Libra Season! Friendships, Rituals & Red Flags

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How do you feel when you find yourself growing apart
from friends because of changes, whether it's them changing or
you changing. Y'all, be careful when you're having sexy time.
When you have pets, put them away, lock them away,
or give them some of that sleepy time medicine. Also,
be careful when you're putting sugary things on your body.
Do you have any like rituals or like traditions that

(00:22):
you have just with yourself, like little things you always
do for my birthday.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I love a good birthday massage. Just call and see
how you're doing.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I always feel like when you do that swing that
you're talking about, it's because you're trying to swing control
to me and you want me to take over the conversation,
ask the questions and answer the questions that I thought
she was going to ask when I tried to swing
it back to you and you didn't, so I just
answered myself, that's exhausting.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
When people have kids and they grow apart, and it's
like everyone's always worried about the person with the kids,
like don't leave me out, and they don't really think
about like your single friends who don't have the things,
and maybe they do one of the things.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
And not on hating on anybody and anything.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
But it's just like sometimes you do kind of get
in your feelings, but it's not necessarily that we grow apart.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
There's just a certain amount of grace and space. Yeah,
you're a check one two, check one two. Is this
Mike On? Is this Mike On?

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Listen, man, it's the one and only Trunks that the
DJ sis and you're listening to Cocktails Dirty Discussions with
Kikia Medina Monroe.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
Here.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Today's cocktail is called Ooh, the Libra Lemon Drop. The
ingredients you need to make a Libra Lemon drop one
and a half pounds of vodka, a half ounce of
triple sec, one ounce of fresh lemon juice, a half
ounce of simple syrup, and you're gonna do a sugar
rim plus edible glitter for that Libra sparkle garnish with
a lemon twist. And here's how you're gonna make it.

(01:51):
You're gonna shake the vodka, the triple sec, the lemon
and the syrup with ice strain it into a sugar
rimmed martini glass and garnish with a lemon twist. And
that is a Libra Lemon drop.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
We must be approaching Libra season or we're in it. Yeah,
one of them.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
I don't know, but yes, and now your it's your season, Libras.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
The libras are gonna be out here being beautiful, talking
a lot, be careful, and you be careful, especially with
those Libramen.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Are the signs so different between the men and the women?
They're so different?

Speaker 1 (02:29):
I wonder that too, there was a Libraman. And while
I know a lot of times like you'll talk about
like being you're like, oh, I'm so indecisive.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I'm a Libra.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm fine with a lot of the Libramen. It's not
about being indecisive. They are more like angry and just okay,
really happy, but like the moods are the one and
it's just like, goddamnse you go, what's going on?

Speaker 3 (02:54):
I don't know, it's very interesting, but Libra season, I'm
just so excited.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, welcome back to god Tail certa discussions.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
You guys think he said so and I am Adeina Monroe.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
So do you find that you have a lot of
We're gonna do announcements in a second, but it just
came to me, do you have a lot of friends
who are Libras or people in your life family. No,
you have a lot of virgo.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
It's a lot of virgos Leo's and that is that's
a lot. I don't. I'm I think I'm the only Labra.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
I mean, like some people are married to libra's, but
I don't count them because I don't like them. So
it's not your friend. Yeah, but I don't have like
a forgive. There's a there is a shout out to Camille.
She's an October Libra. She's actually a listener turned friend.
She comes on the Paradise and Vibra treats and she
is just a boss bitch.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
I love Camille.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
She's an older woman, lives in La She's a Libra
and we've recently just been getting closer. But she's a
October liber and October Libra and September Livers.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
They're very different. They're very different.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
But I love We all love beauty and like beautiful
things and so and are very like social when you
want to be social, because then also when you don't
want to be social, you'd be like, is she mad?

Speaker 2 (04:15):
No, I just don't want to talk no more because
we talk so much. I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yeah, but I don't have I don't have a lot
of Libra friends. There was Mandy, but uh, October Libra.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
That was it.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, most of my Libra friends are October Libers. I
don't know if I have another September liber in my
life besides you, I don't know. I find that there's
a lot of Earth sogns, so I'm a virgo. I
have a lot of friends who are Earth signs, so
the Capricorns to.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Tourists and the Virgos.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I think that those people A lot of times, it's
kind of easy, like when sharing some feelings where other
people don't get it. Sometimes we kind of all get
it in some of our maybe not so great ways,
but we can relate. But sometimes I'm wondering, like the
people that we attract. Sometimes I try to find like
what's the common thing. And I've been having a few

(05:06):
conversations about astrology with a few people lately, and yeah,
it's just something cross my mind. I always wonder anyway,
announcements that's going.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
On, you guys, there are own there's one spot left
for the lover girl layover.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Ooh, that's exciting.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's exciting and I'm I'm playing with the idea of
doing a giveaway. This would be me sponsoring someone to
go on the trip for free. But we're still trying
to work that out to see what that looks like
because there are just like some logistic parts where it's like, oh,
what if they don't come. So I'm still trying to
figure out if I can do that because then if

(05:43):
you cancel and then it's just.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Like no, so somebody else conna win, right.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
So figuring that part out. But there is one spot left.
If you book and it's sold out, you can still book,
but you'll go on a wait list because the trip
is not until August of twenty twenty six. We're going
to Thailand and you can join the weight, so anything
can happen within a year. So if someone decides that
they can't go, or something comes up, or they're getting married,
I don't know, anything could happen, you can take their spot.

(06:08):
So the link to that will be in the description.
I hope to have you. It's really exciting already, where
I was really nervous to get to have everybody like
start to meet each other this soon because you just
never know if personalities are gonna like mention. Then now
the trip is room people in their talk. But our
group chat has been amazing. I'd love that I attract
a certain type of energy and it's been so great.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
We have a different topic each day.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
One of the girls is coming to Atlanta literally tomorrow
for her birthday. We're gonna go meet for coffee, and
just like.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
She like, can we meet him? I was like, yeah,
are we friends at this point? Don't act like a fan.
We're friends.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
So we're gonna meet up and connect, go do a
little hot yoga. I'm excited about that. But it's about community.
It's about connecting, and sometimes that is very hard for
people to do when you're in certain seasons. And I
just think it's really important that you, if you don't
come on my trip or one of Kiki's trips, find community.
If you can't go on a trip, find community. Some
wearing what you like that you like dog walks, fine community. Also,

(07:05):
Mafit Cancer Center has partnered up with Save the tatas
two point zero brands breast Cancer Awareness Walk that's October
twenty fifth in Tampa and that's for Lula's Legacy of
Love Foundation.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
You guys, if you're able to donate.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
If you're able to make the walk, make sure you
go to www dot Lula's Legacy of Love Foundation dot
org to donate or to sign up to attend that
walk for breast cancer awareness if you've been affected by
it or know somebody who has been. And other than that,
I don't think I have any other announcements right now.
If they pop up in my mind, I'll just tell
y'all in the show what About You, Kiki.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
So last week we were talking, we hadn't had our
book what we were recording, so this will have been
a while ago. We had our book club meeting with
the author, and so that was the first time that
reached out to an author to do it, because I've
been thinking, Okay, what can I do to add something
to the book club experience, especially because because of schedules,

(07:58):
a lot of ladies are in the club and they
aren't always able to meet, and we're all spread across
the country. I don't think anybody's international. Maybe they probably
never doin the meetings, because I would find that interesting anyway,
trying to find different things to do, and I really
liked this book. I said something I think on the
show probably, and I posted on our book club page

(08:20):
on Patreon if you want to sign up his patreon
dot com.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Slash Kiki said, So.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
I posted something about it, and someone else, a friend
that I've met because she's a listener of the.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Show, she was like, oh, I saw this, I know
the author.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Do you want me to connect you or I can
just reach out to her and let her know that
you're going to reach out however you want to do it.
I said, thanks, and I don't I don't know if
she ever said anything to her. Actually, I ended up
just sending her a message and she responded.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
And she was like, yeah, sure, I'll come.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
So she came and I was like, Oh, everybody's on
time to the Zoom today. Everybody's here. It's some faces
I've never seen. I'm excited to see some of you guys.
So I gonna try to do that again.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Y'all.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
That book was so good. I don't want to spoil
it for anybody who didn't read it. But the book
is called If You Love Me. If you like a
little bit of like suspense thriller type of thing, like
you want some action in your romance. It's not a romance.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Novel.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
She says that in the beginning, this is not a
romance novel, but there is romance in it.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
There's a love story.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
And two people are taken apart by a tragedy, and
then the story is trying to figure out how can
they find their way back?

Speaker 2 (09:35):
And the reality of life is.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
When you lose someone, not they're not dead, but you
lose this person y'all are separated for whatever reason, how
long do you wait and do you move on?

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Like?

Speaker 1 (09:47):
Is that okay? Like all the things, it is so good.
I told y'all about it before, and that was early.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
In the book.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
I finish it.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
It's great.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
So anyway, I also like when it's like kind of
like the movies where it's like, oh, they're in this universe.
So it's like characters that aren't main characters in the story,
but they'll be in something else. So we asked her,
if we really enjoyed this book, and this is our
first book of yours and we want to read another,
what would you suggest be the follow up? And she's like, Okay,

(10:17):
this is not a sequel or anything, but there are
characters that you meet in this book if you love me,
that have their own book and their own story, and
it's really juicy because they had some mess going on
that just gets kind of teased. So we're reading Tethered
Love for the month of September. When you hear this,
you do still have time. We do our book club
meetings at the end of the month, and depending on
how the month goes, sometimes it's very early the following month.

(10:38):
But join us and speaking of community, like, that's another
thing because we also do mid month happy hours and
we just talk shit and talk about life and have
fun with each other and try to meet. Some of
the ladies have met in real life. One of the
ladies came on my Curestyle trip earlier this year, and
even Cosmo so show my friend Jill that I met

(11:01):
from Cosmo Social. I met her through the book club.
So it's nice and we are trying. She's she doesn't
know it, but she's about to help me put some
things together so that we can do some more fun
in person stuff. She's already been sending me ideas and
when I leave here, I'm gonna tell her, you're gonna
help me.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Make this happen.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
So I'm looking forward to the new things there. So
book club also continue to check out the Xoman podcast. Also,
please please please leave some comments, share it with people.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
My stepdad sent me a.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Message the other day. He had been sharing it with
friends and so one of his friends sent him a text.
And the show is very different from Cocktails. It's a
different tone. You'll see a different side of me. I
don't drink on the show. I'll be having water. I'm
not wild and a hard rule. No, I just I
don't want to be cutting up because that show, I

(11:51):
am talking to the men and allowing them to open
up and not letting my intrusive.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Thoughts take over.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
So I listened, and I listen and I got the conversation.
But it has really been eye opening. I'm not just
saying this to listen to the stories and it does
make me want to be more considerate and more understanding
of men and just like kind of take a second
in thing like, yeah, they'd be annoying sometimes, but sometimes

(12:21):
there's more to the story and I can complain, complain, complain,
But what did I do to maybe ease something? Did
I ask anything about this person? Did I consider anything?
So anyway, listen to the show. A bunch of different
guys on there when y'all hear this. I don't know
who the last guests would have been, but the last
one that came out while we're recording this was Kendrick

(12:43):
Sampson that was on. He's been on a bunch of stuff,
but I knew him from Insecure and I totally forgot
after the episode came out. One of my friends she
was like, yeah, we went to high school together. I
forgot that cause he's from like Houston anyway. And then
another friend was like, yeah, he tells a story about
how he is on his birthday, Like he just wants
everybody to have fun.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
He'll go out to the club March something. I don't
know if that is. I don't know if he's an
Aries or a Piscey.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
I kind of think he might be a Piscey's because
I feel like it's early in March. But anyway, he's
really nice and my friend was like, he is not
lying at all. I met him randomly and we ended
up at some place. It was like a group of people.
We ended up at this house somewhere continuing the party
after the club, and he was really cool, laid back

(13:32):
and like was truly making sure everybody had a good time.
So it's always nice when you talk to somebody and
they say stuff that sounds good and they be looking good,
and then you have somebody verify they not bullshit, and
that's always refreshing. So there's that, and then, last but
not least, December is coming up soon. I don't know
what everyone is going through in their life, but sometimes

(13:54):
you just want to totally unwind. You don't want to
stress something that stresses me out. That excites me about
this trip. I don't have to worry about what I'm wearing.
I do need to make sure I get my braids,
but all of like, got to get these outfits together,
got to get this together. I've got to make an itinerary.
I don't have to worry about any of that. It's
done for me. We are going to Negrill, Jamaica, going

(14:14):
to the Hedonism to Resort. It is an adults only,
clothing optional resort. There are certain areas where you do
have to be nude, and then there's other areas where
you don't. There's two parties every single day. You don't
have to go, but it's there on the property. It's
all inclusive. There's lots of people because we're going with
the group. The group is Worse Behavior Tour. It's mostly

(14:35):
black and brown people. I know a lot of people
have been DM and me asking me about that. So
if y'all are interested and you want more information, you
can either click the link in the description to go
to their website. They have all of the details there, pricing,
all that information and what types of rooms are available.
Because they pretty much take over the resort, it'll be
like two hundred people, if not more. And several people

(14:57):
who listen to the show, because I'm sure that's how
they found out about it, have booked. They were telling
me that today. So that's exciting. And I'll be there
and it's gonna be a good time. So I hope
that y'all come. And if you're curious and you're not
read a book and the website wasn't telling you enough,
DM me and I'll get back to you and help
you as best I can.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
I guess that's it. I forgot to say Paradise and
Vibe my bad, y'all. I'll just be thinking, y'all know
Paradise Vibe dot com. We're going to Turkey next year.
That's exciting, very excited about that, and I'm like, oh,
do I need.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
A little hair tresplant. That's the hair tres plant, right,
I don't need it, but I can't wait to go
have a little Turkish delight.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
If you're airport, it's so nice. Well, I flew into
Istanboul one time. Really yeah, because when I went to
Greece we had a layover in that airport.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I am very excited like this lavish. I was like,
we can stay here longer.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, and when when? If you do sign up for
the newsletter or you come on the trip. The programming
for Turkey is so every every trip is very into
with paradise and vibe, but this one is is really
focused on like your body, a women's body. So we
might even add like a sex part to it. Not
we have in sex for like sex education to it,

(16:13):
just because of the programming and the reason why we're going.
So if you guys are interested to go to Paris
vibe dot com and I will be there and it
will be a great time and a great trip. And
these are great gifts to give to people. I keep
saying that because sometimes people are like I don't know
what to get somebody, and it be people. They have money,
it's like, get them a trip, get them a retreat.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
If you know your girl has been.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Like sad or like your mom hasn't, someone is always
like I want to try something to be like you
know what you said, you want to try something new.
You said you wanted to be on your worst behavior.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Book them a trip.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
On Kiki's Worst Behavior Tour. You said you wanted to
go solo on a retreat. Book them a spot on
paradise and vibe, like give people experiences.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, because that's like, and that's going to be such
a good memory. Like it doesn't last forever the actual trip.
You gotta go home and get back to normal life.
But wherever you go when you travel, it just it's
just a good it's a tree. Even when like things
don't go well, it's still an experience. It's still memories
and like I love going down memory lane sometimes.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
When is the trip? Do y'all know yet?

Speaker 3 (17:11):
No, we do, but since we don't have all the
details out, yeah, I'm not gonna tell y'all just yet.
But it'll be on a holiday weekend, so you guys
have that little extraness that helps.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, but you definitely don't want to be thinking about
work and missing out. Yeah, losing weight and improving your
health used to feel like something impossible. I felt like
I was on a hamster wheel and I was going
nowhere at all fasts. Something that I've realized after being
a part of the life our XMD family for quite

(17:41):
some time now is how much the cravings that I
would have, like sugar cravings.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
I mean, I just y'all know I love me some flavors.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
When I would crave stuff, I literally had like no
self control.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
It was like food was a fine ass man or something.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
I mean, I just don't know. I just like I
had to have a lick, just a taste, and then
you have a taste, and then you want some more
than you want the whole thing. And like I needed help.
I couldn't do it on my own. I just can't
be out here, raw dog in life like this.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
I just can't.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
So anyway, I have realized that so many of the
things that I used to crave, chips, candy.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Rice, criased retreats.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Who I love a good rice Crispedy treat, ice cream, Yes,
I love them. I like to make them, I like
to buy them. It doesn't matter. Ice cream, y'all. I
have had ice cream in my freezer for a few
months that did not happen before. Like I have had
this one pint and it's just sitting there because I
don't really crave it. Like sometimes I want something cold,
and you know what I do, I just chew on

(18:38):
my little ice Wow. I have a little nugget ice
maker and I love it. It gives you that good crushed
ice and that's water and it makes me drink more water.
I do miss the days of eating those things, but
I don't actually miss the taste. And it's not until
I get to talking about it. But then I can
just look at videos on my phone or on my
iPad and I'm good. It's just like I never I

(19:00):
could get over the cravings like that, and yeah, I
think they're pretty much gone.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
I never thought that I could lose these two roles
that was in my back. And I know I talk
about it every other week, but it was really challenging
and I was like, how am I gonna actually get
rid of these roles?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Life OI XMD.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
They are out here doing the Lord's work if you
ask me, because like Kiki said, those cravings, they just
go away, and it's okay.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
If sometimes you need a.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Little help to lose the little extra pounds that maybe
you gained from that breakup or whatever else you maybe
gained it from, and it's okay.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
I love that. For me.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
It's made me be more intentional because it's like, okay,
it took the cravings.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
It took the cravings away.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Now I make a plan for what I'm gonna eat
so I can make sure I eat at the right
times and keep my energy up.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Take my B twelve shots. I absolutely love them.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
I also love that they have twenty four to seven
customer service life. Our X is accessible, affordable, and built
for people who are ready to become the healthiest versions
of themselves.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
I love that you have to talk to a nurse.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
If you do start taking them and something isn't feeling right,
you can contact your you can go into their portal
schedule a doctor's appointment. I love that they care about
your health, whether you're on it or off it.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
They sure do.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Because I was telling them I was like not eating
a lot, but there was a point where I stopped
dropping pounds, and I expected to drop pounds because I
wasn't working out, so what nothing turned into muscle. And
so when we talked about like my patterns of eating,
she's like, oh, you've got to spread that out more
and just like little things that you don't think about.

(20:26):
But it's like, Okay, I thought suppressing my appetite, I
gotta eat less, but she's like, no, you still need
to eat throughout the day. Just break it up, have
a little protein shake or something. And so once I
started doing that, like within a week or two, it's like, okay, yeah,
I see now.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah I love it.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
So whether you are looking to lose weight, optimize your performance,
or simply just feel better in your body, Life our
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That's l I F E r X dot m D

(21:03):
and use code cocktails to get started on your journey
to a healthier you with support that actually works. The
link is in the episode description. And now we'll get
back to the show, Okay, and.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Then we have one more tis Well, that's it for
the announcements. We're gonna move on to weird sex, and
when we come back, we'll be getting into this week's topics.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
You said a man is not a necessity.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
A man is a luxury like dessert.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah, a man is absolutely not necessity.

Speaker 5 (21:36):
Did you mean that to sound meaning bitter? Oh not
at all.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I adore dessert. I love man.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
I think men are the coolest, but you don't really
need them to live.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Let's see you really be having a little iPad. It
is so handy. Oh no, it didn't die, it just
but thank you.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Oh shit, I think I left it. Another one, the
weird sex story. I didn't copy it here somewhere else. Okay,
this is a story when somebody sent me. Now, I
don't know if this is true or not. I wasn't there,
but let me just share this. Woman says that on

(22:25):
her thirtieth birthday, she and her man decided to make
it real freaky with some whipped cream and some birthday cake.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
M cute in theory, right?

Speaker 1 (22:36):
How about her dog was in the room started charging
at them, dough faced first into the frosting situation, which
was on her body.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
What kind of dog?

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Was it a great day?

Speaker 1 (22:48):
She didn't say, you know what, I imagine a golden retriever.
I was picturing Airbud running up in there, not like
a little cute sea dog, but like a grown dog.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
If they couldn't stop it, he just moved man out
the way. She was just I mean, they probably weren't.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
I don't know, I don't know, that's all she said.
And I'm just like, well, am, why I didn't close
the door. But maybe the dog is in the room
with them.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
And I'm a dog person.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
You gotta get out, shine, get out of the room,
and you might go in the cage if you're gonna
act up, yeah, because.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
You know my girl would we if I mean I
could get a hug or a kiss or something. She
acting like she want to hop up in it or
like separate us or something.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
And I'm like, excuse me, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And you can't get no action yet. You are still
a baby girl.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
So is she still a baby girl?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Well, she's too. She just turned to last week's birthday.
That's how she got her middle name. But yeah, she'd
be thinking she's grown. And she always trying to toot
her booty up when we see the pit bulls. It
has not stopped yet. And I'm just like, baby, I
didn't raise you like this. You need to slow it down.
You need to You're not even able to take your
shit good because you see the pit bull, and I
see the pit bull, and this one is well taken

(23:57):
care of. I don't think he would just leave you
with some little puppies, but I think those puppies gonna
be flicted looking, so I might leave you, and I
love you too.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Much to do that.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
I just I mean, like, girl, you might die. Imagine
some big headed pit bull.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
Cute, I don't know, because they do have big heads.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Like anytime a dog is mixing pitple, you just know
because the head is so large.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
I had a dog one time. It was mixed with
some I don't know if it was a pit bull
or some other big headed dog. But also what's the
winder dogs called a docs And yes, mixed with that
because he had that long body, but he was bigger.
I know he wasn't mixed with no qurky, because didn't
nobody around there have no qurky. That just sound a

(24:41):
little too pricey for that. It's a bunch of mutts.
But yeah, he was real flicted looking. He died a
long time ago. His name was Jazz and he was
wild and crazy, so you gotta be careful what you
mix up with anyway.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
That is we're sex for this week.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Y'all be careful when you're having sexy time, and when
you have pets, put them away, lock them away, or
give them some of that sleepy time medicine. And also
be careful when you're putting sugary things on your body.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Make sure it's not.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Getting in crevices because there's only so much soaking wet
can do.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
That's for like and used infections like do you really
want to bread factory? That's a defly combo.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
You just in the doctor like it hurts said.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
It's like, just remove it all.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Okay. Anyway, that's in for the story.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
If y'all have something that happened to you, share it.
A little details are fine.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
I'll cut out all them unnecessary.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Or if you've seen any crazy stories online, please send
them my way. You can DM them to me, you
can email them to weird sex at cocktailspot dot com.
All right, Oh oh no, I'm on the wrong page.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Let's go back, all right. You guys, So.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
We're volunteering for your birthday. I know that that's coming
up and then I was going through the episodes we've
recorded recently, and you were talking about like a bad
experience with a friend when they did something that you didn't.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Like, when your birthday is coming.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Up, or just is there a certain time of year
some people do it like New Year's resolution, where you're
just reflecting and looking at where you came from, where
you're going, like growth and all of that. Do And
I know you've shared too a lot about like changing
and like dealing with the ups and downs of friendships
and stuff where you are right now? How does how

(26:32):
do you feel when you find yourself growing apart from
friends because of changes, whether it's them changing or you changing.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
I don't like it's been.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
I think I look at it so different now, I
guess because I don't people need I don't think we
grow apart like I even though I'm changing. I love
my friends that are my friends, you know what I mean.
But if it's ever like a something that I'm not
gonna participate in or like the energy is kind of off.
I'm really working on giving people grace, like I'm changing

(27:07):
and I'm doing these things for me and like my
life and how I would like for things to go
unless you were just like outrageously disrespectful.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Oh yeah, it's different.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
But it's like if I'm not smoking weed all day,
but I've got friends that still do drugs, and it's
I'm it's okay, Like it's I don't want you to
feel like I'm changing, and it's.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Like, and you better. And I go to church every Sunday.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
All of my friends don't do that, but I appreciate
like my girl Ayana, there's no I really don't think
there's anything that could grow us apart. She doesn't go
to church like that. But during the month of February,
I thought this was so like, it was just so
kind of her.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
It was really rough for me.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
It was my first February without my ex boyfriend. I
was really sad and they were doing a whole love
series and I was like, what if he is at church, Like,
am I gonna have a breakdown?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
I'm still gonna go because you're not about to run
me out of church.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
And Aana was like, you know what, friends, She's like,
even though I live super far and I don't go
to church, I'm coming with you every Sunday.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
She stuck to that.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
She came every single Sunday and she sat in there
and held my hand. I ain't no growing apart from that,
I don't care what journey I'm on and with you
know what I mean. It's like, so even friends that
are like dealing with like hardships right now, I think
they're like I want to experience the cycles of friendship now,
Like it's not always for me. Everybody is, you know,

(28:28):
on different paths, but like if you're in a rough
cycle right now, I get it because I have been
in those rough cycles where it seems like I'm just
the party girl, but really I'm sad where it seems
like I'm doing all these things and there's something going on.
And I wish that I could go back to some
of those friendships that fell apart and somebody could have
just been like are you okay? And like I know

(28:48):
this isn't you you know what I mean? So it's
like I kind of like noticed that. And if I'm
growing and you're grown, most of us are growing in
different areas, but I'm not.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Really growing away from you.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
And if I kind of get silent, you can still
call on me. It might not be about you, like
are you good? Do you need anything? Like people got kids.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
People.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
It's really interesting because sometimes people talk about the grow apart,
like when when you're when people have kids and they
grow apart, and it's like everyone's always worried about the
person with the kid, like don't leave me out, and
they don't really think about like your single friends who
don't have the things, and maybe they do one of
the things. And not that I'm like hating on anybody
and anything, but it's just like sometimes you do kind
of get in your feelings, but it's not necessarily that

(29:28):
we grow apart. There's just a certain amount of grace
and space and we if we can come back. Yeah,
we're friends. Like if Handah and I, hand and I
used to live together, we used to live in the same building.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
We always make sure we were close. She moved away,
I am here.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
She has a kid now, and sometimes there's this space yeah,
and I don't I can't really handle the friendships right
now where if we have space, it's like this pressure.
If somebody's mad, you know, I'm not mad you. And
if if you think I'm ad you did you do something.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
I'm not really where this is coming from. Yeah, just
hit me up and be like Okay, are we still good? Yeah,
gir are we good? I'm just a little sad, honestly liked,
are you checking out?

Speaker 4 (30:05):
Like?

Speaker 2 (30:06):
I don't want to grow apart. I want to grow.
And if you don't want to grow in the area,
you don't have to come to church with me. You
know what I mean? You don't want so for me,
it's just like, let's just make sure we are growing now.
Mm hmm, let's just make sure.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
As much as I would like to say same, it's
a little different for me. Most of that is the
same because I do agree. I don't want to grow
apart from people, especially like anyone that's like a friend friend,
not like we're cool. We just met yesterday and like
we're friendly and we're trying to build a friendship. But
we don't have history there. We haven't learned enough about

(30:41):
each other. But we're doing that. I'm talking about people
where I feel like I know them and they know me.
I have had experiences where I was hopeful and then
I guess it kind of fizzled a way. There's only
like maybe two or three people where that door is closed.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
It's not gonna be open.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Too many dish, respectful and trifling ass things happen for
me to do that because I feel like I have
to protect myself. And this happened, and it got this
far because I kept making excuses for somebody. And at
this point, it's not about changing, it's not about growth.
I'm looking at it like a character flaw, and you're

(31:21):
acting weird with me, and not like a weird We
can't talk about it, but you're just doing some shit.
I just can't get with it. So there's distance. We
talk about it, and if you're okay with certain things
that I feel like are really bad, I don't have
the grace for that, but I do have the grace
and the patience. I don't want to talk to anybody

(31:42):
every day. I talk to myself every day, and I
don't even be wanting to do that.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
So I'm okay with space.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
And I've been trying to do a better job of
like speaking up in my friendships and relationships where I
start to feel like things might be one inided, you know,
because a problem I've had in the past is like
making excuses, and everything is going on in my head
right making excuses. I'm trying to figure stuff out, trying

(32:12):
to every time I talk to this person, it seems
like a bad time, so I don't want to bring
it up. I don't want to cause an issue. I
had to get over that right, and so now I'll
just speak up and then, you know, I just try
to pay more attention to how you act. If I
say I feel like I always come to hang out
with you, I always invite you out, and we come
and we have a good time. But and you go

(32:33):
out and you do things the same kind of things
that we would do together, and you don't invite me.
Or you'll reach out and say I want to hang out,
and you get mad when you see me out with
other people, but.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
You never invite me. Like what kind of sense that make?

Speaker 1 (32:45):
We can talk about something like that, Like those little
things I understand to a degree, and I just I
got to be better with talking to people about stuff
like that. There was a situation didn't happen to me,
but it happened with some friends and another friend was
like mad because she wasn't getting invited by this other friend,
and she was looking at stuff online thinking everything is

(33:06):
happening in real time, not realizing all this happened in
a day, and just acting like the girls. But we
gotta stop making assumptions just with people. Stop assuming that
you know what's going on or whatever.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Invite the people out if you miss your.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Friend, instead of nitpicking at who they're spending time with
and what they're doing with their time planning something, Invite
them out or just say I miss your friend. Like
sometimes people feel like you don't hit them up and
you don't miss them, and it's just like life goes on.
Everybody has so many things going on in their lives,
and so I just wanted to remind the people to

(33:40):
think about that, because you're right, you never know what
someone is going through no matter how they're acting. They
could be acting what seems like is normal, but what
is abnormal is y'all are hanging out and you miss
your friend. I just really don't understand why it's so
hard to tell a friend you miss them. I don't,
but she will say something else. It's like you give
them like negative energy and like attitude when you just

(34:03):
miss your friend. Yeah, y'all, we need to do better.
We are doing because I've seen that a lot.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
I was listening to a video the other day and
it was so funny because I had just got finished
having a conversation about somebody who better and not ever
reach out to me again. And then I got this
message and it was talking about the elasticity of your
somebody's heart. And now I've added that to my list
of things to pay attention to in a like a
life partner. And it's a it smacked me so deep

(34:35):
in my soul because I was like, this is something
I need to work on. You ever be like I
want to be a good person. I want to be
the best person I could be. I want to be
the best version of myself. I want to And you
have all these prayers and you have all these goals
just about like yourself. And then like sometimes you'll get
tested to see like a great person is forgiving, a
great person gives grace, Like a great person can listen,

(34:55):
a great person can be understanding. And so you get
tested with these situations and these scenario is that are
gonna have to challenge that like do you listen?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Are you actually forgiving?

Speaker 3 (35:05):
And so like maybe the hardest relationship that you always said,
if he came back out, I don't even look my way,
Or the girl that somebody stole some money or somebody
did betray you, like sometimes you can be tested to see,
like do you believe that people can change? And for
most I even had to admit I was like, oh
my god, like I'm not going to sit here and lie.
I have several people where I've been like you've been

(35:25):
not ever come back.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
I mean, but that's how you started this off.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
Yeah, in my same in the version of me now,
I am like, I don't if I gotta be tested
in that way. I don't know who would be sent
back to see if you could change, but I just
it made me think like wow, like people have had
some really bad versions of me. There are not a lot,
but there is there's someone who could really be like yeah,

(35:50):
like what you know what I mean? Like, and y'all
have seen bad versions of me. I've changed, and so
that doesn't mean that you can't still make mistakes. That
doesn't mean and it's so it's like it's interesting because
he was talking about the human experience and how sometimes
when your raw emotions or your raw human experience is exposed,
not that we can keep it together and we're not

(36:11):
gonna show that your boyfriend cheating all you or your
cousin aside. Checkout or you are this, Like it was
just all these versions of like when you've been your
worst self, those things don't get shown, and people don't.
We don't talk about our own worst moments. We talk
about other peoples and the people that we're not gonna forgive.
We don't talk about people that's not gonna forgive us.
And so it's just interesting, like to be a well
rounded person and to look at it in that way.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
It's been like, you know what, I might.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Have to like take a look at if those people
ever did come back around, Like I do believe that
people can change because I did it, and I would
want somebody to believe that, all right, this.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Wuld changed still acting how she was acting six years ago.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yeah, And so it's just an interesting thought of awareness,
Like now I'm not telling nobody to go back to
some but but for me, it's like, but I'm saying
I want to be a whole person, and to do
that it's our whole lot of work and it's hard.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
And the other part to that too is like, Okay,
have I paid enough attention to just people like what
I want, what I don't want, what I really think
is good, not what somebody else told me is good.
But what I think is good versus what I don't like,
what I don't want. Is that going to stay? Am

(37:24):
I going to keep those thoughts in boundaries, healthy boundaries,
not like a hand up I'm blocking you? But just
am I gonna be able to see if somebody changed?

Speaker 2 (37:33):
I can come into it with an open mind? Right?

Speaker 1 (37:36):
But am I going to revert back to making excuses
in the same way because somebody said they changed? But
then the stuff is there? Because sometimes I think that's
another lesson that we get tested on. I know I
definitely have.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
I think.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
You feel like, well, I have felt like, okay, I'll
do better, or this person changed. I give them the chance,
I do all the things, and then when it all
comes back, it's like no, and not that they can't change.
But the lesson you needed to learn, man, is not
about can the other person change. You need to see
if you changed and if you grew from the preview
experience that you was calling all your homegirls crying about

(38:13):
you steal back in the same spot. So maybe you
have to take a break and work on yourself, because
sometimes too, those relationships that aren't working out, no matter
what kind or like feeling like there is a wall up.
It's because you need to work on self because all
these relationships are two sided. And I don't know anyone
who has ever always been their best self with another person.

(38:37):
You know, you gotta really check yourself. Like when we
were talking to first, Okay, so he tried to make
a joke about something about a girl. Something went wrong, right,
didn't work out? Oh, she wanted him to love her deeper.
I was really curious when I said, did.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
You learn anything from that?

Speaker 1 (38:58):
And then he kind of made a joke like, Okay,
we can move on. But I think about that sometimes,
like the people I've heard have I can I sit
back and really look at it. I'm sure I can
make a joke about how this person was and what
they did to me, But what did I do to them?
How did I make this person feel? And what am
I going to do better in the future. It doesn't
have to be with that person, be somebody else. I

(39:20):
just this time of year, September, I just really tried
to reflect because I do think we should grow and change.
Certain things will say the same. Some things it's me
as in me, and I don't know that it'll ever change,
and I'm okay with that, but other things, I do
want to be a better version of myself than I
was a year ago, two years ago, ten years ago.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
You know.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yeah, I'm trying to remember who I was. Last year
was a sad year. Yeah, I'm not the girl from
last year because last year it was just a really
rough year. But I'm glad to be on the other
side of it.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Do you have any like rituals or like traditions that
you have just with yourself, like little things you always.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Do my birthday? I do.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
I I think that I always am going to do
something start the day off with some sort of self care,
Like normally it's gonna be a massage or a facial,
maybe both.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
That I guess that would probably be my tradition. Yeah, yeah,
I take care of yourself.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
Yeah, I get a massage, I get a little facial,
I take the day real light, and I just yeah,
that's the tradition. I'm gonna poor poor massage. I love
a massage. I love a good massage.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
And what kind do you get? I get the I
guess it would be a Swedish I get it.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
I just needed to be a deep tissue and sometimes
I'll add a rock. Sometimes I add a little CBD
and focus on my back, feet and shoulders, but still
full body. I said the same thing every time. I
don't need you to ask me if the pressure did.
If it's not good, I'll tell you.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Let me be quiet. He ever gets my massage and
you're talking too much. I was just talking.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
Like it's dark here. Y'all got the New age music going.
It might be an incense, a candle, some aroma therapy.
I did not check talk to me on the damn
thing when I selected what I want it. Yeah, I
want it to be quiet. I would like to snore.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
Do you have any traditions birthday traditions? Well, I used
to walk side in the shower. Don't do that. I'm
not doing that.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
And then I was like what am I doing? Sometimes
I just want a dramatic cry. Sometimes I'm just like, Okay,
I know this is so crazy. If anybody ever saw me,
if there was a hidden camera, it's just like because
I wasn't always sad. I think it probably started with
a sad birthday, and then later I just was like,
people are crazy, and I'm like, I'll just do it.
I used to get really sad about getting older. I'm

(41:46):
not right now, but uh yeah, sometimes I just have
little moments where I just want to do something really
dramatic that makes no sense. So I typically try to
do that alone because you know, people start looking at
you all crazy. It's like, do you need to have
one of those jackets and can give yourself a hug?
You know some days, but hopefully not on my birthday.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
I think I just it's nothing specific, but I want
to do what I want to do, and I'm not budgeing.
This is an uncompromising day. So yeah, that's it. Hopefully
I get my massage and everything and I can relax
and I'll feel good.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
I need one. I need one right now. I feel
the crook in my neck. I love a good birthday massage.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know what else I want to try?

Speaker 1 (42:36):
I saw I don't remember if it's Natline or not,
but it's like a CBD and THHC cocktail making class.
So there's no actual alcohol, but it's that and you
learn how to make some different cocktails and like the
different things to blend with it. I want to look
into that because we did the episode with the drippy
and y'all are like, who bore the drinks? But it

(42:57):
was just a little can of that drip.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
It was just a little dri even it wasn't drunk.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
It was just loose.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
But it's trying to be a little loose sometimes it is.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
I was having a good laugh and I meant everything
I said. I just you know, I'm not thinking about nothing.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Everybody said that on that episode, your southern bell accent
came out. I was like, it definitely did.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
That's how I'd be signed at home and I have
to tighten it up and then you know, my drunk
voice is just slurry mess. But somebody was like, I
can tell can he just got back from Texas because
the Texas is real loud, And I was like, funny,
thing is girl? I hadn't left yet. I was leaving
the next day after we recorded that. Nah, it's just
sounded like Whitley Gilbert. But sometimes I think it's kind

(43:41):
of funny because I'm.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Like, I really am country country. Did you ever have
a country accent? No?

Speaker 3 (43:47):
I don't know, but think it's weird because when I
get around some people, like in Pittsburgh, like they'll say
that if they hear a twang but I just think
that's because you don't I don't really know.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
I've never really had an accent.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, that's surprising, little twang. I'm gonna trying to hear it.
I heard in my voice, but I never heard.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
It in yours.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
It's been eighty four years.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Wow, long time.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
You know.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
I have a funny conversation with somebody in my DM zone.
Worry girl, I'm not gonna put you out there. I
would never do that. But she asked to me what
was it that I was taking when I shared a
story about my pussy being really dry, and I was
trying to figure it out, and like what made me
take whatever I took? Because she thinks that maybe she
took too much of something because something just wasn't right.

(44:32):
And I was like, okay, girl, well what happened with
me was a combination of two things. I have bad allergies,
so I was taking zyrtech and then I also took
like some tile and all or something I wanted my
period to stop. I was doing things that I do
not recommend. What I do recommend, and what I told her,
So I'm gonna tell you guys too, is soaking wet

(44:53):
from VB health. Soaking Wet is a vaginal probiotic and probiotic.
They have vitamins, minerals, all sorts of great things packed
into these small capsules that you take on a daily basis.
And I can't help but think if I was taking
that back then I wouldn't have experienced that, because even

(45:14):
though if you do take a lot of allergy medicine,
vitamin C and a few other things, you can experience
some dryness and then it'll throw things out of whack
and who knows when it'll get back right. Maybe I
wouldn't have because I would have had enough of the
other things in my body to kind of still make
things be good. I'll never know, but I hope that you,
especially my allergy people out there, that you never go

(45:35):
through this. Get your Soaken Wet pills. They are really good.
You just take them every day. I mean, all instructions
are there, but they are packed with wonderful ingredients. They
are put together in a really nice facility. It's clean.
This is not happening in somebody's bathroom or kitchen. And doctors,
actual doctors, medical doctors are the ones who put this together.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
So I love it.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
You supplements that work and vbhealth soaking wet. That is
a supplement that works. I love, Like Kiky said, take
it daily. This is a vitamin. I'm not having sex
right now, but I'm gonna be ready when I start.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
It's just good and marinating.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Like you guys, It's just it's a good way for
you to start your if you don't take vitamins.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Some people don't be taking vitamins.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
I'm like, start somewhere, Start somewhere, So maybe you start
with with your VB health so you guys, you can
get something for your man. Also, I always say this
if you're if you're a couple that travels a lot,
or you're a long distance relationship. These are cute little
gifts to just randomly send. Imagine you're setting up a
cute little like Zoom date night or FaceTime date night.

(46:43):
You send Bay the load boost that they have for men,
and it just makes like a cute little eve if
you never tried it before, FaceTime masturbation more exciting.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Did you get the gift I got you? Like, I mean,
like try some new things.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
You guys make every encounter slipperier, sexier, and downright sensational.
So it's time to get Soaking Wet and keep those
good times coming. Literally, so you guys, head on over
to Soaking Wet dot com use code Cocktails for ten
percent off, or click the link in the episode description,
and now let's get back to the show.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
You have one here.

Speaker 3 (47:16):
Disappointments in showing up a time when friends a friend
promised to show up and didn't have.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
I had that. I've had that experience.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
I don't know that it was a birthday, but I've
definitely had that experience in life A few times. It
was some live shows. I was very upset.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Because they said they were coming, they said they were.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Coming, they said they were helping, and it's just like,
this isn't like random day. You know, I was kind
of counting on you. But at the end of the day,
the show must go on and you just got to
keep it moving. But it is disappointing or I can't
think of something specific, but I know that I've experienced
this when somebody goes out of their way to make

(47:59):
to be like I am gonna be there, I am
going to do these things, and then they don't.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
It's like why you do all day?

Speaker 3 (48:03):
Even ask Now I'm sitting here like Will Smith with
his dadd didn't show up in that episode that we
all crying.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Oh yeah, and what was that reason? Like RDI B said,
like what and don't let me feel like I really
didn't want you here anyway you was gonna so it
worked out. But now I got an attitude because I've
made provisions for you. Yeah, that has happened a few times.
I try not to do that. And when somebody knows

(48:31):
they're not coming and they wait until and it's like
not random day out, but you wait until you know
it's too late. Why you knew you didn't want to?
Like how we've talked about like dates and like people
canceling on us. For example, last night, you know we're
at the studio, you know that we're doing this and
you're just having a rough day.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Okay, understood, but you had a rough day and you
woke up. Yeah yeah, have you not show people? Friends
won't show up? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Yeah, absolutely, I've had friends show up and I mean
not show up and you really are looking.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Like do you like me? Like are you my friend?
And we still friends? I'll still be like early friends.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
But the good side, Oh go ahead, sorry no, just's
just yeah, but The flip side is it always feels
really really good when somebody shows up that you think
wouldn't like whether they said it and they're a flake,
or they never said anything and surprised you, or they
said it kind of in passing me, like yeah, you
always say that and then you see them at the

(49:33):
whatever it is. That always feels really good. And I
like being able to do that for other people in
hopes that they feel like it feels really good too.
I hope it doesn't truss anyone out, but yeah, I
think that that's good too. You just never know or
like I've gone to like some kids birthday parties, and yeah,
I don't have the kids, but they are always so

(49:56):
grateful when you do show up because like you didn't
have to do all of this, But I'm think about
the kids and like you know, you have Like I
have memories of my mom's friends and a lot of them.
I don't know if she's friends with everybody, but there
are something she's still friends with and I have all
of these memories with them, and that's special to me,
and I want that for the other kids too, And

(50:18):
I just think it's good to like also form relationships
and connections with those kids, because I'd be thinking real
foreign into the future, like what about when they get
a little older. And I know that there were certain
things where I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone about,
let alone my mama. And maybe I knew I couldn't
tell my aunties because they was gonna tell my mama,
or I didn't feel comfortable to tell their friends. I

(50:39):
think about that so that because I know I am
going to tell the mama, but I can listen to
a kid and maybe offer a different perspective and maybe
help you along the way, just you know, like an
Auntie day.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
When you show up for people, even people that you
don't I love to just pop it on somebody and they're
not expecting it. I went to La this past weekend
and I popped up on my nephew and he didn't know.
I hit up Margot at his mom and I was like,
I'm gonna I'm going to be in La.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
It's not going to be that long.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
But can we go ahead and plan for me to
pop up at Zaane's school and just surprise him. I
don't want him to know. I would like to eat
lunch with him at school. She's like they don't allow
that anymore. But which, yeah, craziness in the schools, but
at least they didn't allow to hit school like I
couldn't go. You know what you used to be like
your sister or your mom could come in lunch. They
could bring lunch to sit at the table with you. You see,
their little friends. M So she was like, what you
can do is pick him up a little bit early

(51:28):
before schools and he there's a he has a favorite
spot around the corner, and y'all can go. My nephew
is so boujie. It was a Taiwanese restaurant.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
It was good.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
And so when I went, the light on his face.
He I was in the office and I was like,
don't tell him that I'm here to pick him up,
just you know, he doesn't know. And he came around
the corner and I wasn't facing him, and he was
in there.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
He was like Dan, Dan, And I turned around. He
was just like, what are you doing here?

Speaker 3 (51:56):
He was so he was so shocked and he was like,
what are you I was like, everything's okay. I didn't
want because my nephew's really intelligent. I was like, everything's fine.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
He was like, you're just here and I was like yeah.

Speaker 5 (52:04):
He just hugged me.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
He was like, what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (52:07):
You know?

Speaker 2 (52:07):
I was like, I want to just see you.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
I want you to know like I will pull up
for you. I love you and that means something. So
id He was like, well, what are we gonna do?
I was like, We're gonna go to your favorite restaurant.
Joy He was like yeah. We went and he knew
what he wanted to order. The people knew him. He
told me what I should order. He said this is
what mommy gets and I got that. And then it
was so funny because this lady camp She was like,
I'm sorry, is that zaying?

Speaker 2 (52:28):
And I said, that's saying.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
She was like, my name's Ruth and I know him
and his mom. Come in here, like I always saying,
I was cracking. This other girl came up. She was cute,
she was regular.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
She was like zam. Zame was like hi, Marche.

Speaker 5 (52:39):
I was like, what happened?

Speaker 3 (52:41):
She was like, he was just swimming at my house
a few weeks so I know Margot and it was
just we had such a good time. We sat that
it was just him and I that one on one
time anything going on anything. You need to tell me
how you feeling. And then I took him to a
little di y donut shop. We made donuts and that's
just important. But then on a lighter note, when Hugo
had sent me a DM like I'm doing this show.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
I put this show together.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
If you have time to pull up on people, pull
up on people, we might be able to do it
all the time.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
People you know and people you don't know. Like cause
even to see that he was like you really can't.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Oh, I'm gonna come now that she was in La
this was no, no, no. This is when he I
didn't know him and he's just slid in and was like,
I put together this thing. When anybody says they put
together something, I'm not saying I can come to everything.
That is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is
if there is space to go, and I do look
at it and it's like, wow, this this is dope.
Like I love comedy and you put it together. I
want to see it. And it was a great show
to support somebody in the arts like you, that's your baby.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
And to see his face when he saw he was
like really he did't say it out loud.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
But I saw it, and I do that to several people,
where like you just pull up and it's just.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Like wow, you came.

Speaker 6 (53:45):
It feels so good, like oh my god. And then
when they're good at it, like wow, I'll see you.
I'll see you do something nice for somebody this week.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Pull up, Yeah, put a smile on there.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Even if you're having a bad day, If you can
muster up the strength to give somebody else a good day,
I bet it's gonna make you.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Feel better that. It definitely is good luck, y'all.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
I like picking well. I used to picking up Walker
from school early and I'll still.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Do it sometimes. But he just loves the Dagger video games.
Those video games.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
I said, if I ever have kids away with the
games like I am looking at, I mean, what.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
They forget how to talk?

Speaker 1 (54:30):
I kind of think that that was a part of
the plan. But I think this is me making all
of this up. But the fact is, yes, well, no
to be away to do away with the toys. His
PlayStation that he just got for his birthday, which was
in July is still at my house. He stayed with
me for like a week last month. I think that

(54:52):
the way we did the pick up and drop off.
He had to leave stuff with me, but I was
not picking him up from that. I stay at school,
and then they had plans all weekend. I was going somewhere.
So I haven't seen him since in the PlayStation still
at my house. I think his mama planned that out
without saying anything, because kids, you know, these little smart kids,

(55:13):
they be knowing pass codes, and they're doing things like
going through messages trying to see what's going on or
looking for stuff, and they gonna find out the plans.
So she didn't tell me, but I kind of think that.
So I just haven't said anything about it. I've been
sitting over there, all tucked away, and I'll give it
to your mama, because I also don't want you to play.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
It for me.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Yeah, you gotta put it down. I'll be like, buddy,
give me the game.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
I've noticed a lot of kids sometimes they are having
trouble like having conversations and like being able to talk.
And I'm like, okay, but you texting, we still gotta talk.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
We still gotta talk.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Like some peoples kids, I'll be like, well, y'all not
even trying to make the kids talk. That's not going
on with all the kids snatching up all these games.
I don't care if you have a fallout.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
And the adults y'all worse because you should know better.
And if you weren't raised right, that's okay. You need
to find new people in your life to show you
what it's like, because it's nothing like talking to a
very grown person. And they are and nothing's wrong with them.
Before y'all start thinking that nothing's wrong, they just they're

(56:19):
having trouble putting words together and like having a conversation
with a human.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
But they can text you or you just don't have
any input on anything, like in a conversation, like you're
just like you ever been on it. It's been a
long time since I've been on a date like this.
But I'm not gonna lie young men. Young man, if
you're boring, and by boring, I just mean you don't
need to want to swim with the sharks.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
I'll handle that by myself. When I say boring, I
mean like you are, you have nothing.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
To talk about, Like I'm not the person that you
should probably be reaching out to.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
And there has been like somebody that I was gonna
try to. I was gonna try and I'm like, what
do you what I talk?

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Was it like silent or you were trying to have
a conversation from there?

Speaker 3 (57:06):
To give you an example, I'm gonna be him, and
you'd be a person that is talking on the phone
like I'm gonna call you. Also, I'm calling you because
I'm interested in you. We know that now, and I'm trying.
I'm trying to give you the little chance. Okay, I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Calling hello, Hey, what are you doing? I'm good? What's
going on with you? I'm good. I just got off work.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Okay, So what's going on?

Speaker 4 (57:32):
Like?

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Did you need something or you were just calling to talk?

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Oh? No, I was just calling a check. Why you
need anything besides this house I saw on Zillow. I
don't really need anything. Do you need something?

Speaker 4 (57:48):
No?

Speaker 1 (57:48):
All right, well I gotta edit.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
But it's like I can't do this. I try, and
I really am.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
She's also not asking me no real question, you know,
asking a real question.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
It sotimes. I'm like when people are doing that, like
do you know you're doing that?

Speaker 3 (58:00):
And can you cause I And I'm trying to work
on my patience, but like the tone alone gets me
mad because I can already tell you have nothing. So
it's like that little swing, like just call and see
how you're doing.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
I always feel like when you do that swing that
you're talking about, it's because you're trying to swing control
to me and you want me to take over the
conversation and ask the questions and answer the questions that
I thought she was gonna ask when I tried to
swing it back to you and you didn't, so I
just answered myself that's exhausting. And then I'm like, the

(58:31):
nervous sound is different. It sounds a little.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
It's when you're not nervous. It's like this is just
really how you're talking. It's like you this has worked,
I get I don't or it's not working and you're
not realizing this is the thing, you know how some
people like I don't know why no one likes me,
And it's like, how do.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
You tell somebody like you're boring?

Speaker 3 (58:46):
I'm trying, but like I also don't think you can
like make somebody I like to talk. So it's like
if you have to force me to talk, I'm either
sick or you I don't like you, and I'm trying
to just I don't know what to do or I'm
trying to let you have what do would you like
to talk about? Okay, so let's do it again. Let's
just talk like normal people that talk. Okay, I'm gonna call.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
You again and just be me Okay, okay, ring ring Hello? Hey,
what you doing? Are you're smiling? Did you eat already?

Speaker 4 (59:12):
No?

Speaker 2 (59:12):
Girl?

Speaker 1 (59:13):
And I'm hungry. I've been on DoorDash for three hours,
so going into ower four, I don't even know what
you're doing.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Okay, singing up DoorDash or be careful because I was
watching this thing the other day and it was a
door dash man he walked in there and killed the lady.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Was that a documentary on Hulu? It was whirl? What
we're doing?

Speaker 3 (59:29):
And so to me and me when you talking how
he's talking, it's like, what are you doing.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
Throughout the day? Have you read some And it's not
a judgment.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
It's just like, why is this just a judgment for me?
Because why are you calling me like this? I didn't
call you.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
And you're not even trying to get off the phone.
You would like to prolong this? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 (59:46):
Cause if you call me and I am busy and
I'm giving you that like, I'm probably actively working on
something and I can't focus on this. I can't figure
out what the fuck you want. And while you're bothering me,
somebody in the car and said, Kiki is sick of
everybody shit? Still am because why.

Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
Do you want to make me laugh? And there's so
much you can say. It doesn't have to be deep
and don't got to be news. You learn to Chris
Brown dance, No, but I'm trying to learn it. Like
what are we talking about?

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
I can't all this space. It's like you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Did not have to call. And that is reason number
eighty seven. While oftentimes I prefer text a lot of
these phone calls when it's given that dead air for
no reason. No, the exception to that is if I
know you well, sometimes I do just sit on the phone.

(01:00:35):
Anybody knew if I can't sit in person with you
and be comfortable in silence because I don't need to
fill all of the space with air. It makes me
feel comfortable to where I'm not in my head about
what this person is thinking, why they're not talking, why
are they talking so much? About I talking too much?
Like all of those things, I'm comfortable. We can watch
something we can read separately. But maybe I just want

(01:00:57):
you close to me, but we ain't there yet. If
you're calling me with conversations like that, and if we
are there and you did that, I don't know what's
going on with you. But again, I'm doing something. You
hear the keyboard clocking, I'll call you back.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
And I'm trying. I really am trying to ask.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
I just feel like I keep getting all these signals
that are just signaling to me to be like, yes,
still sit down, because.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
This is boring. There's nothing to rush too. There is
nothing to rush to, really nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Yeah, yes, space and plenty of opportunity, and the people
aren't taking it. Maybe it is somewhere behind or near
far away, on the other side of the store from
the audacity, because they keep running over there to audacity,
but they won't go over to opportunity. Hobbies, y'all gotta
get some hobbies too, or just like little things. If
you don't have a hobby, you don't have to pick

(01:01:43):
something out of nowhere. You could try some stuff sometimes,
I think as a fellow workaholic, you gotta stop at
some point and just like find something. You might not
have a lot of time once a month or quarterly
or whatever, an annual thing if you are that strapped
for it. But y'all gotta find some other things to do.
And when you do those things, you meet other people.
You figure out if you like this thing or not

(01:02:05):
trying the different stuff is gonna give you what something
to talk about? Yeah, an experience that you had, like.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
Yeah, that's one of the things to some people are
okay with just not talking. That is a really quick way.
Or I'm just like, there's y'all, this is I'm not
talking to you nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Because I'm ready to go home.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
If I wanted to deal with somebody who don't talk,
I get back on the SAMs.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
And that's even sometimes with like have you ever been
like you go to somebody's like situation, like they're a
party or something, and it's like you told me I
needed to come and we're all at the dinner and
nobody's talking and everybody's on their Phonebody.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Be here for that, if that's what we're doing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
You need to have an activity at least if you
know none of your friends talk. Sometimes what I do
I do this at Paradise and Vibratrees. It's a card
at each table. You're talking. You're going to talk. I
just need you to know that. And it's a it
might be funny, it might be a question, it might
be finished this song.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
We have to start talking. Why are we just sitting
here on the phone. I didn't even want to come period.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
What you can do if you have trouble coming up
with the things and you do want to do better
and you know it, but you are just like awkward
and stuck and confused, you know what.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
You can do.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
We've got a cheat code for you. I'm curious tono
dot com. There's so many questions in there. While it
is ideal for dating, you can absolutely use it for that.
There are questions in there that I have asked friends,
and I'm like, I'm gonna start asking more people this
question because when you get all of the different responses,
it just you just learn a lot. Like even doing
the show and talking to people, even the ones who

(01:03:37):
don't talk, sometimes there's something in there that you can
still pull out. You just start to learn more about things.
You find out about more things like y'all got to
get out of.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Your little bubbles.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
Yeah, it just please, please, just a little bit, just
a little bit. Anyway, that's it. We're gonna move on
to Indecisive Diane, and when we come back, it'll be
time for that advice and then the cocktails.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking
about what I want? What do you want? What your
parents want? What do you want? What do you want?
What do you want? What do you want?

Speaker 7 (01:04:23):
Hey, ladies, it's me Diane. I'm gonna keep this really
short and sweet. I hope you've been well. I hope
your heart is healthy, and I hope you're not dealing
with ashy sons and crying all summer.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
But listen up, if you were, make sure.

Speaker 7 (01:04:36):
Your book The Lover of Girls, layover with Medina Monroe.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
You guys.

Speaker 7 (01:04:40):
She has a ton of things plans.

Speaker 5 (01:04:42):
For all the love of girls, all of them.

Speaker 7 (01:04:44):
And just because you're a love of girl, that doesn't
mean you're not in a relationship. You could be a
love a girl in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
I'm sad, so book the trip now.

Speaker 5 (01:04:51):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Okay, So we are back from Indecisive Diane, and it
is time for the advice. If you are going through
something child, send us an email and hopefully we can
help you through it, or we will all just laugh
and give you something that you can use.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
The email is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
Advice at cocktailspot dot com and put advice on the
subject please.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
Okay, this one says, Hey, ladies, I hope all is
well with you guys. I'm a twenty year old guy
who found you guys during quarantine. Okay, I gotta say.

Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
Y'all, wait a minute. You twenty today?

Speaker 2 (01:05:56):
Quarantine was three years ago. Five? Oh my god, five
twenty twenty five. Wow the hell you was doing this to?
Your mom was playing it, wouldn't she?

Speaker 3 (01:06:08):
Or maybe he's just into the older women. We're older
women now, yeah we are.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
I was telling somebody else the other day. My friend
Amber had posted something she was like, as a middle
aged woman going to Miami, it's just not the same.
We don't have it in us. So we got I
think they got dressed up and maybe they just went
out earlier in the day to feel like and it
was fine. Yeah, we're middle aged and and.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
It is funny. We were just talking about like growth
and growing away from friends. Now that is one of
the things where it's like, if you're doing a Miami trip, y'all,
I just simply can't make it. And you need to understand.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Y'all gonna be mad at me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
I gotta it's a boundary.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
You know what you can hear and Miami is you
want to take shots? You want to do I can't
do it. You do fill the spot with somebody else.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Okay, I'm a twenty year old guy who found you
guys during quarantine. I gotta say, y'all cracked me up
and expose me to how freaky women are really.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
I guess I could see where you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
I just wanted to ask y'all, what would what a
guy need to do to make you feel comfortable with
having threesomes? Okay, people are really the threesomes because we're
about to get in the house.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
Maybe maybe they've been watching a lot of TV shows
and movies that what's that show in Texas.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
King of the Hill, which I did start watching.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
The Yeah, uh no, it's people in it, like human actors. No, no,
the Hunting Club, the Hunting Wives Club, something like that.
I think I haven't made it very far, but there's
a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
Of sex in the show.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
I think there's some group sex going on, some couple swapping,
wife swapping type of things.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
So maybe people are just watching more stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:07:41):
Maybe they are having three someomes in a committed relationship,
as in, he's your boyfriend. This isn't about adding another
woman to the relationship making it a full blown triad.
I remember Medina talking about it once when she got
courted by a couple. So how does that work? Where
or how do they find you? Would you guys ever

(01:08:03):
entertain a situation like that, et cetera. He's trying to ask,
like he's trying to ask. That's something real quick?

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
Okay? Also, how and where do I meet?

Speaker 3 (01:08:13):
Women like Kiki's friend from Hedonism, who was featured in
episode four four to three in the.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Contry specific thank you Sir in.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
The cocktail segment, Barbelle's in bondage. Thanks Ladies go to
war Tour.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
She might be there.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
She's gone several times since then. She loves Eadonism and
Hedonism loves her so, like, I'm not joking when I
say that is a great place to go and just
try it. It's kind of like Vegas. What happens in
Vegas stays in Vegas. It's like it doesn't have to
be awkward. You know what type of time, well, hopefully
you know what time you're going to be on. I'm

(01:08:48):
also a little confused, do you he has a girl, Yeah,
he has a girl, mana. He wants to have a
three sub and he doesn't know how to like say,
he wants to add he wants to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
And I think sometimes I think, honestly, now I'm at
a point now where it's like the times when the
random threesome has happened, or the some the couple did
have the.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
Confidence to ask.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
It was honestly their confidence, and they're like such a
romantic way or just swaggy way that they did it,
that they approached it wasn't that if you're nervous, I'm
probably not gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
You're definitely not.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
I'm not doing it all.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
So I think maybe you need to build up the
confidence to figure out your own way to do it,
because how somebody else approaches somebody it might not really
be what you do.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
The apps might work for you, but an app wouldn't
work for me.

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
Like I just said, I like to talk, and that
goes with any situation, even stuff where it's like we
had sex really quick and we didn't talk again. It
was still very much like all right, when we sitting
here eating or if we're having a drink, we're still
having a conversation and laughing and having fun. And same
with the threesome people, even if we're not gonna talk again,
or even if we're at.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
The sex club.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
It's just that's how I am though, That's what I'm
attracted to. If you come up and you're like, I
don't know how to do this, and it seems like
that I'm not doing this because now all the work
is on me and it's not even gonna be a
really great experience, and it should be an experience.

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
You can hire somebody for that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Yeah, So I think maybe get little comfortable, or find
somebody else who's never done it, and y'all all just be
scared together.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
I don't know how fun that will be. I also
want to add to that, ask yourself and your girlfriend,
why do y'all want this?

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
I don't know that she knows.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
Yeah, yeah, do you think that she wants this? How
are you going to have the conversation with her? Not
even the third party, because you you might still have
to get her on board. How are y'all when y'all
are around each other? Are y'all a couple where you
notice that people are looking at y'all, that people are
finding you attractive, or that people are trying to chat

(01:10:45):
you guys up, because it's a lot of singles out
here that will shoot their shot.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
Yeah, and they.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
See a couple that they find attractive, they'll go over there.
I think that you should continue to enjoy the relationship
that you're in, poor into that person that you have,
and if you want to have this sexual experience, first
of all, work on your sex game with the person
you already got. I just think, like, why the hell
are you here?

Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
And just spend money, Like if you are the man
and you the one request I'm not even talking about
if it's a sex worker. Take people to dinner and
you get in the drinks like you're trying to have
a nice little night.

Speaker 2 (01:11:17):
Well, how did you get your girlfriend to have sex
with you the first time?

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Hopefully it's not some long drawn out story, because're gonna
have to get creative and learn how to speed that up, right,
because you're not trying to have this triad group. I
started say a triad couple. That doesn't make sense, but
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
What I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:11:34):
How'd you get hur wash rents? Repeat and don't say
all love you. Yeah, so good luck you know again.
If you all want some advice, you can send it
to us advice at cocktailspod dot com. Oh lord, oh
this one is short. Okay, So this person says I
had a friend. I had a friend I was super
close with for ten plus years. Recently she started copying

(01:11:55):
everything I do. I've heard that happen before, same hair,
same even started a podcast with a name similar to mine.
What at first I thought it was flattery, but now
it feels weird and competitive? Should I confront her or
just distance myself? What say you, Medina?

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
I guess it depends on Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
I guess you don't be know one was gonna happen
becuse I had a friend do this to me and
we still friends, and it also did feel competitive.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
And I don't really know what to say.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
We got we kind of like got through it and
we're back friends. So it depends on, like how long
have y'all? She said, ten plus years?

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Okay, Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
Sometimes I I wonder if she realizes she's doing it,
because sometimes have you ever looked at people's sibling situation
and you're like, you don't ever you're the youngest, or
maybe you were spoiled.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
I don't really know. Sometimes it's like people just be weird.
I mean sometimes when you look at me and you're
like you see.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
Their family and you're like, oh this Bavis don't never
get no attention.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
She look up to me. Actually she don't know how
to say, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:12:59):
Like, does it feel like this is gonna be like
some hand that rocks the cradle shit where shes gonna
cquonk you upside they head.

Speaker 2 (01:13:04):
Kill you and she trying to take your life or I.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Don't think I've seen that. I'm not seeing It's so
I heard the in the room.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
It's an old movie, but it's real good. Yeah, maybe sorry,
you gotta look at that.

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
I past situations where it was like scary, like but
you gonna you doing too much, But this situation, I
was just like, she's like a little cousin.

Speaker 1 (01:13:22):
And then two like I don't know what your show
is or like what else you do? But I was
having this conversation with somebody the other day when I
was talking about the money niggas and then beefing on
the internet of all the Money Nigga podcast guys, the
Black Finance Bros.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
I call them the money niggas.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Anyway, they were saying something about other people copying, and
this is always such a interesting thing when people feel
like other people who are in the same space. Like, Okay,
so she started a podcast. I'm gonna tell you straight up,
her having a name similar to yours is weird as hell.
But I'm wondering is it really similar or everything. Yes,

(01:14:02):
you gotta you gotta write this back and let us
know the names, and then I'm gonna check it out too,
and if it's good, I'll leave you a little review.
But sometimes I think that you forget. Let's say your
podcast is really popular and you're really popular online, you're
an influencer territory. You tell these people about your life.
The reality is many people are forming parasocial relationships, right,

(01:14:25):
But this is a person in your life. Maybe you
have inspired her, maybe you have influenced her. And it's
not that she wants to be you or like is
jealous of you. She just really admires the things that
you do. So, like you said, this is like a
little cousin. Yeah, same thing. It's like many people saw
say that they saw, Oh this person did this, this
person knows you and that's what's making it weird. But

(01:14:47):
maybe just see what's going on and check in with her.
You know how I wouldn't say confront her. You should
talk to her about it. Confront feels like you coming
in where Okay, we gotta cut this out right now.
Just have a conversation and say something to her, because
it's is your friend.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
If it is your friend, because sometimes I'll be wondering.

Speaker 3 (01:15:02):
Sometimes people be like and she's trying to be like me,
and it's like, girl, no, nobody like you kind of
created something in your head when really you just upset
that she's starting the podcast and it's good, like you
know what I mean. Like, so it's like sometimes you
gotta look at yourself liked, am I jealous?

Speaker 2 (01:15:18):
And do I have the issue? And what is what
is the issue?

Speaker 3 (01:15:22):
And then also are you someone where like you could
y'all are friends and now she started the thing and
she needs help maybe with something or she's asking you
stuff and you're getting upset and you don't want to
have you know, there's just so much more that could
be a part of this story having Like it's just
like what there's so many as.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
Everybody has feelings and both of you are gonna have
a different perspective.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
Talk to your friend.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
Talk to your friend, and if she's not your friend,
you gonna find out because it is gonna turn into
probably some mess.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
Yeah. If this turns into a fall y'all, maybe wasn't
friends because it's like, okay, we really are jealous of
each other.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
This is weird.

Speaker 3 (01:15:54):
Even though I think you can work through jealousy. I
know most people don't think you can, but you can.
But it just depends on really how you feel. Are
you sitting over there matter, are you really concerned?

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
Are you just ready to be like I'm dying?

Speaker 3 (01:16:03):
You know, you can just tell some people just was
ready to stop being friends at you and it's like you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
Just wait on me to do something a long time ago.
But shit, give him a birthday present, bag. I have
the conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:16:18):
You kind of see like we're checking with yourself, see
if we a little feeling away and have the conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:16:25):
Good luck to you and this girl. Hopefully y'all don't
have a fallout, but sometimes you do need to have
a fallout. And you can love somebody and forgive them
and let them move on. You don't have to invite
them back, So.

Speaker 2 (01:16:34):
Just be careful out here.

Speaker 1 (01:16:36):
Anybody else who needs some help in your life. If
it's serious, I hope you talk to the lady and
pray about it. If it's serious. But maybe you just
want to find something to laugh at because you're something
real fucked up. Send it to us advice at cocktail
SPoD dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:16:53):
Uh huh, I'm but it ain't.

Speaker 5 (01:17:02):
I won't come on me.

Speaker 2 (01:17:04):
You ain't. Is it some catch in the place that
it once upon a time not long ago? I was?

Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
I am so sorry you guys. This cocktail is so long? Yes,
oh yeah, you just scrolling, scroll and scroll. It is
about a wedding party situation. We will read it in
the future. Girl, you don't have to Please don't send
it again. We got it, we'll read it. We'll read it,
but it's not gonna be today.

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
We've got to go home. It's late and we want
our beauty rest and I want to think about making
a cocktail. I asked y'all for ideas, and all we
got were threesome emails. So I don't know if you
all thought that's what I meant. It's not.

Speaker 2 (01:17:55):
So no more.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
I hope I will have a cocktail by the end
of the year for you guys. But I haven't tiptoe
back out there, and I went, I went on a
little I went on a little date when I was
in l A.

Speaker 2 (01:18:05):
Okay, it was nice. Maybe y'all, maybe y'all share it
next week.

Speaker 3 (01:18:09):
It's late, it's almost eleven pm.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
But I've been tipped on the back out there kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Like okay, like I said, I'm quickly like, okay, go
back inside right now. But we're out here giving these
men a chance.

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
We just gotta go from here so we can try
to live life anyway. Y'all keep us in your prayers, oops, dreams.

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
Good night.

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
Remember to follow us on Instagram. Check the description box
for all the links. Follow us on Instagram at Cocktails Podcast.
I'm at, Kiki said, so I'm at Coffee Bean.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
And until next week, you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:18:41):
Bye, good bye, bye bye bye bye, good bye bye
bye bye bye bye. T

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