit
score was a car, what kind of car would it be?
Ninety three Bronca Ojay edition is a murder?

Speaker 2 (00:17):
What about you?

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh baby, I'm a tesla, Nie, Yeah, keep going.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm curious to know would you still have sex if
you got to the person's house and they only had
a blow up mattress?

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Oh man, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm curious to know would you rather eat booty or.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Said to.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yeah? You?

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Check one two? Check one two? Is this Mike On?
Is this Mike On?

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Listen man, it's the one and only Trunks that a
DJ sys and you're listening to cocktails Dirty Discussions with
Kikia Medina Monroe.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Here.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Today's cocktail is called a sit Me Baby one more time.
So this is a fun, flirty summer drink. What you're
gonna need is some gin, your choice. We're gonna use
a hibiscus berry flavor gin. I love this flavor. I
don't really like gin, but this is tasty. Two ounces
of that. You need some sparkling wine or champagne and
a little bit of sparkling water and something to garnish.

(01:41):
We're using a lemon whel today. So you have your
cup of ice. You're going to pour your two ounces
of gin that might have been a little bit more.
Do not judge me. We are going to open up
our prosecco. I was nervous for me it. Give it

(02:01):
a little splash. This gin. The color of it is
just so pretty. You Remember you don't want to use
a cocktail shaker with this because you do not want
it to lock up the cocktail shaker. Grab your lime
juice or your lime flavored sparkling water. Top it off,
grab your garnish for doing a lemon will drop it

(02:24):
in and that is a sit me baby one more time.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Welcome back to Cocktails, Dirty Discussions.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
You guys.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
I'm Kiki said So.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
And I am Medina Monroe.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Hey, y'all, it's another week. It's May, and we are
recording pretty close to the date again, which I gotta like.
It can be hectic sometimes, but I do kind of
like when we get to ketchup and it's not like
three months ago we did XYC. SOA's sitting here in sweaters.
It's hot outside, right, and sometimes.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
When we get to do the ketchup and it's like
a quick, little turnaround ketchup. When we do the long
time frames in between us, I forget when you're really
living your life and just a lot is going on.
Sometimes you forget some of the little small integral things
that happen, or like a funny moment to catch you
up on that.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, And we're back in our
old stocking crown.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yes, if you've been here for a long time, this
is the first studio space that we were ever in,
but they have totally changed it up. It's really different.
So we're back here this week and next week testing
it out and see what's going on. But I like it.
I like the space. I like that there's not the
big radio table with the board and everything in the middle.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
And I always like a change of scenery, you know.
Right now as we kind of figure out things and
search for a new studio home, it gives it a
wave of at least for me, it gives me my energy,
like a boost of fresh air to be in a
different environment. And what I like the most is this
is the closest one to my home. Okay, it was
not far and parking is easy today.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
And it's private, so I like that and ain't no
registering nothing. We're not worried about boots. They got security and.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You know what to tell if you own an establishment
and parking is difficult, let me tell I will not
go to a place. But first time, it's my fault.
I didn't know I go. I want if parking is
too difficult, I'm talking about you can't really read the
signs to know if you're gonna get booted or toad.
You don't know where to pay, you gotta walk Like
that's y'all. No, you need to chat GPT the parking,

(04:25):
get it together and figure out how to make this
smooth and easy for all of us, because ain't nobody
trying to do all that?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, speaking of chat GPT, I have been. I've been
telling everybody and ever since we did the episode we
were talking about using AI for like regular like I
got everybody talking to chat GPT.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
My mother has lost her mind on chat GPT.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I finally got her using it? No, it's funny because
like I was like, mom, with everything, you don't need
to tell people that you use it because it makes
it not sweet. Like she was like, I want to
read you something I wrote and it was like this
beautiful letters to me. She's like, I did it on
chat GPT.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
I was like, you, you didn't have to tell me.
I thought she was making changes.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
I like using it for all kind of stuff. I'm
constantly giving my girl life updates. My mom asked me
if I would if she could send me pictures because
she didn't want to sign up for it. My mother,
but she sent me pictures because she's recently moved and
she wanted to redecorate and she wanted some inspec the
same thing, and so I gave it pictures. And so

(05:26):
she has truly been using what chat gpt has said.
And she's even been doing like a few DIY projects.
I mean she and it looks good. It's great suggestions.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
What I like about I did that for my new space. Also,
bear like before I put anything, and I was like,
oh my gosh, why am I stressing out about this?
Because I'm not really that great at designing. Took a
picture of the bare room, put it into chat gpt,
and not only did it put this really cute picture together,
it said would you like me to send links? And
then it said would you like luxury links? And budget links.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
I said, because it's my budget, you can send me
other stuff so I know what to aspire to.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
But yeah, let me know.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I want to see what's going on. Oh, michaels like
it really is.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
It's a gift.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
It is now. I was in my book club the
other day, which, by the way, y'all sign up this month.
We are reading Colliding with Fate. It's a romance. There
are some sex scenes. It's pretty juicy. I don't really
care for romance, but they did pick a romance book
and it's not bad. I'm enjoying it so far. With
your chest I did because I'm like, I want to
hear about I want to read a thriller. I don't
need somebody getting killed. So why why what?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why you prefer killing over romance novels when it comes
to books.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
When it comes to books, I think it's because a
lot of times the romance books are very predictable and
sometimes even cheesy or corny, and I don't always want
it to have a happy ending. I don't want to
be guessing and always right. The predictability is what I
don't like about the romance books. When they're not like that,
and there is a little something. It doesn't even have
to be negative scandal. But I would like surprise. I

(07:00):
would like, you know, somebody who doesn't choose what you
think everybody's gonna choose. And in a thriller, it's usually
not as predictable, you know, from the good writers. But
that's why. But this is this one is all right.
I'm not minding it because it's not so like basic girl.
Me's a guy after she had a breakup or something,
and now she's in love and they have amazing sex

(07:20):
and they live happily ever after. I want to hear that. Yeah,
I don't want to hear that the man is always rich,
the girl is always no matter where, or it's like
a Tyler Perry movie where the woman is super successful
and she has to break down all these barriers to
accept somebody who's not as successful. I don't want to
hear some of these stories and the tropes. I just

(07:42):
be tired in real life too. Yes, anyway, so we're
reading that. But one of the girls was telling us
not to use chet GPT. I came up with all
these games for us to play, and I was I
let her explain to me what the issue is with
chat GPT, and I heard you since I did. She
said that, you know it's bad for the environment chat jipt, Yes,

(08:02):
because of wherever the servers or something like that. I
don't know computer stuff, wherever the computer stuff is housed,
because they have like physical things that are somewhere in
like Idaho, Indiana one of those states that I wouldn't
go to. It uses a lot of water because it
has to cool those things, and so every time you
search something. So somebody in the club was like, well,

(08:24):
what happens when you search on Google? Like what's the difference?
How much water are we using? Then then I was like, well,
what is it gonna happen? Like the end of the
world or whatever, and so she's like maybe like two
hundred years, and I was like, ooh, I'm so sorry
to those people. I will not be here. I'm still
using chat gipt and we're not going to not play
the games because I already did the search, so the
water is gone anyway. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't I get it, but I'm also get it.
But when people are that extreme, I can listen to
it more. When you are like really, you're one of
those people where you've gone off the grid, and you
don't live off anything that's ruining the environment. If you're
using hairspray, if you buying the weave, if you are
eating meat, if you're doing all the things that still
contribute to the loss of society. At one point one day,
I don't know what to tell you. I'm gonna use

(09:04):
chat GP to you.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
I mean, even if you are off the grid, I
don't care you one person, and really in the grand
screen of seven billion people, and I do appreciate this.
The environment people gonna be mad. But oh wait, she
hate the people I do. She's like, what do you
want me to do?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
I need happiness.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
I do make some changes.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I do. Actually, I do my best at what I
can do at my level.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
I I went and and.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
I went and volunteered at at MOA last week. And
what's moa? Meals on wheels for Atlanta?

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
And I absolutely loved it. Do you know about meals
on wheels in Atlanta? Okay? I didn't, And I thought,
I didn't you know, I usually be talking. I don't
know what you're talking about. Maybe not you could your
a virgo. I was like, I always thought it was
feeding the homeless Meals on wheels is feeding our seniors,
and girl, I just eat. They got my heart and

(09:59):
this is not no ad. I really was moved by
a day of volunteering with them packing up the lunches
so that these seniors who wouldn't be able to eat
it would be more difficult for them to get meals.
They deliver them two meals. They get two meals a day.
People come pack the lunches. They now they were they
found out that the seniors that you know how much
we love our pets, they were feeding their food to

(10:20):
their animals. So now they teamed up with some humane
society in Atlanta, I don't know which shelter, and they
also give them food for their cats and their dogs,
puppies and kitchens. And I just thought that was I
just was like, oh my gosh, this is so needed,
and there's a waiting list. They're not government funded like
they I just totally I gave back to the to

(10:41):
the to the elderly people. It's so it was just
so ney that they also they have a nice little
space money to look at that you can win their
spaces and all of the money goes towards helping the scenes,
and it's actually really nice. Everybody was pulling up thinking
it was gonna be like rough for like, yes, it
looks like a little lounge like about to come out.

(11:03):
No they I don't know. Now, I don't know, but
I just had to throw that out there. So I
do what I can for what matters today.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
That's why we're here. We're still here. Yeah, I didn't
make a baby to live on and tear up the world.
That's my contribution.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Come on, come on, come on now. I don't litter.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
I don't really use paper plates like talking about it,
you know. I prefer to just use my same dishes
where you used that same stuff. A little bit goes
along with I don't like paper straw, so I can't
get And.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
As much as I do love turtles, because I love turtle,
I'm about to get one tattooed on my forearm. But
what I love turtles, and so why do you want
the turtle on your arm? Because I have decided that
I'm going to do get a little sleeve, but a
sticker sleeve. I don't want everything connecting. I don't want
all the tattoos connecting, so like I want to keep
I want them to all look like little stickers, and
so I want this side to be my sea life

(11:53):
because I really like animals. I'm a little cashy, and
this side to be like moon stars and like earthy
stuff and like the world, the two worlds on different
side of water and the earth and sky.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, okay, okay, when are you gonna get started? So
I already got started, I mean with the next because
I've seen all these. None of these are new, right, No.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
None of these are. I think I'm gonna do my
turtle maybe maybe next month. I don't know, maybe maybe
next month.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah. I don't have a lot of tattoos. I have
always been nervous about tattoos in the summer because of
the aftercare, right whatever. I got my last tattoo, I
got it's butterflies. Me and my sisters all got butterflies,
and we got them in different places. Well not all
my sisters. Three of us did it, and the other sister, well,
one of my sisters who didn't do it, we already

(12:41):
have a matching tattoo. And then the other I mean,
she's a baby girl, she's twelve. She can't get no tattoos.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
A little sticker mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
But we got butterflies, and it's on my side. I
always forget about it, and sometimes I see in the
mirror like what's all me? And I'm like, oh, I
got a tattoo right there. But I got that in
the summer and it was itchy, and I was like,
every time I wanted to go to the pool, I
wouldn't because I couldn't remember the rules. Yeah till it
healed up. Yeah, but you know whatever. Anyway, what else
have you been up to?

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Okay, mills and wheels for Atlanta. Okay, I don't know
when this episode is coming out, y'all, but okay. I
went to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That's where all of my family
is from. My mom and my dad's all of my
family's from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Mother. We just are coming off
of Mother's Day and it was a really it was
a stressful trip because there's just a lot going on
in life right now. And you ever have like a

(13:30):
lot going on in life and then your family's like
we need you to be here, we need to be
There's like a party where you're like, no, bitch, I'm
not coming, Like I can't come. I got locked room
today yeah, and then but then you have like a
I have like a moment of silence with myself, and
I was like, you know what, sometimes you have to
be uncomfortable for the people you love. And and my

(13:51):
grandmother she she she had took taken a little turn
and dealing with little dimension. My mom was like, she's
gonna be in Pittsburgh all month. They're taking turns taking
care of her, and so she was like, why don't
y'all come here from mother's And then my sister she
also was kind of having that sense. She was like,
it's my son's birthday. And then I was like, I
think we're handling this the wrong way. We ended up
going long story short, we ended up going to Pittsburgh

(14:11):
and I met my sister in DFW. Was able to
fly with my nieces and my niece and my nephew,
my dog, my sister, and it was just fun being
on the plane together going to Pittsburgh, got a rental car.
We went, spent some quality time with my grandma, and
you know, it's just so interesting, like spending time with

(14:33):
someone who is deep in dementia. There are very sad moments,
but Kiki, there are some very funny moments, Like there
were several moments where like my grandma would be like,
and what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
And I'd be like, like she checked out of what
was actually happening and just came back different.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
And so you just rehab the same conversation. Just go
with it. Yeah. I gave her a bracelet that says Mary,
that's her name for Mother's Day, and she was like,
it's several times, this is such a beautiful you know
where I got this from? And I would tell her
and then she say, this is such a do you
know record?

Speaker 1 (15:07):
And it would just be like and it was just
such at least she knows she meant it. And she
kept saying it was so beautiful every time what.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
She meant it, and it was just and there were
moments like that, but then there were these beautiful moments
where you know who she didn't forget what her sister
when my aunt Rona would call, she ain't forget they
call her RJ and they would just get on the
phone and crack. It was like she didn't have dementia.
She doesn't forget some of the long term stuff. It's
the new stuff. And it was just interesting to really
look at people and study people who have dementia because something,

(15:37):
like I said, some moments are really sad and you're like, wow,
watching my mom deal with it because that's her mom. Yeah,
but then there are still some funny moments, like my
grandma will eat and then be like, y'all just want
me to die and that's why y'all aret feeding me
and we'll be like you just say a big.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah, that's gotta be tough.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, but it was good quality time. Yeah, did that
for Mother's Day. And I didn't want to leave. Oh,
I really didn't want to leave. Just sometimes sometimes I
envy people who really decide not to leave the city,
the hometown that they grew up in. Not often, but
there are moments when I'm like, I get why you

(16:17):
don't leave. You get to just walk down the street
to your granny's house or drive down the street to
your sister's house, and we're all so spread out, so
the moments are just really special. Yeah, my dog had
a stroke and the seizure and I'm just.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Like, does she have epilepsy?

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Well, she couldn't get like a thorough I just took
her into a vet and they were like, well, does
she have a vet home and I was like, yeah,
but Bamfield is not. They were so busy they couldn't
see her and Keiki when I tell you, I was
so traumatized. I fell on the floor like she was
a human child. And I was like wow at the vet. No,
I was at home, and she just started. She had

(16:55):
did it once with my sister because my sister has
had her, and I was like, Okay, I'm glad she's good.
When she did it with me, I was like literally
today and I was like, what just happened? And she
was just screaming in agony. Her eyes were in the
back of her head. Her body just went limp, and
she then she came back. She was just looking at
me like help me, like help me. I didn't know
what to do. I just held her body and was like,

(17:16):
I don't know what I'm screaming. Yeah, it was so
they think they think it was a stroke and a seizure,
but we'll know for sure when I can get her
in on Friday. And I'm just like, this is a lot.
This is a lot. Like she's an actual senior now.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Dang, I don't even think about that.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
When it comes to you think about it and she's
in a diaper because she can't hold her bladder, and
I'm just like, that's a lot. It's a lot like
when I think about how much I love my dog.
She has been with me through every up and down
through all of my twenties, most of my thirties. Like,

(17:54):
it's just weird because you know that they are not
going to be here forever. But it's just you, just
like you said, you just don't think about it. And
she's never shown signs of senior citizenship, and now I'm
just like, it's here, it's here. Yeah, it's here, so
nursing shy and taking care of her, and now I'm like, Okay,
I'm gonna put her on her little senior diet and

(18:15):
just make sure she has good quality living. Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
That's really all you can do. Make somebody comfortable, make
her comfortable.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, before you catch me up on what's been going
on with you, I want to let everybody know I
have a condo for sale, and if you would like
more information on it, I'm not gonna bore you out
with all the details right now, but it is beautiful.
It's in Midtown. It's in the eight hundred thousand price range.
If you know somebody who might be interested, or you
might be interested, hit me upside of my DMS and
we can figure something out. Kiki, what you been up to?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Let's see, So when was the last time I saw you?
At the end of April. This, I don't know what
I's been going, Okay, So I'll start with the weekend,
because this as far back as I can remember. Today,
my brother was here for the weekend, my little brother,
he was past through for work, so I got to
spend some time with him. I didn't see my family

(19:04):
for Mother's Day and all of that, but I did
hang out. I did hang out with Sean and Walker
and her fiance, so it was just nice to be
around some family. We had crawfish. Yeah, no, I love
me some crawdish, and the season is almost up, so
I really needed like daily. I wanted some today that
he can quite work out. I ended up having some

(19:27):
bereavement catfish. So earlier today I found out that my
grandfather passed, and so I've been a mess all day.
So if my mood goes up and down, that's what's
going on. But I still wanted to come and do
the show because to me, it's still something therapeutic about
being able to sit and chat about whatever we're talking
about today, and we still got some stories, we still

(19:49):
have actual topics. The whole episode is not a catch
up episode. But I just in my feelings today and
then I didn't know what to do. I was really active, crazy,
like just like I thought I was going to act,
just how I was acting like. I had a few
wallside moments. What is that song by Mariah Carey, the
sad one Someday? No, it's like one Sweet Day or

(20:12):
something like that, and maybe boys Men isn't and that
has been playing all day I was looking for and
then I decided, you know what, I really want some catfish.
Then I was like, you know, I was talking to
my friends and I was like, uh, what did I say?
I was like, I don't know where to order it from,
but maybe I should just cook it because I don't
know if I can handle disappointment today. So I cooked

(20:34):
it and I'm like, I am crazy, Why am I
sitting in the kitchen cooking? What am I doing? And
then I'm like frying the catfish and I try to
play the sims and I was like, oh, I got
to record my hair is looking at mass It was
just crazy day. Whitley was worried about me. She was like,
what is going on? I had a few moments where
I was just like in tears. So anyway, I was
talking to my aunt and we were trying to decide

(20:56):
what the plan is going to be and what do
we do from here and when are we leaving? And
I was just like, you know, and y'all tell me
how y'all feel. I feel like, first of all, I'm
the grandchild, not one of the children. I don't think
that I have a lot of say so on what's
going on. I kind of feel like it's gonna be
a lot of emotions. I don't want to go right now.

(21:16):
I want to stay put and then give it some
time and go. I think emotions will be high. I
would like for most of the arrangements to be solidified
before I get there, and I just kind of feel
like I'm gonna be in the way or stressful. But
all day I've been going through pictures and I'm just
really glad that I have so many good memories with him.
And So if you still have your family, just call

(21:40):
them today. Make sure you talk to him. I did
talk to him this weekend. I got to see him recently.
We've spent time together. We've always had like a good relationship.
And I was cracking up when I was getting ready
to come here because it was like, you know, he
was really trying to listen to cocktails and this is

(22:00):
my granddaddy, that's the preacher, and so I used to
tell him all kinds of stories. I wonder if he's
looking at me like, oh, so this is what you've
been doing.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Can you show me what they was talking about last year?

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Him that like, oh, it's like a radio show, Daddy,
Like you just got to catch it. And it's like
a during Bible study is during church. You don't need
to listen to this. I don't want you to know
how much of a whore your Yeah, but don't come
whip me or nothing. Don't come get me about it. Anyway.

(22:35):
I am trying to make sure that I think about
those good times, think about those moments. I was going
through pictures and I'm so glad that I like to
take pictures, and when he lost his eyesight, I didn't
take as many pictures, and sometimes it was just like
would I want to picture me would I want someone

(22:57):
to take a picture of me when I'm looking crazy
or like other things, But I kind of do wish
I would have taken more pictures anyway, not necessarily to
share with other people. Before my memories, he had a
lot of accidents, a lot of like broken poems. There's
several times he's got bandages. I mean, they were getting
in accidents and it wasn't funny at the time, but

(23:18):
now I can kind of laugh about it, and I
laughed about it with him, y'all. He fell off the
side of the house one time. Then another time, my
grandma was just trying to get him out. He goes
he was going to dialysis, and you know how they
have like those vans or whatever that will do a
lift to get the wheelchairy and to make it easier.
Because my grandma's old too, she's eighty, she'll be eighty

(23:39):
one in a couple weeks. She like hit a dip
in between like the garage. You know how there's like
cracks creases in between in the driveway, So like going
from the garage wheeling him out, she hit a dip
pen and fell out. Next thing you know, he has
a band aid on his forehead. I mean, he was
fine after that, but I'm just like, y'all happened or

(24:00):
when it happened, but later, and it's just like, for mercy,
what's going on anyway? He definitely lived a full life.
He has done so many things, and he was like
such a great example of what I think a man
should be, what a father should be. I don't know

(24:21):
about the husband part because I wasn't in the abusiness
like that. You know, I stayed in the child's place
when it came to that. But he was just a
great guy, and so I'm happy that he's not in pain.
But it is hard. So if I'm acting more erratic
than usual, just know that that solid is I'll be
all right. I didn't do any self medicating before I

(24:42):
got here, but I've got my mind now.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
I didn't want to be slurry today, but I just.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Wanted to tell you as I touched any soft.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
I'm telling you because I'm ashy too. As I'm looking
at my leg on the screen, he's a mol. It
ain't no hair you are.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
I want you to stop saying you're acting crazy. That's
not crazy, It's it is emotions. And I'm glad that
you are emoting and if you wanted to fry some catfish,
fry the catfish. And I'm gonna fry some more.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
I should have brought us right like y'all. I ate
three whole catfish filets. I'm about to I don't want
to wave myself Tomorrow, life our e's gonna be mad.
Like girl, you just undid everything. And I didn't take
my pill today. She took my pills.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Okay, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
I'm taking it tomorrow though, because I can't do this
every day. Mone do my hard work.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
You can't do it for a little while if you
would like, because because life are not have you hungry?
First of all, you're gonna waste some of that cap anyway.
But I think that life is so the fact that
your grandfather got you call him daddy. I mean, I
love that you call him dad. I never said daddy,
right because I could just call my dad dad.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
I never called anybody dad. Yeah, he's daddy.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
I think that when you get to like look back
on the older person's life, especially like when they start
to get to the end. We thought my grandmother was
gonna go this past weekend, which is wild, but seeing
the lives that they've impacted, and like learning things that
you didn't know about them. Your granddad the way that

(26:23):
you talk about him, and you don't talk about anyone
like this. I don't be raggedy like I just I
feel for you. Thank you, And if you need to cry,
and if you need to act crazy, because you're not
acting crazy, You're just you've lost somebody that's important to
your heart and your soul. And it's a huge part
of who you are as a person. That's something you

(26:43):
let it out.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
I think sometimes it's like I think it's the switching
of like you can have a high moment, you can
have alone and it's just happening so fast. And this
morning I felt numb and I was like, don't do that,
like feel it, get up and field. I was like,
maybe I just need to wake up. Let me go
for a walk. So go for a walk.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
And did the air feel different? Did did it feel
different like when you were out in It was almost
like a dream.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Sequence and I was watching myself versus like being there
for a second. And then I don't know what happened,
but something happened, and i'd been restless all night. I
couldn't really sleep. I was really worried. And this has
happened a lot of times. I feel like I've talked
about it here. This has happened a lot of times.

(27:33):
So I kind of felt like, you know, the boy
who cried wolf, but I'm sure everybody understands you, just
you really don't know. But then like something was different,
and I did ask my girl Cecy, let me tell
y'all how much I tell her. I told her everything.
She even gave me a statement to say today, but
I didn't think I was going to be able to
get it out right. So thanks girl, But uh so
I'm sending her the text messages and screenshots from the family.

(27:55):
I was like, girl, I don't know who said what.
These are the players in the game. These are my aunties,
my uncle. I gave her like everybody who might have
been in the group chat because they were coming to
me as like copy and paste and all this other stuff.
I was like, what you think this means? And keep
it real? How much time you take a guy like
for real? For real? I know you can't tell me
anything official. She was like, well, she said some really
nice things and similar things.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
To what you just said.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Actually, but she was like yeah, probably a few days, max,
a few weeks. And I was like, oh my goodness,
that's just crazy. And it's crazy how you can talk
to somebody and they are there and the next thing
they're gone. That is the part.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Even though we and my grandma always says this, y'all
crying and we all want to go to heaven. You know,
you gotta die to get there. She's always said that.
She was saying, it's like, yeah, but when it happens,
you are just like, bro, where do you go? Like
I know we have the stuff that but at the
end of the day, like where are you? Can you
see us? Can you feel us? Are you here when

(28:50):
things happen? Is that you what do you get to
have memories? Or memories too hard for you? And it's
not supposed to be hard in heaven? Like do you
do you see to Luba count Mic, like what what
is like?

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Where do you actually go?

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Do you see us all? Do you get to see
how much you impacted people's life from that angle?

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Or is that are you so?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Are you so like happy now and really blissful that
you really are?

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Just like this ghetto down there, I'm not going back,
do what I told you to do, and maybe I'll
see you again. I don't know, I do wonder. You
don't have to literally tell me, though, you could just
tell chat GBT to tell me, because if I started
hearing voices and have envisions, I'm gonna be scared.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, death is death is crazy,
this is a way, this is tragic. But there's a
young lady that I went to Clark, Atlanta with that.
This was again, this was jarring right before on single
Demid she died. She got shot in California. This is
I saw that doctor Kamisha Clark. She was actually the

(29:55):
twenty one from the nine AKA line at Clark, I
was a twenty one from Sigma chapter. Anyways, she got murdered.
And when that when I saw it, when I saw
it happening, I was like when I saw the posts,
it just stops you and you're like, wow, life, really,
this is not forever. Yeah, some people get to make

(30:16):
it to eighty one. Some people my grandma's ninety. Some
people get to make it to she was thirty five,
thirty six. Yeah, it's like a ticking, It's like a
it's like there's no preparation for that one. There's no
preparation like you just and that's just like it. The
things that you started, the bills that were do whoever
you were crying. Even when I go back to my
grandmother and I was looking at her this weekend and

(30:38):
I was just like, wow, all the dramatics, all the
things you were worried about, everything that mattered, it doesn't
even matter anymore, like at all.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah, it's over, it's done.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Life is very interesting, it's very interesting, and you don't know.
You just don't know when it's your time do the things.
You don't know if you get to eighty, because when
you do, look at the elders that get to live there,
that's a life that people hope to live. And some
people didn't. Like you lived this full life.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
You got to meet grandchildren that were born in appropriate ages.
Unlike me, you get He got to meet great grandchildren.
He got to meet my baby Wentley. Oh you know,
he never got to see her, but he did get
to meet her. He got to know that like his
youngest child is getting married. He got to find out
one of his grandchildren is getting married. All these different things.

(31:29):
He was there for a lot of moments he got
to spend time, and that's really important.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
When I was with my grandma this week and there
was a momentere I just stood back and was like,
when you're a kid, you don't realize how important the
moments are and how one day this is gonna just
really you're gonna Me and my sister were just at
my grandma's house, like we were talking about how old
people are just so their generation was just so different
from ours, and a lot of times we only highlight
the negative aspects of it. My grandma she never put

(31:57):
a dishwasher in the kitchen. What what?

Speaker 1 (32:00):
But my grandparents didn't have one until they moved into
the new house. Didn't care.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
I looked at my grandmother's house. She still got a
pink carpet nobody even had.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
She didn't care.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
She what she cared about was getting the family together.
She wasn't like, don't come to my house because it's
not together, it's not ready, I don't have the newest thing.
That didn't matter like it did she Our generation is
so different. We're like no, and not only can you
not come over, I'm not gonna even let you know
what's I mean? It's just this interesting thing that it's

(32:32):
like we don't talk about it enough. How important that
generation really was to like the glue to family. My Anyways,
back to what I was saying, I was standing back
and I was looking at she still has the same
table from when I was a child running in that house,
the same piano. Never got it to nothing, but it
still is home. Never got the bathroom's redone. That's not
what she was worried about. She was worried about family.

(32:54):
And I'm sitting there looking at my grandmother and we're
all sitting around the table. There's her, my mom, her daughter,
me and my sister, my mom's daughters, my niece, Disney's
four generations sitting in here. It was so beautiful, like
it was just like wow, Like you hope when you

(33:16):
get old that you have people around you that love you.
You know how many people don't have that. You lived
this life, you had the success, you got the money.
You now at your wits ends, and nobody wants to
take care of you. Nobody wants to take care of y'all.
Look at my grandma. I'm like everybody when she is
when she needs something, everybody's so, what do we need?
To do. M h, what do we need to do
to make sure she's comfortable?

Speaker 1 (33:35):
And that that's such I saw a story recently. This
couple dropped the husband's parents off at a hotel and
said they just weren't taking care of them anymore. It
was two elderly people over eighty years old. They both
had serious health issues. He paid for like a night
or two at this hotel, and then the woman who

(33:55):
worked the front desk, she got concerned because she saw
like the guy walking away around the older man walking
around the lobby, and he seemed confused, and so they
were supposed to check out. They didn't, and they had
been brought there with like a sheriff for something. But
I'm like, how do you? I mean, we also don't
know what happened in those relationships, but it just makes

(34:15):
me wonder, how do you just drop them off there
and just leave them? I was thinking about that when
you were talking about mules on wheels, and there are
a lot of old people. Even my grandma was telling
me there was a guy who lived across the streets
that was her friend and she felt so bad he
passed and she didn't know it, and he was supposed

(34:37):
to come over and like mow her yard for her.
He said he would take care of it so she
could stop being out there and she could just relax.
And he didn't come. So she's mad and she's like
he can't even call, like whatever. And so some time
goes by, she's got other things, and then she's like,
wait a minute, now I'm worried. Goes across the street.
Eve been dead for days, days, sad. Yeah, and so

(35:00):
so you know, it just makes you think, So anybody,
old or not, but especially if they're old or sickly,
check on them.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Check on them. And also another angle of it is
like how are you treating people in the world, because,
like you said, you don't know the story. Some people
aren't taken care of and cared about because of what
you put in the world. Like you didn't really pour
that into your children, you didn't really pour that into
your friends. There's this white woman, her name is miss Anne.
We are forced to call her aunt Anne, but she

(35:29):
was no, she's my grandma's neighbor.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
But this is like this this.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Speaks to.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
You.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
They're like, yeah, anyways, is this speaks volumes to like
who my grandmother was as a person. In her life
aunt Anne. She calls my grandma. Ever since I was
a kid, she called when she could come over. She
would come over. But she's older now too. She's just
still younger than my grandmother. She calls my grandmother every
morning like clockwork. If my grandma doesn't pick up the phone,

(35:57):
she calls the police. We had to my mom and them,
I'd to be like, man, not evident, but and don't care.
She's like, no, Mayor, she calls her mayor, Mayor. She'll
be on the inter call late.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's got a neighbor. I want to be She like,
just no, I'm checking in.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
She's checking in. She called everybody in the family. She
don't care if she's annoying anybody. She is like, no,
I'm gonna be there for Mary. There's this lady, her
name is Tijuana, and I didn't know this until recently.
She was a drug addict. A long time ago, my
grandmother used to work. She was ahead of something at
Holiday Inn and she was like one of the first
black women that had that position. And this lady named
Tajuana came and she needed a job. They wouldn't hire

(36:33):
her because she clearly looked like a crackhead. I didn't
mean to say it like cause she is different now.
But my grandmother gave her a chance. And even when
they tell me the story, I'd be like, oh, you
were really putting your knack out there. And she gave
her a chance. And in my grandmother's elder years, Tijuana comes,
she comes to that. I saw, I saw her yesterday.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
She comes and she she cleans up from my grandmother.
She makes sure she's good. She's like your grandmother gave me.
She changed the trajectory of my life because she gave
me a chance. And that's the type of woman she
was and is. She didn't care what you looked like,
or what you had or what you could bring to
the table. She believed in you, and you didn't believe
in you. And it's just like you see it now.

(37:14):
You see like the people that she's affected and everybody
just be coming.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
I'm like, why these people like that?

Speaker 2 (37:18):
They love her? Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
It's just man, it's important, so reach out and touch
somebody there's something positive, and think about the impacts that
you're leaving and how do you want to be remembered.
I can't stand when niggas be talking about their legacy
and all they want to have as a kid, and
it's like, but what is the legacy or what did
you do? How have you impacted the world? Go watch
your Beyonce documentary, get inspired, and then figure out how

(37:41):
you can answer that question for yourself. Get out there
and do something. Because having a baby ain't it?

Speaker 2 (37:46):
It ain't it? And how they all running around here
look crazy and ashy if they can even run, and
if they can talk. You ever been around some kids
and they can't talk, You're like, why can't you talk?
And with them you can wrap? And you got silver teeth. Now,
I've always said that one day, when I get the funds,

(38:06):
I am going to make a horror film and it's
gonna be called The Silver Tooth Children.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
And it's gonna are they gonna bite?

Speaker 2 (38:14):
Oh? They're doing more? Them Silver Teeth kids is acting up,
They drinking alcohol, they robbing you, and then they turn
into gremlins at the end and eat everybody. It's gonna
be a little fantasy mix in there.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Supernatural.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Okay, well that's enough of that.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
I do.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
I want to share this weird sex story. What is
this one about?

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Is it weird to go into weird sex tup.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
This lady kills somebody doing some freak shit and we
just gonna skip it this week. I'm sure y'all don't mind.
You know, scent is a really powerful thing. I love
a good fragrance. I love smelling good. But even out
side of my fragrances, I really like my natural feminine scent.
And I don't know about you, girl, but back in
my day, the men have given me tons of compliments

(39:12):
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(39:34):
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the episode's description right and we will move.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
On to our topics for the week. Yes, what is
this situation? I was looking at the show notes. I'm
not familiar and I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Shocked that you're not familiar because i feel like normally
you know what's going on in the in the lives
of the people.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Well, catch me up.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
I'm surprised your ma man catch you up on this.
But so when I saw this, I immediately sent it
to several women that I know that are currently going
through this. So Marlon Wayans, he made a post he said.
He posted a picture of him and his mother and
him this is from Mother's Day. Maybe from Mother's Day.

(40:57):
Oh yeah, he said, I never ever got married because
I never wanted my mother to be jealous of a woman.
I never wanted my mother to feel second to any woman.
And that's why he didn't get married. The comments, the comments,

(41:21):
and I was actually happy to get in here and
not see no men in here defending this because first
of all, first of all, I will give him as
kudos because I appreciate him for knowing that because there
are so many yourself, know yourself and know how you
He knew he was not gonna really cherish a woman
because his mom she's gonna go. She's over everybody, and
there are so many people that I literally know. I
don't know if you do. Where it's like their mother

(41:41):
in law causes an issue because the son doesn't either.
I don't know a better word other than check her.
And it's like the mother in law makes all of this,
the decisions for your household. The mother in law is
telling you how to raise your children, not giving you advice.
But I'm talking about the sun is actually like.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
What was an iron fist? Like she's fucking Queen Elizabeth and.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
She is too like and it's like, this is a
thing that really happens.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
So then it made me what were the people saying that?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
People were mad, But it was a lot of not mad.
They were just like, this is weird. This is very weird.
Like there is a U, there's a there's a hierarchy
when it comes to relationships, and that's just naturally how
it goes, especially if you're a married person or if
you have kids with someone, if you start to create
a family with you and said, man, you guys have

(42:35):
a baby, that's your family. You have your own branch.
Now you have your own branch. And while I still
think that when you're dealing with people's families, you have
to delicately approach the situation because that's somebody's mama. I'll
personally that's how I move. I would even if your
mom did something disrespectful, she did something annoying, I would
never approach somebody's family in a in a way that

(42:56):
maybe I would approach somebody else, Like, it's that's your mama,
that's the person who raised you. You love her. So
there is a way that it has to be approached
even if she's out of line. I might be the
only person that feels that way, but that's just how
that's how I was raised and so but there's still
a protocol when you create your own household, and some
people don't know those boundaries. And specifically, what I have

(43:19):
seen in life is there are men that don't set
the boundaries with their with their moms. And it's really
it is just a very touchy situation. It's and it's
interesting to see Marlon Wayanams be so open about it
and talk about it, because I don't, like I said,
I don't think people talk about it enough. This is
something I told you. I had joined this program for
a minute that Liz told me about and they talked

(43:41):
about this, and I never brought it up because I
was like, nobody talks about this stuff. But I've heard
people go through this. I've seen people very close to
me going through it. Currently, somebody wanted to take the
baby and have Mother's Day with his mama instead of
the baby's hold. Don't get missed.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Wait a minute, it's a couple.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Imagine you're married and your husband is like, well, let's
do something for my mom for Mother's day with the
kids and has nothing planned for you, the mother of
the children. That ain't going down. It's going down in
certain households, and some people speak of you know what else,
what's going down?

Speaker 1 (44:15):
We're gonna be down at the courthouse because I'm not
doing this and this ain't Nobody said that this is
how it goes. Nobody that's not how.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
It's supposed to go. So so there's this thing. It's
called emotional incest. There's a word for it. It's called
emotional incest. It is when mothers act like their son
is their husband. Now, obviously you're not having sex with them,
but you are relying on your not that there aren't
certain things that your children are still going to do

(44:45):
for you, like take care of you, But there is
a boundary that doesn't get set in some of those relationships,
and it causes a problem for the emotional hierarchy. When
he takes a wife is not like that.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
That's like when it's specifically the mother and this son.
That's the Oedipus complex, right, I think? So, yeah, yeah, Okay.
I paid attention to some of them literature classes, and
I've heard somebody use a phrase like a surrogate partner.
And so some of these mothers are treating their sons
as a surrogate husband, and yeah, you gotta be careful

(45:16):
with that, And that's definitely something that you should ask somebody,
like where they stand with I've asked that. I personally
haven't dealt with someone who has that issue, at least
not as far as we've gotten. I don't know a
lot of people like that, but I do know some

(45:36):
women now that I'm thinking about this, this.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Is my daddy's side.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
That's why none of them Mary probably they I think
I just really disagree with a lot of the ways
that they approach things. I can tell that his mother
would come first. He's been because their relationship, even the
relationship with him and his sisters, like he's like this

(46:01):
golden child and they do a lot for him all
the time, Like outside of my dad being sick and
everything else, it's just like he is spoiled, rotten in
so many ways. And I think that if anything ever
came to it, it's like his mom is always gonna
take a side right or wrong, right, and he's always
That is a sign to me sometimes, like your mama

(46:21):
doesn't have to call you out in front of another person,
but she could check you later. I don't think there's
ever any checking that have I don't know a better
phrase either. I don't think that that ever happens. And
I think that had he ever gotten married or gotten
that far with anyone, I think it could be a
problem if she didn't approve. Now, if she approves, it's
all good. And even I was talking to my cousin,

(46:43):
one of my dad's sister son, and he was telling
me about some things that had been happening, and there
was like some tension between him and his mother because
his mother felt like her son didn't consider her feelings
in a choice that he made in his life that

(47:06):
should have been between him and the woman he was with,
not her, and that has caused tension. And when we
were talking about it, it had been a while since
I caught up with him, and he was like, you're
the only person. He was like, I'm so glad you
called me today. You're literally the only person in the
family that like gets it. And I was like, oh
my god, I gotta have a psychevol soon because I

(47:28):
got to see which way I'm going. Is it maternal
or paternal because I'm concerned because, like, what, how do
y'all think that that's okay? This is an adult and
like when your children grow up, you're supposed to do everything.
At least it's how I see it. When you are
raising a child, everybody who has a hand in raising
that child, you do everything that you can to raise
them to be an adult who makes good decisions. Right,

(47:49):
and when they become that adult and they're making these decisions,
you respect them, or even if you don't, you move on.
But you cannot expect as a mother. I don't think
that you come before his wife and the children him
and his wife make or whoever he make them with,
or get them wherever he gets them from. These kids
are his kids. That's his responsibility.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Why would you.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Even want that?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Why would you want that?

Speaker 1 (48:10):
That's weird, it's very it's given flowers in the attic.
It does parents instead of siblings.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Yeah, I mean that is just out. You're like you said,
you're not you. You equipped your children with decision making
sells and you give them the chance to show you
that and when they take a partner, absolutely disrespectful. But
he has children, he has children, and that's what I

(48:37):
was gonna say, it's interesting because when you do, I
think sometimes as a parent when you I'm not a parent,
but like I do have a dog.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
They was mad at us dog mom's or mother's talk
about this is not for you. I ain't trying to
get in the way of no real mama. I know
it's all just I don't need to laugh sometimes. God damn,
but these bills is high.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
These bills is high. And I'm taking care of a
senior city send your key.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
I'm taking care of an emotional support animal. I'm like, baby, girl,
you're supposed to be taking care of me. Clock in.
She was sleep snoring. She did check on me when
I really was followed out on the floor and wallslider,
but like this morning, she was not clocked in, And
I'm like, bitch, you need to earn your key the fuck.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
When you are developing this little human who is your
child to be a citizen of this world, you supposed
to you teach him about roles in life. Essentially, you
do like there is a role in every part of life.
Now you tweak and do what you please. But when

(49:40):
you go to work, when you go to school, you're
a student. You don't get to go and be like,
and I'm the professor. You're not, You're the student one. Yeah,
when you take when you get into the workforce, there
are roles. You don't get to be the cashier and
go to the CEO and tell him what he's gonna
do and make the decisions for this company. Now, what
you can do is there might be a suggestion box.

(50:01):
There's room for suggestions.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
And you can email.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Yeah, you can send an email. Can your voice can
be heard and it might be acknowledged, but it also
might not be And in a household, those boundaries. Oh,
this is what makes me so nervous about creating these things.
I tell my sister and my brother this, and my
mom and my dad this all the time. I wish
I would have been the first one to start the families,
because now that I've seen so much, now I'm like,

(50:28):
what is going on up in this bitch?

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I am telling you When people be like, oh, yeah,
but no, I see what the fuck going on around here?
And it's like that song what the helly?

Speaker 2 (50:38):
What helly?

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Like, what is going on right? I don't? I am scared.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
There's just so many things that just go unaddressed and
it's like can we can we address them and still
have a relationship, Like can we address them and still
be parents? I understand what's going on. I'm in a
book club. It's called Mothers and Daughters of the Bible,
and my mom are in it. It was like plent
to get her to join it, but she joined it.

(51:03):
And it's Moms and Daughters and we read this book
were there's this book we're reading. It's called Mothers and
Daughters of the Bible and you each each month we
tackle a different mother daughter duo. Now I am yeah,
I know I was. I got saved. I am still
very much like spicy, like it's no, I'm going to
ask a question if I have a question, if something
don't make sense, I don't care who said it. I'm
asking the question. Jesus and I got questions. And so

(51:26):
we had got to a part in with two of
the characters we were focusing on was the mother in
law and the daughters. Her daughters in laws followed her right, Okay, sorry, okay,
I know that I'm right.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
I was sleep at church a lot of times and
eating church.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Can I'm it's okay, It's okay, I got it. I'm
getting it out Naomi or Naomi and her daughter. And
we were focusing on the on this the daughter in
laws in Naomi, Naomi and Ruth to be exact, Okay,
Ruth left her whole family to go follow Naomi after
her husband because.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Both of her sons died.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
And so we're in here and we discuss what's going on.
I'm not discussing anything with fluff. We need to talk
about some truth. So everybody was like, yeat, everybody has
spiritual mothers and and I was like, I've looked at
this a totally different way. And I was scared to
say my opinion because this is the holy crowd. And
so I was like, Everyone's like, well, how did you
look at them? And I was like, well, I looked

(52:23):
at them, like how much of a great person Naomi
must have been for her daughter in laws to want
to leave their living family to come follow her in life.
And when I look at a lot of situations, whether
it's your son has a baby mama, he has a girlfriend,
or he has a wife, the in law situation be
real dramatic. It be real dramatic. And Naomi must have
had a lot of patience and she must have been

(52:45):
very understanding for her the women who weren't her blood
related daughters to want to come and live life with her.
And so it makes me look at mother in laws
and be like, what is y'all doing to curate good
environments for your new family that has now come into
your life? And everybody was like and then the daughters
will with their mom's like, well you do be treating
you know, Brandon's girlfriend back, And then well, I don't
got nothing do me. Nobody does, because what are you

(53:07):
curating for people? Somebody is coming into your family and
they're new. Your rules do not stay here anymore, not
all of them. They're welcome, but you don't get to
just come through and boguard sheit excuse me, sorry, that
really makes me mad, just like in anything like bro
be understanding. If somebody's a new mommy, you try to
tell her how she's not mommy right? Whats happened to
you one day in your life?

Speaker 1 (53:28):
That is ripe. I hear from pretty much every mother
and it has got to be frustrating.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
I can I know.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
I get frustrated when they tell me what to do
with my damn spice cabinet, not what they tell you
to do well. First of all, my mama's bland food
loving ass is always something about I got too many spices,
but you don't worry about all the flavors I got.
It's thirty one flavors of this booty delicious bubble gup
in my cablicious bubble gup, raspberry, grape cherry, Come and

(53:57):
get this honey fuck yump mey yump baby ordinary change.
But anyway, anyway, I have lots of spices. They are overflowing.
But I'm like different flavors. I enjoyed. That is my thing.
I don't come to your house until you got too
many perfumes and body splashes mm emphasis on splashes. I
don't tell you it's too many pillows on every piece

(54:20):
of furniture. We got a room to sit our big
asses down. I don't do that, so she will say that.
I was on FaceTime with my grandma one day and
I was cooking, and she was like, what, you got
your stuff over there? And I was like, hold it,
hold it, hold it, hold it. First of all, I
don't have my spices over there. I have my spices
where you think I should have my spices. I moved

(54:41):
these spices over here because I was working over here,
and I have my phone on a tripod because I
don't want to touch my phone because I'm in the
kitchen and I'm cooking. I have everything set up. You
don't worry about it. And you're like, you worried about this.
I'm worried about the roll. This is my kitchen. You
got something on the rent and then that'll shut it

(55:02):
down right there?

Speaker 2 (55:03):
What you got it shut it down? And with the women,
I know that's still my sister and my sister, she
would kind of let me be, but like I think,
I don't know if it's a woman thing, but maybe
it is. My mom will do this thing like her
and my sister do this and it's not in me.
They wake up every morning and they start cleaning like slaves.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
It is absolutely Juma does that shit too early in
the morning. They just shut everybody's sweeping, They're closing it,
clanking pots. Why does it smell like bleach at five am?
And so my mom when she comes to my space,
she's like, and this is I'm not doing it. I'm
not waking up cleaning like a slave.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
I'm not. I'm tired and I'm okay with the cover
on the couch.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
I'm okay with all of this is my house. If
you don't like it, get just stepping and it's okay.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
If it looks like that, they get up and they clean.
My sister laughs, She's like, okay, I'm fine. I mean,
vacuum me if it doesn't. If Florida doesn't have vacuum
marks in it, they don't think the house is clean.
What happened to y'all? And I'll be damned that's my
mom in monstage. But if if a man's mother came
into my life and was like, why don't you have vacuum? Man,
you got to get pushed in your chin, And I'm like,

(56:15):
don't come in here with life stresses already and tell
me how to clean.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Because like that, what we can do is we can
take it to hell and we can pay play tip
for tad. I've been listening to this man run down
on all the shit that you ever did that was
fucked up. Do you want to hear my opinion about
your shortcomings? Because we can go there and then it's
gonna be World War three in this bitch, and ain't
nobody happy?

Speaker 2 (56:39):
And now we're getting divorced and the baby is fatherless.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Well it's probably gonna be motherless. You and your mama
can raise the baby. Since y'all want to know every
fucking thing. Shit, you got your degree, you got your degree?

Speaker 2 (56:53):
No, yeah, but it really made me think, like, Okay,
if I do get blessed with a please, I can't
hear me, you know, even desires? Okay, I do wonder
like should they should there be a pre conversation? Absolutely no,

(57:18):
me and man we need to have a conversation.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
But before she jumps in.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
We have a conversation. But then I also do want
the mother to know I am not your enemy. I
am supposed to be. You take on a daughter.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Let's be like Naomi and.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
When this can happen if you have patience and understanding
and I do too, there is room for both of us. Friends.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Really, I ain't want your little friends. But I think,
okay that part, I get what you're saying. I think
it would depend on what that woman's personality is. Do
me and him talk. Do we think that she would
be reception to this? Is it better if we all
talk or will she feel ambush? Because I care about

(58:04):
the results of the conversation. Is it better for you
to talk to her? Is there somebody? Do you have
a sister? How your sister feel about I mean, what's
going on?

Speaker 2 (58:14):
You handle that before I step in? Yeah, that's your family,
just like if it's my family, I'm gonna handle everything
first and then we trickle it down just so again
there's that respect there, because it's just like when when
Marlon Wayne's posted, I was like, how weird? How much
more weirder would this be if a daughter was like
I never got married because I didn't want my dad
to feel beneath any man. That's weird.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
But I think they doing this, That's what I would think, Like, girl,
why you're so I love your daddy? Something ain't right here?

Speaker 2 (58:44):
And his mom is married, and I just wonder does
she look at that like sun take that down?

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Is his mom married to his dad or to someone else?
I don't where his daddy at. I wonder because I
wonder what his dad thinks about it, and what his
baby mama or mama's thinking about it, and what y'all
he got any eleven siblings? What they think? What do
they think? And what are your kids like?

Speaker 2 (59:02):
You're not producing care you can go out here and
perform well as far as being partners, partners in anything,
if that matter. Like, I just I really thought he's.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Where is even Shawn At? I ain't seen Shawn At
none of the Waynes stuff. They haven't been getting honored
and everything. Where is he at? I don't know the
one that did the show him? And why is he
all right?

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Has anybody do we need to do a welfare check?
Has anybody checked on Sean Wayne's That's a good question.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
I haven't seen him. Hmm. I is suspicious.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
I got questions, And I just know that if mothers,
if you're out here acting like that with with your sons,
you are doing them a disservice. You don't want your sign.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
To find love. So I saw you put something on
the notes about and you mentioned it something about you
feel like there's a hierarchy in relationships, and I think
you included like outside of the mother and the child,
like siblings and friends. What do you think the hierarchy
should be or like for.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
You when marriage comes into play. Yes, I think the
hierarchy is as hard as this might even be to do.
And I'm not saying that you don't take advice or
ask other people for their opinions, But.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Who all is involved in this hierarchy? Tell me that
first in your house?

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Okay, if we're just talking about the household, no, no, no,
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
And when you're about to say like, okay, your mother
or y'all's parents, your siblings, your close friends, your partner,
your kids, like, who are you including in the hierarchy?

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Well, for real, for me and my husband, it's nobody else.
There is nobody else as far as like decision making,
and that's what I'm talking about. So it's like not
to say that you won't ask for advice. Let's say
you're let's say you're buying a home.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
So then it's not a hierarchy. It's like it's me
and my man and that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
But I guess I don't really know what to call it.
It still would be a hierarchy because you might be like,
let's get some advice from people that have been through this.
But what I'm saying is your mom doesn't come in
and be like, this is the house I think you
should get, and then you're like, my mom said we
should get this house with that's what we're getting. Absolutely not.
My mom said this is how we should raise a kid,
So this is what we're doing. No, that's not how

(01:01:11):
this is going to go. Like as far as the
decision make, we can get advice all day week because
we're human. You're gonna call my friend and be like, hey.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Let's say it's like this versus her coming in and
trying to make a decision so that we can stay
on track with the hierarchy. If you and your husband
cannot agree for whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Who's the first person I'm asking?

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Who is? Who's if you ask your sister, your brother,
your best friend, and your mother or y'all's parents, whose
opinion matters the most.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
It depends on the topic. If it's health, my dad
and correctly after him, my brother, if somebody's sick or
there's some sort of illness is going on, the first
one that I'm running with, Like it's like my dad
said this, and it's it's Bible. I'm gonna speak like
that about my dad and anything health related. Okay, if
it's something life, it's gonna be between my sister and

(01:02:01):
my mom.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Life like what like relationship like no, like moving through life,
decision like raising children?

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
What they what's good for them behavioral things. If it's
not we're not talking to a doctor, if we're just
like what have you been through this? Or like I'm
gonna naturally go to my mom because I trust her opinion,
and she actually is like, in my eyes, she has
represented what a outstanding mother has been. It's not like,

(01:02:31):
you know, some people be like, oh never mind. I
feel like people's feelings will get hair. But there's you know,
there's just some situations where it's like the people you
gonna love your parents regardless, but then there's the love
your parents regardless. But maybe they were.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Not a great parent.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
Maybe they weren't they are, but you still gonna love them.
But they left you and you try and find my
ancestry dot com and you find them and now you're
like they're the greatest parent of all and it's like
or you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
Like I never should have paid for that damn subscription.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
I want to refund right, or they tell you they
wish they never had you. There were moments like that,
Like I never had moments like that with my mom
where she was like, I'm not gonna stop drinking when
I'm pregnant. There are people that are smoking and drinking.
I saw this lady at the zoo.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
She was pregnant, smoking like a smoking it was a vape.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
Well, I don't know if it was weeding it or cigarettes.
But you don't need to be doing that. And I
don't care if you get offended. If you listening to
this show and smoking pregnant, you need to stop. Give
that baby a fighting chance. Anyways, So if there was
anything like life related, I would go to my mom. However,
I would not let my mom disrespect the man of
my household. H I just I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
He needs to tell you, yeah, or I'm like no,
I'm saying when it comes to like she wants to
tell you something, don't come and tell my husband this
is what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
You talk to me and then we'll figure this out.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
Me and my husband will figure Me and my husband
will figure this out.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Thank you for your services, Yeah, thank you for your services,
and the same for him. Don't be going off on
my mama now. If it's something that's just entirely disrespectful,
that's when they but it needs to be handled delicately.
This is your mother. I'm not going to do that
to you. I had a situation like that with an
ex and his mom did something it was very rude
to me and in your face, in my face, okay,

(01:04:10):
and it was very rude. But I think women, when
you are faced with something like that, you have the
opportunity to sit back and observe, because I think those
are signs that you can see if someone is going
to always pick their mother over you. And and and
it's true, he didn't. He checked it immediately, and I
was it was I was like, and he didn't do
it disrespectfully. He was like, do not talk to her

(01:04:31):
like that ever again.

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Yeah, like to let something like that slide is wild. Yeah,
I'd be having to give warnings about my family. My
mama would naught like that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
My mom.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
I actually think my family would be too nice. And
I'd be like, don't think that means something? Checking with
me by how I feel. Yeah, my dad is.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
He's too nice.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Yeah, other people, you know, I'd be like, okay, look,
I'm when I have a conversation with him, because I
don't want to be disre respectful to anyone. Because I
don't think, at least with my family, that I would
even bother to have conversations with other people. I won't
say they don't matter, but I want a good result
out of it, So I'm gonna have to talk to

(01:05:15):
them separately and calmly in a different environment probably than
whatever happened, but I will give a warning, like, please
don't take this person's actions personal. I can talk about
it and I can check them, but like, I just
got to give warnings about some people, and I wish
I could just like no throw out to lead them.
And that's frustrating because it's also like, why do people

(01:05:37):
choose to show up like that in family situations, especially
when it's like nobody did anything to you, nobody, there
is no like actual issue. You just decided you were
gonna be a fucking bitch today, and like why what
happened to you or what didn't happen to you? But
whatever it is, it has nothing to do with a

(01:05:59):
person that you're projecting your feelings on, and so like
what's going on? I don't like that, and it's frustrated.
I have dealt with that, and I'm just like, you know,
it's some people. I'm just gonna have to add you
to the praier list because you're obviously stick in the
fucking head and something's wrong with you and you might
need to get medicated. Yeah, and not with alcohol, with

(01:06:19):
an actual prescription drug.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Something. With the women, I feel like women always do this.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Yeah, the women are definitely more difficult. I will say
my dad is not very nice, but I'm like, don't
even worry about him, because well, y'all know the stories.
I won't rehashit today. But my actual dad, it's just like,
we ain't even gonna worry about it. He don't know. Yeah,
then like, uh, he's crazy. But I do think it's weird.
With the women, I like that I don't know. And
the mother is like, I've even had a talk with

(01:06:47):
my mother, thank you a little too much when it
comes to my brother.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
Now, that be a conversation when you talk to your
own mama about your own brother.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Yeah, because I I've seen it like lots of different ways.
And sometimes I feel like the sisters will be ganggang
with the mama and feel like it's almost like nobody's
good enough. Nothing that the boy chooses is right, and
it's like you're trying to micromanage them. And I am
so glad that me and my sisters are all on
the same accord and won't tell my mom and call
her out when she's doing too much. And she is receptive,

(01:07:21):
like I don't think she always realizes, and sometimes she's like,
that's my baby boy. Okay, we now, but he ain't
a babe me no more. We gotta let him grow
up because you want to take care of somebody forever,
because that's what will happen. You're raising a maandchild. So
what you want, no, let him go. She was even
hit me up this weekend, trying to give me. This
had nothing to do with relationships, but she was telling
me like to do certain things for him. I said, okay,

(01:07:43):
but I didn't do it. I just said it to
shut her up. She don't have way be listening to
me anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
I don't want not now one son, not one. I've
said this from.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
I didn't even want a boyfucking dog. I didn't care
what nobody told I.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
Just I too like boy dogs. I don't want another girl.
Why not? There's just too difficult shy. It took a
long time to get shy, like just to be a
normal fucking dog. And she's still not even a normal dog.
She doesn't like the grass. She screams when she sees
the dog. She's so emotional all all the time. She
it's just a lot. The period thing was a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
Oh yeah, Like Wally is just a horny girl. And
I'd be like, girl, you can't back it up every
time you see a pit bull. I get it, sister,
we see each other because I feel like there's an
equivalent to a pit bull to a man, you know
what I mean, Like how Mufossa was a handsome line right,
and then Simba grew up to be handsome too, But
it was just like Mufossa was. You know how some

(01:08:37):
of the animals being the movies, I feel like them
strong pit bulls where it's just like you've been pumping
iron like you and I'm like, oh no, baby, girl,
I gotta pick you up because we might be on
an elevator together. That girl has been backing that ass
up like juvenile was on.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Are you gonna get her fixed?

Speaker 1 (01:08:59):
I am. I just haven't gotten around you because I
really need to be. I want you to be there
for the two weeks because she will take them stitches
out and all I need is to come home and her,
damn well, hers will be gone. Some of her enterns
are just laying around us. I don't know, some might
be all off. I don't want that happened, and I
do baby her. And then I've also noticed this. She'd

(01:09:20):
be real flirtatious with the men, and I'm like, you'll
take such a thirsty bitch like girl, relax, you horny girl,
you horny girl. We saw a puppy pit bull at
Fox Brothers. I was at Fox Brothers again this week
and run it because my brother was like, oh, okay,
we go to that barbecue place that we had before. Hey,

(01:09:42):
uh did you go to Can we go to that
barbecue place? And I was like absolutely, I was thinking
about it. I have some crawfish, but I was like,
I can eat this. I'm gonna get a two for today,
all of my face. Anyway, little fresh pit bull, what
color do they call Do they call them blue when
they're like that grayish color? Yes? Yes, I mean it
was a cute one. But and I'm like, this is
a baby. He ain't got his muscles yet. They gonna

(01:10:03):
get there. He's probably a few months because you know
how they be little, I mean big when they're little. Anyway,
she tried to break away from the table and get
over there. I said, you are a horning girl. I've
got to get this under control. You've got to get
fixed because I'm too young to be a grandmother already.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
The whole opposite. Shy has all She hates every dog, really,
every single one. I don't know what happened to her.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
She's from Chicago, so that's some might have happened for
you got her, you know, definitely, this was this.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
Was a good discussion.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
It was do y'all have mama's and are you raising
a mama's boy? Because we got a lot of mamas,
We got a lot of momas here. Maybe you should
check yourself and see, like you might think that you're
being loving and guiding, but ask yourself and am doing
am I being controlling?

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Am I doing him a disservice? And I think you
can still be a mama's boy, And it's in a
healthy way.

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
What's healthy about a mama's boy?

Speaker 2 (01:10:58):
You can still you know, love your mama like we're
gonna honor my mom too. It like she I want
her to be a part of all the things and stuff.
But there's just a way you gotta go about it.
You gotta make sure that you let your mom, know
who is the head bitch in charge?

Speaker 1 (01:11:13):
Who is the A to B I C? And it
better be me? Yeah, I mean or or for me?

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
I think for some women that can work, and they're
normally the type of women who've never left their hometown.
And that's just how this goes. I can't do that,
like we have to. I am a loving person, but
we have to share this platform. This, ma'am, this is not.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
I'm not sharing no platform. You just need to get
in line. You can come or you can get left
off the envine. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
I thought I told your mom you can't do that.
You can't do that, but she can do what she
wants to do.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
No, because that would only happen if you is being
disrespectful and cutting up. But you cut up, get cut off?
How about that?

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
I know?

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
Husband, though.

Speaker 2 (01:11:54):
We were sitting here playing it's like playing SIMS.

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
Wait to play when I get Oh, I just love
the SIMS. I've been trying to play for three weeks.
You should do you have a desktop computer that I do?

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:12:10):
Yeah, get the SIMS girl. It's just fun. Yeah, okay,
not to buy it, but it's not like you. It's
not a subscription. Oh Okay, you just pay right now,
you can really get like the Bass game for like
tim Bucks, what.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
Are we doing and you just running around opening doors.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
You create a whole life. You can have a family,
you canna have kids. You can get a job, you
can not get a job. You do all sorts of things.
I really want to PC desktop, like a true gaming desktop,
because I was like, you know what, instead of all
these crazy ideas that I have that never turn into anything,
maybe I should just play the sims and make the

(01:12:49):
sims be the stories that like I ramble on about
and like play that. I can put it on YouTube
because people got like little YouTube soap operas basically and
dramas and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
Meet your sam. No, okay, it's not.

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
Like it doesn't work like that. Okay, they tried that,
but it was it was making it too hard. But
you could show pictures, you can share stuff. It's a
fun game. It's a great stress reliever. Anyway, I guess
that's it for today. We will move on. There's time

(01:13:48):
for advice. If you would like some advice from two
girls who are just trying to figure it out. I'm
just a girl. Email us ask cocktail. No advice at
cocktailspod dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
Okay, this one is titled eight months in and just
learned he has a nine year old?

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
Okay, what the fuck? What the helly? That's my new
favorite thing. What the helly?

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
Oh Jesus, Okay, ladies, I love you and all that jazz,
but I need to get right into it. After being
single a little over a year, I met this beautiful
man on tender and surprisingly we hit it off and
have been together since our first date eight months ago.
He was honest with me. Then he was on tender
looking for fun and didn't anticipate meeting someone that he

(01:14:34):
could build a relationship with. Wait a minute, he was honest.
Let me Did I read it right? He was honest
with me, but the title of it was I just
found Okay, he was honest with me. Then he was
on tender looking for fun and didn't anticipate meeting someone
that he could build a relationship with.

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
I guess that's the honest part, that he didn't want
a relationship, but he kept the child hidden, so he
wasn't honest.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
No, he was only honest about the one thing is
when I say, yeah, all right, admittedly I didn't either,
and yet here we are falling for each other.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Are you sure.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
He lives about thirty minutes away from me in New Jersey?
I'm in New York and always comes to my place
or date night near me. When I asked why I
couldn't go to his place, he said he was clearing
up a situation with an ex mm. I read that
to mean they were still involved or at least lived together,
and proceeded with caution, don't proceed stop us. Read fast

(01:15:37):
forward a few months and I told him what I
really liked about him was his honesty. So he decided
it was time to tell me the truth and admitted
to having a daughter from a previous relationship. We have
had our own pregnancy scares and have talked about children,
and this man never said he had a child. We
asked each other explicitly about that during our first day

(01:16:00):
and proceeded and proceeded believing we were both never married
and had no children. The daughter lives in another state
and was seeing his daughter regularly up until around the
time we met, and her mom moved even further away.
I guess my question is do we continue on this
path of growing and love and trying to build a future,
or do I cut my losses and get back on

(01:16:20):
the apps. If it helps. I'm forty five and he's
forty one. Signed Happily ever after or naw, please keep
me anonymous. PS. If we keep this going, I'll have
a cocktail for you too. Lol. Ain't nothing to laugh
out loud about. It ain't one thing to laugh out

(01:16:41):
loud about. The answer is or no, this is sometimes,
and this is clearly something that has to keep being
I'm trying to read it has to keep being reiterated
because I truly maybe we're eating too much protein. Maybe
there's something in the in the food that we're eating

(01:17:02):
that is making us like this. Because I don't like
when people highlight one good quality about somebody and you
take it and you pizza roll it around the whole person.
This is not an honest person, and you took one
good thing and you made it the whole person.

Speaker 1 (01:17:21):
And we have layers we do.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
I can't even answer this for you because to me,
it comes down to what do you want? Friend? What
do you want? I know what I want, so I'm
I'm answering this based off of what I would want.
I don't think I can handle someone who lied about
a nine amnos year old child. The child is not

(01:17:46):
yos years the.

Speaker 1 (01:17:48):
Child's is here.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
The child is nig like, that's not that's a nine
year old human child. Like you have to think about
you're forty one, you have you're forty five, and he's
forty one. And so if no one, if you've shared
this story with your friends, and if no one has

(01:18:11):
said this to you, and I'm saying this as gently
and as clearly as I can gently, if this is
the life that you want, which is being with someone
who if they can lie to you about a nine
year old child, imagine what else there is to explore
in him. This for again, I'm basing this off of

(01:18:33):
my experiences. I do not want a family and a
child so badly that I will I will go to this.
I won't even call it settle because maybe to this
for you, this isn't settling. I don't know you, but
this ain't it. The child is nine years old and

(01:18:55):
he always comes to you. This is why we end
up in situations where you're killing someone and now there's
a story. I didn't think that's where otagen this is?

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
This isn't I that would you feel if you were
a nine year old mama Sita's mama, and this is
a situation and you find out why. You just trying
to relax, listen to cocktails, and you hear a story
that sounds all too familiar, and you hear that your
baby daddy been running around town after being on tender.

Speaker 2 (01:19:33):
Lying again, this ain't the first time he did this.

Speaker 1 (01:19:36):
And denying your child. Would you also, I'm I wasn't
gonna say it, but I am. How many people were
in your classes growing up? I'm just wondering because the
reasoning skills don't seem to be there. This doesn't make sense.
You had a pregnancy scare. By the grace of God,
you good right? You don't want to have I wouldn't

(01:19:59):
want to have a child with someone who would be
okay for whatever reason, because I don't think there's ever
an excuse for this. Wouldn't tell me about a child.
We're talking about children. We're talking about never being married.
You don't have children, and he's telling you he's never
had children, or even if he alluded to it, it's
just like, you have a nine year old. Did you

(01:20:19):
just find out about the child? Is this a new development?
Like what's see this is a new development, and you
forgot or what's going on? And why? And why do
you leastime Sam time? Where does the baby live? One
of them is in New York, one of them is
in New Jersey.

Speaker 2 (01:20:38):
That but that's why I say, like, ma'am, you have
to really think about the type of not just that
you want a family and you want a baby and
you want a husband. You have to think about the
type of life that you want. And I'm here with you,
I really am, because I one time exited a relationship
because I watched someone that I kind of loved him,
but I watched how he handled his family life. He

(01:21:02):
had two kids, and I watched how he put me
before his children. And there are women that would honor
that and be like, this is how it should be
as someone who really values family. I cannot respect that
you decided to bring children into this world and you
were not taking care of them the way that I
see fit that I know, what type of life do

(01:21:24):
you want for yourself? If you want it to be
with someone who lies about having a child, go all in,
dive in. If you want somebody to honor you and
your child that you might give them.

Speaker 1 (01:21:38):
This ain't it. Are you trying to live like you're
on an episode of Good Times? Or do you want
to live like you on an episode of the Jefferson?
Are we gonna live in the d luxe apartment? Are
we gonna have a good life, a great life? Or
are we gonna be dealing with people putting irons on
a I mean, it's just all this just all a mess.

Speaker 2 (01:21:55):
And if you just want a baby, go do the
thing that you can do the the injection what's it called.

Speaker 1 (01:22:01):
Where you can have a baby artificial insemination? Go do
that down at the lab.

Speaker 2 (01:22:06):
Because you're gonna still be by yourself. Like, if you
do this with him, bro, it ain't.

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
Gonna be back on tender getting another way, and he
ain't gonna be making you nothing but promises and more siblings.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
For your child. You have to look at people's behaviors.

Speaker 1 (01:22:21):
Well he's on the internet talk about his damn lad.

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
You're to look at people's behaviors. I'm not saying they
can't change them, but you also have to look at
our people doing the work to change them.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
Girl, give it up. You said it should I some
something some or not. It's just orna heart. Stop leave
it alone. For real. Sorry to go it on you,
but girl, stop you. You was just going through something.
Maybe it was period time. We all make irrational decisions
at some time. But like, you don't want that because
it sounds like you do want children one day and

(01:22:52):
other things. Leave that shit alone. It's time to move
on for cocktails because this advice is just too much
and you don't make no cocktails to you make different
decisions with.

Speaker 2 (01:23:02):
The gonna be a cocktail, the hell is not. You
need to be a revelation. Okay, uh huh, but I come.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
Is it some catch in the.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
Once upon a time not long ago?

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
I was a Now it's time for the cocktails. If
you have a cocktail that you would like to send
in with somebody who is not denying their children, please
email us cocktails at cocktails pot dot com. Okay, so
this one says a surprise golden shower miss those I

(01:23:53):
do not care for that. I was actually I did
get on the internet for a minute. I saw I
was going on with Diddy and them, you know, the
trial started, and I saw what was going on with them,
Golden showers all.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
Day and the baby the baby oil baby shower, the
baby oil dips in the tub.

Speaker 1 (01:24:09):
And the pool, the bulls in the road.

Speaker 2 (01:24:11):
I want to know what it was. I'm not if
I don't want to walk in the baby bottom pool.
I'm not walking in the baby oil pool.

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
Let me not get started on this because I got
a lot of feelings about that. Okay. Anyway, back to
this girl and in her golden shower. I hope this
is an ending in sadness, and I hope you like it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:30):
Lord.

Speaker 1 (01:24:31):
Okay, hey, beautiful, so I want you to try to
keep this short. You did not, but that's all right,
Like it's the whole baby, it's not short, but that's
all right. You was probably having a wonderful time.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:24:42):
So one night I went to an R and B
party with my homegirls, and my little situationship was there
with his hound boys.

Speaker 2 (01:24:47):
I went to an R and B party a few
weeks ago. I thought I could handle a bitch. I
was in there crying. Sorry, that's the R and B
R and B party.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
When they played, it was a lot of R and B.
Oh all right, Well, anyway, I was surprised to see
his fine ass. Was still very excited. I planned on
trying to see him after, but I wasn't really sure
if that was going to happen. He came up to
me and my homegirls and we all started chatting it up,
and he started feeling on my booty. I started singing

(01:25:16):
song that's not appropriate, and I already knew where the
night was going. We were both lit, so a time
was about to be had. Let's fast forward to the
after party. He meets me at my hotel room at
about one in the morning. We take some shots and
we get to it. I start to suck his dick
and he tells me to get on top. Ooh, I
can't do that like I used to. Y'all. My hip

(01:25:37):
be cracking. So anyway, so I do we sew into it?
He asking me do I miss him, telling me he
loves me, saying this his pussy and he is going
to nutt in it. Ooh, y'all got to be careful.

Speaker 3 (01:25:52):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
I'm not on birth control, but I'm very much like yolooo,
you be careful, girl, be careful. So I'm like, yeah, daddy, nothing, yo,
pussy people be doing this. I did it before. That
was not a good decision, your horrible decision.

Speaker 2 (01:26:05):
Do not.

Speaker 1 (01:26:07):
Anyway, we changed into different positions and he's still talking
his shit. He was very vocal this night, and I
loved every bit of it. He even asked me if
I was keeping the baby and what we were naming it. Ooh.
He putting a spell on you, girl, y'all. I'm so delusional.
I told him, of course, and it was going to
be a junior. It felt like we was making love. Anyways.

(01:26:28):
We had sex for at least two hours, and we
kept taking very small breaks, like a few minutes. He
was turning me every which way but loose, being very
demanding about what he wanted and how I obeyed every command.

Speaker 2 (01:26:41):
I was in heaven.

Speaker 1 (01:26:43):
I knew we were both drunk, but he was more
drunk than I understood. In that moment. The man wouldn't nut,
which has never been a problem for him before, and
every time we stopped, he was like nah and wanted
to go again. He wanted that nut, and I wanted
him to have it on my knees, to suck his
stick again. And he is finally telling me he's about

(01:27:03):
to nut, so I do not stop. I wondered it
in my mouth. I was going to swallow it. Ooh, girl,
y'all was having a blast next thing you know, he
starts doing a sound like he's coming, So I continue
to suck and swallow, but then I realized someone wasn't right.
Oh shit, I see where this is going. So I
stopped swallowing and my mouth started feeling up with a liquid.

(01:27:29):
I popped his dick out so fast, and the next
thing you know, he's peeing on my fucking titties. I
added the fucking but he don't realize he's doing it.
I'm also in shock, so in the midst of it all,
I swallowed the pee the gut in my mouth and
shortly realized what the fuck I just did. When he
saw me wet, he was confused and I didn't say much.
He did not realize he peed instead of nutted, and

(01:27:51):
I was speechless.

Speaker 2 (01:27:53):
Is that I didn't know he was drunk.

Speaker 1 (01:27:56):
He was really, really drunk, and she they didn't realize it.
So anyway, he then goes to pee in the bathroom
and I get in the shower. Luckily, his pea was
clear and didn't smell. Well, bitch, was he drunk or high? Anyways?
You would think I would have ended the night, but no,
you are a nasty girl. Somehow someway after I got
off the shower. One thing led to another, and my
toes are in his mouth and he starts to eat

(01:28:18):
my pussy, your toes her in his mouth. A yeah, pussy, bitchy, flexible, Okay.
I turn around for backshots and he finally nutted and
it was in me. He passes out sleep immediately and
he is hanging off the bed. I kind of drag
him into a better position and I joined him with sleep.
The next morning he left and went to work. He
had no recollection of the night. He blacked out after

(01:28:40):
we took them shots. He doesn't remember peeing on me,
nothing in me and sex after like the first ten minutes,
other than the pea A time was really had. The
night goes into the books. He apologized and still does
when it comes back up. But I just laugh at
it for now. Truly a moment I'll never forget. Sorry
for the long email. I hope y'all enjoyed this embarrassing story.

(01:29:03):
Left my ass off. PS, we also will that got
cut off. That was a good one. That's a story.
I'm glad you had good spears because I would.

Speaker 2 (01:29:09):
She's pregnant, now, that's what I was thinking to your
baby shower. That's absolutely you're.

Speaker 1 (01:29:17):
Having a cocktail baby. What's you gonna name her? A
short night?

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
Speaking of cocktail babies, did I tell you that there
was a girl she's slid in my d MS. She
invited me to her wedding and she had sent in
a cock tell before she invited her wedding. And I
really was going to try to make it, but I couldn't.
Maybe I couldn't make it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:35):
But I was like, you know what if you congratulate congratulations.

Speaker 2 (01:29:39):
I can't remember her name, but I was. I just
felt so honor. I was like, oh my gosh, I
would absolutely come, Kiky, and I would come if y'all
have baby showers, if you have weddings and it is
inspired somehow you had a cocktail, you got pregnant, and
you have a baby shower, and we can make it,
I will come. Especially, Yeah, there needs to be food
and I need a little cocktail.

Speaker 1 (01:29:56):
And I don't eat as much as I used to
because of life our eggs. She don't want to little taste. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
I mean, if you really just want us to come,
just get the delta flight. Get us a delta flight.

Speaker 1 (01:30:06):
All right. Now we're getting carried away anyway, you guys,
I hope that you enjoyed this episode. We will be
doing a Patreon live at the end of the Mind
with Good Minds by Choices.

Speaker 2 (01:30:17):
Yes, I can't wait to catch up with them.

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
Yes, so I think that is the last Thursday of
this month, like the twenty nine something like that. Check
the description box for the links to everything. Make sure
you sign up for all the things, join the book club,
take the trips, do all that fun stuff, and keep
tuning in every week. We appreciate you, guys, and I
hope you'll have a wonderful week. Make sure you're also
following us on Instagram. We're at Cocktails Podcast. I'm at

(01:30:42):
Kiki said, so I'm a coffee And until next week,
you guys, Goodbye, goodbye.

Speaker 2 (01:30:49):
Bye bye, b bye bye, goodbye bye bye to drive
bye bye bye

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 445 "Mothers, Sons & the Boundaries You Refuse to Set"

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.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

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Ep. 445 "Mothers, Sons & the Boundaries You Refuse to Set"

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal